I recently lost my Mom and almost every day now I wish I was dead. You reminded me of something my Mom always told me to do. I went in the bathroom, looked at myself in the mirror and patted myself on the back and said "I'm so proud of you" it was like she was there and I cried and cried and after almost 2 years I think I finally started to heal. I am going to high 5 and the 5 second rule as well. I don't know if it is the same thing as what you do, but Mom always told me she was proud I was her son and that she loved me, NO MATTER WHAT! She called it an atta boy. She wanted me the best that I could be and that's how she encouraged me. I honor her and miss her so much. Thank you.

@msrenee9418

2 жыл бұрын

Learn the art of deep meditation, you'll be able to communicate with your mother. She will come to you in dreams too. She is still with you, now your VIP Angel, and seeing all of your achievements and no doubt so super proud! Sorry for your loss.

@mamat1213

2 жыл бұрын

This was beautiful 🙏🏾🙏🏾 I hope you’re ok and keep at it!

@annekennedy8127

2 жыл бұрын

Your mom would be so proud of you right now...keep it up - by looking after yourself is the best thing you can do for your mom - she'll be smiling! Take care...

@queenb660

2 жыл бұрын

I know how you feel because I lost my Mom years ago and I thought the world was ending.I remember how friends and family helped me but was lost and cried most days.Please live your days in honor of Mom she is not present in the flesh but her spirit lives on and is proud of you.💙

@jasonballard9657

2 жыл бұрын

@@queenb660 thank you

I’m 76 and I have spent a lifetime of not being enough. I maybe a little old but I am going to try this. Thank you.

@cynthiakammann7368

2 жыл бұрын

Right behind you, and me too! You go!

@elainecoyle2704

Жыл бұрын

Me too!!

@HWeseloh

Жыл бұрын

I am 80 an have spent my entire life thinking… Thank You for reminding me that I am not too old… I can do this 5-4-3-2-1… habit. ♥️❤️♥️ ⭐️ STRAIGHT OUTTA TEXAS

@Tswift63

11 ай бұрын

Excellent news

@penelopekostick743

10 ай бұрын

You’re never too old! Age really is just a number. I hope this high five habit has helped you❤

Mel is amazing! I watch all her videos and I'd recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat! My other best recommendation is this new book called Procrastination Elimination Method by John Isaac.... its a fascinating book on this topic :)

@luciabahamondes8521

11 ай бұрын

Thanks for the recommendation!

Spoil alert (they talk far too long before getting to the point 👉🙄).. High Five Habit: At the start of each day, stand in front of the mirror and high-five yourself. Deliberately cheer yourself forward. 5 Second Rule: Works by counting backwards from five to one and then taking action. It helps people take the right course of action, instead of procrastinating or getting distracted by worry. By using this rule, people can gain courage and confidence to accomplish goals.

@Butterfly-fw9dq

2 жыл бұрын

The comment I was looking for Thank you 😊

@kimberlyadegokerealtor

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@ItsMeBluu

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this.

@rachaelayers5591

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this

@ronyboylive6934

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

I look in the mirror every morning, staring into my eyes I say, " I Love You. YOU are more than what I'm seeing in the mirror. " I brush my teeth..meditate for 1/2 hour and then pray for 1/2 hour. I was the youngest of 4 in a poor Hispanic family, surrounded by racists and sexists. I grew up codependent surrounded by Narcissists. It took me over 40 years to find myself, it happened when I got "grounded in God." 10 years later I was able to walk away from ALL the Narcissists in my life. PEACE IS PRICELESS AND IT'S THE PRICE JESUS PAID SO THAT WE MAY HAVE IT. May God Bless You all and set you free to be the best you can be for YOURSELF AND GOD 😉💞🙏.

@elizabethwilk9615

2 жыл бұрын

God bless you. I understand exactly what you are saying.

@raquelchavez9252

2 жыл бұрын

I completely agree. Also cut contact from narcissists in my family and have more peace and time prayer an meditation and dealing with my codependency

@SonyaSuza

2 жыл бұрын

Wow...you are inspiring! ❤

@martinasikk6162

2 жыл бұрын

I’m so happy for you 🌹🇸🇪

@mirandabisnou1307

2 жыл бұрын

I am so happy for you 💕👍🏻. I'm going to be 60 years old in 6 months and have been surrounded by people (family) that mean well, but are enormously toxic. Everything is NEGATIVE. they will find a way to turn a happy moment into sadness, every conversation will end up about someone dying, or with some kind of illness. And they are my siblings 🥺 How do I turn away from this. I'm suffering from depression n anxiety. I see a therapist, but she cannot understand the severalty of my surrounding. My children have isolated; and I can't blame them. In many ways, I'm glad they did. I don't want this atmosphere for them. I've try so many times to reach out for faith in God, to look at nature and find beauty, to surround myself with positive people. But It's as if inside I am all negative. I want to feel content with myself, I want to feel worthy of me! I don't know what to do anymore.

Wow, I’m sitting here crying. I think this is a game changer for me, after years of therapy not working , with hating what I saw in the mirror, years of trying to become another person . This has really got me at a root level . So much resonates.

1:09 - on resistance - "every morning you drag your entire past into the bathroom with you". I laugh/cried at that truth!! At 76, I still know/carry that new girl in class being laughed at, that late bloomer being teased for not being "with it", that young wife being abused...stories ad nauseum. I appreciate the reminder that in spite of all that and also all my mistakes and shortcomings I AM worth it and I got this!! God bless ❤🙏❤

I’m so glad I came across this video, it actually brought me to happy tears. I lost my job in October 2021 because of something I refused to put in my body. I worked in the electrical industry for 25 years and just like that, it is gone. I’ve been eating up all my retirement money so at the age of 52 going on 53, I have to start all over again. I’ve lost two cats in less than a year, I live in a moldy mobile home that is doing wonders to my health and my cats health and I’ve gained an extreme amount of stress weight that makes me more tired than ever. I was physically and mentally abused by a former boyfriend that by the Grace of God decided to go back to his home state and live off his family instead of me. He stays in touch only to use me until he finds another person to take care of him. Anyway, out of the blue, a former boyfriend asked me to accompany him to Florida because he’d like to buy a house. At first I thought no way and then I said what do I have to lose? Being in the sun, getting in a pool and the ocean for a week has renewed my soul. My ex was a perfect gentleman and I’m not sure of his true intentions of taking me other than I’m not working and no one else would go but he helped me even thou he needs help himself. I got back yesterday and found this video while watching something my sister sent me. It’s like God or the universe is sending me tons of signs that it’s time to brush off the worry, stress, anxiety and hurt to finally get my act together. Thank you so much for continuing the words of encouragement in my head so I can get back to the person I used to be. I loved, I had visions of a better life, I was motivated and exercised a lot, I believed I would constantly better myself and then it all came to an end. I’m feeling good today and I’m so thankful that it makes me cry.

@jaydenskeeper1

2 жыл бұрын

Wow you have been through a lot. I can relate. I know that feeling of loss. I am happy that we both came across this video! Know that you are not alone. I don’t know if you believe in the power of prayer, but it can’t hurt so I am including you in my prayers tonight. I wish you the best and I just know that you will find your way to something wonderful! Hugs

@marleneppaul

2 жыл бұрын

@@jaydenskeeper1 Thank you ❤️

@marleneppaul

2 жыл бұрын

@@jacquelinel1618 thank you and wishing you the best as well

@jenniferharding6996

2 жыл бұрын

I sum wat understand wat you went threw. My son was murdered 3 yrs ago and gained around 100 pounds his father left cause he said I was too fat for him! I was so sad and it hurt so badly! But he's the 1 w/the issue I can change my weight & just move on w/ my life but we currently live together and he treats me so bad even though we are broken up I don't know wat to do at this point of my life. My car was jacked & I almost died that night the biy was gonna shoot me dead. I'm just thankful he didnt!☆

@marleneppaul

2 жыл бұрын

@@jenniferharding6996 oh my goodness I’m so sorry

In my prayers last evening, I prayed to begin to have a better life, change mindset, peace/happiness. I recently lost my mother to Covid. Lost my car, job, etc and my heart is broken and I am deflated. Literally perusing KZread and found this video and just thought...hhmmm let me see what this is about. I was floored by the author, Mel Robbins, and the simplicity of her motivational messages. It makes simple sense to me and it works. She is flawed and have issues like the rest of us and admits it...no sugarcoating it. How rare is that. She takes no credit for it...again, how rare is that? Instead, she extends credit back to you (and applauds you) for making the simple effort to help yourself by the simple tools she provided. I was divinely lead to this message because I needed to be inspired/blessed. I am enamored at how God still uses ordinary and flawed people to help those in need. I thank God for her because she is a gift for me and all.

@visionvixxen

2 жыл бұрын

Same boat today…. Keep me in prayer- because the hardest thing for me is cutting through it to talk to others when I’m not sure what to say.

@jsi4064

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry for your loss. I was once on a place like you. I am glad these days we have YT and you could find Mel to help you through.

@MrsElbalaoui

2 жыл бұрын

My condolences 💐 I pray that you all are able to regain everything you lost with a sense of peace.

@carrieperrigo2319

2 жыл бұрын

Praying for you to have God's true peace in this world....Just read this in the Bible this morning...John 16:33.

@NanaD-ve9tt

2 жыл бұрын

Hi , idk know if you will see this because you commented two months ago.I’m hoping your in a better place and have found some peace. I’ve come across some stories or channels that I never would’ve looked up and they end up being so helpful to me and almost like they are speaking directly to me so , I do believe that these stories find us be a we need to hear a certain message and also sometimes it helps a little to know others have experienced what you are going through. Many blessings to you. 🕯☮️💟🙏🏽❤️‍🩹🕊

The other day, just two days ago, I came to the mirror in the gym and greeted myself. Thought, standing there at age 64 what a nice person I was. I about teared up and cried when she spoke about high five ing herself in the mirror. Bout time we all learn to love ourselves.

@anthonettemiddleton2206

2 жыл бұрын

64 ?? I just went to your channel you look amazing!!!!!!

@susienelson7064

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for getting me out of bed!!

@2611Melissa

2 жыл бұрын

Yes it's about time we should all love ourselves more 💖

@Faithled

2 жыл бұрын

So true, I realized after breast cancer and a crushed pelvis no need to live serving others anymore I'm in chronic pain always and no pain killer other than my God. No dreams, only of going to the next place. Joy comes in the form of a 🐈 😻 🐈‍⬛ brings me such fulfillment and happiness.

@janiecepoush1904

2 жыл бұрын

@@Faithled Reba, God & Miracles are Real! Believe God Will heal you: “Prayer Success Recipe:” 1 Ask the Father; 2 For that which is Right, Good, Expedient Unto the Father; 3 Believing, knowing, having Faith; 4 In the Name of Jesus Christ. -------------------- You can Pray for whatsoever you will & it will be Given unto you! = Miracles will Happen!!!

I am a teacher in Canada, and I started to do the 5 count with my students for transitions and listening and it works tremendously…life changing for teachers. Highly recommended.

@EvaKumova

11 ай бұрын

Thank you, dear coleague! I will work as a teacher of spanisch in a sacondary high school again and I will use it too, not only for myself, tthank you!

@r-ratedstudios3847

10 ай бұрын

@@EvaKumova the way u spelled spanish and secondary should get you kicked back to highschool learning spelling correctly

@maryamallouche6422

9 ай бұрын

Very good idea 💡, I will apply it too in my classroom thanks for sharing.

@AgainstGravityy

6 ай бұрын

I use this as well. I'm teaching in China haha i have 50 students

This CD has three separate relaxation/meditation sessions on it kzread.infoUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq guided by a very pleasant and direct male voice. Unlike so many other products of its type, this CD does not have bad synthesizer music, does not feature a phony or affected style of narration, and does not make any bogus claims to be subliminal or to re-train the brain or any of that balderdash. What you get is 1. a guided meditation for getting into a pleasantly relaxed state of body awareness while taking a stroll (superb for those easing back into a fitness routine slowly after an illness or injury) 2. A nice long breath-awareness relaxation session that if followed diligently can put you into very deep states of full-body relaxation and mental calmness, and 3. a buddhist-inspired meditation session designed to help you develop and maintain feelings of loving kindness toward not just yourself and your friends, but toward people you don't even like. The CD makes no claims to be designed for advanced meditators or for buddhists or hindus/yoga practitioners looking for very deep and esoteric stuff. It is geared more toward the average person who just wants to develop the habit of relaxation and stress relief through natural, healthy means. him, if you happen to be reading this, keep up the good work fella, and I love your accent. I would also like to note that I have never fallen asleep while listening to this product. I would like to kindly suggest to the reviewer who said this CD makes him fall asleep, that he might want to get checked to see if he has a sleep disorder, or if he is simply not setting aside ample time for restful sleep at night. A healthy person getting adequate rest at night should be able to go into deep states of mental relaxation without dozing off, if not all the time, then most of the time.

I'm 62 years old, I have NEVER looked in the mirror enough that I cannot pick myself out of a picture of a group of people. I cannot tell you how hard this hit. I have a history of severe abuse, I realize I continued the abuse on myself long after my abusers were out of my life or dead

@AJSMAS18

2 жыл бұрын

You are healing and growing ❤️❤️❤️ Soon you will be smiling at yourself in the mirror 🙏🙏🙏 You will get there.

@kasperorganics-organiccott6881

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, it doesn't matter how long they may have been dead, as long as they are still living in your head. I hope her methods help you. 💟

@patrickmckinley6679

2 жыл бұрын

Hi 👋 Friend, can I talk to you for a moment?

@deannawendt146

2 жыл бұрын

Can relate!

@katieharville6863

2 жыл бұрын

You are in my heart.

You literally saved my life exactly 3 years ago. because of you, Mel Robbins, I was able to leave an abusive relationship in a country where I couldn’t call home because I was a stranger. Being single mom with 13 years old son being both abused with a stranger. Only listening to you on KZread and counting 5,4,3,2,1 every day helped me to get through. THANK YOU amazing HUMAN BEING! 🙏♥️🙏

@susie8104

2 жыл бұрын

💜 I hope you and your son have a beautiful life bless you

@sagejunkie7089

2 жыл бұрын

🧡 well done xxx

@katcat5088

2 жыл бұрын

Smaranda you are awesome! God bless you.

@ReneeKnightYogaRani

2 жыл бұрын

Thank goodness you found the courage via Mel! She’s so down to earth! Would love to meet her one day!

@ReneeKnightYogaRani

2 жыл бұрын

@@katcat5088 :)

I know what I need to do just on a daily basis, I'm old, I procrastinate, I'm having trouble just getting up! I look around my room and know what needs to be done, I just can't move to do it! My health is terrible but my mind wants to do so much yet I just can't start!

@Hannah-jk3dk

Жыл бұрын

Exactly what I have felt

@barbaracooney4053

Жыл бұрын

I am on the same place..exactly.

@toobad55

Жыл бұрын

Look up a video about healthy activities for elderly people. See your doctor and explain your goals. Drink your allowance of fresh water daily. The brain needs to stay wet.

@sharonrogers6541

6 ай бұрын

I'm 70 and I know the feeling so well! I'm going to 54321 myself to the bathroom mirror for a high-5 and listen to the rest of this well I do the simple chores we've got this!!! 😂❤🎉❤😂❤❤

At 13:10, when Mel said that she was a "Very high functioning, screwed up human being", I laughed out LOUD AND HARD! Her honesty allows her to be so relatable. Thanks Mel!

As a "yes girl", I learned to say to myself when looking in the mirror, "Please say, 'no' to protect me. Say no. I need you to protect me. It's ok to say no without an explanation, because my inner peace is the priority to us."

@msrenee9418

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, I'm learning that saying no to others, is saying yes to myself.

@OFFICERMCCOMACK

2 жыл бұрын

I understand that to my core.

@belindamiller4168

2 жыл бұрын

I sooo struggled with saying no because of how I was raised. It took me over 50 years to say …. Thank you but that is not an option!!!! Very empowering!!!! You said no but didn’t say no!!! Try it. It is soooo life changing!!!! 💜🐝 🐛🦋🐛🦋🐛🦋

@tillytimothy6390

2 жыл бұрын

Love this💖💖

I really appreciate this, I needed your 5 second rule to get going today, Christmas Eve. And I did the mirror high 5. I lost my husband to Covid last month. The holidays are rough. I'm using the 5 second rule to get my ass in gear and make cookies for my 5 year old grandson. So Santa will have cookies, and the reindeer will have 🥕. Thanks for the 5 second rule, I'm off the couch.

@dfattyadams123

2 жыл бұрын

I'm sending my condolences to you and empathy. In less than a year my husband passed, my mother and 2 friends. It absolutely took my breath away. But I had to start thinking about all I still had and know I'm blessed. I hope all good things for you and your precious grandchild.

@zoelynch295

2 жыл бұрын

God bless you, may Jesus give you the hope of heaven. ❤️

@naidoo307

2 жыл бұрын

Jesus is hurting with you sorry to hear of your loss I will say a prayer for you ,God bless.

@LaSorciereFeuillue

2 жыл бұрын

Hug from me Cherie

@LaSorciereFeuillue

2 жыл бұрын

@@dfattyadams123 a big hug from me too 🥰

This video was amazing and left me wanting more. I just turned 52 and I was diagnosed with ADHD at 48. Which is silly, if I have it now that means I was born with it. The problem with my generation is that girls weren’t diagnosed young like children are now. There’s a real epidemic of women in and around my age being diagnosed later in life that have no coping skills to deal with their new ADHD diagnosis. We are suffering now usually when peri- menopause begins, which is hard enough for any women. I am like most people with ADHD, I have a high IQ. I had learned to utilize my ADHD as my super power. Until one day it was like I went to sleep and woke up and suddenly it wasn’t my superpower, it was my kryptonite!! I was suddenly unable to concentrate, I was time blind, procrastinating about everything that didn’t excite me. I was getting distracted by something as simple as someone’s perfume in the other room. I could no longer concentrate or stay on task. I had multiple projects started and nothing done. I couldn’t reach my deadlines when just a few year’s prior, I did everything before the expected deadline. I’ve always had anxiety and depression but now, I was plummeting to new lows and fast. It had a profound effect over my life. It didn’t help matters that no one else could understand. I felt alone and lost with no where to turn. It’s impossible to explain this to a Neuro typical person. They assume we just need to practice mind over matter or we’re just giving up. They can’t understand why suddenly, you became this new person that can barely function. If I heard it once, I heard it a 1000 times, it’s just so weird how you were fine your whole life and now you’re barely functioning. Like I wanted an excuse to become like this and had to be looking for an easy or lazy way out. It was so much easier for them to think that I just decided to become a lazy person than to believe what was really happening! I’m talking about people who knew me for year’s. My ADHD was just an excuse to them and they were sick of it. I was losing friendships that I had for years with people who were precious to me.I lost 3 jobs in 2 years. I haven’t worked or looked for work since. I don’t have the guts to barely leave the house much less work. I’m going to be homeless at the end of this month over all this and I’m just so scared and lost. I don’t know what to do! This video may or may not be a Godsend but I’m going to try it! It won’t change my financial situation but maybe just maybe, I can learn to live and love myself.

@loripiontek

2 жыл бұрын

Menopause changes a lot about us too. It was the end of my life long migraines and the end of my 14 hour sleep 'necessity' since I was 14. Changes are hard. Love yourself, because I do.

@torriepenney936

2 жыл бұрын

Its brave of you to say all this. Yeah..u were going at a good pace, then it gets altered by a few changes beyond your reach. I get it, having to move, new city, no supports. I pushed myself so hard. Just seemed to come up short no matter my attitude. My family cd not get the level of adapting, they are far away and thought I wasn't trying. Covid started, luckily I had a job. It became a tense scene, bosses became harried and not good w hearing the matters, clients matters. I felt I lost faith in the idea of supports. I kept working but hours were cut. Quit bc it was more effort for less pay. Crazy. I ve rested, spent time w son w Adhd. He s not motivated to do more than he is asked. I often got snarls, but I know it's wise to step out of comfort, reach out. Got counselling, worked on activities for my body, dancing, studying narcissism( old/ new friends). All sorts of people have odd ideas I would do anything w out question. I knew it wasn't all for me to Deal w children, entertain, be the free drop in center. I drew the line after being expected to do it On the spot. I love children, yet other parents attempted to Displace them onto me. It's not my Job to perform what other parents won't "think about/ act upon". A clash happened bc I said Enough. Truth is it was passive aggressive folks with no consideration of anyone else's Energy/ goals. Dropped that ball and They had to move out( problems build up bc no actions done by parents). Calm returned, I help seniors bc there is a great need. It's important, but I see there is not much support for carrying it out. Looking to drive for school busses. My son left after a hospital overnight( ER, foot pain I had). Son wanted attention 17, I had to run for medicine, make dinner after No sleep all night. No thought of how that wd be, he called me uncaring. Oof! He ran to ex, and ex won't accept an apology. Stressful bc I have to get a legal group to Hear this matter/ no option bc its in divorce agreement. I know no 1 is exempt from pain, but there s a strange expectation I never have any, I'm a machine and don't need anyone s consideration. Not balanced. So I have to plug into the help..to maybe have my son back. It's anxiety causing, I don't like this month of No one to care for. Friends, hardly can tell their timelines- looks like massive levels of Goal less days. I know I can order my day, just the distractions are not ideal, they don't Hear I need my days to go decently. Get irritation if I don't Give up my goals..thats v draining. Cut off naysayers bc they sabotage whatever ur heading to.

@stacymorris2570

2 жыл бұрын

@@loripiontek Thank you very much! Menopause and ADHD for me is a lot of pinned up, unfocused energy, so sleep is out of the question for me. I feel like a gerbil on a wheel. I just go and go but I’m getting nowhere.I think my migraines are here to stay. I’m so happy you had some positive things happen for you. My positive that I take from this is a lot of the things I’m experiencing are comical, sometimes I get a good laugh. 💕

@stacymorris2570

2 жыл бұрын

@@torriepenney936 You are brave for sharing, as well. I didn’t feel brave when I posted my comment. I felt desperate to be honest. I have a 19 year old son who is with me that is autistic. He’s high functioning but not high functioning enough to care for himself. So, I can truly empathize with your situation. I luckily have no issue with setting clear boundaries and it sounds like you figured out the importance of setting them the hard way. Good for you!!! I truly hope things work out for you! 💕

@playlist436

2 жыл бұрын

@@stacymorris2570 Good morning! I can relate to you so much! Courage for your journey! I am a single mom of 3 high functioning autistic kiddos💗💙💛 and a narc husband dying from Covid I have gone into my cubby hole. I also recently got diagnosed with ADHD so many things makes sense. I am so glad I saw this video and going to take the steps to get moving! I have faith in you! You have a friend in me.

You have described me with long term depression, codependency and crippling procrastination. I’ve made many changes in my life and have moved forward on many issues except my procrastination! I’m putting this in my morning routine and sharing this video with others I think would benefit.

@AdventureHorseRidinginNYS

Жыл бұрын

I was quite the procrastinator also and hated it. She has helped me bunches. Good luck to you.

@marshawalker5273

8 ай бұрын

​@@AdventureHorseRidinginNYSI use the 5 count but I watched her show & videos & finally realized thats the only helpful thing she has to offer

@AdventureHorseRidinginNYS

8 ай бұрын

@@marshawalker5273 that 54321 I use bunches and bunches 🙂

I am a procrastinator and a thinker. Thank you for all your help!

@diamonrockformed

Жыл бұрын

Hey is it working?

@AdventureHorseRidinginNYS

Жыл бұрын

I was a horrendous procrastinator also. And I started listening to her and to David Goggins s and Jordan Peterson... The three have helped me enormously. I do the 5 second rule by Mel bunches and bunches of times, and the phrase what would Goggins do?

@tonylopez2675

Жыл бұрын

Me 2!!!

@jo5755

Жыл бұрын

Me too 😫

@hey1232

8 ай бұрын

Me too 😢

When she told us about her husband feeling like he didn't even deserve a fucking high-five...DAMN that hit hard! Tears pouring out of my eyes as I decided right then and there that I am making my husband do this. Because I know how worthless he feels. It breaks my heart to think about how many men in our society feel this way because they've been conditioned to judge themselves so damn hard! 😔 If any man that feels like this sees this comment, just know there is at least one person out there praying that you will feel loved and will love yourself.

@marckzwol

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, just what i feeling

@ladyguerlain3707

2 жыл бұрын

Beautifully put and so painfully accurate 💕

@judymiller5154

2 жыл бұрын

@@marckzwol high five, brother! You got this! You are worth it! You are an amazing man to just admit that to yourself and now to toal strangers! That tells me you are about to change it for yourself. May God bless you with a vision for a brighter future and direction for the first little step to take now. ❤🙏❤

@scottclements9029

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

She is an amazing advisor, therapist and human being. We need more of her in this world.

@ approximately 26:50 she explains the 5,4,3,2,1 rule and as soon as she said it refocuses the brain and disengages the negative thoughts/feelings... that's BRILLIANT! What an amazing strategy. At the beginning of the video, I couldn't imagine how counting backwards could possibly help. Boy, I'm going to try that. Logically, and knowing what I know about depression from personal experience, I have confidence this will be a game changer.

@rosemariemann1719

2 ай бұрын

"matthewsbrrful", Another way to challenge negative thoughts and stress by INTERRUPTING them is self - hypnosis. My favourite is Michael Sealey : there are many "guided meditations" here on. KZread. Same process as Mel's "54321" : gives you a rest from tension, and the more you listen, the better : your SUB-conscious mind 🦉 takes in the beneficial message. Best Wishes from England 😊🌈🇬🇧 🇬🇧🦉🌈😊💙🥀

*”You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius*

@oliverstadler350

2 жыл бұрын

@@AR-jo5vv train it little by little, 5,4,3,2,1, do anything for 5 minutes, get the trash outside, feed your cat, vaccume clean your livin room, cook something, do a phone call. Train it and becom a master! You can! You will! Go for it! Now!

I just want to say Thanks! I find it very hard to talk about myself but I'll give it a try. I'm a 49 year old man and all my life I have felt the way you are talking about in this video. I don't like myself. I see myself as less than and not worthy of love, damaged gross, ugly... the list goes on and on. In my late 20s and early 30s I had worked so hard to get a job after another relationship ended. Unfortunately I always carry that weight of how I see myself and felt too much weight on my shoulders. I couldn't go to work and eventually I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. Went through many years of being on medication and self isolation. I still struggle with seeing people and going outside and I'm almost 50 years old. While I was on long term disability from work - back in my 30s again - and had not retired yet It got so bad that my father intervened for me. I hated it but it was important. Cops came to my house which was neglected as much as myself. A complete disgusting mess, woke me banging on the door to take my to the hospital because I was believed to be a danger to myself... this was actually before I became suicidal. I had to retire early from working an my mid 30s because of my disabilities being so sever and to this day I still do not work. The way I see myself is huge failure. No matter how much people tell me how great I am as a person I don't believe it inside. My GP sent me to a therapist and I had seen many already that didn't help. This time was different. My therapist made a connection with me I think she notice how much I feared feelings. May not make sense what I'm saying but I became afraid to feel even good things. I would not allow myself to feel anything. The point is she broke through to me and made me smile and feel good. I didn't even consciously realize that I was trying so hard to not feel things. I was afraid of emotions. These days I'm getting by but It's still there. I still don't like myself enough and the point of my long story is I get what you are saying. I went to the mirror and felt it when I high fived. It's stupid but yes it works. It's only one day but you are on to something. I hope it continues and I can be nicer to myself. Thanks again and keep doing this great work!

@katherinekaczowka5294

2 жыл бұрын

Hello Krom, God and I are so very proud of your steadfast efforts, despite all the pain that you've gone through. God also appreciates that you're not a quitter. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, many people will be inspired by you and all that your battling. But keep taking one hour at a time with the Lord. And thank God you were directed to a helpful therapist. May God continue to bless you.

@quashiesuzanne

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing that! Going through things take its toll keep fighting every second every minute and know your more than that because God does. Your body is designed to overcome use your God given strength to overcome.

@rosegomez6591

2 жыл бұрын

Its okay not to ne ok . Im pur defense this world has become very negative and overwhelming . A rat race. Than we got the asshle everywhere. Its not easy . Its not our fault. Some of us. Are juat more sensitive to what this world has become a chaotic ,crazy absurd no justice poliitical bull crap . To make ir worst peoole are not all people are nice . Aftwr the pandemic made things worat. ( love is not beuriful , we need to make it beuriful. My aunt rild me this in my firsr breakdown. . Now i to make my place a cozy happy one. I have good days bad days. Im thankful . It could be much worsrt. I lwt myself feel what needa to feel . Like tou mentioned be gentle . To ourselfs. . I was not always like this. I use to be laidback. I very sensitive to negative stuff.

@Suninitib

2 жыл бұрын

Keep trying Krom. 🖐

@cherylelancaster8791

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your words, Krom. I've been so beat down by the battle with anxiety and depression. It feels now like trying to rebuild from the ashes. I know about the self-imposed isolation, and the difficulty of trying to talk with people, and inability to make myself go out. I'm conscientious and hard working, but the workplace can be brutal, too. You inspire me! Never give up. You're courageous.

I remember a psychology class in high school, when my teacher told us to just get up and high five five of our classmates. Now, I was an exchange student from Germany of all places, Germans don't really high five, at least not 29 (!) yrs ago, so I was a bit hesitant and thinking 'What's the point, what's to high five?! Don't one need a reason to high five?!'' The point was, it felt good! And, no, one doesn't need a reason. Thanks for making me remember that.

Oh my I AM SO taken by this !!!! I am eternally grateful for listening to my spirit tell me to click on you Mel !!! I started this morning with the high 5 & what I noticed NOTICED it’s an understatement bc what I felt was felt in every single cell bc I took the time to feel my amazing me, my compassion to me, I FELT my value!!! I broke into tears bc for the first time since my husbands death , I felt I deserve success I have tremendous value ALONE !!! Love you guys for giving us your time and these tools!!! 😘

@heatheral-hammadi3046

7 ай бұрын

My husband died almost three years ago. He left me with five children. He killed himself. It’s been so tough to continue on but we just have to DO it. I’m with you in spirit.

@beautyover6018

7 ай бұрын

@@heatheral-hammadi3046that it heartbreaking but if you can find joy in moments of time thru the debilitating sadness that Permeates and by learning to dance in the rain you’re being the role model that’s gonna help your children one day when they go through a hardship.

@KathyHussey063

6 ай бұрын

@@heatheral-hammadi3046 my husband died in his sleep at age 49, unexpectedly in 2010 after 27+ years together & raising 4 kids plus others related to us who needed us bad at the time . He had blown thru over $150,000 in less than 6 weeks, I found out he hadn't paid the house note in 2 months, emptied my little checking account and had not paid utilities for 2 months. 6 weeks later the IRS came & said they were taking my house ( it only had 18 payments left on it to pay it off) to pay 256,000.00 in taxes owed to them, they claimed . I still don't know how I'm still walking here 13 years later , lol, but I made it through it all somehow with my kids, family, friends and God's great love. It was hell but I found out how to stop the house from being taken, they don't do that if you're disabled, it's your only home & you have no income so.... anyway I kept going my love for my kids kept me going looking out after them & I eventually got to a place I could forgive him . I think he knew he had bad heart disease & was dying & he about lost his mind, went wild.... he was only human so anyway, I just want to say, sometimes we are called to peace, things happen but we don't understand why, but if we keep letting love guide us, we will get there, get through it and come out changed, made stronger for it all . Find what you love and care about cause now you get to choose . May God guide you always when you are lost, He knows the way to go.

I am fully stuck. I spend hours spinning my wheels and I accomplish very little. I had a devastating trauma and suffer from anxiety for the last three years. I want to move forward. I find you both very inspiring.

@agirlgossips1573

2 жыл бұрын

You’re not alone Ana. Keep going, you’re worth it!

@quashiesuzanne

2 жыл бұрын

Pray keep fighting. It gets hard but your harder!

@alritehamilton

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve been spending months doing that! My life did a “180” in a very short time. 2021 has been VERY challenging! I’m ready to make positive changes in 2022! Hope things get better for you!

@peggylee7137

2 жыл бұрын

I hear you, I feel your pain, I know your pain.. I feel the same way. My prayers 🙏 are with you. You're not alone ♥

@pennymurdock4507

2 жыл бұрын

Been there & truly understand. After loosing my "baby" girl whom at the young age of 32 got a rare cancer called Carcinosarcoma. We are raising her heart broken daughter that at one week before her Birthday said Goodbye. I have been spinning upon a roller coaster. I have been where I lost focus and felt at a time I was at fault. Whenever I did I remember feeling while holding her arm & hand as she passed away her spirit leave her body. Then is when I know she is beside us & behind us pulling for us all to just keep trying. Her life was a blessing to all she touched & still touches. Please know that your loved ones both in heaven & on earth are & always will be here for you. My Dad always said How you spell can't = TRY #God Bless You #KeepOnTryin 🤗🥰👍

I once saw a video about a teacher who would give each student a high five every morning as they entered his classroom, and his students were doing very well.

@Amy_Stanmore

2 жыл бұрын

It's also engagement and positive psychology. Some children get nothing at home sadly. Some children dont even eat breakfast at home.

It’s 3.29am . I am watching. Depressed. Alone with 2 toddlers . Immigrant in country that it’s also not my home. No Job no income.... my husband move out three days ago ... I tell them to go .... With his secret drinking , and other addiction - I discovered that last 5 years when I started begging for his love, I didn’t understand why I feel like I am nothing. Now I am sooo depressed ... He come clean.... lies and lies ... and he was blamed me for all.... I was leaving with emotional wall.... sleeping in separate rooms ... staying for kids .... And then when I reach my lowest he come clean ... and I have A-Ha moment.... I look back who I was and how much I change and sacrifice.... and I was worth to love me ... I was worth better life... with love and respect... so I tell him to go ... I know that : I feel better already... just I have to figured out the financial part ... I feel alone...in country when I don’t have anybody....

Holy Moly Mel, this is spot on where I am at! I am an overthinker.

Mel are you a window peeper? I'm crying! Which window in my life did you look through? I've been so paralysed in my own head and in emotional, physical and financial distress. About to be evicted after 9 yrs, am 64 on a tenuous employment, no savings, no close family and centimetres from declaring bankruptcy. I needed to hear this. Thank you both Dr R for the introductionand Mel for your honesty. 🙏

@moonpixyart4562

2 жыл бұрын

I hope everything works out for you, be blessed

A lad I know ,left school at 15 and two years later , having worked as a labourer on building projects, bought an old house . He did it up over 2 yrs, sold it ,bought2 more old homes , Lived in one as he did up the other . By 21 he had his first million . He's most fortunate , he's smart , fulfilled and a forward thinker , because he got free early in life . Worked hard , and his choices paid off . Cheers

You are encouraging me to move forward after this pandemic , I’ve felt so lost. Life isn’t the same and I haven’t known how to move forward, you’re the only person speaking to this time right now. Thank you Mel!

@nevillepitout1374

6 ай бұрын

You sound like me only it wasn't only the pandemic we had looting and floods in Durban. I today started doing things that I have put off too long. I am 75 and refuse to give up. Nevs mom

@lightmetamorphosis

5 ай бұрын

What's a pandemic though?

@nattyznook

5 ай бұрын

@@lightmetamorphosis Really? Oh I don’t know what the whole planet just went through. If you don’t want to acknowledge it that’s your deal not mine.

@lightmetamorphosis

5 ай бұрын

​@@nattyznook No I'm just asking cause I've never heard of it.

A lot of the motivational speakers in the '90's whose events I have been blessed to attend would suggest that you/we/I look in the mirror and tell our person that we see that : "You are worthy. You deserve to be loved", and that you should love yourself. And I could not do it. I tried. Many times I would look in the mirror and start to do talk to the woman in the mirror and give her pep talks. I managed about 5 words. Another time, 3 words. A time after that, no words. I. COULD NOT LOOK into my own eyes. I dropped them instead and turned around and walked away. NEVER realizing until this conversation that I WAS TURNING MY BACK ON ME. I am overwhelmed with the realization of this to the point of tears forming. I don't even have words to describe how profound that realization is to me, and I have no words to how profoundly and deep this conversation resonates within me. I am SO grateful for the both of you and this particular podcast. Thank You.

Oh, God! That's the story of my life. I only take action when it comes to doing for others, and put aside my own needs and responsibilities, no matter what the circumstances or repercussions. I'm so stuck and by not doing the things I need to do, it's ended up costing me so much money and also my health. I hope I can change.

@kevinkillelea8926

2 жыл бұрын

I here you your not alone, I have done the same.

@rosegomez6591

2 жыл бұрын

Same here. I believe the extremeties of life . Can get heavy

@justjosie8963

2 жыл бұрын

Mine asked me if I would speak to others as harshly as I speak to myself.

@kevinkillelea8926

2 жыл бұрын

@@justjosie8963 Good Point I constantly berate myself.

@samar2741

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve felt the same way for much of my life and have only started to change recently, I am still paying for much of the repercussions from my past but it’s never too late to change. I find it’s most useful in the mornings to listen to something inspiring like this and get going. If I can do that it sets a positive spiral where I trust myself and continue getting things done. It’s the days my self trust is low that I feel like giving up and can’t do anything. Wishing you so much luck on your journey

I find that it is easier for me to do the high 5 by picturing myself at 5 years of age while I look at myself. It reminds me of who I used to be.

@Suninitib

2 жыл бұрын

That’s a great idea. I have been mixing with five year olds recently and love their confidence. 🖐

@gemini8620

2 жыл бұрын

Yep! Shadow work your inner child

I actually did this when I was younger. I hesitated and began developing a habit and eventually an addiction to procrastinating. Out of nowhere I literally said outloud 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I did it. And I began using this method from that period in my teens forward. I became and incredible person I never knew I could bc I held onto that habit.... Fast-forward through years of therapy and brokenness and pain, I lost sight of myself and who I was and what I could be. 💔😢 It almost ended my life. I recently heard Mel do a video and I heard THOSE VERY WORDS 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and I suddenly remembered. I'm telling you man!!! God knows we need each other, we need people we know and don't know in our lives! Because I don't know Mel Robbins, but she reminded me of something I knew before that I knew helped and worked yet I lost sight of. No matter who you are YOUR wisdom in the experience you have can and will bless another! Words of the experienced. 💯🥰

@ankolefx3272

4 күн бұрын

I feel the the depth in this. ..❤

Everyone needs to know they are not alone. People who share their expertise the way you both do is such a blessing in the times we are living in now. Thank you. I am so happy to have found this podcast, and even though am not a young person I want to share this with everyone.

@gotfullertlynnennenga4590

10 ай бұрын

Rose 🌹 thanks for sharing

@jennifervictore5471

7 ай бұрын

Can Mel please share her expertise on How to write a book.. What's the process... Who do you consult.. How many hours per day/week/month does it actually require. X

110-115 minutes in: addresses resistance to doing this in a powerful anecdote truly worth listening to. High-fiving yourself is powerful behavioral activation therapy by acting like a person who cares about yourself - and your brain is watching. It's an act of defiance and of forgiveness. Success is not the source of self-worth. This is a good habit to combat self-rejection.

@nicolepsy

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this. I wouldn't have ever made it to this crucial part of the video without you!

@jan9562

2 жыл бұрын

@Leanne Comerford

Mel is relatable because she is so freaking REAL!!! Yes, she is human! 👋

@honeychick4ever280

2 жыл бұрын

Did she have a talk show at one time? She's the real deal 💯💯💯💯

What this lady says is absolutely CORRECT, we know the solution to our chronic problems but we just keep on thinking and will not act

I couldn’t wait to try this, when I got to bathroom mirror with two mirrors I did this “high five” thing five times switching mirrors. It gave me such a lift I couldn’t believe what a lift it gave me just seeing me smiling back at my self. Having just begun separating from a narcissistic relationship and I believe that this will help me and many others whom I’ve already shared with, thank you Mel, thank you Jesus

Confidence is the "willingness to try." I love that.

Also, make your face smile the moment you wake up and hold it in that position. Whether you feel it or not, this will cause physical/neural link that will influence your mental outlook.

@judymiller5154

2 жыл бұрын

clapping a few times, too! 😁👏😁

@dottiec7943

10 ай бұрын

​@@judymiller5154really 🥺?

I am 61 and for years, when I just didn't feel like doing something, I have said aloud to myself, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go do it!" I still have to make sure I just do it right then and there, but it does make it easier.

Thank you so much. I never look in the mirror. I'm 55 and have 4 children and just beat down. You don't know how much this helped me.

This is so crazy! I was on Reddit last week and somebody suggested Mel's rule. Then this video comes up. It sounds like the Universe wants me to use the 5 second rule. I have depression and ADHD, it means a lot to hear that Mel came up with the tool for all of us. I've been procrastinating doing a lot of things but, I KNOW I have to stop that. I'm so glad I stumbled across this video. Thank you both.

@elizabethwilk9615

2 жыл бұрын

Praying for all those with anxiety, depression and adhd

@terranjohegrado2350

Жыл бұрын

It's not the universe, it's the google bots spying on everything you do, see, and listen to on your computer and smartphone. Your smartphone listens to you even when you are not using it.

@lauragoeke4314

Жыл бұрын

You are not alone. How is this working for you?

@uliumi982

11 ай бұрын

All is right, but not universe, just meta algorithms

@jildamorera8400

11 ай бұрын

@@uliumi982 aaahhh, but it IS the universe....just a different kinda universe! ;)

That's exactly what I do, watch these videos, to feel like I'm doing something with my life, as the days roll in and out, almost as if I'm just waiting for the end.

@perryskyephoenix

2 жыл бұрын

Me too! 😁 Actually I found this video impossible to watch because of all of the success stories and talking about how they've managed to help so many people. They talk too much about the problem without offering any solutions. Get to the point! Oh yeah... just tell us to buy whatever you're selling! You lost me! I give up!

@VanessaKittredge

2 жыл бұрын

Me too.

@VanessaKittredge

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. Oh how I want to shift! I think that the isolation of pandemic made it worse for me. Any progress and breakthroughs Ive had were frozen. I have this deep desire to move this massive energetic road block in front of me. But I feel exactly like you. Waiting for it to end. Numb. Ugh. Sending you encouragement and compassion. I hope you have a good day. ☀️

@teem9010

2 жыл бұрын

omg! that's exactly the words ive been feeling, waiting for the end, not sad, just nothing. thank you SO much! that really help me !

@laurielynne2006

2 жыл бұрын

@@VanessaKittredge I know exactly what you are saying. It feels like life has stood still the past 1.5 years or so. Like spinning my wheels. I have goals but putting them into action seems so F’ing 😣

I am Procrastinating by watching this!!

@KMF3

2 жыл бұрын

🤣😁😂🤭

Hey the first time I tried the high five thing I was expecting a little rush but as I did the high five and I looked at myself in the mirror I was surprised to find that I thought to myself about the person looking back at me “you’re not capable of having anyone’s back. You’re capable of very little. You’re not very strong at all. You’re kind of a wimp and I don’t think you can help me with much.” Here I was thinking that I had a high regard for myself - good self-esteem, and I still really believe I love myself - but I realized I didn’t feel safe depending on myself, and now I realized I NEVER felt safe depending on myself. I never, ever, had that realization before and it totally surprised (and disappointed) me. But it was helpful because I now think that is the reason I have been forever looking to “God” to help me, or smarter people, or books, etc. BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL I CAN REALLY RELY ON MYSELF. To come to this realization puts another level of disappointment in me. Yet it is remarkable that I am now aware of this and I hope it will eventually help me somehow. Has anyone else had a similar experience when they did it?

I've been stuck and in a rut in and out in my life and l use to waste so much time watching and reading self help books. What l found most helpful is setting small goals for myself at first especially when l feel stuck. You can build up to bigger goals. Sometimes setting a goal can be as simple as getting out of bed and going for a walk that particular day. If you dream about going on holiday to the Caribbean or somewhere else then set a date when you want to go. Plan who you gonna go with. Research prices and hotels etc. You are activitly setting small goals to achieve a bigger goal. I also found setting boundaries very helpful and am still learning how to set boundaries with people so l don't get overwhelmed and stressed or upset. Also give your self permission to say No. I use to be a people pleaser mainly through my own in securities really. It was hard to say NO to people but it gets easier with practice.

@patrickmckinley6679

2 жыл бұрын

Hi 👋 Rita, can I talk to you for a moment?

My question I ask myself is who else is going to do it? Btw I moved states, my parents died within 3 months of each other before I was 29, my grandparents past and my friends live in another state and I bought a dog. Grief I learned is it never leaves me I learned to live with it. So i ask who else is going to do it or help me? No one but me. I write a master list and do 2-3 tasks a day. Even a basic thing as wash dry dry put away clothes. I normally do more though. Go outside every day even for 5 minutes and look up in the sky. Also be your own cheerleader. No one else will be doing it.

Mel... because of you I’m finally making my apartment that I moved into in April 2021 look awesome. I DID NOT want to move here and just couldn’t get my stuff put away ; organize; decorate etc. I started watching your videos a couple of weeks ago and girl I am on a roll. I’m in an abusive marriage ( separated right now) as well. I feel I can handle that now as well...step by step. I can ask for help. Or get a good job somewhere else. Who knows. I can take the spiritual aspects of my personality and my hope toward God day by day with your techniques and move forward. Thank you, thank you soooo much ... Doc to you for having her on your Podcast.

I've been watching this video and I simply have to say something. When I was 17 and attending Alateen, as the daughter of an alcoholic, I was told by my counselor to do this simple task daily.. I was to wake up and go to the bathroom mirror, look at myself and say... I LOVE YOU! As hard as it was, because I didn't really mean it, I continued to do this and before I knew it.... I DID begin to realize that I wasn't the problem and that I DID love myself. I believe this saved my life. I believe that this High-5 in the mirror works exactly the same. Good job Mel for bringing this out in to the open for people to reconnect with who they really are!!!!

"Success is not the source of self love." Powerful video. Thank you for sharing ❤️

@teresatriumph2780

2 жыл бұрын

Yeah! Agreed! That's so backwards.

She is correct about her voice not being annoying. First thing I thought to myself when I tuned in, I can actually listen to her. So I did. Good one.

Mel you still deserve some of the credit. You gave us the step that was needed to help us help ourselves. Rock on Girl!

Every single word she said is like a cold splash of ice water on my face! It's so real and true! Thank you!

I woke up this morning with one goal, focus on building the new me. I went to KZread to find a meditation on motivation and this video was on the feed without even doing a search maybe because I had been listening to Mel Robbins lately. It was has been exactly what I needed to hear. An awakening and turning point. Thank you for sharing it!

@rvfitnesscorner6058

2 жыл бұрын

Im curious.. How is it going on building your new you?☺️

@maryannanderson5964

Жыл бұрын

My mom passed away 2years ago,my dad is in stage 4 lung cancer they where married 62 years I'm the third child of 8 siblings,our mom was the nucleus of our family the everything for everybody, I'm so praying that this video will help me help and heel my family!!! Thank you both for this beautiful video,my God bless you all

@sharonrogers6541

6 ай бұрын

​@@maryannanderson5964thank you for sharing your experience strength and hope, deeply sorry for your loss, so proud of you and grateful❤❤❤❤

"You know what you need to do." This is SO TRUE.

Mel seems like one of us. She meets us as an equal, not someone who dictates from on high. Thank you for giving so many of us the courage to change.

Today is my 2nd High Five day. I also started reading The High Five Habit, and towards the end of chapter one I felt something click inside me. This is very difficult to describe. I felt there was another person with me, a separate entity that was just like me but felt lighter emotionally. I knew instinctively she was there for me (supportive). The regular me was still there, but she was diminiished and had a darkness about her. I know how crazy this sounds, but I will keep reading and High Fiving to see where it takes me. ❤

@DionneRoxanne

2 жыл бұрын

Great testimony! I hope you continue to enjoy the journey. You've inspired me to start reading the book❣️

@lesliehobby7266

2 жыл бұрын

I don’t have the book but I’m definitely going to continue the work.

@sreeladevi1780

Жыл бұрын

Isnt this not only a feeling of inferiority complex but also de consequences ie whch is lack of self confidence dear ??

@milecasimpson465

Жыл бұрын

I understand completely!! You just described me!

@xoari8475

6 ай бұрын

This is literally beautiful. That version of you is patiently awaiting to call your mind “home”. Your comment really resonated with me thank you for sharing!

Constant exposure to quickly digestible, short content (social media, tiktok) has ruined our attention span. Not everything is a 30 second video! I love the length, I listened to it in several pieces.

It is so important for all of us to learn to love ourselves 1st. That’s what this gesture does. It is a great assist for our mental and spiritual health.

@le_th_

2 жыл бұрын

That sounds a lot like all or nothing thinking...."all of us"? Some people love themselves so much that they genuinely believe they are above the rule and law of society and the social contract, and they feel entitled to special treatment because they perceive themselves as "special" and/or "unique". They believe this because their parents told them this when they were children...i.e. "We're better or different than "them". That goes hand in hand with an "us versus them" mentality. I could definitely could get on board with the fact that we "all" need to learn a HEALTHY degree/level of love for ourselves. There are pathological levels of self love out there, and that is the antithesis of healthy. There is a lot of "I'm special and entitled to special treatment or "I'm terminally unique...just call me a unicorn. Some people TRULY believe that, they're not just saying it in jest. Healthy self love....not the kind of self-love that is pathological and places you and your needs above the greater good, or places you "above" or "better than" others. There is already too much of that in the world, as it is.

It is like something I read 40 years ago in Reader's Digest... Every morning when you shave or brush your teeth say to yourself "Today is going to be a good day". Being happy is a conscious decision... and it has worked for me, but it is always good to see a new way :)

@solobee

Жыл бұрын

Readers Digest 💙💙

Ok ive been depreesed since i was a young girl like i remember trying to take my own life at 11 yrs old . Now im 58, and i tryed again just last sring almost succeeded. But i was brought back to life. Now i hear you talking to just me i will try this little steps. Thank you

Omg! This is SOOOOO true. Here I am watching yet another youtube video on self help telling myself I am getting closer to my goal!

@laurielynne2006

2 жыл бұрын

Right!?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

I like that “finding our way back home to ourself”

I did it this morning I gave myself the high-five it’s very hard to put it into words the experience. I was actually nervous before I did it. While I was doing it and I looked into my eyes I saw the little girl. I saw her I felt seen I felt connected to the person in the mirror and it felt good. I felt a bit awkward because it’s my first time but it’s all good and I’m glad I did it and I plan on doing it again.

Looking at the mirror, say to yourself: "I love you/ it's ok to make mistakes sometimes/ good job for trying anyway!.. you will be judged, you will be criticized, you will feel trapped into putting what other people think or need first; you, in your mind will assume you are to blame for almost everything; others will play favorites, they won't appreciate nor praise you, won't thank you, nor bless you, they won't say hi to you, smile at you, or trust you; so what? I love you.. you will make mistakes, excuses, make bad choices, blame others, feel confused, be lied to and cheated, rewarded evil for your good, and hatred for your love, you will be triggered by small things, to lose your temper, life sucks; so what? you're going to be ok.. I love you/ good job!.. we can get through this.. I love you.. you can change or not.. they will like you or not.. and I love you/ it's ok to make bad choices sometimes/ good job for your efforts, for going on your small adventures, coming back, never the same again.. act like the person you want to become, act like the calm, mature, stable, responsible, truthful adult you needed and deserved when you were a child.. you’re loyal, smart, an amazing human being, and hard-working. it's never too late to have a happy childhood; to meet the unmet needs of your childhood.." High five yourself.. count 5-4-3-2-1 and do what you really want to do.. resolve your childhood trauma/ the source of all that negative whispers and grumblings in your head.. groan and cry out to God.. don’t whisper or grumble, instead, you can groan and cry out to Him.. and thank Him, during good times and bad/unreasonable/and unfair times. Romans 8:28 “All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Genesis 50:20 “You meant evil against me, but God used it for good.” Matthew 18:7 “Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to the person through whom the stumbling block comes! Luke 23:34 NASB “But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” Acts 20:35 “In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” John 16:22 “So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.“ Job 1:21-22 “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked I shall return there. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away. Blessed be the name of the LORD. Despite all this, Job did not sin, nor did he blame God.” Mark 14:36 “And he said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.””

Damn she's good. Watched one of her TED talks years ago and thought she was terrific then but this interview you did with her here really brought it home. Her personal transparency combined with her straightforward delivery make her completely credible to me and make it easy to see that she knows of what she speaks because she's lived it and worked it and now genuinely wants to help others to do the same.

@mariaadkins1726

10 ай бұрын

❤you are so awesome

@jennifervictore5471

7 ай бұрын

How can you have a successful TV series... Successful book sales... And say your dad paid for your groceries. Did I miss something.

I just had to do the countdown to make myself walk up to the mirror and do the high five 😂 My first response was ‘YES! I want this!” and immediately, the resistance kicked in. Then, I kicked back 💜🖐

@megyoung9303

2 жыл бұрын

Okey dokey...do this one thing...for each negatory thought thaty comes, write in in a left column...THEN, find a positive thing and write it in the right column...hey, it can be as simple as "i pout on clean underwear" or I tied my shoes... orthe bill that needs paying is in my hand...start with the most simple and work up. which side sounds stronger today...hey, I'm going for the clean undies! Blessings, zMeg (don't forget to laugh at your wondrous selkf once today...this your best friend!)

I have a card on my mirror from myself to myself that reads: YOU'RE AMAZING! No one tells me that but me. I also look in the mirror and tell myself "I LOVE YOU!" I don't do it every day, but listening to this, I will now adopt this practice every morning. Thank you, Mel Robbins!

I'm close to tears right now. I fell asleep with KZread on and your video came on and entered my dream but it was 2 different people in the dream but you and mels real voice talking from the video. I hears the high 5 part but in the dream I heard something about thoughts affecting the nervous system and I said I need to speak to her maybe she can help me heal. Then I woke up and realised what happened. I woke up with paralysis In 2016 and I'm still not healed. I need to talk to Mel urgently

Mel Robbins ……….first time I am hearing and seeing you. I am intrigued and must here more !

I've been so busy taking care of my parents it seems like I have no time because they are both bed bound 90 year olds. Also she described me to a t, I've got every single book self-help book that you can think of and watch so many videos and yet life is still the same. We need to apply at some point.

@cathyannetysinger7000

2 жыл бұрын

You can do this😊

@DJ-ri9fq

6 ай бұрын

God will bless you❤

I’m going to try this for 5 days (and longer, for sure) to see what happens. I do like myself and consider myself a happy person and without any major hang ups that I can think of, but, like many people I am too critical of myself. At the first look in the mirror every morning I hear the voices saying, “ugh, you’re looking old today, is that wrinkle getting deeper? What’s with the bags under the eyes”? Not helpful. Already an upward battle to get myself in a happier and healthier mindset, even if subconsciously. I’m excited for the overflow of self-love.

It is wild that I’m watching this video right now. I literally had this experience last week where I stood in the mirror and “met” myself. It was wild. I realized in that moment that I had previously always been looking past myself, avoiding my reflection because I was on an autopilot of self rejection that started with my own image. Divine confirmation. Thank you Mel and Dr. Ragan. This was powerful.

One of the most insightful and life-altering conversations on all of KZread.

I never spend 2+ hrs watching this kind of video, but I did today. This was great. Thanks so much. Now I know what I'll be doing with my next Audible credits!

The way she controls this interview is amazing 🤩

This is absolutely mind blowing, I’m experiencing a unbelievable spiritual experience Ive ever had in my life the last few weeks, I can’t believe this video popped up on my phone.. PERFECT TIMING I walked away from 100k job to release my stress and anxiety. I was mentally in a very bad place. Once I finally left the job I have been overly blessed with happiness, better health, and clearer and better decisions making. It’s truly mind blowing.. Can’t wait to share my story one day!!

@vfred5109

2 жыл бұрын

I had similar situation. My shoulders would hurt everyday. After leaving that job, I realize my back and shoulder pain was stress Because it no longer hurts. Take care of "You".

@vfred5109

2 жыл бұрын

Would love to hear your story.

This was absolutely worth all 2 hours 20 mins and 22 seconds !! Love it so much thank you !!!!!!!!!

@evl457

7 ай бұрын

I am procrastinating by listening to this 😂

Procrastination can be tiredness or what feels like tiredness, exhaustion. Long term tiredness can be due to depression which many people have in this cruel world. I like Mel's honesty ie she doesn't try to look like a genius superior to the rest of us. She realises that people including herself can stop being overwhelmed with a simple behaviour. I havent tried yet but i will

I'm so grateful for this video and that it randomly popped up in my KZread feed. Tonight I couldn't sleep because my mind and body were wide awake despite it being past midnight. I opened up KZread to see if something could bore me into a restful state. I know that goes against all the things people recommend to help one fall asleep but that's where my thoughts were. I'm not sure what made me click on this video but I'm so glad I did. I have shared the link with two other people I know before I was even half way through the video because I know that if they'll make the time to watch this they can have a better life too. I'm now ready to get to bed but not because I was bored to death but because I feel relaxed, happy and hopeful about my future and about dealing with my day tomorrow. I'm ready to treat myself better and to see my life as choices I've made instead of things that have happened to me. I've been praying for months that I'll receive the tools I need to be better and receive the information on how to use them. I truly believe that watching this video is just the beginning to my prayers being answered. Thank you for making this available to so many people for free including myself. I deeply appreciate it.

Day 1 of the five day high five challenge: I've high fived myself several times, my coworkers and customers when it seemed appropriate. I'm having fun with it!

This video and the testimonies therein touched me so deeply. I was listening to it while I was putting on my makeup, Tears kept streaming down my cheek to the point I could not put on any more make-up until i could let the tears pass by. Thank you Dr Rangan and Mel for sharing these messages.

Thank you so much.. I live in massive pain daily and I am disabled from a work injury and have had such a hard time with life I had to move out of the State to get away from the consistent reminder of the employer. My Doctor wants me to get ketamine IV treatment to reset my brain from pain. I want to thank you so much for the explanation on how our brain can reset. Thank you again. Bonni

I do procrastinate but it's not because I don't want to do it but because I lost my husband and am lost in everyday life. Losing him took away a big part of my life, where I just can't pick myself up. I've been applying for so many jobs and nothing and with this happening. I feel even worst about myself, not knowing how to drive, also stops me from moving forward but being scared about not having him around feels worst.

@poetrygirl5309

9 ай бұрын

Oh my goodness dear one. You are in my prayers.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I haven’t read her book but can relate to her message because it was me finally taking just one step that led me out of a miserable 12 year marriage I felt so stuck in. I led me right out the door. It works

Wow! Never heard of Mel Robbins OR Dr. Chatterjee before, but she completely described me in 5 minutes! FOLLOWING!!!

Humility is the most beautiful quality and extremely rare! This is my first time seeing / hearing Mel! It s wonderful that you are empowering people to motivate themselves!!! Who wants the vanity of fame! Fame is just a stage of actors ! YOU ARE REAL!!! Thanks Mel and thanks doc for the amazing podcasts 🌹

@meditationforgrowth

2 жыл бұрын

Also work on who you are instead of who you think you are. To many people are authentic today which is why they are stuck

Holy mother of God, this woman is my doppelganger! So happy to find her, bc I am SO deeply stuck I'm not sure UP is even an option. Thanks for some very touching comments and confessions, everyone!

I've even feeling stuck in over thinking with anxiety for a long time but listening to this video makes more sense and and understanding that I can change with the simplest of actions....thankyou so much for the inspiration

I found Mel’s videos after watching her show on TV. I love her. She’s down to earth, honest and talks from her life and work experience, and her heart. She’s a shaman and a natural healer. I share her videos with all my friends and family, male and female. I thought she was a Psychiatrist but, the fact that she isn’t makes her even more real to me. I believe that her work with Domestic Violence victims led her from being a lawyer to who she is today. She found her true path. You can see that she’s intelligent, well read and does her own research. I hope she keeps sharing her wisdom and, I wish her countless blessings.

First, I rarely even click on a KZread video that requires more than a potential 20-30 time commitment and even then I often find it difficult to get through the entire thing but I clicked on this because of the impact you have both had in my life at various times through the use of your methods, tools, and advice. Second, I rarely leave a comment but as I am nearing the end of the video I’m compelled to write because of the story Mel shared about taking selfies with her daughters and the subsequent discussion and discoveries. I am a single 48 year old mother to a 7 year old daughter and have made it a conscious choice to praise her in a more “wholistic” way and recently she has started complimenting me in return - mirroring my words back to me - which has been surprising difficult for me to hear at times. And although I have the good sense to not argue with her ( I simply thank her and just let it be) I rarely allow myself to align to the FEELING that matches the compliments she is sending my way. It’s like I look at her and think “if only you knew the ugly truth”. That’s a problem that I need to rectify in myself….urgently. So whatever it was that prompted that moment in the conversation, I thank you both. More than anything in the world, I have strived to be the kind of mother that I needed but didn’t have. I think I’m doing a great job for the most part - dealing with my own childhood “crap” in a vacuum so I can raise a healthy and emotionally intelligent child but it’s a lonely and confusing road at times. It’s moments like this that are like a loving tap on the shoulder reminding me that I’m doing great but that there is always more in terms of opportunity when it comes to setting good examples for our children. I truly appreciate both of you for your vulnerability and the sharing of real and recent examples of moments in your personal journeys when you must continue to challenge yourself to use your own tools. Bravo for this collaboration and for the individual contributions made by both of you!

@RosettiSpaghettti

10 ай бұрын

You are beautiful! I love your comment and can see how much you care. You are doing an amazing job!

I was watching a Koren drama yesterday called "It's ok not to be ok" and one of the characters is an autistic guy who got really stressed and violent easily and his younger brother always used to advise him to count backward when he feels this to prevent him from lashing out. There's also another character who is quite broken and he also advised her to do the same. In one scene she wanted to stab someone but stopped and counted and then totally changed her mind. This is just so cool

Tony Robbins and Mel Robbins both motivating the masses.