I am an American and I have been with five women in my life. My first language is Spanish, but my best language is English. I also know enough French and Italian to have more than basic conversations, although I’m not fluent, and I have foundational/beginner knowledge of American Sign Language, German, and Portuguese. The first three women I was with spoke only English, which was never a problem, except that I realized if I ever introduced them to my parents, they wouldn’t be able to converse with my monolingual Spanish-speaking mother. The fourth woman spoke English, ASL, and French, in order of fluency, and I was head over heels smitten with her, in part because of that. We talked about marriage and future plans together. She already had kids, and I assured her her kids would be incredible polyglots if we worked together to expose them to all the languages she and I both knew. I took the opportunity to use ASL and French with her as much as possible. She expressed interest in learning Spanish, which would have helped her talk to my mom. That didn’t pan out. My current girlfriend is a native Venezuelan who speaks only Spanish, which is a first for me. I suddenly am self-conscious about my less-than-perfect Spanish. She admitted to me that whilst I speak it well enough to be understood, and she’s glad about that, she can tell that I sometimes struggle with past tenses and more advanced vocabulary words. But we went to Italy and France and she listened to me speak competent Italian, French, and English, which was enough to impress her. Then I asked her to be my girlfriend at the Eiffel Tower, and the rest is history.

I've found it to be much more exciting and fun to date those from other countries that speak another language. It's extra fun for me to then do my best to learn their language and start speaking little bits to them. If one of these relationships really lasts, I would really want to fully invest into being very fluent in their language. I'm American so you guessed it, I only speak english. I've been practicing Polish anyway for a little while :)

@sasasaiha8185

Жыл бұрын

Helloo nice to see a fellow American learning Polish it is a very beautiful language ! 🍀❤🍀😄

Hello Laura, good morning 🌅! This is the first time I publish a comment in any of your videos. This video I liked much because it was shot with great quality in audio 🎧, as well as the topic that you addressed. I understood your speech about 75-80%. I hope that in this year 2023 you achieve all your goals and dreams. You have a great mastery speaking English. By the way, you have an eyes very beautiful 💚. Greetings and hugs 🤗💐🤗💐 from Sonora, México 🇲🇽

I have dated people “through” 3 languages and it’s been very interesting tbh and I can relate to the “oh I’m used to talking about that topic in a specific language so I’m kinda confused” part

As a freshly single polyglot, I'm really looking forward to seeing your perspective on this! Edit: okay so I really relate to the whole language teaching thing and not being able to open up! I teach English too, and I find that I always lead the conversation with way too many questions because I'm so used to encouraging others to talk! Since I live very near London I get a lot of people international people who have just moved to london hit me up on dating apps. It's sometimes really awkward because I'll mention I teach English and I feel like the person is more interested in practicing their English with me and getting them to correct them rather than date me. I don't mind pointing a few improvements out now and then if they ask directly, but I don't want our dates to turn into tutoring lessons! Flirting is odd in so many ways. I grew up with Italian being in my household so I associate that language most with love and affection. Since I tend to date English and Spanish speakers, I can't blurt out cute things to them in Italian. The people I love also seem to speak in Italian in my dreams too which is always a very surreal experience. It's also very sad when you want to share a joke or an experience with someone you're flirting with but they would never understand it the way you do. I've had one occasion flirting with another polyglot and I think that was the best part. Shame it never worked out! I've had the hardest time flirting in Spanish. I feel like it takes double the brain power not only to come up with something smooth, but also understand whitty comments back as slang really does vary all over Hispanic countries. Sometimes I don't quite get the 'hint' or my flirting goes over someone's head... My most awkward example of this was an interaction in France where I had no idea what 'café du pauvre' meant!!! What's most awkward is when you're speaking to someone who's fluent in English from a culture you're still learning about and you really can't tell if they're flirting with you or not. For example, eastern Europeans are so hard for me to read!

@LauraMaliszewska

Жыл бұрын

I'm curious to read your thoughts as well, either coming from your experience or just what you think about what I've noticed! I'm SO EXCITED to be diving deeper into different relationship dynamics in this series as well 💫

@coolpersonwithcake98

Жыл бұрын

@@LauraMaliszewska Just edited my comment to show my perspective now I've watched your video! I wanted to put it on the main bit of the thread so more people could read it

Wow, I relate so much to the bit about you having more distance with English, and it being a better language to communicate emotions for me. I think in my case i wouldn't know if it's a "depends on the language of another person" but I think it's really related to precisely "Bilingual Diary Entries" lol. I don't talk a lot about emotions with friends or family so i mostly process them on diary entries, or in other online ways somehow, and online I just gravitate to English speaking places so that's the language I've been accustomed to. And since that relates to the BDE name, gotta say that i'm a fan LMAO i have a lot of the ones, and not a lot of the other, but oh well 😂 hope it doesn't interfere with my bilingual dating lmaoooooo And I do think the "distance" helps in this processing I talk about. Maybe it's some kind of delusion but I do feel a bit more "rational" when writing in English about this kind of stuff. And in general, the books i read and stuff i watch around the topic also have a big influence into how I then write about it, probably. I could probably translate "fearful avoidant" and those concepts into Spanish but i've learned them in English so when I want to refer to them while reflecting I just go on autopilot in English. I would also make a distinction between speaking and writing, I don't speak as well as you do tbh, not just in English but as in a "words coming out of my mouth" type way, I just speak poorly in general, use too much slang, can't find the right words, etc. In writing I can do slight editing, change up the tone more to my taste, "casual it down" or "fancy it up" depending on how I'm feeling, go back and change stuff around so that makes things a whole lot easier, but in actual speech I always feel like I'm "underspeaking" and being way too casual, really disorganized with information, long etc. Wish i could pull out my notes app in front of ppl, write what i want to say then read it out lol

My experience dating was only with one guy. His native language is Polish and mine is English (I'm from the USA) when we first met I only spoke English and he had never had an English conversation in his life but he learned to read English through games and the internet. Our first talks were funny and full of errors but it didn't take away from connecting with each other as we had the same interests, opinions, and comfortability in being around each other that made us enjoy the time. In even a couple of months his English skills were growing rapidly and that initial hesitation in talking pretty much went and it really inspired me a lot, so he started teaching me Polish with little pieces here and there. I started taking it seriously after I met his family who only spoke Polish and then I knew I wanted to learn 😅😆❤🌸 So after some time I could read Polish and speak a little (like a baby 👶). So now I would say our relationship is semi-bilingual as we switch from Polish to English, and for me it's super fun. And about some of the points you talked about I feel like it's really funny 😆 My s/o says he hates dirty talking in Polish and way prefers English. For me, I like both. Overall when it comes to expressing myself, I really have the same feelings as you; it feels way more vulnerable for me to express my feelings in English and when I do so in Polish (mostly in journal entries) I feel way more comfortable in expressing myself about how I really feel, and it's also the language I feel like I think more rationally in compared to English.

Love you so much.

❤❤❤