Ep. 395 | The Pain of Clinging

The Minimalists talk about leaving a home that’s weighing you down and why no one can make you happy. Watch all 2 hours of episode 395 on The Minimalists Private Podcast: / theminimalists
Discussed in this episode:
How do you let go of a home that's weighing you down? (01:19)
Why don’t you consider the plugging of your own private podcast advertising? (14:17)
How does the Maxim “No one can make you happy” help people who are already lonely? (27:01)
Why am I anxious despite having everything I need? (42:16)
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Пікірлер: 51

  • @TheMinimalistsPodcast
    @TheMinimalistsPodcast Жыл бұрын

    What's weighing you down?

  • @Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamanda

    @Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamanda

    Жыл бұрын

    My dying friend is weighing me down... my only best friend has really hard cancer 😢 she is always happy and there for you even if her radiotherapy is hard on her😢❤ Thank you for your pods ❤

  • @wendylee13

    @wendylee13

    Жыл бұрын

    My son and his wife cut me out of his life and they have a almost two year old and it’s killing me but I know this happened for a reason. He’s bipolar and autistic and when he and his sister were little it was so hard raising him and I did everything I could to get him through life. However, because I have severe anxiety and was married to an alcoholic who was also autistic I did it all almost alone and I would get so overwhelmed by the melt downs, IEP’s, teachers being upset, he was bullied I could go on and on- sometimes I was loud and would yell and I caused my children to not be around me now that they are adults. I was a young 23 year old mom dealing with so much. I wish I could have been calmer but for them everything is black and white and his wife is on the spectrum too and I’m re married and I’m a much calmer person now and I’m a loving giving person but they have decided 7:39 recently to cut me out again and she’s very controlling and took so many joys away from me. Her mother even called me once and said don’t you out do us at Christmas just because you have money. I can’t believe my son does not see this controlling anxiety behavior. God took them away for a reason but It’s hard to not cling to it! Please help me! I’m trying to let go!!!! 😢

  • @amiblack8294

    @amiblack8294

    Жыл бұрын

    Relationships in which I invested heavily-emotionally, spiritually and financially-only to be treated as though my husband and I were nothing to them, although we have been super close to them since they were born. Emotional pain in weighing me down from this. The disappointment and emotional pain weighs me down.

  • @wendylee13

    @wendylee13

    Жыл бұрын

    @@amiblack8294 I’m sorry you are feeling this way as well! I’m in a season of letting go of a lot of relationships and a job that no longer serves me! I’m terrified but exhausted mentally and ready for changes! Hugs

  • @Redwing635s

    @Redwing635s

    Жыл бұрын

    expectations

  • @BerryHair405
    @BerryHair405 Жыл бұрын

    I consider the Minimalist Podcast marketing a form of standing in the truth of your value. Some listeners appreciate reducing advertisement noise and increasing learning and ethical marketing. This is one of the few channels that doesn't have the jarring spam of other youtube channels and listeners can get more clarity on the content. Thank you!

  • @janisstrohl5712
    @janisstrohl5712 Жыл бұрын

    Don't put your happiness in someone else's pocket. ❤ you guys!

  • @msusanti
    @msusanti Жыл бұрын

    Agree with TK on making someone happy. My cats put a smile on my face everyday. I hope they don’t feel pressured to make me smile. 😁 but they do add the joy to my everyday life.

  • @carriecarter
    @carriecarter Жыл бұрын

    Thank you gentleman for sticking to what you believe!!! So admirable!!!!

  • @jackiecee7575
    @jackiecee7575 Жыл бұрын

    For me, one of your best podcasts. Thank you all

  • @franmcdonald4702
    @franmcdonald4702 Жыл бұрын

    Idea for Your next book: "The Psychology of Minimalism." I have even greater respect for you both after watching your Netflix movie. You have an amazing way of getting to the heart of the issues Which must be dealt with a lot of times before the freedom of minimalism can come forth. This is not just how to clean a closet, (as helpful as that is).❤

  • @universaltruth2025
    @universaltruth2025 Жыл бұрын

    Consumerism/buying things we don’t need is one symptom of negative emotions, whatever the reason may be & dysfunctional relationships. We buy things to make ourselves feel better. We buy gifts for our children’s birthdays because it’s easier and more manageable than doing something. Which still requires money usually but also more planning, organisation, communication and cooperation. A lot of people cannot manage the latter, so buying things is the easier solution. We fill the emotional gaps in our lives with things.

  • @findingaway5512
    @findingaway5512 Жыл бұрын

    I really love that you don't have ads. That said ..... I am not a member of your Patreon. Not something I have in my life currently and I am cool with that ( but does sound amazing) but I greatly value the fact that there are content creators that make free content for me. Whether there are ads or not. I am someone who will let ads play to support content. 😊 Not a big deal to me. I grew up in the era of commercials with a family that didn't buy everything. So watching an ad for something isn't making me buy that thing.... Even if it is awesome. And I appreciate hearing about products or books or Patreon content or courses even if I am not doing those as well and even if I am. I feel proud of the work that goes into that and am amazed of the things creators I love have done or been part of. So I value their success. I think there is lots of positivity in routing for others that are on paths that lift up other or benefit lives. So many wonderful humans out there. Support doesn't have to be financial. I would love if I could support people I get value of more financially and maybe someday that will be part of my life but I'm content now in spreading some love and appreciation where I can and where it is genuine. ❤ Thank you all for your hard work, wisdom and lovely outlook on life and freeing those from the weight of things that may be holding them back or taking away from their value and the important things in life. ❤

  • @Alldaysun
    @Alldaysun Жыл бұрын

    I really enjoyed this 395 episode I have viewed it more than once. It’s so powerful.

  • @tkohearn5645
    @tkohearn5645 Жыл бұрын

    1. You don’t have ads cluttering your channel! Thank You!❤️. I think the comment was a little snarky-you market any creation you make! Also, are we going to see Alabama? Her voice is amazing and she is a mystery:))

  • @ArifBasri
    @ArifBasri Жыл бұрын

    on still feeling anxiety despite having everything, you are right, The key is in the narrative of "having everything should make me happy". I think the anxiety is caused by the worry of what if one day I lose those things, what would be of me. I need to let go and really believe in the statement that "things are not what make me happy". I need to let go some of my possessions and get used to not having everything. So that I can disturb the notion that "I have everything I need' tagged to things. And tag that notion to something else besides things e.g. feeling, health, acquaintances, family, relationship. So I can be not anxious of the worry of losing that 'eveything’ that i need. Because even when having everything, it will never be enough to fulfill my needs.

  • @constanzalevaggi3417
    @constanzalevaggi3417 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you all. God bless You. Hi from Argentina

  • @elaineclaire7063
    @elaineclaire7063 Жыл бұрын

    " minimalism is about looking at all your options, putting them on the table and assessing them to how they relate to your highest value" - what If all your options are of high value ? this is a question I always ask myself when I donate my items - recently my father threw away a soap holder which to me was of high value - after all it was handmade in Agra - home to the Taj Mahal from a family who came from artisans - but to my father it meant no value since It was covered in dirt - the material was however made by a slab of marble - also known as soap stone - is a rarity and to me anything handmade holds the highest value - so I rarely give away such items because I appreciate the maker who makes them. anyone has thoughts about handmade items being the highest value? I love TK's critical thinking questions on minimalism. It sheds a light on my lifestyle.

  • @iamloved223

    @iamloved223

    Жыл бұрын

    I have learned that I can appreciate items, but that doesn't always equate to needing to own them. Sometimes the value is in the discovery and appreciation. We don't have to own a painting in order to enjoy its beauty.

  • @debramackillop950

    @debramackillop950

    Жыл бұрын

    @@iamloved223 I am 70. I still work part-time. Today what I value has some differences from decades past. Because I value my time most of all, I do not want it spent on buying, cleaning, feeling cluttered by, or having to figure out how to dispose of, things. What I value is about how I feel. Things made by my children or grandchildren seem priceless, give me joy, and I try to keep them. Some art and my poetry books give me joy. I have thinned out the poetry books. But if there's no room for some of the art, i find a home for it. To me it seems very personal and subjective as to what we choose to keep and treasure and the rest can go.

  • @michelefristad2612
    @michelefristad2612 Жыл бұрын

    Your teams are truly a group of beautiful people!!

  • @orientalshorthaircats
    @orientalshorthaircats6 ай бұрын

    I totally understand that providing info about your own creations is not the same as an ad and I don't complain, but would like to add that perception-wise when Josh delivers the same pre-written announcements in a modulated voice time and time again it does sound advertisement-y (at a certain point my brain starts to shut them out), so I suppose it can sound just like an ad to someone

  • @leicanyc8609
    @leicanyc8609 Жыл бұрын

    Gaby, TK's advice about exploring your options is terrific. Something to consider - could you negotiate a buy-out that would allow you to buy a place that you would like better outright or put down a hefty deposit on a place with a small mortgage? Not bigger maybe but better for you? Perhaps a place just for you like a 1 bedroom - or a larger place where you could get a roommate who will play rent you could apply to your mortgage? Think about how you use this experience to become a home/condo owner and not a renter. Then what you pay on your mortgage goes to you, not your landlord.

  • @amonralice
    @amonralice Жыл бұрын

    Hey, guys. Some people should know the difference between advertising and marketing... 😄

  • @thecountrychickadee
    @thecountrychickadee Жыл бұрын

    Wow. What a powerful podcast. I’m trying to make a difficult decision. Some very useful thoughts here.

  • @patdennis2586
    @patdennis2586 Жыл бұрын

    Happiness is something one shares not acquires.

  • @Girasoles
    @Girasoles Жыл бұрын

    Just found you guys on youtube and are my favorite podcast by far💜

  • @findingaway5512
    @findingaway5512 Жыл бұрын

    Yeah.... If you put the pressure of your happiness on a partner they will fall short.... Because they don't have that power.... Even if you think you gave it to them. We are all imperfect beings. They will end up depleted meeting your needs and loose themselves and eventually empty and will be a shell and not have anything left to give.

  • @JDGuitar82
    @JDGuitar82 Жыл бұрын

    Great episode today, thanks guys.

  • @y10534
    @y10534 Жыл бұрын

    She needs to decide what's more important, her sanity or her starting new.

  • @sandracunningham3995
    @sandracunningham3995 Жыл бұрын

    Already watched this episode.

  • @user-wz7rc9yu3k
    @user-wz7rc9yu3k Жыл бұрын

    I don't think she ought to move. Trying to find an inexpensive place anywhere in the Bay Area, for that price is going to be impossible. Finding a job, and becoming more minimalistic will help her feel better. We recently moved to South Carolina, where it is much less expensive to live. But rentals here are already more than $1,200 a month. I think she will be hard-pressed to find a less expensive place to live. Unless she is willing to make a big move, it won't be worth it. The joy is just letting go ... of the stuff. Sense of place is hard for a lot of people and finding something less is expensive will be near to impossible.

  • @arlenelicklider4643
    @arlenelicklider4643 Жыл бұрын

    Thanks guys, great discussion!

  • @alanbirkner1958
    @alanbirkner1958 Жыл бұрын

    Every day, I get rid of at least 20 things. Some of my neighbors converted a bedroom into a custom closet. Tina, Al's wife

  • @kimberlyjohnson6052
    @kimberlyjohnson6052 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you! ❤

  • @taylorsessions4143
    @taylorsessions4143 Жыл бұрын

    Anyone have thoughts about the opposite of people making you happy, only in reverse? I think about some toxic people that have been in my life and the relief that came from cutting them out of it. I know I'm still responsible for my emotions, but I can't help but think that the people we invite into our lives still help our hinder what we are attempting to feel.

  • @chantalecoulombe838

    @chantalecoulombe838

    Жыл бұрын

    Exactly and it ain't too easy to make this decision and if we do decide to cut them out than we are able to start to live again

  • @susandaw144
    @susandaw144 Жыл бұрын

    The minimalist lifestyle has been slow for me but I’ve recently picked up the pace. Today I threw away a 6 year old Reader’s Digest that I had buried in the back seat of my car!

  • @beans4853

    @beans4853

    Жыл бұрын

    So freeing!

  • @talatmansoor7843
    @talatmansoor7843 Жыл бұрын

    Can you kindly advise me how to get better relationship with my husband with the aging process it’s getting worse l am 67 and he is 71. We fight very often

  • @bernardofitzpatrick5403
    @bernardofitzpatrick5403 Жыл бұрын

    Subscribed

  • @Jordan-4-Him-NM
    @Jordan-4-Him-NM10 ай бұрын

    Comfort Zones are great until they keep you from moving into the area/adventure where you need to be.

  • @aaron___6014
    @aaron___6014 Жыл бұрын

    Alabama sounds like the lady from the Howard Stern show.

  • @farizaakhmetova8433
    @farizaakhmetova8433 Жыл бұрын

    🔥🔥🔥

  • @A222Z
    @A222Z Жыл бұрын

    It's especially annoying when someone has a video of 'sleep music/affirmations' & then advertisements come on in the middle. Well, that makes the video absolutely worthless in my opinion.🥺

  • @aaron___6014
    @aaron___6014 Жыл бұрын

    If you're promoting a good, service, book or course that is a form of advertising!

  • @bethshoaf
    @bethshoaf Жыл бұрын

    When did the black gentleman join your show?

  • @TheMinimalistsPodcast

    @TheMinimalistsPodcast

    Жыл бұрын

    T.K. has been a cohost for over a year now!

  • @jessicahalvorsen9315
    @jessicahalvorsen9315 Жыл бұрын

    If she’s gonna get evicted anyway for not paying rent throughout the whole rent control case then what even was the point of going thru the legal battle. Why fight for 1200 if she can’t even pay 1200. So stupid

  • @jyllchase5174
    @jyllchase5174 Жыл бұрын

    There was a lot good stuff in this video. But the VERY FIRST thing Gaby said was that she WON the case. And you guys keep babbling on about IF she wins. EVERY time you refer to that it pulls me out of the ggod stuff you're saying. Of course I'm listening to this while surrounded by the detritus of my life after taking a month off for my dad's death so what do I know.🤷‍♀️