Literally me (9w1) watching this as I wait to leave for my very first dance class, which I decided to do because I've always wanted to learn to dance! I'm nervous but also excited!

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

You got this!

@DrewClark-ov5up

Ай бұрын

Wonderful! I’m also a 9w1 - I took my first ballet class at 28, did it on and off for a while, and just performed for the first time a couple weeks ago at age 48. Best of luck to you!

9w8 here. The hardest part is waking up from the sleepwalk. The second hardest part is staying awake. I think us 9s really aren't built for the go-go-go capitalist individual society. We're perfect for communal tribes though. We'll do what's required, keep the peace, and be content without getting restless. It's why people enjoy being around us so much.

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this.

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

Just thinking about the sleep imagery in its more positive sense - some people need more sleep than others. Staying awake constantly (the go-go-go society) is the unhealthy way of being. If we're sleepwalkers, I assume we're getting poorer quality sleep and less of it because of the condition. This might represent being down on ourselves and the fact that our way of being can be seen negatively by others, or even just not acknowledging our needs and strengths. We might be sleeping at inconvenient times.(when, if we were our healthy selves, we'd like to act, or just because we're overwhelmed) It's not the sleeping that's wrong. I guess where I'm going with this is "How can I have truly fulfilling rest/recreation/peace so that I'm less likely to 'sleep' in unhealthy or unhelpful ways?" Hard to do in this world, as you said.

@WackadoodleMalarkey

Ай бұрын

​@atypicalgeek88 In my neck of the woods, if someone is to agress on me, usually it's with a "Hey! Howard! Get your head out of your _hiney!_ " And almost invariably, it's someone making a fair enough point and I'll engage into action (or am blindsided and awaiting orders) but, there's a third possibility that I might go full insurrectionist and inform them that they can -blessedly- well remove their hiney from their head.

31:14 It’s not about hard, nines can do hard things. I think it’s more about energy consumption. If I use up my finite (mental, physical, emotional) energy and really work hard on this will it be worth it? Will it result in anything? If nines don’t think their presence (or efforts) matters then why bother. There’s no such thing as a guaranteed outcome so perhaps that’s why 9s put so much effort into fairly inconsequential things like busy tasks around the house. At least we know that if I take x action the y will result.

@twlahue

21 күн бұрын

Woah, deep thoughts there! It's cool how you're connecting the dots between energy, effort, and outcomes. Keep those insights coming!

Dr Tom, I hope you don't mind some good-faith feedback... I've watched many of your videos, from all the types, and gone through your entire 9 playlist. They've helped me unlock tremendous awareness and clarity. And I know you have many 9s in your life and family, so I know it all comes from a good place... but truth be told, at the end of your videos... I'm often left feeling bad about myself. It's like being back at school, with teachers baffled as to why I didn't seem to find homework all that important, why I didn't know what I wanted to do in the future, where my motivation was. Many of your videos give off that same "oh dear... what ARE we going to do with you" energy. But it's because you care! I can tell how much your heart aches for us. You, especially as a 7, have so many things you want to do it could fill up multiple lifetimes - while it seems us 9s are stuck figuring out what we want to do this weekend. And I totally get it. You just want us to snap out of zombie mode and experience the same richness of life you do. But shaming us into suatained action doesn't work. Many have tried. All have failed. We need encouragement. Validation. Affirmation. Inspiration. The stuff we give so freely to others. We do that because IT'S WHAT WE WANT TO RECEIVE. In short - I'd love fewer sighs, more high fives. And again, I appreciate all you do 🙏

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

WOW, That was perfectly said. Thanks for the challenge. I will definitely think about this and how to do more of this.

@muhatbet

Ай бұрын

i was wondering its just me when watching 9s videos feeling that way. yeah, well said

Thank you Tom. Family issues have activated my anger and this video is super helpful to fight for myself and live life

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

You're very welcome

from France and from a 9w1, Dr Hue, I really thank you for your videos. They are sources of inspiration. This is how I see myself as 9 through google translate :-) I think the first problem of 9 is to appreciate being here, incarnated. He must feel his body occupying a space, which will sometimes have to be defended, surrounded by other occupied spaces. Here, it's about feeling present, solidly in balance, with both feet fully on the ground. It is above all accepting the difficulties of incarnation: where am I?, who are my surroundings? What do they expect from me?, what do I expect from them? All this happens eye to eye 9s are good mediators because they are not in the conflict zone, they observe it by flying over it. Seeing both sides of a problem means you don't have to endure it. If we were incarnate, on one knee on the ground, we would only see one side. Mediating is a useful skill but it cannot be the only rule of life. When a person asks a question to a 9 and their response is with a smile "we'll do what you want", it can mean: "I won't really be there, it doesn't really concern me" Procrastination means for a 9 “I’m not there yet for the meeting.” 9 must accept being behind a starting line which is imposed on him and which he must cross while walking in full awareness He is already on a path and his map is not his territory. it is much richer in experiences than the 9 could imagine. It is once on the path that opportunities will present themselves to us. my experience of pilgrimage on the roads to Compostela was a revelation on this subject.

@twlahue

28 күн бұрын

hank you so much for your thoughtful comment and for sharing your experience as a 9w1. I appreciate your insights on the challenges and strengths of being a Type 9, especially the importance of feeling present and grounded. Your reflections on mediation and the balance between observing conflict and actively engaging are particularly enlightening. It's inspiring to hear about your pilgrimage on the roads to Compostela and how it brought clarity to your journey. I'm glad my videos can serve as a source of inspiration for you. Keep embracing your unique path with full awareness and presence.

I put this on in the background not realizing I'd pull up short from what I was doing to stop and be called out about things topical to my life right now. Haven't even finished the video yet, but this is great stuff here!

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Excellent!

Min 14 made me laugh out loud literally because it is assumed that I know what I want 😂. That’s the struggle. Type 9s are not avoiding or “not doing” what it may take to realize our goals it’s that we have no goals. We gave that up long ago when our first born sibling or control freak parent crushed our spirit. That’s where we need to begin when talking about type 9. As a 7 it’s probably very difficult to even consider that. What do you mean you don’t have plans? says the 7. I’m drawn to your videos because I love 7s. My dad is a 7 and is the person I would call first if I won the lottery. He’s happiest when I’m happy. I love that about a 7. When I share a fear like I don’t know what I want there is silence as he processes the idea of me not knowing what I want. It’s actually pretty funny.

@abbeycrouse3020

Ай бұрын

We don’t ignore our needs or blow off investing in activities; we have no needs 😂 and we are perfectly fine with that.

@abbeycrouse3020

Ай бұрын

My slothness gives all the other numbers anxiety because indeed we are not worried. I’m speaking as a person who pays their bills, isn’t morbidly obese, or drunk. If being a sloth means being irresponsible I wholeheartedly disagree. Any number on the enneagram can be a screw up. I’m responsible and stay away from unhealthy others who resent me for not worrying. Maybe I need therapy?

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

​@@abbeycrouse3020 Having read all your comments, I think you might...it sounds like you might be in a lot of pain related to the family stuff that can [break 9s]. If you truly, or even 40%-jokingly, believe that you don't have needs and are OK with that, that's a hard place to be. Eventually your body and mind and soul will start screaming at you to meet the needs they have. Be encouraged - there are amazing beautiful things, not just getting by - that God has for you to join him in, and He will lead you gently, not push you!

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

@@abbeycrouse3020 I also just wanted to add that I've had my whole being screaming at me like I describe. You probably have more stamina or courage or just sheer determination to keep going than I do, but I freely admit that when I'm not doing well I absolutely avoid and blow things off, stop engaging, and can even stop taking good care of myself. With a lot of healing it's much, much better, and I catch it way faster, but the tendencies are still there. If you are having a hard time with some of these things, it's not something to be ashamed about, (although I know it's hard not to be) it's just part of being fallibly human. Psalm 103:13-17 is heartbreakingly beautiful on this point. I'm sorry for all the replies, must be overwhelming. I just kind of see you where I used to be. 💛 -Sarah

@don-eb3fj

Ай бұрын

True about the not having (or being aware of) needs, and the "crushing of the spirit" by a "control freak parent", as well as the not worrying about the things most people are so fixated on. When you learn at an early age that you only matter if you serve someone ELSE'S needs and your survival in both a physical and a psychological sense depend on that, you learn quickly that it's much easier to bear if you have no expectations beyond the crumbs, and soon everything can become unrewarding. But it is also true that the parts of yourself that DID want something, to have a chance to BE, are still imprisoned in the dark forsaken corners of your mind, and they are suffering silently - if you sit very still and quiet, you can hear them sometimes. Eventually, through loss or failure or just the passage of sand through the waist of the hourglass, you WILL be confronted by them, and you WILL feel the full weight of everything they were denied. It adds up to a lot more than you might think. I wish I knew some concrete steps to help light the path out of it, but I'm still fumbling in the dark myself; but I have begun to reacquaint myself with those young aspects of myself and learn the dynamics of my own psychology, finally, at 57. 10 minutes from now I'll be joining an online discussion about establishing intentional communities, something I got sidetracked from and procrastinated about for nearly 2 years now. Better late than never. Hope this helps someone get out of the well.

Great video! A lot that resonated with me there. I know you made a joke about too many metaphors, but as a 9, concrete examples and metaphors really help me.

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

Another metaphor-powered (probably) 9 here - I think one of the appeals is that metaphors, concrete examples, and stories mesh more naturally with seeing multiple perspectives. Sometimes bare truths presented as "that's how it is" make me anxious. I recently Trityped on Katherine Fauvre's online test as 269 lol

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Glad to help

Thank you so so much, this really helps...

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

You're very welcome!

Thank you, Tom! 🍀

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

You're most welcome!

Tom you are the BEST thank you🙏

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Awe... thanks

Excellent video Tom, very well communicated!

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Many thanks!

Thanks Dr.Tom

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

My pleasure!

Disintegrated Sx 3w4 finding this so helpful 😢

@twlahue

20 күн бұрын

Thank you for the feedback, it means a lot to me!

On "you can be the leader" - I genuinely don't want to, and I think many 9s would feel the same. Put me on a board or make me an advisor to a top leader. I will speak up! That's still a great, realistic challenge, and allows 9s to use their interpersonal gifts well so we can influence whole organizational cultures, which is what I see you trying to encourage us toward. Don't put me (us?) at the top! I think it might be time to retire, "you can be the CEO!" when talking to us! Too big and lonely! (although I know no leader works without support and you did mention finding support in big roles)

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Right, I get it.

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

I think my intimidated brain misheard - you said "manager" and "supervisor", not CEO! Still don't want to be those despite what I said!

Hey Dr. Tom your videos are super helpful for me as a SP 9w1 but out of curiosity have you delved into religion as much as the enneagram cause id like to book an appointment with you to help me sort through that side of things but didnt know if that was possible.

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Yes, Absolutely.

Hey I'm 9 and my problem is I see no point in doing anything at all because life has no meaningless and doing something I want is somewhat no different from doing anything else.telling myself any different without evidence is lying to myself. The other is the things I want to do are not accessible in my country and giving me more reason to be stuck.

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Do you really think that life is meaningless?

@BotlheMolelekwa-ju2se

Ай бұрын

@@twlahue yes I do. Only thing keeping me here is I can't end it myself. Gave up trying to talk to anyone because I got tired of getting the same response. Maybe I'm in the wrong place I guess but I feel like it's too late to try to fix a whole lot of foundation problems that makes me. 🤔🤷

It's my responsibility and personal obligation to right wrongs in this world! .. but to start such a venture by disturbing the sleeping kitty in my lap??

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Funny

Isn’t God in charge?

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

Yes, and He wants us to show up and participate - I think the "who's in charge" is more about not letting others, or a void of apathy, take _my _ place in my life. Not me taking God's place.

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Absolutely

@WackadoodleMalarkey

Ай бұрын

Godzilla just wants a catnap, but events and characters conspire otherwise..

I’m turning this off. I love your videos but you are so off the mark on this one. Type 9s are the ones according to all the books who show up more effectively in times of change, death of a loved one, moving etc… we are more able than most to go with change although we don’t especially enjoy change but who the hell does? And yes I am waiting for Gods guidance.

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

You're probably a healthy 9 and have already done the work/gone through the journey to "[own your life]" as the title says! we're definitely action-oriented and extremely flexible when healthy - pretty much the best of the bunch IMO! :D Don't know if you'v seen Dr. LaHue's 100-acre Woods video - love that one!

@twlahue

Ай бұрын

Sorry that this video did not "hit the mark" for you...

@WackadoodleMalarkey

Ай бұрын

​@@atypicalgeek88 Honor Guard or Death Guard. Both champions in their respective domains, but the former is Effervescence incarnate, and the latter is Effectiveness incarnate. In one very humble kitty's opinion.

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

@@WackadoodleMalarkey interesting! Can you say more about this? Are you comparing unhealthy (effervescence)/healthy (effectiveness)? What does it mean to be effervescence? And death guard?

@atypicalgeek88

Ай бұрын

@@WackadoodleMalarkey I had these reversed. So actually: Honour guard=effervescence=healthy -honouring ourselves = letting our natural selves sparkle and bubble up how they do, which is beautiful? Death guard=unhealthy= overprioritizing effectiveness=not honouring ourselves? Let me know!