God I love chickens. I love chickens soo goddamn much. I want to own a chicken but I live in a cramped apartment and I can't do it legally. I decorated a tissue box with a chicken face so I could pretend I own one, but every day I wake up crying because of the fact that the Australian government has forbidden me from owning a chicken. I've been saving up money to move to somewhere that allows chickens like norway or something so I could finally achieve my life goal. My parents came by my room last night, and confronted me about the lack of motivation in my life, but I explained to them for the 1 millionth' time that I would be able to continue my political science degree if I was able to own a chicken. they left the room crying and I punched a hole in the wall out of frustration. I've been buying eggs in bulk and cracking them in the bath so I can be with my kind. My roommate joked about tarring and feathering me to make me "normal". I lit his bed on fire. Please, if you read this, send me a chicken. I don't care about the laws, I just want a chicken. I live at 10 Beaconsfield Road. Send me a chicken, or a fertile egg, I've got the incubation set up. I will pay full price. If you cannot, please refer me to a no questions asked poultry delivery service. Please, I've been suffering for so long. Just give me a chicken.