I am a taxi driver. I picked up a passenger once and he had the same sense of humour as Eddie.I was in bits, i could have driven him around all night for no fare. Eddie is one of our great comedians.

@jerradmarsan2220

11 ай бұрын

She's brilliant, and I hope to meet her one day. I imagine she'd be brilliant to go drinking with.

@mikewilson8513

11 ай бұрын

@@jerradmarsan2220 HE is brilliant. HE has changed HIS name, not HIS sex

@Meisha-san

11 ай бұрын

The last I remember, Eddie identified as a transvestite. Just clothes and make-up - no changes to any genitalia.

@mikewilson8513

11 ай бұрын

@@Meisha-san Correct.

@demirg1421

11 ай бұрын

No, he's a she now. Very funny human nontheless.

"folks 'round here aren't from 'round here - we're from Devon!" is probably the most obscure quote i pull out most frequently. agatha tabitha and bagatha also feature prominently. LOVE this.

@GizmoOnyett

3 жыл бұрын

Speaking as a Devonian, I can concur that the county's biggest export is bearded locals to Transylvania.

@tomtalks23

2 жыл бұрын

I say "Folks round here aren't from round here!" all the damn time and people look at me like I'm mad.

@billhawkins192

2 жыл бұрын

This was a decade ago. But I love you.

@sirdetmist3204

2 жыл бұрын

So do I.

@margomckaine78

Ай бұрын

Who is agatha tabitha and bagatha? I love Izzard and have seen many of his routines, but not any including agatha tabitha and bagatha.

Eddie Izzard's excuses are the best I've ever heard, "My cat's exploded" "My grandma's on fire" and my absolute favorite, "I was dead at the time!"

@MissHMSilk

5 жыл бұрын

“And this is all true...” 😉😆

@rabbit0664

5 жыл бұрын

Same

@jayoliver3734

5 жыл бұрын

I was on the moon...with Steve...

@UncleHappy5

5 жыл бұрын

"I've got scurvy." "I've got a bad leg, actually." "Mum's just got out of prison."

@RaskolnikoffAnna

5 жыл бұрын

It reminds me of how Jim Morrison was accused at school for running on stairs he was not supposed to. His reply: I could not run on those stairs, cause as you can see I have no legs.

What I LOVE about Eddie’s beginning to his show is, he’ll just walk on and say......em, moths! Then he goes into his repertoire. No asking the audience how they’re doing etc, just.....em moths!🤣🤣🤣

Eddie Izzard is a comic genius, a world-wise polyglot, and a charming visionary entertainer.

@vardellsfolly5200

8 жыл бұрын

Brent Reid ..and an executive transvestite..!

@brentpreid

8 жыл бұрын

Λαυρέντιος Ψαροκάηκας un travesti executif!

@vardellsfolly5200

8 жыл бұрын

+Brent Reid VERY executif..!!

@nDndAd

8 жыл бұрын

+Brent Reid Still can only do two impressions though-Connery and Mason. lol For what it's worth though, he does them quite well. ;D

@nDndAd

8 жыл бұрын

navythriller Apparently I did(forget). lol

This is what I love about Eddie Izzard: he'll be talking about James Mason and Dracula for a while, and he'll just abandon it in the middle of a story or something to talk about forests and axe murderers and cellists.

@allybally0021

9 жыл бұрын

Jodabomb24 or how great the Labour Party are.

@allybally0021

8 жыл бұрын

***** Fuck q Ha ha!

@allybally0021

8 жыл бұрын

***** Thanks.

@allybally0021

8 жыл бұрын

***** Your comments show someone definitely not arrogant. Hang on... You are just a penis.

@allybally0021

8 жыл бұрын

***** Well you admit being a PENIS! ...LOL

"Oh, oh it is an ax murderer! IT IIIIS! We weren't sure."

@BFagan

8 жыл бұрын

+Alison Montgomery "We thought you were a badger, but you're an axe murderer..." **splat** lmao

@PaulLyndeBlue

6 жыл бұрын

lol this is/was a killer joke! (pun intended!) **shouts YEAAAAHHH!**

“The house that jack built” the foreshadowing is real

@connor48880

3 жыл бұрын

I thought so too I hope Matt Dillon hears this

@moxxie9707

3 жыл бұрын

@@connor48880 great movie. Weird, I watched it today and for no reason decided Eddie's stand up. I was beginning to wonder if it was remake considering how old that bit is

And little did Eddie know that "The House that Jack Built" would eventually become a full-fledged horror movie!

@estebanildivino3061

Жыл бұрын

Hi, i need help about that, can someone help me ? I am french, I'm trying to understand what "The house that Jack built" is. Because : it's a 2018 Lars Von Trier movie. BUT, it is also a song from Metallica around 1996. And I am here because I'm a huge Izzard fan, and I remembered this sketch. When I google "the house that Jack built", all I find is the 2018 movie (except if I add "Metallica") So : WHAT DOES IT MEAN ? Where and when is it originaly from ? Why do Eddie use it in this sketch ?

@AurumEtAes

Жыл бұрын

@@estebanildivino3061 Eddie was riffing on stereotypical classic British horror movie titles like The House That Dripped Blood (1971). ‘House that Jack built’ is a turn of phrase that means a building is shoddily constructed. This is the House that Jack Built is a famous nursery rhyme first published in 1755, but believed to be much older

@estebanildivino3061

Жыл бұрын

@@AurumEtAes ty very much !!!

@GirlPlastix

3 күн бұрын

There's a 1990s horror novel by Graham Masterton called 'The House that Jack Built'. The opening chapter is NOT for the squeamish....

_"I am Dracula! I am here! Hahaha!"_ _"You're in a trolley, mate."_ _"Yes well there was a chainsaw, you see..."_

I've heard this bit a thousand times on my iPod, so trippy to see him onstage performing it. Some of it was exactly as I had pictured. He's easily one of the best comics alive.

Eddie Izzard, you are forbidden to ever die. Whether it be by old age or by an axe murderer/badger.

@tobietera

3 жыл бұрын

Eddie, thankfully, will never die as he will always choose the cake option.

@suecastillo4056

3 жыл бұрын

@@tobietera brilliant! Wish I’d thought of that...😂😂🤣🤣🤪🙋‍♀️❣️

@tobietera

3 жыл бұрын

@@suecastillo4056 - I'm glad you appreciated my joke even if nobody else did 😁

@suecastillo4056

3 жыл бұрын

@@tobietera I think you have to be a real fan and know his comedy to get it... I thought it was great you said that!!!😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🙋‍♀️

I've come back to this routine over and over again just for that part that goes "And they never listen to the music, do they?"

@annaf.w.5154

Жыл бұрын

Same

Surely a low powered vampire is just a goth teenager

@JaneDoe-ci3gj

4 жыл бұрын

Best comment😂👍

@peppat27

4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@sarina76667

3 жыл бұрын

So you’ve met my cat. When he doesn’t get his way, he sits himself in a dark far corner and stares the death glare at you from across the room. We always picture My Chemical Romance playing in the background while he’s pouting in his corner.

@2degucitas

3 жыл бұрын

A Tim Burton goth

LOL "Piss off, you cellist!"

I’d totally watch a movie called ‘The Thing That Came From Somewhere’.

Stake in the middle is such a genius line

@pringlebatch

2 жыл бұрын

Still dying to know what the vampire-death dessert would be

“ooh aar folks from round ‘ere ain’t from round ‘ere”

Sign of the cross to you too mate

0:10 And here I am, 3am UK time, watching KZread videos...except I get to watch some of the best entertainment of all time. Thank you for making our lives better, Mr Izzard! Especially for the people who work at rather strange hours like me. :)

Lolz 'it is an axe murderer we weren't sure' that has me in stitches every time

"I am Dracula. I got this thing on my watch." Love it.

@theemmjay5130

2 жыл бұрын

I would love to see a movie with Dracula as a James Bond-style superspy.

You are a comedic iconic genius, Eddie.

folks 'round here are not from 'round here!!

Agatha, Tabatha and Bagatha

@2degucitas

3 жыл бұрын

Sabatha is PISSED at not being included.

@SilverSpade92

2 жыл бұрын

Bagstha’s a bit weird, but there you go.

I'd be quite cross if my steak came before my garlic bread.

The bit about vampires being able to go out in the daytime but that their powers are weak is actually in the text. I don't know where Stoker got it, but it's there.

@TallSilentGuy

5 жыл бұрын

Well at least they don't sparkle!

OMG! Every time I see him, I remember how much I love him!

Here I am watching this in 2015 & splitting my sides. Absolute genius!

@Smithjones12

7 жыл бұрын

my favourite out of all his live videos

Really interesting story (or at least I think so): “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” by Francis Ford Coppola actually was accurate to the book, in which vampires could travel by day, but at reduced powers. In fact, the whole myth about vampires being unable to stay out after dawn comes from the movie “Nosferatu” (1922). “Nosferatu” was an unlicensed adaptation of the book Dracula, and in an attempt to skirt the copyright they changed the ending to have Nosferatu die by exposure to sunlight. A German court ruled in favor of Bram Stoker’s widow, however, and all copies of the movie were ordered destroyed. The surviving copies were those that were hidden away and escaped the purge.

"Why don't they just listen to the music" haha

I saw him do this routine and I loved the part where he starts riffing on how Dracula films are made in Yorkshire.

Vampires could go out during the day in Bram Stoker's book. It was FW Murnau's film Nosferatu that probably started the trope of them being killed by exposure to sunlight. There was a horror film from 2000 based on the making of Nosferatu, called Shadow of the Vampire, which starred John Malkovich, Willem Dafoe and Eddie Izzard.

@Rev_Oir

Жыл бұрын

IZZARD WAS IN THAT?!?!?!?

@morellawalker373

Жыл бұрын

@@Rev_Oir yes he played the jonathan harker character...

@leecourtney8443

Жыл бұрын

Shadow of the Vampire is incredible! One of my favorite movies and possibly my favorite Eddie Izzard movie role. His eyes are so perfect for a silent film actor.

@ForteanEnquirer

8 ай бұрын

Is it a straight drama or a comedy film ?

@dlee827

8 ай бұрын

@@ForteanEnquirer A mix of both really.

Looks like hell on toast. I have used that so many times through my life since I first saw this. So many silly catchphrases that I use because of you Eddie. Love it. Oh and if you haven’t seen the Italian Job then none of that will make any sense, but then if you haven’t seen it, you haven’t lived.

I love this especially for the part where I actually ALSO used to watch British TV- quite possibly during this exact era he's talking about, between the hours of 12 and 4am. One night I watched the start of this exact Hammer horror film that he is talking about, featuring an incredibly naive James Mason character and even more naive assorted blonde women whose names may well have ended 'tha'. His description of this film is wholly accurate.

@monkey-trial...6578

5 жыл бұрын

Eddie izzard for prime minister!

I've found you 5 hours ago. You're amazing! I can't stop watching this. Thank you! ❤️ Tropical vibes from Brazil. (Born in the wrong country this lifetime. Next one... We'll be closer unless you decide to go to another country. Please don't! 😂

So funny and intelligent , love him. And his James Mason is awesome, love it xD

The professor having led this group into the castle states: " I've had a good run, best of luck to you all." As he meanders towards his eventual demise. Leaving the group to conversate about life and poetic Justice and the like, as they are then undone by horrible death. End scene.

Dunno if anyone else has mentioned this already, but Eddie Izzard was in a vampire movie called 'Shadow Of The Vampire' nearly twenty years ago. He didn't play the vampire, but he was pretty good nonetheless. The rest of the film wasn't half bad either.

'Piss off ya cellists!'

@Smithjones12

6 жыл бұрын

Kristiano El Reesio The bridge has been blown up by squirrels :)

Pretty sure I saw this back in the day... Still gold

The only clips I've ever seen of Eddie Izard were from Dress To Kill. It's so strange to see him not dressed like that. xD

eddie izzard's the only comedian who has me in tears...bloody legend!

Tim Minchin. he is fantabulos :) my favourite is "if you open your mind too much your brain will fall out". I highly recommend to watch that version where he talks about Tony the Fish before playing the song

@sk8rpunkbarbie

6 жыл бұрын

if you open your mind too much your brain will fall out I so need to remember that line!!!

If I'm ever having a bad day, or someone's died, I just watch Eddie Izzard and I instantly think, "Wow, he can create better makeup than I, and he also coordinates colors and fabrics well... I need to ask him for lessons the next time I see him out somewhere..." Which will be never because I'm a Yank that lives in Midwest America and will not be anywhere near the Thames anytime soon...but yes, his comedy is amazing.

@daniellechassang4325

8 жыл бұрын

dark, I'm in Florida and I feel the same way. he's always elegant and well dressed, and if you watch, he is extremely gracefully. and exceptionally funny and witty!

@dokbob5795

7 жыл бұрын

And he runs Marathons.

@liesheal

5 жыл бұрын

Rose Srphm I like self deprecating chicks

"It is an axemurderer! I thought you were a badger!" :DD

His stories play out like a Monty Python sketch

Was that really a Dracula and Sean Connery impression at the same time??? Amazing!

At 6:45 Eddie shows true genius, recovering nicely when the joke failed to get a laugh by turning that into a joke in itself.

Been watching your comedy for years, its the funniest thing out there. Thank you for the laughs.

It's not the cross itself but the faith behind it that repels him. If you truly believe in the symbol then yes your fingers will work, but if you are one of those "only on Sunday" believers then you're screwed even with a proper cross.

@nickdryad

5 жыл бұрын

Lunestia Crescent What if you don’t believe in vampires or Jesus? Policies are the real monsters and they don’t get scared of much.

@lunestiacrescent827

5 жыл бұрын

@@nickdryad typically any symbol of your faith would work, religious or otherwise. Anything from a star of David to a police badge to a stuffed teddy bear will repel supernaturally malevolent beasts and beings as long as there is enough faith. If you doubt, even for a moment, you die.

@nickdryad

5 жыл бұрын

Lunestia Crescent I think if you look at the vampire genre it’s specifically a cross. If it was just Christian faith that repelled a vampire, then he or she wouldn’t bother trying to sink their fangs into your neck. They’d just go. Oh. A Christian. Better move on.

It would be great if someone (good) actually made these movies. These plots are a hell of a lot more original and interesting than almost anything you can see in a theater. Just start with Dracula shacked up with an ax-murdering cellist and go from there!

You're my idol!!! A kiss from Norway 🎀

Love him! My favourite surrealist comedian....!

MY NAMES TABITHA!!! OMG IM DYING

I still love this sketch, but since I first saw it I actually read Dracula and in the original he can go out during the day, only his powers aren't as strong... so I guess they did that right in the movie.

lol, "ooh argh folks from around here aren't from around here." "and they never listen to the music do they?"

Folks from round here aren't from round here, lol. Unique comic genius.

Dracula Or Dracul Or Drac Or D- 😂😂😂

Fun fact, in the original book Dracula could go out in the daylight. Also, you had to use a crucifix, ie a cross with a little figure of Jesus, so fingers wouldn't work.

@Phlebas

6 жыл бұрын

What if you used fingers with a Jesus finger puppet?

@fergalhughes165

5 жыл бұрын

'Dracula' isn't written like a conventional novel .. but I'm pretty sure he never went out in daylight.

@TheEvilPet

5 жыл бұрын

@@fergalhughes165 He did. There's a big plot point in which Jonathan and Mina are walking in the daytime, and Jonathan is still recovering from his brush with Dracula in Europe. Jonathan suddenly sees Dracula on the street, and it causes him to have a mental breakdown.

@fergalhughes165

5 жыл бұрын

@@TheEvilPet Hmm, according to the Wikipedia entry on Count Dracula, he is indeed depicted as being out in the daylight at least once "to pursue a victim". Ch.18 of the novel describes many of vampires' abilities and weaknesses.

@ZapDash

4 жыл бұрын

@@fergalhughes165 It is odd to consider that the vampire mythos didn't originate in, nor was it codified by, *Dracula*. Yet most assume it was. *Frankenstein and the Modern Prometheus* for that matter too. Then early movies changed so much in the public mind. I weep to think in a hundred years Twilight might be considered a codified version of the vampire legend.

The whole stand-up is amazing, proper funny 🤭 One of the best ever written ... ... ever 😬👍🏻

What's a low powered vampire? Two words: Edward Cullen.

“Oooarrgh, folks from ‘round here aren’t from ‘round here!”

I was living and working in London when this filmed. I do not understand why I missed it. I remember everyone saying about how she’d done dozens of nights in row…. This and Unrepeatable are.. unrepeatable. Perfection. With Glorious and Dress to Kill close behind. I had a front row ticket for her in Belfast for the Sexie tour but gave my ticket to my then gf’s daughter. Stupid me. I’d love to see Live at the Ambassadors again.

This and the Star Trek skit are my absolute favourite. Eddie, have you considered riffing on superhero films?

@TarossBlackburn

7 ай бұрын

"Water in ear" setting

the guy is hilarious :DDD

love this made me laugh so hard

Such a great entertainer.

"The Thing that came from somewhere" 😂

🔪 Turns out the happy music was a trick and the killer is actually four lollipop trees away 🍭

"PISS OFF, YOU CELLISTS!!!"

Excellent.

I never knew Clare Balding was so funny.

@MotherOfDanbo

9 жыл бұрын

LoL Really made me laugh

He's so young! I would have loved to have seen him in the gardens.. 😷😷

brilliant & fabulous

totallay awesome

the musical direction of which way to choose ... ah! How good it is to laugh again. Thank you ever so, you should be given an Oscar for best writing or dyslexic talking, whatever, ...a tape of yours should be put into that absurd thing supposed to advertise our planet in space ... what I really want to say is: you are as valuable to humanity as Mozart, Hieronymus Bosch, and John Ford. For example, because I like them. Feel free to fill in whomever you like.

This man is so brilliant.

Sadly, the low powered vampire thing is the actual canon. "Nosferatu" created the death by sunlight thing. The Dracula novel never said a word of that.

He is a very silly man. Monty Python silly!

@BFagan

8 жыл бұрын

+Λαυρέντιος Ψαροκάηκας John Cleese even said Eddie is the "missing python", gotta agree. I could watch MP and Eddie for days. Pure talent.

You are right to do so. The original Dracula, as written by Bram Stoker, was not hurt by sunlight. All the sun did was limit his supernatural powers.

excellent

Ohh Eddie.... i just love you lol

I'd love go for a pint with Eddie 😃

Banjo playing pigs and a bad James Mason as Dracula.... ...I love this stuff, so does my depression. Thanx Eddie 🧠👍

Vampires can actually go out in the daylight. That was made up for the movie Nosferatu because they didn't have the budget for a chase scene at the end like in the book.

The best part of this is Izzard ended up playing Grandpa Munsters, Dracula

"and the bridge has been blown up by squirrels"!

Haha, the difference between the music...never thought about it before but it's true. lol

Eddie Izzard should work with King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.

They never listen to the music do they? ROFL!

@dokbob5795

7 жыл бұрын

Or take notice of the villagers, "I wouldner be agoin up there if I woz you."

"Agatha, Tabitha, Bagitha" ... haha ... so random.. 5:46

His little comment about Dracula being known as D may be the reference to Dracula's letter to Jonathan Barker where he signs off his letter with a D. 😨

Awesome he was in Shadow of the Vampire too 🦇 !!

In the book Dracula he could go out in daylight as the sun thing only started with the film Nosferatu

Funniest British comedian EVER.

that makes a lot of sense!! Far Side is my favorite cartoon . . and Eddie's my favorite comedian. Hmm!

great.

He is brilliant.

SOUND QUALITY BLOWS, THX!!