I blast Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend podcasts when I hike. No bear attacks, but a lot of jealous Kevin Nealon attacks.

@austinado16

3 ай бұрын

😉lol... I see what you did there!

@ThatsOnYoutube

3 ай бұрын

@@AstroBear11 Mediocre Witt is my favorite country music star!

@rickyd-lux9067

3 ай бұрын

You mean Jay Leno, who also takes over the campsite that was reserved for Conan.

@florete2310

3 ай бұрын

Was he following you around, slurping a giant drink through a straw??

@christophertownsend3820

3 ай бұрын

If Conan is walking in the woods it is with or because of Kevin lmao

"Definitely don't lay down and spread your legs" was so damn quick.

Instructions unclear. I'm now engaged to a Brown Bear.

@dgs.creates

3 ай бұрын

They should've mentioned that the spreading of the legs may cause mixed results.

@paultumaliuan9087

2 ай бұрын

Congratulations on your engagement.

@ludocrious7898

Ай бұрын

congrats to the little bears too!

@samwilson6316

9 күн бұрын

The Grand cubs are so cute. They take after you @backaddict673

"There was talk of Bears..."

@scottmccutcheon2668

3 ай бұрын

Yup.

Matt’s such an excellent facilitator in conan’s bits. Just out of one word from him conan goes off

@burnacco

3 ай бұрын

fr fr

@florete2310

3 ай бұрын

I like the fact that Matt saw right through that devious bear scheme. These little rapscallions😂

@losdagodg3625

3 ай бұрын

Was thinking the same thing

@WuntaykTimmy1

8 күн бұрын

He's made his bones in podcasting

3:09 Sona's face at Conan's "you've dropped your twins many times" SCREAMS to me that she almost said "you're not wrong" 😂

@dgs.creates

3 ай бұрын

She definitely has. I was thinking that instantly with that face. Lol

@user-qm8he7bl6z

3 ай бұрын

Sonas been dropped, to be fair.

If you encounter a polar bear you can also distract them by talking about the amazing safety records of Canadian nuclear energy.

@alex0589

3 ай бұрын

if it's polar, go nucleor

@monsterhog1118

3 ай бұрын

Just remember the cute Coke commercials

@10Adarsh

3 ай бұрын

You meant, “NuCular”.

@TheRedGameboy

3 ай бұрын

I thought you were supposed to offer it a glass bottle of Coca Cola.

@Mr2greys

3 ай бұрын

@@monsterhog1118 Ever notice there are no penguins in the north where all the polar bears are? There is no coincidence

You are supposed to carry bear spray and wear bells for bear protection. You can tell the difference in black bear scat and Grizzly scat because the black bear scat has nuts and berries in it and the Grizzly scat has bear spray and bells in it.

@scottmccutcheon2668

3 ай бұрын

This is good. Yes.

@user-cf4bu9dl5h

Ай бұрын

😂

@fletchermunson6225

Ай бұрын

@@user-cf4bu9dl5h You might be Irish. I have a neighbor from Ireland and her name is also spelled Aine.

Matt's "and that was a polar bear" was so god damn quick!

Once again impressed by Matt's improv skills

@emmy-8537

Ай бұрын

He’s so quick

What if you're in an underground night club and run into a bear?? What then, Mr. O'Brien??!

@fooglefuss

3 ай бұрын

not sure, but you could animate it

@Mat0s-316

3 ай бұрын

Conan would respond with his best dance moves, which prompts the bear to flee from 2nd hand embarrassment.

@jaxjaggywires

3 ай бұрын

If in a club, fight the cub?

@mr.personhumanson6871

3 ай бұрын

you stand your ground, be fierce, and vogue the hell out of that bear

@sheilaf1946

3 ай бұрын

I say buy it a drink

This is already one of the funniest segments you guys have ever done. Conan & Matt just hitting home runs.

The whole point of the rhyme is how to face different bears, and 2/3 of the advice is just “welp, good luck” 😂

@ThrillaWhale

3 ай бұрын

And tbh… that sounds about right as far as bear attacks go.

@GinkoNori

3 ай бұрын

I mean... It's a bear

@gibiati8295

3 ай бұрын

They also keep messing up the rhyme. There is no “if it’s black. Attack. “ it’s “if it’s black. Fight back” the line has never been “attack”

from the expert advice I've seen, it's important to note that "attacks" means "is physically touching you, actively engaged". so if you see a brown bear 50 yards away running at you then standing and snapping, you are not yet being attacked and there's separate advice for 1) communicating you are not prey and 2) slowly getting away without triggering an attack. if a brown bear just looks at you, do not immediately play dead (is my understanding but may be wrong).

This is one of the best segments of all time. Bears spreading information online, "If it's polar, go solar", Conan hiring people for a fake funeral, the bear giving a speech. This was brilliant!

@peterpanimg

3 ай бұрын

If it's a Koala...

@brenobacci

3 ай бұрын

@@peterpanimg ...have some guava. Don't know if it cures the clap, but works pretty well for the rhyme. (damn, just looked up gonorrhea in Google to get a different name for it, and realized this is probably going to be embarrassing, if for some reason my browser history is shown in public).

Lmao the end is the best part. Conan kept that spread your legs fact.

The grizzly bear funeral bit had me dead 😂

Look, bear attacks are no big deal. If attacked by a bear, simply reason with him or her. If that fails, overpower the bear. Finally, make friends with the bear by offering a bear's favorite foods, clover honey and people who are weaker than you. Before you know it, you and your bear will be like old college chums.

@samuelcarstens6152

3 ай бұрын

Gods Own Drunk - jimmy buffet. Worked for him.

As a Canadian I can tell you that if a polar bear attacks you your life is over.

Missed ad opportunity. Thanks to Bley being a t mobile customer, Jen was able to be clearly heard and contribute to the podcast via phone call.

This is so much better than any interview of any celebrity. Just a group of friends, regular people, riffing about bears. Or gonorrhea. It reminds of the early Howard Stern show

I love Bley's expressions as Eduardo reads, lolll

I live in the Smokey Mountain's of Western NC. No shortage of Black Bears. They come into my yard on occasion. I had to take down my bird feeders because they kept taking them down. They, meaning a mom and 5 cubs. They started to get way to comfortable around the house. Tried to get into my hot tube a couple of times for example among other vandal type activity. I keep air horns handy for a good reason. I see bears, I go in the house. They are unpredictable. I don't recommend smearing honey on your face to try to become friends.

If it's polar, go solar ✓

Conan we need you back on TV! Your skits were legendary. I still watch them and I still cry laughing! 😂 I could not get enough of you and Jordan Schlansky! Your one of my favorite Gingers in the world!

One of the funniest bits of spontaneous comedy a I have heard. Rolling from one prompt to the next and ending with the bear eulogy and typical funereal comments by the attendee bear. Three days now and it still hits me as really funny. Great job.

why do I feel like this video was sponsored by Grizzly Bear?

Gorley was on FIRE this segment. I think he’s gleaning some of Conan’s comedic talent through osmosis

This bit bear-ly made sense!

If its polar go solar😂 conan is hilarious

You can tell grizzly scat because it is full of bells and smells like pepper spray. By the way, koalas have chlamydia not gonorrhea

bro Matt is SUPER underrated comedically fr 😭😭😭😭😭

@ichoosemeimsorry

Ай бұрын

he’s hilarious lmaaoooo

I'm never going to be the same that Conan said he brought a casket. OMG how random and epically hilarious is that. LOL

Polar bears are the only bears known to hunt humans, if I’m not mistaken. I remember watching a BBC documentary where the team was confused over the bear’s behaviour. Then it dawned on them that the bear was hunting the cameraman, trying to get an angle on him.

@noelramirez1551

Ай бұрын

Yea thats true polar bears and i think salt water crocodiles are the some of them also tigers

This segment was hilarious!😂

Dwight Schrute was screaming at his screen during this entire discussion

We need more Bley reactions on camera

I often find myself wandering around the wilderness with pots and pans in hand ;)

Sounded like Bearcat Goldthwait.

I love how this was the retraction video for the irresponsible advice in the episode... and the only thing I took away was "if its polar go solar!"

If it's polar, go solar. Show the polar bear your new electric camper van with built in solar panels. He will say "nice" and back off.

Watch "The Revenant" With Leo DiCaprio. You make think twice about camping in Brown Bear country.

@cleverusername9369

3 ай бұрын

That scene is BRUTAL

@cleverusername9369

3 ай бұрын

I was living in Colorado when I saw that and that scene plus weed plus hiking in the Rockies equaled an emotion I call "bearanoia"

@1bearmare

3 ай бұрын

Hilarious man!!@@cleverusername9369

I love this topic. I miss seeing animals on Conan, but I love it when they talk about them.😂😂😂😂😂 I hope nature facts becomes a regular

Could have posted this before my unfortunate bust up with Yogi

Bears talk like Grover confirmed

bit of a rocky start but this was a great team effort! Good job gourley, you were on it!

OMG!..........that was Hilarious! Loved your whole segment,....I'm in stitches. Hoo-Ha!

Conan don't you know you got to entertain the bear until you befriend it and it sits mesmerized by you 😂😂😂

This segment was hilarious.

In Churchill Manitoba, polar bear capital of the world, everyone leaves their doors unlocked in the event someone is stranded near a polar bear

In the early 1800s as trappers reached further into the west they encountered grossly bears. Their east coast rifles of maybe .36 to .45 caliber used for deer and maybe black bear proved inadequate for self grizly defense. As a result something generically called a mountain rifle was developed by Samuel Hawke, Tryon and other gun makers in Saint Louis, the jump off point for western exploration and trapping. The characteristics of the rifle were a heavier thicker stock. The furniture was made of steel for durability vs brass, a steel strap inlay under the barrel for carrying the gun across a saddle all day and finally the caliber of the lead ball fired rose from a minimum of .50 caliber (half inch) to about .75 caliber, or 3/4 inche in diameter they had one shot to stop charging Griz. The barrels were made thicker to withstand a bigger charge of black powder for greater velocity and impact. If you didnt make your single shot count, you were likely just never heard from again. Some of this is represented in the movie Jeramiah Johnson.

This bear attack bit is definitely a conan podcast highlight next to kevin nealon crying

What if later in life I remember some advice I heard on internet but fail to remember where from was that advice heard and it turn out to be from this podcast.

I love that the three of them did almost a copy of Jim Gaffigan's bit on bears and how the strategy of lying down and playing dead comes from the bears. Love it

You'll know is its a bear on the phone it'll keep calling you both boo boo 😂

@florete2310

3 ай бұрын

"Honey Boo-boo", perchance? That could also be Werner Herzog... Jeez. I referenced him twice in this thread. There must be a connection between him and these furry quadrupeds...

From Australia’s Park Services: For Koala Bears “Stay Back or Get the Clap”

@ocelotsly5521

3 ай бұрын

Koala, get rid o' ya or I'll pick up chlamydia.

Omg...Jen is working for the bears!

Conan, you’re the funniest man on the planet

Living in Brazil does not give me problems with bear encounters, but now I need useful information on what to do when encountering a puma or jaguar? Are there differences too how to behave near to them?

@juanr94

3 ай бұрын

I know that you can't turn around a pumas because they will attack you

I listened to Conan about bear attacks and now I have been eaten by a bear. THANKS CONAN!

Between the 3 of them they have one conscience. 😂

Sidenote: I really wish I could witness the moment Sona's twins can finally process what's been said about them on this podcast. 😂😭

So, *I actually did* get it right, then: It's "Chelsea Peretti's Bear / Mauling Podcast"... Can't wait to tune in😁👍

Koala: If it's small and grayed, don't get laid.

I know it's weird to request but I really want to see Conan doing ASMR video. it will help my journey to sleep a lot.

They need to do this year’s summer smores in bear country

High thought of the day: everyone born after 2021 knows Conan only as the podcaster and asks “He had a tv show once?”

@clementine2234

2 ай бұрын

I don't think people born in 2021 even know what a podcast is yet lol

starts the podcast to apologize for giving bad advice-/proceeds to give more bad advice lolol

OK. I'm going to be that guy: Actually koalas are not bears, they are marsupials and they don't have gonorrhea, many (about 50%) of them have chlamydia.

@jessed9145

3 ай бұрын

John Olivers koala Chlamydia research center is trying to help!

Also, correction, koalas often have chlamydia, not gonorrhea

@ThunderPants13

3 ай бұрын

Also, the term "koala bear" is a misnomer. Koalas are marsupials, not bears.

"If gonnohear, stear clear"

Conan's bear impression sounds suspiciously like Frank Oz.

"If it's polar, go solar" pretty good slogan ngl. They are indeed running out of ice :/

🤔📝"Go after the bear"... Got it👍

Jim gaffigan has entered the chat

"If it's polar, go solar" lol

I miss Conan's animal interactions. Please go on a field trip to a local zoo!

Lookout for Dropbears

I stick by the rhyme "Stay strapped or get clapped"

Conan I love you show. Can you have a Native person on the show maybe one of the ones from Canada or one from the Nation's there. Beautiful people over there

Too late... I saw i black bear and I immediately went FIIIIIIGHT! Because what you said. My lawyer will contact you shortly.

Now how do I find out which bear it is?

this is why it is sage advice to always hike with two other people - one of which you are faster than

And what about a panda? Do we quickly offer it an egg roll?

Jim Gaffigan has a similar joke about who says what to do when you see a bear. “Lay down on the ground. Don’t fight back. Don’t run away from us…..I mean the bears….”

That bear attack is Norms bit…

So that John West Salmon bear fight ad was wrong, Good to know.

@ZakFierce

3 ай бұрын

Well here they're talking about black bears and brown bears, a salmon bear encounter would play out differently

I’d just like to assert a couple facts about Koalas (as is my duty as an Australian). They are not bears. They are in fact not even mammals (they are marsupials). Also you guys appear to have been confusing Gonorrhoea with Chlamydia (which is an issue for the koala population). Thankyou for your time.

Nice

Too late Conan!!! I took your advice and went and attacked a bear and it DEFINITELY did not work out for me! Bear took my arms and legs off so I’m now typing with my nose covered in shazz! Damn you Coco and the Chill Chums, damn you all!!

We need to all collectively Cristen Conan " God of Comedy"

Classic 😂😢❤

If you see a brown bear, speak in a calm manner, letting it know that you’re there but not a treat. Do not surprise a brown bear. Wear bells. Back away diagonally from its path of travel. If it charges, it’s more likely a bluff charge so play dead. Be loud and big and scary for black bears. If it attacks you, it’s more likely that it intends to kill you and eat you so fight back

I bearly understand this!

I just offer polar bears an ice-cold Coca-Cola and it seems to do the trick.

Matt is either getting quick or this is what he's like when he's comfortable.

Now they need to make a THIRD video apologizing to Jim Gaffigan

“If you see a Conan you take it out and show em’ “

Y'all should be having this conversation with Mike Birbiglia!

Black Bear: Feed it until it's full. Brown Bear: Feed it until it's full. Polar Bear: Good Luck