“I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?” -Diogenes

@ZOCCOK

3 жыл бұрын

@@omidhassani4988 damn, that was not a burn, it was the entire sun

@dixienormus5868

3 жыл бұрын

Well he was lucky the man was not asian sorry force of habit

@expanddong3102

3 жыл бұрын

@@dixienormus5868 I'm an Asian and you know what? I'm not even mad

@DivideBy0705

3 жыл бұрын

@@omidhassani4988 damnnnn what a comment stealer you are cuz i can clearly see that exact comment over This one

@omidhassani4988

3 жыл бұрын

@@DivideBy0705 it’s literally something he said. I’m just telling some more stories of Diogenes

Fun fact, after that whole “blocking the sun” line, Alexander, unfazed, said “if I was not Alexander, I would want to be Diogenes” to which Diogenes responded “if I was not Diogenes, I would still want to be Diogenes.” The madman.

@sonicboomers122

4 жыл бұрын

This is the definition of King Shit.

@ostangvulkahn1875

4 жыл бұрын

Fucking legend

@shannonsmith8115

4 жыл бұрын

Fuckin rebel

@skeya6790

3 жыл бұрын

Self-love

@4plus4equalsmoo

3 жыл бұрын

if i was you, i'd wanna be me too

Another Alexander - Diogenes story is this. Diogenes asked Alexander what he was going to do with that big army of his, to which Alexander replied that he was going to conquer the world. So Diogenes then asked, "What will you do after you have conquered the world?" and Alexander replied "I will rest and enjoy my time." To that Diogenes replied "Well, look at me, I am resting and enjoying my time, and I didn't need to conquer the world to do it."

@mrtrollnator123

Жыл бұрын

Bro violated the most dangerous man in the world 💀

@joshuapena4684

Жыл бұрын

So many quotes I've never heard

@hasanmuttaqin464

10 ай бұрын

This wasn't diogenes

@WxnderXfU

10 ай бұрын

That’s the lamest quote from Diogenes I have ever heard jesus christ

@Butter_Warrior99

10 ай бұрын

I don’t care if this is made up by an ai, Blud would say this.

they killed socrates for asking too many questions yet they gave the guy literally pissing and shitting on people a pass 💀

@blueberry1vom1t

Жыл бұрын

to be fair he smelled like shit and was surrounded by an army of loyal dogs who followed him around everywhere. Yeah a side note people leave out is that he loved dogs and they loved him. So I guess people wanted to get rid of him, but didn't wanna deal with getting a big enough group of people to get close to his small army of dogs, who would absolutely give them the most infected bite wounds that side of the eastern hemisphere.

@standingwhilepooping4685

Жыл бұрын

So what, I see nothing wrong with this.

@KnightoftheSorryFace

Жыл бұрын

@@urmomsmomsmom The jester can speak freely, for nothing he says truly seems to matter

@Spleens854

7 ай бұрын

@@KnightoftheSorryFace dude roasted the so hard they deleted the comment

@KnightoftheSorryFace

7 ай бұрын

@@Spleens854 I don't think that was even against the person I replied to, I'm pretty sure I just saw an opportunity to reference a line I really liked in reference to whatever they said

"The only place to spit in a rich man's home is his face" -Diogenes

@lyndsayshirkey5228

5 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@Yalikejazzboi

4 жыл бұрын

The only place to cum*

@willrope5839

4 жыл бұрын

Ya like jizz ?

@OOf-yi8ko

4 жыл бұрын

DIO

@AlexeiAstergold

4 жыл бұрын

And he was right

I don't think you quite managed to capture the pure HYPE of Diogenese kicking down the door of a lecture theatre, holding a plucked chicken above his head, screaming *"BEHOLD A MAN!"*

@iacopoguidi7871

4 жыл бұрын

"Behold Plato's man!"

@greekfreak0482

4 жыл бұрын

Please explain

@janaterbio8010

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@prototype6706

4 жыл бұрын

@@greekfreak0482 Plato said man is a "featherless biped" so Dio the Mano kicked his door in flaunting a, well, featherless chicken. *PLATO'S MAN, BEHOLD*

@user-ni3rz7go9k

4 жыл бұрын

Diogenes an intellectual and rarely a gentle type but 100% MAN.

My favorite anecdote of him was when some demagogue tried to debate him saying that "motion" did not actually exist, he just stood up and walked away lmao

@jellyfish0311

Жыл бұрын

I wish I remembered his name. Funniest response to that guy imo.

@madelinesydney92

Жыл бұрын

@@jellyfish0311 his name was Zeno :3

@jellyfish0311

Жыл бұрын

@@madelinesydney92 thank you :)

@mewmew8932

Жыл бұрын

@@madelinesydney92 wasn't he the OG non-believer of motion

@gregoryhayes7569

Жыл бұрын

@@mewmew8932 Parmenides was "the OG non-believer of motion". Zeno was a follower of Parmenides known for trying to actually prove that motion was impossible.

The whole, “Behold! Plato’s Man!” moment is so much funnier when you realise that Diogenes was a malnourished homeless man and Plato was an Olympic Wrestling Champion. Just some skin-and-bones guy throws a limp featherless chicken down in front of one of the most famous celebrities of his time and basically shouts, “FUCK YOU” in front of all his fans. I love it.

@sideways5153

Жыл бұрын

I love the detail that Plato’s response to all that was so weak he just picked some other feature which could also just be ripped from or added to a chicken carcass

@joshc5613

Жыл бұрын

like some homeless dude interrupting Dwayne Johnson during an interview 💀

@knowahnosenothing4862

Жыл бұрын

If only he was alive to see these threads.

@muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028

4 ай бұрын

i have saw some post that claim that there is an occurence where Plato trying to win an argument with someone just by flexing his bicep funny he never try that with Diogenes

@Sarah12471

3 ай бұрын

​@@muhamadsyukribinhairuddin2028 i mean plato could definitely do an arm wrestle and win

Alexander found the philosopher looking attentively at a pile of human bones. Diogenes explained, "I am searching for the bones of your father but cannot distinguish them from those of a slave."

@funnylittlecreature

4 жыл бұрын

man that's just like what joe said the other day

@lettuce7273

4 жыл бұрын

@@funnylittlecreature who's joe

@fall-from-grace1008

4 жыл бұрын

@@lettuce7273 JOE MAMA

@lettuce7273

4 жыл бұрын

Fall-From-Grace ya got me

@lettuce7273

4 жыл бұрын

Pluto the Forgotten one I think my friend Juan woulda gotten it tbh

"Diogenes, what are your reccomendations on the best kind of wine?" "Somebody else's"

@My6119

4 жыл бұрын

Underrated comment lol

@hinicetomeetya5582

3 жыл бұрын

“Joseph Joestar’s blood”

@chaircrusaders1257

3 жыл бұрын

@@hinicetomeetya5582 FINALLY, THE COMMENT I WAS LOOKING FOR

@workhardism

3 жыл бұрын

He answer: "I hate everything". Get it, thats a wine (whine).

@kishascape

3 жыл бұрын

Huh, maybe I need to start documenting the rantings of modern day crazy homeless people. I mean we have photography and video now. Who knows maybe people will end up considering them philosophers too.

There was a time when he witnessed an archer who was trying to hit a target but kept failing. Diogenes proceeded to stand in front of the target, declaring: " This is the safest spot."

@SertWasAName

Жыл бұрын

So he basically insulted someone’s aim thousands of years before gaming

@owliestowlyowl6037

Жыл бұрын

@@SertWasAName I think he meant "Stop trying so hard lol"

@Flesh_Wizard

Жыл бұрын

@@SertWasAName "lol git güd noob" - Diogenes of Sinope

@LeviForWaifu

Жыл бұрын

The absolute savagery

@siliconhawk9293

Жыл бұрын

call a ambulance but not for me

Nearly 9000 comments and no one has mentioned this anecdote of Diogenes: When the city where he lived was about to be attacked by an army, everybody started to panic and ran around aimlessly. Diogenes saw that, took his barrel and started to push it up a hill. Once he was up, he rolled it down again, and started over. When people came and asked why he was rolling his barrel up and down the hill he said: "I am just trying to make myself as useful as everybody else here"

@user-mg7wh8zq6v

2 жыл бұрын

i like to think even the soldiers was puzzled enough to halt fighting and look at his shenanigans

@CoralCopperHead

2 жыл бұрын

I can't tell if this was the inspiration for the boulder-pushing punishment in Greek mythology, or if he heard about that fable and then decided to re-enact it for shits and giggles.

@user-dq6og5cw4c

2 жыл бұрын

@@CoralCopperHead I am fairly sure that the myth came first, so probably the second one.

@JaelinBezel

2 жыл бұрын

Okay but imagine if no one asked him what he was doing. How long would he have kept it up?

@user-Prometheus

2 жыл бұрын

Another anecdote about him: He would usually carry a lamp with him during the day wherever he went, and when people asked him why he was carrying a lamp, he would reply that he is in search of an honest man. An “honest man” meaning that the entirety of Athens is corrupt, and nothing like a democracy.

Diogenes clowned on Plato so hard we still talk about it thousands out years later

@muchwithamouthdogepool255

3 жыл бұрын

What? He really did unfeathered a chicken?

@denisveliu973

3 жыл бұрын

@@muchwithamouthdogepool255 yes he did and plato had to change his term of a human.

@Benxall

3 жыл бұрын

@@muchwithamouthdogepool255 fuker walked in, said "behold! A man!" And left. Absolute fucking legend

@ardademir1661

3 жыл бұрын

@@muchwithamouthdogepool255 you thought this video was fake?

@kartoffelwillipeter3067

3 жыл бұрын

*ancient greek hobo makes a fool out of reknown philosopher * _people thousands of years later:_ lmao gottem

When he was called out for touching himself in public he said “ if I could only rub my belly and make hunger go away.” He must have been really annoying. What a legend.

@neckashi6971

9 ай бұрын

What does this mean?

@kylebaird7218

9 ай бұрын

It’s a smart way of saying he is the bottom of society and leaving him alone is the best course of action for everyone involved.

@Boxygirl96

9 ай бұрын

@@neckashi6971 ‘while I can’t rub my belly to dispel my hunger I can very much rub my d*** to dispel my need for pleasure. So f*** off’

@ajasilikonreffkmimmon

7 ай бұрын

​@@neckashi6971He is masturbating

@wilby8249

5 ай бұрын

​@@kylebaird7218 isnt it more like he rubs his dick and horniness goes away and wishes the same for hunger??

Surprising how nobody has mentioned when Diogenes was exiled from his city he replied, "I condemn you to live in this city".

@invurret9533

5 ай бұрын

Didn't he get kicked out for debasing and hyperinflating the local currency too?

@vittoriof.8088

3 ай бұрын

How can a homeless man hyperinflate a local currency?

@invurret9533

3 ай бұрын

@vittoriof.8088 He was the son of the Mintmaster of Sinope and became his father's apprentice. Then he debased the currency (which lead to hyperinflation), was banished and ended up as the homeless man in Athens. Edit: Found out why he did it: He went to the oracle of Delphi and was told to debase the currency, and after the Sinope incident, decided that the oracle meant the political currency.

@vittoriof.8088

3 ай бұрын

@@invurret9533 Damn, thats something you don't learn in school.

@skeletonbuyingpealts7134

3 ай бұрын

​@@invurret9533what a chad

Don’t forget when Alexander the Great asked Diogenes why he was digging through a pile of bones, and Diogenes said, “I was looking for your father, but I can’t dispute his bones with that of a slave.”

@cyberdiver7076

3 жыл бұрын

Damn I think Alexander got 3rd degree burn from that roast

@cpegg5840

3 жыл бұрын

Olympias would have found that hilarious if she were present

@thegoldengamer9315

3 жыл бұрын

Third degree burns.

@TheNinja94a

3 жыл бұрын

Okay why is Diogenes just straight roasting Alexander-is there like, a history or something? Does Diogenes not like the imbalance of power a monarchy has, and insults Alexander as a result? Edit: Googled it, since after posting this comment, I realized that anything that I can type here can be typed into a URL. Yeah, it was the second one. He disliked Alex's want for power.

@jmr2343

3 жыл бұрын

Cockroach yup.

When Diogenes was to be sold to slavery, he was asked which task he was best at. He replied, "Being a master."

I am downright appalled that Diogenes isn't talked about as nearly as he should be his life story is completely insane

@rosethunder3820

5 ай бұрын

The fact we still know so much about him today says everything

Greek philosophers were the edgelords of the ancient world.

@IchCharacter

6 жыл бұрын

And Geek philosophers are the edgelords of modern time. How curious.

@Goldenheart_345

6 жыл бұрын

I wish I found you sooner

@bauhausa6933

6 жыл бұрын

ShnoogleMan of course,fucking anybody is a edgelord..Fucking Hell

@jafrost1328

5 жыл бұрын

Ever seen a modern philosophy lecture? Filled with fedoras and mens rights activists

@judgeholden6761

5 жыл бұрын

@@jafrost1328 Very true but like I've also seen tumblr thread attempts to be philosophical and between the two mirror-copy yin-yang lonely self-obsessed polar opposites that are the neckbeard and the tumblr "SJW" or whatever, I'll take the smelly narcissist who can at least articulate abstract thought logically over the magical thinking electric blue-haired identity wizard who tries to weaponize personal weakness and moral superiority any day xD

“The wise man at the nudist beach covers not his balls, but his face” -Diogenes (I think)

@b4594

3 жыл бұрын

Wise words from a wise man

@causticmain7477

3 жыл бұрын

@@b4594 a wise man indeed

@kikiretzorg1467

3 жыл бұрын

Hmm, yes, very wise

@causticmain7477

3 жыл бұрын

@@kikiretzorg1467 have you heard the story of Darth Plagueis the wise

@microwave8931

3 жыл бұрын

This sounds like something he would say

Diogenes' had a student named Menippus who was also a Cynic. Lucian wrote some stories about Menippus going to the Underworld and in one of them Menippus has a conversation with Cerberus and it's basically just him going "gods you're really living the dream as a dog"

@skeletonbuyingpealts7134

3 ай бұрын

Diogenes had an army of dogs, right?

Digenes living till 89 at that time period is insane

@taureanbeaver3203

Ай бұрын

It's probably not nearly as insane as we've been misled to believe. We get the message that life was exceedingly miserable and short from the same systems that educated the orphans of genocidal conquests. Central authoritarians have no rational justification for their positions, so it's necessary to instill fears based on lies as the only acceptable common knowledge in order to maintain followers who dutifully perform their services and enlist their children in armies. I would guess that the average lifespan of hermits who live on berries in the mountains is longer than the average affluent person hustling through life under the baseless and un-perceived oppression of cultural norms of any false society which can't function within the limitations of Dunbar's number. My theory is that a true human society would result in much higher average lifespans for the tribe. It would, in fact, at the very least remove the burden of cognitive dissonance and afford a better quality of life than any amount of toys, widgets or sideshows could ever provide.

@kargaroc386

Ай бұрын

If you got past early childhood, you had a decent enough chance to get to just about the same age as nowadays.

@Susanoo1016

19 күн бұрын

He was also a dumpster diver

@andrejmicic5192

13 күн бұрын

Yea most people at that time didn’t make it to their 60s,and this bro was shitting and pissing on people living in disgusting conditions until 89,if that dog didn’t bite him bro would have lived to 100 or more

"I am Alexander, I can offer you literally anything." "k fam, get outta my way"

@TheCutePyro

7 жыл бұрын

flames 64 The most powerful man in the world said he will do anything for you and you ask him to get out of your way.

@maelgugi

7 жыл бұрын

Reese Frohlich Actually it's a pretty deep request, basically he said "let me live my life the way I want it to be without the interference of big government or pointless random norms imposed by society"... or maybe he was already in his way, I guess we'll never know

@candy2712

7 жыл бұрын

maelgugi "live my live"

@maelgugi

7 жыл бұрын

flames 64 Thanks for helping my english

@candy2712

7 жыл бұрын

maelgugi np

You forgot the further interaction between Alexander the Great & Diogenes. After he told him to quit blocking his sunlight, Alexander, in awe of Diogenes' testicular fortitude, told him "if I were not already Alexander, I would wish to be you." To which Diogenes responded "If I weren't me, I'd want to be me too."

@kamai9440

4 жыл бұрын

Badass

@Noway022

4 жыл бұрын

And then the whole class stood up and started clapping

@kamai9440

4 жыл бұрын

@@Noway022 diogenes: I'm gonna dab on those emperor's

@mfrommi6593

4 жыл бұрын

Thug Life

@calmdown5559

4 жыл бұрын

It's literally in the video...

That bit where he wanted to be thrown into the wilderness after he died had another part to it. He was discussing this with someone, and they asked why he would allow his body to be torn to shreds. He responded “Well then, I’ll ask them to give me a knife so I can defend myself.” After the obvious “what are you going to do with a knife, you’ll be dead,” he responded with “Then why should I care what happens to me?”

@keebri2751

25 күн бұрын

The perfect comeback lol

The Greek for when Diogenes told Alexander to move apparently has a double meaning. Alternatively meaning “enlighten me”. Which makes it even more cool

Diogenes carried a lit lantern through the streets in broad daylight, when asked why he carries a lantern he'd reply that he was "fruitlessly searching for a sincere man/person".

@ILOVEDILFS42069

3 жыл бұрын

"The mad man"

@p1ntu_

3 жыл бұрын

Is this true?

@witherblaze

3 жыл бұрын

@@p1ntu_ no. It's a story made up by Nietzche

@cdogthehedgehog6923

3 жыл бұрын

What he actually meant by this was he was looking for a "real human being" because he didn't think humans were real. Seriously.

@witherblaze

3 жыл бұрын

@@cdogthehedgehog6923 wha?

Most historians agree that he was the first true living meme

@baronvonbeandip

4 жыл бұрын

9/10 dentists also agree.

@hoolio5659

4 жыл бұрын

And the

@tarrahforcier477

4 жыл бұрын

@@baronvonbeandip nah, 10/10

@krafter8652

4 жыл бұрын

666th like

@kegleg20

4 жыл бұрын

A true mad lad

Once plato saw him washing vegetables in a river and plato said: If you knew how to court kings you wouldnt have to wash vegetables. To this dio said: If uou knew how to wash vegetables you wouldnt have to court kings.

Diogenes is the epidemy of pure logic. Everything he does is just the embodiment of ones simple and unexplicable desires, without all the symbolic bullshit around it. He was living life just for being and existing. By far the most down to earth guy who wasn't afraid of the hard, cold and simple truth. Ever.

@DarrelWatkins77

2 ай бұрын

You’re so stupid😂

The best thing about Diogenes' death is that he used it as a final lesson. When people protested about throwing his dead body to the forest, diogenes replied "Fine, then strap a sword or stick in my hand so I may fight them off." when people then replied with the obvious fact that he wouldn't be alive nor conscious to fend them off, he fired back "then I suppose I won't conscious enough to CARE what happens to me, will I?"

@diretnandomnan6060

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂 fucking cynic

@elliotwright6823

3 жыл бұрын

shrek DSMN IT SPOILERS I DIDNT WANT TO KNOWMIF HE DIED

@elliotwright6823

3 жыл бұрын

Oh I forgot I have go d autocorrected to shrek

@cheems2739

3 жыл бұрын

Perfect Events me too 😂

@zejdland

3 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/onuOvMSlXZfJebQ.html

After Diogenes’s plucking a chicken stunt, Plato actually changed his definition of a human to ‘A featherless biped with flat broad nails.’ Which is fucking hilarious.

@rigbyshaun5580

3 жыл бұрын

He didn’t go with like flightless, but the shape of T O E N A I L S

@KittyPants.

3 жыл бұрын

Why the toenails tho?

@rigbyshaun5580

3 жыл бұрын

@@KittyPants. don’t you know? Chickens have broad fingernails

@KittyPants.

3 жыл бұрын

@@rigbyshaun5580 just got done eating and this is what is come back too

@KittyPants.

3 жыл бұрын

@@rigbyshaun5580 the even funnier thing is that I have chickens

You thought "behold, a man" was a stupid meme from the internet, when in fact it was I, DIOgenes!

@adrianjamesdelfin7414

2 ай бұрын

このディオだ！

I remember when this video came out, I thought it was really one of the funniest videos. Now 5 years later I’m using it as a source in my philosophy thesis lol

@thetexan1011

Жыл бұрын

How did it go?

@bierwolf8360

Жыл бұрын

you really are putting a lot of effort into your burger-flipping career

@aldrich_leon8547

9 ай бұрын

its been 10 months. how's your thesis going?

@MountainsAreCool

23 күн бұрын

RESPOND BACK. ARE YOU "nigga rich" YET?

@MountainsAreCool

23 күн бұрын

RESPOND BACK. ARE YOU "nigga rich" YET?

when we talked about him in school he was apparently some cultured philosopher, but irl he was a living shitpost.

@KittyPants.

3 жыл бұрын

Why is that so accurate tho?

@corinthiaevangeline9023

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like he'd love tumblr

@MasonGreenWeed

2 жыл бұрын

@@corinthiaevangeline9023 before the great purge

@surfboardjoker6299

2 жыл бұрын

@@corinthiaevangeline9023 He'd probably be disgusted with almost every aspect of the internet, and modern society. As he should.

@nubreed13

2 жыл бұрын

A living shit post that also challenged every popular form of thought with logic and reason behind it. Still a crazy ass bastard however

Diogenes after being kidnapped for slavery: Sell me to that man, he's in need of a master.

@Spongebrain97

3 жыл бұрын

@I'm on crack yeah he apparently didnt mind being a slave because he wasnt used for manual labor but was instead a tutor that could lay around in doors

@adams_chong9450

3 жыл бұрын

Fuckin madlad

@Kareltiv

3 жыл бұрын

WOW imagine if pets chose THEIR owners

@JohnSmith-ex8iw

3 жыл бұрын

I swear, this man's tongue is a fucking gun. He murders all with his sharp insults.

@nabkill0134

3 жыл бұрын

The fact that the man indeed buy him is crazy.

Jokes still hold up after all this time. Truly the mark of a talented creator. Glad to have you back

0:17 WELL THAT JUST AGED BADLY

@malodos2295

Жыл бұрын

Wym?

@superwii6091

Жыл бұрын

@@malodos2295He supported Hitler’s actions

@particles.in.motion

Жыл бұрын

LMAOOO😭😭

@qwertyuiop.lkjhgfdsa

Жыл бұрын

no, it aged like wine

@dogeyeslin

4 ай бұрын

Hes still right

Man, shame you didn't mention the part about him walking around with a lantern during the day and shining it in peoples faces saying that he was 'looking for an honest man'.

@TheKhopesh

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, that is a good one. I like how he was actually taken as a slave, and while standing in line to be sold he pointed at one of the potential slave buyers and declared something like "You look like you need a man to run your life for you"... and the guy immediately bought him. Diogenes then spent a few years running the man's household. Everything from the finances to cleaning.

@DLBBALL

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheKhopesh "a years"?

@TheKhopesh

4 жыл бұрын

@@DLBBALL Woops, a few years.

@MrAwesomeLuisreal

4 жыл бұрын

@@TheKhopesh did he also run the man's wife?

@robotmaster4515

4 жыл бұрын

@@MrAwesomeLuisreal Of course when he wasn't looking.

"Some say He just got tired of living and held his breath until he died " Daaaaaaamn, for some reason it sounds so badass

@jinjiyoshi5548

4 жыл бұрын

I heard that's physically impossible as your body would pass out from lack of air and naturally start taking in oxygen again. But I guess it's a lot more likely the older one gets. Either that, or Diogenes just gave a huge middle finger to science itself, meaning that not even it could fully dictate him.

@karna5998

4 жыл бұрын

@@jinjiyoshi5548 yeah I remember when I was in 6th grade, our principal/teacher said that "you can not commit suicide by holding your breathe, you will become unconscious and you will start breathing on autopilot" pretty dark stuff to tell 6th graders lol but that's how it went down

@MineSlimeTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@karna5998 But why did she suddenly said something like that? Sorry for asking such a question my friend

@karna5998

4 жыл бұрын

@@MineSlimeTV I Don't Know Man Haha, Maybe We Are Casual With The Topic Of Death? At that age I didn't understand that it was pretty dark stuff for a 6th grader , because Everyone was like that

@MineSlimeTV

4 жыл бұрын

@@karna5998 Oooh..I see and I was not expecting such a sudden answer! I mostly remember I was in those days questioning and or thinking allot about topics that maybe were controversial at that time. Like me asking who really was "The Virgin Mary" and on my mind discovering the idea of homosexuality as something normal and out of the ordinary. I even thought that african-american and such simply had such "tan" because they stayed a long time on the sun, making me think they just during their youth did a mistake and now their skin suddenly changed. I just..felt to share some odd things that I remeber or I mostly did I hope that was not too.unusual at all

0:50 I always took “he has a bowl but saw a kid drinking from his hands and said ‘what do I need this shit for’ “ as he gave the kid his bowl cuz he was a nice dude, after watching so many times it finally hit me, the bowl is obsolete, he wasn’t being nice and giving the kid the bowl he threw it away because his hands were all he needed 😂😂😂

1:21 "Out with waste" "Out with waste" 💀

My favorite Diogenes quote: In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face, dude hated the one percent before there was a one percent

@soribannon441

3 жыл бұрын

@patrick howard That's why I'm not communist, I'm a democratic socialist.

@abbyfisher8079

3 жыл бұрын

@Christobanistan you act as though liblefts don't exist

@abbyfisher8079

3 жыл бұрын

@beebly revolutionary catalonia

@sarafontanini7051

3 жыл бұрын

diogenese, probably: fuck zeus. *throws his own poop at zeus*

@alverdeo965

3 жыл бұрын

"Cool it with the anti semitic remarks"

"He criticized Plato, disputed his interpretation of Socrates, and sabotaged his lectures, sometimes distracting listeners by bringing food and eating during the discussions." What a guy

@cdemr

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like Gregory House

@youwerethere

Жыл бұрын

Bro was the back of the class

@advin6294

Жыл бұрын

Some say he defecate and probably masturbate in Plato's lecture.

@samiamtheman7379

Жыл бұрын

What does it say about Socrates when Diogenes existed, yet no one ever made him eat poison berries?

@AA-vr8ve

Жыл бұрын

This is just that one kid in every college lecture ever

another fun anecdote: Diogenes was watching an archery contest once, and one of the archers missed his target completely, so Diogenes sat in front of the target and said "this might as well be the safest place"

I have just learned that the guy in Getting Over It is actually a reference to Diogenes. (The guy's name is Diogenes too)

There was also the one about the Archer that kept missing his target in the archery range. Diogenes then sat next to the target saying "this is the safest spot".

@xavi.cat.4095

3 жыл бұрын

Uh... For that to make sense, shouldn't he be in front of the target? Since, you know, it's the target that's he's missing? If he misses the target, which he will, and the arrow goes to the side he's on, the world would lose its first living meme.

@TheKarp

3 жыл бұрын

@@xavi.cat.4095 my bad, misworded. By beside I meant in front of the target

@JC-vp7pd

3 жыл бұрын

@@TheKarpThen edit and fix your comment 😐

@gabrielreda

3 жыл бұрын

@I kissed your dad You should your name

@Tarzan118

3 жыл бұрын

Gabriel Reda you should edit my fat fucking nuts

“In a rich man’s house, there is no place to spit but his face” -Diogenes

@bioemiliano

4 жыл бұрын

You get it wrong, the thing was that "I couldn't find a dirtiest place in all the mansion"

@disbeafakename167

4 жыл бұрын

Poor folks love to misquote this.

@Lambda_Ovine

4 жыл бұрын

The encounter where something like this: Rich asshole after inviting Diogenes to his house: Be careful, you filth. Everything you see is worth more than you. Diogenes: *Spits on his face. Rich asshole: What the fuck?! Diogenes: Sorry, but everything here is worth more than you, and I didn't know where else to spit.

@otakuterrarian5430

4 жыл бұрын

Lets Refer to Diogenes Hence forth as "proto kinda marx"

@joebro2tle257

4 жыл бұрын

@@John-ir4id Fuck you mean then they realise? They're dead they wouldn't be able to realise anything. Also a lot of rich people are famous which means of they die they most likely means their death will be covered on the news and and it will be known across the world. Thousands of people die everyday and I don't see the news covering each and every one. Also way back then rich people were also very powerful and in some way had connections to royalty or a government.

- Acts like a raving lunatic - Tells one of the most powerful people in the world to move out of the way - Dies - Doesn’t elaborate Sigma grindset 😎

Diogenes once saw an archer hopelessly trying to hit a target. Diogenes then sat in front of the target, and said it was the safest place to be

Alternative route- Diogenes covers himself in feathers- I'VE ABANDONED MY HUMANITY PLATO!!!!

@chaircrusaders1257

3 жыл бұрын

DIO was in fact wearing a coat with feathers in that scene. Coincidence?

@SheepSleeper

3 жыл бұрын

@@chaircrusaders1257 I think NOT

@SheepSleeper

3 жыл бұрын

@Captain Bruh yeah, the joke was kinda forced, but they had the spirit

@adrifitz8793

3 жыл бұрын

Here’s the thing, it’s like JoJokes are like 69 gags. Both are not inherently funny nor original, but they tend to pop in the most unlikely of scenarios that you can’t help but chuckle at the stupidity of their existence. They’re still funny, just not in the way one would expect.

@Dokataa

3 жыл бұрын

@@adrifitz8793 I was gonna call you the oingo boingo of stands but you got there in the end

Plato: The definition of human is “featherless biped” Diogenes : I’m about to do what’s called a pro-gamer move

@panzerfich

4 жыл бұрын

*pro-philosopher move

@Balweh1

4 жыл бұрын

I'm about to destroy this man's career.*

@etho7351

4 жыл бұрын

I'm about to end this mans whole career

@tommyzoom9976

4 жыл бұрын

The original troll

@etho7351

4 жыл бұрын

@@tommyzoom9976 except he wasn't a toxic troll he was Somehow noble.

It’s currently 2:23 am on may 29, 2024 and I’m absolutely wasted. This didn’t disappoint

I saw a lot of citations on him but not my favorite, Alexander to make fun of him started calling him dog, and sent to him as a gift one plate full of bones. Diogenes accepted the gift, and sent back the words "Worthy of a dog is this food, unworthy of a king is this gift", the absolute madman

@FragmentedR_YT

3 жыл бұрын

Man, dude really lived in one of the greatest conqueror’s heads rent free.

@owenkasaboski6902

3 жыл бұрын

@@FragmentedR_YT Nah, he straight up got paid to live there. A plate of bones a day keeps death at bay ( some necromancer somewhere idk where i'm going with this )

@konrad8541

3 жыл бұрын

Goddamn

@Batchall_Accepted

2 жыл бұрын

@@FragmentedR_YT Idk about that from what I read on Alexander I think hed have most definitely got a kick out of this shit. He was practically raised by Aristotle and used to hang out with philosophers constantly cause they were the only ones with the balls to talk straight to him. In fact it's when he started straying from that open mindedness after the conquest of Persia, and traded in all his philosopher buddies for yes men and sycophants, is when he started going off the rails and acting tyrannical, and it's theorized that Aristotle was the one who poisoned him cause he was getting out of control.

@kopiko102277

2 жыл бұрын

HAVE YOUR 1K LIKES

There's also the part where he was captured and sold into slavery. Diogenes famously got offended that the guy selling the slaves wasn't representing him well and Diogenes felt he should be worth more. He took the stage and began extolling to the crowd that the most important part of a good slave is the character and wit of the individual. He was purchased by a wealthy Greek family and was kept as a very famous tutor for students. He was regarded as a "lovable menace" about the house until his dying day.

@Name-ot3xw

Жыл бұрын

Gotta love a happy ending

@creating...6001

Жыл бұрын

Lovable menace, hahahahah...

@SatanicGhostCat

Жыл бұрын

Good for him

@farquaadswife

Жыл бұрын

why did so many things happen to him😭😭😭😭

@EEEEEEEE

Жыл бұрын

E‎‎‎

The Kanye west one did not age well 💀

@zchsk57779

Жыл бұрын

*Did age well (this is a joke)

Someone could say literally anything about Diogenes and I would belive them with no doubt

@davidcool5189

3 жыл бұрын

He was subtle in his wisdom.

@mortson978

3 жыл бұрын

He once held an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid, at a party

@howdoyoudo5949

3 жыл бұрын

He once had s*x with my wife and I'm not married

@themememixers8965

3 жыл бұрын

I saw this coming yet I’m still surprised

@worstusernameintheworld9871

3 жыл бұрын

He climbed up a mountain using a hammer while sitting in a pot. He then saw a kid climbing the mountain with his bare hands only for Diogenes to realize how materialistic he was for owning the hammer.

No obese women of color in smash? Wrong. Wario exists.

@thedkboyz

4 жыл бұрын

THANKS NOW I GOT COFFE ON MY SCREEN AND SNOT ALL OVER MY FACE

@bigjim9956

4 жыл бұрын

apologies, my dude.

@fivefivetensmysenpai9550

4 жыл бұрын

@@bigjim9956 you seen morgana?

@fivefivetensmysenpai9550

4 жыл бұрын

@@bigjim9956 that was also a joke If you havent played persona 5 then you wouldnt get it

@bigjim9956

4 жыл бұрын

I haven’t.

0:16 oh boy that’s funny considering what recently happened

@Famliy_guy78

11 ай бұрын

He made graduation he made my beautiful and dark twisted fantasy he made the collage drop out

@user-hb4iz8ym2d

7 ай бұрын

​@@Famliy_guy78and?!!

@someguyy194_2

6 ай бұрын

⁠@@Famliy_guy78and late registration

@Famliy_guy78

6 ай бұрын

@@someguyy194_2 and life of Pablo

@mrhelitosis7564

3 ай бұрын

@@Famliy_guy78and yeezus

"Thereby giving back to the earth what little he took from it" is a Raw Nasty line and its mine now

I think it's just hilarious how there are two ways of seeing Diogenes 1- A very wise poor man who constantly shared hos wisdom 2- Greek's local shitposter

@Demonicidiot

3 жыл бұрын

I see it as both of those

@questionmarkquestionmarkques

2 жыл бұрын

literal shitposter

@AkiraSugo.mp3

2 жыл бұрын

He was a real gamer. Never took a shower and hated society

@Himax9

2 жыл бұрын

Same thing.

@kuratse205

Жыл бұрын

3- A badass that had unwavering beliefs about the world, and exhibited those beliefs in the most ridiculous and funny ways.

Fun fact: Diogenes often liked representing himself as a dog, making him the world's first furry.

@Kuhmuhnistische_Partei

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, "Cynicism" derived from κυνικός (kynikos) 'dog-like' or κύων (kyôn) 'dog'.

@demdem7946

3 жыл бұрын

no

@tesial

3 жыл бұрын

Please delete this.

@NerdStuffing

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you very cool

@oscarbelmare_22

3 жыл бұрын

So the first memer was also a furry.............. thats something

An oldy and a goody. This video brings me so much joy. Hope you're doing well in the world, Sam.

Diogenes is truly the most based sigma male in existance

"When I'm dead just throw me in the trash" -Diogenes, probably

@horacegentleman3296

4 жыл бұрын

Diogenes was definitely fringe class.

@innosanto

4 жыл бұрын

Diogenes actually said : Through my body outside the walls. And this is the start of an anecdotal conversation ( they told him: the dogs will start biting you. Wouldn't that bother you? Diogenes:.Then give me a bone to get up and scare them away. Others: And how will you do that if you're dead? Diogenes: Then why would I be bothered? ) There are actually many good ones with Diogenes. Diogenes if I remember correctly generally idolized the dogs ( and cynic comes from greek word for dog)

He is famous for both giving a shit and not giving a shit

@sergei9327

6 жыл бұрын

and taking a shit

@teli6350

6 жыл бұрын

And taking a shit without giving a shit

@Bobelponge123

6 жыл бұрын

And shitposts

@Dalen22_W

6 жыл бұрын

do you know de way? Thx

Idk about anyone else, but I still watch this mans videos on repeat. It’s a problem that I don’t think I’ll ever stop lol.

0:18 Rip

@oshwaflz

11 ай бұрын

beat me to it lol

He came to Plato with a chicken and yelled "BEHOLD! A MAN!". far better than what he reenacted. Plato also said to Diogenese: "This is a cup, there are many cups in the world, there is only one idea of a cup and this cupness precedes the existence of all particular cups". "I can see the cup on the table" said Diogenes, "but I can't see the cupness". "That's because you have the eyes to see the cup," said Plato, "but", tapping his head with his forefingers, " you don't have the intellect with which to comprehend cupness" Diogenes walked up to the table, examined a cup and looking inside, asked," Is it empty?" Plato nodded. "Where is the emptiness which precedes this empty cup?" asked Diogenes. Plato allowed himself a few moments to collect his thoughts, but Diogenese reached over and tapping Plato's head with his finger said: "I think you will fin here is the emptiness".

@ninjabluefyre3815

5 жыл бұрын

Reminds me of Mercutio.

@metehan5744

5 жыл бұрын

Diogenes didnt need fire to cook his food, he roasted other philosophers daily

@zorkwithawhy7455

5 жыл бұрын

THAT THE SICKEST FUCKING BURN I HEARD

@ryanhernandez1877

5 жыл бұрын

It's a wonder this lad wasn't killed. He's amazing.

@GumSkyloard

5 жыл бұрын

He was a god among men, holy Diogenes.

Diogenes: The First Shitposter Coming to your local movie theater soon!

@carcinogenicthalidomide3057

4 жыл бұрын

A NGE fan,pretty rare these days.

@tapadhleibh3052

4 жыл бұрын

Just in Y. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only teen who really loves NGE

@carcinogenicthalidomide3057

4 жыл бұрын

@@tapadhleibh3052 for a show from 1995,you sure are. Genuinely Good anime shows are rare nowadays.

@lephantomchickn3676

4 жыл бұрын

Literally if you think about it

@whypinky3491

4 жыл бұрын

Onika M starships were meant to fly

The first video i ever watched from sam o'nella..... and it didn't disappoint

The Kanye joke aged like fine wine

Yes, my student? :YEAH UH, WHAT THE FUCK" perfect scene.

@scottl875

6 жыл бұрын

Portalowy me in chemistry

@bvssl

6 жыл бұрын

EPIC

@norgepalm7315

6 жыл бұрын

AlSamaani Bassel. LE EPIC amiright xD?!?!!?!!1!1

Diogenes was one of the first madlads. I feel like the only reason he wasn't kicked out is because everyone was both disgusted and impressed.

@labrynianrebel

Жыл бұрын

He was exiled from his home town

@EEEEEEEE

Жыл бұрын

‎E‎

@yeffaros8419

Жыл бұрын

​@@labrynianrebel and he made it everyone else's problem

@dimsum3329

Жыл бұрын

​@yeffaros8419 when he got banished, and he said "and I force you all to stay here"

As a person who has to take literal lessons at school about Plato, I deeply appreciate the accuracy in his speech before he got interrupted by Dionedes, about that whole "you have all the knowledge inside you -like literally, everything, all knowledge ever- but when your soul came to inhabit your body it forgot everything and now you need a someone to remind you all of it. My teacher says he might have been schizophrenic, considering the definition psychologist have given it today.... Guy was seeing things and believed in a world way up in the cloud that was "the real world" and that our world and what we lived was just a reflection of that other world..... I guess calling humans featherless chickens was the closest thing to a normal he had ever said....

Bro your humor was way ahead of its time 😂😂😂

"STOP SHITTING EVERYWHERE! I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL-" "What are you gonna do? Burn my house?"

@l_ndonmusic

4 жыл бұрын

“My world’s on fire, how bout your’s?”

@FlexBeanbag

4 жыл бұрын

@@l_ndonmusic kzread.info/dash/bejne/dKGXm7B_lsveZ5c.html

@olbradley

4 жыл бұрын

@@FlexBeanbag I've learned from experience not to click on links.

@FlexBeanbag

4 жыл бұрын

@@olbradley well my link is worth clicking

@hankrogers8431

4 жыл бұрын

@@FlexBeanbag That's what she said

Plato: creates theory of knowlege -it gets debunked by another philosopher Plato: defines a human -it gets debunked by homeless man hhhhhmmmm...

@RandemFellow

5 жыл бұрын

Plato was wrong about a lot of things.

@randoprior4130

5 жыл бұрын

@@RandemFellow| but he did get people to think. His ideas could be way off base, but he died leaving us questions nobody had ever even thought to consider. Philosophy isn't about being right; that would be science. Philosophy is about looking at the world from such a perverted fantastical point of view that it looks different. It is like trying to define a question that is so ambiguous that it has no solution. But in seeking the solution, it moulds our thoughts and changes how we examine the world around us. In this sense, he was still a great philosopher, and deserves the respect his memory has.

@bernardocoto8519

5 жыл бұрын

@@randoprior4130 Plato has become famous through our times because his writings managed to survive through war, fire and other calamities. Unfortunately, there are dozens of philosophers we know nothing about and never will because their work failed to survive, not because of lack of quality, but by sheer luck. Diogenes left some writings but his own disciples thought the themes were too disturbing and destroyed them. He's supposed to have written a text about canibbalism and poverty and, if we use our imagination a bit, well, let's just say Jonathan swift touched the same topics and ended up with an essay were he defends that in order to end hunger and poverty, we should eat the poor. Just imagine what Diogenes would have done with such a topic...

@kingbreloom2630

5 жыл бұрын

@@randoprior4130 not true. Chinese philosophers far back already found these theories but didn't attribute names to them and called them 'common sense'

@jackalope2302

5 жыл бұрын

Why not. We can learn from the mistakes of what was once considered to be a wise man. An marvel when he actually gets something right. Plus, when you're the first superstar of your field, you will be remembered, mistakes and triumphs. Just ask the Beatles. Or Freud.

his causes of death do not seem mutually exclusive. He stopped breathing after he got bitten and ate an octopus as his last meal

the first man to discover shitposting

You missed a bit of sass worth going over where people were horrified about how he wanted to get thrown outside the city and said "Dude, the animals will eat your body" So Diogenes said "Okay, give me a stick so I can beat up the animals when they try to eat me" And the people said "Wait, how are you going to use a stick? You'll be dead." And Diogenes replied "Yeah, I won't have much use for a stick, huh... Or a body, idiots." I'm paraphrasing a bit but it's another example of just how awesome he was.

@erikkooy2804

5 жыл бұрын

My Latin exam in high school was about this story. It was amazing

@lucaskrsrensen4587

5 жыл бұрын

He was so ahead of his time

@ryanhernandez1877

5 жыл бұрын

This mans

@franktheprank7336

5 жыл бұрын

Also lets not forget that after Diogenes did his featherless biped stunt, Plato change his description of a man to "a featherless biped with broad flat nails". This means that Plato, upon seeing Diogenes throw a featherless(an probably dead)chicken in the middle of his lecture, basically said "I mean...he has a point".

"YEAH UH, WHAT THE FUCK?"

@KonEl-BlackZero

7 жыл бұрын

Thats me in every Salmonella video.

@jondunlap1892

7 жыл бұрын

i don't think that sentence existed yet, he was speaking english

@Quandaledillywingle

6 жыл бұрын

Mr. Anderson - professional catholic monster hunter 😂😂

@rorybrennan5562

6 жыл бұрын

Mr. Anderson - professional catholic monster hunter ii

The first 30 seconds aged like fine milk

This is type of channel I watch all the videos the day I discover it on KZread ❤

thanks for enlightening me with that hot steamy knowledge

@redbaron2829

7 жыл бұрын

STUPID - KITTY first

@LarryTL

7 жыл бұрын

dripping down your neck and chest

@themotherofharlots4605

7 жыл бұрын

Larry Nüt

@masonyonker433

7 жыл бұрын

Sam you're the creeping uncle I always wanted

@MRCOLOURfilld

7 жыл бұрын

hotsteamy K N O W L E D G E (insert bass-boosted Tai Lopez here)

Diogenes really just said: “hey this whole life thing is boring peace”

@themostbritishpersonalive868

2 жыл бұрын

He saw a ghost and decided his physical form was useless

@Real_Tower_Pizza

2 жыл бұрын

@@themostbritishpersonalive868 Lol he probobly just held his breath untill he died of lack of oxygen or som shit

This is your greatest masterpiece sir.

I like to believe Diogenes is just chilling in heaven with Jesus, God and Lucifer.

Diogenes did not give a shit He gave out many in public for what i understood.

@mstr293

7 жыл бұрын

+Andrew Francisco You didn't see the "Read more option", did you?

@andrewfrancisco7325

7 жыл бұрын

No it wasn't working on my phone, which is where wrote that.

@rebelbeammasterx8472

7 жыл бұрын

Diogenes didn't give a shit, but he gave a lot of shits on the ground.

@qwaysqaywsx

6 жыл бұрын

So Diogenes is the ancient Rick Sanchez ?

@reikasol

6 жыл бұрын

Gilgax I

we talked about him in my philosophy class and my teacher referred to him as "the original edgelord" Edit: my teacher called him this as a joke. You people are taking it way too seriously.

@Aadhitiya_Murali

3 жыл бұрын

tbh, he was anything but an edgelord.

@m-mori

3 жыл бұрын

@@Aadhitiya_Murali Yeah I too feel lke thats inadequate. His whole lifestyle didnt just revolve around being cool because hes not like others but rather around critizising problems that not many besides him did,

@marshmallowcello7528

3 жыл бұрын

More like the OG shitposter

@DrUnfunny

3 жыл бұрын

@@marshmallowcello7528 Shit posting is an art

@lianawang4219

3 жыл бұрын

@@marshmallowcello7528 with literal shit sometimes

everytime youtube recommends one of his videos my heart rises than quickly sinks

the kanye comment aged like milk

Two corrections: a) Diogenes was actually relatively clean, if not just as clean as everyone else. Living in the streets didn't mean lack of ways to wash in ancient Greece ('specially Athens, though he lived in Corinth for a long time). There's an anecdote that once upon a time he was invited to dinner and when he asked to go to the bathroom, the host took him to wash and upon looking at the sorry state of the bath he said "Where do those that wash here, go to wash themselves after?". So it's implied that he was relatively clean to have made that remark. He was also a slave to a rich household and thus had access to baths etc. b) In his confrontation with Alexander, he didn't tell him to move over, he told him "enlighten me" which in Ancient Greek could mean either: a) Move so that you don't hide the sun or b) give me knowledge. It was a really smart pun and because of that Alexander replied "If I hadn't been born Alexander, I'd like to have been born Diogenes".

@GumSkyloard

5 жыл бұрын

"Yeah, if I hadn't been born Diogenes, I'd like to have been born Diogenes too."

@talaldimashkie5869

5 жыл бұрын

@@GumSkyloard me too

@ryanhernandez1877

5 жыл бұрын

Woah

@RedFloyd469

5 жыл бұрын

There's some doubt whether the anecdote of Alexander meeting Diogenes is actually true. Most of these stories need to be taken with a grain of salt.

@Hanzel06

5 жыл бұрын

Fuckin' nerd

and he turned himself into a fatherless biped. Funniest shit I've ever seen

@OffGridInvestor

3 жыл бұрын

FEATHERless

@thelaughingman3443

3 жыл бұрын

That too

@DrUnfunny

3 жыл бұрын

God damn it.

@hughesj

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, uh, what the fuck?

@thelaughingman3443

3 жыл бұрын

@@hughesj both fatherless and featherless

He also lived in a giant wine bottle, and carried around a lamp in the daytime looking for "one honest man"

Diogenes was such a chad.

“If I were not Alexander, I would like to be Diogenes” Alexander the Great

@theawesomeboy8888

4 жыл бұрын

"If I were not Diogenes, I would like to be Diogenes" Diogenes the Cynic to Alexander

@jooot_6850

4 жыл бұрын

@@theawesomeboy8888 Diogenes the Greater

@georgy2596

3 жыл бұрын

“Sam “O’nella” the greatest

@MarcyTheKindaCoolWizard

3 жыл бұрын

@@jooot_6850 Diogenes the cheese grater*

@zejdland

3 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/onuOvMSlXZfJebQ.html i am alexander

When someone reminded Diogenes that the people of Sinope had sentenced him to exile, he said, "And I sentenced them to stay at home". Lol

@HolyRamanRajya

2 жыл бұрын

Stay in civilization*

@razztastic

Жыл бұрын

@@HolyRamanRajya It's crazy how a fan of Greece's biggest shitposter can't let a shitpost run by without correcting it's inaccuracies

@brovid-19

7 ай бұрын

​@@razztasticoh wow, didn't realize you were such a huge fan of dick

Diogenes was once sorting through some bones in a catacomb or graveyaed or something. Alexander saw him and asked what he was doing and Diogenes replied "I am trying to find your father but I cannot distinguish them from the bones of slaves." The madman

Ive been seeing more and more of sams videos being labelled as “for kids” good to know they’re getting the education they deserve