Hey Sis, it was wonderful to hear your story. I'm sorry for what you went through, but you're a strong woman empowering so many others in need. Keep shining bright! 🌟

I respect fartun for speaking up for her sister. I love you cuzo you are very strong woman. You are our role model huno

Thank you for sharing your story

Wonderful to see you

Thanks for sharing your story Queen🙏🏽

Mashallah! So empowering ❤ inshallah you will get everything you want and be rewarded!

This is refreshing to hear. Thank you for sharing your story sister Fatoun and EatandTalk for hosting. I am based in UK and recently started thinking about becoming relationship and marriage counselor after I have seen the lack of it and the fact that it would solve many problems.

I am really happy and enjoy this podcast thanks yusra for inviting inspiring and dedicated women like furtun am really grateful to have such mom, entrepreneur and resilience women in our community proud of you allh idin xifdiyo❤

Extremely proud of you my dear cousin. I feel a shift towards healing for our entire family ❤ and it starts with us. Thanks for being so brave and transparent.

Fatoun, you are the representation of strength and resilience. May the weight of your vision and chosen responsibilities be lightened by community. Wishing everyone the peace to "talk to your soul"!

First of all, I don’t even know where to start. Habo Fatoun is so inspirational. There is something so calming about the way she speaks and articulates herself. I’m so happy she’s in a much better place in her life. May Allah continue to bless her and her children. I’ll be looking forward to future episodes with her and also her books! 💗🥰

You are an incredibly brave and resilient woman, such a heavy topic. May Allah increase your strength walaalo you are truly inspiring. Thank you for sharing

Both ladies very beautiful 😍 Allahuma Baarik

Masha allh. She is a wisewoman. Fatoun took about some main point that concern the issue of marriage. we wait her book.

Masha Allah habaryar keep going❤

Masha Allah ❤wonderful woman,!Resiliant

It’s crazy history Subaxnallah 😢😢

I’m sorry sorry to hear that that’s very sad sorry

Maanshalaa

I wish i could understand everything she said

@idmanl

25 күн бұрын

As salamu alaykum sister, which parts did you not understand? I speak Soomaali and can briefly summarize what she said for you. 😊

@nissa4644

25 күн бұрын

@@idmanl ​ waaleukum asalam wa rahmtulah! Awesome ! Thanks sister! basically, anytime she was speaking somali through out the video i wasn't understanding. But the parts I was particularly sad about was 6:36 to 10:36 , 21:04 to 24:34 , 37:50 to 44:13 and 45:20 to 49:30 as it seems she was saying important things.

@idmanl

24 күн бұрын

@@nissa4644 6:36- 10:36 Domestic abuse is real and it exists and it is often hidden in our community. Usually, someone loses their life from it or their life gets destroyed one way or another. Our community don’t want the family dynamic to be destroyed. But when there is a mentally ill person in the family it’s hard to diagnose them (since mental illness is taboo in our community and many other ethnic communities) which makes the situation even more difficult. I’m not making excuses for him, but my ex husband had mental illness and I didn’t know about it at that time. I didn’t know what depression was and nor did the wider community. I am not making excuses for his actions however, had I known he had mental health issues, I would’ve approached the situation differently. When I relocated to Minnesota a few years later is when I put two and two together and realized from his actions and the medicine he was taking that he suffered from depression. At that time I was young and I because my family forced me to marry him they did not want to ruin the family dynamic and I did not want to leave him because I grew up without a father, and I did not want the same for my children. But when things got too serious, I became afraid. He promised he would unalive me. I also found out that he Sexually assaulted a few children in my family. It was really heartbreaking to find that out. How can I stay with a man that’s S’A’d little girls. That’s when I asked him I want my divorce paper in which he replied “I will put you 6 feet under if you ask me that again”. Then he grabbed me and beat me up. I yelled and the neighbours heard me and came to my rescue. They took me to the hospital and he ran away. Relatives tried to convince me to not tell the doctors that he assaulted me and to keep it hush. They told me he’s the father of your children and you don’t want him going to jail. Because of how severely he beat me up, I had marks all over my head. I was bleeding profusely to the point I lost consciousness. I had to end up getting 7 stitches on my head. I remember the lady that took me to the hospital telling me to tell the doctors that I fell in the washroom. She begged me and said I don’t want your children to be taken away by CPS and for your husband to be put in jail. That’s when I realized that despite what men do, they will always have the support of the wider community. Men get defended and so does keeping the family together by any means necessary. If the marriage isn’t save, Allah made it halal for us to get a divorce and leave the toxic situation. So we must save our women. That’s when I knew the imams, neighbours and relatives wanted me to stay in the marriage regardless of what he did to me but I refused. I have to live for my son and daughter.

@idmanl

24 күн бұрын

@@nissa4644 21:04 - 24:34 Emotional, physical, mental and verbal abuse are the different types of abuse. Being verbally abused under the disguise of “I was just joking with you”. What we forget is when young people get married and the young woman becomes pregnant, she struggles. Her emotions are up and down and the young man doesn’t know how to handle it. When she gives birth, there is something called postpartum depression. Many of women are divorced because of PPD because the man assumes she has changed. There is no patience on the man’s part and because of the little knowledge about PPD in our community, it makes it even more difficult. We don’t have marriage counselling nor premarital counselling. If we give young people these resources prior to marriage and ask them these questions then many marriages can be saved. -- Do you know what marriage entails? Do you understand your role as a husband? Do you know your role as a wife? What is the reason as to why you’re getting married? I am attracted to you not I fell in love with you are not reasons to get married Marriage is very important. It’s part of our religion to get married. Men and women need each other and I advocate for young people to get married. But before marriage happens, we need to do premarital counselling that way both the man and woman know their respective roles.

@idmanl

24 күн бұрын

@@nissa4644 37:50 - 44:13 He use the hide the medication he was using for depression from everyone. He didn’t fulfill his duties as a husband and a man. After having two children with him, I decided I wouldn’t have anymore. I put myself on birth control and decided to just raise the two children I have and just stay with him. I was raised without a father so I did not want the same for my children. Those men gave me a safe environment to communicate and talk to men. They welcomed me. They had my back because they can see my husband wasn’t a good man. I decided to stay in the marriage, become resilient and raise my children. When I came to Minnesota I become friends with a few men and they welcomed me with open arms. We became a family and they made me feel comfortable as if I was their sister. I have so many of them and they help me out a lot with the programs I run. A home needs a mother and a father, both willing to learn from each other because we are in a constant battle. The men are in a battle and so are the women but they don’t know who they are battling. They are self destructing and are causing harm to the children they share. When you look at Somali Youth Family Development centre, we focus on family strengthening and building the foundation of a family from the ground up. We aim to teach Somali men the responsibilities that are bestowed upon them and how to fulfil them. Some of the things I’ve seen that many Somali mothers do need to stop. I am not blaming the mothers because they were taught this as well from the wider community. I also can’t blame these young men because they are also taught these things. How can you expect a young man that had his bed done for him, his food brought to him, his clothes washed and dried for him, water brought to him in a bowl to wash his hands etc to be responsible. He wants his wife to treat him the way his mother and sisters treated him. The girls in Somalia and the ones in the west are not the same. The culture is different. We need to change how we are raising our sons. We need to teach them to step up and stop coddling them. I started teaching my son at age 5 how to vacuum, make his bed and fold his clothes. I would tell myself I don’t know when I am going to die, so I wanted to teach him tangible skills that way, had anything happened to me while my children were young, he would be self sufficient just like my daughter. He is the chef of the house now. If we take care of the house duties together then we can take care of outside duties as well. We can also raise a family together. But, we need to change our system and how we are raising our boys. We need to teach our girls their worth, educate them and teach them their value. When we look at our family dynamics, many things need to change. The husband goes to work, drinks Starbucks, comes home and expects a hot meal. Meanwhile, the mother who probably doesn’t speak nor understand English and works at Amazon is expected to still clean, cook and look after the kids even though she is exhausted.

Naag intay TV soo fariisatay ninkeeda iyo gogosheeda ka sheekaynaysa oo anaga khatar iskaga kaaya dhigaysa waxan dhihi Lahaa TIKTOK

@zahi5131

23 күн бұрын

Maxakagalay adi macnaha😏😏

@fandere3745

23 күн бұрын

if it's domestic abuse,she has to speak about MUST

@loveyourselffirst7560

Күн бұрын

Ninka abaha ka was wasaqa xun iyo adiga isku mid baa tihiin gogoshaada abaha ka was ey ey dhaley