I keep self-sabotaging and pushing away good people. I need help breaking this pattern.

@dreib5129

4 жыл бұрын

I hope you find a way. 🙏🙂

@nalubowamaureenjoy9456

4 жыл бұрын

Ummmmi think u r fine..many times I think am crazy for not vining wth”good pple “and wen I go out of my way and meet them..I wish I never..sometimes they aren’t as good as they seem

@farmanshaikh6405

3 жыл бұрын

@@nalubowamaureenjoy9456 bollocks...keep trying to justify your behavior....

@moonfreedom8523

3 жыл бұрын

I hope your friends leave for their own sanity.

@stephanier.charles9407

3 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry, as a person who loves another with this disorder it kills me watching it happen that I fee hopeless wondering how much more of it I can take

A support group for ex-partners of bipolar boyfriends or girlfriends need to be formed. I have read many of the comments that others have written and I truly identify with them. There has to mutual understanding when beginning a relationship with someone with bipolar disorder what could be done to prevent the ghosting. It hurts too much.

@alizay2340

6 ай бұрын

I need this like today. I can’t survive, I’m looking for answers anywhere I can there’s no consolation. Just a void

@gerhardvanderwesthuizen2003

5 ай бұрын

It is unreal. The pain and confusion we have to go through. In the last two weeks we were planning our wedding, looking at houses, made love and I got kicked out, locked out and blocked.

@jeremyotten5137

2 ай бұрын

I just randomly got blocked through text and IG as well by the one I was talking to. I’m confused as well. Doesn’t really make enough sense for me. Do you know why yours kicked you out and blocked you? Did you say or do something she didn’t like?

@brookeisloom

Ай бұрын

would very much support forming this -- i'm sure there is one out there that is therapist led? or peer led too - like a message board? i've learned so much these last two years in my experience of beautiful soulmate kind of love to ghosting and a lot of reactiveness that was incredibly harmful. self compassion and compassion for the other too, but that only came after i was able to dig myself out of the hole of pain he caused.

0:54 “the deeper I feel the harder I push away”...that’s so true and when she speaks about being used to be alone.

i have never felt so left by someone in my life. everything was so brilliantly beautiful and the more we grew in love and trust the more he had to hide, the more shame he would feel, until suddenly he was just, gone. i did so much to show him he was safe to be himself. i'll love him always.

@alizay2340

6 ай бұрын

I came to this video searching for answers, trying to understand why the man who worshipped the ground I walked on; made me insignificant in a moment of time. Like what we once thought was our world meant nothing to him when he last spoke to me. He made me feel everything and then just left me there. I’ve been in no contact with him for 5 days. I count every day. I’m blocked every where I try to reach out

@brookeisloom

6 ай бұрын

I really feel for you. i know it feels earth shattering now, and it did to me then as well, but I promise you it will become easier to see exactly what YOU need with a little more room free of this persons needs dominating your world. a relationship of loving compassion and trust is built upon being able to let each other in. repair happens together. it is the hardest thing i've done but, i walked away so that he may heal without harming me. @@alizay2340

@jeremyotten5137

2 ай бұрын

Sorry to hear that you randomly got blocked as well. Just happened to me too. Similar story. Do you know what caused him to block you out? Or did he never say? It makes me wonder if it’s something we do or say that triggers them.

@brookeisloom

Ай бұрын

@@alizay2340 i'm sorry this happened to you. it's a very hard feeling. i'd like to suggest that it's not you, or us, it's shame. letting someone see the fullness of self is very hard for someone with bp. the best we can do as those that love them is take care of ourselves and love them at a distance. with time and reflection, i've realized this person was never a safe person for me and those that are with him rarely know his condition -- he is not upfront with it at all and thus he is living a version of himself that is based on a projection. knowing this fills me with both compassion for him and myself. i am also sitting with much anger that is deserved and important -- there are many ways we are used in these dynamics. there is forgiveness always, coupled with a new understanding that my needs are important and i will put myself first. i hope you are feeling different now

@brookeisloom

Ай бұрын

@@jeremyotten5137 we did end up speaking multiple times between our ending and now. since feb it has been my choice to practice little or no contact. i worked through our rupture in my own therapy but i realized the importance of letting this person go, even when the love was still present. i learned the covert/vulnerable narcissism that existed in his being and that was enough to really slap me in the face with "aha" moments when in retroflection of the past. he also carries a few other mental health things that do not help me feel acknowledged or heard. in the end, i realized i was a pawn in his very elaborate game of life, one which involves great fantasy, switching, masking, and holding. if he does not feel one with is identity, he cannot possibly open to another fully in the truth that i wished to meet him in. his past and current relationships are mostly trauma-bonded, and that tells me more than i need to know. there was much extraction in our dynamic (i felt constantly extracted from). the disappearance initially is more about their shame than you or us -- being seen for who they really are is very very hard for people with bp or bpd; to live in the self-created shame of that witness is even harder.

I've been off and on with somebody suffering from bipolar syndrome 2 for 9 years. I've heard every excuse to push me away, inevitably ending in being "ghosted" (and I've respected it every time, from 1 to 6 months, 7 different times). I've been a victim of every side of this mental illness as a partner without the affliction. I'm not going to say anything about all the things I've tried to do to help her. I am not a saint, to assume as such would be a bold faced lie. But I will say this, if you suffer from bipolar syndrome, there literally is no excuse for not taking your medications as prescribed (dosage and times). If the medications and treatment you are receiving is not helping, you have the choice and responsibility to find what works for you if you choose to heed as such. If you actively let yourself become your illness, you are actively abusing not only yourself, but your partner in a relationship. If you manage yourself as well as you can and you go through an episode (mania, hypomania, or depression), then at that point, it is 100% not your fault. You tried. If you are in a relationship with a person who sincerely loves you and you truly love them, you have to love yourself enough to manage the things in your mind as best as you can. If your partner loves you and is at least aware of your illness, they will try to help you. Otherwise, again, you are absolutely damaging yourself and your significant other. Life is still about choices (especially about choices you can decide on in your best state of mind). Having said all of this, I don't regret a single minute with her. When she is stable, she is an absolute wonder to behold. I don't know for sure if she will ever come around again. Either way, the last 9 years of my life have been beautifully brutal and probably one of the best series of lessons I'll ever learn in life.

@ThelmaRosemusic

3 жыл бұрын

I am going through this right now...and we are only in the first two months...but he has disappeared for two days at the most heightened best parts of our connection. The last time I tracked him down to a doctors office after apparently, his Dad found him crying uncontrollably and forced him to go. He had completely decided I hated him for disappearing and not only was happy but ELATED to find out that I still wanted to be with him. Like my not hating him was half the cure. Then we were magical again, until I spent time with some friends, all the while texting him back and forth so he did not feel neglected. I could sense a little something but I thought I was imagining it. The next day he just disappeared. I have called, texted, emailed, Facebooked etc...and even called his work, where he seems to not have turned up. This has really helped me understand because when he is around we are golden. Several people have suggested other girls etc...but to be honest, no, when we are good we speak we are with each other around the clock, he calls and facetime all the time!! When would he have time for this other woman...and he is genuine, I feel it. And I see how hurtful the accusation of cheating is on him, or the idea that he doesn't want to be with me. He has tried to explain that it becomes big in his head, and together with work, he just falls apart and shuts everyone and everything down. He never mentions Bipolar - but did say depression, but now I feel like perhaps he was feeling ashamed to say it because I know its sounds weird, but even the way that Hannah speaks reminds me of him. Like I would never for a second think Hannah could be someone who ghosts. She is so clear and steadfast in her delivery. Yet.... it's both fascinating and heartbreaking. I think if you are someone who knows you have a history of ghosting you should tell the other person if it gets serious.

@Jennifer-di4nl

3 жыл бұрын

@@ThelmaRosemusic I'm in the same situation. He disappears at the height of our intensity...which leaves me hurt & confused. He talks about coming back when "he straightens his shit out" and we can "start fresh & healthy" and "no way things can work from where he is now". I really love this guy but it's too soon for me to be pushy and really that is not in my nature. It's very confusing for me, any advice? Trying to even debate if it's worth it.

@mueksz

2 жыл бұрын

Nice way to justify codependency. I'm in the same boat now. Did she come back?

@karenwolfe5012

2 жыл бұрын

i am going thru this now..happened last april..but am understanding more and more and i really care about her

@noted_insolence1894

2 жыл бұрын

@@Jennifer-di4nl What ended up happening??? I am in the EXACT situation with my girl right now. Basically 5 months in, and she rapidly declines and says it needs to be over and maybe we can try again after she "fixes herself" and wants to "wait until she's healthy to give herself to me". my heart is broken. I have begged her to let me just stick it out with her through the hard times but she says she doesn't deserve me and will only hurt me. No idea what to do. Did your person come back to you??

This has destroyed all my relationships we just leave and don't know why run run run

Emotional abuse!! That is what it is!!! “Don’t pretend to fix what is broken...you can get really hurt with the shattered pieces”....care for yourself...I am talking from experience...

@Peace4Conciousness

4 жыл бұрын

I don't understand what you mean here

@Peace4Conciousness

4 жыл бұрын

@Thomas Truther Oh, I get it now, thanks!

@saammmiiii

4 жыл бұрын

@Thomas Truther The last sentence is what I'm dealing with now :'(. It hurts so bad!

@MrStevethailand

4 жыл бұрын

​@Thomas Truther Brilliant reply my brother. Everything EXACTLY correct. My 7 month bipolar live in GF left me last week suddenly and ghosted me. Came home to all of her stuff gone with no warning or discussion. The same girl that urged me to get promise rings, constantly told me I was so handsome and she loved me "more." Seven months of trying to help her heal has destroyed me and any confidence I had. I'm starting to understand, thanks to posts like yours, that there is NOTHING I could have done to keep this from happening. I initially minimized the severe mental illness bipolar is, thought with meds things would be fine. But when she realized that alcohol triggered bipolar psychosis episodes in her and tried to quit, I became the "caretaker" (had to lock up the alcohol) the bad guy keeping her from "fun" in her eyes. Anyone in the same misery, please reach out here.

@MrStevethailand

4 жыл бұрын

@Thomas Truther You can't imagine how much that helped me my brother. Please DM me uscrldabber@gmail.com The exact parallels to my story are astonishing. She's bipolar 1 (so dangerous) and has erotomania that made her leave me, same story, after quitting a med and going crazy manic, to some rich dude that has been exploiting her condition for years. He's put her up in a hotel to exploit her and she has no grip on reality. Her manic grandiose makes her think she's a sexy girl having fun and not a prostitute put up in a hotel. There should be a special place in hell for men that abuse and exploit BP sufferers. Now working from home with no control she starts drinking at 10 am. So lonely in the hotel she called me 9 times yesterday, but EXACTLY what you said they only want their confidence boosted so they can go out and destroy their life. Communicating with them makes them worse. Alcohol: again exactly, in the beginning it was fun and we didn't have problems, then, like you said, it always ended in crazy episodes. Homicidal you said, last month she grabbed a knife so hard she got bruised when I took it her from her hands, then ran asking for the gun, saying she wanted to kill herself 50 times. Next day she didn't remember and thought I was the bad guy that bruised her. The repetitive talk when they're in episodes was excruciating to deal with until she came out of psychosis, usually 3-5 hours and she wouldn't remember anything that happened after. Police absolutely. She brought police multiple times to my home for the first times in my life. If I hadn't taken a video of her saying I didn't hurt her when she was not in an episode I likely would have been arrested that day. Would go into psychotic episodes and constantly demand to leave for no reason. Drunk I couldn't give her her keys and she would say give me my keys for hours. She would scream she wants to go to a mental hospital but never really did, she only wanted to "escape." I'm a successful confident man, but how she ghosted me to go to this guy she has erotomania for was the most painful thing anyone I ever dated did to me a 100 times over. Nothing could prepare your for the despair, confusion, loss of all self confidence of being ghosted like this. The manic euphoric times they have with us is what initially draws us to them, but is it even real those exaggerated euphoric feelings for us, or is it just like a hard drug user loving you when they're high? I question now if the love she showed me intensely was real or just someone delusional on drugs (manic BP)? In the end, like you said, it is impossible, how does anyone navigate a relationship where the more you love them they push you away? Anyone I contact now I "evaluate" for the symptoms first. Knowing intimately the symptoms now, I can think of women I dated that must have been bipolar. Loving and living with someone with bipolar 1 for 7 mo was the most emotionally devastating time of my life. The constant lies from her bipolar brain have damaged me, and make it difficult to trust any girl now.

This has wrecked every part of my relationships.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Cortlynn! I am sorry to hear the negative impact 'ghosting' has had on your relationships. It has also affected many of my relationships as well. Do not beat yourself down, we are all learning together. It's not easy to know how to deal with something when you feel so alone in it. Know that you are deserving of love. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah

@nef3329

4 жыл бұрын

I have no self esteem anymore because I’ve been ghosted so many times by alleged friends. I have given up on trying to get to know new people bc they’ll most likely ghost me. And it has caused me to get so much anxiety.

@TheShospitali

4 жыл бұрын

Hell Yeah it has me too

@maiguelmoreno9027

4 жыл бұрын

Excellent Video clip! Forgive me for butting in, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you considered - Honarlett Undocumented Victory (probably on Google)? It is a smashing one off guide for revealing the secret to make your relationship rock solid minus the hard work. Ive heard some great things about it and my m8 finally got amazing success with it.

@thomashassall96

4 жыл бұрын

Join the club

As a friend to someone special who has this is the best thing to do is wait for them to get through it and assure them im not going anywhere

@klou7062

2 жыл бұрын

What if they say the hv lost interest in you. Begging you to leave them alone? 😔

@lacil8895

2 жыл бұрын

It's unfair. Why do they date. The damage caused to others is incredible.

@rainrainlsn

2 жыл бұрын

Lol be my friend

@MarkShiftyMeadeTV

Жыл бұрын

@@klou7062 im going thru that too rn with my girlfriend and I dont know what to do. And we

It's so much easier to be alone than to get rejected once again. For being you.

Great topic! This is definitely something I'm guilty of, but try not to do if I can help it. I used to not care, but it has happened to me so many times that I don't want to mke anyone else feel the way it makes ME feel. Glad I discovered your channel. It's refreshing to find other relatable bipolar youtubers.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi! I love what you said--"I don't want to make anyone else feel the way it makes me feel." It's so true, because I have been ghosted and it really hurts. I try to do the same thing. Thank you so much for sharing! -Hannah

Bipolar with a lifetime of very severe ghosting. I don’t think I’m made for social media, so that’s a big part. But finding healthy ways to approach my shame has really helped me keep in contact with people I care about.

Thank you for this video! I’m learning about my girlfriend’s condition and this is helping me to not take it personal to better support her

Hi, I very relieved to find your video on bi polar and ghosting. It further helped me to put my own situation into some perspective. I recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend of mine after 18 years. He reached out to me and it went from there. For the past three or four months, we have spoken pretty much every day. He even apologized for breaking my heart all those years ago. He is bi polar, and and as we began communicating more and more, I started to remember the emotional hell I went through because of his bi polar. I started to see some signs of it a few weeks ago, and started to feel the fear set in that at any given moment, without notice, he was going to shut me out. I mean, we had even made plans to see one another back north in PA, and at one point I said, “I know you can be flippant at times, so I want to be sure I am not changing plans for nothing”. He said, “I will make sure I am okay when you are here”. It has been two weeks an since I heard from him, and once again, I am an emotional mess because I know he is going through a depressive episode, but I also know I cannot keep sending him messages; I just need to wait until he decides to reach out. But is cutting off communication on our end the right thing to do? I just don’t know, and I now depressed over this, as if there is not enough going in the world at the moment to be depressed about. I do not know where else to go to seek advice. I feel as if I driving my close friends insane... the same friends who were there 18 years ago when he left me an emotional mess.

@Murph_gaming

2 жыл бұрын

You could let him know you care and are there for him but I wouldn't bombard him with messages.

Being bipolar and being rude are not mutually exclusive.

@philj9594

4 жыл бұрын

True, but ghosting in particular is very prevalent in bipolar individuals. It happens because bipolar people often feel like a burden to those around them and that feeling of being a burden can be so overwhelming that when they are suffering from a depressive episode (which can last YEARS in bipolar individuals) ghosting can become a coping mechanism. Bipolar people often feel like people only maintain ties to them out of pity. Also, bipolar individuals typically experience far more rejection in their lives than neurotypicals. Over time, this rejection can transition into being traumatic because it can seem like every single person in your life will hate you in the end. They may become convinced (perhaps even subconsciously) that whoever they love will inevitably end up hating them, so ghosting becomes a defense mechanism. "The worst part of having a mental illness is that people expect you to behave as if you don't."

@callyparks1956

4 жыл бұрын

It's not rude, it's what we felt we had to do at the time. Take it from a girl who's moved cross country twice this year, its uncontrollable when it starts. It's like a fight or flight sense that is natural. Go. Get out. Start over.

@whitefox2316

4 жыл бұрын

Omg fucking preach i literally heard someone say the other day "yeah hes was really nice to me this morning and then just then hes was really rude ..yeah hes being kinda bi-polar" i tried to call her out but i dont think i was heard.😑

@vmine88

3 жыл бұрын

@@philj9594 I hear you, and you've described this existence so eloquently. Maintaining long term relationships is typically listed as one of the top negative dysfunctions when coping with bipolar. It's a catch 22 situation, as a support system is crucial for optimal outcomes. In a perfect world, wouldn't we all love to be loved? That isn't how it always works out, and meds don't always work either. This is not a thing that can necessarily be "cured". It can only, in the best of times, be managed. Blame seems to be a big word being thrown around here. While I don't advocate indulging behavioral issues and a lack of accountability, I'm hard pressed to expect reason for someone who has lost that ability. Imagine losing cognizance of neurotypical behavior. I highly doubt a single one who could function reasonably when this occurs. This is why bipolars often push away. Why would we expect another to be able to handle that when we ourselves are barely capable in times of duress of doing that for our own selves? We can hardly expect another to cope with the roller coaster ride. Yes, it is a burden. To everyone. It's tiresome and draining and yes, I hate it. It takes all my energy from me. I have nothing left to give. So there you go, feel it and live it, it freaking sucks.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

@@callyparks1956 "I can't help it" makes it worse though.

my GF has done this to me and blames the reason on a petty disagreement....i've had enough of this shit. I suffer from extreme anxiety, depression, PTSD, suffered sexual & physical abuse from my father as a child, was into hard drugs to try to take away the pain as a troubled youth, i have many times felt like my life was not worth living, thought abt suicide, the works, but i would NEVER in my life push my loved one's away. It's like all these "Ghosts" think it's acceptable to do this, even though they know it's unacceptable behaviour in MOST relationships, but alas they do it anyway. Guess what, next time she tries to come back, she'll find that she is now a very lonely ghost, who will likely resume her premiscuous sexual behaviour with the next 'new exciting' person, once she gets back to her manic self again. I feel sorry for these folks, but to some extent they are Allowing their condition to control, own and define them. Bipolar can be devastating for partner's who get picked up and discarded like a toy by these folks. Perhaps they should consider being alone. Sorry, but i've been through enough of this crap to be able to withstand a life of complete chaos and uncertainty from one day to the next. I will not ever date anybody w/ this illness ever again. It's detrimental to my own mental health which is already pretty trashed.

@allanking508

3 жыл бұрын

Spot on. Same here. 👍

@stephanier.charles9407

3 жыл бұрын

Omg I feel your anger and it has been so hard! I’m hurt and to make things worse they keep saying they wanna be alone and don’t want anyone and they even reflect this. I’m alone with my children as he goes through his manic episodes trying to make himself happy at bars and with others. I’m tired of it that I can’t stand it anymore. I didn’t do anything wrong and yet I’m blamed for cheating when I’m pregnant I’m so sorry

@BDSandM

Жыл бұрын

I don't know if you are anymore, but you were really hurting. I hope you found inner peace since then.

@aaliyahjohnson8274

Жыл бұрын

I’m experiencing all that you mentioned and my bipolar bf knows these things and still will put me through many emotional turmoils I wonder if they really know the damages they caused upon us🥹

​ Thomas Truther Brilliant reply my brother. Everything EXACTLY correct. My 7 month bipolar live in GF left me last week suddenly and ghosted me. Came home to all of her stuff gone with no warning or discussion. The same girl that urged me to get promise rings, constantly told me I was so handsome and she loved me "more." Seven months of trying to help her heal has destroyed me and any confidence I had. I'm starting to understand, thanks to posts like yours, that there is NOTHING I could have done to keep this from happening. I initially minimized the severe mental illness bipolar is, thought with meds things would be fine. But when she realized that alcohol triggered bipolar psychosis episodes in her and tried to quit, I became the "caretaker" (had to lock up the alcohol) the bad guy keeping her from "fun" in her eyes. Anyone in the same misery, please reach out here.

Omg. I discovered your channel around the start of the year because I was being ghosted by my bipolar (treated) girlfriend at the time, but this video hadn't yet been produced. I was absolutely dying during this ghosting period. I missed her so badly and I couldn't focus on my work. I cried for the first time in about 6 years. We met up 4 days into the ghosting where she broke up with me, but then we got back together about 10 days after that. But then she started ghosting me again last week and has broken it off again. This video gives me confidence that she'll be back. In all fairness she DID tell me that she had a relationship of 6-years where she broke up with the guy several times until it eventually wore him down and he left.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi I am sorry to hear that you have struggled like this. Remember that your mental health is important as well. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah

I appreciate this information that you've given me because my wife has been ghosting for years so thank you for the understanding and keep up the good work of giving information to others who need it as well well who think they're going crazy as well because of all this ghosting thank you

Sometimes it becomes such a burden to even send a text message. The low states feel like the world is pressing down on me and that i can barely do anything, let alone interact with people, so I come off as cold and unresponsive. The thing is, I dont even recognize that im ghosting someone. I feel like they dont even care about me to begin with so i dont reach out... its definitely self sabotaging behavior. Its the literal worst, and I've lost relationships from it.

@Nmouttasim

Жыл бұрын

Yes that’s the sad thing too sensitive sometimes looks opposite. What I learned the hard way after losing alot is force yourself talk to a trusted person when everything is foggy and walk alot. And just have something to believe in whether religion or meditation I swear by time everything will be close to normal, and when you are bored of Normal and routine remember it’s an episode and be patient as possible as you can and force force yourself and don’t push away people you need them more than they need you and more than you think.

Hi Heather, i don't know if you'll see this but i just wanted to take a second to let you know how great it is to see the honesty on your part and acknowledging that it hurts other people. That takes a lot of courage to confess but it's nice to hear for those of us who have gone through this.

Good for you for realizing how hurtful it is. It’s so strange that apparently in part because you have deep feelings you must therefore hurt the one you love.

I best could equate my 7 months living with my bipolar GF with meth addicts I knew. Crazy high energy, rapid speech, can't sleep, delusional, grandiose, hyper sexual, restless, impulsive, reckless, moody. And the depressive stage is like a meth addict in withdrawal--nothing can make them happy and totally nonsexual. I love and and have immense compassion for those afflicted with this illness, but would anyone start a relationship with a meth addict? Trying to love someone with bipolar means you will sacrifice much happiness in your life in your constant effort to keep your partner "sane." And even then, like stated in this thread, ghost you suddenly after 32 years of marriage. Leaving and understanding the abuse I suffered from my BP GF has been difficult. But us victims need to stop accepting their behavior with sympathy for their illness and understand bipolar can make them not care if they hurt someone, especially someone that has shown them "too much" love, as their illness sees it, as Hannah stated. So they don't feel the same compassion and pain that non BP people feel when they hurt someone. I've seen the coldness in my ex GF's eyes. And ultimately is the "love" we feel from them, at times of manic, real, or the same love someone on drugs would show for you? I thought she really loved me, but now I I think it was all a delusion on my part believing that somewhere in her confused mind she could understand love, or is it that just the manic hyper sexual that makes her love anyone around her? @Hannah would you please respond from your perspective?

@ren1819

3 жыл бұрын

I'm going through exactly this... bipolar relation with meth use. I know the moments when she pushes me away and every little thing I do like sit there and do nothing gets to her. At first I thought I was at fault and tried to talk about it... but she would up right leave and come back in a few days... ghosting me till she would either respond with a "leave me a alone mother!" Or she would come back. There are days when she is tolerable... days when she is clingy... days that she is nasty... and days where she is just out of it. I want to help... we talk and she says to leave her be. Just know how far she pushed me I'll still be waiting for her to come back home... argh! I love her...

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

You're so right that they don't feel compassion the way NT people do. When I dumped my non-bipolar ex because I fell out of love with him, I did it early (3 months), in person, and with praise for how so very good he was to me. I didn't ghost, and I cried for six months about hurting him. These bipolar people do not shed a tear when they ghost. Read this entire thread. None of them cried about it.

@MrStevethailand

Жыл бұрын

@@hoodaticus Thank you for your honesty, but we live in a country/world where few can find anyone to love them, you had someone, but your mental condition made you "restless" for someone "better." Sorry for your mental condition that makes you reject love, but I know you have no control over it. All love to you...

@patriciamaesolon6410

3 ай бұрын

My bipolar ldr bf too,just ghosted me :( and it hurt me

I have a ton of social anxiety. For me there has been no breaking of this pattern, and in fact, has worsened over time. I'm sorry to report that even after decades of many types of therapies and meds, I am still isolated. It's the only thing that truly feels safe for me. I find people and contact with them to be a source of pain for me. Naturally, I do what I can to avoid all pain. I'm only human like anyone else here. I wish I could say there is a better outcome. I only have one person I trust, but if I ever end up completely alone, undoubtedly, that existence will remain the same. It's pretty grim, but I try to make the best of it.

I have to admit I have been on the end of ghosting myself and it really does hurt. But what would suck the most would be the feeling of dread, suffocation, and depression on a daily basis which would eventually lead to pushing away your friends. That sounds like hell. Thanks for opening up my eyes to this. This is something I’m really going to take into account next time. My reaction to being Ghosted last time was not the best, and hopefully next time knowing the above could help me save a future friendship. I do want to put this out into the universe though. If anyone has Ghosted me (Past or Future), and it's mainly for those reasons above. You don't need to explain yourself to me at all I will be more than happy to welcome you back with open arms when you are ready to talk. I don't care if it takes 10 years. The door will always be open.

I absolutely love your makeup! I know all too well about ghosting or taking time for myself. Unfortunately, it's mainly with parts of my closest family members...I seem to always let them trigger something in me that causes a lot of anger and rage. I know this is something I must retrain in myself. But time away is much needed!! I think they do the exact same thing to me...so when both parties are responding/reacting in the same way, it can get a bit toxic...unless we all take the time to regroup ourselves.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Bonnie! First off thank you for the compliment, I love playing around with my makeup! I totally relate to you. I have ghosted my close family and friends which turns into a miscommunication cluster mess! Time away and to ourselves is very important. It is great you are self-aware, that is so essential to living with bipolar disorder. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah

Recently diagnosed with Psychological Trauma after my ex with (undisclosed, decidedly untreated) BPII abruptly left, cutting me out completely. Its been over a year and my mind still defaults to the painful neural pathway created in that moment of immense loss; very much like a death. I have found ways to remain compassionate for this person who struggles and is in pain herself. Thankfully there is no shortage of information online to help me understand her and her actions. There is an element of release in knowing how all of this works, so thank you for making a positive contribution to my well-being. That said, and I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s true: I barely survived and would never wish the kind of sustained psychological pain I have experienced on anyone else.

@lisaariottiart

3 жыл бұрын

I feel you. Fell in love with a person who did this to me over and over again. 🥺 They blame shifted the ghosting onto me as well. He would violently explode over nothing in public or private. I would try to calm him down and it would only het worse. He would project rage and hate of the world onto me. So I would stay away for my safety and sanity then he would call me back into his life and act remorseful. After two years back and forth like this he recently ended the relationship just as we seemed to be getting closer. He raged over the phone with a violent explosion of hate and vitriol because he didn't like that I asked if he could plan dates with me instead of last minute arrangements. This request ended in him telling me to go away and destroy someone else's life. W t f? 🤷🏼‍♀️😳 He then proceeded to slam the phone down , block me and ghost me for the past 2 months now. Im done. I've closed down my heart to this person already too much damage and drama from a grown boy/man. Im pretty sure he knew he was bi- polar but would not admit it. He would swing violently and project hate onto people, his ex wife , the president , me . In the end he called me Autistic 🤷🏼‍♀️. He is a top scientist who actually studies autism. Because he was charming, handsome and smart I put up with his antics for way too long thinking he would change or realize he needed help. Nope. Pretty sure he was cheating on me as bi- polar people can be hyper- sexual when they go on of a bender tuff to prove ... just a gut feeling and he had multiple phones always face down. So now I have nightmares and start crying at the drop of a hat when Im reminded of him. I also freeze up when Men try and talk to me or date me. I don't trust any men at the moment the more successful the less I trust them. After startling mood swings late at night. Sleepless nights filled with rage and fits of random abandonment coupled with gaslighting. Im done. I probably have PTSD from this experience. But at least I got out in one piece. What an awful person, awful Disease. How can a grown Man work a 80 hour VP position in science and academia but then have zero contro not to abuse a women behind closed doors?? I find it really hard to have any sympathy for bi-polar. I think my mom had it which made me able to tolerate his behavior for more than a minute. But for person to have no self control in some areas but not others just seems odd. All in all --- the experience scared and scarred me . I'm Done with relationships for a while. Too many unstable people out there hiding behind their representatives. No thanks... It feels lonely at time but Im healthy and I feel good not worrying about the next battle.

@BowerbirdRed

Жыл бұрын

I wish peace for you, Nicholas. I hope things are better now.

You just cleared up an enigma with my girlfriend. Thank you

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Eric! Hope I helped! Thanks! -Hannah

I have bipolar and actually I'm what people would call in a manic state at this very moment. However, I've never ghosted anyone and was the one ghosted by my partner of 19 years. I'm also being ghosted by certain friends at this very moment. I'm craving human connection and yes there are people whom have been there for me today. Now though I am alone and am battling with an energy so intense and expansive that I can't quite grasp an appropriate outlet to vent my steam. So here I am venting my mind here and now. I'm proud of my strength but by god I feel pretty alone right now. Took some sedation but it hasn't kicked in yet. Anyone can judge me but today I have held my explosive energy together. I am me, I just want to be loved like everyone else. I know people do love me but the one that I thought loved me the most almost killed me by abandoning me and throwing me under the bus. Oversharing, possibly but I need to let it out. Also just randomly paragraphed a little so we're not dealing with a massive wall of text. Forgive any mistakes.

@Nmouttasim

Жыл бұрын

You need to let go of the hurt and disappointment to feel love again. You need to force yourself this worked for me magically and you need a routine.

@papertiger9845

6 ай бұрын

I have bp2 n Ive been ghosted and been fine with it, ive ghosted ppl and been fine with it, ive been ghosted and not been fine with it. It all depends on how the ghosting goes just like everything in life, its circumstantial. Anyone ive ghosted, the girls just werent the type I’d ever date after theyve revealed something or I just dont like their energy. A lotta women, this will make very angry and/or psychotic, meaning I made the right choice, further validating my ghosting of them.

Great video! I was diagnosed with having Bipolar Disorder 2, at the age of 51. I didn’t know “ghosting” was a real thing. I have been guilty of this behavior time and time again, without consciously realizing why... For example, in the past, I would go weeks, maybe months, with little or no contact to the outside world. I would go to work etc but, somehow I’d find myself retreating into my own little world. At this point in my life, I try to make sure to “check in” with family and friends (even when I don’t feel like it.) People without Bipolar Disorder do not necessarily understand ghosting 😟 And that’s ok. I keep telling myself “It’s ok to not be ok...but it’s not ok to shut people out.” This is my humble opinion 😎

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Diana! It sounds like many of us living with bipolar have done ghosted. Self-awareness is huge when it comes to these types of behaviors. I think it's great the attitude you have taken on it, "it's ok to not be ok...but it's not ok to shut people out"-that is brilliant. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah

@dianejaramillo-gregory5689

5 жыл бұрын

💕🙏🏼🙃🌎😍

I really wish for more videos...I like you Hana .And I'm jealous of how much you understand yourself,so thanks for helping us to understand our self.

This was enormously helpful.

Thanks so much.For talking about this. Yes, Ifeel deeply. Yes, I ghost. 6.40 Am Tuesday 22nd.Great thought to start the day with. Powerful insight.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Pete! I am so happy you can relate and it started out your day with a positive mindset. Thank you for commenting! -Hannah

This topic was so right on with what I have dealt with.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi! So happy you can relate. Thank you! -Hannah

Hannah thank you for all your videos ❤

Thank you for this video. My bf has ghosted me and has said it’s not about me. Your explanation of what it feels like helps me so much with the sadness I’m feeling❤️

@noted_insolence1894

2 жыл бұрын

Hey just wondering how things are going now. Did she return to you?? Girl I have been dating for 5 months basically just ended things after starting (what I believe is) an episode. Basically just saying she can't take it anymore and she doesn't deserve me, and things will be different when she gets better but she has to leave. I begged her to let me stay by her side through this, but she won't let me. Idk what to do other than walk away and hope she realizes how much I love her

@strnglhld

2 жыл бұрын

@@noted_insolence1894 yeah you gotta walk away

@Nmouttasim

Жыл бұрын

Give them space they’ll comeback and when they do.. just tell them you’ve missed them

I just do this on a low episode. I see it as protecting friends from me dragging them down to my level. Plus in all honesty I can’t deal with feeling suffocated whilst in the low and just want to be left on my own. It’s easier that way. So glad this is a common thing ^_^

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Claire! I can totally relate to this-when we are feeling depressed the pressure to appear "okay" can be exhausting which is a part of the reason why we 'ghost' another person. I agree, it is not done with malicious intent but its good for us to be aware of what it does to others. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah

@heathercarpenter3628

5 жыл бұрын

How long do your low episodes last? Currently experiencing this with a friend of mine.

I think it's a maturity thing. Also finding the right cocktail of meds and living a healthy lifestyle. I think anyone who feels overwhelmed and don't know how to be direct with their emotions will close off, that isn't mutual to us with bipolar disorder. I've never ghosted anyone! Someone ghosted me and it was a horrific experience. Be the change you want to see in the world. I will say that it's natural for me to withdraw so that I can APPROPRIATELY respond to my loved ones after I have that time to myself. I haven't been in a relationship since my diagnosis, but I've done a LOT of internal work to stay healthy and open so that my story can help others, and will eventually lead me to the right life partner.

Yes, in our first year together, sometimes he would just disappear. Hours. Days. Then show up on my doorstep looking worn out. I didn't know what was going on but I did know that he really loved me. He couldn't explain what or why or what happened. He just needed things to be good like they were before. Eventually, this behavior stopped and he would stay with me when the anxiety and delusions would flood him and then I could see what he was trying to hide from me. I loved him right thru it. As time went on, he trusted me with more and more of the problem - hoping beyond hope that I could help. And I tried. But I couldn't do it alone and no one would help me. We both had hope for a while. And he bloomed with humility and self-awareness and authenticity like I've never seen in anyone before or since. How I wish those who were actually supposed to help would have actually done so. 😢💔

@ThelmaRosemusic

3 жыл бұрын

Jennifer, I am hoping this is what happens. But sitting here waiting for him again, only makes me sick too, but I wish I had your strength!!

@BowerbirdRed

Жыл бұрын

How is everything now, Jennifer? I'd love to know.

I will never again be involved in a relationship with someone with bi-polar after being with someone for years who constantly disappeared and then finally just ghosted and I haven't heard from since then. Anyone who's been through a long term relationship filled with weeks and months of wondering what's going on with the other person knows it's fucking hell.

@maureen9830

2 жыл бұрын

Never easy on our part...they disappear and before we know it they are woh someone else, if it won't work they will come back and leave again. Don't worry they are rotting inside. They're are hurting more and us...

I am so grateful to find this! My ex left 4 years ago while we were between apartments (he had said it was easier to live together) and I haven't moved on and refuse to, which surprisingly few people appreciate or even believe me. I know he did it because of his mental health issues and I believe bipolar is one of them (gambling, criminality, etc.) being the rest. Trying to understand the intersection between criminality and bipolar because I refuse to believe he is "just a criminal." Not a lot of people I can talk to about this stuff and very isolating to say the least, which is why I'm so grateful to have found this. I think he is paranoid, hasn't been talking to his own friends as much (always a cycle but way more since the breakup) and I am going to try to track him down, which requires in person. I am sharing half expecting people to tell me I'm a crazy idiot, but I'm not.

Im dating a guy and he has bipolar. He dont want to go to doctor for help but we can see all the signs or symptoms. It’s really hard since we’re on LDR and I feel like I’m not helping him physically. He always cut me of on his life sometimes a week or sometimes a month. I’m trying my best to support him and love him but sometimes I feel like I he cant even see my worth and I feel unloved. He gets mad easily and sometimes he wake up in the morning that he dont want to talk to me. I feel so sad. I really want to help him cos I love him so much.

What's your advice for dealing with this when a bipolar loved one stops reciprocating and responding? The one sided conversation is frustrating and painful but I also know that they may view a retreat on the other person's part as confirmation of the negative self talk/ruminations already dominating their mind. A long term relationship of many years, going well up until they stopped responding - it doesn't feel like something to walk away from especially when you know that they fundamentally are not doing well and you love them. There are just so many bad feeling associated with being the only active responsive partner. So then there is self care to consider. I don't get why there would be no warning. It would have been fine to hear "I'm shutting down now" or "I'm overwhelmed. You may not hear from me in awhile. Know that I still care about you a lot." That would be good enough. Or maybe a one word message agreed upon ahead of time like the safe word that people have in BDSM so your partner knows you are withdrawing.

@allanking508

3 жыл бұрын

Some just use that as an excuse

@mnkybling

3 жыл бұрын

Agreed with on the "heads up/warning" notice, however, I have also been told that it is not always realized when these episodes set in but that is where the awareness/self-awareness factor comes into play especially once a discussion with the inflicting loved one has occurred on the subject. I feel that if it's a relationship (of any kind) is worth the while then some kind of effort on the BPD diagnosed individual should be given, otherwise the message sent is not expressing anything positive worth the while. At some point an assumable place of self-respect has to be considered for the sanity and wellness of the non-BPD person dealing with the infliction of abuse and negative message these behavioral traits imply.....

@Rosemary33399

8 ай бұрын

They might not say anything or know how to explain what’s going on with them during a shut down because there’s too much shame. I know it’s a simple thing to just mention “I need some time to myself I’m feeling overwhelmed but I love you”, I know, trust me. But just remember in those times, for your own understanding, that the person is immensely suffering with this shame, and emotions that strong, similar to drugs, will completely skew the way one perceives reality, for everyone, but especially with mental illness and trauma. It is a survival response, fight, flight, or freeze. This is freeze. In the brain, the trauma causing this shame of themselves within them was brought up by some sort of trigger-for a lot of people it’s just getting close or intimate and emotionally vulnerable with someone- and when that trigger presents itself, it causes the survival freeze response. I know it may sound silly when you haven’t experienced it, but suddenly even ONE simple text, ONE WORD, can feel dangerous to that person, and cause so much anxiety and stress, even while they’re thinking they should answer, that their body just shuts down tolerance to this situation and freeze or flight kicks in. The survival response is an altered state of mind. You won’t be able to rationalize with it from a calm state of mind, and it won’t make sense to you if you’re not chronically in a survival state.

Finally all alone. I realize I need to start taking this seriously. You really can push EVERYONE away and no one is an island

I was with a bipolar person ..and i didn’t know it at that time ...it was really really hurtful and it was a unique experience.I knew something was wrong beacause in the past I have been rejected by some and I myself rejected some other persons ...this was not the same I knew something wasn’t going on well there ...I felt all a the passion he had for me and I felt all the rejection he was putting on me like both were real ...I was very in love with that person and I knew he was in love with me I could always feel it even when he was pushing me away ..now I know..though it was an experience so hurtful but at the same time so exciting.I will never forget this ...

@annamckeever109

3 жыл бұрын

how did it end?

Wow. I didn't know that's part of my illness. Tnx, Hanna.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Tanja! I didn't know either until I started getting involved with more people in the community, and we had the "I do that too!" moments! I think everyone does it but due to our extremes we are really prone to ghosting more often and more extreme than others. We are all learning together! Thank you for commenting! -Hannah

@southernplayero3940

5 жыл бұрын

Thanks . I didn't know there was a name for it . I go thru that a lot , but didn't know it was part of being bipolar .

It’s one thing to be diagnosed with a “disorder” ~ it’s quite another to become your diagnosis or disorder and then use that as an excuse consistently for really beyond horrible and inexcusable behavior!!! Having been diagnosed with bipolar is by NO MEANS a justifiable reason that makes ghosting someone “OK”!!!! Ghosting hurts the hearts of everyone that has ever been ghosted and it’s NOT OK!!!!

@marycatherinelamar2635

3 жыл бұрын

I saw your comment and recognized some of my own sentiments in it. I just got ghosted by a bipolar friend. It took me a while to figure out that her BD might have something to do with why she ghosted me. And I'll tell you: I didn't deserve it, and it HURTS LIKE HELL. It hurts so much I feel like I have been punched in the stomach twenty times with a high-speed bowling ball. I have been unable to concentrate and I feel so confused. And of course I want to be compassionate, but my experience matters, too. This kind of behavior causes harm to other people, and the relational fallout of BD is just as much a part of the illness as the rest of it.

Thank you so much for this!

I love this video Hannah. I am on my own as well. Sometimes I walk away but I'm trying to find a serious relationship with a woman. I believe one day I'll meet the right lady who will stay with me through thick & thin. I subscribed to your channel. Also I'm gonna start teaching a few guitar students next month part time for extra money because I'm on a fixed income. That'll give me a part time job that I love

I have never heard about ghosting and it seems to fit on my behaviour every time that hapend. But it's not clear WHY this hapend and HOW I can deal with.

I have a question. So I recognize the ghosting with my girlfriend. At first I didnt know it was a part of her bipolar illness. It first started with an evening, then 1 day, then 3 days and then 4 days. Now she hasnt talked to me for 9 days, are these longer periods of time normal? I have never had a fight or hurt her so I dont understand it, I always supported her.

@gerriserenity2726

4 жыл бұрын

Unfortunately in my experience, yes it is. I have a friend who is bipolar and we used to talk on the phone 3 times a week. As of recently she has had an isolation and ghosting episode. I haven't spoken to her in 2 in a half moving into 3 weeks now. As her friend I had to have a come to Jesus moment with myself. I've known her for 20 years and yes she's done this before but this time it was different for me. Yes it sucks that someone you care about is going a terrible time but at the end of the day you are a person with feelings too. At some point you also have to protect yourself, your feelings, your energy and your emotions. In my case choose to protect myself and not talk her. In the past her ghosting would scare and worry me to no end effecting my mental health. You have to choose you and your peace of mind at some point. I hope this helps...

So what do I do when someone I'm with and has bipolar and these symptoms. My head goes to movie tropes like I need to double down and go see them because they are down. Is that good or should I just give space? How do I know if they aren't just genuinely losing interest.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi! It is difficult to decipher what someone is really thinking when going through lows and highs. I would suggest being open with them and asking if its better to give space or do they want your support. Sending them links to blogs, advocates on social media, and inspirational quotes might help. It's support from a distance. If they are not responsive over time I would move forward. Your mental health is important as well. Hope this helps. Thank you. -Hannah

I force myself to communicate when I don't want to, but it's very negative for me sometimes, especially in a low state....you get out and interact, then find its too hard to even talk. It's just so hard to communicate or even want to...and then I get that special kind of being a dick when I am around people some times. I just get so irritated and I have no idea why.

I looked this up because this just happened to me. Im in a 2 years relationship with an amazing women who suffers from bipolar dissorder. Everything was amazing, no major problems, she, eventually, started to notice that i trully love her and care for her. We had an amazing weekend, then, monday comes; we were chatting, like every other day, and suddendly, radio silence for 2 hours. After that she came back EXTREMELY hostile and told me she wanted to break up. She gave me every reason imaginable, most of them didnt make sense but after hours of this, she calmed down, told me she remembered why she love me and she calmed down and was like nothing happened. Ok, everything fine i guess. Thuesday comes and everything is normal until, she told me she didnt felt good, she had a very bad crisis the night before and she was going to leave the phone for some days. I told her its cool, that im gonna wait for her. Yesterday i noticed that at first she turned off the phone, but then blocked me! I write to her mom and she also ignored me for 2 days until today, finally, she (her mom) told me, in a very cold way that she was ok but wanted to be at peace. Today, after 3 days of waiting (i have generalized ansiety btw) i sent her a sms telling her that i hope shes ok, because i dont want her to believe that dont care she is not around, but at the same time i dont know if i should go to see her, call her or just leave her alone for the time being. I have never felt so bad in my life, i dont know what to do, i feel like, no matter what i do, its going to be for the worst; she didnt break up neither, she just, ghosted me but i cant just go and see her because she suffers very very bad episodes and i may trigger one if she's not okay. I dont want to lose her, cuz shes amazing and i legit love her, but i dont know what to do and i feel horrible, specially because it was so fast, and nothing bad happened! No arguing, no fighting, all the contrary, we were so happy and, suddendly, this ...

@givingpresence

Жыл бұрын

I am in a similar situation

@fernandonavia8804

Жыл бұрын

@@givingpresence i hope you're doing great and everything will be fine

@coldbeing5420

9 ай бұрын

What happened in the last 8 months? I'm in a similar situation, had a great weekend, she wanted to hang the next day and then when I asked what time she wanted me to come over, she never replied. I saw she was online playing video games throughout the week so I messaged her that I haven't heard from her inawhile and that I hope things are okay. She told me everything is great! and I told her that's great, we should facetime tonight and she never messaged me back. It's been a week of this and it left me so confused whether or not she doesn't want to be in a relationship or it's her bipolar

Thank you very much for making this video , I met a girl that I really liked 2 years ago and she really like me back I seriously thought she was the one and one day out of no where she sends me a text saying I hope u find someone good whoever I date is gonna be lucky etc…anyways she ghosted me when I tried to contact and text her it was out of no where , she did tell me she was bipolar so now I’m understanding what she was going threw

It's abuse. After worst kind of ghosting and gaslighting in the last phase of relationship (these are manipulation tactics) I found out she ended up married with a gay friend of her who wants greencard.(she told me he's her ex and they decided to be together again) Whole family is enabling her possibly they're getting paid. It was a long distance relationship and I lost my mental health now, I have C-PTSD.

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi! I am so sorry to hear you went through this experience. I agree, ghosting can be extreme. It seems more like gaslighting which I have written about before on my blog at HealthyPlace "I'm Bipolar Too." I encourage you to check it out. It sounds like she has a different intention when it comes to relationships. Know it is not your fault and take care of yourself. Thank you for being so open. People can relate to this problem. -Hannah

@millylee1793

4 жыл бұрын

Deniz Kasap Enabling families are the worst and it disgusts me

@umay1571

4 жыл бұрын

hey Deniz, are you Turkish?

@darthnoidus

4 жыл бұрын

In your case, yes. But not everytime.

Hannah. Please Help As a lady dating a guy who’s Bipolar, this can be a bit confusing. I landed here because he’s actually going through an episode now. We’ve dated for 2 beautiful years, a healthy loving relationship..... But before he took to solitude and hiding he sent me a break up text. Saying our paths are different. That took me by surprise. I’m still not sure if he means it and this uncertainty is killing me....😫😫😫😫 I’ve been told that during his last episode he ghosted his then girlfriend and then got back together after things returned to normalcy. I am afraid of banking on that just in case things don’t turn out positive 😰😰😰

Goddamn, your videos explained some things to me. A girl I was talking to recently abruptly ended things, after we spent hours every day on the phone and in person, had the most amazing chemistry, etc. One day, after a particularly good date, she just broke it off. We talked some more, and she told me about the self harm, the meds she was on for the last 13 years, her dads alcoholism, etc. She didn't mention a bipolar diagnosis, but it seems pretty obvious from her story. I think I'll be asking about those things from the start from now on. That woman really managed to mess with my head, even in the very short time I've known her. She could really LISTEN, in addition to being incredibly smart, its hard to describe. Never felt that way talking to anyone. Honestly, at this point I'm thankful to her for breaking it off. Getting involved with someone like this sounds like something I couldn't bear long term, I'm not nearly strong enough to deal with it all.

This is happening to me right now. I have known a guy for almost 3 years off and on. He has done this before. Recently I noticed him becoming physically more self conscious around me at times. I told him I love him and now he is gone. And it's really perturbed me. I worry about him. I miss him. I'm trying to keep myself busy but my thoughts keep drifting and I cry. I hope he comes back. I don't want to pressure him. I feel very guilty for overwhelming him.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

I'm betting he never came back.

@Concreteowl

Жыл бұрын

@@hoodaticus no he came back offered me friends with very occasional benefits. Acted very oddly and then vanished again. I sent him a Christmas message which he responded to very casually but that so far is that. I still half expect him to turn up and mess with my heart and head again. I've only ever been as attracted to a person once before. He didn't want me either. I guess I have a type.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

@@Concreteowl we're the same exact way.

@Concreteowl

Жыл бұрын

@@hoodaticus I sympathise. Nothing worse than being in love with someone who wants to run away. I wish I could switch it off.

My friend ghosted me when I told her I had an urgent CT scan .. I’m so hurt I’ve always been there for her

I thought I was the only one that does this..... you opened my eyes like crazy, I’ve ghosted away countless numbers of people, friends & relationships. 🤨

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi PJ. You're definitely not the only person who has ghosted other people. As I mentioned in the video, I've done this myself. The important thing here is to recognize it for what it is and work on not doing that in the future. Thanks, Hannah

When I feel like isolating, I "check on" the people around me, my friends in recovery. This way I am not alone, but I am not talking about ME, I am checking on THEM. Seems to help! Thanks for another great video!!

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi! This is great input and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this topic. Checking on others helps us feel like we are still engaging in others lives without necessarily being physically present. So important! Thank you as always for sharing your insight! -Hannah

my ex left me twice in 8 years , both times for other men. the second time was worse, because we had a baby. but its strange, its like she would rebel and go out and drink when she didnt get her way, and then she obviously cheated one night, and acted so indifferent like i was some stranger in the bus depot she just met, talked to me like she didnt even know me, wouldnt touch me, just got angry when i came close to her. it sucks

Hello Hannah! Thank you for this video. I am in the phase of my own depression, because my girlfriend who has bipolar disorder type I, after 1,5 year of relationship, broke up with me suddenly. First, suddenly told me on the phone that she can't handle it and want to be alone, I didn't know then about the emotional detachment and ghosting, so I texted her some messages asking for communication. She never answered back and now after 2 months of her ghosting, she blocked me in social media. In some common friends she said that she loves me, but she has to be alone this period of time. I wanted to ask you and bipolars, because it's very hard for me to deal with her ghosting and blocking. Will she come back at some point, at least to discuss it with me? And after how long? I suppose she is under manic-deppresion episode and I hope she takes her medicines (she had stopped them for 1 month), do the feelings come back to her after this detachment? Is it common to block theis significant other? What can I do, to show her that I still love her and I am right next to her and willing to help her? Should I try to text her an sms and what to write her? She is been 3 months away now.. Thank you so much for your understanding and willing to help me, in advance!

@pusztai777

Жыл бұрын

Going through the exact same thing. Any updates on your end?

I get so overwhelmed when people message me. And i feel bad when i dont want to talk and sometimes i get really mad that people aren’t respecting my space. I want to cut all my friends off and they haven’t done anything wrong. I dont know how to fix this because i dont want to lose them but i dont want to have them. Im so confused

Hey Hannah! I hear that it is very common to have borderline personality disorder with bipolar as well. Do you have that as well by any chance?

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Jeremiah! I do not have bpd, but there are a lot of similarities with symptoms of both conditions. Thanks for the question! -Hannah

I tend to ghost A) I think my friends and boyfriend are better off without me B) I’m ashamed of not being happy or positive or normal and don’t want to say negative things to them

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi August. I am sorry you feel this way. These negative thoughts that exist in our head will be present often but we don't have to believe them. Remind yourself every day that you are lovable even on the days you don't feel it. Attain self-love and self-acceptance first. Do not be ashamed. You deserve love. We all do. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! -Hannah

This has happened to me. I am no angel but I at least let the person know. I do, however, isolate, especially from people I care about.. When I am either in a manic or depressive episode, I am not pleasant to be around. When I am depressed, I can be an extremely nasty person and end up feeling so horrible about it an hour later every single time. I have left S.O. behind but I have always at least told them i'm leaving. I might not explain it but I won't completely disappear. The feeling of being ghosted is so horrible it pulls down my self esteem even further down causing my manic and depressive episodes to go extreme. It probably happens to me with a serious relationship once a year so I feel hopeless and do not want to even open up anymore. I feel bad for dating others I can not give my full heart too because I am too depressed over being ghosted.

A friend sent this vid to me, I’m guilty of doing this, I always find it’s easier to push people away and deal with the episodes alone

Wow I used to do this before I was diagnosed and only just started to be consistent (after being 3 years on meds). It's been a journey. I still take a day or two to reply but I'm working on it day by day :)

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Chivaughn! It seems like many of us with bipolar disorder are guilty of 'ghosting.' Self-awareness is huge, so I am happy that everyone is sharing with me their experience. Thank you for commenting. -Hannah

@mnkybling

3 жыл бұрын

@@healthyplace Awareness and self-awareness is absolutely paramount! So now once the communication, awareness and self-awareness has been re-established concluding an episode and the ghosting persists throughout the course of a relationship, what is the excuse for the BPD other at that point? How should the non-BPD person deal with or handle that relationship? Is it just so cut/dry, black & white that it should just always be expected, that it's just simply how it is and that's just how it's always going to be? I understand there is an irrational sense of not wanting to "bring those around them down" in an episode of depressive state (GOD knows I've been there at times myself), however, when somebody truly loves/values that person and genuinely wants to be in that state with their BPD life-partner in an effort to help them through so that they are not alone shouldn't that be taken into logical respect and consideration? My BPD loved one is extremely intelligent, thus leaving me and my logical mindset to believe that there is a sense of moral and ethical decisions when it comes to the respect of the social aspect of having a significant other - no? Great post BTW....

@Murph_gaming

2 жыл бұрын

I think most people would understand taking a day or so to get back to someone, especially if you're busy.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

@@mnkybling It will get worse over time, not better. BD is a degenerative condition. The very parts of their brain that let them control their impulses are rotting away.

I don't have bipolar disorder however I lost a 3 year relationship with my best friend because of this

i’ve been talking to this bipolar girl, which we both have confessed our feelings for eachother. we were talking sm and all of a sudden one week she just stopped replying to me. ofc she replied back sometime during the day but it wasn’t like before. it felt like she was ghosting me in a way? her friend which she is close to recently messaged me telling me that her bipolar makes her say no to relationships but she really likes me. does anyone know what or how i should handle or do in this situation?

@allanking508

3 жыл бұрын

Move on 👍

Please make a video on Ghosting friends , I just dont know to handle friendships. I feel like I’m making excuses half of the times, and the little friends I have is becoming fewer. I am always all in or none at all. I don’t like telling my friend I have bi polar , because I’m afraid they will judge , but not telling them hurts more. I wish I could tell them I love you but just sometimes. I hate being like this ☹️

@dank2820

Жыл бұрын

A good friend will not judge yo.

My ex ghosted me while my dad was dying. Please consider the consequences if you date someone with bipolar. If you have any kind of abandonment trauma or mental illness yourself, it’s okay and probably best to love them from afar and find something stable to not retraumatize you.

I was ghosted out of the blue for a couple days until I called to check up on her. She was all angry. Next day she kept saying she was overwhelmed and it wasn’t me. I was great and even helped her but she needs to be alone for a while to deal with her mental health. She also isn’t medicated either. As soon as I drove after being dumped she texted me to thank me for being there. I am still utterly shocked it happened and she never told me she was bipolar.

@noted_insolence1894

2 жыл бұрын

Hey, what ended up happening? Did she come back? I'm going through this right now with a girl I've been seeing for 5 months. She started to decline a couple weeks ago, and then suddenly wanted to end everything "to protect me" and because she "doesn't deserve love and doesn't deserve me" and needs to fix herself alone, etc, etc etc. No idea what to do. i begged her to just let me be there and stick it out with her but she just wants me as a friend until she fixed herself. Idk what to do..

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

@@noted_insolence1894 Don't stick your piece in crazy bro.

When someone is used to chaotic, normal is chaotic to them.. when a bipolar distant themselves they are more scared than you or their mind plays games against them and sometime the mind fixates on an idea or that one specific incident when everything changed after it and they distant themself because sometimes they get triggered and misunderstand your intentions.. I’m not justifying here and not all cases are the same .. and normal relationships looks very suspicious sometimes when the thoughts are not controlled.. what works is to be patient write down your feelings talk to a trusted one when you feel suspicious try to remember the good things and walk to clear your head and force yourself to be around people loved ones..

I had to leave. And it hurts so bad.

i was ghosted..by a woman i really cared about after only a month of meeting online and becomming good friends. first time its happened to me..this helps me to understand more..and i am still here for her..if she changes her mind

Should I reach out to a girl I've only been talking to if she ghosts me? I know for a fact she's bipolar and I don't know if I should reach out, let her reach out, do my own thing and cross my fingers? Forget and move on? If I do try to reach out how long should I give it?

@willwestman8588

3 жыл бұрын

Going threw that now. She was so excited to meet up and then ghost

Since my diagnosis I still don’t believe they got it right, but every once in a while videos like this confirm I indeed have bipolar disorder🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

My girl is currently in a ghosting phase right now as I type this, I am a very patient person so I'm just waiting to hear from her again but I miss her greatly.

I am being ghosted. And I've sent three heartfelt e-mails with apologies in crescendo. And a love letter. All to apologize for something that was clumsy communication, but clearly not something deserving of a reaction of ghosting (I checked with third parties). All he now does, is send hidden messages in his Facebook posts to everyone. Kicking me in the butt. Covertly. Making me feel guilty all over again. "I would never Judas someone", etcetera. All I can do now, is distance myself completely, to preserve my sanity. 💔

I had a friend who's bipolar and he's been ghosting me for 4 months and I think this video helped a lot for me to understand. I ended up blocking him though so idk if that was the right move for me to do but I was hurt badly

@amberg4775

3 жыл бұрын

Did you and your friend ever make amends? Do you regret blocking him or did it make him reach out to you?

@maryamabdi7241

3 жыл бұрын

Any updates? Just curious!

@SleezyWeezel

3 жыл бұрын

@@amberg4775 no, he still hasn't talked to me since. it's been nearly two years.

@SleezyWeezel

3 жыл бұрын

@@maryamabdi7241 unfortunately not. he hasn't spoken to me in nearly two years. i'm kind of over it though.

@SleezyWeezel

3 жыл бұрын

i should also mention that i have had him unblocked for about a year now and i even messaged him to try to reach out to him again but nothing happened.

I'm Dating a girl and we got about 5 months into the relationship before she told me she had bipolar disorder, this video was very helpful, because sometimes everything is going perfect, and then out of the blue she will just ghost, me and this entire time i've been thinking it was my fault, or that i wasn't good enough, but this video and these comments, really change my perspective on it all

I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder type 2 for 5 years now and I really struggle with ghosting my friends. Its hard for me to build relationships because when I get depressed I kind of feel guilty that I feel this way and I don't want anyone to see me this way or feel sorry for me. I feel like I can't show people my hard moments because they see me and see so much strength and fun and all these positive things that I only am half the time. So I end up self sabotaging by acting like I was too busy to communicate but really I was just fighting my depressive episodes.

@Nmouttasim

Жыл бұрын

Force yourself it works by time, don’t judge yourself they will accept you in all your moods. Even if you were depressed force yourself let them be with you. You’ll get used to it like getting used to be alone. This worked for me and u need a routine

@josepimentel5687

Жыл бұрын

Hi, I met a girl I really appreciate and like , I was sure she liked me as well. She opened up about being bi polar , taking meds for depression and anxiety. I was so confused after we texted all day and then she stopped responding. When she responds she always says it's been a busy time. Would this be the case with her that she's going through these states? I want to be there for her.

@Nmouttasim

Жыл бұрын

@@josepimentel5687 I don’t really know! She might lost interest why don’t you ask her.. be clear..

I’m suffering from anxiety going through this and I stopped blowing up their phone but when I text simple things like hello or I’m coming back they never respond at all

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

You are entirely too beautiful to put up with that shit.

Going through this right now-she basically pursued me for three months and was madly in love with me-eventually we gave it a try and eventually met up-it was an amazing experience-we were so happy and FaceTimed every night after she came from work. I was eventually deeply in love with her and wanted to settle down-abruptly she ghosted and blocked me. I tried severally to reach out but to no avail- I miss her so badly. Hopefully one day she’ll come back. It’s a learning curve to get to understand the risks of dating someone with BPD.

@Zaliyahh

4 ай бұрын

I hope you're doing well, I'm going through something similar and it's starting on week 2 of being ghosted. It's so hard, I just keep hoping he's okay and alive. I miss him so much, but I understand it's all apart of the the bipolar disorder. I spent a week and a half crying over him, but now I've accepted that he's experiencing more pain than me right now, and my heart hurts for him for that.

@HusnyMoha23

4 ай бұрын

Hopefully you’re doing better-I feel you-it’ll be better though

@Zaliyahh

4 ай бұрын

@HusnyMoha23 yeah ive been feeling better. I'm just trying to hold faith that he'll come back someday. I've been coping better since then, though 🔥

@HusnyMoha23

4 ай бұрын

That’s awesome 🤗

Very helpful video

I’m actually wanting to walk away forever.. so sad. Very hard to do. Extremely toxic all of this.

What if they've ghosted you for a few months, they won't break it off. But they won't talk to you either

@zabercrombie24

4 жыл бұрын

I'd love for someone to speak on this comment, for real !

@christoduplessis8177

4 жыл бұрын

I know this feeling. And there is no information on this out there.

@mnkybling

3 жыл бұрын

@Lori Smith ABSOLUTELY!

Can somebody please help me, give their opinion. I broke up with my girlfriend 1 month ago. No we are in no contact. At the same time I started therapy and got the diagnosis from 2 different psychologists that I were bipolar. I’m currently dating another girl. I don’t know what to think anymore. Could it be that I broke up with my girlfriend (over 2 years relationship) cause of my bipolar disorder? I want to work on myself and get the girl of my dreams back. But how can I tell her that I’m thinking it’s a cause of my mental illness. I feel the worst I’ve been in a long time. Breaking two girls hearts and don’t know what to do.. maybe someone understands or had the same experience?

@allanking508

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe she has a new man.

Oh boy. Dealing with something like this now. The woman I've been dating for months stopped communication with me for over a week. Little background. She recently got divorced. More recently than that, her son moved out of state to be with his dad. Devastated her so much she just wanted to cry and sleep all day. Said she has feelings for me and also the experience with her divorce makes her afraid.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

Bipolars always punish you for the sins of other people. It's not fair, and it is abuse.

@Supertzar999

Жыл бұрын

@@hoodaticus Hmm. I posted this 3 years ago. Lots since then. Been on and off with the same woman but she's emotionally unstable and I told her she should seek counseling. I think she's a borderline.

I'm dating someone with bipolar! This is the first time I went 2 days with out a hearing from him. So I figured he is having one of his down days. It drives me crazy not hearing back from him. Because I worry about him. Thinking I did something. But today I told him even though he didnt reply back. I told him that I wasnt going anywhere even I his worse days.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

Any update? IME this behavior gets worse over time until you either get ghosted or wise up and dump them.

Wow, so here I find myself the genesis of my broken relationship and to hear this is comforting in the most painful way but maybe I have something to offer the discussion. I can't seem to make sense of letting your feelings dictate your choices. If your feelings go up and down like a roller coaster and you have very intense feelings and very low intensity feelings how does it change your ability to make the right decision? I mean maybe the problem is realizing your choice is part of deciding between right or wrong and not acting on an emotion or feeling. I think your alone because the choices you are making not because your feelings are deep. It seems to me the medical community has missed the mark on what the problem of the disorder is. I mean having deep feelings is not a disorder at all people need deeper feelings. Look at the world we live in where children are starving, people are dying, people are making selfish decisions that hurt others for their self gain sounds to me like we need more people with deep emotions. So can you accept the fact that bi-polar and this massive fluctuation of emotion is no disorder at all. If you can then maybe there is hope to fix the problem. So forget all the stuff you've either learned or hear about narcissism, bipolar, and sociopaths, behavior disorders and imagine for a minute that your emotions and the ability to have deep and passionate emotions is a healthy and good thing. So the problem then what is it? The problem is making a choice that hurts someone else. That is why your whole life you feel rejected and alone. You are being rejected and alone because you are hurting people by choosing to. You don't hurt someone because your feeling deeply or not feeling deeply enough that is absurd. You are feeling because you are supposed to feel. You are hurt or others are hurt because someone is making a choice to hurt you or you are making a choice to hurt someone. Our medical society is taking advantage of people who feel because the easy way for them to make people get along is to teach them having extreme feelings is unhealthy and it's an out right lie. You can feel very deeply about something and still, choose right or wrong. Unless of coarse you have been brainwashed into thinking you have to choose based on your emotions. Right and wrong is not an emotion it is you exercising your conscious choice. Now you can argue having a strong emotion can influence your choice but everybody suffers a degree of feeling they desire the wrong decision but you can still understand wrong from right. It is also totally normal to choose the wrong choice because you desire it so intensely and everyone does that not just passionate people. Realize choice is separate from the emotion you feel then there is no problem. Psychology keeps you from having this realization by training the focus on your extreme emotion and not addressing the choices you have to make. Big problem when your focus is not even on the problem. So when you think about ghosting your next victim because the deep feeling you have to not want to feel bad realize the choice to ghost is why you are having deep feelings and you should because you are choosing to hurt someone else and you should feel bad which ironically is a good thing. Making the right choice is usually more difficult than making the wrong choice but the reward comes after making the right choice you can have good deep feelings and not bad ones. So to summarize good decisions equal good deep feelings; Bad decisions equal deep bad feelings. Deep feelings are good and not a disorder and they are bad or good based on the decision not the magnitude or ability to feel. I mean no wonder the world is getting so messed up. We are teaching people to repress their feelings but who cares what kind of decisions your making. God save us. If you have trained yourself to be emotionless un-train yourself we need more deep feelers in the world before we are totally doomed. A world where no one cares about caring is a disorder. Also I find the term ghosting extremely offensive and I don't think people should throw it around like it's something to do because what you are really saying is I choose to hurt other people and myself because I choose to let my emotions make my choices for me, oh and I don't take any responsibility for my choices. For the love of God don't choose to ghost someone who cares about you it's like making them watch you commit suicide. I hope I haven't offended anyone by my comments I made them because I care. I feel strongly about the issue because I lost a few people I love because of being ghosted and one is just a child and if my words can help just one of you reading this make the right choice instead of the wrong choice I know it will be worth it. Don't believe me just try it once. Those feelings are real and so are your choices make good choices so you can have good feelings. 💞 God bless all of you who feel intensely.

@mnkybling

3 жыл бұрын

Well said - you hit the nail right on the head with this response and I absolutely have to agree with every bit of this!

I feel like when you get closer to someone I'm questioning how can I live with this person the rest of my life. I make the decision spontaneous LY and then afterwards oh I should have said something about it to him

@healthyplace

5 жыл бұрын

Hi Lisa! We learn lessons from these experience. Self-love is most important and not beating ourselves down too much. Thank you for sharing! -Hannah

@Deefecto

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah you should have. It destroys people and you go merrily on your way while they’re left to try and repair the trauma you inflicted for probably the rest of their lives. There is zero insight.

@hoodaticus

Жыл бұрын

@@Deefecto specific lack of insight is an antisocial spectrum symptom, and I truly believe bipolar belongs in cluster B.

My husband is a mean person ! We got married 3 months ago and he cries one minute calls me names and apologizes 30 minutes later . What is the issue with this ? I read and read ! Should I just walk away ? We bought a home in Illinios and it’s like he’s a completely different person ! Not kind and loving ! This has gone on for about 3 weeks now ! He sees it ! It’s super confusing! He’s suicidal one minute the next I’m rocking him to sleep !? Advice????

@feuerlordozai6176

3 жыл бұрын

If this is something that is affecting your mental health and it generally ruins your quality of life, then yes walk away. The same goes for if he is physically or verbally abusing you. Don't blame him for his mental illness but you cannot help anybody if your mental health is going down too. Try to say goodbye if you feel safe since everybody deserves a goodbye. If you want to stay with him it's important to get him to a therapist as soon as possible. I mean you have been married only for 3 months so you do not know how dangerous he can become for you if you guys are not seeking professional help. This is good for him too since a huge amount of mood swings are exhausting.

A lot of people here are calling it emotional abuse. But some "friends" just can't help and when you need someone they treat you like a burden. And no one wants to be a burden for needing love.

@hunterstephens8067

4 жыл бұрын

Traice Anthony well it’s kind of hard for someone to love you...when you’re pushing them away and won’t allow them to love you.

@Peace4Conciousness

4 жыл бұрын

@@hunterstephens8067 hard to trust who to be vulnerable with or not when some family and friends shame you where others stand as healthy support. It's all a test of time and boundaries for everyone, I think.

@hunterstephens8067

4 жыл бұрын

Traice Anthony I agree with you. But sometimes if you want people to understand you. You have to be open with them you can’t just expect them to know what’s going on. You just have to trust the people who you know are genuinely concerned for you.

@Peace4Conciousness

4 жыл бұрын

@@hunterstephens8067 Yes. Easier said than done sometimes, especially for those with tendencies to self-sabotage. But, you are not wrong.

@hunterstephens8067

4 жыл бұрын

Traice Anthony I know my girlfriend just did it. We’ve been broken up for 2 days. I know it’s not as simple as I make it sound but that’s why you take steps to become more open even if it’s the smallest thing. And you have to remember that if they don’t have the patience to try to understand what you are going through then they weren’t worth it anyways. If someone really cares about you they will try as hard as they can to help you.

My wife of 20 years with a 17 year old son it's not only ghosts in me kick me out of the house but has put out a restraining order or I can't even talk to her anymore what am I supposed to do now????

@timcurry6725

4 жыл бұрын

This just hurts so so so so bad I don't know what I've done that she hadn't already done to me first why do I still even love her

@sergiorangel7761

3 жыл бұрын

@@timcurry6725 how are things today?

One of my dearest friends who has bi-polar has ghosted me for about a month now 😢

When I get hypomanic or manic, I act delusional, rude, not myself, etc. It's hard to figure out whdn I am that way. For me mania is a very similar feeling to falling super hard for someone, but sometimes it goes even more intense than that, and that's super scary for me. So whenever I get close to someone I have to ask myself, are these symptoms becaysw I am crushing real hard right now, or am I starting to become manic, how do i manage that, (one of the coping skills would to be to self isolate until I can figure which it is, and take meds/exercise to manage) because explaining myself when I can't think straight never works well.