Bulletproof for BJJ Podcast 104: Mat Bullies! How to deal with them and Improve Gym Culture.

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Ever had someone pick on you at training? Did they go out of their way to be mean to you? Abuse and bullying are present across all parts of life but in BJJ which is so physical it can be particularly confronting! Whether it’s coming from a higher rank or even just a bigger stronger team mate it can really put you off wanting to train.
JT & Joey go in depth on their own personal experiences of Mat Bullying and it can wreck a gym’s culture left unchecked. BJJ demands toughness but what is just banter and when does it start to be bullying? What is rolling a bit too hard compared to physical abuse?
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Пікірлер: 48

  • @pedroluiz2741
    @pedroluiz2741Күн бұрын

    wtf I don’t know if that’s common in america or other places but in Brazil that’s the kind of shit that gets someone kicked off of a school, respect is the number one thing over here

  • @astinus4
    @astinus4Ай бұрын

    Totally relate to the comment about not calling higher belts to roll! I’m a white belt who’s just experienced that for the first time at my current gym. The previous place I trained was quite small (7 or 8 people per class on a good day), and the only black belt was the instructor. It was just normal for everyone to roll with everyone. The concept of people selecting who they rolled with was something I only encountered after I switched to a larger place a few months ago. Overall I’m enjoying the new place much more, but I did have an odd experience recently with one of the black belts who when I approached him for a roll pointed without a word at another white belt. Naive as I was I just said in what I thought was a friendly way “are you sure.” He didn’t say anything - just pointed at the other white belt again and off I went. I was actually a bit annoyed as it was quite a weird interaction and I felt that he was rude by not actually talking to me; plus I noticed that he was perfectly happy to roll with a female white belt later that night. However I get it now in the context of the belt hierarchy. If any black belt or even a higher belt tells you to do something, just do it.

  • @badeybushcraft4946
    @badeybushcraft49464 ай бұрын

    I generally don’t mind the gym bullies as long as they aren’t actually breaking my joints. I’m six years into the grappling game now though, so I don’t get bullied as much as I used to. I’m more bothered by the guys that get high before class and are so toasted out of their minds that they don’t know you’ve tapped during drilling practice.

  • @diontaerespress3602
    @diontaerespress3602 Жыл бұрын

    I love rolling with gym bullies. I'm not usually the first one to get to them but it's fun when I do. I'm 133 and deceptively strong so I catch them off guard. After the roll I'm sure to let them know I'm not even top 10 in the gym. They usually never come back or they change their ways. If they show up to wrestling it's even worst for them.

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    sounds like a nice little hustle you got going there. Hahaha!

  • @speedyflash8
    @speedyflash8 Жыл бұрын

    Bravo guys. Good stuff. A service to the community for sure. So many f*ckin jackheads that honestly need to hear this, but of course 99.99% of those jagoffs are not the type to ever seek this kind of knowledge. But if hopefully some of them do, and spread it, then that's golden. And you're right, ultimately, not everyone can be reached except through the coach/owner of the school. They need to put out a simple creed like you guys mentioned, define the culture a little bit in a positive way. Lay down some law. Thanks for another good one!!

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    Ah thanks for the feedback! A gym creed goes a long way.

  • @chadbrambers8346
    @chadbrambers8346 Жыл бұрын

    I’m seven months deep in to white belt. Rolled with a new white belt who was violently trying to wrestle. He choked to tight the first two times and got me pissed off. So, I triangled him on the third go and then let him go. Dude kicks me with both feet in the chest at the reset. I walked away and he started trying to egg me on for the last minute. I told him thank you, and left early. Blows my mind that someone would be that stupid. I’ll be back in two days. I suppose I got the best of him but I’m not there for that. I’m there to apply what I’ve learned and have proper etiquette. I’m not rolling or doing any drills with him and I’m not the only one. He’s going to end up without a partner at which point I assume he will have to show himself to the door.

  • @boardgamer447
    @boardgamer4473 ай бұрын

    Worst mat bullies at my gym are usually the fat guys to be honest. E.g., super-heavy brown belts who would rather grab my hands and twist my wrists than technically pass my (blue belt) closed guard. Or using catch wrestling techniques in a BJJ class. Can openers rather than breaking the guard with techniques we've been taught in class. Etc. etc. As I get older and more injury-prone the more I look to avoid those guys.

  • @Nepthu

    @Nepthu

    2 ай бұрын

    100%. Another guy my same rank always wants to work with me even though he outweighs me by 50lbs. I finally told him I'm not the best match for him.

  • @brett4756
    @brett475610 ай бұрын

    Really good, useful, interesting conversation about difficult situations we encounter on the mats.

  • @urielm07
    @urielm07 Жыл бұрын

    Dude that Turkey slap had me rolling on the floor dying

  • @JuanpMelendez
    @JuanpMelendez Жыл бұрын

    It’s the gentle art…when you don’t resist

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    hahahah truth

  • @2130dar
    @2130dar8 ай бұрын

    “You haven’t got good fitness? Good.” Perfectly said haha I heard the jocko willink inside

  • @eliranassaraf7075
    @eliranassaraf70758 ай бұрын

    Interesting debate about moving out of the way for black belts. One of you said that what the black belt is working on is more important, but if we compare it to another sport like basketball or hockey, everyones just there to play have fun and get better, so I dont the better players are necessarily doing something more important than the noobies (especially considering some of them might actually be on their black belt journey)

  • @angelatoumas8040
    @angelatoumas80408 ай бұрын

    I have been training BJJ now for almost a year and I have been bullied and mistreated very much. I am skinny and a woman and I get treated weirdly by almost everyone I roll with. I get bullied worse by other women. Thank you for bringing this topic up.

  • @sleeplessdev7204

    @sleeplessdev7204

    3 ай бұрын

    You should find a different gym before it kills the fun of the sport for you

  • @angelatoumas8040

    @angelatoumas8040

    3 ай бұрын

    @@sleeplessdev7204 It's gotten better now. Since I have been training more and getting better my strength and technique has gotten better also. I am submitting and a tough rolling opponent now. No one bullies me anymore 😊.

  • @anarchisttutor7423
    @anarchisttutor74236 ай бұрын

    I'm not being encouraged to start, or to get my nephew started. If the gym owner doesn't prevent this, they won't get my money.

  • @ComptonII
    @ComptonII Жыл бұрын

    Hilarious stories...thanks

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    You're welcome!

  • @itpugil
    @itpugil Жыл бұрын

    @16:22 He turkey-slapped you LOL

  • @OneEyedDrummerTDHE
    @OneEyedDrummerTDHE10 ай бұрын

    Filthy casual white belt here, i am not sure if i have somehow slighted this dude in my gym, I be as humble and polite as possible. But he will absolutely crush me far beyond what would be required to win, he outweighs me by around 75 lbs. congratulated him on his new belt. He responded “ I didnt get a new belt” then proceeded to smash me for 10 mins. Asked him how long he had been training for.. He said 12 days.. (purple belt)

  • @brewhaha515
    @brewhaha5156 ай бұрын

    Stop trying to be nice to him. He obviously just wants to act like a dickhead. Just roll and only talk to him if it’s unavoidable. That’s what I would do anyway. Some people are just miserable to be around.

  • @melvinfigueroa3414
    @melvinfigueroa3414 Жыл бұрын

    What if your a male blue belt dominating a female black belt? Male has 30lbs on the female, and gym allows male and female rolls. Blue belt only uses pressure, and female black belt all she has to do is escape. Who is the bully in this scenario?

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    Tough question. If you are physically bigger and stronger than someone male or female and that is the only reason you "beat" them, then the question is yur jiu-jitsu any good. How you treat people is your own decision...

  • @eliranassaraf7075

    @eliranassaraf7075

    8 ай бұрын

    And who rolls out of the way if they roll into you 😂

  • @ElNiNjA246
    @ElNiNjA246 Жыл бұрын

    wait why werent you tapping to the marcello garcia lover? did i miss something?

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    I did tap but he still choked me unconscious...😫

  • @opiejab
    @opiejab Жыл бұрын

    What were the Instagram accounts again?

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    @bulletproofforbjj @jbjoey @jt_tenacity

  • @oldboardwax1
    @oldboardwax18 ай бұрын

    Baseball isn’t a throat crush if you do it right

  • @JoriMikke78
    @JoriMikke7811 ай бұрын

    Gold medals, gold watches... Gold teeth?

  • @730prime5
    @730prime5 Жыл бұрын

    Is this a repeat? Im having wild dejavu or this is a repeat

  • @bulletproofforbjj

    @bulletproofforbjj

    Жыл бұрын

    I think you've heard us talk one too many times : )

  • @Bradley9967

    @Bradley9967

    Жыл бұрын

    This is because the advert they filmed at the beginning has been copied over.

  • @Philip-dy3ww
    @Philip-dy3ww10 ай бұрын

    What a good lesson to me. I am tempted to duck people.

  • @talon-il7xk
    @talon-il7xk10 ай бұрын

    Always 1 guy I swear always 1

  • @SamPalms6943
    @SamPalms69436 ай бұрын

    I use wrestling a lot in my rolls, I’m a white belt and do mean well and I’m wondering if that’s discouraging some of my peers, because I am pretty much hopeless in bottom positions and most of my game revolves around staying on top and attempting to pass guard and getting into side control. I take my roll’s seriously and it never crossed my mind that I could be a mat bully until a girl I rolled with twice got accidentally hurt and seems to be pretty pissed about it and thinks I’m reckless or dangerous in the gym. For context I did not go 100% and with woman I attempt to focus solely on technique rather than strong arming anyone, in our rolls the first 5 minutes went really well, she commented on how well I moved and she tapped me with an arm bar. Then we have to find new partners in which the only two people remaining was me and her, so we went again and it went virtually the same way except she got me in an armbar again and I did a roll which caused her to be hurt and stepped off the mat. Felt terrible went to my instructor after class and told him that I felt bad and told him the situation, he said to me that I was fine. The next class I go to me and another guy we’re wrestling and we’re told to keep working for the takedown which lead us on the other side of the Mat where the girls were training. I wanted to reset and looking back just should’ve since there was no harm in doing that other than us being told to work the hips into the mat. The other guy gets me and turns me into the wall in which I’m just stuck and cannot move until the instructor tells us to reset. I later learn that she wanted to tell us that we were being dangerous or something and the main instructor told her not to do that and she got mad. I’m also starting to notice that the other guy doesn’t want to roll with me like we used to and I have a feeling it’s because of this situation since he likes the girl and might have a small crush on her. I’m mostly wondering if wrestling in a jujitsu gym is kinda a dick move because in my gym it seems to be encouraged with wrestling classes but I rarely find myself on my back but I do get caught neck deep in submissions so I always thought it was fair but if playing dominant positions all class is frustrating and making people not want to roll with me I’d rather not do that and can work on my guard which is something I want to do, but lack the knowledge on what to do so I feel I would just sacrifice my own enjoyment for others to feel good beating me. I really like this gym the people are great and even after that class people came up to me telling how I did good and what to work on but I don’t want beef in the gym I go to because jujitsu and wrestling are a honest passion of mine and a way for me to unwind. Admittedly though I do take rolls very seriously as I perviously stated and upper belts absolutely wreck my shit so I assumed that’s how people trained and I genuinely have no issue with that myself so I never want to go into a roll and have my partner believe I’m not trying so there successes aren’t just given to them plus I’m really not skilled enough to warrant me holding back outside of my affinity for wrestling which seems to be pretty uncommon amongst the other people my level in the gym. I watched the video and am just searching for what exactly is a mat bully and if I need to tone it back, but I’m finding confusion on what exactly it is. Some people say it’s someone who is just rough, others say it’s someone who is intentionally choosing lower skilled people, and pretty much all of them say how as a white belt they were “spastic” which makes it hard for me to understand what I should be doing. Which lead me to believe that for lower belts who focus primarily on jujitsu maybe a person who wrestles primarily is unique and frustrating because it’s pretty obvious to tell what is a jujitsu move and what’s not leading some to think I might be just recklessly grabbing and pulling and not be experienced enough to identify I am using what I know about wrestling, since as a wrestler I have the experience rolling with jujitsu guys and what jujitsu looks like. I find upper belts appreciate my wrestling and me as a member so it tough for me to tell what I need to do. If you read this I appreciate you it was a lot but I would like to know what would be the best way to navigate this experience.

  • @jarrettmaurice3070

    @jarrettmaurice3070

    5 ай бұрын

    Try giving each of your training partners that are not as skilled at defense 2 moves/grips/adjustments to your 1 It forces your “fury” into “focus” 6yrs on the mats for me and this mentality has improved my BJJ and made rolling with smaller or less experienced partners and students very engaging for both people.

  • @gamador3417
    @gamador3417Күн бұрын

    I disagree with these guys. If someone doesn't want to roll, they don't have to roll. BJJ is all about techniques. Getting beat up doesn't teach you techniques, it just teaches you to hate the sport.

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