Great video! I love how it's easy and not complicated. And to know that it happens!

My current dry spell is over a year. Before that it was over 7 years. I think women (not ALL) throw too many mixed signals. "All you want is sex" Man backs off. Weeks later - "You don't make love to me anymore!!" Boo friggin' Hoo - quit using sex as a weapon!

@anmolkumar3148

Ай бұрын

Get a good call girl instead of a girl like this . Enjoy whole night and atleast you would be mentally functional in everyday life

Very realistic, down to earth way to cover this topic. Def subscribing, you both seem very emotionally intelligent. Going to check out some other vids

I’m thinking of definitely leaving bf of 4 yrs, it’s been 5 months w/o anything!!!!! He’s not the person he said he was. I told him from the start that intimacy was very important to me, he was more than happy to b on board! I feel he dismisses my feelings. I tell him repeatedly how this is crushing my soul, he just doesn’t seem to care or an ounce of care. Then I turn around and be mean as hell, which he then uses as an excuse!!!! I think I’m over it!

@antoinelyons5323

2 жыл бұрын

It like they don’t even acknowledge how you feel

@christenboin2737

2 жыл бұрын

Antoine Lyons no they don’t! He thinks I’m obsessed with sex. How can you be obsessed with something you don’t get!!! It’s been over 6 months. I promised myself I would leave, if it would go 6 months w/out! My dumb*** is still here. I’m truly ok being alone… it’s like I’m alone anyways.

@antoinelyons5323

2 жыл бұрын

Hate you dealing with it hopes it get better

@antoinelyons5323

2 жыл бұрын

Christen Boin I know how you feel really do

@Mauro-ot2ux

2 жыл бұрын

I don’t want to be rude, but how can you desire something you’ve had exclusively for 4+ years. Imagine it were food, like pizza. You love pizza, but after 4 years all you want is salad and stuff. Sex gets boring after a few months, all you need to do is focus on other common areas.

Amazing video guys! I can really tell the how much work and focus you two have put into video production, format, And discussion. The whole video I could tell I was getting very professional info in a warm and caring personal setting. I find that at least from my experience I get either a way too personal experience with info that is like, "well this is what my aunt's uncles sister babies mama went through and how she fixed it." Or I get the way too professional that makes me feel like I've just watched a highschool health class video. But I digress, I just wanted to say I really enjoyed the video and that you can tell the amount of effort good into it and his much making them to help people means to you both. Thank you again.

@vanessaandxander

3 жыл бұрын

Wow, thank you for the great feedback, Travis!! So glad you're enjoying our content!

With my current boyfriend, I would consider a week and a half to be the start of a dry spell. We just went through one bc of illness and health issues, and it was very hard. It started worrying me; like there was a decrease in attraction. But I am very happy to hear that this is normal. Thank you for addressing this!

@yangabella8657

3 жыл бұрын

yes , thanks its becouse they always fyting.

Like 2 weeks for my husband and I. We have went 6+ weeks but that’s was only after having 2 of our children. ❤️

What about when the dry spell has been caused by your partner's ongoing performance anxiety, and you've tried (and tried!) to have that open, heartfelt communication, but every time you *think* you've taken one step forwards, it ends up being two steps backwards?

Definitely good to bring humour to the table 😉❤🥰

Is this normall early in a relationship? like 1 or 2 years in?

Get use to it, I have...

How do I pry my wife away from her cell phone? She has no interest in connection with me anymore because she NEVER puts that fucking phone down for more than 5 minutes.

@0168196250

2 жыл бұрын

Same situation with my wife. Even having a meal she’s not even putting her phone down it’s to at least talk to me. It’s getting more prevalent lately.

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

Leave she talking to new boyfriend

@andrewdenny5571

3 ай бұрын

You have hit the nail right on the f***ing head. My wife uses her cell at least 2 1/2 hours per day "connecting with friends". All I want is 10 minutes a week of intimate time but she is too busy, or too tired. I did two 'tests' recently to try and kick-start our sex life again. I bought two pairs of black sexy briefs. I tried them on and called out "hey babe, what do you think?". Without even looking away from her screen for a milisecond, she says "fine". Right... on to the next test. I actually got attention the second time and you know her reaction - she laughed at me, She actually openly and out loud laughed at me - my wife of 10 years! Laughed at my efforts to break our dry spell. I felt tiny, so small - which says a lot as I am 6'5. The biggest kicker is the hypocrisy - telling our daughter to put her tablet away while she is at the dinner table while all the time she is on her phone. Drives me friggin mad! Anyhoo, I see a lot of messages on her screen now from "Gerard" so I think that I know the REAL REASON for our four month drought. We have not had sex at all in 2024. I think that Gerard is getting plenty of action! All of mine. Nice earrings that you gave my wife too Gerard - real classy cutting my lawn there mate

So if it's been years of fighting to be happy but no luck, why do I feel guilty to want to leave so I CAN be happy?

We have been having a dry spell for a year now. We are a young couple. She blames me for everything and it turn into self doubt. I dont know what to do. I dont know who to turn to. I need serious help. Its ruining our lives.

A month without sex signals to me that we are in a dry spell. The usual reason is we are struggling with time management or the kids need more attention at night.

@antoinelyons5323

2 жыл бұрын

It challenging gotta try to balance

Thirteen years of celibacy, thanks to dysperenia. I just didn’t want to have sex that caused pain, so i stopped. We didn’t know about treatments back then, but now we do, and in another month or so we can actually start trying again. I honestly don’t know if it will work or this is really the end of our sex life, but at least we’ll try.

18 years.

Our lack of sex is my “ snoring “ he says we can’t even hug because I snore. I’ve been to doctors,put tape over my mouth,gargled and nothing helps. When I wake up in the middle of the night he’s on the couch. I recently booked a trip to Florida and all that time we sell in separate rooms or so I did because when we were together through my sleep I heard the pounding of his pillow I knew he was mad 😢 so I would get up crying and go to the other room. We have sex once a month and in between no cuddling no kissing. So I spoke to him and I’ve decided to walk😥

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

He is gay

Dear Vanessa and Xander, what if my partner is still self pleasuring and browsing porn, more than engaging in sex with me? Should I push him to try and stop porn completely or should we mostly work on building up intimacy and communication around our fantasies, without having to stop porn completely ?

@vanessaandxander

3 жыл бұрын

Hi! Check out our old porn boundaries video - we go into depth about it there! It can be a tricky thing to navigate, so we hope our tips help :) kzread.info/dash/bejne/fn5-2MqxfpCwp6w.html

how about 2 years of "dry spells" ... and before that 5 years of "half dry spells" and before that beginning of marriage

Dry spell = peace

A dry spell for me I would say 5+years because honestly sex isint pleasurable or stimulating in fact quite the opposite which is why sex isint a high priority for me or many if my friends

More than a month or two

I'm a sex addit and if I go without it longer then five days it start to drive me mad. Any advise besides taking something to lower my drive? I'm already dating a guy 20 years younger but he can't keep up. Maybe I just have to much expections?

@Mauro-ot2ux

2 жыл бұрын

Yes you do

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

Add a couple of more

If you are interested kindly say

I'm really happy you guys approach this in a fun way.. because im about to strangle my partner from frustration...Apparently you are having sex🤣

I say about a month is to long. Asking for a friend... If someone's spouse has gone through a lot of lost and tends to work up the nerve to have sex about once a year. Are there any additional tips you would give to the husband in that situation? 7 years and probably have had sex 15 times. Again... asking For a friend.

@vanessaandxander

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Jerry! Thanks for the question. I'm sorry your friend is going through that. Of course, our first suggestion is to have open, honest, and supportive conversations about their sex life together. It all starts with communicating each other's needs!

@Mauro-ot2ux

2 жыл бұрын

If sex is important it can be a problem. If it’s not, it’s not. Depends on how you’re made, there’s no common ground on this issue

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

Time to walk

Its really hard, i have been with my boyfriend for over year now..I mean it should be at least 3 times a week. I have a very high sex drive and its so hard for me. I dont want to talk about it with him but he has been working a lot and I had covid for a week. We only had sex 3 times this month. I know for some people its normal but its so difficult

@vanessaandxander

2 жыл бұрын

We recommend checking out this FREE guide we have, as you might find it helpful: vmtherapy.com/whats-your-sex-drive-type

How about infidelity? How to recover from that,? it has been over a year now since I found out that she had sleep with him. She acknowledged that it was her mistake, how to overcome this?

@vanessaandxander

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Sunny! We will add this to our list of future videos!

@staminadaddy

2 жыл бұрын

Ditch that btxh

I brought up the lack of sex with my partner after a 3-month dry spell and then she was upset that I was "counting" and nothing was solved.

@vanessaandxander

Жыл бұрын

We definitely recommend you check out our New York Times Best-Selling book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life at sextalksbook.com or wherever you like to buy books! It's also available on Kindle and audiobook format.

8 years is not a dry spell. Won't even kiss or embrace.

i,m very honored to date a woman on a Dry Spell Married or single i,m from Ohio

A year and a half and I broke up with him

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

He was gay

I have not had sex with my husband in 3 years! I don't see how we will find our way back to each other. I mean we still cuddle n kiss n love each other I'm still sexually attracted to him I don't know how he feels. He's become more like my best friend. I think he's in denial lol I try to tell him it's been 3 years and he's "like well I'm ready to go right now". Lol But It just makes it awkward for me when he says it like that.

@Mauro-ot2ux

2 жыл бұрын

You don’t need sex to be happy together. Of course, both need to share this opinion for it to be ok.

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

He is gay

@lamarquescoleman9747

4 ай бұрын

Oh wow, I’m sorry it’s been three years. Can we try a bit this week you and your husband maybe try Friday.

@melkerner

Ай бұрын

Have sex with your husband - quit waiting for it to be perfect, or you will wind up with a perfect divorce.

This is embarrassing. I hate being disconnected.

I know one fire way to end a dry spell and that is to tell your partner that you want a devorce. Lol. It will wake them up to reality that you are having a serious problem with your marriage. And of course if they don't care or agree with devorce then you have nothing to work on because they don't love you anymore that's why you are having a dry spell. But if they are shocked and does love you then sit down and have a honest discussion on why you are having a dry spell and work together on fixing it.

@floydcash1694

Жыл бұрын

Make sure u got new stuff lined up first.

Very surface value

I’ve not had sex with my partner since 2019, and to be fair we don’t miss it, she’s even got rid of the double bed for a single bed, so I think in that respect sex is off the table for the foreseeable future

@melkerner

Ай бұрын

Unless you are geriatric or medically incapable - I recommend leaving

@alistaircorstorphine7469

Ай бұрын

@@melkerner I did , but even now I’ve lost all interest in sex ( it doesn’t bother me if I never have it again ) it is what it is