Please keep doing these podcasts. I am a betrayed and I have lived with an angry husband my entire marriage. Everything you have said makes so much sense to me. I will ask him to watch this episode. He has been unfaithful and is working on repairing the damage he has done. Thank you for making these discussions easy to follow, everything is so carefully explained. thank you😊

Sam and James, decided to come back to the beginning, although I’ve been watching and following Sam for over 2 years now. As a betrayed, now single mother low income and still dealing with the betrayer and his unhealed ways I want to thank you so much for your content as it keeps me sane and re-enforces the work I have done, alone, my boundaries and confidence in how to deal with things. I’ve still a way to go with certain triggers. But this man still thinks he has a place to defend and explain things despite doing no work. Seeing a therapist once a week he thinks is work and I suspect there are a good manor of old masks being worn sadly. I wish it was different. I am so grateful for my faith and the bible and what that has taught me. You really can see the fruits, or not (evidence) of whether an unfaithful is serious about change or not. Sadly I haven’t experienced any of them and my heart goes out to all those in the same position as me. Stuck with this person as the father of your children, absolutely as James and Sam explain in this video, having completely trusted someone more than anyone else and they do something you never thought they would even comprehend let alone follow through on and for the length of time he did and the outcome being another child and still living under the same roof as the AP while claiming he isn’t with her and doesn’t want to be. I pray God rescue from this hell everyday. I want to genuinely thank every single unfaithful whom is brave and courageous to do their work, to drop their masks and be real, open and honest. Who heal and seek a better life for all involved in their destruction to bring some new lease of life, whatever that is for you. Thank you!

I really enjoyed the podcast and listened to it with my husband. However I was quite offended by James’s comments about the betrayed knowing what was going on but choosing not to acknowledge it and shift their attention to something else. I have heard that opinion before and think it’s total crap. I was completely blindsided by my husband’s infidelity. I knew we were drifting apart and felt a disconnect but never considered he was cheating. He went to promise keepers. He went on global mission trips. This was a godly man(although flawed like all of us). But to say I looked the other way while he had an affair for 5 years is insulting and feels like blaming the betrayed for sticking their head in the sand. I trusted him implicitly and was deceived. That was not my fault. You made a lot of great points but missed the mark on that one

@AskTheUnfaithful

4 ай бұрын

Hello Lisa, Please forgive the awful and clumsy way I said the comment about partner’s “knowing.” In listening to myself, I absolutely did not communicate what I intended to and the way that I did was unintentionally hurtful. It says and implies that the Betrayed are aware of the sexual acting out before their discovery. Nothing could be farther from the truth. My intent was to convey what we often see, through working with so many Betrayed partners, is the partner intuitively feeling (not consciously aware of) that something is off, or not entirely as it should be, before Discovery. So many Betrayed partners are blindsided by their Unfaithful’s sexual acting out and secrets. I was talking about more of intuition, of a “heart-knowing” (sadness, loneliness, yearning) than a brain-knowing or conscious awareness. We also know that, for some, the Unfaithfuls are so adept at manipulation and lying that some partners even don’t feel that heart-sense of sadness or of something being off. Please accept my apology for my failed attempt to convey this idea and for triggering the pain of being misunderstood - yet again. Thank you so much for bravely putting your pain out there and for offering me the grace to address it .

@LisaLevy-gs1it

4 ай бұрын

Apology accepted and greatly appreciated!

@alismith7916

Ай бұрын

I agree totally with what you have said. I would have bet my life on my husband being faithful to me after fourty years and he had a long term affair with a fat ugly pig from the office. I am an attractive , hardworking woman, raised our five kids and gave him complete freedom to do sports etc. as he worked so hard. I was totally selfless, trusting and never asked for anything. I feel foolish, stupid , and my foundations have been shaken . Luckily I am older and have a couple decades of life left only thankfully. My heart goes out to,you. I understand.

Mine was so angry during his affair. He would slam down dinner throw things etc. I fell on my sidewalk and hit my head and he just walked away.

Can you do a video about why you need a full disclosure to heal your marriage. Example every time we are around his friends the open their mouths about what happened. And it’s triggers all over again. He can’t remeber anything and says I don’t know. Until I get answers I will not trust

@thebluebutterfly5177

4 күн бұрын

I’m not an expert but from my own personal experience with full disclosure it means the unfaithful is willing to be open and honest, despite it being a very difficult process for both involved. What the unfaithful says and what is true I’m afraid we have discovered are two different things. So while this maybe hard to hear or perhaps you have already realised this yourself, it’s unlikely he is being honest with you and it’s too much for him to be. It’s up to you to decide if that’s something you can live with or not. In addition to this I want to apologise that his friends have such little regard for you that they discuss such a damaging and personal topic like this in front of you like they do. If these are his “peers”, then who would be an accountability partner? I noticed you had commented a good 4 months ago and no one had responded to you, I’m sorry about that. This can also leave us floating around in an unknown.

You so perfectly articulate how it feels to be betrayed by the person you loved and trusted the most. You lose all sense of yourself, all trust, your self esteem, your foundation. You think your whole life was a lie. Your past and future are gone. And yet, through all this devastation they caused, they blame you ( as if you havent already blamed yourself), rage on you, and abandon you for the unconscious person they cheated with. You carry shame like never before. Society congratulates them for their happiness on social media, while you are left in the dust with traumatized children. Then they ruin you financially through the family court system. Your heart, soul, family and home are broken. If you are like me, you still love them, forgive them and pray they wake up and realize what they have done. I never understood how anyone could take their life until now. I also never understood what it meant to fully surrender to God until now. Thank you, this video really helps me.

Always great content delivered by two of the best. Thanks for starting this new and impactful podcast - lots to learn, absorb and grow from - great stuff.

Link both your other podcasts, socials, websites. Super grateful for this podcast! Thank you.

This was SUPER informative and helpful. thank you for sharing!

Sam you have made another great podcast. Thank you again for your work. You are doing some great stuff, please keep it up.

@AskTheUnfaithful

4 ай бұрын

thanks so much my friend. means so much to hear that.

Love the insight so much! This was healing.

Very insightful. Thank you!

This podcast is so insightive

Mine told me he has no sympathy for me after he left me and our kids after I had my baby for his ap he’s so angry and mean to me

So powerful

Because the best defense is a good unaccountable offense.