I don’t mask my autism, but I do mask my complex PTSD, my blind isms like touching everything and stuff like that. And I also mask crying. This is a big one for me, masking crying.

If I'm busy trying to help others or solve their problems then it's easier for me to ignore my own stuff

Well, some people say I am a moody bugger, but I am very jaded

Afab people are taught to people please and Amab people not so much. It's okay to "go out there and do your thing" as the latter where being nice and masking or putting others first is something encouraged in Afab people.

This might be a gender thing because ‘women’/afab are conditioned to be accommodating. It’s also probably a trauma response, both the hypervigerclance (reading the ‘energy’) and the fawning response.

That’s not awful to not be a people pleaser. That’s why so many people are unhappy. They are living their lives to please others all the while being miserable inside or angry. Many people may not like that your not a people pleaser but it’s because that’s not common & they don’t know what to do with it lol

Recently decided that I don't like being treated like a disposable compliment dispenser by bad actors and unreliable "friends". Stopping is difficult tho, as it's a deeply ingrained habit. So I've opted for almost complete isolation now instead. Am often lonely, but also a LOT happier.

@claiomhdubh

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Tho I defo get what she's saying about walking into a room and being overwhelmed by all the emotion being projected into the air by chatty Defaults.

Thomas she's specifically talking about the female experience. We're trained to take stock in the needs of usually our parents first. It's a bit of a survival skill that prevents some danger but not all danger.

I please those who aren't A$$holes. Iff some1 psst me off, then I stop being pleasing & I flip out 😂💯

Lol I'm a pleasure lol I'm all.about pleasing others 😅 😜🙊

Me too lol not a people pleaser naturally

😊Agreed 🤝

Maybe you're not a people pleaser because you weren't raised and socialized as a girl or woman? It's a trauma response to being told you're wrong all the time growing up. So many of us went undiagnosed our whole childhoods and the "fawn" response is pretty common.

Thomas, trying not to be a people-pleaser and failing! 🤣

😂