Change Your Closet, Change Your Life | Gillian Dunn | TEDxWhiteRock

We live in abundance, but suffer from a scarcity mindset. This talk was born out of a candle melting in the closet before the chance of being lit, and sent Gillian on a journey of discovering why. This talk takes you through why we, as humans, stockpile stuff, the mindsets that drive this action, and why it is imperative that we change before it's too late. Gillian utilizes research, personal experience and stories from the Emergency Department to remind us that we must choose everyday what kind of life we want to live. Gillian Dunn works as a Registered Nurse in the Emergency Department. She loves the fast pace, interacting with people from all walks of life, and putting structure and organization into an environment that is often chaos. She often receives two responses
when she tells people she works in the Emergency “I could never do that!” and “Oh man, one time I was in emerg and...” She is very interested in a simple and intentional life. In the last year, she has really tried to simplify her life so that she has time for the things she enjoys and wants to focus on. This has left more room for learning, growing and challenging herself. She believes it’s the little things in life that turn out to be big in the end, and she is trying to focus on those little things. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 2 900

  • @PumpkinMozie
    @PumpkinMozie4 жыл бұрын

    "wear the dress you never have a reason to wear" is an awesome idea for a party theme

  • @kori8077

    @kori8077

    4 жыл бұрын

    You're so right!

  • @ziia_zoozoo5231

    @ziia_zoozoo5231

    4 жыл бұрын

    Ikr :-D

  • @lauralunaazul

    @lauralunaazul

    4 жыл бұрын

    😁😁😁😁 lol.

  • @annaturba

    @annaturba

    4 жыл бұрын

    I would wear my wedding dress 😁

  • @opalcourtney6437

    @opalcourtney6437

    4 жыл бұрын

    My mom and her friends used to have "all dressed up and no where to go" parties when they were in their early 20s in the 70s and the pictures are FABULOUS!

  • @BlackCoffeeee
    @BlackCoffeeee2 жыл бұрын

    Before my mother died, she was having a conversation about her life and regrets etc. She said with all sincerity that her biggest regret was not wearing her 'good clothes' every day. In the months before she died, she wore a chunky, glitzy rhinestone necklace every single day, that had previously sat 'in a safe place' in her drawer for almost 60 years. This small act made her last days so much happier.

  • @ilax4244

    @ilax4244

    Жыл бұрын

    Glad your Mother left you with this memory. After my Mom passed I found many gifts she felt were too precious to use. Wish she had put her self first.

  • @Hasnain1F

    @Hasnain1F

    Жыл бұрын

    Damn

  • @camanou1430

    @camanou1430

    Жыл бұрын

    🥺

  • @ladyfitness67

    @ladyfitness67

    Жыл бұрын

  • @reefa5345

    @reefa5345

    Жыл бұрын

    Same hppnd with my mom She only saved money for us. For our good future

  • @pamelap.123
    @pamelap.1232 жыл бұрын

    I had a friend who dined every night with his partner using the good china, the crystal, and candlelight. He died in an accident when he was 36. I am so glad he used "the best of everything" and did not save it for a special occasion

  • @emilythesongbird2306

    @emilythesongbird2306

    2 жыл бұрын

    Wow, this is a powerful reminder Pamela. So good he chose to live fully when he had the chance. Blessings.

  • @daranadine7711

    @daranadine7711

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this lesson!

  • @olharymarchuk3369
    @olharymarchuk3369 Жыл бұрын

    I live in Ukraine and now we have a brutal war in our homes for four month already. Being able to wake up in the morning is already a miracle and because every day could be the last one. So, when I have a chance to go out with my friends I wear my things I usually wear on vacation because there might be no tomorrow for me. And me alive wants to enjoy wearing pretty clothes. And that's good you don't have a war hitting you with harsh reality, but life goes on until it stops. And NOW and TODAY is the only moment we are alive. So use it with love to yourself and the world 💕

  • @DebbieCarraway-NCState

    @DebbieCarraway-NCState

    Жыл бұрын

    We are hoping for peace for you every day. Sending you love from Raleigh, North Carolina, USA.

  • @olharymarchuk3369

    @olharymarchuk3369

    Жыл бұрын

    @@DebbieCarraway-NCState thank you❤‍🩹

  • @abidafarid6030

    @abidafarid6030

    Жыл бұрын

    Heartfelt Prayers for peace for Ukraine and all oppressed. May you have peace in your heart, mind, family community and may the world be at peace.

  • @glendaoverstreet5144

    @glendaoverstreet5144

    Жыл бұрын

    Olha, my heart has been broken for Ukrainians' suffering during this terrible war. May God keep you safe and may the end of this devastating destruction and oppression be forthcoming. Many of us in the USA are praying for you and asking our government to send more and more assistance to your country to help end this war.

  • @angelajohnson4245

    @angelajohnson4245

    Жыл бұрын

    The hopes and desires of freedom from this terror go out to you Olha and all the people of Ukraine!!! No person with good sense would have ever taken these actions. Please know that SO many want this horror to end for you and all of the people in your country. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @dianereinert4552
    @dianereinert45524 жыл бұрын

    My mother-in-law taught me this concept 40 years ago. She said that beautiful things were meant to be admired, used and enjoyed. If you have to keep in put away to protect it, then you really don't need it. Get out that dress, use the good china and light the candle - celebrate today for the present that it really is.

  • @1Lightdancer

    @1Lightdancer

    4 жыл бұрын

    My daughter has both my mom's "good China" and a set from her husband's grandmother - both pulled it out for holiday meals, and so do we. It's always fun to see those pieces between times as well, when the "daily" dishes are in the dishwasher, and we need plates for dessert, "special" or not! That said, yep, I have stuff that's ready to be pulled out or passed on! 💖

  • @susieinthecountry4434

    @susieinthecountry4434

    4 жыл бұрын

    i just bought a new handbag faux leather and have yet to change handbags. do not know what is stopping me. the new one looks to new to use i guess. lol

  • @ebriggs3498

    @ebriggs3498

    4 жыл бұрын

    Irma Bombeck said the same thing in a hilarious column back in the 70s or 80s.

  • @dianereinert4552

    @dianereinert4552

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@ebriggs3498 She's one of my all-time heroes!

  • @ksc743

    @ksc743

    4 жыл бұрын

    So true!

  • @melinatrevino1250
    @melinatrevino12504 жыл бұрын

    I bought this overpriced candle because it smelled like my boyfriend who passed away. It is even his favorite color. It sat on my shelf for two years. A few days ago I took the wrapping off. I decided to light it for the first time yesterday. I came upon this video today. Thank you for the confirmation.

  • @elizabethfoward9027

    @elizabethfoward9027

    4 жыл бұрын

    @Melina Trevino, that is so beautiful. The speaker really focused on talking about the candle! A sign that your Love is watching over you. I pray that your heart is healing.

  • @immadolphin181

    @immadolphin181

    4 жыл бұрын

  • @peacei4920

    @peacei4920

    4 жыл бұрын

    💝💝💝

  • @ajohonly3721

    @ajohonly3721

    4 жыл бұрын

    💕💕🙏

  • @hazelhall9203

    @hazelhall9203

    4 жыл бұрын

    beautiful synchronicity

  • @exoticwallflower
    @exoticwallflower3 жыл бұрын

    This talk made me think of my 5 year old. She likes to wear/use her special stuff “because it makes me extra happy” (her words). I tend to keep my special stuff in my closet. I should be like her more.🤔

  • @sisterlove2733

    @sisterlove2733

    2 жыл бұрын

    From the “mouths of babes” as the Bible says Kids have more insight than we give them credit for

  • @aniapolaczek1470

    @aniapolaczek1470

    2 жыл бұрын

    Kids teach us so much! Let's listen to our inner child more often (and clap our hands too :-))

  • @dphnvllrb7379

    @dphnvllrb7379

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes you should hehe

  • @eminitemi4513

    @eminitemi4513

    2 жыл бұрын

    Learning this from my little girl too

  • @shirukk1234

    @shirukk1234

    2 жыл бұрын

    ditto with my kid. i have figured out i like pajamas d best.. :D

  • @MarinaAlbarracin
    @MarinaAlbarracin2 жыл бұрын

    My grandmother gave me 5 paintings and my grandfather argued that they were too expensive to give me to which she said, "I rather have these paintings hung in her room than in my attic rotting."

  • @acer4237

    @acer4237

    2 жыл бұрын

    I gave my sister an art piece that was expensive because it was not on my wall and knew she wanted it for a while.

  • @merrywalsh2809
    @merrywalsh28094 жыл бұрын

    My friend and I identified that sometimes we buy clothes for the life we wish we had, rather than the one we have 🤣

  • @theoldaccountthatiusedtous6767

    @theoldaccountthatiusedtous6767

    4 жыл бұрын

    I did that one time, instead of buying a t shirt I bought a shirt that I always felt good when I wore... but still didn't wear much, and I wish I'd worn it more. I donated it or lost it when I moved. The moral of this story is to go shopping when you're a little bit high (it's legal now here in Canada) and... ok maybe that's not a very good moral at all.

  • @lexaon1

    @lexaon1

    4 жыл бұрын

    So true....

  • @snehalparab8499

    @snehalparab8499

    3 жыл бұрын

    Actually, it hit hard.

  • @amylebeau2490

    @amylebeau2490

    3 жыл бұрын

    Shopping for my aspirational lifestyle 🤦‍♀️

  • @FutureCommentary1

    @FutureCommentary1

    3 жыл бұрын

    That's why I have clothes 4 sizes down. Sigh

  • @omsnaga
    @omsnaga4 жыл бұрын

    Thought she was a bit theatrical at first, didn't expect it to hit me this hard. She's right, my house has become a shrine for things that never will happen.

  • @lakshmiramakrishna9255

    @lakshmiramakrishna9255

    4 жыл бұрын

    ditto.

  • @svaught1

    @svaught1

    4 жыл бұрын

    I love the party idea!!! Great message.

  • @stridery

    @stridery

    4 жыл бұрын

    She's sending a great message and even though I personally don't like her way of speaking, you can tell she has a great talent for it. I think her whole talk was studied and rehearsed word by word.

  • @paulinewho5071

    @paulinewho5071

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@stridery was thinking of the same thing!

  • @yanzi8543

    @yanzi8543

    4 жыл бұрын

    Uh i thought very shortly it's too exagerated and then I thought it's so wonderful like somebody playing a role in Disneyland. Beautifully done and beautiful story. :)

  • @kissedbysun2517
    @kissedbysun25172 жыл бұрын

    When I was a little girl my mom read me a Dear Abby letter sent in by a widow. She had kept her china and crystal put up. She fussed at her husband to take off his shoes and not lean his hair against the unholstery lest he make a spot. She kept the house immaculate and her good things in perfect condition, saved for special guests. Her husband was killed and she realized that he was the most special guest of all. She wished she'd served his meals on pretty plates, let him put his feet on the couch and let him enjoy everything his hard work had provided. That stuck with me and I enjoy spoiling the people I love every day. The woman who wrote that letter is probably gone now but her message lives on

  • @HelloDecember525

    @HelloDecember525

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing. It was really touching and hopefully transformative of how I will be on my future. 💖🙏 Thank you and may you be blessed for it. Amen. 💖🙏

  • @ivonalatu4363

    @ivonalatu4363

    Жыл бұрын

    What a powerful story. Thank you for that reminder ...

  • @natalya5525
    @natalya55252 жыл бұрын

    That’s why I love the idea of minimalism so much. Don’t spend time and money on mediocre things. Choose the best, have little and enjoy using the best every day. I don’t have a lot. I just have what makes me happy

  • @MrRobotmaster101

    @MrRobotmaster101

    Жыл бұрын

    Way to go!

  • @conswaylolindsay

    @conswaylolindsay

    Жыл бұрын

    I applaud you!

  • @heidimeigs5192

    @heidimeigs5192

    Жыл бұрын

    I’m 65 now and am in the slow process of ridding myself of “things”. I want to reach the point where I only have things that I need/use or simply enjoy. I do burn my candles, I buy and use pretty disposable napkins, I no longer buy clothes/shoes/jewelry for a life I don’t even have. I am well on the way to not keeping things just because it was given to me by a friend or loved one. I can now get rid of those things so someone else can love them. I’ve finally truly accepted that my son does not want my stuff when I die…..he’s been telling me this for years 😅😅. With only the work I’ve done over the past few years, I feel more at ease and calmer. ✌️✌️☺️

  • @l3l3Cakes
    @l3l3Cakes4 жыл бұрын

    I bought a ton of clothes when I was with my ex so I could wear on date nights. He hated going anywhere other than to his parents house, and I never got to wear the clothes I bought. Needless to say, he’s gone, I take myself on dates, and I get to wear my clothes 😊

  • @sandramac60

    @sandramac60

    4 жыл бұрын

    Good for you! And I hope that you feel WONDERFUL wearing those clothes. You probably look fantastic in those outfits, because you most likely spent a lot of time poring over each piece, to make sure you would really shine (and I am sure that you do!) THAT is the reason we should buy clothes -- because we know we look and feel really good about ourselves and our choices.

  • @freedonx

    @freedonx

    4 жыл бұрын

    Fabulous!

  • @noornord1359

    @noornord1359

    4 жыл бұрын

    Good for you girl!

  • @smrk2452

    @smrk2452

    4 жыл бұрын

    We do this as women!! We buy for our fantasies and shop for our dreams.

  • @flyingcat2054

    @flyingcat2054

    4 жыл бұрын

    Alone? I never see woman going out alone.

  • @rebeccamoroz336
    @rebeccamoroz3364 жыл бұрын

    My Grandma always used the good china for any meal not at the kitchen table. "I'm not saving it for [my grandfather's] second wife," was her mantra.

  • @CatgirLinKC

    @CatgirLinKC

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Rebecca Moroz I love this story, and grandma's quote! Smart lady.

  • @andromedamaxima1543

    @andromedamaxima1543

    2 жыл бұрын

    ahah that’s so witty

  • @GoldieHoffmanComedian

    @GoldieHoffmanComedian

    2 жыл бұрын

    AHAHA, that's awesome.

  • @MJ-vf1im

    @MJ-vf1im

    2 жыл бұрын

    Love this!

  • @nisebiggs6572

    @nisebiggs6572

    2 жыл бұрын

    Excellent!

  • @iceeirony
    @iceeirony2 жыл бұрын

    “The reasons to stockpile stuff are based on two mindsets: I am not enough, and I don’t have enough.” That hit me hard for sure.

  • @rainwoodgrace6286
    @rainwoodgrace62862 жыл бұрын

    I am watching this for the third time and have to say it is perhaps the very best talk I have ever listened to. At 78 with a house full of stuff, I am finally wearing all those clothes and using all those things that were "too good". Thank you!

  • @mireiallamasbejar1345

    @mireiallamasbejar1345

    2 жыл бұрын

    Good for you! :)

  • @doreeb6314

    @doreeb6314

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes I used to tell my friends this but I have not been exercising it lately. I am going to now and just purge my house.

  • @mariacelestebustillobarraz3583

    @mariacelestebustillobarraz3583

    2 жыл бұрын

    Great! And you may also start getting rid of 80% of those things, giving them to people that need them and will gladly use them. And you'll feel so happy!

  • @Vikingshop

    @Vikingshop

    Жыл бұрын

    💝🙏

  • @GypsyGirl317

    @GypsyGirl317

    Жыл бұрын

    That's so beautiful. 💖

  • @ajohonly3721
    @ajohonly37214 жыл бұрын

    I just light my candles and now my two year old is singing happy birthday 🤣

  • @quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756

    @quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756

    4 жыл бұрын

    Aww that's so sweet it's a happy BIRTHDAY to something great in your lives,stay blessed 😍

  • @ajohonly3721

    @ajohonly3721

    4 жыл бұрын

    Quinette Adaobi yes 💕amen 🙏

  • @quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756

    @quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@ajohonly3721 🤗😘

  • @pamelamarshall3726

    @pamelamarshall3726

    4 жыл бұрын

    So cute!

  • @fabqatv5824

    @fabqatv5824

    4 жыл бұрын

    Ajoh Wong so cute

  • @FranciscaSilva-bm4md
    @FranciscaSilva-bm4md4 жыл бұрын

    I was wearing my best makeup and favorite earrings yesterday, after watching this vídeo. I’m a stay at home mother and I have nowhere to go, but when my husband arrived he said I looked beautiful and sure I did feel beautiful. :) thank you for this beautiful message.

  • @bellaperuana64

    @bellaperuana64

    3 жыл бұрын

    Oh!! So very nice 👍 your husband noticed how beautiful you are ♥️💕♥️

  • @gmoni2456

    @gmoni2456

    3 жыл бұрын

    Keep doing that! He will appreciate it and so will you!

  • @leanaaymorejacob1211

    @leanaaymorejacob1211

    2 жыл бұрын

    YAY, Francisca! 👏👏👏🌹😊

  • @GoldieHoffmanComedian

    @GoldieHoffmanComedian

    2 жыл бұрын

    aw, that's awesome! do it as often as you want! we used to 'play dressup' as kids without actually going anywhere outside, so why do we stop?

  • @lailaayan306

    @lailaayan306

    2 жыл бұрын

    Your comment has made me so happy 🧡 Thank you. Enjoy feeling good

  • @jessicajaffeweinberger1419
    @jessicajaffeweinberger14192 жыл бұрын

    I learned this the hard way when I had a terrible house fire and lost all the special china and glassware and things I had been saving. Now I go by the motto "Things are meant to be used." Every day is special, so use the special things everyday.

  • @aniapolaczek1470

    @aniapolaczek1470

    2 жыл бұрын

    So use your special day everyday :-)))

  • @Leahrloo

    @Leahrloo

    2 жыл бұрын

    Exactly! Another day is a great excuse to enjoy the day and the good things around us. Always!

  • @candykandy
    @candykandy3 жыл бұрын

    “The mindset that we are not enough keeps our clothes in the closet and the champagne in the bottle” - Dang, she hit my soul

  • @heidimeigs5192

    @heidimeigs5192

    Жыл бұрын

    I really haven’t felt like I wasn’t enough in myself…..I just really, really liked pretty stuff. And if one of something was good, that more was better! I declutter and lean toward a more minimalist lifestyle now to save my son from having to deal with decades of useless-to-him things.

  • @sallyreid151
    @sallyreid1514 жыл бұрын

    What this talk made me think about is less tangible things - like my talents and what I spend my time on. Why am I waiting to pursue a skill or hobby, or read all the books I have piled up? Why am I waiting to let myself shine through, to dance in front of people or be silly? I should live in abundance, do all of the things I want to do, and not waste my life not being myself- aka being someone else.

  • @HoNdUrAsxxAngel

    @HoNdUrAsxxAngel

    2 жыл бұрын

    So true ... Wanna do the same :)

  • @lydiaphang792

    @lydiaphang792

    2 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely!

  • @5cree

    @5cree

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Sally This is a far better interpretation of that talk than the talk itself. Completely agree. x

  • @emilythesongbird2306

    @emilythesongbird2306

    2 жыл бұрын

    What a beautiful response! Yes, we are here to pursue our deepest dreams, to explore, experiment and do what brings us joy! Be the unique divine spark of love you are.

  • @aniapolaczek1470

    @aniapolaczek1470

    2 жыл бұрын

    Rings my bell too!!

  • @kauigirl808
    @kauigirl8084 жыл бұрын

    Yup this is true. Gave away 90% of my stuff and my life couldn't be better. QUIT shopping. Best thing I ever did.

  • @paula9197

    @paula9197

    4 жыл бұрын

    Awesome!! 👏

  • @kauigirl808

    @kauigirl808

    4 жыл бұрын

    🥰🙏

  • @dhianaf

    @dhianaf

    4 жыл бұрын

    I gave out a lot too! Shopping just pieces I know I need for A REASON! Feels much better

  • @soniakabir7

    @soniakabir7

    4 жыл бұрын

    kauigirl808 it’s so liberating! ❤️

  • @kauigirl808

    @kauigirl808

    4 жыл бұрын

    I miss my days of living out of my suitcase. That was the most liberating lol.

  • @Nita90026
    @Nita900262 жыл бұрын

    Last year,my 7 yr. old granddaughter got a new Halloween custom three weeks early. She wore that custom everyday before Halloween and enjoyed every minute she did. She taught me a lesson, to celebrate each day to the fullest. Thank you for this wonderful message.

  • @eringrey9297

    @eringrey9297

    Жыл бұрын

    My kids too! They - in February this year - randomly decided to put on something special for our event. They appeared dressed as a dinosaur and Spider-Man. I shrugged my shoulders and said “let’s go!” 🤣

  • @abena7826
    @abena78263 жыл бұрын

    This is a powerful message with different meanings. Not letting your candle wax could even be not giving excuses for the unused talent or ability because you think you are not enough yet. Amazing! Thanks for this TED talk

  • @kstreet

    @kstreet

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yes, good point! I've met many people who keep their ideas/creativity/talent to themselves, as if they'll run out. But I feel confident in saying-as a lifelong artist who has made thousands of things and wants to make thousands more-no one ever runs out of creativity, talent or ideas. Exploring and enjoying your capabilities begets even more possibilities.

  • @giocondawooden5245

    @giocondawooden5245

    2 жыл бұрын

    Great talk, great nurse!

  • @Peace-tk3gr

    @Peace-tk3gr

    2 жыл бұрын

    ❤️

  • @meou_meou

    @meou_meou

    2 жыл бұрын

    That’s a beautiful thought

  • @chiu8159

    @chiu8159

    Жыл бұрын

    Just when I was thinking I couldn't really relate to this talk😅... Yeah, I've DEFINITELY been doing THAT thanks for making that connection!

  • @stephaniec8816
    @stephaniec88164 жыл бұрын

    My father passed away suddenly a week after mothers day. This video struck me in ways that I thought were healed up. Please, everyone. Don't waste your life.

  • @JanaINJax2

    @JanaINJax2

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Stephanie! :'(

  • @nadegearmour9378

    @nadegearmour9378

    4 жыл бұрын

    So very sorry for you.

  • @susannal27

    @susannal27

    4 жыл бұрын

    🙏

  • @thewideawakeclub4843

    @thewideawakeclub4843

    4 жыл бұрын

    So sorry for your loss. My Mother was stolen from us suddenly,by the big corrupt pharma. Don't take your loving parents for granted.

  • @randimichelle2810

    @randimichelle2810

    4 жыл бұрын

    I’m so very sorry for your loss.

  • @user-60267
    @user-602674 жыл бұрын

    "I have enough. I am enough". Great affirmation

  • @Thrivebeyond65

    @Thrivebeyond65

    4 жыл бұрын

    My bestie use to say, "I am enough, I have enough, I do enough"

  • @fabqatv5824

    @fabqatv5824

    4 жыл бұрын

    Usman Riaz true

  • @-nusechkin7786

    @-nusechkin7786

    3 жыл бұрын

    If you like this, you may want to check Brene Brown talks (she has books too). I was amazed by her speeches and her book "Daring Greatly"

  • @user-60267

    @user-60267

    3 жыл бұрын

    - nusechkin Thank you for the recommendation. It’s funny you mentioned it, I was actually about to buy her book one of these days.

  • @mostafazahid1710

    @mostafazahid1710

    3 жыл бұрын

    Uh, there's a clear problem with that saying..

  • @skooliecatwilderness6346
    @skooliecatwilderness63462 жыл бұрын

    A symbolic message, do not hide your life away while waiting for a better time.

  • @chrisl418
    @chrisl4182 жыл бұрын

    After 19 years in an abusive marriage things got so bad I had to leave. My ex insisted we sell the house, though I would be the custodial parent of our four wonderful children. He informed me he wanted certain things that were his and he came to the house during our absence and took them. When we returned, our son's furniture was gone, our queen size bed and dresser and mattress, oriental carpet, and china hutch were gone. My four children looked at me shocked and dismayed. "Where will I sleep?" my son asked. "Where will we sit?" This was the couch where I read to them every night. My son's room was the biggest shock. Gone was the single bed, dresser, side table and comfortable chair where I used to sit and sing to him at night. It was literally empty except the clothes in his closet. All the shelves in the house were gone. When a home inspector came to the house I had placed my china from my first marriage, which amounted to 5 sets of china and some water and wine goblets, a crystal bowl and vase, into an old cabinet my sister gave me. The inspector tried to move it away from the wall, for whatever reason and a leg came off, tumbling the china, vases, goblets, and bowls out. When I returned home after the inspection I found a full box of broken crystal in the middle of the room. I've never been a things person, but now I realize that these things we receive, live with, secret away, use, don't use all hold memories. When we lose these things we feel keenly the loss of something intangible. Usually we feel regret that we didn't live life more fully while we could. We watched through the window, we let them watch TV while we cooked and cleaned up. We rested while they played. They are 18 and up now. I raised them alone from the time my youngest was 7. I quickly wrestled up a bed for my son. The cabinet that held miscellaneous dining room stuff, seasonal stuff and candles was promptly emptied and became my son's dresser. I've been so lucky to have the kids. I have so few valuable things. We have been in poverty since the divorce. But I have felt very very grateful that my children love me. Remember it's not just stuff that we say we will attend to later, or spend time with later...I have always told my children, "People first not things." They are close to each other, my three daughters and one son. While they appreciate they have grown up mostly without, they knew I did my best to provide. When I get a hug or a kiss on the cheek I tell them, "That's the good stuff." or, "That's the best thing to happen to me all day!" Remember, don't let the candle melt, but even more always say "I love you." and don't forget the hugs.

  • @HelloDecember525

    @HelloDecember525

    Жыл бұрын

    💖🙏💖🌅🌅

  • @monicacollins8289

    @monicacollins8289

    Жыл бұрын

    Your husband "gained" a lot of "stuff" to be spiteful, but he lost the respect of his family. Furniture can be replaced, but his reputation and dishonor are permanently diminished. You win.

  • @kennatouye3644

    @kennatouye3644

    Жыл бұрын

    What a beautiful. message

  • @MrRobotmaster101

    @MrRobotmaster101

    Жыл бұрын

    Enjoy reading your story, thanks for sharing. You are a very strong human being.

  • @minidini4000

    @minidini4000

    Жыл бұрын

    @@HelloDecember525 Thank you for sharing. Your mindset on life is very inspiring, especially the one "People first, not things" sounds wonderful in a world where things are often treated as more important than the open, warm and loving person they could have been instead. Loving and deep relationships with mutual trust is one of the most precious things you can achieve in life. I wish you and your children a wonderful life with much strength for all the difficulties life brings along with again and again. All the best, a stranger from the internet :)

  • @BurlierBard
    @BurlierBard4 жыл бұрын

    Welp I started watching random ted talks and now im putting on the dress I wore for my brothers wedding to clean the house 😂😂😂

  • @meridalucy6823

    @meridalucy6823

    2 жыл бұрын

    Because why not right? 🤣🤣

  • @KumariKumari-fw7nc

    @KumariKumari-fw7nc

    2 жыл бұрын

    You do have a great sense of humor 😁

  • @aniapolaczek1470

    @aniapolaczek1470

    2 жыл бұрын

    You need to create the special event too haha

  • @BellaandTB

    @BellaandTB

    2 жыл бұрын

    😂👍✨

  • @prernamore9022

    @prernamore9022

    2 жыл бұрын

    Hahahaa.... that's the spirit.... 😂

  • @kjwalt6
    @kjwalt64 жыл бұрын

    I always set the table and use "the good stuff". My mother's home was bombed in WW2 and she has used all the good things ever since.

  • @weip9328

    @weip9328

    4 жыл бұрын

    The first time I think a bomb can do good things too, though rarely. 😜

  • @HelloDecember525

    @HelloDecember525

    Жыл бұрын

    Wow thank you for sharing. What a life lesson. Thank you, it really hit me! 💖💖

  • @mercyprinzess
    @mercyprinzess3 жыл бұрын

    "When you put excuses on hold the other side of that is Joy." HOW TRUE!

  • @anitawebster9450
    @anitawebster9450 Жыл бұрын

    I watched this one before, and between that day & today I have sold my house, my car, and given away all of my THINGS except enough that fit into 2 large suitcases and moved to a different country across the ocean, married the Love of my Life, and am determined to lii Live here & Be Happy and FREE! 💙💛💞

  • @Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle
    @Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle4 жыл бұрын

    When my mother died, clearing out her closet she had tons of clothes with tags on. Saving them for a special occasion. That occasion never came. I swore from that day I would wear all my best jewelery, watches that I'd usually keep for a special night out. I also use all my candles, and get rid of anything that doesn't light me up.... Haven't mastered the notebooks yet tho, 🎊🎊🎊😊

  • @jacquiet6040

    @jacquiet6040

    2 жыл бұрын

    Oh yes! The endless paper trail!

  • @kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086

    @kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086

    2 жыл бұрын

    The notebooks are the most difficult ones I'm telling ya. So I figured, the best way to tackle this to not buy pretty notebooks.

  • @nbanu2296

    @nbanu2296

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same here. I was in tears when I was cleaning her stuff after she left. There were many things unused. .sad

  • @faabihakhan

    @faabihakhan

    2 жыл бұрын

    Use those notebooks, consume them and make the best use of it 😊 I am also learning this.

  • @evereign9385

    @evereign9385

    2 жыл бұрын

    It's that notebook thing man!!!!🤦🏻‍♀️😬

  • @TomThacker
    @TomThacker4 жыл бұрын

    When late Erma Bombeck knew her cancer was terminal, she wrote a list of regrets. One of them was "I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage." Thanks for reminding me, it's great advice

  • @Leahrloo

    @Leahrloo

    2 жыл бұрын

    Such good advice!

  • @bootscatsbootscatsboots

    @bootscatsbootscatsboots

    2 жыл бұрын

    I didn’t know Erma Bombeck had passed from cancer. I wager she was still a beacon of humorous hope even in the end.

  • @blacksheep6365

    @blacksheep6365

    2 жыл бұрын

    I actually have a pink candle sculpted like a rose, and avoided lighting it for many years. It became very dusty sitting on the shelf just being pretty and when I finally did light it the decades of dust burned and smelled terrible.

  • @mhharley

    @mhharley

    2 жыл бұрын

    I thought about her right before I scrolled to your comment.

  • @lauramitchell6725

    @lauramitchell6725

    Жыл бұрын

    At that point in her life ,she also said,” I don’t buy brown bananas.”

  • @lndylu2002
    @lndylu20022 жыл бұрын

    When my Grandmother passed, we found several items in her closet with tags on them. Things she was saving for "good". After that, I utilize all the things I think are special because each day I am alive is special.

  • @tazg349
    @tazg349 Жыл бұрын

    I am a retired CERN after working in a busy trauma ER in the southside of Chicago for decades. We dealt with life and death issues every single day. So this speech coming from a fellow ER RN is absolute wisdom loaded. She has all the credibility to make this topic front and center on TED. Have you watched an injured young child dying in front of you from domestic abuse despite all your efforts to save him/her? That thought can rearrange your priorities to the basics of living life today as if its your last day without the frills reserved for tomorrow.

  • @andrearae264

    @andrearae264

    Жыл бұрын

    There should be more likes for this comment, and for the video.

  • @raspberry_dreams

    @raspberry_dreams

    Жыл бұрын

    🥺deep… I can’t imagine how it’s impacted your psyche to experience that. rip to that precious young child and I hope you find peace. Thank you for sharing.

  • @GypsyGirl317

    @GypsyGirl317

    Жыл бұрын

    I have been a paediatric nurse, and yes, I have held an 8 year old boy in my arms as he died from cancer. 😪 I have held babies in my arms and poured love on them who were dying, and unable to be cared for by their parents 😪 I have nursed many people dying too young of various causes. 💖 I have also seen many triumphs! 😊 I am now a stage 4 cancer survivor, and every day is a gift. I love using my best things! 🥰

  • @carolgeorge6409

    @carolgeorge6409

    Жыл бұрын

    ❤️

  • @heidimeigs5192

    @heidimeigs5192

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your care and work all those years. Not every person can or should be a nurse. You made a difference in a lot of lives. ♥️

  • @sarahlevine2397
    @sarahlevine23974 жыл бұрын

    Too afraid to paint because my empty canvases and tubes of paint have so much potential, it’s almost better to keep them wrapped up and stored away in a closet. But every once in a while when i have the random days where I follow the urge to take them out and paint, I love it so much and think “why don’t I do this more often?”

  • @cecilyerker

    @cecilyerker

    4 жыл бұрын

    Sarah Levine I’m an artist and my grandmother gave me tubes of old oil paint that I use whenever I make paintings as a way to honor her memory. If you don’t want to use them you can sell them or donate them. If you can’t bear to part with them, just do your best and make a painting that you’re proud of because you tried.

  • @sarahlevine2397

    @sarahlevine2397

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@cecilyerker Excited to let you know that I recently just picked up my paint again and impressed myself with an image of my boyfriend's dog on a snowy hike. Just gotta keep painting :)

  • @saram2533

    @saram2533

    3 жыл бұрын

    Somebody once told me... “we don’t relax when we’re paint, we paint when we’re relaxed.” :)

  • @limmingming4022

    @limmingming4022

    3 жыл бұрын

    OMG ! I TOO wh the Canves n the colours

  • @willm59

    @willm59

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@saram2533 That is amazing. I wondered where my inspiration to paint was, i buy hobby supplies but never make time for the hobby. This is "my" melting candle.. and I always have an excuse of other things I need to do so this Ted talk made me think I need to just do it but painting has to come from within and I just don't have the urge... because I am not relaxed at this point in life. I need to change current life to enable relaxation to be able to sit down and pant. If I dont make the change it will not happen on its own. Thanks for that comment.

  • @childoflight3388
    @childoflight33884 жыл бұрын

    This made me feel emotional...my husband passed away the beginning of 2019 at 28. Life is too short to wait to dress up or do something you've always wanted to do. I'm 31 and this is the greatest lesson I have ever learned.

  • @deborahsauter9794

    @deborahsauter9794

    2 жыл бұрын

    Child Of Light -- What a beautiful response. It brought tears to my eyes. Bless you.

  • @ananse77

    @ananse77

    2 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry. Blessings to you .

  • @syzygy4365

    @syzygy4365

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sorry for your loss dear. I pray your hearts healed a little since you wrote this.

  • @LiveFit4eternity

    @LiveFit4eternity

    2 жыл бұрын

    Praying for you during this difficult season 🙏🏼

  • @patriciacuan3707

    @patriciacuan3707

    2 жыл бұрын

    Sorry for your loss, but you still very young...move forward...life keeps going... don't let the candle melt in your closet. My best wishes!! Child of God

  • @doctordonnanoble
    @doctordonnanoble2 жыл бұрын

    This was so refreshing, I really appreciate watching everyday people reflecting on their mindsets rather than KZreadrs / self-help gurus doing these talks. Nothing to sell, just pure insight from the perspective of someone that is relatable. She did a great job.

  • @GypsyGirl317

    @GypsyGirl317

    Жыл бұрын

    Yes! This! 😊 💖 🙆🏻‍♀️ 🌿 👍🏾 Excellent observation and I agree.

  • @og6920
    @og69203 жыл бұрын

    I re-watch this every so often. All year (2020) I purged my home. Every cabinet, closet, drawer, etc. Sold all the clothes I don't need/wear even if I loved them and yes, it was hard to let certain things go. I feel happier and lighter and funny enough, now that I have half my wardrobe, I feel like I have MORE to wear. This all feels good!

  • @Neonravekid
    @Neonravekid4 жыл бұрын

    My mom told me once about a story she had heard about how there was a woman who had a dress for a special occasion. She had it for years and never wore it. Then she only ended up wearing it once. At her funeral. That struck me so deeply I still remember it to this day. I'm not sure where she heard it from but the message is still clear. Enjoy what you have when you have it, because you never know when it will be gone or you won't be around to enjoy it.

  • @MilouAT

    @MilouAT

    Жыл бұрын

    This hits me deeply. Thank you so much for sharing!

  • @Neonravekid

    @Neonravekid

    Жыл бұрын

    @@MilouAT hope it inspires you 🥰

  • @sparkdorable

    @sparkdorable

    Жыл бұрын

    My mom told me too. A woman save her money very tightly..she never dressed up or had treat herself well. And... The money goes to second wife ..because she passed away too soon. We never know when our time is up. So enjoy and be the best

  • @Neonravekid

    @Neonravekid

    Жыл бұрын

    @@sparkdorable yep exactly! Enjoy things while you can. ✨️

  • @dianebalch5369
    @dianebalch53694 жыл бұрын

    Today I gave away the "unworn dresses." Someone else can use them and they no longer match my lifestyle. Feels so good!!

  • @ialibugirl

    @ialibugirl

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'll be doing that!

  • @mioangel1227

    @mioangel1227

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@ialibugirl I must do that too!

  • @disturbed1013

    @disturbed1013

    4 жыл бұрын

    Did that! There's suddenly so much space!

  • @miaridi6699

    @miaridi6699

    4 жыл бұрын

    Diane Balch that’s awesome 👏 you never know who might enjoy them.

  • @devicetablet9305

    @devicetablet9305

    4 жыл бұрын

    I did that.. still do. And I always get news ones as a gift.. sorry mostly :) its about making space to welcome more.

  • @jail.6000
    @jail.60002 жыл бұрын

    I found a vintage bag recently and said I would only carry it when it was a special occasion, until my friend said to take it when I shop for groceries. I haven’t put it down since! I love this.

  • @lizziebkennedy7505

    @lizziebkennedy7505

    Жыл бұрын

    That’s just awesome. That’s how it is meant to be.

  • @ronwenthapelo3818
    @ronwenthapelo38182 жыл бұрын

    successful people don't become that way overnight.most people you see as a glance-wealth, a great career, purpose-is the result of hard work and hustle over time. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life..

  • @eseieanas2475

    @eseieanas2475

    2 жыл бұрын

    I urge everyone to start somewhere now no matter how small, this is literally the time for that, forget material things, don't get tempted,i became more better the moment i realized this.

  • @aliciabennett9216

    @aliciabennett9216

    2 жыл бұрын

    you're right, but any Investment without a proper guidance and experience is suicidal

  • @nancydis4050

    @nancydis4050

    2 жыл бұрын

    Profitable Investment one can do convenantly at this moment are

  • @nancydis4050

    @nancydis4050

    2 жыл бұрын

    : Estate : Share : Stocks market

  • @Soboj-oy8me

    @Soboj-oy8me

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Funmi Tejeey you're right Forex trading is surely a lucrative way to invest whether you want growth, leverage, stable income or something in between.

  • @miramorel
    @miramorel4 жыл бұрын

    I love this talk and the comments. I love how some people find joy in wearing their comfortable, casual clothes and they are inspired to get rid of their nice clothes because they just never feel comfortable in them. I love how other people are inspired to wear their nice clothes more often because it's what makes them feel like themselves. We are all unique and we should celebrate that with the items that we buy and surround ourselves with!

  • @FruityUnicorn17

    @FruityUnicorn17

    4 жыл бұрын

    Mira Cordell yes! You said it well!

  • @waynestaats9072

    @waynestaats9072

    4 жыл бұрын

    And that's one reason why people don't wear 80 percent of their wardrobe. It doesn't feel good. Pay more attention to fabric content. Close your eyes when you try something on. Does it FEEL good?

  • @lisagale8992

    @lisagale8992

    4 жыл бұрын

    exactly,me too.There's room for everybody's way.

  • @ghostsheet777

    @ghostsheet777

    4 жыл бұрын

    Thank u for this comment. I'm the type who enjoys wearing out there, luxury clothes and I've been trying to enforce this on my mother. Keep telling her that if she dresses beautifully she will feel beautiful, but alas she likes dressing casual and I only now realize this so thank u!

  • @AliceDamnation

    @AliceDamnation

    4 жыл бұрын

    I thought this would go more towards "stop buying stuff you don't feel comfortable with and that you never wear!", But I also enjoy the message "Just wear them!". Only by doing that you have the chance of becoming that person you once dreamed you could be. Or maybe you discover you're already a good enough person and that's not the dream you should be focusing on, and you through that stuff away!

  • @adrianaalfaro9254
    @adrianaalfaro92544 жыл бұрын

    My mom wears all her nice things all the time . She dresses up whenever she goes out, even to go to the grocery store or just to have dinner at our house.

  • @fleurdavril1465

    @fleurdavril1465

    2 жыл бұрын

    Your mom is either french or italian😂

  • @suancarey809

    @suancarey809

    2 жыл бұрын

    @@fleurdavril1465 my mother did the same. Not French or Italian, but old school. Teachers talked about her and thought she was an heiress living a slum-like life due to being in love with my "workman" father. She really only had 3 outfits but wore them with confidence, which is free.

  • @carolynjaynes36
    @carolynjaynes36 Жыл бұрын

    I full time in my RV and I love the simple, minimalist life. You have inspired me to wear my designer dresses to the grocery store.

  • @flairy1661

    @flairy1661

    Жыл бұрын

    yes! go for it! i'm sure they'll look lovelier on you than on a hanger :)

  • @robbiePlanetaSano
    @robbiePlanetaSano2 жыл бұрын

    I live in a hut with a solar panel and a rain capture water tank . In the middle of primary rainforest . I have one drawer for my clothes and half of it is for bedding. I could live in a mansion and have a fancy car and an expensive watch. Just more stuff to maintain, pay taxes on, worry about and fill space in my life. I am 66. I have been learning these lessons fir a long time . I am living my dream right now. I teach sustainable living . Not everyone will choose to live like me, nor a problem. I just want people to see how small changes add up to a huge change in the quality of our lives. Great message ! Thank you ❤️

  • @user-60267
    @user-602674 жыл бұрын

    "When you put excuses on hold, the other side of that is joy, confidence and freedom."

  • @someonesomeone25

    @someonesomeone25

    3 жыл бұрын

    I wish that were true for me. Maybe one day.

  • @user-se7lw6ew7r

    @user-se7lw6ew7r

    3 жыл бұрын

    Realness

  • @rocsiali4092
    @rocsiali40924 жыл бұрын

    I've also had this "wait for better times" mentality with my body. For example, "I'll use my good skincare once I lose enough weight". "I'll stop tobacco/nicotine when my physical disabilities become cured". "I'll start back up on my art when my whole house is perfectly organized". I've been holding myself back. I don't deserve less now just because I'm not "where I want to be in life". These things I hold back on, if anything, won't be wasted but instead, at least somewhat enjoyed in the present, and in a way, help me on my path to other changes I'm striving towards.

  • @valeriaponce9768

    @valeriaponce9768

    2 жыл бұрын

    you understood everything

  • @blackcatcoffeeshop9566

    @blackcatcoffeeshop9566

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yas, girl! Let's do this! 🤗

  • @sisterlove2733

    @sisterlove2733

    2 жыл бұрын

    Ugh I can totally relate... you must be a perfectionist procrastinator like me🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086

    @kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086

    2 жыл бұрын

    You will not get to where you want to be in your life if you don't start today.

  • @mariac6751

    @mariac6751

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you 😊 I needed this

  • @frostsavannahcat7633
    @frostsavannahcat76332 жыл бұрын

    Just watched a video about minimalism, this makes me know how to start, get rid of everything except for the 'too nice items' and BOOM you are the person you thought you didn't deserve to be.

  • @jennagordon4556
    @jennagordon45562 жыл бұрын

    She is very good at telling stories. I admire her. She is completely right. You do NOT need to buy more, you just need to deal with what you have :)

  • @imaginativegirl126
    @imaginativegirl1264 жыл бұрын

    She has a very developed and distinct articulation style as if she's been speaking for a long time. Glad she didn't keep it in the closet and conveyed a powerful message.

  • @SueMoseley
    @SueMoseley4 жыл бұрын

    Years ago my mother visited an auntie of hers and was alarmed that she was living in a cold house and her sweaters were like rags. She bought her a beautiful, thick wool sweater to keep her warm. When she went back on another visit she found her still dressed in rags and the sweater she'd bought carefully wrapped and stored in a drawer. She asked why her auntie wasn't wearing the sweater she bought for her and she replied 'Oh it's far too beautiful to wear every day. I'm saving it for a special occasion'. After her aunties death, my mum found the sweater, still wrapped in the drawer. It had never been worn.

  • @wallihaley5194

    @wallihaley5194

    3 жыл бұрын

    Sue Moseley, that is a very sad story.

  • @nydianunez2690

    @nydianunez2690

    2 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story, Sue. I recently was told a story from a personal stylist. She said we have to buy our clothes not thinking of special occasions. She shared she knew someone, like a friend of a friend if hers, who would always be nicely dressed. When she was asked, she said she would wear her clothes because “What if I die tomorrow?” Thing is she did pass away young :(

  • @KumariKumari-fw7nc

    @KumariKumari-fw7nc

    2 жыл бұрын

    How pathetic...

  • @deborahr3732

    @deborahr3732

    2 жыл бұрын

    😢💔

  • @sherrieabraham6885

    @sherrieabraham6885

    2 жыл бұрын

    Same here. I bought my elderly precious Auntie a beautifully embroidered bed jacket. She was ill and was spending her last days at home. After she passed my cousin gave me the bed jacket with the tags on.

  • @comedypets214
    @comedypets214 Жыл бұрын

    It was me 10 years ago, postponing Life till a car accident I barely survived. After that went to 30 countries and lived my best Life. Great talk.

  • @tianahill4528
    @tianahill45282 жыл бұрын

    They say third times a charm, I have pass my step 1 finally🎉🎉 for all my repeat test takers don't give up and don't be discouraged.

  • @nancydonna3895

    @nancydonna3895

    2 жыл бұрын

    You will pass Every one has their own season,just keep going pray and believe you will receive

  • @sarahmatt1176

    @sarahmatt1176

    2 жыл бұрын

    @Clifton Willard I'm sorry about your plight my friend but i was once in your shoes before i was recommended to Mrs Catherina Moore and that's how i passed My USMLE Steps exam

  • @marykings2894

    @marykings2894

    2 жыл бұрын

    I only studied a lot when i went for the first time last year but the second time was so easy, all thanks to my aunt who introduced me to Mrs Catherina Moore am really grateful

  • @southerngabito3311

    @southerngabito3311

    2 жыл бұрын

    Wow. I was only thinking I’m the only one she help pass nclex too.I really Don’t know how she work this out but Mrs Catherina is obviously the best, i studied her questions and answers just in 5 days and I passed, the materials she provided was exactly the questions I saw on my test day. Thanks to my friend who recommended me to her because she pass through her on her first attempt.

  • @lorientheresa4844

    @lorientheresa4844

    2 жыл бұрын

    I have sat for USMLE Step 1 Exam for the 4th time now and still failed, i guess licence isn't meant for people like me😭😓😭😭

  • @j.h.moncrieffauthor
    @j.h.moncrieffauthor4 жыл бұрын

    I love all the positive comments on this video--it's such a change from what one normally finds on KZread! My grandfather was always of the same mindset. He believed every day was a special occasion, and so I inherited a collection of chipped crystal and tarnished silver, but I didn't mind. I saw some gorgeous earrings while on a trip to Greece, but they were too expensive. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about them, even when my tour moved on, and actually found a way to go back to that island and get them. But I have I worn them? No. They're "too nice" for every day. That stops now. (One of the things I teach is public speaking, and Gillian was perfect. No fillers, no looking down or at the ceiling, no hesitation, using pauses for impact, no distracting gestures or movements. One of the reasons it seems unnatural is it's flawless, and very few people can pull that off.)

  • @bannergirl1

    @bannergirl1

    4 жыл бұрын

    I wondered how she could remember what she had to say.

  • @MaybeM00dy
    @MaybeM00dy4 жыл бұрын

    People I’m wearing the dress on a normal Thursday and it was really cool because I have been wanting to do this for 5 years

  • @vanitabara6452

    @vanitabara6452

    4 жыл бұрын

    Congratulations dear !

  • @inferno8115

    @inferno8115

    4 жыл бұрын

    Laureen Dudink very proud💜

  • @SuperNatalie234

    @SuperNatalie234

    4 жыл бұрын

    That's awesome

  • @natalliak4914

    @natalliak4914

    4 жыл бұрын

    Cool. Wanna it too

  • @sandrapicton6349
    @sandrapicton63492 жыл бұрын

    After listening to your delightful talk I went immediately to the display cabinet and took out my late mother-in-law's beautiful Bristol green sherry glasses and for the first time poured myself a glass of sherry in one, not into one of the usual charity shop ones. It not only looks beautiful but the rim is smooth in a way that feels soft. It has made me so happy!

  • @EC-xc9gy
    @EC-xc9gy Жыл бұрын

    I realized something. I watched this 2 years ago and started using my good wedding china. It was delightful, and it felt so special, and we've done it regularly. I just watched this again... I *hate* using my wedding china! It's bulky, it's hard to clean, and deciding when an event is "special enough" leaves me with stress and doubts. I love my everyday china. I can dress it up and down, it's beautiful, it's durable, and I'm at ease with it. ...Like myself. *I* don't need to set out a different version of *me* for special occasions. I'm getting rid of that baggage. Thank you.

  • @joan-sayahdixon4216
    @joan-sayahdixon42164 жыл бұрын

    I was about to give up listening because it started off slow, but I’ve been practicing to be more patient and today it paid off.

  • @freya5902

    @freya5902

    4 жыл бұрын

    Patience is such a good thing to teach yourself

  • @clo6476

    @clo6476

    4 жыл бұрын

    just a suggestion: increase the playback speed for any speech focused video u find slow and if you're a fast English reader, switch on the captions... and you'll be done in half the time

  • @g.guevara6075

    @g.guevara6075

    4 жыл бұрын

    I was listening to this as I looked for parking at work, I found a parking spot by the time it almost ended, then I looked at the car parked in front of me and the plates are YLO 47, I work at a high school and teens are very creative, perhaps that spells YOLO 4Ever and rubbed out of space? I don't know, but I will take this as a sign!

  • @opalfishsparklequasar8663
    @opalfishsparklequasar86634 жыл бұрын

    My aunt married someone who was sick all his life. It was a society wedding, and was featured prominently in an international paper. They were in their early twenties, and were married a little over a year, when he died at 24, a couple days before his only child was born. She used the fine crystal and china every day, and she said she was never as happy as she was that brief time. I saw a similar thing on Oprah, where she asked Luther Vandross for a drink of water, and he gave it to her in a crystal glass, saying it was meant to be used. She later did a show, where audience brought their "saving it" things. It was hilarious and universal, polyester yellow daisy comforters from the sixties, still wrapped, etc. Final story- I had a friend from another country, who came from a wealthy family. I went to school with her, and later we became roomates. The first time I saw her, in class, she was wearing a 1950's necklace, a literal BIB of one carat diamonds. I said, "Oh my GOD! Those DIAMONDS!!" She said, "Shut UP! Everyone thinks they're fake! I don't want to get KILLED!! Everyone makes FUN of them for being so TACKY!!" And sure enough, she was right. She wore it, and other pieces, all the time, on the bus, bicycling in the middle of the night, and people DID make fun of these nonpareil treasures.

  • @jordanxfile

    @jordanxfile

    4 жыл бұрын

    Such interesting stories; thank you for sharing :)

  • @ebriggs3498

    @ebriggs3498

    4 жыл бұрын

    I have 2 sisters who do something similar; they were real gems mixed in with some FABULOUS faux and no one can tell the difference!

  • @Schrauberella

    @Schrauberella

    4 жыл бұрын

    Funnily enough, you could own a designer handbag nowadays and everyone would insist it's fake 🤣

  • @lynnmking3008

    @lynnmking3008

    4 жыл бұрын

    Such interesting stories. TFS!

  • @fabqatv5824

    @fabqatv5824

    4 жыл бұрын

    opalfish sparklequasar thanks for sharing! Interesting stories!

  • @kathy582
    @kathy5822 жыл бұрын

    It's crazy how true this was for me!!! Today I wore a cute outfit and necklace to work that I'd been saving for when I go out with friends...I felt more cool, confident and I even made a new friend! Definitely applying this in my life

  • @JoyceLuna
    @JoyceLuna2 жыл бұрын

    This talk is timeless. I am glad to be reminded to enjoy the present and stop waiting for that big moment.

  • @sharonjessen3585
    @sharonjessen35854 жыл бұрын

    My mother taught me to "save the good stuff for special occasions". One day about a year ago I decided to heck with that. I have a necklace that I had made from my mother's wedding ring when I got married and I hardly ever wore it. It was just sitting in my jewelry box. I decided to take it out and now I wear it every day and I love seeing it on my neck. It reminds me of my mother and it is so beautiful. It makes me feel good. Excellent talk Gillian Dunn. Well done! . ❤️

  • @evazigon5288
    @evazigon52884 жыл бұрын

    Yes. That's why, ever since my near-death experience, my motto is now "I have all that I need."

  • @meyersonfire

    @meyersonfire

    4 жыл бұрын

    you should do a vid of it and post a link!

  • @Zoe-dr5ps

    @Zoe-dr5ps

    3 жыл бұрын

    What happened?

  • @Luubelaar
    @Luubelaar2 жыл бұрын

    My mother-in-law had a beautiful green velvet dress that she loved, but hardly ever wore. One day, her daughter visited and saw the dress in the "donation" pile, resulting from my mother-in-law's "clearing out the wardrobe" efforts. "You're not giving away the dress, are you?" "Yes. I don't wear it. I mean, where would I wear it?" "Pfft. You wear it shopping, mother!" My sister-in-law has always been unashamedly herself. If you don't like what she's wearing, that's your problem, not hers. This was all the encouragement needed. My mother-in-law wore that dress til it was unfit to be in public, then she wore it as a "house dress" until it fell apart. And now any time I'm deciding what to wear, I think of "you wear it shopping, mother!" and I wear what I want. (Practical considerations, of course. Can't really wear the ball gown when you're going hiking, and so on) Another thing I found was that I had "nothing to wear" a lot, despite having a wardrobe full of clothes. Then I found Marie Kondo and worked out that it wasn't that I didn't have anything, or too much (though I kinda did), but that I had nothing that I felt like me in. I had a wardrobe full of clothes that other people liked. So I culled. Savagely. And now I struggle much less when putting together an outfit. My wardrobe is all "me" clothes now.

  • @SafeSpacewithSierra
    @SafeSpacewithSierra Жыл бұрын

    I SO agree with this. I used to save my favorite pieces of clothing for special occasions, so they would hardly get worn. Meanwhile, the clothes i don’t care about, i would wear every day. One day i was like, this makes no sense, so i started dressing up more, and wearing things more often that i would usually save because they’re nice. I have this weird thing about not liking to be way more dressed up than others around me. But i don’t know where that comes from. I should feel good knowing i look good af!

  • @isabellag.2147
    @isabellag.21474 жыл бұрын

    That's it, I'm wearing my wedding dress to the Area 51 raid.

  • @mimaprilgonzalez43064

    @mimaprilgonzalez43064

    4 жыл бұрын

    👽😂

  • @cassandrac8849

    @cassandrac8849

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yeeeessss

  • @SoftSpokenReviews

    @SoftSpokenReviews

    4 жыл бұрын

    Isabella Zamora yessssssssssss💕👌🏻😂

  • @tashiming1082

    @tashiming1082

    4 жыл бұрын

    Lol

  • @khinh1515

    @khinh1515

    4 жыл бұрын

    Isabella Zamora 😂😂

  • @yogawarriorgirl
    @yogawarriorgirl4 жыл бұрын

    I'm feeling a little bit called out here, with all the notebooks sitting around that will never be finished or even started. They're too good to scribble in.

  • @TamaGalactica

    @TamaGalactica

    4 жыл бұрын

    I hadn't even considered the notebooks. I totally thought that I don't have anything I don't use regularly. I just want my nice notebooks to stay nice. Or to only have extremely organized thoughts in them. I almost wrote in my only empty one today but was like, nahhh.

  • @nadjak3410

    @nadjak3410

    4 жыл бұрын

    Start scribbling :) waste the first page on doodles. No excuse left. Then start writing down your most precious memories. Pick one and carry it with you every day 🌹

  • @jadiecakes3241

    @jadiecakes3241

    4 жыл бұрын

    omg YES!!! i had to stop mself buying things like that when I realised it was turning into hoarding.

  • @rocsiali4092

    @rocsiali4092

    4 жыл бұрын

    I call that "blank paper fear" Haha. I know how you feel. I have gone so far as to use mostly lined paper for artwork I find not "perfect" enough for blank paper. Looking back, a lot of those I wish were on blank paper because I did put a lot effort into those beautiful works.

  • @smrk2452

    @smrk2452

    4 жыл бұрын

    I held on to a sophisticated coloring book for 4yrs bc it was too pretty. I didn't want to mess it up.

  • @myragold3213
    @myragold32132 жыл бұрын

    I bought these beautiful drinking glasses in Venice and my mother says don't use them for they might break and I said to her I don't care if I break them, I don't want for someone else to have them when I am gone and they get to use them and break them 🤷🤦🏼

  • @m3rra_
    @m3rra_2 жыл бұрын

    As an intorert, I can truly say that I relate to this; as I am always, waiting for the right time before doing something in my life. The 'clothes and candle kept in the boxes' reflects our ideas, goals and skills that have been kept due to some excuses laid into our heads to always wait for the right moment. And little did we know, those skills, goals, and ideas we have in mind will eventually be forgotten. If we always wait for that right moment to come, when is it going to be? that's why I also am trying to iply the quote "Do it when you're not ready". The message of this talk really hits hard on me:)

  • @candicewaller403
    @candicewaller4034 жыл бұрын

    I recently got into the habit of wearing my best shoes and my favorite clothes on a daily basis. It's such a nice feeling, stepping out looking great. Why save it? What am I saving it for? Is feeling like I look good something I'm supposed to be rationing? No way! So now all my clothes are my favorites and all my shoes are good ones. (I saved a few mediocre things for yardwork) The rest got hauled off to charity.

  • @carolineward5153

    @carolineward5153

    4 жыл бұрын

    I know I bought them all

  • @carolesteinberg7463
    @carolesteinberg74634 жыл бұрын

    Yesterday my friend said, you’re the only Person I’ve seen all day that has on a skirt and high heels. I Looked around and everyone was in yoga pants, sweats pajama type pants and jeans. We should wear our nice things.

  • @CherieDeDieu

    @CherieDeDieu

    3 жыл бұрын

    I get such comments all the time too. I am always dressing up; every day of my life. Don't even like looking sloppy when indoors. Life is too short y'all; let's wear all our nice clothes! 😊😍

  • @JolienVDH
    @JolienVDH3 жыл бұрын

    I use all my stuff and I always honored the principle: wear everything you own. So a I wear gala dresses to work. ☺️

  • @wishingonthemoon1
    @wishingonthemoon1 Жыл бұрын

    My (abusive, physically and emotionally) mother was a hoarder. She had an even more abusive mother and not much as a kid. And her mother would take her things and money. Growing up in that environment made me a minimalist. I don’t even like paintings and pictures on the walls. I don’t do knick knacks. I find having less somehow makes the things I have even more important. They don’t get lost in the clutter and blend into the background. I love my things and I use my things. I only have clothes I wear and *like* to wear.

  • @larneyful
    @larneyful4 жыл бұрын

    Just went and changed out of my track pants and put on the funky trousers that have been unworn in the cupboard for the last 18 months. Feel better already. Great talk! Thanks!

  • @m4ri5a8

    @m4ri5a8

    4 жыл бұрын

    Awesome for you :)

  • @fabqatv5824

    @fabqatv5824

    4 жыл бұрын

    larneyful wow this is awesome

  • @AmbiCahira
    @AmbiCahira4 жыл бұрын

    I wear my fancy clothes around the house when I need to improve my mood. One of the best things I started doing because how I dress for my Netflix or my dinner is my buisness. Such a great antidepressant to feel pampered. :)

  • @romy3582

    @romy3582

    2 жыл бұрын

    Yessss great I do this too!! To boost up my mood and to look nice in front my own mirror, its therapeutical ❤️

  • @daniellecherry4834

    @daniellecherry4834

    2 жыл бұрын

    I will definitely try this! Thank you!

  • @fiddleandsqueak6504
    @fiddleandsqueak6504 Жыл бұрын

    Sometimes it’s not about using something, it’s about appreciating its beauty & knowing it’s there for you to admire. Looking at it & admiring it & thinking how lucky I am to have it. It’s also about the memories & who gave me an item & preserving it for years to come.

  • @moshe2495

    @moshe2495

    11 ай бұрын

    You've missed the point completely.

  • @fiddleandsqueak6504

    @fiddleandsqueak6504

    11 ай бұрын

    @@moshe2495 how?

  • @dphnvllrb7379
    @dphnvllrb73792 жыл бұрын

    I had this realization when I cared for my dying father and I realized how short life is. All that she’s said I’ve done it. And how much little things can really make us happy in life.

  • @anacorona2527
    @anacorona25274 жыл бұрын

    This talk was so inspiring!! I used to be more bold and confident in my younger years, now I tend to dress in accordance with the style of the people I work with, my group of friends or guys I date because I don’t like feeling “out of place”, not realizing it is my right to look and feel good about myself and for myself exclusively.

  • @karunasharma1883

    @karunasharma1883

    4 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely... I second you... I had been doing the same and over the years something started dying inside me... Couple months ago I gathered myself up and reinvented myself... This talk just boosted me up big time.

  • @peachymamma732

    @peachymamma732

    4 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely!

  • @ginamiller6754

    @ginamiller6754

    4 жыл бұрын

    Ana C wear your style! Whatever you love. That’s what makes you unique!! I’ve always wanted to be taller (I’m 4’11) I used to always wear very high heels. I hurt my back so now I wear much lower heels or even flats. And I wear my really nice lower heels whenever I want & really enjoy them. 😉

  • @daleallen5575

    @daleallen5575

    4 жыл бұрын

    It is definitely your right to feel and look good. Don't dim your light to accommodate anyone. May you shine brightly!

  • @anacorona2527

    @anacorona2527

    4 жыл бұрын

    Gina Miller Absolutely! I too, put my body under a lot of pain and pressure, or putting layers of makeup every morning. Now I feel more free and beautiful with a comfortable, yet beautiful everyday look that is sustainable and shows my true essence!

  • @zoeitzaify
    @zoeitzaify4 жыл бұрын

    For me it's the fabric in my sewing stash that I never feel like I can figure out how to use - because it's too nice to cut.

  • @Jraymiami

    @Jraymiami

    4 жыл бұрын

    Zoe Pateman ...ya the one with the most fabric wins!

  • @angeliquemaez5569

    @angeliquemaez5569

    4 жыл бұрын

    Yes!!!!!

  • @catherineallen6024

    @catherineallen6024

    4 жыл бұрын

    If you love looking at it uncut, there's nothing wrong with keeping it that way. IMHO.

  • @julesh1335

    @julesh1335

    4 жыл бұрын

    Zoe Pateman I am so guilty of this! I try to combat it by telling my sisters that if I can’t come up with a plan for something it’s theirs to use (...the horror)

  • @TippyPuddles

    @TippyPuddles

    4 жыл бұрын

    I'm an accomplished seamstress with an associates in fashion designing. Measure twice and cut once. You've got to learn to just rip into it or you'll never create what you want. Trust me, it's fun one you let go and won't understand until you do it.

  • @nemo82mi
    @nemo82mi2 жыл бұрын

    All the capsule wardrobe and Mari Kondo couldn’t do what this speech did to me. I still have clothes, jewellery and wines I am saving for special occasions. After 2 declutter every year my closest is still full of clothes that I am saving for special occasions that hasn’t arrived yet. I am re doing my house tidy with the mindset I learned from this lecture. Thank you so much 🙏

  • @stariadreamtea

    @stariadreamtea

    Жыл бұрын

    When you say "Marie Kondo" do you mean actually reading her books? Because the Netflix show barely touches the help she actually provides in depth on the books. Truly life changing.

  • @sparkdorable

    @sparkdorable

    Жыл бұрын

    In marie kondo, You can still have a nice thing and wear it .. you should feel spark joy in every item, no hoarder. And with this speech. I think it is complementing. You have to wear what you have. It makes sense to me in both their idea 🧡

  • @alinahMQuantum
    @alinahMQuantum Жыл бұрын

    Excellent talk and level of confidence. I will always remember this.."don't let your candle melt in your closet..live in the present" my new mantra for every single item I've been piling up at home

  • @TheStephanieAnnFoster
    @TheStephanieAnnFoster4 жыл бұрын

    I wasn't sold on her speaking style at first, but this was such a great message, and reading through the comments has ever so slightly restored my 1:00 AM faith in humanity. Thank you for putting this into the world.

  • @miranda27895

    @miranda27895

    2 жыл бұрын

    Ironically this is what I am doing right now

  • @rjcaliber3261

    @rjcaliber3261

    2 жыл бұрын

    That's exactly how I feel

  • @FitOutsideTheBox

    @FitOutsideTheBox

    Жыл бұрын

    This is me!

  • @susanbartlett8418

    @susanbartlett8418

    Жыл бұрын

    This talk was written to be read, not spoken. Sadly, I couldn’t get past the delivery and posing despite the importance of the message

  • @dnmagcon

    @dnmagcon

    Жыл бұрын

    @@susanbartlett8418 she was clear, concise and perfectly TEDX delivered.

  • @auberjean6873
    @auberjean68734 жыл бұрын

    Thank you, Gillian Dunn, for reminding me of what a man said, who was born in 1923. "Yesterday is a cancelled check. Today is cash on the line. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Hank Stram That's why right now is so important. It's all we really have. Yet, we forget, and need this brilliant lady to remind us.

  • @waynestaats9072

    @waynestaats9072

    4 жыл бұрын

    Looks like a lot of people keep promissory notes in their wardrobe. Who knew?

  • @user-yy6uw2kf4i
    @user-yy6uw2kf4i2 жыл бұрын

    It’s absolutely true you shop for what you don’t have. I didn’t grow up here. I grew up very poor. I am well off financially but I derive a used car, fully own my house, be debt. I wear every thing I buy the same day maximum the same week. I might not wear my expensive stuff for an event but I do at home with full make up and nice hair do, just for me and my husband. I can come home and I didn’t eat all day, and I will eat a peanut butter sandwich and it feels great. Most of my nights I pull the cover and I thank Got for what I have. I don’t have a single item with the tag on. Everything that I don’t wear I give away old or new. I don’t pass on life because it’s gift from Got, I don’t buy what I miss in my life. I find what I miss in my life by sharing what I have.

  • @ladymarycrawley6613
    @ladymarycrawley6613 Жыл бұрын

    Minimalism helps greatly, it slowly becomes joy when you own the things you need, love and feel cosy in. A form of using your energy wisely.

  • @mkivts
    @mkivts4 жыл бұрын

    Hmmm. I once bought a 400 euro coat. I kept it in my closet for 10 years. Now that I'm a student again, I sold it for 100 euros and bought some food. That was extremely useful.

  • @lindawortman2277
    @lindawortman22774 жыл бұрын

    Lung Cancer taught me how to clean all the closets in our home, get outside and do what others never thought of...with most of my left lung gone AND, I never smoked. Thanks for working as a ER Nurse and giving this remarkable speech! Ia grateful to you! Linda

  • @blueseptember2174

    @blueseptember2174

    Жыл бұрын

    Wow I am so sorry you went through that but I'm glad your still here. You hear alot now of no smoking lung cancer. Our environments are getting so full of chemicals I know we will see more. Peace to you.

  • @jeannettegodwin4268
    @jeannettegodwin4268 Жыл бұрын

    Fabulous..can’t wait for tomorrow. i watched this late at night…changes will happen in the morning!!! Thanks a bunch

  • @acertree1980
    @acertree19802 жыл бұрын

    I've enjoyed reading the comments more than the catalyst (no disrespect to the speaker). It's a great anecdotal message to me as I literally cleared out my whole wardrobe using the pandemic quarantine time to revamp the way I dress since becoming disabled. I sometimes think " why did you buy that if you've got nowhere to go,?" But now, look good, feel good has become my new mantra and I refuse to "not light my candle" and will let it shine brightly no matter how many stares I get 😊

  • @LifeWithLeigh
    @LifeWithLeigh4 жыл бұрын

    "When you put excuses on hold, the other side of that is joy" My 2020 mantra

  • @morganscott7480
    @morganscott74804 жыл бұрын

    I am now wearing that necklace that I received as a gift for my 16th birthday that I have never worn before 🥰

  • @alamedadanceparty
    @alamedadanceparty2 жыл бұрын

    Wow, I'm so moved. I have the "I'm not enough" mindset, and learned from my dad to "save" all the "special" items for a "special occasion." This talk was really powerful. I appreciate the core message. I aim to host a party with friends like you did so we can all wear our "too special items." Someday NOW! 💃

  • @minidini4000

    @minidini4000

    Жыл бұрын

    Yeah, go for it! Life your life

  • @paulaatieno4865
    @paulaatieno48652 жыл бұрын

    This is one of my best talk.I feel attacked,but in a polite sweet way.This one directly hit me,more like a wake up call to make each day that special occasion.

  • @terrinakata3609

    @terrinakata3609

    Жыл бұрын

    .

  • @jeszlyn16
    @jeszlyn164 жыл бұрын

    This is the most life-changing 15 minutes of my life. Like wow, "Life gives you a present and the present is Today" time to unwrap my present 🎁 ✨

  • @carolynhong8586
    @carolynhong85864 жыл бұрын

    Not letting my candle to melt in my closet anymore. This is an eyeopening talk that inspire me! It's a simple reminder of stop being consumptive and treasuring the things we own now , use it for today and not tomorrow.

  • @lindadonn5530
    @lindadonn55302 жыл бұрын

    I wear and love my clothes! Come to my home I use my best things for all my guests... Great advice!!! Live!!! Great advice from a nurse, I survived 14 surgery’s! Thanks for the reminder!❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @wandawanda9027
    @wandawanda90272 жыл бұрын

    My sister lived by the theme, she used everything she had. Once I told her I saved my good coat, she asked, "is it better than you?" She died at 58.

  • @HelloDecember525

    @HelloDecember525

    Жыл бұрын

    Wow. Wise words! Thank you!!! 💖💖💖

  • @misterfat4613

    @misterfat4613

    Жыл бұрын

    I’m sorry you lost your sister so young. I’m glad she seems to have lived fully.

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