Breaking the anxiety cycle through kindness | Steven Zanella | TEDxAmoskeagMillyard

Trapped in a lifelong loop of anxiety and fear, it took a small miracle to quiet the negative voices in Steven Zanella’s head, allowing him to practice the self-kindness that would change his thinking - and his life - for good.
Learn more about Steven Zanella at bit.ly/TEDxAM15SteveZanella.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 625

  • @marcuscrossett2658
    @marcuscrossett26587 жыл бұрын

    This is without a doubt the best Tedx talk, and talk on anxiety that I have ever heard. Don't underestimate how much this will help people. Brilliant job Steven, you should be incredibly proud!!

  • @isaacbatista.musica

    @isaacbatista.musica

    6 жыл бұрын

    Youre right.Lots of lectures pretend to solve our problem overnight, which I know is not possible. But he showed us his own experience openly.

  • @romanr7948

    @romanr7948

    6 жыл бұрын

    Isaac Batista, lots of problems CAN be solved overnight... or more accurately, in one session. A session, not lecture.

  • @shawna_mills8414

    @shawna_mills8414

    5 жыл бұрын

    I agree

  • @ameyavelapurkar8232

    @ameyavelapurkar8232

    5 жыл бұрын

    Roger that

  • @oyvay

    @oyvay

    2 жыл бұрын

    xj@@isaacbatista.musica no u g

  • @austingiellis4775
    @austingiellis47757 жыл бұрын

    ive never related to something so much in my life!

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Glad you connected with it. Thanks for taking the time to watch it.

  • @emcgivney

    @emcgivney

    7 жыл бұрын

    I related to your story. I am going through this exact thing now, and feel I am losing my mind. I almost never want to leave the house, and I am terrified about going to work. How did this happen....that is all I can think

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    It's the thoughts you are thinking that is causing the anxiety to grow. You must learn to refocus your thinking and open up to the understanding that you do have control, you just need to learn how to take it back. Check out my The Anxiety Dharma Facebook group and maybe I can help. facebook.com/groups/887184724746336/

  • @emcgivney

    @emcgivney

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so kindly Steve!!!

  • @ourmodernworldofficial

    @ourmodernworldofficial

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Steve! Very good presentation!

  • @sofiacc
    @sofiacc5 жыл бұрын

    "i felt that i was surrounded by happy people living normal lives, and i was just faking it and i was worried that some day people will find out my secret,,, that i wasn't normal that i wasn't like everyone else" :( ... this is exactly how i feel.. thank you for your speech so very very much it helps to know people that are experiencing this. and overcoming it like you, you are awesome

  • @vinodkc7614

    @vinodkc7614

    4 жыл бұрын

    I am experiensing anxiety disorder for long time this guy give a little hope and make me believe that am not alone with this kind of feelings.. than you..

  • @mindthemind4954

    @mindthemind4954

    4 жыл бұрын

    It's the most annoying experience. I went through exactly what Steve explained but was able to break out. I am happy to help

  • @mindthemind4954

    @mindthemind4954

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@vinodkc7614 I made it out. Let's help each other break the chains

  • @Eargis

    @Eargis

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@mindthemind4954 How were you able to break out? What helped you the most?

  • @despicabledavidshort3806

    @despicabledavidshort3806

    Жыл бұрын

    this is exactly how I feel as well

  • @mre456
    @mre4566 жыл бұрын

    Lying in bed listening to this in the dark with tears streaming down my face. Steven's story is so relatable. I've had that voice in my head my whole life.

  • @despicabledavidshort3806

    @despicabledavidshort3806

    Жыл бұрын

    I was doing dishes while crying

  • @kakacech
    @kakacech7 жыл бұрын

    This is so tough.. This guy is brave as f

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @benshackelford1223
    @benshackelford12237 жыл бұрын

    I have suffered the same problems with severe anxiety, depression, self hatred, panic attacks my whole life. My wife just left me after 7 years of marriage because she considered my mental condition a weakness & she could not stay in love with a 45 year old man who is weak. You are the bravest person i have ever seen on TEDx, Steven and just knowing that someone like you struggles daily with the disorder and still has the courage to inform those lucky enough to not be afflicted... gives me hope that i am not the total loser/freak/outcast i have felt like all my life. Thank you for sharing : )

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing with me! I am so sorry for what you are going through. Take this time to work on yourself. You are not weak because you have a mental condition. It takes great strength to know you are vulnerable. There is so much life has to offer. Don't let the actions of others dictate your self-worth. Find the benefit that is hidden in the pain and work towards making yourself a better version of who you are. I'd be happy to try and help if I can.

  • @Barefoot67

    @Barefoot67

    6 жыл бұрын

    one could make the argument that your exwife is the neurotic and "weak" one. It's all about perspective

  • @hippiehippie969

    @hippiehippie969

    4 жыл бұрын

    Just note this ..what you. Have suffered it can make people to fall in knees if they have the same problem.. but you stood up and that is brave..

  • @heatherwiner2883
    @heatherwiner28837 жыл бұрын

    I can relate to this. I cried with you and could feel your pain. I have social anxiety so bad I have not had a date in 20 years and can not hold on to a job. I have insomnia from the constant overthinking. Thank you for your talk. It gives me hope.

  • @libbyuniverse9509

    @libbyuniverse9509

    6 жыл бұрын

    Heather Winer I hope things get better ^^ *hugs*

  • @rondae7121

    @rondae7121

    6 жыл бұрын

    Heather Winer

  • @soldiergaming2722

    @soldiergaming2722

    5 жыл бұрын

    I sincerely hope things get better for you! I have situational axiety I believe... I've never been diagnosed but all my panic attacks usually happen when certain situations arrive... It's very frustrating

  • @calicocatvlogger

    @calicocatvlogger

    5 жыл бұрын

    hello I have anxiety as well, and cant keep a job for longer than some months, may i ask you how do you do it? if you cannot work, do you work from home or what do you do? it is currently so bad that i have to think what to do instead of working because i cannot stand it, my anxiety is too severe

  • @234pinnni

    @234pinnni

    4 жыл бұрын

    Heather Winer wow 😮 I feel you, my feeling are the same

  • @bobpipes5183
    @bobpipes51836 жыл бұрын

    This talk was about me. Thank you for sharing I don't feel like the only one anymore.

  • @mindthemind4954

    @mindthemind4954

    4 жыл бұрын

    I was ones in this situation, i would love to help

  • @11219tt

    @11219tt

    3 жыл бұрын

    Mind The Mind help me too. I need it.

  • @luiscrespo9902

    @luiscrespo9902

    2 жыл бұрын

    Bob Pipes, you surely are not alone. There are millions of us in the world.

  • @gman7644
    @gman76445 жыл бұрын

    I've had anxiety all my life, One very important piece of advice i have to share, stress will accumulate in muscle tissue, which is the hiding place for stress, which causes a lot of physical symptoms. I bought a treadmill and walk/run on it and it really relieves the anxiety /stress. Yes, you could just go for a walk, but sometime you want to be able to control the speed and duration, slant ect for varying the intensity. gentle walking on it works wonders, one minute runs work amazing too.

  • @KM-wv2og
    @KM-wv2og5 жыл бұрын

    I cried when you talked about your Dad being outside the door ... I cried because you are so beautifully transparent and vulnerable and real... and how you have become strong and now helping others.

  • @pashapashaei9635
    @pashapashaei96352 жыл бұрын

    " that, no matter what choice I made, it would be the wrong one; that no choices were good, they were all bad ". So relatable, So genuine. Best TED talk on anxiety ever.

  • @mrgaguilera60
    @mrgaguilera605 жыл бұрын

    I’m 42. I think I grew up with anxiety disorder. Couldn’t focus in class reading the same page. The things that I wanted seemed almost attained but I would sabotage myself. When situations got complicated I would run away with fear.I totally relate to you. I self medicate too. Somewhere between 8 and 42 years of age it got out of control. I would tell myself that I wasn’t worried about something specific, like moving house. I would tell myself that I can use a positive attitude. That would work for small problems. Getting rid of anxiety was almost impossible, but I finally admitted it to myself that I have it. What a relief. Now the work begins. My days are so special now.

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    5 жыл бұрын

    Keep up the great work. Celebrate the small victories and allow room for the small failures... they both will come. Good luck!

  • @Iremiah
    @Iremiah8 жыл бұрын

    Wow. This is one of the best motivational speeches I've ever heard in my life! Sir you have my sincere respect. Unlike other theorists and people who claim to have allready overcome their ordeal but appear so fake and arrogant on the other hand, you showed us how to fight. You showed us how to stand on the stage while still fighting your own battle and last until the end. Your bravery is even more inspirering than any words. I believe Anxiety won't ever really go away- it's a live long battle. I try to think of you when I get my next panic attack :)

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    8 жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much!

  • @bribyann2992

    @bribyann2992

    8 жыл бұрын

    +Steve Zanella loved your video, thank you for posting. I lost a Ted Talks video about a guy I could 100% relate too. Is there someone you know of I can reach out to who host Ted talks who could help me find his name or video again?

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    8 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for the kind words!!! I have no idea how to find your lost talk. Each TEDx talk is managed by a different team based on the location of the talk. You can try to search based on the subject matter of the talk and maybe you will get lucky and find the talk again. Good luck!

  • @bribyann2992

    @bribyann2992

    8 жыл бұрын

    Awesome. Thank you so much

  • @soldiergaming2722

    @soldiergaming2722

    5 жыл бұрын

    Don't think of the next panic attack... That feeds into the cycle.... It's somethinh I struggle with... Ever since I've had anxiety all I can think is... What's gonna be the next trigger... When is the trigger gonna happen... How am I going to behave to that trigger... I guess you'd say I have situational anxiety

  • @KM-wv2og
    @KM-wv2og5 жыл бұрын

    OMG I have never seen such a public display of honesty and courage!!! I LOVE you for this. Thank you SO much for SO HUMAN!!!! I wish you all the good in the Universe.

  • @tulips91
    @tulips91 Жыл бұрын

    Omg I can relate to all of this. People have no idea how it's like to have severe anxiety. It's not only mental but you literally feel unwell on most days, if not every day. I can't even remember what it feels like without anxiety.

  • @debrakelly2500
    @debrakelly25005 жыл бұрын

    I admire this man's vulnerability. I have never heard a better - or more moving- explanation of anxiety from a public speaker. He brought tears to my eyes. I know and love people who have anxiety disorder. After listening to his experience, I feel like I have an even better understanding of my loved ones who battle this illness. It's sad that mental illnesses are still such a stigma when so many of us suffer from them. The more people that share their own story and put faces to mental illness, the less of a stigma they will become. Kindness and understanding are truly the answer here.

  • @michellesalvato3542
    @michellesalvato35428 жыл бұрын

    That was raw emotion Steve, I can relate to you & I feel your pain, so many thoughts go through your head with negative talk & having people bring you down, your quality of life suffers & your in a dead end job & you can't function.......I have nobody building me up.......I suffer from anxiety & depression & unfortunately my family lives a state away, but they don't care about me & I don't have any support system nor do I have any friends & I'm a very friendly & outgoing person & I'm very kind regardless of how badly people around me treat me......I go to the movies by myself, I go shopping by myself, I go to lunch by myself, I recently had a work injury which led me to go the ER 3 different times by myself, it's so sad & humiliating when you are injured & you have nobody to hold your hand & I go painting to keep my mind off the bad things, but by myself......I'm hoping there's a silver lining out there......I'm a good person with a kind-heart I deserve better.......we all do!!!🙏

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    8 жыл бұрын

    I'm so sorry for your struggles. Feeling alone is never fun. But try to look at your independence as a strength... you are strong enough to take care of yourself and be self-sufficient. Learn to build yourself up and focus on what you are capable of doing rather than wishing someone else was there to do it for you. I spent many years surrounded by people but I still felt alone. I'm not sure what is worse... being alone or being with people who make you feel alone. Keep your head up and use your time to focus on things you love. Painting is a great way to share your emotions and story with the world. Maybe take a painting class and talk to others that share your passions. You'll find that you are not as alone as you think you are! Best of luck!

  • @StarshipTroooper
    @StarshipTroooper5 жыл бұрын

    Steven - you crushed it. I'm working harder than ever before on changing my negative thought patterns. I'm 30 and still struggle with severe anxiety, but i'm not giving up. Thanks for your wisdom.

  • @philiphouck1059

    @philiphouck1059

    Жыл бұрын

    Are you on meds

  • @TylerDaSilva522
    @TylerDaSilva522 Жыл бұрын

    I have realized that for anyone out there that is struggling and feel like finally giving up on yourself, YOU have the greatest potential to help people in life. When you start to figure out how to get past obstacles, you will have the ability to help millions who are going through the same thing. Never give up, if you feel like giving up, I am telling you that in that moment it is just the beginning of your story.

  • @sambologna5443
    @sambologna54435 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this. Anxiety has paralyzed my life and ruined some great relationships. I hit rock bottom and hope to be where you are someday. Someday.

  • @kwilson5832
    @kwilson5832 Жыл бұрын

    I never considered myself as having anxiety, as I didn't have anxiety or panic attacks. However, I've recently discovered that's because I avoid situations that might make me anxious. I was in such a situation a few years ago, and needed to choose between one of a selection from set 'A' and one of a selection from set 'B'. I ended up in knots as I tried to work out whether 'A' or 'B' would be better. I asked myself 'but what if 'A' is better?' when I considered an option from set 'B', but also asked 'but what if 'B' is better?' when I considered an option from set 'A'. I ended up making no decision at all, which has ruined my life and my ex-girlfriend's. In hindsight, I realise that I never actually tried answering the questions. I should have considered 'if I choose one from set 'A', then these are the options of circumstances that are likely to happen' and 'if I choose one from set 'B' then this is a list of circumstances that are likely to happen'. It would have been clear which one I should have chosen then, based on the 'fact that the 'best case scenario' if I picked 'A' was better than if I picked 'B', and the worst-case scenario' if I picked 'B' was worse than if I picked 'A'. I got into such a state that I didn't think rationally, so my emotions hampered any decision making skills that I should have used. I've suffered a huge financial loss as a result, lost my long-term relationship and have messed up the rest of my life, as I have ended up in set 'B' and in the 'worst case scenario', but with much worse terms than if I had chose it myself.

  • @m.l.7558

    @m.l.7558

    Жыл бұрын

    I don't know how young or old you are, but let yourself feel the feelings because it is true. It sucks. You don't have to get stuck into that thought forever but recognizing the situation as what it is before moving on helps

  • @nancymadore4292
    @nancymadore42927 жыл бұрын

    A wonderful testament of how love conquers fear. Thank you.

  • @shameemkhan9433
    @shameemkhan94338 жыл бұрын

    He's an amazing speaker. The feelings are real and i have been through all the emotions he has expressed. The voice is very real and scary but it's true you have to break the negative habit snd introduce yourself to a new positive habit. Small steps

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    8 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for your kind words! Small steps every day :)

  • @soldiergaming2722

    @soldiergaming2722

    5 жыл бұрын

    Have you experienced derealization with your panic attacks??? If so... How did you overcome them?

  • @mindthemind4954

    @mindthemind4954

    4 жыл бұрын

    You will make it

  • @cindythankyouforsharingyou5677
    @cindythankyouforsharingyou56778 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for sharing your story. I use to say "why me".... Now I say why not me! Self talk is a powerful dialogue. As a child I would beat myself up verbally, I would not speak that way to anyone else. After many years I realized that I needed to be kind, loving and nice to that inner child that is in all of us.

  • @green3782
    @green37827 жыл бұрын

    best clip on anxiety i have ever seen totally relate to everything said.

  • @swoomphbopert5269
    @swoomphbopert52692 жыл бұрын

    I never got misty eyed listening to a Ted talk before. Amazing job, Steven. I’ll remember your words for a long time.

  • @siuabc
    @siuabc4 жыл бұрын

    "Why I can't be normal"... this is what I think and wish all the time... in deep fear and depression.

  • @DAVE52956
    @DAVE529567 жыл бұрын

    Wow,this should be called "OUT WITTING THE DEVIL!"Thank you.

  • @anabelengarciamartinez4020
    @anabelengarciamartinez40205 жыл бұрын

    Best ever talk about anxiety. Steven you are not alone. Million and million of people are in the same situation as you. You are a wonderful soul, thank you for this great gift you give to anxiety fighters.

  • @doublet630
    @doublet6302 жыл бұрын

    Had my first panic attack at 21. His description is as accurate as any I've ever heard. I'm 53 now and tired of approaching my anxiety the same way....thank you for this talk. To all those out there on this same journey. I believe we can do this!!!!

  • @saileshpant1350
    @saileshpant13506 жыл бұрын

    One of the best TED talk ever

  • @MrKingFTW300
    @MrKingFTW30011 сағат бұрын

    I’m really sorry for anyone going through any sort of anxiety I go through it myself so I understand what it’s like and just wish everyone the best my heart goes out to all of you reading this your amazing take a deep breath and just keep your head up

  • @raindrops2372
    @raindrops23724 жыл бұрын

    My heart ache listening to this. What a great man he is and so strong to made it to the stage. I'm anxious just like him and want to get better.

  • @niwe3631
    @niwe36315 жыл бұрын

    He literally described my past life. And my son was my savior too.

  • @aslynnhallett7542

    @aslynnhallett7542

    2 жыл бұрын

    Love this

  • @NoticeFeelBreathe
    @NoticeFeelBreathe2 жыл бұрын

    Damn. I'm crying as I write this. The turn around where he's thinking about what he wants for his kid... 😭

  • @Ste_VO
    @Ste_VO Жыл бұрын

    Steven, over 6 years later this video is still making an impact. I'm Stephen. I suffer from my own anxieties. Your story, your experiences were almost an exact mirror of what's been going on with me for the past 5 years. Your message is powerful. I too am an expert negative thinker and speaking negatively to myself. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for your bravery. And hey, WHAT IF you didn't get on that stage?

  • @daveandersen2484
    @daveandersen24842 жыл бұрын

    I have battled this my whole life too. At age 33, with a new family, and a new job I had my first panic attack. where I was on 24-7 on call , and the sleep deprivation, and lack of exercise, brought it out. I was always self medicating with extreme cardio exercise. And it worked. People thought I was this fitness nut. When actually I was jogging, running, swimming, hours of hockey, bodybuilding, lap swimming etc, to calm down. Those things help me , and they can help you. Also get 6-8 hours of sleep each night. I start every morning with the Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. And yes , and yes, I go in cold water daily. I don’t push myself as hard. But I am still scared of the dentist and dr. This man said some good stuff that helped me. I hope the things I wrote help others too.

  • @kategrca
    @kategrca2 жыл бұрын

    YOU MADE ME CRY, SIR. I SALUTE YOU!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!

  • @keesalemon
    @keesalemon8 жыл бұрын

    I think I'm depressed, and I have never loved myself. Your talk was inspiring to me, it was so touching and relatable and was what I needed to hear. Thank you.

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    8 жыл бұрын

    +keesalemon Sorry you are feeling depressed. Learning to fix the relationship with ourselves is the most important thing. Our relationship with ourself impacts our relationship with everyone else. You can't truly be happy with others until you are happy with yourself. You can get there! Let me know if I can help. :)

  • @mindthemind4954

    @mindthemind4954

    4 жыл бұрын

    You are not alone. I made out, you will as well.

  • @paulm3316
    @paulm33162 жыл бұрын

    What an amazing story. I am currently at rock bottom. In therapy to deal with lifelong (nearly) anxiety dealing with the effects of a 23 year emotionally abusive marriage. The panic attacks have gotten so bad work has gotten almost unbearable. I know what I need to do, and I'm prepared to do the hard work to do it. There is an awesome person in here, and I'll uncover that. It is not easy! I have an appointment with my regular doctor today to get something to help to just calm myself down enough throughout the day. The advice about parenting yourself really hit home. I have not had the opportunity to be a parent, but I know I would be an awesome one - without the anxiety. I'm going to use that to remind myself I should not be so hard on myself for not instantly getting better. If I had a child who was in the situation I am in, the smallest touch of common sense would tell me loud and clear (and I would listen to THAT) this is a long-haul process. I need to give myself that same grace I would give my child. I need to love myself that much.

  • @vrd5911
    @vrd59117 жыл бұрын

    Breathtaking! This speech saves my life everyday! Be well my friend! I feel you!

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Glad you found it and that it helped. Be well, also, my friend!

  • @vanessaburgess9551
    @vanessaburgess95515 жыл бұрын

    OMG He's going to make me cry at work because I completely understand every litte emotion he's going through! This is the most honest speech about anxiety I have ever heard. I'm just learning to admit I hae anxiety at 30, I can't imagine going infromt of a crowd and admitting the million ways I have avoided life because of my anxiety. I'm so proud of you!

  • @evetteybarra22
    @evetteybarra222 жыл бұрын

    Being present is so big I am slowly learning how to practice this each day. Peace

  • @aparnak2509
    @aparnak25094 жыл бұрын

    This is the best Ted talk I have ever seen. But please change the thumbnail. Due to the present thumbnail, I was not checking this video from a long time. I'm glad I saw it today.

  • @ms.turquoise6341
    @ms.turquoise63416 жыл бұрын

    Thank you for speaking out for me, and people like me. Good to know I'm not alone. I do feel like I'm the only one in the world feeling like this. Everybody tells me not to fear. But man they have no idea what I've been going through. I'm so scared they will understand I'm worthless. I wanna escape from my life.

  • @KoolT
    @KoolT2 жыл бұрын

    Living one day at a time and walking and dance, prayer and meditation helped me so much.

  • @joelbedulla4
    @joelbedulla44 жыл бұрын

    This man's level of empathy is beautiful! Brilliant talk.

  • @CreationwebCo
    @CreationwebCo8 жыл бұрын

    Thank you Mr Steven Zanella you are a great person and i hope i'll be like you and those who are living in anxiety will also be all kind to ourselves and to others.

  • @analisaaquino1894
    @analisaaquino18944 жыл бұрын

    I've been blessed with your testimony.. I'm suffering with social anxiety and I'm so desperate to get rid of this illness coz I'm shock and surprised of what happening to me. I'm a happy person, confident and sociable. 2016 I suffered with depression .. It took 6 months but I'm healed because of my faith with God... 2017 Felt good and okay.. But 2018 I started to have a social anxiety until now.. And it really affect my daily life.. I was very nervous talking to stranger.. Even my old friends when we met after a longtime. I'm so nervous.. I don't know why.. That's make me terrible and a shame coz I'm not the person before.. And they are also wondering what happening to me.. I don't want that it will last .. I want want to be healed , I'm so young and I want to be productive.. Hearing this message., I really cried coz I'm not only the one who's suffering.. And I learned something that I can apply in to my self.. Thank you very much. And God bless you and your family.. May this message inspire many people who's suffering too.

  • @TheMartinick
    @TheMartinick4 жыл бұрын

    I so understand this man. My anxiety still gets the best of me.

  • @jezzaj4579
    @jezzaj4579 Жыл бұрын

    I have reached that rock bottom "place" inside myself. I have never learnt to love myself or even be kind to me. This helped me to see. I have to see ME. Thankyou for this

  • @IamTheLala
    @IamTheLala7 жыл бұрын

    I felt like you were talking to me, you made me tear up.I've had anxiety since I was a child and I'm 37 now and trying to transform and retrain my brain! it hasn't been easy but I created a system for myself and it has been helping. Thank you for sharing. It is reassuring to see i'm not alone in this and it is possible to overcome anxiety.

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    You are anything but alone! :)

  • @mindthemind4954

    @mindthemind4954

    4 жыл бұрын

    Your comments make feel we are many out there but together we are winning over this monster called Depression and Anxiety.

  • @gustavotrejo2097
    @gustavotrejo20977 жыл бұрын

    I absolutely loved hearing your testimony. thank you for sharing your story with the world. it definitely helps me feel that I am not alone in dealing with anxiety. I went to therapy for over a year and much of what I learned is what you mentioned in your talk. hearing you encouraged me to battle my anxiety and silence the voice inside.

  • @joeyvieira9618

    @joeyvieira9618

    6 жыл бұрын

    So me. This is crazy.

  • @Lauradiasc
    @Lauradiasc5 жыл бұрын

    Oh my God! This is my story too! God bless this guy! He's so brave!

  • @mindfulidentitydesign
    @mindfulidentitydesign7 жыл бұрын

    you had me on tears from the beginning until the end, I can relate a lot with everything you said, I was diagnozed with anxiety about 4 years ago butI was living with It and panic attacks my hole life, I started treatment, last year I felt so strong and powerfull and so in control of my life that I asked my doctor to take me off meds cos' I didn't wanna spend my life taking it, this year it all went spiraling down I'm not sure if i'm hitting rock bottom yet but it sure feels like it, everything I had a "build" I realize now that It was the meds , they helped me to live an illusion of everything was fine, but life this year stripped me of every drop of self steem, self control, postivive thinking, I feel depressed, anxious, It has been one of the worst years of my life and I feelt so touched by your talk I just couldn't stop crying, for now everything feels black and white, but I'm gonna take your advice on treating myself differently I'm always so harsh on myself, thank you

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Good luck with everything! I know you are strong and you can do this. Learn to love yourself, scars and all. It isn't as easy as just deciding to do it, but it is possible if you put in the work. Each day is another opportunity to rebuild your confidence, your self-esteem and your life. Best of luck and let me know if I can help!

  • @emcgivney

    @emcgivney

    7 жыл бұрын

    This happened to me as well. It took me over two years to get my life back after detoxing off of benzos....so sad :(

  • @kong023

    @kong023

    6 жыл бұрын

    I have the same issue when doing things. I felt myself can't do good. I don't know how to break that.

  • @lizwheat1680

    @lizwheat1680

    6 жыл бұрын

    kong023, You need to retrain your brain. That takes time, but you gain a little every day. Stop the negative self talk and be kind to yourself.

  • @soldiergaming2722

    @soldiergaming2722

    5 жыл бұрын

    I hope so badly that you start to feel better. I refuse to take meds for that very reason. And I know with enough time and practice on the positive thoughts you will get better! At least I hope you will! I will be trying too!

  • @bearforceone7295
    @bearforceone72955 жыл бұрын

    What he said @9:05 hits the nail on the head...

  • @louchieamartinez6878
    @louchieamartinez68782 жыл бұрын

    This talk is so relatable. Thank you! ❤

  • @aletarossi-thomas152
    @aletarossi-thomas1524 жыл бұрын

    OMG -- the part about the father being locked out and asking him to help, brought back sooo many memories of this happening to me.

  • @mobk9774
    @mobk97745 жыл бұрын

    I salute you Steven - a thousand-fold. I want to hug you and thank you for sharing your music with the world. I'll play it everyday.

  • @Nike.Crystalia
    @Nike.Crystalia2 жыл бұрын

    This is 2022 and I am still related to this and finally people more aware of mental health and open about it today.

  • @healthfuldave5207
    @healthfuldave52077 жыл бұрын

    Steve, your honesty is brilliant and inspirational.

  • @sskoul
    @sskoul4 жыл бұрын

    Standing Ovation! Brilliant! This guy is a hero!

  • @letsgoBrandon204
    @letsgoBrandon2044 жыл бұрын

    Whoa. Should have guessed it would be a tear-jerker

  • @Atownbirdman1
    @Atownbirdman17 жыл бұрын

    This is how I feel. Thank you so much for this video

  • @chloepeifly
    @chloepeifly4 жыл бұрын

    this made me cry so bad

  • @ilovemusicr3697
    @ilovemusicr36975 жыл бұрын

    This is exactly what I'm going through I'm not alone I hate those panic attacks and no one in my family understands me 😔

  • @SamphanRaruenrom
    @SamphanRaruenrom6 жыл бұрын

    The best talk on self-compassion and how it fix mental problems. I wish more people see this.

  • @deiaraki
    @deiaraki Жыл бұрын

    I began to question the way I talked myself when I realised it would be extremely rude if I talked to my friends the same I did to myself - that itself was very valuable - but the positive self talk only started to come at me recently and it has been working.

  • @user-je7zz6iq1b
    @user-je7zz6iq1b Жыл бұрын

    This Ted talk has my whole heart ❤️

  • @rahulawasthi3668
    @rahulawasthi3668 Жыл бұрын

    I'm left with no words but respect.

  • @jareddietl8779
    @jareddietl8779 Жыл бұрын

    i cried 3 different times throughtout this video

  • @johnny_roots
    @johnny_roots5 жыл бұрын

    Superb talk. Not only due to sharing how he overcame anxiety but also because he dared to be so much vulnerable in front of so many people. That is tremendously empowering. Kudos Bro 👏🏽

  • @hebahmuhammad8607
    @hebahmuhammad86076 жыл бұрын

    Damn I relate to him so much I felt I'm not the only one

  • @daemonka
    @daemonka7 жыл бұрын

    Steven, You are my hero. Must be such a good feeling to know that the kindness you showed yourself, helps others finally see what they need to do to get back up and help themselves. Thank you for taking the risk to show your heart.

  • @Borboleta1212
    @Borboleta12124 жыл бұрын

    Only 5 mins in to this talk and I can relate to this so much, it’s like hearing a story of my own life. When he starts crying I just want to give him a hug and tell him how amazing and courageous he is in sharing his vulnerability to help others . Thank you so much!! I am saving this to my Wellbeing playlist and will rewatch regularly, along with the other things I am doing to retire my anxious brain 🧠...like listening to guided meditations and reading/watching videos b people like Kyle Cease and Dr Joe Dispenza. May the universe bless you Steven Zanella beyond what you could ever imagine ... I wish this for all of us!

  • @maik9138
    @maik91383 ай бұрын

    all you said is like looking In a mirror , thank you for speaking out

  • @cristinepunla419
    @cristinepunla4195 жыл бұрын

    Tnx for this..We are not alone. I felt not alone.

  • @francoindien
    @francoindien4 жыл бұрын

    That guy is BRAVE 👍 I feel happy to see him happy! The parents fights screw up kids lives forever. Love your kids and show them the great parents in you.

  • @SamZeroKG
    @SamZeroKG7 жыл бұрын

    Very touched by your story. I am still waiting the day my anxiety ends. I am still waiting the day that I do not have to mindfully take those pills prescribed by the physiatrist. The battle is so tough, every day is never the same ever since I had my panic attack and anxiety 9 months ago. Insomnia, chest pain, muscle twitching, lonely, depress, intrusive thoughts, doctors chasing, A&E, countless ECG tests, palpitation, dizziness, you name it. But nothing is more depressing than your love ones do not understand how you feel. Thank you for sharing your story and yes, darkness could not overcome darkness. Kindness will. Let's keep moving forward. I am still believing the light is at the end of tunnel.

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for sharing. My advice to be to look inside and see if you can find the source of the anxiety. What is it about what you've experienced that has damaged your self-worth? If you know, begin working on letting go of that pain, that guilt, that inner-anger and begin to heal your relationship with yourself. I've found most of us suffering from anxiety do so because of how we see ourselves. You need to look deep and figure out WHY you see yourself the way you do so you can let go of those reasons and build a new relationship with yourself. Good luck!

  • @markphillip5278
    @markphillip52783 жыл бұрын

    One of the best ted talks on youtube

  • @adityapratapsinghdixit4529
    @adityapratapsinghdixit4529 Жыл бұрын

    I can relate to it so much. That voice in my head that pulls me down constantly, says that i am not as good as smart as others, as normal and as happy as others. Because of this feeling things go bad and feel more bad and my self doubt gets reinforced. But we have to practice being positive, kind to ourselves as we are kind and embracing towards others. Thanks for sharing your experience.

  • @damonmagness4681
    @damonmagness46812 жыл бұрын

    Just tremendous, the best talk on anxiety I’ve ever heard

  • @saedderia7811
    @saedderia78115 жыл бұрын

    WOW!!! I have never in my entire life cried from the start and end of video 😭😭😭, you have really inspired to start trying and say to myself, I can do this, rather than I can't do this. People like me who always had anxiety and always wanted to be alone rather than going out and talking to people, can relate to what you were going through, I know now that I need to start trying and build a new habit of stepping out of my comfort zone and see positivity out of it, not potential failure. You're a legend bro :) Simply amazing!!!

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    5 жыл бұрын

    This is awesome. So glad you are motivated to push yourself. Just remember to do it with patience and love... allow yourself to struggle because that's part of the journey, also. Allow it to happen without judging yourself and keep moving forward. You'll get there. Let me know if I can help! Thanks for watching and best wishes!!

  • @frankito2657
    @frankito26575 жыл бұрын

    This is sensational, i felt every word, i know how you feel, i hate anxiety, but this helped me a lot. You are a special person and keep on spreading your story.

  • @nmhrg
    @nmhrg4 жыл бұрын

    You are one of the most bravest person I have come across. It takes a whole lot to talk to a large group of people. Thats awesome!!!

  • @malky736
    @malky7367 жыл бұрын

    What a beautiful and inspiring talk. The world needs more people like you.

  • @tuckermathew
    @tuckermathew6 жыл бұрын

    I don’t think a TedTalk has ever resonated with me so deeply

  • @yuucchin
    @yuucchin5 жыл бұрын

    I find your method of lessening your anxiety very practical and for once, applicable to me. I have a nephew that I really love like my own son, and all these time I've always anxious, worried and scared that he might grow up like me, and my sister. The scary thought often times kept me from sleeping at night. So hearing your take on "I dont want this to happen" and to actually make that a motivation to wake me up from my own nightmare, I thank you. I want to be a better person so this haunting anxiety won't haunt my nephew.

  • @xCynHooliganx
    @xCynHooliganx4 жыл бұрын

    It's so hard to watch this video and not to cry, feel happy for him and, like an anxious person, try to embrace all the things he said. You go, Steven, thank you for the words!

  • @despicabledavidshort3806
    @despicabledavidshort3806 Жыл бұрын

    Wow!!!! I don't know how you knew every single emotion and thought I've ever had, but you nailed it. I'm actually breathless rn. This popped up on fb so I had to go find you...blown away rn. I think I'm going to listen to you every single day of the rest of my life. Thank you Steven ❤

  • @TammyHewitt21
    @TammyHewitt215 жыл бұрын

    I loved your last few words the most... What if - then a positive thing etc. That's how I want to think from now on.... instead of all the What if - negative things. The negative causes worry, and a positive thought would make me feel happiness, relief, joy and put a smile on my face instead of a frown. Thankyou so much!!!!!

  • @Karinasandra69
    @Karinasandra696 жыл бұрын

    very heartwarming. I hope that my daughter will come to have that state of mind so her suffering is less.

  • @vaidawe1540
    @vaidawe15405 жыл бұрын

    Amazing speech. First time Ted talks brings me into tears.

  • @anthonyhurtado7358
    @anthonyhurtado73587 жыл бұрын

    I honestly can relate to you! I am much older i have lived in fear most of my life along with anxiety and anger. I did come from an abusive family. What you lived is what i am living now. sometimes i dont know where to start with all these emotions running my mind. I know they are my thoughts, my worries thats keeping from growing into happiness.

  • @SteveZanella

    @SteveZanella

    7 жыл бұрын

    Sorry for your struggles. Recognizing that these are just thoughts is a good first step. Thoughts are images that run through your head. You can learn to control and change those thoughts if you focus your attention in the right direction and on the correct things. Learning to rationalize the thoughts as they come in, focusing on new images that change your emotional state and practicing the art of simply witnessing and watching your thoughts can help you learn to separate your identity from your thoughts. You have your thoughts... you are NOT your thoughts. Good luck!

  • @anthonyhurtado7358

    @anthonyhurtado7358

    7 жыл бұрын

    Wow, great advice! it makes lots of sense to just take notice of my thoughts and feelings. i just let my mind run take control sense i thought most of my beliefs and thoughts were accurate for so long that I stopped trying. Thank you Steve!!

  • @julajoys4159
    @julajoys41597 жыл бұрын

    You are soooooo brave!!!! This is soooooo wonderful!!!! I am a newish parent and I have to say that I lived with a parent that worried growing up and here I am worrying that I'll worry with my child too. This is wonderful!!!! You are amazing it is soooooo hard when you can't give yourself that steady confidence that you need to relax or not worry, That steady confidence is love. You found that with your daughter you are the parent you didn't have when you needed it. I know your parents were probably there for you in other times in your life, but the ones from when you were three. You are great!

  • @diannegoode9906
    @diannegoode99065 жыл бұрын

    It takes a lot of courage to stand up and be so open to others.

  • @ibn_alhussein
    @ibn_alhussein5 жыл бұрын

    Although not scientifically packed like other TED talks, this talk resonates with me every time I watch it.. & in societies that are overwhelmed by fake social status, this kind of openness, whether you suffer clinical anxiety or not, hits "deep" ! The amount of honesty & courage that he shows by exposing his vulnerabilities is something that I've never witnessed in any other TED talk ! God bless you, Steve 🙂

  • @amjyt742
    @amjyt7427 жыл бұрын

    This definitely made me cry. Negative thinking is a habit for me still and, I'm blessed to have found this video. God bless him and, his beautiful children.

  • @meenuvimal4407
    @meenuvimal44075 жыл бұрын

    Mr. Steven was living on the stage. Emotional and soulful.

  • @Anonymous-fj2uo
    @Anonymous-fj2uo5 жыл бұрын

    This had me weeping! Your story is relatable in so many ways! Many times we think we are alone in our anxiety bt once I listen to these talks I realise i'm not as alone as I thought.

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