Real victims are usually not heard while narcissists and abusers often are depicted as victims

@gfdhcbryk

10 ай бұрын

Yes

@aztekkr

9 ай бұрын

Yes. but you can't judge someone who says he was a victim of narcissistic abuse. Because that might be the reason why they're not heard.

@aztekkr

9 ай бұрын

What I wanna say, from my experience is, that victims of narcissists get it very late that they were victims. mostly one year after the abuse, because that's when the trauma fades. It's my personal experience. And I am so freaking glad to have chanels like that. I wouldn't know what happened to me and I felt really really lonely in that time. People who shared their experiences (And even there are a lot of narcissists I got the feeling, cause they like tricking people so the greatest way to get cash from their illness would be telling others about themselves and pretending and deceiving others with their behaviour in the Internet), but all these videos helped me really to understand and see the patterns.

@invisibleman4827

8 ай бұрын

Amber Heard

@Winston_P

8 ай бұрын

Real victims are warriors.

My late mother in law liked to indulge in what my husband called a tsuris contest---"My troubles are worse than your troubles". He learned to cut her off by saying "My life is great! Everything is going wonderfully!". She would be stunned into silence. For a while, anyway.

@barbarascoggins5239

9 ай бұрын

Smart Father! Has good power to not let negative enter their light

I've learned so much from your teachings these last few years, more than all the schooling I have had. I literally see you as an Deep Educational, Common-Sense and Truth Professor. I appreciate you very much. 🤗

Can you do a video on ADHD and its relationship with narcissism? I ask this because i recently read and watched videos of professionals correlating the two disorders. There are also numerous studies showing that of all people incarcerated in the USA, 40% have serious ADHD symptoms. It feels like ADHD is such a big problem in society and its been overlooked for many years and we are only learning it now. We need better care in this area but most people think its just video-games and too much tiktok and undervalue its consequences in the people suffering from it and those around them.

@samvaknin

10 ай бұрын

Can you search the channel?

@themagnifyingglass9813

10 ай бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/oH2ZyKSMpdmnd9o.html

@alenkar3802

10 ай бұрын

​@@samvakninl guess this is a personal fantasy. .as a continuation of my thinking...

The politics of resentment is what one sees. Resentment and pernicious envy are worse than cancer because its a contagious evil.

I 100% agree with you about vicious behavior in society and how skilled politicians became to take advantage on this to stay in power.

Yes! You are so on point with this. This is American politics right now and it is the reason why we are in so much trouble. I wish more of my fellow black people could see this. God bless u and your work sir.

I am 100% responsible for every action I have taken, every word I have spoken, and every thought I have had. Period. Regardless of circumstances.

@mahahabib3142

8 ай бұрын

Lol you don't even know if free will exists. No one does. There's no need to go this far. Remember, sam is a narcissist. Narcissists are really good at making you take 100% of the responsibility.

This is interesting and I was just looking up research to see if there was a connection between ADHD and traits such as sadism. The reasons I was looking for this was because, at least in my experience, the worst co-workers I've worked with had ADHD, displayed narcissistic traits, and were sadistic.

It's very interesting. I'd also add that basing one's entire political outlook on personnal trauma is misguided and potentially extremely destructive.

I've been told I have ADHD, but I have excellent identification, analysis, contemplation skills and impulse control... Of which got even better after using techniques and therapies for ADHD. I'm constantly missing amounts of a mandatory criteria to fit anyone definition. 😖

I have been saying this for a few years now. It's a insecure superiority complex. People believe they are better than others because of the degree of their victimhood status, and they use this status to subjugate others and bend them to their will. Especially when it comes to reparations in the United States. We have lawmakers proposing bills that would effectively take money from people who were never slave owners, and give it to people who have never been slaves. It's not about social justice, and it never has been. It's always been about social control and psychological domination.

*Can't believe I listened in total and agreed. Being Jewish do feel a victim? Great work here*

Your timing is absolute perfection with this one. Thank you.

Thank you for this video. I'm getting so deeply annoyed by the woke movement and even more annoyed that we let them have their way. Self-righteous victimhood status is the opposite of noble. It manages to claim entitlement for everything, no responsibility whatsoever, and the highest moral position, all at the same time. That's a 6 month old baby, not a grown adult. There is no morality without responsibility.

I can understand the ADHD activists. They need that stimulation arguing on twitter gives them. As a recently diagnosed 36 year old ADHD man I'll stick to good old alcoholism.

@scottlittlewood4527

10 ай бұрын

Adhd is a super power. Getting pissed reduces your super power.

@Anasto_

9 ай бұрын

​@@scottlittlewood4527it's only a superpower if youre not at the severe end of the spectrum

I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate your frequent uploads and cutting-edge research. I stumbled across the word, “narcissist” almost 3 years ago when looking into the reasoning for the emotionally unavailability of my now ex-husband. Since, the community has exploded in popularity and support. I will say it quite literally makes me grind my teeth when I encounter the flagrant and frequent misuse of the word, but it’s apart of the process as a movement I suppose.

You are very brave person Prof. Vaknin to speaking the truth.

Prof, how much does emotional maturity play a part in the professional victims? This all seems like childish behavior that is being enabled by those afraid to do anything

@samvaknin

10 ай бұрын

I agree. Refusal to grow up and own up to personal responsibility. Watch my interview with Macy Nelson.

im sorry you been tret so bad by people. I think you have a lot of good points. I think its important that to note they aren't in control the ones in control are the million and billionaires who make money from addictive social media and perpetuate and deepen mental health issues. they create winners and losers and its all just crumbs compared to what the owners of the platforms get. its way more toxic than even the worst newspapers

Bang on! Terrifying to hear but true.

I would be curious to hear you on countries and societies such as Iran and its Islamic Republic: how can men of such a regime can cope without emulating rigidity and power trip in their own relationship, I feel it’s an entire society that is broken...

more people need to hear this!!!!

That perpetual cycle of horsesh*! like Michael (RIP) Jackson sang..." I'm a lover not a fighter" ✨

How true you are

Can you please do a detailed video on ADHD please? Thank you

@samvaknin

9 ай бұрын

Can you search the channel?

watching this video after witnessing the way these movements responded to what's happened recently in Israel and Gaza is quite illuminating. Had no idea there was this much data to support what I was just intuitively picking up on earlier today. I read a comment online about how 'the side that has the power to completely cut off the supplies and resources of another is obviously not the victim'. Like its just a given that in every conflict there are two actors, 'the victim' and 'the abuser'. Apparently the 200+ people that are still held hostage are not victims. It made me want to search if you had anything on victimhood. One thing i've noticed about this people is that they are never funny, they might think they are but its this entirely referential social media style humor that just never lands to a person who isn't part of their social media circle. This makes sense cause ADHDers who use humor effectively are much less likely to get bullied in school than those who aren't, and so would be less likely to assume the victimhood identity, I think I actually may have learned that from one of your videos. I bet these people are mostly from the group of ADHDers that were socially excluded because they weren't able to develop a comedic acumen or alternative strategy to compensate for not being able to pay attention to their peers. Perhaps why they will also guilt-trip you being a fan of the wrong comedians and make a lot of inferences upon your character if you happen to use blue humor. There's even made a word, 'edgelord', that identifies you as a bad person because your sense of humor is verboten. And i'm not talking about like gross racist stereotypes, any joke that punches down even a little bit will be construed as a genuine reflection of your character, even if you spend 90 percent of the time punching up.

Brave as they come, thank you so much.

it's true what you say in the Nothingness' video: Best not to engage with too many other people in these dark times.

Could you do a video talking more about structural disassociation in Narcissists and Borderlines

@samvaknin

10 ай бұрын

Dissociation, not disassociation.

@samanthab8701

10 ай бұрын

👍

That's why non-violent resistance is so powerful. To use the oppressors' tactics only makes you one. Making a point means nothing if you lose your humanity in the process. I tell myself this whenever I am faced with the flying monkeys/people I love and want to protect. I say, " I don't know what his deal is, but it just isn't good for me. And I wish him well." They can only find out themselves. He would win if I told the truth. I would sound like a paranoid shitalker. I can only hope the point is made by continuing to live with love, and eventually, his subterranean nature will hopefully be exposed. Between you and me, the deeper I look... the more I think he might just be a true phycopath. I don't claim to know for sure. I don't know what to think. But i know enough now to know it isn't good. Something is very wrong. Thirty years spent and almost two years out. I'm still untangling his tentacles from my life and my mind. It's so hard not to warn people. But, I know they can't believe me. He is just that convincing. He is so kind, charming, humble, and moral... on the outside... I am starting to wonder if he was trying to intentionally drive me to suicide. Looking back at our thirty year history, I am afraid to wonder if he has managed to succeed at this before with other people. Am I splitting? No, if anything, I have been compulsively making excuses for him. Like my thoughts are not my own. I have been writing down intrusive/snake/repetitive thoughts and yelling,"bad man," in my head when they happen. Whatever you gotta do to get those fangs out of your neck, my friends! Anger is valid, but don't become the monster you are trying to fight by fighting like a monster. There are better ways. Ways with a conscience and empathy for the sad little children all monsters are deep deep... deep inside.

the funny part about it is when you've met someone like this, its obvious their narcissism would be so much more tolerable if they just owned it and didn't do this moral superiority shtick.

I have lived in all pervasive abuse for about two decades, but strangely I never felt like a victim. After I was told that I was a victim, I realized, that it makes sense. I was a victim of narcissistic abuse, before I got the information from the Professor about what is really going on. But I never felt like a victim. And I don't feel it now. I am a survivor and I got my part, my addition to abuse. It's very unpleasant, but true. I understand that I was a victim and he still abuses me, but I don't feel like a victim. Did I get it wrong? Should I feel like one?

@RFokus

10 ай бұрын

@@ceceliablair9177 I agree completely. And the truth is, that I was not a passive object, I added my part to abuse, which happened to me. The professor is so right, saiyig that we will make the same mistakes and will get in the same toxic relationships, until we realize our part. I don't feel guilty any more, accepting, that my mate selection sucked. I was so naive. I was terribly abused physically and mentally. But the worst thing for me was even not the physical abuse, but constant insencere communication, no possibility to trust and absence of any commitment. I am not a victim. Someone , who is a victim identity considered himself special because a bad thing happened to him. Shit happens to many of us and this fact doesn't make us special. 😀

@glenyshill72

7 ай бұрын

Book: 'Objectivity, Relativism and Truth'

I agree with this victim culture, but please, also explain where do the complaints stop and where the vindication starts. The authentic feminists va womanists (the same as machism); the true believers in transforming a society that is better for everyone and not just for a group. Who are these true believers?

When is it ok to disregard morality to get justice that is otherwise not being addressed?

@samvaknin

10 ай бұрын

Never.

100%

While relating to "victimhood", it appears to be something missing to some degree while one leaves out the severily many obstacles to be faced where genetical or other premises are bound to come with much limitation. While with some ADHD'ers, to pick an example, mental abilities related to a more properly functioning hippocampus may be improved enough through medications to allow for the minimum that may in time serve to make way for taking degrees, while others may what ever attempts be dependant on repetitions to the point of often hiding what would otherwise be possibly becomming motorical as well as other skills. Forget never that we all need somehow to experience to be content with ourselves to a minimun, neither that lack of such experiences serves negatively on the paths to shape personalities. I say: "Where abilities seems particularly slowly to become adopted, there in particular will adverse paths to the happiness needed to keep up the speed be of importance." I'm then asked: "So you mean that we should serve them the chocolate, anyway, completed tasks or not?" the answer being always "serve never anything containing consentrated fructose what ever reason there is for serving, as that would only hurt by harming the mitochondria that's in great need of some by fructose limited enzymes, meaning that not only the brain, but also in particular the liver that otherwise is producing proper amounts of energy including ketones for the brain will much sooner loose its ability to function properly, after which all sorts of issues arises." As if issues were not counting many enough in the first place. There's however no end, it appears, to the unpopularity that one may have to endure for simply speaking against chocolate before one has given up to speak for health at all among those being responsible for people's healths, including not the least our children's health. Other responsibilities to always relate to comes no doubt with great losses, too, as opinions, one should mind, are for those who are in possession of determinational rights, meaning then rights of the kind that lets one determinate not only the present and the future but also the past that one otherwise would be able to build a future upon.

based

Yep, I have met a few zealots. Humans make me nervous in groups. Once again, the mentality of taking advantage of people's humanity. Makes me glad my brain does not think that way. Sounds like a pointless and sad way to think. Shifty grifters. I hesitated to ask people to understand my challenges. Most of the people in my life have no idea I have mild autism. The three people I have told and who have known me forever just laugh and say that explains a few things. The difference is that yes, I may have some cognitive differences, but I and my loved ones don't view them as negative or me as a victim. I am amazed by the variety of human minds. Good/evil just feels like a painting done only in primary colors. The world i see is much more nuanced. I may have challenges, but so does everybody. We don't choose the hand we are dealt, only how we play it(;

@glenyshill72

7 ай бұрын

Well said : )

I've thought this for a long time but wanted to be wrong.

Consficatory moralism