Today on "Orlando Bloom cannot act"

@Jasper_Silva

Ай бұрын

His hair does a lot of the acting for him in this one.

@trajanthegreat2928

Ай бұрын

"If we just have his face blurred you can't tell"

@mykr0324

Ай бұрын

Stares blankly into the distance, "what does your musketeer eye see?"

@Bthakilla4rilla

Ай бұрын

He can shout though!

This movie ONLY cost 75m. Look at how much you can do with 75. For real sets, costumes, and fight choreography, I think it's actually pretty good work. If Disney made this, it would have cost 225m and been 90% cgi.

@camillecunningham7348

Ай бұрын

90% most likely BAD cgi

@Jasper_Silva

Ай бұрын

And Mila Jovovich woulda been the main character.

@user-xx6vy9ri8p

Ай бұрын

@@camillecunningham7348 Well CGI in this wasn't great but it's 2011...

@Pink.andahalf

Ай бұрын

Solid point. Nobody will learn that lesson, but you are correct.

@Bthakilla4rilla

Ай бұрын

@@Jasper_Silva No, if it was Disney, some young-ish explicitly non Caucasian woman in her mid 20s would've been been the main character, and she'd be clowning on all the large men who would look as if they could crush her like a styrofoam cup.

I didn't even know a _Three Muskateers_ was made with Orlando Bloom because the 1973 two-parter is unequivocally the best

@bvdemier1

Ай бұрын

while the 1973 one has a special place for me.(shine one Oliver Reed, ya crazy bastard), can i reccomend the 2023 The Three Musketeers: D'Artagnan? It is pretty nice

@canaldecasta

Ай бұрын

Mosqueperros>>>

@betterbee1304

Ай бұрын

Thank you. ❤

@lukew6725

Ай бұрын

I can't stand how in that movie they go out of their way to use their swords as little as possible in the fight scenes, it's so stupid. 😂

@EA_Kar

Ай бұрын

finally saw the 1973 one a month back, solid~

Just pointing it out....Orlando Bloom IS, in fact, in Blackhawk Down. Fingers crossed we get an EFAP of it boys!

@lordofthepizzapie9319

Ай бұрын

Only if Sargon is on, his disdain for Bloom adds years to my life.

@beowulfsrevenge4369

Ай бұрын

Not for very long. But it still counts, and Blackhawk Down is definitely a war movie.

@XTRaptor

Ай бұрын

It’s more modern day but I too hope they do black hawk down. The bloom meme is just the cherry on top.

@HortonSalm

Ай бұрын

The funniest scene in the movie is Legolas and Obi-Wan doing horrible American accents at each other. When they're on screen with real Americans, it's not so bad, but their minor faults build on each other. Brit director definitely didn't help.

@SumDumGy

Ай бұрын

I remember seeing this shortly after it came out on disc. I do not remember actually watching it. I wish I had as much fun as you chaps did though.

MauLer: You know what, Sargon? She doesn't dress up for your approval, ok? Sargon: "I didn't say she did; I was just being misogynist" This caught me completely off guard.

The Orlando Bloom marathon at least has LOTR as the palette cleanser

@Jasper_Silva

Ай бұрын

Orlando Bloom was perfect casting in LOTR for the more silent and least expressive character in the party.

@mykr0324

Ай бұрын

​@@Jasper_Silvathis haha. Couldn't have worked better in that. He was so lucky getting that role

@fakecubed

19 күн бұрын

I genuinely like him in the Pirates movies as well.

EFAP definitely needs to do Wild Wild West!

@MediumRareOpinions

Ай бұрын

Giant Mechanical Spider ✅ I'm sold.

The fact this didnt get a sequel is infuriating. Give me three of these instead of 12 Resident Evils.

@NATESUCKSATGAMING

Ай бұрын

Actually this is a prequel to the resident evil movies. 😂

@user-xx6vy9ri8p

Ай бұрын

They can still film "20 years later" with these actors.

@ObsidianBehemoth

Ай бұрын

Think of the rich EFAP content to be had with 12 Resident Evils.

@jonbaxter2254

Ай бұрын

I unironically believe this.

@krishnakantbhatt9947

Ай бұрын

Make 3+ of these instead of Disney movies

My dumb ass thought this was the one with Keifer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, and Tim Curry from like the '90s.

@chrism5206

Ай бұрын

Same. Now I am at once thrilled and dejected.

@shakezoola1114

Ай бұрын

Yeah I was hoping the title just meant Bloom was some kid in the background. They'd probably have more fun and it sounds like at least Mauler hasn't seen it.

@elizzyh2020

Ай бұрын

I love that one! It's one I watched as a kid so it definitely has a nostalgia boost.

@realshompa

Ай бұрын

Tim Curry is wonderful in that movie. A national treasure.

@franciszaldivar337

Ай бұрын

@@realshompa yeah he's one of those actors that can play an entertaining villain

I fucking love this movie. It's my ultimate guilty pleasure. I ADORE the over-the-top costumes and general ridiculousness.

@beowulfsrevenge4369

Ай бұрын

The costumes are great!

@Jasper_Silva

Ай бұрын

Legit enjoyable bad movie. Same pedigree as the first Mortal Kombat movie, imo. I feel like Paul W S Anderson kinda KNOWS he's bad at it and he leans in on it in a way that's probably not as easy to do as people realize.

@doolicious

Ай бұрын

the epitome of “charmingly bad”

@marcogenovesi8570

Ай бұрын

yeah loved it too, gotta steampunk that shizz

@jonbaxter2254

Ай бұрын

@@beowulfsrevenge4369 Costumes and sets are incredible!

Funny that no on mention Mickey Donald and Goofy the three musketeers but that’s me though

The only content warnings should be for appearances of James Corden

@SuperMegaGaylord

Ай бұрын

We need a James Corden amber alert to warn us when he's in public

It's weird that Shad thought he needed a megaphone AND a microphone for this one.

@first-last311

Ай бұрын

He's talking with his mic in his mouth. Did no one notice this during recording or editing?

@Jasper_Silva

Ай бұрын

He's being period accurate and using a 17th century microphone to record.

@Charizardlison

Ай бұрын

using a mic the correct way would be too much agenda driven wokeness for him

Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, and Martin Short are my Three Musketeers. Right arm, Left Arm, Hips, Thrust, “Hah”!

I like how Feloni took inspiration for Thrawns Star Destroyer prostate exam from the air balloon and the Notre Dame.

@jonbaxter2254

Ай бұрын

Truly, Thrawn is our generations James Corden

@NicTheGreek1979

Ай бұрын

@@jonbaxter2254 oh god. What did the bluebo thraggins do to deserve that?!! 🤣🤣🤣

*This gives me hard League of Extraordinary Gentlemen vibes.* Yeah, you forgot about that movie didn’t you? “What is that contraption?” “I call it… an automoBEEEEELLLL.”

They really need to do a Musketeers movies arc.

@user-xx6vy9ri8p

Ай бұрын

There are 150 adaptations in total...

@EpicJasonX9000

Ай бұрын

@@user-xx6vy9ri8p ok, then an arc of the more recognizable ones. Or at least the more popular versions.

The 1993 Disney version is by far my favorite. Tim Curry as Cardinal Richelieu FTW!

@realshompa

Ай бұрын

The first scene. In the cardinal's personal, evil, dungeon. Some prisoner begs for mercy in the name of God the Cardinal. "oh... in the name of God" and have the prisoner killed. "I want those Musketeers, not excuses".

@momozappa3118

Ай бұрын

You are not alone, hands down my favorite!!!

I love the fact Orlandos character at the end has a massive fleet of ships and air ships and no one, not even the Cardinal, found out. Somehow a massive fleet appears and no one had records of it being built in ports, of men and crew being assembled and hired, provisions being delivered or material being transported, nor the funds for all of that, which would be millions if not billions of currency.

In the books all the musketeers die unimportantly, D'Artanigon (sp) dies decades later the second he becomes field marshal by a canon ball (which is considered the best possible death as he is happy and dies before bad things happen), the Cardinal convinces D'Artanigon he's right about France winning, and then France builds its empire. The one eyed character and Milady are both killed though.

Am I mad, but I really like the world in this film. Not quite steampunk, bit before. Folkpunk? With all the mad tech

@MediumRareOpinions

Ай бұрын

Sailpunk has been floated before. As its so often associated with the flying sailing ships.

@jonbaxter2254

Ай бұрын

@@MediumRareOpinions Great name, love it. That zeppelin in the last third of the movie was so awesome.

@aesiddoway

Ай бұрын

DaVinci punk maybe?

@doopdoopdopdop7424

Ай бұрын

Clockpunk.

@trygveplaustrum4634

Ай бұрын

Pike-and-Shot-punk.

It's nice to see Smiler again.

@sparkypack

Ай бұрын

long lost but not forgotten

Cardinal Richelieu, in real life, was the man who invented the butter knife.

@marcogenovesi8570

Ай бұрын

truly a saviour of all time

@lordofthepizzapie9319

Ай бұрын

"I feel uneven, sort of lumpy, like butter without a butterknife" - Richbo Baggins

@randommulato8871

Ай бұрын

Wow what a genius "What if we made a shitty knife that's useless for most things and we use it exclusively to do only one of the things other kitchen knives can do?". Now I think this movie's version of him seems pretty Historically accurate lol

@robertlewis6915

Ай бұрын

Also helped kill a lot of Huguenots, if I remember rightly.

@marcogenovesi8570

Ай бұрын

@@robertlewis6915 is french on french crime really a crime though?

I'll never tire of Mauler referencing 'Alias' as someone who watched it live and was probably 6 when it came out. It's very interesting to have seen JJ and Bad Robot's consistency with where their writing went off the rails. The Rombaldi prophecy stuff was exactly when my families and main stream interest seemed to die down. Alias was a massive show at the time, one episode premiered right after the Super Bowl in America, and even back then you can see the same shortcomings in the writing. JJ built an amazing career in Hollywood off of being pretty competent at writing interesting, approachable beginnings/season 1's.

God damn is this movie incredible. I love the part where they start the movie establishing the unique straight-up superpowers of each of the three musketeers, like the diving guy and the strong enough to destroy a brick wall by yanking an iron chain guy, and then none of them ever once use those powers in the entire rest of the movie. It shouldn't have gotten a sequel, it should have gotten a thousand.

I love Carl always going ham on Orlando Bloom. And i guess this was recorded before Ray Stevenson passed. RIP Ray, the best Punisher.

D'artagnan died on the way to his home planet.

My favorite part is when Orlando said “it’s Bloomin’ Time” and proceeded to bloom all over the place. You may roast me for my shit humor in the comments below. Thank you EFAP for this quality birthday present!

@hyperbolicninja

Ай бұрын

Truly this comment is a comment of our time. As Bigideas would say "Thus was this the only thing that brought joy to mine life"

@markcoroneos7811

Ай бұрын

You get a pass 😉

@Seomus

Ай бұрын

"He's blooming! He's blooming!" Grace Randall, probably.

@SuperMegaGaylord

Ай бұрын

I remember being at a restaurant with Orlando Bloom. He was really nice, and all went well, I shook his hand, made a legolas joke, he laughed, and we sat at opposite ends of the restaurant. It was great until the server came up and asked if I'd like an appetizer. I ordered the blooming onion, and he popped up right next to me and said, "Did somebody say blooming onion?!" And the server looked at me with sheer terror, mouthing the words, 'Sir what have you done?' Orlando pulled an onion out of thin air and started stripping, getting giddy and excited, before dumping lube all over himself. And I sh!t you not, he climbed inside of this regular sized onion, until it was just his tiny head poking out, before saying, "It's Bloom in onion time!" I would've been disturbed, but I was still waiting for my metric ton of shrooms to kick in, and it was just nice to see him emote more than I'd ever seen before. Happy Birthday man

@MediumRareOpinions

Ай бұрын

​@@SuperMegaGaylord well that story took a turn

I normally enjoy the EFAP movies just for the commentary. But these Orlando Bloom installments have been a struggle for me to finish, even with the hilarity of the fellas😂

One does not simply walk into floordoor

EFAP doing the Underworld movies when?

I've been having a rough go of it. This upload has made my day. Thank you.

@samuraijaco1

Ай бұрын

Sorry to hear that, dude! Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

@Satus21

Ай бұрын

Stay strong brother

@reginlief1

Ай бұрын

Just think… at least you’re not James Cordon!

7:35 it actually started with him saying "No" to Tarantino for the role as Django, because he was not willing to do the upside-down-naked scene. He was Tarantinos first pick, Foxx only his 2nd. From that on he went downhill imo.

My only memory of “The Man in the Iron Mask” is Leonardo DiCaprio screaming “Wear it till you love it!” at his twin brother and everyone in my family bursting into hysterics. That, and the titular characters charging down a narrow hall whilst receiving a full volley of firearms, then when the smoke clears the other side stares at them like “How the fuck are you still alive?” and they stare back like “How the fuck are we alive, actually?” In any event, I think it was an amusing watch.

Sad that there was no mention of the 1948 Three Musketeers with Gene Kelly. Such a delightful movie.

@azh698

Ай бұрын

Watched it a month ago! Very nice, and quite accurate to the story as well!

90's Three Musketeers with Oliver Platt, Chris O'Donnell, Kiefer Southerland and Charlie Sheen is the best, hands down. Sorry, not sorry

@johnjohntenton2141

Ай бұрын

Although it is not exactly a sequel, "The Man in the Iron Mask" with an older Three Musketeers, is great as well.

@kingofgames1220

Ай бұрын

I see you are also folk of culture.

@hariman7727

Ай бұрын

That one I remember.

@nhagan001

Ай бұрын

@@johnjohntenton2141thank you for mentioning that one. When I was trying to look it up, of course I couldn’t find it because of the title. Thought I was going crazy, imagining a whole nother 3 musketeers movie.

@nightking0130

Ай бұрын

Actually I think the richard lester three musketeers movie is the best arguably. Its the most faithful adaptation though the 1993 oliver platt one is childhood favorite of mine and i would watch any day.

That Rags-free Scargiver coverage was the best thing ever. Ever consider a premium version of EFAP where we can pay to have Rags digitally removed? I would seriously consider subscribing to that for a modest monthly fee.

20:39. Shad losing it is GOLD!

@fanboyhex1555

17 күн бұрын

🤣

Maybe next time, have Shad on when he's not working drive-thru.

@akashajones6079

Ай бұрын

Or better yet, not at all.

@sparkypack

Ай бұрын

mah ears 😢👂

@canderoussnurd4265

Ай бұрын

@@akashajones6079you insult the sword man! I spit in your general direction probably………

@AlphariusandOmegon

Ай бұрын

Its not shad its the tin can on a string he is using as a microphone.

The fact this movie literally copies Resident Evil's laser hallway scene in a historic setting in one of its opening scenes, with the same actress, you just know this is a good watch.

This film was over the top AND THEN an airship showed up :) What a fun thing.

9:34 You can hear the “hon hon hon” in their laughter. This movie is turning them French!

I unironically love this cheesy ass movie, Percy Jackson slaps in it man, I miss these kinds of films.

This movie would be so much better without James Corden

@sweetpeaches6955

Ай бұрын

And lame main character

@randommulato8871

Ай бұрын

A comic relief who makes the scenes he's in LESS funny? What a novel idea!

@user-xx6vy9ri8p

Ай бұрын

He is barely in it

@KelShu

Ай бұрын

@@user-xx6vy9ri8p Which is more than enough

@The1337guy1

Ай бұрын

@@user-xx6vy9ri8p He's still right.

Bruh they recognized Titus Pullo in this movie, but didn't recognize Lucius Vorenus being an absolute badass in Kingdom of Heaven!

@jacklang3314

Ай бұрын

Poor Vorenus.

@thorinparbst9365

Ай бұрын

I know right! They were even praising his war hammer skills but didn't recognize him. I figured Drinker would have recognized him from Dog Soldiers...

I too enjoy Ray Stevenson in everything he's in. He played a great Blackbeard in Black Sails.

I also used to like The Musketeers (2014) show on BBC.

oh wow, i don't think i'ver ever seen this version of The Three Musketeers before. I honestly enjoyed this more than i expected going in. if only there was a plot twist reveal that the whole movie was a fever dream the main character boy was having as he's recovering from the gunshot wound he got at the start. The only things i disliked in this movie were the main character boy, James Corden and that mads Mikkelsen died at the end. i'd totally accept a post-ending scene showing he survived somehow.

Wish they did man in the iron mask , pretty good .

Oh wow! I watched the movie in the exact same German theater they watched it lol

The edits are awesome as usual, keep up the great work.

@sparkypack

Ай бұрын

Goger

58:05 "Why are there so many candles in the foreground" I have a theory: They placed that many candles to try and create the lighting effect of an open fire/torchlight/whatever artistic effect you'd call 'flame lighting', without actually needing a bonfire on set. They were in the foreground to light the characters faces from the camera side, with the intention of shooting over them. Then either by 'we'll crop it in post for the release version' laziness or Anderson deciding "ah, hell, that looks great, get that in the shot actually", or both, boom. It's in the final film.

The man in the iron mask, is my favorite depiction of the three musketeer. Leo was a bit cringe in that movie though

@whyarealltaken

Ай бұрын

I thought that was what they were watching tbh

@Jasper_Silva

Ай бұрын

He was still old pretty boy Leo, but he did a pretty decent job being the evil twin imo. And yeah, the movie was great!

@giulizpaviz6381

Ай бұрын

What's funny is that he got the Rasperry Award for worst screen couple (with himself)

@jackchipper7458

Ай бұрын

@@giulizpaviz6381 Oof

@jackchipper7458

Ай бұрын

@@Jasper_Silva I liked him more as the nice twin, however I guess it’s his American accent what ruined it, everyone else had a broken French accent

This movie looks like it would’ve been a blast to be in. “You’re telling me I get to dick around with swords, not give a fuck, AND get paid millions of dollars at the same time? Sign me up!”

Orlando Blooming Onion Arc

Fun fact: Constance (the blonde love interest) is played by Maxwell Lord’s assistant in “Wonder Woman 1984”.

I'm just going to say that the spanish translation of "Dogtanian and the three muskehounds" absolutely demolishes the english one. It's called "Dartacan y los tres mosqueperros", both "can" and "perros" meaning dog while maintaining the sounds of the words almost perfectly. Inspired localization. Great series, blast from the past.

Well, I wouldn't give WS Anderson money to make sequels, but I would definitely watch them.

This movie has flying air ships, Resident Evil lady doing kung-fu, musketeers taking on small army of dudes, sword fight on top of Notre Dame with thunderstorm in the background yet somehow this is still not the most ridiculous Three Musketeers film ; that would be D'Artagnan from 2001 with it's ridiculous kung-fu fight choreography 😅 Director of that film really had to be in love with "Crouching tiger, hidden dragon" even if over the top, eastern esthetics fits European context of the story like high high heels fits on a pig... 😉On the other hand "Man in the iron mask" from 1998 is unironically good! So, I still would prefer to watch The Three Musketeers with Bloom -at least this film try to follow plot of Duma's novel... Maybe with less Milla Jovovich - is it the only reason that she made a career is because she married somewhat popular director? I mean she have pretty face but other than that? Her acting is mediocre at best and in chest area she is like anti-Sydney Sweeney 😉 so I never got why Milla was so popular ?

@dragonknightleader1

Ай бұрын

She was pretty good in Fifth Element, Zoolander, and Dodgeball back when she had to act. It's after the Anderson movies does she get typecast into stoic action lady. I don't remember if Anderson directed Ultraviolet, but she's the same character in that.

Woah, we are releasing this today?

I laughed at how stupid this movie was even as a kid. That said, that last shot with ships and zeppelines...sure is stylish.

As someone who grew up on _Sid Meier's Civilization,_ I only knew Musketeers as someone who uses a gun.

Gosh, I vaguely remember watching this movie. You’d think a film this outlandish would leave a more lasting impression.

I remember watch this shortly after it came out on disc. I do not remember actually watching it though. I wish I had as much fun with it as you chaps.

This was such fun, i needed this ^.-.^

I just watched this recently hell yeah 😆this EFAP will surely get me through my shift. Bless the fappers for coming through 🙌🏼

Guys, at 36:36 , this aint a built "set", this is Würzburg palace, it actually looks like that (+ some wall carpets), been there around christmas. Saves a lot of money if don`t have to build a set :P

9:41 That's some Van Helsing gun!

1:17:56 Was that a piece of Out There from Hunchback of Notredame that I heard? 😂 Well played.

Always good to see Sargon hanging out with the longmen

The Flordor... The Frenchin' Venchin.

Thank you for telling me about Muskethounds!

This movie is great, i genuinely enjoyed it when i saw it for the first time YEARS after it came out, with expectations better informed

I love this 😂😂😂 and I love see you guys do king Arthur film by years 😂😂

I had no idea this movie existed. Now I wish I _still_ didn't know it existed.

"No one simply walks through the Floordoor." - Boromis Frenchman

Robin hood: prince of thieves and The Three musketeers (1993) would be a great double feature

How have i never heard of this movie? (Well, this version of it, anyway)

I think the lads all enjoyed this film a whole lot more than they thought they would.

My headcanon is that this and Wild Wild West are part of the same universe/timeline.

The brilliance of the Ghost Leonidas @ 33:09! God bless the editors!

it's been forever since I read the books but the original "d'Artangan Romances" by Alexander Dumas ( the three musketeers, twenty years later, and The Vicomte of Bragelonne) are following d'Artangan over the course of his career, since the first book is him post training learning to actually be a musketeer from the three and seeing their comradery he, as the movies have often shown, doesn't truly become a musketeer until the end after being trained by the famous trio. Also the the third book The Vicomte of Bragelonne is often broken into three parts, (The Vicomte of Bragelonne, Louise de la Valliere, and The Man In The Iron Mask)

This was my favorite war arc EFAP so far. I totally forgot about this film 😂 But I had a big dopey grin through this whole video reliving the film

Great job groger

Is Shad using a gramophone as a mic?

I have these on in the background when I’m doing something boring like paying bills or cleaning. ❤ em.

All things considered, this is actually surprisingly faithful to the book. I haven't done a full accounting yet, but it might (just) beat out the recent French duology.

The 90s muskateers was one of the first movies i remember watching as a kid. Its one of my absolute favorites. The tom and jerry mousekateers is a close 2nd

“Hi, my name’s Shad, Welcome to McDonald’s, may I take your order?”

"How realistic you want this movie to be?" "PEOPLE OF THE FRANCE! DO NOT INTERFERE! OUR INTENTIONS ARE PEACEFUL! WE ARE THE BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL!"

1:16:55 So, after the Notre Dame roof was set on fire, I don’t think you can make this joke nowadays, lol.

I thought this was gonna be a series about movie and History youtubers commenting on curiosities and inaccuracies in Historic war movies, but so far it turned out to be subjecting poor Sargon to all the facets of Orlando Bloom's acting, which is frankly way better lol

"What must the peasants be thinking?" *peasant looks up at air ship* "Oh..Ze king built anozer Airship, must be a Saturday, musn't forget to go to church tomorrow"

The Batwoman stuff at the end of each war arc is so funny pls keep it up

Oh this is a new video! The mention of Kingdom of Heaven made me realise. I missed Troy

Was so disappointed it didn't have a sequel

@sparkypack

Ай бұрын

Especially after the airship armada end scene.

this was awesome boys love Efap movies

I remember turning this movie off at this moment in the movie 12:32 exactly lol. so bad

more of this kind of movies plz boys this was great ,

❤😂❤ I seem to remember watching this movie when I was much younger and I suspect I was just too immature to appreciate it! Looks like it's got that Van Helsing magic~