I am an 8w7, but entitlement doesn't resonate with me. I take and use as much as possible the things freely given to us by Nature- the open sky, fresh air, rain, streams, mountains, oceans, berries and mushrooms in the forest, wild flowers in the ditch, sunsets and the milky way...However, I never exploit anyone's time, favors or even borrow things. I exercise many forms of my generosity often, but I guard fearlessly my time, body and values I hold. I never put myself first. I never take the best bites, or the best seat. So, eights as grabbing from others, greedy and manipulative is quite confusing to me. However, excessive passion for life is definitely my "sin" from which many benefit. At 70 years old, I developed zero tolerance for being controlled or controlling/saving others, although by not letting to be manipulated is perceived as being a control freak. I am grateful for being an 8, and grateful for your Tom insightful knowledge you share.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this.

When I left the golden cage of my first marriage 36 years ago, I made a promise to myself: I would never again allow anyone to clip my wings. Since then, and until now, no one has been able to clip those soaring wings. I agree, if I can't be free, I'd rather die.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Thanks.

Most perceive the 8's clear, fast vision of a situation's complexity as rigid black-and-white thinking. It's not. We simply see, in seconds, the future trajectory of this "rolling ball." When my warnings are ignored, I've learned to stop insisting. Instead, I just accept the disappointing consequence of being right.

@alicemanning6799

2 ай бұрын

Hahaha I agree ☝️ the seeing in seconds. Yes! My husband is a one and he’s meticulous about research and what path to take. Me, I know very quickly which is the right path and I’m sure it sounds egotistical but us 8s have good instincts and don’t need to take hrs on research before taking action. It takes a lot of patience to watch the ball roll off the tracks, for-see it and let it happen and then not say “I told you” 😆

@architektura204

2 ай бұрын

@@alicemanning6799 it was very fun to read your comment. Years ago I have substituted "I told you", for "I hate to be right". I never understand why what is so obviously clear, for others is not even a dot on a horizon. So being right, too many times, turns out to be a sad, even a tragic consequence. I prefer to be wrong.

@twlahue

20 күн бұрын

Ah, the burden of being right! Maybe we should start a support group for the misunderstood 8s.

"If you get lust and gluttony together, you get a recipe for lot of person". You made me laugh Tom so hard, my stomach is hurting. Only in retrospect I see that as soon as I would walk in a room, I was taking the whole world by its horns. I love playing with sevens. I love your kind, sensitive and super funny sens of humor Tom.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it... A Lot of Person...

I finally figured out why my 8-ness reacts with anger. Anger is my natural reaction when I am hurt or feel indignant. My tears are only for what melts and opens my heart, like love, compassion and beauty. I never allow others to see my pain, and not only because most people manage to say something irrelevant or stupid then, but mainly because I have a very intimate relationship with my pain. It is a guiding voice I need to hear alone to learn from it.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing! Awesome.

The crazy making thing is 8 always have to adjust the way we communicate to others but the others never are expected to make adjustments how they communicate towards us. Just like quick passionate response could be bad, slow, delayed or emotional response is equally as bad. Some people use slowness delayed responses to control us or others.

@twlahue

20 күн бұрын

Maybe we should start a "Communication Adjustment Support Group" for all of us who feel this way!

8/7 wing and I definitely laughed out loud at a few things in this! Justifying bad behavior is definitely something I’ve done and reflected on later, not in guilt but more “why’d I have to do that” the grief quote was interesting and makes sense in the way you explained it. I can see that too! I definitely laughed out loud at the 5 like response to a loved one coming home late. That is 100% me. “I was so worried” vrs “where were you, why didn’t you check in” I go full investigation mode when I feel any sense of worry or lack of control/respect…I don’t always realize I’m doing it which is why your example made me LOL -now the part about 8/7 wing being loud or known in the room. That is not me! I’m quiet and more observant in the corners.

@sofiyaserj2553

2 ай бұрын

Then maybe you're 8w9, cuz 8w7 anything but quite 😊

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Great.

@alicemanning6799

2 ай бұрын

@@sofiyaserj2553 I think I need more of the 9! I’m definitely not quiet once you know me or are close enough to affect me haha but amongst strangers in a crowded room or social setting I’m not gonna be announcing myself

@sofiyaserj2553

2 ай бұрын

​@@alicemanning6799 wow interesting 🤔

@vlverm7096

Ай бұрын

8/7I agree. I don't say things to people I don't know be cause I can project and play out the entire confrontation and argument and it's not worth it. TODAY, in less than 5 minutes, one elderly woman cut me in line at the bank and just pretended not to see me, but inched closer to the person in front of me. I laughed out loud every time she did it. Then another elderly man sped up to drive in front of me as I'm crossing the street with the right of way. He did the same thing as the previous lady. Giving me this little look of I see you but I'm gonna pretend I didn't. 20 years ago I would've made a scene in the bank, cursing out the lady shouting "you think cuz you are old and useless your time is worth more than mine so you can cut me in line?" And the guy who almost ran me over I would've ran up to his window and confronted him. But I think that same intensity people are afraid of, is the same intensity they wish wish they had themselves.

Yes- mainly right, minus few details… but seeing big picture: yes, this was good 👍

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Awesome.

45:50 as a 9, I'd be so bold to volunteer "In struggling to appreciate that at the moment, but you do of course have a valid point and I will get there" I also want to just delete and say nevermind I'm wrong, you'll just lose them from the 'BS' high word count 😂 I'll be brave, I hope it helps

@twlahue

17 күн бұрын

Don't delete, just call it a "creative revision"!

Great explanation.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Self preservation 8s as 5s!

@twlahue

11 күн бұрын

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's always interesting to hear different perspectives!

Basically, what you are saying is that they are the naricissistics of the enneagrams. I know two like this.

@sharris5150

2 ай бұрын

No that is not what he is saying. Are some narcissistic yes however, there are other numbers on the enneagram that can become narcissistic as well. Its not cookie cutter or one number specific for that disorder.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Some could be, but definitely not all 8's. And not all narcissists will be 8's.

@alicemanning6799

2 ай бұрын

It all depends your health lvls ! He definitely wasn’t basically saying that 8s are the narcissists of the enneagram haha 🤣 but you definitely aren’t a 9 I can guess that! Lol

@Dani-jo9yr

2 ай бұрын

I know 2 and 4 among others who are narcs . Healthy 8 💯not. Just to much honest maybe….

@architektura204

2 ай бұрын

In psychology, the concept of "projection" refers to a defense mechanism where someone attributes their own negative qualities to others. Otto Kernberg, Karen Horney and other respected psychoanalysts, discussed the concept of "the narcissistic transference," where someone with narcissistic traits would misinterpret others' behavior as narcissistic."

I think the loyality to ones self thing is a last resort when we're being misunderstood, like we're ok being the lone wolf and strong enough to stand alone.

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Right.

@1111OOOOI

2 ай бұрын

Thanks

I am an8w7, and right now, I need an other 8to kick my butt into action since I am procrastinating a lot these days...

@twlahue

17 күн бұрын

Hey, we all have those days! Just take a deep breath, refocus, and tackle that to-do list one step at a time. You got this!

Lol exactly about 8 admitting their lust sin😁 I told my 8 friend that and she was like oohh yeaahhh😁

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Nice

Dr. Tom for fun you should assign animals to all the types. Like for example... Healthy 8 would be a Lion Average 8 a house cat Unhealthy 8 grizzly bear robbed of her cubs lol

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

Good idea.

@1111OOOOI

2 ай бұрын

Haha cool

Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter would be an 8

@twlahue

17 күн бұрын

Appreciate your comment, thanks for engaging!