This isn’t an app to look for validity and affirmation. Be able to to handle being ignored, we are grown men.

I have never used an app of any sort. Just isn't my thing... I'd rather meet someone naturally/organically and just let life bring me whose for me.

@WellismoCoaching

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely, and that has been the way for thousands of years. It works just fine!

@richardfloridaman

Жыл бұрын

@@WellismoCoaching yep and least you can tell whose genuinely into you. It’s all in the eyes. The eyes.

@psremington

8 ай бұрын

Absolutely!!

We all learned from Grindr and we already know what it's for but of course, I would agree to the kinder Grindr approach when we can. if you are looking for a meaningful connection, probably a 10% chance you will get it but it is less likely. Maybe try to join community groups where you can meet and connect with other gay men and go from there.

@GayMenGoingDeeper

4 күн бұрын

Agreed. While apps can be useful, building genuine connections often happens outside of the digital world. Exploring community groups is a great way to meet like-minded people.🙂

Excellent discussion today! Although I have never used Grindr, the same principles mentioned in this video can be applied to meeting others through different avenues. Showing respect and having a sense of balance can help navigate the sometimes tricky waters of entering relationships IMHO.

@WellismoCoaching

Жыл бұрын

100% yea, this conversation could be about any app or even just human decency. We specified Grindr though because it seems to be where we noticed the greatest deficiency

I have been on and off for years, recently along with my partner looking for a guest occasionally (which can be very hard because both of us have to like him, he has to like both of us, we have to match three roles and calendars...), and also sometimes not together. I normally engage only in one or two conversations I am truly interested in, so I never even see other messages because I don´t want to waste their time or mine, so I don´t reply to many people, but it is not personal. Also, if I see a profile I will definitely never will interest me, I just block him so that he doesn´t waste time as well. So let´s keep trying to be nicer! Thanks as always x

@WellismoCoaching

Жыл бұрын

I wish we had talked about the blocking as well. Perhaps next time :) I think it can be used strategically like you mentioned here. Some people I know also block friends or guys they know because they aren't going to chat with them and they'd rather not have friends take up valuable Grindr real estate grid

@gw6482

Жыл бұрын

@@WellismoCoaching oh absolutely! Even with my best friends, I don’t want them to know when I’m there. Not that there is any shame on it, and a lot of them know I’m in an open relationship, but still, it’s intimate information. There’s a time and place for friends, and a different one for sexy adventures

Thanks for sharing this conversation! What I think I am taking away from this conversation is that handling Grindr in a responsible way benefits from seeing it as a tool with which to make connections with actual people (who have feelings) and realizing that it is not merely a vending machine to get one's personal needs met. I love the fact that you talk about being mindful of the attitudes and expectations we bring to this tool. I wonder if getting the most out of Grindr doesn't require a certain level of honesty and maturity one should cultivate in order to engage in healthy sexuality in the first place. I am glad you provide educational experiences to help people live fuller sexual and emotional lives (whether assisted by technology or not) and I hope that folks will take advantage of the wisdom you have to offer.

@WellismoCoaching

Жыл бұрын

Thank you Jon Carl, that is our objective here. Glad you enjoyed the episode ❤

I wonder if grindr has been doing something to counter the mean behaviour and educate people on that. I just open and close it and skip anything to pops up on my screen when I open it, so I'm really not sure.

Grindr provides a huge world of exploration intellectually. It is an interesting phenomenon. If Foucault was right to identify fist fucking as a new sexual practice/technology of the 20th C then Grindr has the equivalent status in the 21st. The social phenomenon is ripe for a series of doctoral studies including analysis of experience related to age, class, status and race. I would argue it challenges the need for gay culture as we know it. This is because what we have come to know has been based on privilege of class, race, status and age. Grindr completely mixes that up. No gay tribe affiliations are a prerequisite instead your basic value in Grindr terms is hugely dependent on your proximity. And hunting prowess. Men with certain widely admired physical attributes and outgoing personalities were once more comfortable in a bathhouse. Grindr opens the flood gates for all that is good and bad. And that is across the spectrum of body types and mental health. Grindr is basically free at entry level, so more low income earners including the young 18 year olds and older men with small incomes who bring their pluses and minuses. I have seen some profiles stating Asians a plus for example - all very interesting. In some ways I think the app is an expression of masculinity with all its variety of expression. On one level it can provide access to sexual partners with little/minimal thought about broader identity considerations. For example a close or next door neighbour can pop out from his bedroom for ten/fifteen minutes and be back with his wife in no time at all. No need to go to where gays are, look like them so they recognise you as available, or think too much about identity politics. I appreciated the humanity of the discussion and especially the need for kindness to the young and obviously vulnerable. One friend met a young guy who had lied about his age. He then said to the lad ‘I want to meet your mother’, actually he did and a bit of support was able to be put in place for the boy and the family. Welcome to the extremely diverse world of male sexuality. My pet peeves are people who expect a response despite having a non existent profile. Oh that an being asked how big I am as the first question lol. Thanks for a great chat and keep up the fine work. I’ve even sent links from your podcasts to guys who messaged me on Grindr because I felt they might appreciate support and understanding lol.

@WellismoCoaching

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for such an insightful response. Appreciate you taking the time to listen to the epsiode and provide your thoughts here - and of course, thanks for sharing this with your Grindr guys 🙏🏼

@garybranigan1928

Жыл бұрын

You should have been on the podcast!… These discussions can be so non layered.. you bring much needed depth

@Johnnysmithy24

9 ай бұрын

I remember when gay people fought to not be seen as perverts

Hi Pepper! I agree that it's important for us gay men to be kind to one another. Each person deserves to be loved

Anonymity allows people to be who they are?.. with no sense or concern of consequences

I don't agree with this, policing people's likes and wants is horrible. Instead of acting like people are evil, accept why they do this.