I used to be a meth addict. I quit years ago. I still smoke. Smoking has been harder for me to quit than meth. I think it has to do with the speeds of decay. You notice how fast you fall apart while on meth, you can conceptually understand it every time a shadow turns into a malicious spirit. Every time you realize you haven’t slept or ate in days. With cigarettes, it’s a slow decay. Slowly you get more and more out of breath, slowly you feel weaker. You don’t notice it, because it sneaks up on you.

@thomashightower7881

Жыл бұрын

I don't smoke cigarettes, but I do struggle with meth. It's crazy how quickly structure and stability just fall to the wayside

@fromthebackseat4865

Жыл бұрын

@@thomashightower7881 yeah, fastest I ever fell apart was the year or so I used meth daily. Went from a somewhat normal(addictive tendencies aside) person into a complete disaster by the 5th month. Stay strong man. Idk what your situation is now but things get a lot better and a lot easier with time.

@zeallust8542

Жыл бұрын

"Every time a shadow turns into a malicious spirit. Every time you realize you havent slept or ate in days" I have never done meth, but I have been, and still am, an addict. These 2 phrases are... Very very relatable. My addiction currently is alcohol, and it causes a lot of that. Sometimes I wake up, covered in bugs and the only way to get rid of them is to drink again and "cure" my withdrawals. Shadows move, follow me even, I've waited in line behind shadows to go to my own bathroom. That one was a reality check to me, it went from hallucinations to just a path of life and a delusion. I just, waited my turn. Alone. It wasnt until later that I realized it was a delusion. So what did I do? I drank it away.

My dads smoked since he was 11, in the early 70s, he stopped around 2016/17. To think all the money he’s spent over the years and how hard it is to kick, I’m really proud of him.

@Phil.Anthropy

Жыл бұрын

Seriously admirable.

@ownerlesscat7523

Жыл бұрын

your dad is dead now tf??

@dcj991

Жыл бұрын

@@ownerlesscat7523 no he's not. There's plenty of examples of 90 year olds smoking all their life. It's a gamble and the odds aren't on your favor but it's possible to live long despite it

@hellogoodbye4402

Жыл бұрын

@@dcj991 better late than never

@casedistorted

Жыл бұрын

Yea really sucks vaping wasn't around before like early 2010's because it is at least 99% healthier than cigs and definitely half as expensive.

It’s funny, I’ve never had an addictive personality, I’ve tried all manner of drugs, I’ve smoked plenty of friends’ cigarettes, but the only substance I could never quit is cannabis.

@Yt-jc5sj

Жыл бұрын

My theory is that since we all have different brains and personalities we don't "click" with different substances the same way. I believe anyone can become addicted to something if they end up trying the wrong substance/behavior that fit their specific personality and/or brain chemistry

@wintermute4544

Жыл бұрын

checks out, it's def. not easy for some people (i am also some people)

@mrbwfiman2899

Жыл бұрын

Weed isn’t physically addictive but I feel like it makes everything so much more vivid so when you get used to that pleasant buzz from getting high it can become very difficult to enjoy things the same way without it.

@f-man3274

Жыл бұрын

maybe because most of the substances have harsh withdrawals but cannabis does not

@Teeplesexe

Жыл бұрын

Ha same

I think every time you quit smoking, even if it doesn't stays as long as you want, you still did quit. You were able to pause it and for me, a complete random stranger on the internet, it is at least a small win. One idea would be, instead of saying: "I will never smoke again" >>> "I will only buy two cigarette boxes per week" or "I only smoke for X days and pause for Y, while trying to not increase my cigarettes per day on the smoking days." I hope these ideas can help you (and others). Every cigarette you didn't smoke helps. Godspeed to you all. Side note: This might not work, because I don't know about drugs. I am not interested in that. So I can only hope this can help. Therapist exists that might can help you more, much more.

@5austen

Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately while logically sound. This tactic usually doesn't work for the same reason people go from smoking 2 a day to a pack a day. It is disgustingly addictive and more importantly. U just need them when ur stressed. And once u break that promise ur addict brain is like well i fucked up might as well smoke all I want now.

@thatyoutubechannel9953

Жыл бұрын

Cold turkey is shown to be the most commonly effective method to actually totally quit, but I've tried probably a dozen or more times to quit by giving myself time minimums between cigs. Currently doing 1 every 2 hours on work days and closer to one per hour on non-work days. It's a lot easier when I'm busy, once every 2 hours is better than I've done in months, maybe years

@sunorcio3901

Жыл бұрын

entirely and drastically quitting is the most effective and it really makes sense, thats how our mind usually works, quitting will hurt, it just will, fast or slow, taking the slow burn and then falling into the increased relief of going back after a while then repeating, it just goes on and on, at that point the most effective is just feeling neither proud nor shame, stay constant or quit entirely, otherwise the fluctuation will spend your mind and dissuade you from other things you care about.

I'm having a shit ton of trouble convincing my friend to quit drinking because it's starting to ruin our friendship now

@uncagedpine9589

Жыл бұрын

If someone chooses to drink and you do not want to drink, just cut the person out of your life. Its not worth the trouble. They wont quit unless they choose too.

@fishsmell3939

Жыл бұрын

You should give him a b j .

@SanguineThor

Жыл бұрын

@@uncagedpine9589 This is fucking terrible advice LMAO. If you really care for your friend, help them stop prioritizing drinking over anything. i had a friend who literally had to go to rehab multiple times, sure as hell didnt happen because everyone just abandoned him because of the addiction.

@uncagedpine9589

Жыл бұрын

@@SanguineThor You dont need to abandon them but I personally, am not going to have a person who is actively harming themselves in my life. I dont need the stress or drama of this. It is their repsonsibility to become a responsible adult. It doesnt mean you dont show up if they need help, but do not actively participate with someone who is doing something that is effecting you negatively.

@salty_3k506

Жыл бұрын

Hey, you can do it. Be there for your friend. It's hard not to give up and also not letting it consume you in sadness. But I think you can do it and I hope that you can manage to keep them from their addiction.

For me, addiction is really hard to break because of the "well, maybe just one more-" mentality

@zeallust8542

Жыл бұрын

The "guess this is my last cigarette" is very telling at the end of this video. You know it wont be Leadheads last. She knows it. She already "lost" at that point. I do the same with my own addictions.

I'm very glad I've avoided the peer pressure to smoke and drink, especially with how incredibly cigarette heavy my high school was. I certainly hope you can find a way to free yourself from the hell they've brought you. The fact they were so heavily romanticized for decades, the marketing that companies like marlboro put out, it ruined so many people and keeps getting more people, often young and impressionable ones addicted decades after they were found to be, as Cave Johnson would say, pure poison.

@0bashie

Жыл бұрын

Full agree, the most terrible thing is that addicted people don't even realize they no longer have control over the intake.

@PancakemonsterFO4

Жыл бұрын

Its easy if you are a outsider, and i never liked the taste of beer anyway so i wouldn't drink outside of social circles either

@handledis

Жыл бұрын

@@PancakemonsterFO4 welcome in the: never going to be an alcoholic club

@PancakemonsterFO4

Жыл бұрын

@@handledis hey, i can still become an always depressed artist with a wine addiction

@handledis

Жыл бұрын

@@PancakemonsterFO4 lol tru, but alch is not that type of drug u go rampart on with it tasting "bad" for u in the first place

Make smoking as inconvenient for yourself as you can. The flat I live in has had a few smokers move in and i've gotten all but one to take their smoking out to the parking lot in front, its only a short walk away, probably a few meters at most, but as far as I can tell its gotten them all to quit.

@PancakemonsterFO4

Жыл бұрын

You mean like put them in the garage behind lots of boxes so everytime you do want to smoke you have to put in so much efford its not even worth it?

I started smoking a few months ago after reaching my first station in the Army. It gave me a break from tiring and monotonous work, where me and a few guys of similar rank could shoot the shit without the NCOs watching us closely. It was an easy opportunity to connect with those around me who already smoked and it helped resolve the building stress that left me demotivated and completely exhausted by the end of the week I think one thing that saved me was the fact that, in my naivete, I bought a pack of Reds as my first. The dizzy feeling I got after smoking never quite sat right with me so I didn't enjoy the experience, it felt more like a need than a want, and I limited myself to 1 a week. Eventually, 5 weeks later, after an especially late Thursday night fixing tanks with the mechanics, I smoked my last cigarette. I realized, once I got back to my room, that I was narrowly avoiding something I knew to be bad and needed to stop, so i just kinda did. I still have that pack of Reds, half full but not touched for weeks, only there for when I go to the smoke pit to talk and a colleague forgot their pack in their room. I don't know why but the stresses of work just don't hit me as bad anymore, so I don't need anything to help I don't understand if I'm smart or just lucky, but I'm not going to risk it again.

@Bilbs654

Жыл бұрын

It's good that you don't need to rely on that crutch to deal with the Army man. Best of luck to you.

@nthedecent7717

2 ай бұрын

The fact that pack is still there is a double-proof of your smarts. You're smart enough to exercise control, and you're smart enough to keep good company, since nobody has really taken advantage of you having those spares to give.

Holy shit, this video is a masterpiece. When you were talking about romanticizing it, it sent chills down my spine because I thought I was the only one. I would quit for a while, but then I would keep thinking about the good times I had smoking with friends and listening to music outside on the beach, and smoking to try and take me back to that place when I wasn't as depressed and miserable as I normally was and was happy for a moment, not thinking about my homelife or school. And then I started again because me and my girlfriend had a rough patch, and I kept thinking that the cigarette/vape would help me deal with being totally overwhelmed by life. Even now, I still catch myself romanticizing being a tortured artist smoking to ease the pain, like Kurt Cobain or something. I'm gonna try and quit again soon, so wish me luck!! I've wasted too much money on nicotine, and time. I also am a singer, and hearing you say that you've had to retrain your voice really hit close to home, because I keep trying to convince myself that vaping hasn't impacted my voice when I know it has, I just hope not permanently. The only problem is, I know when I quit nicotine keeping a healthy relationship with marijuana is gonna be 10x harder. So I might have to quit that too, or at least get it under control and not use it to keep my anxiety in check or make me feel something. I'm hoping I can finally go to therapy soon too since I'm moving out, so I don't have to use substance to feel not horrible all the time. Thank you.

i love the video essays, but again it’s nice to see the real you every now and again :) talking about addiction is something no one is usually comfy with. i’m struggling with something that isn’t necessarily an addiction, coffee. as i said in a past video i love the videos bro ❤️

@youtubeviolatedme7123

Жыл бұрын

Caffeine addictions are just as pervasive as nicotine addictions, but the only difference is that obviously one is severely more lethal than the other.

@Bozo_Lord

Жыл бұрын

@@youtubeviolatedme7123 agreed, luckily i’ve been able to “sober” up but once school starts i find myself in a spiral. impulse buying coffee and caffeine products just to keep me awake. although, i have found that working out is a great “distraction” from my addiction.

@yerpedy

Жыл бұрын

maybe nix the "bro"?

@Bozo_Lord

Жыл бұрын

@@yerpedy mf huh

@Bozo_Lord

Жыл бұрын

@@yerpedy bro isn’t a pronoun and don’t make this shit that. she’s a great content creator and we all know just as good as you should that bro is a broad term and not a god damn pronoun omfg.

Shit… I’m trying to quit ciggies right now. Haven’t done the math, because I’m scared to. Nicotine has been my worst addiction that I love. Not mentally, but physically. Good luck on quitting….”for real this time” hahaha. Edit: love the dress, anyone know where I can get it?

@ckieee

Жыл бұрын

it's not about quitting, it's about not smoking

@albertweber1617

Жыл бұрын

Do the math, it helps

@ziggyboogydude1

Жыл бұрын

go 2 thrift store

Second try, been a smoker for six years. Two months away from Two years clean again, I saw the cover and knew this was gonna hit me. It's been wild, and I owe this current track cause a friend helped me out while I had to deal with family talking about a different person while taking my time hanging out with the friends. It's powerful to just have this video out here. Thanks.

@mamertens99

Жыл бұрын

I hope you can stay quit. Godspeed

Off the cuff, being a long time smoker myself, I had quit successfully (for a time) by riding a bike 100km+ to a countryside with no shops around and stayed there for 10 days. At some point (day 3) I started inhaling through a disassembled pen just to get that oral-fix, but it was an overall great approach, fresh air, no familiar triggers (for smoking) and plenty of random shit to do (like build a peer or learn throwing knives). If the circumstances permit, I'd suggest giving something like that a shot!

One of the few factors preventing me from smoking is: 1. I come from a family of smokers, thus being exposed to second hand smoke had a tremendous effect on my health. 2. The fear of addiction kept me on line. My mind put shackles on any substance I ever put into my body.

I had that same romanticism around smoking myself, this video very much touched a nerve with me. I quit myself like 3 years ago and I could still murder a smoke

@gramursowanfaborden5820

Жыл бұрын

AAAaaa GOOD sword and a TRUUUsty hand, a mEEERY heart and TRUUEE

@therealsunnyk

Жыл бұрын

I think it's not romantic, it's advertising. The cigarette companies have put cigarettes in all those places to build that association. Maybe one way to break the mental cycle is to build an understanding that it's yet another machine vying for your control. That's not romantic.

I’ve never been addicted to cigarettes or drugs, but everyone in my family had their addictions. Mine is food. Not to the point that I gorge myself daily, but to the point where I always need to be munching on something, even when I’m no hungry. Even when I know I won’t enjoy it. Even when I know it’s not healthy. I tell myself that I don’t need it, but it just feels wrong to not always be eating something. I’ve recently dropped out of the healthy bmi range, so I’ve been trying to make some changes to fix it. But I understand where you’re coming from when you try to stop. It’s not the hunger that gets me, it’s my brain telling me that I need to be eating something. And I try to shut it up, try to distract myself, but everything I do to distract me is tainted, because I’m supposed to be eating food while I do this!

@sirshotty7689

Жыл бұрын

I don’t really know how to respond because I get those exact same feelings. It feels like no matter what I do I keep falling into the same cycles of just mindless eating. I’ve tried dieting and distracting my mind with video games and gum but it’s never a permanent solution and I keep falling back on it. When my mental state is really bad sometimes I don’t feel like eating anything for days at a time but my body just does it anyways despite that. I’ve never gotten to the morbidly obese range but I’m overweight and my weight consistently just bounces up and down while I’m slowly trending towards the 400lb range and that just terrifies me.

@Ktotokroto

Жыл бұрын

This hit way too close to home.

@youtubeviolatedme7123

Жыл бұрын

Pack and packs and packs of Gum was how I got off my compulsive eating disorder. Also, watching people on KZread scarf down a crazy amount of food all at once somehow satiates me, but also disgusts me.

I’ve got 4 stories about addiction from my extended family, two happy endings and two not. I’ll start with the happy. My uncle quit smoking with a bet. A buddy of his bet him somewhere between $100-$500 (I’m a little foggy on the amounts) that he couldn’t go 6 months without a cigarette. My uncle took that bet and won the money and that was enough of a push to get him to quit the habit. My grandfather on the other side of my family quit smoking by replacing cigarettes with candy. Any time he got a craving he got something sweet. He has diabetes now but diabetes runs on that side of the family (my grandmother, aunt, and mother all have it) so not adding lung, throat, or mouth cancer to that list probably added a good 10-15 years to the end of his life and it’s allowed him to be in mine which I will forever be grateful for. Now the sad. My grandfather on the side with the uncle died about 6 months before I was born to throat cancer iirc. My dad always brings it up around my birthday, not to be all preachy or anything, I think he’s just sad is father never got to meet his son. My aunt on that side of my family died of a drug overdose. She had quit for years and was raising a daughter with her partner (I wanna say husband) who she met in rehab for years at this point. But one day she had to get a surgical procedure done that required anesthesia and because of her addiction her body had built up a tolerance to it that meant the doctors had to use an excessive amount. My dad thinks that’s what did her in because a short time later she died of an overdose because she tried to use to much her first time back in. She did this with her partner too and they both ended up dying, orphaning their child that the uncle in the first story has been raising for the past two decades or so. I know this last story doesn’t pertain to cigarettes but it is still a story of an addictive substance and I found it pertinent to share here. As you mentioned I think you’re biggest hurdle is the romanticization and yeah it’s a tough hurdle. My suggestion if you’re open to it is to make list, write it down on paper of every activity that makes you want a cigarette, everything that triggers your ritual and see if you can either divorce that activity from smoking or find a new ritual that goes with that activity. You have to find a new romantic image of yourself that doesn’t account for smoking, it doesn’t factor into your life, it’s not an aspect of yourself. Even if you think these things aren’t true pretend they are and you will engage in actions in line with that vision of yourself. The person who refuses a cigarette because “they aren’t a smoker” will always have better success than the person who refuse because “they’re trying to quit” even if they’re both technically smokers.

I can tell you from experience that tapering off works. I just changed my "smoking times" from "whenever i feel like it" to breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then once I was used to a lower amount of nic, I brought it down to one per day, then once used to that, one every few days. It really works, eventually you just stop thinking about it. Good luck!

I used to smoke because it was “cool” then I woke up coughing like a 70-year-old corporate villain, and realized it’s just not cool. It’s a lot cooler to be fit when the whole world is slouching over and giving into the changes that are happening now. Dr K is a great KZreadr and he once mentioned that people who start an addiction before I 20 tend to find it harder to quit usually. There are usually triggers that you can pin point that help you quit. I had to stop taking cig breaks at work, and it worked for a long time until I replaced each “special” cig for something else Good luck!

@user-fs9mv8px1y

Жыл бұрын

what's cool is chugging 4 liters of water a day cuz i'm a thirsty bitch

@Moto_Medics

Жыл бұрын

HealthyGamerGG is how you find this Dr. K btw he is an amazingly helpful creator

@saedt

Жыл бұрын

@@Moto_Medics absolutely! Love Dr K!

I quit smoking 6 years ago. I figured approaching age 40 would be the turning point: I’d be paying for the cigarettes with my health sooner rather than later at that point. Quit in my 30s. But 6 years later I STILL miss cigarettes, I still feel like a smoker and think I always will. Contrast that with alcohol (I’m a recovering alcoholic). I haven’t had a drink in 11 years or any other drug of abuse in that time. I don’t miss drinking or other drugs, at all! Ever really. But the smokes? Yep, I miss them. Smoking goes deep into your identity somehow. Still damn glad I quit.

Strange, this is really right when im starting to quit

@GuangkaZ

Жыл бұрын

Same

@CSM100MK2

Жыл бұрын

Get over yourself, you aren't the main character this isn't about you.

People don't seem to understand how hard quitting cigarettes is. I've heard heroin addicts say quitting cigs is harder. I was a pack and a half a day smoker for about 10 years. Took me several attempts to quit smoking. I tried repeatedly for three years. I tried every method; patches, lozenges, gum, vaping... Everything. The intention was to quit cigarettes before I got on HRT. I actually waited nearly an entire year to get on HRT, because I wanted off cigs first. I eventually went on HRT despite smoking. At one point, my doctor even prescribed Chantix, but my insurance wouldn't cover it. At 11 months HRT, I finally quit. 171 days off cigs. What finally worked for me was nicotine patches with nicotine lozenges for cravings. That combo worked.

@tophatvn8278

Жыл бұрын

It's true, I've never been addicted to cigs, I've only smoked like 15 cigs in my entire life and it's all been given from my friend on the days that I needed morning concentration and cigs are a fast way to get focus. The last cig I smoked was 6 months ago but jfc sometimes I still found myself wanting the "taste" of cigarettes even though these things never really tasted like anything.

By far the most meaningful video about addictions and cigarettes I've ever watched. :) I've been a smoker for the last 7 years, and it's rare to watch a video without any moralizing message, but still inspiring, as I'm still trying to quit. Really good to feel related to someone talking about this stuff. Awesome work, and let's hope to quit this habit soon.

Darn, I thought this was gonna be an Ahoy like video about cigarettes in video games, this was better

@marioformicadae6637

Жыл бұрын

That isn't exactly a bad idea for a video, but I sure as hell don't know how I'd be able to do the research.

@El_Frutero

Жыл бұрын

@@marioformicadae6637 I mean... he did one on explosive barrels so sky's the limit

It's never a good time to quit. Something will ALWAYS come up trying to derail you. You have the strength within you to stop anything you don't like about yourself. Ever forward.

Personaly having done therapy on and hard research on addiction, i can say that Vaas from Far Cry 3 was right about the definition of insanity. I think the most brutal part about addiction is the delusion that you know why you are addicted and how to quit and ending up in an self deluted infinite cycle. If you try to achieve something for 5 years with no results and still try to do it the same way than you need to try something new. After years of observing your own addiction, people tend to get delusional about underatanding their addictions which leads to an endless cycle. My insight is that after 10 yers of learning and fighting addiction i barely had any idea why i was addicted until i worked with a couple of talented therapists.

@youtubeviolatedme7123

Жыл бұрын

I've been wondering for a while, how does understanding why someone is addicted to something tie into to finding a solution to that addiction? Like, if someone began smoking because they thought it made them look cool, is it likely the solution is to make them think smoking actually makes them uncool?

@martinsaarts7305

Жыл бұрын

@@youtubeviolatedme7123 In reality if someone is addicted to smoking they might have at first thought they did it because its cool or whatever but usually its not that black or white. If the only reason they ever smoked is just because it looked cool on tv then it would probably be easy to quit but most likely over time it starts to serve different functions than that. Since the subconscious is behind our decision making a lot of the time then you might conceptualise that you do it to look cool or fit in but a lot of the time its compleatly irrelevant what we think and remember because we are not actually aware whats behind our decision making since its subconscious. In reality if you do it to look cool if youd dig a little deeper in psychotheraphy you might find out instead that you are coping with social anxiety and smoking helps you have a peace of mind. And even more deeper you might find out that behind that social anxiety is the fear that you cant be your true self infront of people because you have rejection trauma from your parrent from childhood. You might be completely unaware that you have that trauma and not even have any memory of it but deeply on the physical and psychological level this event now causes social anxiety. Despite of all that someone with that kind of trauma would be totally unaware that thats going on and would think that he smokes bwcause it just feels good.

@youtubeviolatedme7123

Жыл бұрын

@@martinsaarts7305 Your reply was more interesting than I expected it would be. Thanks for taking the time to write that out. I think I'm going to read more about this in my spare time.

@VeryDAWD

Жыл бұрын

Vaas didn’t come up with that bro 💀

Please dont ever stop making videos.

My grandmother on my mother's side died in part from smoking, I don't remember how specifically, I was like 6 when it happened. But from what I've heard said grandmother was a total badass, the stuff she went through in her life was legitimately wild, an orphan hopping from house to house, dealing with all manner of challenges and abuse. And I'm kinda sad I never really got to know her. I guess what I'm saying here is if it gives any meaning to quiting, it's that some day, some dumbass relative in your future can get to know someone as cool as you. Because in the end the fact that she smoked was the least relevant part of that women's crazy life. Life is a far greater poetry than the specifics of how it ends.

“It’s just like a cigarette no one’s really fooled once in a while just between me and you It’s just like a cigarette I don’t want the truth I just want to feel fucking cool.” -Mike Shinoda

You claim that there's no negative mental image, like a lazy stoner or abusive alcoholic for cigarettes. I've got one for you: cigarette lady. You know one of these.

Completely disagree. The most dangerous side of an addiction is absolutely the fantasy and the love you feel. You'll never stop smoking those fucking things because you're still in love with them, you're in an abusive relationship where you can't give up your partner because you still love them. If you really want to stop smoking and cut your addictions (any addiction) you need to start to loath the fucking thing. You have to hate the feeling and the idea of smoking, you have to hate the idea of your teeth rotting, your body being weaker, your skin looking sickly, the smell you force others to put up with... You need to hate the idea of smoking if you'll ever stop. By the way you talk about it you're not even close to ready.. Trying to give up will always be a losing battle because love beats out logic 95% of the time. Maybe a hot take, but it's honest.

@samcharles1166

Жыл бұрын

interesting take, whenever a substance was fucking with me at work the next day I'd always curse it, maybe that hate let me quit it easier, though that only works if the substance has a lasting effect or hangover

@barathdandu7652

Жыл бұрын

I completely agree with this comment. The only reason i could quit is because smoking made me feel a lot weaker in the and started changing my body. I couldn't even workout for an hour anymore. my friends also started to point out that my lips were changing color. Didn't want to pay for something that will make you worse. After 4 years finally quit because i seriously started hating it.

@PancakemonsterFO4

Жыл бұрын

I dunno, you don't have to turn your ex into literally “the one that shall not be named“, sometimes you can even keep being friends with said person once your feelings cooled down a bit and you don't start to immediately dial them up everytime you are drunk and ask for another chance

@youtubeviolatedme7123

Жыл бұрын

Finally, someone in this entire comment section who actually understands what it takes to quit an addiction.

@samcharles1166

Жыл бұрын

@@PancakemonsterFO4 I dunno bro, I think theres different levels of addiction, going too deep on a substance for a couple weeks is incomparable to an hourly administered addiction lasting years. I am fortunate enough none of my addictions have left me with lifelong lifestyle changes. But I wouldn't advise letting your guard down with a more serious addiction.

I've been watching your bids for a while and I have also been struggling with addiction to cigarettes and other substances since 16 and this helps me properly put things into perspective. And the whole reason I started was because it fitted an asthetic

I really enjoy these types of videos. Since I don't have the willpower to finish alot of games it's nice to be able to watch a leadhead video from time to time without spoilers. Thanks for posting, you're a real inspiration to me. Oh and I did get a notification for this video so KZread seems to be working again

Good luck! My Dad was in the same boat as you for years, tried quitting so many times. Eventually it worked out and he hasn't had a cigarette in over half a decade. You'll get there, it may not be now, or tomorrow, but you'll get there. You got this

This was different than your normal content, but a welcome change. Thank you for making this.

did this get supressed? it didn't show up in my subbox.

My mom quit cigarettes probably 5 times while I was growing up. After the fourth time she hid it from us for months. I was angry with her then. n Now I'm sneaking every time I go to smoke weed 3 or so time a day, despite them knowing and tolerating because I feel bad about it. I understand now and wish I hadn't been rude to her for it. She quit smoking the last time when my niece turned six months old. Shes had a few cigarettes while drinking since then, but she doesn't smoke anymore and the smell makes her sick. She still gets cravings, but not often.

I think I've commented on your channel before about this, but your bravery to speak on these deeply personal topics is inspiring. I can't speak from experience, but I hope that you can have the personal victory of, if not quitting altogether, lessening your dependency.

hey, uhm, respectfully, you look really really good

My father died of cancer last year, due to smoking since around the same age, 16, up to his end, 53, I never hated him for being an addict to cigarettes and such, the last two months I had to go in the middle of the night to go buy him a new pack, every day, if not, he was willing to go while barely being able to walk, he started when smoking was a "good thing" and "kids should do it too" era. I can only hate the corporations and the politicians refusing to ban it, it's an extremely addictive product, and very profitable. I feel bad for everyone that fell into cigarettes, it's a path that's almost if not imposible to climb out of alone. We bought him camel his last two months, he always bought the cheapest pack posible, it was already terminal by when we catched it.

@00maniacmanny00

Жыл бұрын

Banning cigarettes will just create a black market, that's what happened in Australia and every other country that had cigarette bans. Personal freedom should exist anyway.

@crafteromatic

Жыл бұрын

@@00maniacmanny00 that's like saying that asbestos should be allowed since there we still be people trying to sell it or buy it

@theEndermanMGS

Жыл бұрын

@@crafteromatic The difference is that cigarettes are an addictive drug, asbestos aren’t. Don’t criminalize people for addiction, get them help.

@crafteromatic

Жыл бұрын

@@theEndermanMGS I don't criminalize people for getting addicted to it, I criminalize the companies and the cowards that refuse to ban it

@theEndermanMGS

Жыл бұрын

@@crafteromatic Banning is criminalizing. If they criminalize it for anybody, it will always be those who got hooked rather than the ones exploiting tobacco’s addictive properties for a quick buck. It’s politics 101.

Just discovered your channel… wow! Your work is fantastic. If I were as eloquent as you, I’d write more about why I enjoy your videos so much. Cheers!

I thought this video was about cigarettes in gaming lol

This is why I don't touch em. I've a very addictive personality.

@mamertens99

Жыл бұрын

Good that you are able to work with it and you know your limits. Godspeed

Made me tear up a bit hearing your truth. This is not the first story about addiction I’ve watched, but as someone who’s steered clear of drugs it’s definitely one of the most eye-opening. I hope your struggle will become easier to bear sis

As someone that's 24 and has smoked since 17, I'm glad I saw this video. I started smoking freshman year because I wanted to be cool. I stopped after we moved that summer. I wasn't until senior year I had my first kiss and since she smoked I got dragged back into it. She is long gone of course but it definitely affects my life constantly now and I hate it.

"This can't be good for me but I feel great." - Postal Dude

This is phenomenal. The lighting and the tone of your voice. Damn me.

@mugglepower

Жыл бұрын

I used to smoke a lot in high school. Like more than a pack a day. Weaned off it since I started college, still enjoy one occasionally. The combustion is umf

The production value of this a beauty to behold, the neon colour palette, that blurry chromatic aberration, those looping animation in the background, hell even the ambient and natural melody of the noise produced by the crickets is just adding layers to it, what an atmospheric video!!!

Even though i have asthma, and cant physically relate to having smoked a cigarette, i can really relate to this video in terms of my eating disorder. You gotta make those little steps first before you take those drastic leaps, and im glad that there is someone who is willing to honestly talk about this who doesn't boil it down to cigarettes = evil and more of they're bad for me but they are a lesser evil. Great work as always leadhead.

Smoke: (idk ive never played siege)

13:40, jokes on you, you're not gonna disappoint us, we understand how impossible this seems, and how hard it truly is for people to quit, so just know we're with you, we believe in you, and good luck, you can do it.

I’ve personally never dealt with any kind of addiction, at least regarding my own actions, but I’ve seen it happen to those around me in various capacities and it’s always terrified me probably to the point of irrationality. That said, I really struggle to blame anyone who ends up in a position like yours. As you said, it almost becomes more of a mental battle against the vision of yourself you have in your head rather than anything more “physical”. All this to say, I appreciate your honesty on the topic and I do not have a hint of judgment in regards to your actions, success in quitting or failure trying, and I’m sure many feel the same way. Your willingness to try means more than success or failure as far as I’m concerned, though obviously that isn’t to say success isn’t the goal. Best of luck and try not to be too harsh on yourself.

this hits hard because the emotional side of smoking is the main reason why i still do it. i grew up in a family that had a huge stigma against cigs (for good reason, my grandparents both died from lung cancer) so i always felt immense guilt from smoking. now that i’m on my own i don’t give a fuck anymore, and i don’t really care to quit. i like it too much. maybe that’s addiction talking and maybe it’s a shitty thing to say, and i’m sure i’ll change my mind later in, but that’s genuinely how i feel now. there’s nothing like coffee and cigarettes in the morning.

Your video shows a different side of the coin ive never really thought of, as someone who has never even cared much for smoking or drinking, thinking those people are genuine losers. This video sorta humanizes those people for me i still will never do it but i can see how it can be so addictive physically and mentally a struggle that leaves you wanting more than anything.

Thank you for this video and perspective. It’s scary how similarly I was introduced to this habit and how it has manifested. I hope your vertigo gets better with time, while I have never experienced something like that I can definitely say the best thing we can do is just make healthier choices. I wish you the best of luck.

Best of luck! I'm enjoying how honest and personal your videos are

My look at it, aside from common understanding of addiction and personal belief systems, also connects it with popculture representation of smoking. The showcase of some vague badassery or rebelion, noticible broadcast of "Hardass Bad Boy" etc, this part got shaped by movies and books. Hell, I got to smoke like... few times, mainly to feel at the level of a family member I tried to impress several times (or at least to not feel that I am worse than them), one of characters I made is a chainsmoker (tho that character is a non-mortal creature so it's quite a mute point). I never got into smoking really hard, I far more got into coffee but that one is relatively cheaper and has more uses than a pack of cigs. Sry for a personal tangent. Just wanted to bring in attention that it's not just a you problem, that it's not just you who got into romanticising smoking

@youtubeviolatedme7123

Жыл бұрын

Yup, that's why they banned tv and radio ads for cigarettes in 1971

@MnemonicHeadTrip

Жыл бұрын

Cowboy bebop fucked up my perception of smoking lol it really is cool as fuck from face value but in reality its awful

About the vertigo, have you been checked for MS (multiple sclerosis)? I had pretty much the exact same symptoms including being exacerbated by stress. My doctor didn't have a clear idea what it was, and eventually I got referred to a neurologist for another symptom (weird numbness/sensitivity in parts of the body) and it turned out I had MS. Now I'm on treatment for that and haven't had a bad case of either since. Good luck on the quitting front regardless!

I know this was a while ago but I hope quitting cigarettes is going well for you - recognising the cost of this habit and your romanticisation of it is progress in itself. Thank you for making this video

This is the most relatable and honest discussion of cigarette addiction I’ve ever seen. I was barely of legal age when I started smoking, so I’ve never experienced the Quest For Cigs that you describe, but the combination and distinction between the physical and ritualistic/habitual addiction resonates HARD. I’ve tried to quit a few times, but only in solidarity with someone I cared about quitting; never because I WANTED to. Even when I was getting my nicotine with patches or gum, I missed the ability to manage my social situation by either leaving to be alone and catch my metaphorical breath, or to have a more intimate conversation with the people I connected to.

So I haven't touched cigarettes in my 18 years of life, I always knew it was something hard to kick with my grandparents living with me through all of my life and being avid smokers, but this definitely gave a better perspective. Great vid. Glad to hear this kind of perspective

I’m very grateful that you released this video. You put a lot of thoughts I’ve had that I’ve only been courageous enough to put to paper or quietly internalize into spoken words in such a safe way. I, like you, do not know that I am ready to quit; but I hope we can make progress.

Hang in there Leadmeister. We're all rooting for you!!!!!

I love the videos of you just talking about your life. I find them so interesting.

When it comes to things like this (addictions, smoking and drinking) and I always think about how important one's upbringing is. My dad was a huge smoker and drinker early on in his life; since he expected to live up to his 50s, he never considered quitting. When he married my mum in his 60s, he developed diabetes and had to quit sweets and cigarettes, or else he'd get his legs amputated (poor blood flow, I believe.) My mother was very insistent on me never smoking and drinking responsibly from an early age (my big brother crashed his first car while drunk driving, totalling it [he's still alive, don't worry]). Sometimes when I went back home from school, my teammates would offer me a cig, I politely declined, and they'd understand, never pressuring me or calling me names for not joining in. In my 22 years alive, I've never smoked once (even if my mother occasionally does so around me,) and I'm trying to quit drinking as well. I haven't had alcohol for the last month or so, and I'm really proud of my progress. Again, one's upbringing can make the difference in how easy quitting bad habits can be.

Absolutely beautiful video, the fit, editing, cinematography, your whole aesthetic and the insight and venerability🦋🌻💕 My mom started smoking at around 11yo, she tried often to quit but relapsed a lot, but it’s the fact that she continued to try she was eventually able to. Funnily according to her, her main when she was about 45yo, and her reason as to why she was able to officially quit for good was oddly enough due to me, not as in her being pregnant or just having a kid (I’m the younger sibling), rather once my 5yo ass learned smoking was bad for you, I would just sob until every time I saw her smoking and it made her miserable, obviously, but that also ‘forced’ her brain to make such a negative mental connection to smoking. Anyway I think you’re quite admirable, and I wish only good things for you, and thankyou for another great video!

Great setup and video, I think this really works for you.

Sorry that first shot is such a vibe. Had to say. The Vertigo problem is one that my mom struggles with still, has for a long time. No idea what caused it, just that she gets them. Something about crystals in her ear canal? It's not entirely clear

My dad's been smoking longer than I've been alive. This video really has made me see how hard it is for him to stop, no matter the support I give him.

I had no idea u transitioned omg i was like “im i in the wrong chanel?” But then i saw the video where u explained it and im so proud of u

Hey. So I quit vaping (again) in December of 2021. It was incredibly tough at first, and I really questioned if it was worth it or not many times. A lot of my friends still vape so it’s a struggle to be around them and choose to not ask for a hit. But I know from experience that one single hit will have me back to having 5-10 disposables in my desk at all times and puffing on one all throughout the day into the night. There is no in between for me. One thing that helped me stop was thinking about an image of something that I really hated about vaping. One example was the feeling of being really hungry and hitting the vape constantly instead of eating to the point of feeling nauseous and dizzy. Worse yet, the nicotine would make me lose my appetite so I couldn’t even eat as much when I did eventually get to food. Now anytime I think about just taking a puff or two from a friends vape, I remember this imagine in my head and tell myself that I will go back to around the clock vaping if I even try it at all. I know everyone has their own struggles and path, but finding something I hated about vaping and using that image as motivation really helped me. Best of luck.

digging through ash trays for bits a tobacco is so classic. You hooked me with ur half life video. I thought this was gonna be a stupid rant at first but honestly loved this video. Good luck with whatever u decide on doing.

Amazing video as always. Pothead here. Always nice to know others share in this quietly panicked existence. It helps to know there’s others out there who grapple with thoughts of cancer and ruin so. I went out of town this past week and the break in routine highlighted for the 500th time how annoying the accommodations i have to make for a fucking drug really are. I love that you filled in after the credits. It’s never ever easy, and never feel bad at yourself because you’re having a hard time quitting. Keep trying. Keep being aggressive. It doesn’t matter if you falter, you’ll try again. Maybe sometime you’ll even manage to reduce the amount you use so the next attempt is even better. Maybe try starting small, like quitting exclusively in your car. I stopped my wake n bake and have managed to curb my smoking down from around 5-8 times a day to 1-3. Sometimes I break but you gotta just keep trying. Never just accept you’re gonna be this way, you can change, and you are strong enough to make it.

@sofos798

Жыл бұрын

pothead here too , good to see someone managed to curb his smoking down . im still struggling to quit , what helped you cut it down ?

@withertoneultraluxxx

Жыл бұрын

@@sofos798 *her But also mainly just filling up my time with hobbies and like I said, taking small but moderate steps with the goal of curbing it. The idea of quitting is very intimidating and often in itself is discouraging, but its actually pretty easy to find a way to cut it down by like limiting to a certain point in the day or doing a set amount of responsibilities. Getting an actual morning routine and trying at least a little bit to plan my days out and when I’m gonna smoke goes a long way.

@sofos798

Жыл бұрын

@@withertoneultraluxxx honestly the morning routine is the thing i struggle with the most , and it is something that affects the rest of my day too . I find myself not being able to sleep , weed was helping with that but i grew too dependent on it , not to mention self medicating was a bad idea in the first place . sorry for the wrong pronouns , i hope you are doing better , i know how hard it is to quit something like weed , or even just reduce the amount you smoke . Thanks for being open about this , it helps people like us be more comfortable with talking about it

I know you were worried about making videos like this, but these videos are amazing. Your points about romanticism for your own life is a good one, going from your art essays to you talking about your life feels like there is very little that shifts, you still make all those connections and point out any symbolism and themes, just like the art essays. You mentioned how it is hard to give up the ritual and image of smoking. There are herbal cigarettes like Honeyrose that don't have tobacco or nicotine, but that are still smoked like actual cigarettes. I've never smoked, so I don't know how they compare, but maybe that could be helpful to you. I've heard that they can help with those habits.

The best description I’ve come up with is that if your day to day life is a book then cigarettes are your commas and periods. You can’t just remove the punctuation marks from a book and call it good, you need to now re-write that book. In the same way quitting smoking seems to work when folks fundamentally change their daily routine as the routine was formed with smoking being an integral part of their day and its absence is noticed and incredibly triggering. I have not yet managed to do this myself but maybe someday.

Yet another fantastic piece of work, leadhead

good luck Lead, ive been smoking since i was 12, which looking back now was a decade ago. ive quit multiple times, sometimes for months at a time, but always go back. and i specifically mean cigarettes, quitting nicotine in general is a whole separate can of worms. the most recent time i picked it back up (a few weeks ago), i didnt start again because of how addicted i was. i picked up again because i genuinely wanted to, or at least i thought i did. for all i know that could just be another form of the addiction materializing. anyways, i truly understand how difficult it could be and i believe in you, and hope i can be in the same boat as you someday soon. good luck.

This video was very well done. Thank you for making this.

With an addiction of my own, a decade long porn addiction, and in recent times intertwined with taking weed to get as much dopamine I can get out of it. My conscience, that likes to romanticize scenarios of pleasure, really looked at itself in the mirror as of late. Why do I do this? Why do I imagine these things when I know it's just a ploy to open up the incognito tab once again. An awesome KZreadr psychiatrist (healthygamergg) talked about something called maladaptive daydreaming, and the moment he started discussing what I thought was just a regular part of my life. It called into question what I believe my mind should be doing for itself....Should I enable myself by producing these stories of grandeur? At this point. Screw the images my subconscious throws at me. I believe it's my time to move on.

@dream_killer-cc3vr

Жыл бұрын

Lmao. Porn addiction

@uronthefbiwatchlist341

Жыл бұрын

@@dream_killer-cc3vr lol. Shit you not. Shmeat smacking will get a guy down bad for real if it goes loose. But like I said, and even with leadhead's issue. Having an active imagination focused on romanticizing things (maladaptive daydreaming) will create enticing fantasies that makes doing the do, be it rubbing the pipe, or smoking it seem exciting for the time...But right after that boost of dopamine, the only hit you're getting is a dose of reality.

Great vid. Very raw and insightful. The way some people talk about cigarette addiction as if it's easy to quit or there's no meaningful emotional connection to it frustrates me. Addiction is addiction. It fucks with your head. It can be hard to sympathise with but if you can't sympathise with it then you don't understand it.

Never thought smoking could be looked at as beautiful always looked at it as scummy but I can see what you mean

the estrogen in question:

Great video. I truly appreciate the candidness.

Omg 1st vid I’ve seen in awhile. Was so confused haha nice to see you transitioned!

I'm about two days cigarette free so if it helps you, you can imagine we're doing this together. Just know someone out there feels your struggle, maybe it'll help. I think it'll help me

@samcharles1166

Жыл бұрын

Legend! keep at it bro, remember to stay hydrated, this internet stranger loves you :)

I also started in my teens, but managed to quit it thanks of a rather visceral realization: I used to kickbox, poured myself into it, one day going to the gym i come across a couple of friends, they offer me a cigar, which happens in a particular week where i just couldnt bother to buy it for whatever reason. Once i got to training my performance was abysmal, worse than when i started of, my body defnitely hated having smoke in the lungs while running, weaving, kicking and punchng nonstop. That explained to me exactally what that does to me, much better than any 10 hour long documentary would and it stuck. Now i need that same thing with coffee, which has been much harder for me to quit. Im trying to control the time of day that i manage to get job done and coffee defnitely gets in the way of that, also incentivises me to eat something shitty and out of time to acompany it(and theres a running theme in my family where we start of ultra skinny and then suddenly gets fat like that cop from breaking bad. and i defnitely do not want that) so there is a lot ab6out coffee i want gone from my life, il9l manage it anyday.

The stench of the cigarette. The sensation in my throat and nostrils when I smell it. The acidity in my stomach that follows. God, there are no words in this language or any other capable of expressing how much I hate cigarettes. Here's hoping the industry dies soon and that it's not replaced by cannabis or whatever other bullshit that may come.

Okay okay, outside of the subject matter from this video I have two things to say 1. You are really pretty 2. I hope you do more videos like this, I like seeing you, and these backgrounds are wonderful

You know your favorite KZreadr is making it when they yassify themselves in✨Bisexual Lighting✨ lmao

As someone who has this problem, first of all I really appreciate this video essay, you have got to be the best at these I've ever seen. Second of all, you hit the nail on the head for every reason I smoke, and third of all, you did an excellent job at something I thought was impossible. You managed to convince a smoker (me) that quitting IS for the best, without having to say "you know those things are bad for you, right?" which only reinforces that sense of teenage rebellion nostalgia.

@WaveWarrior98

Жыл бұрын

Also, the vertigo thing is very similar to something I've been dealing with for years.

havent made it 3 mins in and already this makes me want to get back on vocal training fr you have made such strides it’s great

Im not a smoker, but when i was a kid i was prescribed really heavy dosages of stimulants for adhd. I ended up quitting that too, but it left an impact on me, which combined with working in foodservice and construction lead me to a deep caffeine dependancy. At one point i was drinking 5-7 redbulls a day. Ive toned it down by now but its definitely hard to do without for more than a day without the headaches and fatigue. And the ritualistic side is just as bad, the morning coffe combined with the gas, monster, snack combo at every convenience store has made it hard to start or go about my day without wanting to stop at a circle k and buy a rockstar 4 times a day.

I'm not a smoker, doubt I got close to finishing a pack to this day. but lately I've been obsessed with these types of videos where smokers try to show us non smokers how it is to have this addiction. and this one clearly sticks out. The color choice, music, ambience, everything.

Trying to quit and not succeeding is very different than failure. Failure is when you give up and stop trying completely. There will be times when you just don't care and you accept your addiction for what it is, but eventually you'll try again and it's that trying that matters most. Keep doing what is best for you girl and take all the time you need, there will be ups and downs so don't be too hard on yourself. Thanks for the great video, and good luck.

This is literally the most relatable video I have ever seen. I started smoking after my engagement was broken. That feeling of nihilism and romanticism is exactly how I feel. I had never been able to put it into words. Thanks so much for making this video.

Great video Leadhead. So many points absolutely hit me like a bolt out of nowhere, relatable as all heck. So here's the thing. I'm currently both smoking and 'smoking' the other thing and I need to quit both, soon. Because. I have my GRS coming up soon, maybe! Which is super exciting, but I need to be totally clean of both of these things before then (not least because a stay of a week in hospital recovering *without* either of them is gonna suuuuck). So - FWIW, you have been my inspiration to try quitting. I was already needing to, but holding on to that "one more". I had a pack of cigs; I've just thrown away all but 1. I'm gonna go down the beach now, at night, and light up. For the vibe. And then - I'm gonna do my damndest to - if not promise to quit (because that's always impossible) at least stop /for now/, and until consult and surgery. If I can do that.... Who knows. So yeah, thank you for this video. Really hit home and was exactly what I needed right now. Peace and love to you all

I feel this vid, I started smoking before I transitioned and managed to quit it once, but soon feel back into it on one bad night. Getting over the withdraws is incredibly terrible, but even then, I found that now getting over an addiction isn't just getting past the withdraws. It's getting past your stupid brain from suggesting that smoking again would be a good idea or even thinking you could go for one even though you have no physical withdraws at all. I want to quit and I will, but yeah. I wish you all the luck!

These videos about your life is honestly what got me watching

I've been smoking cigarettes for about 6/7 years now and i tried quitting a lot of times, many times i did many different rituals like buying a pack for the last time, hiding them or writing "end" on one but it never works. Im going to try and quitting again but the thought of actually never smoking again seems unreal