“As a fat man I’m always scared that my old nemesis, gravity, might show up, and if I start to fall that’s 47 people dead”

@burtbrooks7731

2 жыл бұрын

One of the best lines I’ve ever heard 💪

@hermanoshields6924

2 жыл бұрын

@@burtbrooks7731 to funny.

@burtbrooks7731

2 жыл бұрын

@@hermanoshields6924 yes he was 👍👍

@snakeinthegrak8969

2 жыл бұрын

As a normal sized person we're always ready to jump out of the way of our of control boulders.

@PonyBoy1776

2 жыл бұрын

Fluffy also said sumin similar to the effect

I met him on a cruise to the Bahamas, really nice guy. Super funny and down to earth, he told me some jokes and we shared a laugh in the pool. Crazy to think he's gone.

@debprescott751

3 жыл бұрын

So Lucky! I am jealous! ; )

@dschaydschee

2 жыл бұрын

Bs

@eriklehnsherr5784

2 жыл бұрын

Seen him live 3 times. Met him twice. Best dude ever!

@indioloco6600

2 жыл бұрын

@@debprescott751 t.w.i.s!

@ShouldersofGiantsGames

2 жыл бұрын

Plot twist: this was actually just another fat guy named Ralph Edit: Obviously a joke, hope you cherish the memories, but Ralphie would've laughed at this joke

Listening to this in 2020 covid epidemic makes this funnier

@danbartolf2548

4 жыл бұрын

Ralphie predicted the future.

@palmwinecafe1962

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly how I felt during the Spanish flu.

@575MAFIA575

3 жыл бұрын

😂

@wickedclown0636

3 жыл бұрын

I thought so to

@Brogamingm0

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah really!!😆😆

Ralphie May would have been epic covering that rona. RiP big guy

@michaeltrujillo1881

4 жыл бұрын

Agree

@SuperZytoon

4 жыл бұрын

Yep! Loved this man!

@dutchvanderbilt9969

4 жыл бұрын

Damn straight

@ryugo7713

4 жыл бұрын

Claudio Gabrielli ........

@deantries2fish319

4 жыл бұрын

Well this went south quickly. 😳 lol

As a Denver resident, Ralphie was dead on with this bit! Not only is it so freaking big, it's a good 30 minute drive from Denver. May as well be in Kansas. RIP Ralphie May!

@calygreyhound333

3 жыл бұрын

Depending what part of Denver, takes me an hour everytime to get to DIA, I go to Vegas a lot, literally the same amount of time to drive as it is to fly.

@BoomerKeith1

3 жыл бұрын

@@calygreyhound333 It's funny you mentioned that because I was recently having that conversation with my youngest son. He wants to fly to Vegas and I told him that by the time he left early enough to get to the airport, wait to board, fly, wait to get off the plane, wait for luggage and get a ride to the hotel he could have driven. I've done both and you're right. And since I posted that I moved to the SW Metro area and I'm at least an hour from DIA now.

@calygreyhound333

3 жыл бұрын

@@BoomerKeith1 I've driven too and it's taken a good 11 to 12 hours, fly with all the luggage and traffic is about half that but a bigger headache, just all about picking your poison so to speak, but honestly right now would be the best time to go to Vegas if he's interested, it took around 3 hours with flying, traffic and luggage claim, because everything is slow right now and Vegas is amazing on the strip with the lack of people right now and very cheap airfare.

@BoomerKeith1

3 жыл бұрын

@@calygreyhound333 I appreciate the reply because we've started looking at flights. I'm a road trip kind of guy because that's what we did when I was a kid, but my kids aren't nearly as into long drives. You're right, it's a trade off of taking more time or having more headaches. Do you go for work, or just for fun? I was supposed to go back in August but that trip got cancelled. I haven't been since 2018 and I'm ready for a trip back!

@calygreyhound333

3 жыл бұрын

@@BoomerKeith1 I understand where you're coming from, I love a good road trip too but no one is interested anymore. Completely worth looking into right now, gotten an amazing deal for a trip last week(Just got back from it) and it was Chinese New Years and hardly a crowd was there and it one of Vegas's big tourist trap. I mainly go for fun but I love sports gambling and it gives me a reason to keep going back and forgetting reality.

3 years later and still missed as one of my favorite comics of all time! When I’m having a rough day, Ralphie May puts a smile on my face while laughing so hard.

This aged like fine wine

@squarley316

3 жыл бұрын

While Bill Cosby aged like milk

@B0o0o0o0o0o

3 жыл бұрын

In a rich oak barrel

@frasermackenzie7275

2 жыл бұрын

This is dead on explanation of how CoVid-19 / Corona was spread !!!

@connercoy2599

Жыл бұрын

@Duck Were you the one hanging off the Chinese Nationals suitcase? I’m sorry you had to endure that torture.

@psychedelicfright85

Жыл бұрын

@@squarley316 I still watch his comedy, because it's funny

sorely missed. we needed him more than he knew.

@ms-iz9ye

Жыл бұрын

So true.. his comedy always comes in handy when you need a laugh. He’s such an amazing story teller and he throws in jokes that flow with his story. He’s honestly funnier (and a better story teller) than Dave Chappelle IMO.

@psychedelicfright85

Жыл бұрын

He'd have soooo much to work with now.

You can see how he morphed as the years went by. He kept getting better and better and more comfortable in his own skin. Funniest man I ever saw.

I was having a day and decided to look for something to watch, laugh and make me feel better. I happened to come across this comedian I'd never heard before named Ralphie May. Well, I damn near peed myself while watching.. I had not laughed like that in such a long time. watching and listening to Ralphie changed my whole attitude and I couldn't wait to hear more.. I then heard the news that Ralphie had passed. I was shocked. He was so amazing and byfar one of the greatest comedians that I've ever heard. He was a natural. -Wish you were still around Ralphie, thanks for making me feel better. You will be missed. RIP

The coughing and everything is super accurate! I have Chinese neighbors and they are ruthless when it comes down to blowing their nose and coughing!

Hahahahaha "all he did was this." Kills me everytime.

He is a fully grown Eric cartman

@rustyshackleford5516

3 жыл бұрын

Except Ralphie had a heart of gold and helped alot of people..

@haywood12

3 жыл бұрын

@@rustyshackleford5516 Cartman is still a kid, he might change while aging

@ranchurdhimster4955

3 жыл бұрын

He did say gate 88.

@seggsipeter4852

2 жыл бұрын

@@ranchurdhimster4955 and that makes him a nAzI in your book?

@brolymc9532

2 жыл бұрын

Bruh

"I can't speak for the whole China or the territories they occupy," the minorities here get it.

@blujay1608

3 жыл бұрын

@DeadKing66 Since he understood, calling him stupid doesn't make sense. That makes you stupid.

@PhoenixPhantom1337

Жыл бұрын

Today would be "I can't speak for the whole china or the territories they sent baloons at"

sometimes i'm positive that Ralphie is actually a lesbian woman.

@Doug.the.welder-hj6cq

3 жыл бұрын

I wouldn't be talking about looks if I were you jack

@XanderBeckett1

3 жыл бұрын

@@Doug.the.welder-hj6cq And I wouldn't be responding to him if I looked like you.

@m.s.m.8477

3 жыл бұрын

I think your getting him confused with Chaz Bono 😂🤣😂🤣

@georgerobinson408

3 жыл бұрын

I agree

@berserkworkentertainment

3 жыл бұрын

Can y'all let him make a joke💀

I almost can't watch these, its so damned sad and terrible that he's gone.

By far one of the funniest people I’ve ever heard. So sad he had to leave us early, miss you Ralphie!

Miss this dude. R.I.P big homie🙏

Apparently Mr May could see the future.

@rillo806

4 жыл бұрын

Savage Stash i was thinkin the same thing.

@michaeltrujillo1881

4 жыл бұрын

Facts

@robedmund9948

4 жыл бұрын

He could certainly see the future of the all-you-can-eat buffet! Made good use probably knowing they would be gone by March 2020.

@ModeratelyAmused

4 жыл бұрын

@@robedmund9948 Ralphie was gone long before then.

@mthvideos8342

4 жыл бұрын

😂 low key

Ralphie is a comedy legend. I wish I had seen his stand up act live. This guy was one of the best.

@Big_Wash01

6 ай бұрын

I saw him live at the Hard Rock in Biloxi several years ago. He spent an hour and a half talking about how he lost his favorite chair.

You know everyone wishing Ralfie had said “coronaviruses” at 6:47

@MoctezumaSLP.

4 жыл бұрын

Coronawiruus coreona wiruuus

@ajdemetri3681

4 жыл бұрын

He would have had a field day with the coronis.

@bonestza955

4 жыл бұрын

Sars and Bird flu are Corona Viruses. Your wish has been granted.

@bonestza955

4 жыл бұрын

@No Fuckingway Aw, you beat me to it. Fucker.

@sirsmokealotofkush5857

3 жыл бұрын

Slave labour 😂😂😂😂😂

Every time I watch Ralphie I get sad but I’m still laughing my ass off. RIP King

His bit about the Chinese people is funny, given the current circumstances.

@PoisonBannana

4 жыл бұрын

how??

@Deadhound141

4 жыл бұрын

To be fair Main Chinese tourist are usually one of the the worst tourist since forever. Easily top 3. I would not expect less.

@Leon_Msr

4 жыл бұрын

@@PoisonBannana take a wild guess

@PoisonBannana

4 жыл бұрын

@@Leon_Msr unyielding blind racism?

@tylercolby1426

4 жыл бұрын

@@PoisonBannana Its just a social commentary joke. What's the deal? Have no sense of da ilony?

Only just discovered this genius about 4 days ago. Watched numerous videos and laughed hard at each one. I was devastated to hear the big man had passed away at age 45😢. Heaven would be a laugh a minute with this dude up there

Pretty sure Ralph just explained how corona was spread so quickly.

@575MAFIA575

3 жыл бұрын

💯💀

@tek6423

2 жыл бұрын

Yup.

@erock5010

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@snakeinthegrak8969

2 жыл бұрын

? I only heard jokes not lies?

@jahbay

2 жыл бұрын

Truth.....

“Black man is with the golf cart!!! Black man with the golf cart!!!”

@oghash4912

Жыл бұрын

🤣👨🏿‍🔧

The expression that he does when the dude gets hit in the face with cough spit is awesome lol

That part bout them "not covering their mouth when they cough" explains it all. LMAO😂

Omg his bit about SARS killed me

I love his jokes they're not repetitive like other comedians are 🤣😂🤣😂👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I’m glad I got to see Ralphie live. I was ‘shocked to hear that he passed. On another note I’ve read Chinese government actually has literature given to its citizens when traveling abroad about hygiene and etiquette. The other funny part is how China was allowing more foreigners to seek citizenship. Of course a bunch of people got mad about allowing foreigners entry into China. I’m here thinking....yeah..ok

@disturbedpyro4511

2 жыл бұрын

Why were you shocked?! Even Ralphie said it himself! “ if tomorrow you found out I had died of a heart attack, you’d be sad, but you wouldn’t be shocked! That’s what happens to fat dudes, they have heart attacks and die!”😂😂

By far one of the funniest humans to ever walk the earth

Ralphie, thank you so much for the joy you brought all of us, I laugh so hard every time I watch any of your bits; thank you so much for your courage in entertaining all of us,, we only know just a little I'm sure of all that you had to deal with in your world, Bless You, my friend, I hope I can call you that, RIP

Rest in Peace legend, thank you for all the laughs

"Black man with a golf cart, black man with a golf cart!!" 🤣🤣🤣

He is dead on about Denver International Airport, wayyyy to big for where it’s at, have to take a train and a 15 minute walk to get to the baggage claim, and another 20 minute walk and 15 minute bus ride to the rental car dealership. Went on a fly fishing trip and coming from Michigan it was INSANE. And there’s nothing but fields and rolling hills for miles around you can barely make out the mountains and the city of Denver from the airport parking lot😂

@mattpeacock5208

4 жыл бұрын

You should try changing planes in that behemoth! It sucks out loud!

@thepsyc_one4245

4 жыл бұрын

Not lying.

@llchase326

3 жыл бұрын

I thought Houston Airport was huge! Denver is waaayyy worse! Then there's that giant escalator and the superfast train. Good Lord!

@mrbeefy604

3 жыл бұрын

@@llchase326 theres a fucking train in the airport..? As a Canadian this news is absurd, I thought my tiny ass city had a big air port.. this Denver airport sounds the same size as one of the districts here

@rocknroll7065

3 жыл бұрын

I live there and I agree it's huge but it might be necessary considering how busy it is. It far away from downtown but there are also neighborhoods near the airport.

This is the fist I hear this guy do stand up and now I find out he aint there no more...RIP.

@sallyrogers3894

3 жыл бұрын

Right, me too

It's Christmas Day, The late, great RALPHIE MAY just made me laugh my ass off. Oh God I miss him.

Tuberculosis express had me crying 😂🤣

Ralphie will always be a God of comedy. I mean he even predicted Covid.😂😂😂😂😂

@TBustah

7 ай бұрын

He didn’t predict anything: stuff like this is precisely why these diseases keep coming out of China.

One of the best stories I have ever heard

This should be on every commercial about Covid19. . 😂

As a Chinese man. He's dead on. 😆

So sad he is gone. He was so talented.

The throat clearing thing is very accurate. You'd hear it every time you walked down the street in China.

@OneOut1

11 ай бұрын

Aor pollition on China

So many don’t even catch the gems underneath the gems that he be unveiling 😂 Thank you so Much, may your legacy live on forever & a day Mr. May.

Own this DVD and LOVE it!!! God I miss this man

RIP to a friken LEGEND. Thanks Ralphie for the awesomeness you left behind! See you in heaven bud!!

Whenever I am not feeling great I always turn on Ralphie May. Makes me feel better

The best comic ever..... no one can come close to you. Your sun shone bright but fast... rip. The first fluffy guy.

Damn, I wish he were still around. RIP Ralphie. 🙏 A legend comedian. 😂

Ralphie was a very funny man, my son and I enjoyed watching him. He's definitely missed

@meycoe

2 жыл бұрын

For sure, couzin

The way he would make lite of such divisive issues....the way he would make a serious racial issues into something so humorous. He was always amazing! Thank you for sharing your humor with the world Ralphie May

I would have loved to see his reaction to the virus!! So funny 😂 so talented 🤣🤣 rest in big man!!

😂😂😂 mystic may could see the future! This is so relatable today it's unreal!

I’ve heard the bit but never this rendition of it and it’s SO GOOD

The not covering their mouth joke seems more on the nose in 2020 damn

This is all so true as I remember my husband and I fighting from the moment we got off the plane, stopping while you’re riding the walking escalators in between, fighting again to the train, stop to talk to the people in the train, fighting again now to baggage claim and THEN outside trying to figure out how to get to the rental car place, talk to the cab driver, fighting until you get into your rental, silence until you can’t figure out how to get out of the damn airport area so you are screaming now until you find the way to the exit, where is the damn smoke shop! Fun times, fun times.

On point and apparently timeless!

This world needs Ralphie may more than ever. I hope you're up and heaven laughing and watching us make fools of ourselves down here like clowns we miss you big guy

So funny, so honest, so creative. Just brilliant stuff.

@reflectionsoftheday3894

Жыл бұрын

In april 2020, th governor was ordering 15 refrigerated trucks every other week. I said he should have lined them up on the runways at dia to let the tourists know it's a one-way trip for most. They closed down the winter extreme sports in Feb & made everyone leave the ski resorts at once. Thousands were trapped like sardines at dia for over a month. Most planes quit flying. Those who bought season passes never got refunds. this state is corrupt. Last year, they made human fertilizer legal here & they've been doing it for over 6 months now. They got tired of building mass graves State of colora today? They have to cancel most booked events due to more deaths, including sports & concerts. DIA is built over a mass native american cemetery.

Miss this guy so much. Rest in piece Ralphie May

Perhaps Ralphie's Finest Hour,, I can't even guess how many times I've watched this clip, God Love Him, I wish I could thank him for these 11 minutes........

You stay up player, I am sure I will be in your audience with a huge blunt soon enough. Much love.

When I learned that Ralphie was closely associated with Sam Kinison, everything in life seemed to make sense.

@EarthUPC

4 жыл бұрын

Hi, where’d you find the cool number font!?

@adrianhayden7430

3 жыл бұрын

@@EarthUPC Damn I wanna know too

6:55 that's that "A Quiet Place" scream.

I can’t remember the last time I laughed so long, and so loudly with one COMEDIAN. Some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever heard.

I love this man

Ralphie May : premonition of the corona virus!! ;D* love you Ralphie May , wish you were still alive!!

"Dirty, bird flu-ey mutha..." OH MY GOSH 😂😂😂

I wish i could find more "Austintatious" Ralphy May. This special was hilarious. As was RALPHY. R.I.P Big Man. Thanks for the laughs.

I love this guy. He always always makes me laugh

He's so funny, omgoodness 🤣🤣🤣 RIParadise Ralphie 💙🙏💙

Had a similar experience in China while working. The 14hr time change and jet lag greatly affected by reflexes. My translator Traci was scarfing down a bowl of bacon, monkey balls, and rice at 6am. Traci liked to eat and speak at the same time. Thank God there was about 4ft distance from us as a chunk of bacon flew out of her mouth, lobbed like a wiffle ball over the table. I saw it coming, yet couldn't move. The bacon bit struck my lip! She knew what happened from her sudden break in comms, then kept eating. I almost lost it! Good times in China.

@apokolypzejonez22

6 ай бұрын

Hell all the way nah. I can’t even wrap my mind around that lack of care. There’s a word for people like that that starts with an N but I’m not going to go down that road.😂

Prayers Ralphie! Love you forever!

One of the best in the biz! Wish he was still here with us RIP

Damn we need this guy now more than ever.

Didn't even know this guy was gone but I do know he is funny as hell🤘🏽 (rest in Paradise)

I legit just found out he been passed R.I.P you brought tons of laughter in my life ❤️

Talk about an ab workout!! I’ve never laughed so hard in my life🤣🤣

@martincandelaria6419

3 жыл бұрын

Tuberculosis express 😆😆😅🤣 omgash

When he did the China mans reaction and the duck eye 😂😂😂😭😭😭😭

The train story sounded like covid coming to America

@tek6423

2 жыл бұрын

Indeed. I just discovered this guy…..he’s priceless. I just finished harvesting the bok choy in my garden. Seriously. Thought I was gonna bust a gut.

One of the greatest. RIP RALPHIE

His horrified/revolted screams are a guaranteed laugh for me. 😂

We miss ya Ralphie. RIP

This skit just may explain why we are in a pandemic, just saying..... HAHAHAHAHA!

Listening in 2021, RIP my friend

Thank you Ralphie 🙏RIP❤️ for making me laugh after I stupidly watched hours of news before bedtime.

Remember when the whole POINT of comedy was to piss somebody off? RIP RM and comedy too.

@observerfx212

4 жыл бұрын

​@No Fuckingway Of course comedy should be funny, but I just assumed you the reader are smarter than to need such basic explanations. Guess I was wrong. Too bad you totally missed my main point, it's a shame, because it alludes to a rich history in the field - and to something today's comedy has tragically lost, which is the real point of the statement. Maybe instead of aspiring to be a gamma grammar nazi you should try to address the main points being made. If you want to talk with the grownups, and not celebrate your own slow lobotomy of mainstream "entertainment".

@yaboibelua7328

3 жыл бұрын

Observer FX get over yourself, the only point you made was that the objective of comedy was to piss people off.

@observerfx212

3 жыл бұрын

@@yaboibelua7328 It's called a sense of humor. Maybe you should take your own advice.

@yaboibelua7328

3 жыл бұрын

Observer FX bruh what do you think was so humorous about your little rant

@observerfx212

3 жыл бұрын

@@yaboibelua7328 To you? Obviously nothing. It clearly struck a nerve in you, comrade.

OMG - so funny. Jesus must be having a blast with you. RIP you legend!!

@nikkiwilder660

Жыл бұрын

You know it;!

one of the funniest people to do it. rip legend

RIP my friend. You are missed by all.

RIP Ralphie

World needs him. Rest easy

All the big heavy funny guys always leave us way to soon. This guy is so fkn funny RIP big man

Tremendous!

This bit had me dreading flying into Denver the first time I went (mostly the walking), but I guess I just lucked out. The train wasn’t crowded, it took me where I needed to go, I got my bag easily, and I barely had to walk.

This guy the real goat

Miss Ralphy. RIP

He was soooo damn FUNNY!!! ❤️