Sam God bless you, you have come full circle. The bible says God knew you when he knitted you together in your mothers womb! That little boy has come through abuse, manipulation, lies and unbelievable pain. God has been with you every step of the way even though sometimes we as, where is he, but he is there, we dont understand why we must suffer like this. Look at you what a beautiful soul you are a light for other poor souls who are searching. Be proud and know God your heavenly father has loved you through it all. Carmel

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Carmel. God bless you too.

“I’m finally here” - you’re so eloquent and clear I hope your story and experience help others pause and consider before they go down the same road.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you, I certainly don't feel eloquent , more like , as the poem said, " a blind child who cannot see, arms outstretched , trying to put together a world "

@elektrotehnik94

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam Well... It seems (to me), through practice, you've gotten good at using words. Using words, to "put together a world" that a lot of us see, but don't know how to speak about. ❤ It helps me communicate with my sister, she watches these videos now also. You're helping me communicate with the people I love, in a way I couldn't do myself. Thank you for doing what you do. ❤

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

​ @Elektrotehnik Bless you, thank you so much for letting me know this. It really helps me continue.

@elektrotehnik94

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam Bless you ❤ & may you continue to hear God's guidance well. 🏆

In all things simplify.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Agreed

God bless you Sam. I just found you today and my heart breaks for you but I see your strength shining through all the adversity and I know you will make it through and emerge victorious. Stay strong❤

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you

Oh my goodness, I am so incredibly happy with what you've shared in this video. I felt like I could no longer comment after listening to the last video because of the issue of labelling language that you have so well identified and now turned from. You hit the nail on the head. Well done, Sam! I want to give you a big hug! Beautiful poem. It will sound like an incredibly cliche statement, but you are a man with a God shaped hole in your heart. You are right when you say that you can't get yourself ' right'. None of us can. We are incapable of fulfilling ourselves, with self-love or rightness or wholeness. We have to take our hands off and place them in the hands of God. He shares his rightness, his completeness, and his love, and he is waiting at the door. He is the deep spring of relationship and faithful friendship and fatherliness that our souls drinks from, and he offers you forgiveness, acceptance, love, and Sonship. He is patient and empathetic, and he stands at the door. It was so good to hear from you.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you.

Thank, you Sam. I love the way you interpreted the poem for us. You are making it so much easier for me to be a friend to myself for the first time in my life.

@Call-Me-Sam

4 ай бұрын

That makes me very happy and I'm happy for you too ! Thank you for letting me know.

I love seeing YOU shining through in this video. Since meeting you around 6 years ago in Rhinebeck, I've watched your unfoldment and have been struck by your ability to express such depths of emotion. I'm not very skilled in spoken or even written expression, so you've been a teacher and inspiration to me. I've always loved you as you are and am glad to know you're letting go of labels and definitions. I always thought of you as being far beyond the smallness of definition, which helped me to drop my own definitions and hare-brained notions through the years. You are a treasure and I do hope we get to spend time together again.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Hello beautiful... Oh my ! you're right, it'll be 6 years in September . That really was the beginning of this process . Bless you, thanks so much for sharing these words, it really means something to know that my efforts have helped others. I am very lucky to have such feed back. We are all teaching and helping each other and if we could feel how we've touched the lives of others, I'm sure we'd all have a lot more self worth and value of our own unique gifts. Love XXX

First, let me simply say "yes." and "thank you." second, after you finished the first poem, I felt like I wanted to go for a walk. third, I have long said that we are all being assigned and eager to take on labels... I refuse them. I see things such as ADHD, ADD, Autism, Trauma, etc, as descriptive of certain experiences or characteristics but they do not define me or anyone else. They are - or cann be - helpful for understanding dynamics of our lives, but they do not define us; as soon we take it as a label, then we can be sold something; we become a target market for those who profit off sorrow, distress, dis-ease, anxiety. As you say in this video - "it's a business." How does one become free? well, I think the poem tells us: when one thing dies all things die together and must live again in a different way. Jesus said something similar when He said "You must be born again." That is not a catch-phrase; it is not a label. It is real. again, thank you for the lovely reflection.

@phillippenna5558

Жыл бұрын

also, I have sought counselling a number of times throughout my life; I did it for short seasons for specific things and stopped - usually with the agreement of the person I was working with, when it was clear that what was sought through counselling had been found. It is a good feeling when that happens.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@phillippenna5558 Agreed. We don't need to make a permanence.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Beautiful, thank you Phillip.

“Until we let go, we’re not available. We’re not available. We can’t be found” This explains everything. The code that just might unlock the vault, no, the prison that I’ve been living in for what seems like a lifetime. I want so desperately want to be found. To be seen. All this time I thought I was available. Clearly, I must not have been. Or am? I’m like Gatsby, staring across the water at the green light… Thank you for your words. For baring your soul. For making safe space.

ive had a different journey...but your right that this channel is just about being human.. i resonate with you alot even though my life experience has been different from yours.

So lovely to wake up and see a new video! ❤

The place you are filming is gorgeous. I can feel the peace there. It will heal ur soul.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Yes, I accept that I need to spend time alone in these special places , maybe we all do but for me it is a necessity . Thanks for your comment.

Sam, you are such an amazing human! Your story is the story of humanity-different struggles, mistakes, and stumbling, but we all have to make our own way to finding our True selves-it is a singular path. That is why grace is such a gift, because when we come home to ourselves, Grace, Love, and Peace are there to greet us and let us tell our story without shame, guilt, or condemnation. Bless you, dear one. You are so very loved.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Sarah. Gosh, I wish I could find such perfect words when I speak. You put it so beautifully. I feel you in these words. Thank you.

@sterlingwalters

Жыл бұрын

I think you speak beautifully. You are a living poem. ❤ you speak with such depth and richness and honesty. It is a rare gift to behold in another.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@sterlingwalters Thank you. In the words of the poem, " I feel like a blind child.... trying to put together a world " but maybe we all are .

Hi Sam, Thanks again for your continued courage in posting these videos. As I peel back the layers of the ways that my trauma has formed my being it’s comforting to know that I am not alone, not unusual, given what I have been through… seems a lot of the growth you’re experiencing is similar to my journey as well. It’s hard enough and I don’t make videos! (Although I do challenge myself to connect with others in ways that are scary for me. ) so thank you 😊 ❤

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Hi Marlene. Well done, it is difficult work indeed. Reflecting on the last few months, making friends with our self, accepting our otherness and working with it, not against it........ and , quietening the noise of our own constantly moving mind, all help in becoming still and allowing ourselves to find stability in silence . May you find a growing peace in your own healing. X

Blessings to you Sam!

Watching your videos has really become something special for me... I look forward to them and come back to them when I am having a moment. Everything you say resonates. It's just coming from you, simple and pure. No frills, no pretension. It's beautiful. "If one thing is missing, then everything is missing, and must be found again in the new whole." Wow... I can't even put into words how much that speaks to me and why, but it makes me feel connected to God, spirit, and being.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful. I really would love to make this the focus of my life and in time, directly help as a guide for those going through their own healing and awakening. For now I need to build a life that supports and nourishes rather isolates and protects. I think we need intimacy , we need to know that someone sees us and understands what we feel. What a privilege it is to share the journey.

@innermeetme

Жыл бұрын

Sam, I thought I had responded to this. I completely agree… intimacy is everything, and so is trust. Trust is necessary when sharing in our “invisible selves.” It would be beautiful to be a part of a group of people with that level of trust.

@innermeetme

Жыл бұрын

And I think you could be a beautiful guide for others. You already have for me. It’s wonderful to see how that’s unfolding with you.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@innermeetme Yes it would . Maybe in the future I'll expand my blog and include a meeting place of some description.

"I reclaim the prison of my body. If I have only darkness, I must claim the night" wow

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

He's a great writer, his work has helped me. If you're interested, two books I recommend are Essentials and Consolations... David Whyte.

Thank you for the Blog link ❤ I like your reading list & links there. Now I see a bit better - that the wisdom you have, cames from sources I, too, previously encountered on my own path. ❤

Bless you Sam thankyou for sharing your heart YOU ARE LOVED ❤

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you

Going through a difficult phase in life. It's nice to listen to good people like you.🖤

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

I wish you well..... resistance and pain always lead to break through. I know it can feel endless but " this too shall pass "

@divusdark

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam thankyou sam:)

God bless you, Sam. I just discovered your channel today and so thankful I did. Not only do I love the setting where you filmed this, but your words are worthy to be heard. You matter. Your story is not in vain. The words you ended with, “Hold to your own truth, at the center of the image you were born with”.. speaks of your very soul..made in the image of God to commune with Him ❤ and what a Brilliant place you’ve discovered to do just that.. the music of the water, the birds and the wind..the light surrounding you,.. such a healing Presence all around you. You are loved by Your Creator and I pray you experience that more every day… we are not nameless.. He calls all the stars by name and knows when one sparrow falls…how much more important are human beings.. how much more important are YOU. Love & Respect from West Virginia † 💕

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you.. I think I meant that the names we give ourselves are very often a mask, we already have a name, we just need to become quiet and then we can hear it.

@thegoodpath5008

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam I love that.. many of the saints would agree with you about the holiness of silence. ❤

So beautiful Sam ❤️

I'm reallly happy you're getting your mastectomy. I had one side removed bc of cancer, so while not the same circumstance, it shouldn't be too bad. Best of everything, having made it this far. Congratulations

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you

You are helping a lot of people with your videos - may God bless you today and always Sam thank you for sharing

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Yasira.

Belonging. Longing to Be, loved until I fully understood, I Am, by the Beloved therefore, Love itself, the present in body, with the freedom to Be and Give…

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Layne

@elektrotehnik94

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam This. Language can limit. How we are, espressed through our body (& "presence"), is the subtlest, sweetest language that I've found (so far). ❤

❤

That place is gorgeous. Where is it? Is it in a National park? Do you ever see any animals there?

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

The highlands of Scotland. No , not a park , the HIghlands have many places like this. I see deer and smaller animals . The UK has lots of big cats that aren't supposed to be here but I have never seen one. I keep looking over my shoulder expecting to see a sasquatch but so far haven't been so lucky.

@kathyb1011

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam No wonder you enjoy going there. I am Australian but my husband and I visited Scotland and spent a month there late 2019 at the beginning of the pandemic. We just got home in time to be allowed back into Australia. It was gorgeous. We boast about our beaches here but the beaches in Harris and Lewis were spectacular. We'd love to return.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@kathyb1011 They are beautiful beaches, though the weather can be pretty biblical on the west coast, on the good days it is breathtaking.

~ 11 minutes: IT’S A BUSINESS! IT’S A BUSINESS! 😂💖 yes, very much that.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Indeed. I hope you doing well Drew.

That is a shocking amount of money! It’s a racket

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Indeed

How do you escape definition? We are all in relation to something. I find and feel myself to just be a thing. Not nothing, not something, and not everything. I've lost all being and identify. I've let go of the story, I've let go of everything. And now what? No emotion. No thought. I'm just a completely dead/lifeless psychopath. Used to be the opposite. But okay, let's forget what used to be...

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

There are objective definitions that describe reality and yes, we exist in relationship but there is also our sense making personal narrative that we build the idea of our self and the world we inhabit. . That narrative, though it feels true is an expression, a reductive simplification seen through the fog of fear, desire, self hate... etc. You know this already but knowing and embodying that knowing is a long journey of transformation. A journey that has taken me 53 years to even begin but it is beginning and will for your too. As you said, we live in relationship, with each moment and in truth, the world is a complete mystery that we find terrifying, hence the need to reduce and grasp at explanations. I've lived with terror my whole life, that terror was far worse than the fear of accepting the unknowable nature of reality and also the unknowable nature of our self. We are in flux, in conversation with each moment and the more we grasp and reduce , the less we see, the less we feel. Mind is the filter, the reducer but there are other ways of living in a relationship with that mystery. Let it speak to you, let your self open, still the mind, stop talking to your self. The traumatised mind is chaos, there aren't really any answers there.

@Typhoon792

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-SamThanks Sam. Yeah, that's what I'm looking to do. Just to see and feel again. But for that I'd need to simplify my life and feel safe/secure somewhere largely separate from the world (in nature). Although even then, if I would have to depend on myself for survival, it would force me to engage my mind in ways which prevent this from happening.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@Typhoon792 I hear you. Simple is good. I think that feeling of.safety comes from an acceptance of our lack of any real control here.....surrender. Then, in a way there is no need for safety . Yes, I do love the woods, lochs and mountains here, solitude in nature makes sense and is comfortable for me but also there is a deep need for intimacy . Real intimacy, I think can only occur between real people and those are rare. Survival in unforgiving environments certainly does focus the mind, no room for narrative .... just do what needs to be done.

@Typhoon792

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam When you say unforgiving environments, what do you mean? You mean society or nature?

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@Typhoon792 Nature

So when are you gonna start testosterone if you have had bottom surgery you can go on it if you have gender dysphoria from your transition, and have you updated your gender marker to male?

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

I may introduce T, small dose but probably not. I don't feel the need to change anything other than breast removal. My legal gender is still female. If I make any other changes they will be gradual, I'm in no rush.

@Twigggggy

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam dont you feel like your gender marker being F is lying though? you said you feel like a man impersonating a woman what is it sounds like you are half assing this detransition thing.

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

@@Twigggggy Yes , it is a lie. " half assing " ? I've spent the majority of my adult years as a transitioned male, I am male and I am who I am now. Detransition is much more about not deluding oneself , rather than attempting to undo transition. The reason my marker is still F is because I need HRT and would not qualify for this if I changed my marker legally. T may not even be available for me. I have a meeting with my Dr tomorrow to discuss it. Like I said, any change will happen slowly .

@Twigggggy

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam do you feel like you were forced into getting all these surgeries and changing your gender marker in the past just so you could take hrt? honestly it’s ridiculous how much money you have to drop to just get cleared for you to get a mastectomy.

@elektrotehnik94

Жыл бұрын

@@Twigggggy You're right; there is a lot of "shadiness" going on. A looooooot of ridiculesness is built into the process. 1.) How there is a money-linked industry surrounding the transition/ detransitions body transformations. 2.) "Pre-transition therapy" is not therapy at all, but a psych evaluation/ test that is lying about it being genuine therapy. The worst part - by it's wording, it's directly manipulating the patient into believing it is genuine therapy. Not to mention the bureucratic headache legally changing the gender marker is. There are wise, practical reasons why legally changing it is exhausting. ^^

You okay?

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

A little vulnerable but thats ok ....

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

How are you doing ?

@emilyevans6989

Жыл бұрын

@@Call-Me-Sam I’m GREAT! Understandably you’re feeling vulnerable. It’s a brave thing you’ve done-laying bare your heart after protecting it so fiercely for over 5 decades! It’s scary to put yourself out there, no matter how prepared you think you are! It’s hard work. My new Labrador puppy has grown so quickly! My first yellow! Big, dense boned, blockhead, beaver tail English Lab. She’s learning so quickly. She amazes me! 🌻

@Call-Me-Sam

Жыл бұрын

Thats good, I'm glad you're well and how wonderful , a puppy. Last week I visited a friend who has six labs, four are puppies.... I was in heaven.

There is a book in you. Do it 🦢