I born and lived in Indonesia. Asian boss sometimes has make misperception about Indonesian People. That 'Indonesia without dating movement' is still a minor, the majority (including muslims) still dating before marriage, because it's an important thing to get to know someone that will be our lifetime partner.

@michaelkato8999

4 жыл бұрын

but it is what your quran teach. How come you muslim not following what your quran says ? it means you are not muslim anymore according to Arab people

@netijen1535

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelkato8999 In behalf of an Indonesian and born in a muslim family, I'll help answering. But to be frank and make it short: That's just the reality of how muslims are in Indonesia. Well, I can't speak for all muslims, but many of them. (cmiiw)Our status to stay as a moslem are based on several things but it's not one of the things that you said and being discussed here, which is prohibition from dating. Yes, islamic teaching doesn't allow dating, but not following it does not make a moslem "lose" their status as a moslem. But in return, we had sinned. Please note that religion is a practice and people are different. Some are pious and want to be the best in the eye of their God and some not so much. That's also what happened here. A lot of us moslems don't always follow what our religion told us to do, but it doesn't define us as a person. There's a lot more to people than their religion, aren't there? And in the end of the day, we shall leave this matter to the person because it's their own business with their God.

@Cleeon

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelkato8999 you're Muslim ? If not how dare you tell to other what they must do to be good if yourself not doing it.

@michaelkato8999

4 жыл бұрын

@@Cleeon ?

@Cleeon

4 жыл бұрын

@@michaelkato8999 are you muslim and following Al Quran as daily lifestyle ?

Guy: pacaran setelah menikah itu lebih asyik, bla bla bla. The same guy: gw belum menikah. Sepertinya Asian Boss salah ambil narasumber.

@teofilusevanmenosa3689

4 жыл бұрын

awkwkwk true af, belom dicoba udh komen xD

@bendegorro754

4 жыл бұрын

Asian Boss tuh "Street Interview" mas ... Waduh, gagal paham ini ...

@yogan1081

4 жыл бұрын

@@bendegorro754 Nggak ada salahnya dengan street interview. yg jadi masalah itu kenapa dimuat narasumber yang kurang tepat

@buzzlightyear2938

4 жыл бұрын

Iyakah?

@Masnyuh

4 жыл бұрын

@@bendegorro754 menurutku, akan lebih adil bila mewawancarai TIDAK HANYA kawula muda (dari tayangan bisa dilihat bahwa Asian Boss hanya mengambil narasumber di suatu area kampus yang notabene mahasiswa). Akan lebih adil dan merepresentasikan opini yang lebih luas bila narasumbernya diambil dari berbagai usia, berbagai kalangan status (belum menikah, sudah menikah, duda/janda), dan berbagai latar belakang suku, agama, ras, dan antargolongan. Begitu.

Skip dating, avoid marriage, and go straight to KZread.

@Alaskan-Armadillo

4 жыл бұрын

This is something that not just Indonesia can agree on, not just Asia But. The. World!

This is an old topic, no one care about this movement anymore because its more of a personal matter

@andraantariksa4027

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@MTC008

2 жыл бұрын

The girl at 6:45 looks cute

I'm married with my ex husband without dating and without know each other, 1 year later we divorced and hate each other. my opinion getting married without dating is a bad idea, Period.

@gelap2533

4 жыл бұрын

Merried without knowing each other? WTF that stupid, at least those Indonesian people have the "ta'aruf" method

@fetingadelan8093

4 жыл бұрын

@@gelap2533 I mean don't know each other's characters.

@desinism101

4 жыл бұрын

Me with you 🙌

@gelap2533

4 жыл бұрын

@@fetingadelan8093 all the same, that stupid move

@desinism101

4 жыл бұрын

@@gelap2533 trust me, that "taaruf" method is basically similar with "without knowing each other". I saw my cousin

I think that you should have gone for a wider sample with these questions. e.g. older people. parents. etc.

@kettle2293

4 жыл бұрын

You could say that about all their videos.

@L16htW4rr10r

4 жыл бұрын

They did said that people has to willingly talk to them. Maybe, just maybe, she can't find one. After all, the one wanted this is teenager after all. It make sense to interviewed teenagers too.

@ScottimusPrime

4 жыл бұрын

Very religious population selected here, it seems. When comparing to another country, religion might be a second concern, third concern...so on.

@yamiletsoler3464

4 жыл бұрын

I don't think so, cause this movement is trying to change mostly young people to not date anymore, older people are more conservative so probably their are going to aprove it(cause probably they have already done it). It seems something very traditional also, so the movement is trying to bring back those lost values to its people I guess.

@5rahma

4 жыл бұрын

Nah, this concerns the next generation's trend in getting married, so i think their sampling is good enough here. U can tell they interviewed the ppl in a more conservative area though

Im indonesian and still feel weird about this movement.

@rizamayl9397

4 жыл бұрын

It's only Muslims tho

@EveByAdam

4 жыл бұрын

@@rizamayl9397 most of muslim

@nochucomethru1909

4 жыл бұрын

@@EveByAdam *SOME muslims

@sejunrumoko1876

4 жыл бұрын

incel movement

@akali2927

4 жыл бұрын

@@sejunrumoko1876 you mean incest movement 😏

I think you guys should also get some perspectives from a non-muslim

@Dominicn123

4 жыл бұрын

foreal!!!! muslim values are very different from the rest of us and never speak for a sizable amount lol they are super conservative

@user-rx7uh9mg4f

4 жыл бұрын

@Crim Sin lol you're just pissed that you can't see all the beautiful women under the hijab lol that's why you are throwing out anything that passes in your tiny brain even if its false and hateful lol

@bendegorro754

4 жыл бұрын

@Crim Sin That's in Alabama USA and most of European Royal Family, not happening in Muslim Countries.

@farra8841

4 жыл бұрын

@asianboss please pin this!!

@kodoxlucu

4 жыл бұрын

@Crim Sin LOL, Internet troll, Islam is the cause of terrorism? skipping history class dude? open your mind and read from a credible source.

Me: an Indonesian Also me: shocked when see the title :v

@shabgt

4 жыл бұрын

Lmao me too The first time I heard about people marrying without dating was in university, it was quite a shock

@raisha99

4 жыл бұрын

Me

@fadilarfat4974

4 жыл бұрын

Ikr

@reaupr

4 жыл бұрын

Relateeee 1000000%

@user-yk2jq4hs5j

4 жыл бұрын

Meanwhile i havent even hear a single thing about this movement until i saw the title

Hijrah trend of Indonesian youngsters makes several things to rise. 1. Indonesia tanpa feminists (Indonesia without feminists) 2. Indonesia tanpa pacaran (Indonesia without dating) 3. Semua harus halal (All-halal movements, even refrigerator is labelled as halal here, so it's sold faster). 4. Majority is the best (Muslim supremacist) Those things are examples of how religion can be infused with non principle matters to make it as economic and political commodity. The growing narrative of "you're not a good Muslim if you do not hijrah and follow your clerics" is just making Muslims easily influenced and directed as single big collective force of people politically and economically. They can simply be told to mob to the Monas, and will gladly do it, without even considering the consequences if it's wrapped as "for religion's sake". They just don't want to admit it.

@Brevicauda

4 жыл бұрын

Cahya Awaludin what a great point of view 😎 I sang "take me to church" right away while read your words

@ikapuchino

4 жыл бұрын

I'm muslim but those so funny!! 😂

@sadgurl1913

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I would say the actual good muslims (In my perspective ofc) they don't support any politic movements. I've met some of them in real life.

@namelesshunter4714

4 жыл бұрын

So true

@atomnous

4 жыл бұрын

Their minds are going dormant. They give up the ability think for themselves. And they easily believe in hoaxes. And don't know how to use the internet.

I'm glad people in comment sections explain the video deeper. Cause it may makes a lot of misunderstanding

@shrapnel4213

4 жыл бұрын

there is no misunderstanding this is stupid and no first world country let these absurd religious ideas dictate the way they live their lives.

@Izybuzy

4 жыл бұрын

@@shrapnel4213 it's not stupid or dictate the life they live. It's just a move/advice to follow the rule. In my opinion, religion is personal business between human and God. Maybe religion own rules, but back to human it self, follow or not, they should know which one is right or wrong, so they choose. And this move just give people an advice to follow it, and can't do more. Besides of religion matters, just see the pro or cons from it, if you're agree then good. If not then okay too. Anyway.. I do agree, but not following it, for now. I have bf. That's my choice.

@shrapnel4213

4 жыл бұрын

@@Izybuzy that is how it always start "it is just a suggestion" until it is law. taking freedoms away is always a bad idea. if you want advice study ethics, which is a science, not religion which is myth.

@Izybuzy

4 жыл бұрын

@@shrapnel4213 oww.. I assume you have different belief and perspective about religion, then there's no point of me discuss it with you. I apprreciate your opinion though.

@shrapnel4213

4 жыл бұрын

@@Izybuzy the most honest theorical positioning is being agnostic and the practical one is atheism since that is what the evidence seems to point to. the scientific method is behind every real knowledge we have. there is no religion powered cellphone, car nor anything. good luck

I understand it is part of their culture and religion, but I feel that going straight into marriage can lead to a lot of loveless marriages. I cannot imagine marrying someone I barely know, as they may be hiding their true personality. Maybe it’s just because I’m a Westerner haha

@ezradja

4 жыл бұрын

Not culture,just ISLAM.

@user-ep8vs9fy4y

4 жыл бұрын

@@ezradja It is also connected to culture. Every religion somewhat associates something with the culture.

@nehru9863

4 жыл бұрын

But ppl has always a choice to dating or not!

@user-ep8vs9fy4y

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed. I think people who follow this statement should just let them be it, and let the people who date just date. There are mostly Muslims in Indonesia, but not everyone is entitled to this say. I want to date. Not find love out of nowhere. I say keep it as it is. No reason for more unnecessary work.

@haqqizillysozo

4 жыл бұрын

Haha, even when they dating first, does not guarantee they being able to know his true personality. because when dating, both of them will try to show their perfection and cover their ugliness. and most people who have a date first before their marriage, will feel bored with their partners and seek for another fresh leaf.

Nope nope im not gonna marry a stranger or a potential serial killer. No thank you

@johnnyquest1454

4 жыл бұрын

im not islam but the tauuraf or what is call is basically like a get to know period, it does not signify the time and can be lead to years. the difference between that and dating is that, is more like a offical procedure where there no physical intimacy involve and more of a mentally approach where u get to know the other half through the approval of their respective parents.

@antihero3676

4 жыл бұрын

But you would date one 😂

@johnnyquest1454

4 жыл бұрын

@@antihero3676 well even if u date, there that possibility too, the major difference between the two is no physically intimacy and the parents chose for you, besides if u dont like the other half u can keep changing like my damn friend who been to more than 4 different women through taaruf so is basically just dating but on the understanding the other half-through mental discussion and etc

@ikapuchino

4 жыл бұрын

You don't know about taaruf, it's if someone come to ulama or priest in islam to introduce him/her a good person to marry. And after know well they can decide to marry or not

@bima50

4 жыл бұрын

i like your opinion 😂

I'm Indonesian, but I'm dating. parents also don't mind as long as they don't have sex before marriage. it's back to yourself.

@stanimirmn

4 жыл бұрын

Isn't the second part your personal decision ? Very weird that your mother would meddle in something like that.....

@chootanf

4 жыл бұрын

@@stanimirmn having sex before marriage is extremely taboo in Indonesia, no matter what religion you practice.. people have been persecuted in the past for getting caught having sex, and parents usually meddle in because of this

@ziahsl1226

4 жыл бұрын

@Crim Sin Yes why not. In our culture only with our husbands having sexual relations for the first time. But not everyone applies it. could be due to promiscuity. I'm 19 yo.

@eva4d166

4 жыл бұрын

@Crim Sin lol She lives in a country that it's a taboo(even though I'm against it) her mom is saying that to protect her..!!

@indonesiantangkas7446

4 жыл бұрын

@@ziahsl1226 Wajahmu kok mirip calon istriku..

im not muslim but the taaruf or what is call is basically like a get to know period, it does not signify the time and can be lead to years. the difference between that and dating is that, is more like a official procedure where there no physical intimacy involve and more of a mentally approach where u get to know the other half through the approval of their respective parents. Is it too restrictive maybe but is it really that bad, not really. Similar to dating there a pro and cons to both side so is up to individual to decide since is subjective. My Muslim friend is the one that told me this so if im wrong i guess he wrong too Edit: the same guy who told me this has went to 4 taaruf due to some is him being rejected by the other half and some from his side. Is not like if u get one , u go straight to marriage guys. P.S I'm not Muslim but i just find it interesting when he share it to me, although i don't practice this, i don't simply judge others decision if they choose to because different people different perspective. As long you're happy with it, that all that matters.

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

Well at least he doesn't jump straight to marriage.

@liquidpersuasion

4 жыл бұрын

In Western terms this is courtship, which is different from dating.

@johnnyquest1454

4 жыл бұрын

@@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655 yeah exactly, there a lot of misconception on it because people tend to look at things superficially

@johnnyquest1454

4 жыл бұрын

@@liquidpersuasion i guess you call it that way too but im not too familiar with the gist of it

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

@@liquidpersuasion Oh is this the part about fiancee and stuff?

I really think that AsianBoss is lack on research for this one. Pls also interview reliable sources so it would balance the story. Especially bcoz its related to certain religion.

@user-kt8yi5rk7v

4 жыл бұрын

Appreciate it if you can explain more about this movement.

@vebriyanpasha675

4 жыл бұрын

@@user-kt8yi5rk7v Well, Indonesian here. The interview in very biased because it targeting specific population, and lead the viewers into misleading conclusion. Yes, there are conservative movement this past years but trust me they only a small group. Moderate muslim is still the majority here. But the conservative is very loud on social media so they always get the attention.

Meanwhile i dont date bc men simply stress me out. In all seriousness though, like last year a muslim man insisted to talk to my parents even after i said no to his confession and he began asking my address to my friends and i was legit creeped out i would end up as fiona nurbaya or something

@L16htW4rr10r

4 жыл бұрын

Well, he is the stalker/yandere type

@natasya0618

4 жыл бұрын

Try me. Last year I meet one of potential men buf he has attached mother. It was the mother who insisted me marry his son eventhough it was the son who rejected me.

@djay00009

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, marry me I'm single . If can't , please pray for me to find a nice girl soon

@margarethafalco63

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@AxionSmurf

4 жыл бұрын

I understand. I'm the same way with women; I feel a high amount of stress from them. In my case it's only if they might be more than just a friend. I'm afraid they will turn against me as others have in the past. The last time I let a woman in the depression from betrayal damaged me emotionally to the point I had suicidal thoughts every day, and I drove to nearby high cliffs to stand at the edge and consider death. Trying to imagine just marrying someone whose betrayal could kill me is inconceivable.The alternative would be to not feel any intense love for another person. That is where I am now. I watched another Asian Boss video where a Japanese man had a virtual girlfriend and stated that "women are scary". I think this is in part what he meant, that if you let someone in and you have powerful feelings, they can destroy you. Jumping into marriage is crazy.

Bunch of hypocrites. Most of those who said "dating after marriage" just wanted to appear religious on camera. Youngsters in Indonesia still view "dating" as very important.

@happyface96

3 жыл бұрын

Bc they are malu, malu dan takut that when the video get's published they will be identified out as someone is impious. I swear if their identity was concealed they would be more honest.

I think there's lots misconception here. getting married without dating doesn’t mean picking someone without a good reason and not going through the process of knowing each other. They do know each other with a process known as ta’aruf. In this process, a man and a woman get acquainted before marriage. Taaruf is sort like a safer dating for muslim, cause in islam, "zina" or anything that approach sexual before marriage, are prohibited. Soo basically they do get to know each other first before marriage.

@-jiyuujin-

4 жыл бұрын

It seems like this ta’aruf is an extremely short period, surely not enough to get to know someone to the point of deciding to possibly spend your life with them...

@adamame6972

4 жыл бұрын

@@-jiyuujin- It's depend on the person, it could take a week, a month or even a year. Taaruf aim for marriage and not for fun, make it far away from toxic and hazy relationship. It's about being open and vulnerable, so that you know one another whether he or she compatible with you.

@adamame6972

4 жыл бұрын

@RedJoker that is so sadd :( Getting divorce isn't that common in indonesia. And also "skills in bed" can be improved rightt?

@jenniferray8569

4 жыл бұрын

One step closer to forced marriages.

@adamame6972

4 жыл бұрын

@@jenniferray8569 no it's nottt :(

People it seems alot of you don't understand, "ta'aruf" or " تعارف" is an arabic word that literally means " getting to know each other" the only difference from dating that there is no physical contact

@yoyoyo371

3 жыл бұрын

bener banget.. konsepnya dating dan taaruf basically sama, yaitu "mengenal"

@rudydwiprakoso8662

2 жыл бұрын

@@yoyoyo371 definitely not the same concept, Ta'aruf is a term that comes from Islam, there was a guide in Islam to know each other before someone get marriage. Muslims should learn it. 🙏🙏🙏

@m33a

2 жыл бұрын

"lewdless dating"

@amrulstynki6870

2 жыл бұрын

Ta aruf gak pake cipokan🤭

@antoverstappenburik3711

2 жыл бұрын

@@m33a cabul matamu.. non muslim selalu saja cari kesalahan islam.. kalian suka menutup mata dari kebenaran, lebih baik perbaiki dirimu sebelum berkomentar..

Marrying a stranger and then getting to know him/her? Thats even more questionable to me than the hole marriage thing itself. 🤔

@meg9672

4 жыл бұрын

Ta'aruf IS the process of getting to know each other, thus why it could take MONTHS before there's any decision about marriage. And if you find anything displeasuring from your partner, you can just cancel the whole thing. The interviewees here got the meaning of ta'aruf wrong, sadly. Well, ta'aruf is basically dating, just with ZERO chance to have sex or any intimacy (kissing or holding hands) outside of marriage.

@cinemaxxxmovies106

3 жыл бұрын

*whole

@understrengthbuild8040

2 жыл бұрын

It's questionable because you have the typical arrogant mindset that believes it's your way or the highway. Not surprising at all...

Hi Asian Boss, can i suggest some future video ideas? Indonesian people's opinion on Gundala Indonesian people's opinion on a culturist who claimed that Srivijayan Empire was a fictional story while in the reality Srivijayan Empire succesfully spreaded Malay language that evolved into present day Indonesian language Indonesian people's opinion on burning jungles in Riau Indonesian people's opinion on a Malaysian Taxi boss' mockery towards Gojek Indonesian people's opinion on Community Service Program in Penari Village story Interview with local Borneoans on new country capital city in Borneo Interview with Papuans about foreign tourists, i heard in Papua, foreign tourists' arrival on rise and it's predicted that Indonesian Papua will receive many foreign tourists or backpackers

@axxeNadZ

4 жыл бұрын

Yang Malaysia mengundang keributan aja 😂💀. Pejabat kita sendiri juga suka blunder kok. Lebih penting yang capital

@epg96

4 жыл бұрын

@@axxeNadZ udah biarin aja, biar heboh. Kan dia menghina negara kita, ada sebab ada akibat

@axxeNadZ

4 жыл бұрын

@@epg96 Yeee ini mah lo aja yang emang pingin ribut 💀

@girisuryamawandi8743

4 жыл бұрын

Tambahan opini tentang pernyataan seorang budayawan yang mengatakan bahwa kerajaan sriwijaya itu fiksi

@epg96

4 жыл бұрын

@@girisuryamawandi8743 ok gw tambahin

The issue with not spending a considerable amount of time together before marriage is that you don't get to know the real person but just what he/she shows themselves as. What if it turns into an abusive relationship after marriage? Is divorce socially accepted among Indonesians?

@oghuzdynasty777

4 жыл бұрын

Arranged marriage isn't straight to marriage in one day. They meet eachother but with family alongside you, you get to know your potential husband/wife by talking with them and asking questions to get know them personally. This doesn't happen straight away. And yes I think divorce is socially accepted in Indonesia.

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

Socially accepted? That to be honest would be depend on the person's faith and the society. AFAIK muslim has this Talak (warning) rules toward their spouse. They need to have 3 talak first before divorce can happen. But nowadays people doesn't seem to use that rules anymore, especially among celebrities. Yes, Indonesian celebrities have divorces rate of about 1/3 or 1/4 of their Hollywood counterparts. For Catholic Christian, divorce is not socially acceptable unless you get permission from Vatican.

@reganis

4 жыл бұрын

Getting divorce is not commonly accepted in Indonesia. The idea of skipping dating is more of a religion teaching saying that dating may lead to bad things such as premarital sex.

@FadazMada

4 жыл бұрын

They know something called Ta'aruf which getting to know your future partner's personality, motivations, dreams, job, family, etc, that can takes month to years in process, the different between dating is that both people cant engage in activities like kissing or having sex. Lets say, the lite version of dating

@ETERNlTUS

4 жыл бұрын

It's NOT socially accepted, but it's not uncommon.. Divorce vs Marriage ratio is just under 20% here (around 360.000 divorces recorded last year), the number of problematic household should be much higher than that.. But it's just a fraction of a bigger problem.. There's lot's of problem related to that : pregnant before marriage (and the guy just gone), underage pregnant (Junior-high or Highschool), rushed marriage (shotgun marriage). (all of those is a thing here.) Government really need to do something about SexEd to kids and THEIR PARENT, and other stuffs. ASAP..

I kinda agree. Casual dating is so time consuming. I might be okay with it if someone found me a partner that matches what I want and I match what they're looking for. As long as both partners agree with the marriage, I think it's fine.

For me marrige still sacred even here in Brazil, but date I think is necessary to know your partner right? I dont marriged with any of my girfriends after knowing her bether

@talasmadi6500

4 жыл бұрын

You’re right, in Islam you are allowed to get to know your potential partner just without physical intimacy I don’t understand why someone would marry without knowing anything about their spouse

@sinbads

4 жыл бұрын

@@talasmadi6500 you're not allowed to be alone with her/him.

@bendegorro754

4 жыл бұрын

Ta'aruf in simple explanation. Guy met girl, talking about their life plan such as how many kids they're gonna make, career situation, personal background (individual character and family). This progress must be done with honesty from both side. It's actually like dating without "The Fun" parts like hangout & sex, because in Islam, sex outside marriage is a sinful act. Ta'aruf is actually just following the original dating of old time. Marriage will reward or "access" you to the fun part like hangout & sex. In modern days, dating has change from get to know your future husband/wife, to just cutting access to the fun part. If you want to know your future partner, you actually can do that without the hangout and sex part, just visit their house or in public place and just talk about past, present & future life plan and that's what ta'aruf actually are. About the "fun" part like hangout & sex ... mostly on sex, sex life can be learn overtime after marriage, doesn't have to do outside marriage. If you're respect your partner, you will learn & understanding each other desire after a while. Just be honest to each other what kind position or kinks you're liking.

@nashmi-8609

4 жыл бұрын

you just want to sleep with girls you are not serious in marriage thats why islam didnt allow dating who are serious in the girl will come and ask her parents and then 'Khitba' hold and you can know each other then marry when you are ready

@Cleeon

4 жыл бұрын

Just keep never have sex with your girl friend before married. That's true love, to keep your friend Honor.

90% komentar disini tidak sepenuhnya paham konsep ta'aruf, namun berani berpendapat tentang ta'aruf. Sama halnya dengan meminta pendapat seorang dokter spesialis jantung tentang masalah kelainan pada mata😂😂😂 yang merusak islam itu orang-orang yang bukan ahlinya namun berani berpendapat soal islam. Kalau tidak tahu, bilang saya tidak tahu. Kebeneran yang setengah-setengah itu lebih berbahaya dari kebohongan.

We need Chinese mainland opinion on the Extradition bills

@MiChzP

4 жыл бұрын

The interviewer and interviewees will suddenly not exist anymore hours after the video being published

@kevinsong712

4 жыл бұрын

@@MiChzP 😂😂

@lumanliu8457

4 жыл бұрын

Please come. And be honest.

@Xunxunism

4 жыл бұрын

No need of any opinion on Chinese mainlanders.

@RiverKingfisher

4 жыл бұрын

instantly banned in 10second or less

My own sister married without dating and they are no longer together now so nope. Even the people who knows each other before married can get divorce, imagine you get married with someone you barely know smh

@meg9672

4 жыл бұрын

Well, marriage is like Russian roulette. If you hit the jackpot, you hit the jackpot. If you're lucky, you're lucky. I went through this ta'aruf process for my marriage, and still going on strong with my husband after so many years :)

@selaluoposisisiapapunpresi7982

4 жыл бұрын

my friend dating before marriage and they are no longer together now,,the problem is the girl got pregnant

@hirokogabrielaamanda3335

3 жыл бұрын

@@meg9672 good for you then. But sadly that's not working for others.

@meg9672

3 жыл бұрын

@@hirokogabrielaamanda3335 That's why I said it's like Russian Roulette.

I'm Chinese Indonesian... and this video makes me cringe... lol but I think it's just because they are very indoctrinated. I do agree with the 2 men saying it's more relaxed to date after marriage because the mindset is that being romantically involved before marriage is bad. You're reprimanding yourself but I understand his point because since my Chinese background is similarly conservative, dealing with parents prohibition and close family and friends is really mentally draining and frustrating. So I get where he's coming from. I don't like this mindset because it all centered on preserving chastity. Maybe a hundred years ago, it makes total sense because there's no birth control. So maybe it does protect women. Please bear in mind, in indo contraceptive pill/ECP can only be bought from doctors if you can show a marriage license. So, I see why the women think it's their only protection to follow this very old fashioned method. It's sad from my point of view but from theirs, they're happy because they are sticking to their beliefs and principles.

@Skweepa

4 жыл бұрын

"In indo contraceptive pill/ECP can only be bought from doctors if you can show a marriage license." Wow, that's so terrible and backwards.

@shngain100

4 жыл бұрын

@Senpai Gamer Indonesia is 50 years behind China in everything lol

@patriciaalfiona7542

4 жыл бұрын

Oooh, you really open my mind about the contraceptive thing. I don't know that there are history behind it 🤣 thank you

@BeaMonz

4 жыл бұрын

Skweepa yes it is. But please dont think that everything is backwards for women here. In terms of career and women in politics we have have equal rights. It’s just when it comes to stuff like this, it’s still very taboo.

@liongkienfai104

4 жыл бұрын

I'm Chinese Indonesian too. I agree. Wish Asian Boss got more diverse opinions

BREAKING NEWS: Divorce rates skyrocket in Indonesia

@akali2927

4 жыл бұрын

HAHAHAHA

@LochNessax3

4 жыл бұрын

🤔 I wonder why

I'm muslim from Indonesian also. It's okay .. if now i'm not dating someone. I want to pass and successful first :))

@michaelkato8999

4 жыл бұрын

then you are not following what your religion teach. Islam means submit, submit and follow everything your books said.

@resturamdani6205

2 жыл бұрын

@@michaelkato8999 Yes, and then? What is your problem?

Right now I have a date with my internet

Okay, so term ta'aruf we need to know the person first that mediated by their religion assistant ( murobbi) in their circle, or their mahram, or parents but everytime we meet that person we cannot be alone with that person, must there are mahram, so it can be controlled, Even after that meeting we feel don't suit with our criteria, we can decline it,

@norb4152

4 жыл бұрын

How would you ever really get to know someone that way?

Yo better try to spread knowledge about safe sex in teens young adults during dating rather than going straight to Marriage

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

That's what we want, but government and organizations deemed sex education as propaganda to promote free sex among youngsters. Yes, you read that right.

@xAyaTx

4 жыл бұрын

I'm not Muslim but I think it's actually against their religion for unmarried man and woman to be alone together, so premarital sex is illegal for them?

@Ichigokeeki.

4 жыл бұрын

@@xAyaTx doesn't matter if Muslim or Christian or single or married, sex education is super important. It's a shame that young people don't get educated properly. It's not just about being intimate, it's about staying healthy, safe, knowing about your own body and how to deal with obstacles. I don't know how religion could be a good reason not to learn about it. In my opinion it's plain stupid and a pity.

@xAyaTx

4 жыл бұрын

@@Ichigokeeki. I agree with you it's unfortunate that some countries don't learn of this because it's relatively taboo. it's so important and reduces teen pregnancies and keeping woman safe in general.

@hartannia9166

4 жыл бұрын

Of course it has been taught. and next step is to prevent teen or adult which is not married to have a sex. In islam having sex without married is a great sin.

Asal ga cerai, ga KDRT, ga selingkuh, dll ga masalah sih. Mahasiswa yang baru lulus jg banyak yang langsung nikah (nyari kerja belakangan).. Tapi buat yang terbaik, mending mantapin karir dulu, dan mantapkan komitmen buat berumah tangga, masalah pacaran atau nikah dulu gampanglah kalo udah mantap komitmen-nya.

@antoverstappenburik3711

2 жыл бұрын

Jahat sihh.. sama aja dah zina.. Na'udzubillah..

I'm Indonesian. Dating after married 🤣🤣nonsense !! Stay single much better rather than married with strangers.

@darkzz002

2 жыл бұрын

Lel

I'm Indonesian and I think Indonesia Tanpa Pacaran is an idiotic movement. That movement suggests marriage to avoid dating. That makes the rise of underage marriage rate in Indonesia. You can avoid dating, but that doesn't mean you suggest early marriage.

Dating is a very important part of courtship. You Date someone because you want to assess and see the if the person you are interested in is suitable for you and for a relationship. Dating is a great way to get to know your partner, so in my opinion eliminating that stage of courtship is a bad move. But to each his own i guess

@efmadscientist9184

4 жыл бұрын

assess? i love asses

@meg9672

4 жыл бұрын

Well, you're basically just explained the whole process of ta'aruf...

@antoverstappenburik3711

2 жыл бұрын

Masalah nya pacaran itu terkadang mendatangkan nafsu.. -_-

Will Asian Boss be covering the Hong Kong protests?

@durjam3734

4 жыл бұрын

They have I think

@makfoxin

4 жыл бұрын

Yes they did 2 months ago, but perhaps you did not see it yet. Np dude

Also the purpose of taaruf (based on them) is quite contradictary to the goal that they try to achieve, this is why the movement doesnt get me. Like, the idea of dating seems to be so extreme to their eyes? Consent man, its enough to prevent those things you dont want to happen.

As an Indonesian, I strongly disagree with this movement. IMO these people that support this movement only think about physical contact, sex. Marriage is more than that. Marriage is a new step for two people to commit for a better life together, and sex is only tiny part of it. Maybe thats why divorce rate is getting higher and higher. Learn to know people more, you dont have to have sex with everyone to know them.

@anjasakbar2075

Жыл бұрын

Are you really a Muslim? Dating before marriage is prohibited. Taaruf is a great decision 👍

you don't know but usually they will date and get married.. But just not having sex before marriage ..sorry i used translate

@hartannia9166

4 жыл бұрын

i know. but i doubt the first guy who made the girl lose her virginity is the one that girl is going to marry.

Speaking of Indonesia, Asian Boss, can you please make a video on the cultural disputes between Indonesia and Malaysia. In case you don't know, Indonesia has accused Malaysia of plagiarising various bits of traditional culture, such as rendang, satay, keris, batik, etc, which despite originating from what is now Indonesia, has been a part of Malaysian culture for centuries.

@ernestbun04

4 жыл бұрын

This. I would really like to see it

@yohanesleonardus2561

4 жыл бұрын

Gw sendiri sedikit g setuju dg ini, soalnya malaysia ama kita itu budayanya hampir mirip termasuk bahasa, bisa jadi memang mereka jg punya sesuatu yg sama dg kita. And then, kalo masalah plagiarism, sadar atau g sadar, Indonesia jg punya banyak hal yg condong ke plagiarisme.. contohnya, monumen2 yg mirip dg yg ad diluar negeri. Cuma pendapat doang, mau lihat dari dua sisi jg. Ty

@jeffreyzain

4 жыл бұрын

Ekmal Sukarno - That is an interesting idea. I’m Malaysian and I’m tired when we are ‘accused’ of stealing culinary heritage of Indonesia. I can’t speak for the rest of Malaysians, but I can assure you that I have never considered these food as solely Malaysian Malays. I am absolutely conscious of the NUSANTARA notion of Indonesians and Malaysians. Diaspora of Nusantara people brought along language, culture and food with them. No hate. Just love for our big sister, Indonesia ♥️

@ekmalsukarno2302

4 жыл бұрын

Jeffrey Zain The problem is, Indonesia sees these cultural icons as part of their national identity, i.e. what makes Indonesia a distinct nation from all of its neighbours. So, whenever Malaysia refers to these aforementioned cultural icons as Malaysian culture, and so forth, Indonesians feel like Malaysia is duplicating and plagiarising Indonesia's entire national identity, thus Indonesians feel like their country is no longer distinct from all of its neighbours, which upsets them.

@jeffreyzain

4 жыл бұрын

Ekmal Sukarno - Are you speaking on behalf of Indonesia? Or is that your personal view? I would like to know what YOU think of this alleged ‘plagiarism’.

So if Ta'aruf is not the marriage proposal, but more like a getting to know you period, how is it actually different from casual dating? Isn't dating the exact same thing, getting to know one another?

@lll3069

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly. It' laughable actually. They said that and did ta'aruf, but then when in the process of ta'aruf, they text their partner just like any other couple. In the past, indeed ta'aruf was very traditional. But nowaday, it's just another name of dating but has "more Islamic way" because they don't have physical contact (kiss, hug, etc)

@BRTxNL

4 жыл бұрын

@@whitecoal837So you agree on a term (1 month/3 months/1 year for example) and by the end of that time period you decide to move on to marriage or not?

@whitecoal837

4 жыл бұрын

@@BRTxNL it's not decided how long. First time, you meet each other to talk about future (everything) with another accompany (not just 2 of them). If your vision/mision is the same. Continue to next step, you meet each other's parents. If you parents agree, next step is meeting between parents and decide time to get married. It's totally different from casual dating.

@hanabatik717

4 жыл бұрын

@@whitecoal837 i was dating someone, and exactly like what taaruf did. Just like marriage, there are bad way and good way too.. :/ I agree about keeping it 'no sex b4 marriage', in my religion had that rule too, but we're still dating and not doing sex or anything like 'zinah',until marriage, so.. my mum & dad did that too. I didn't see dating is such bad thing at all as long as we could keep ourselves in the right path.

*_Second. Lmao no one dates anymore. Dating is overrated. Invest in yourself. That’s what I will do. Loving people comes with cost._*

@cspersky

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, relationship has gone tocxic though nowadays

@x0xxx007i

4 жыл бұрын

Skyyy Fizz Yep exactly.

@NaNa-kx6kh

4 жыл бұрын

I 1000000% agree

@johnnyquest1454

4 жыл бұрын

@@cspersky i think is partially because too the people u mix around, i grow up in a pretty "good" environment so obviously i cant empathize with people keep saying that the world is toxic and etc

@richardjones4259

4 жыл бұрын

Cynical much?

It’s true what they say, true beauty lies in the eye of the beer holder. ❤️

@soularrafi

4 жыл бұрын

I agree

@mmnn-qf4db

4 жыл бұрын

take beer !!!

In bandung we have the most *HIGHEST* divorce rate in south east asia , so i guess this can really answer the question lol

@tripriagiwiguna

4 жыл бұрын

proof? i live in bandung. is it quite hard to find widows except his/her spouse died. there is no divorcee in my neighbourhood.

@dawudsajo4446

4 жыл бұрын

Because husbands don't have more money and wives are gold digger that' the reason

Dear Asian Boss, who give you these ideas about Indonesia? I've lived over 20 years, I've never even heard this kind of thing. You should cover wider opinion from those in shopping mall, too. Next time please discuss and decide more about whether an idea like this can be used as a topic

Your sample only applies to certain group where divorce were allowed Then again some of them got caught dating after declared such thing

@HMassi-jn3ph

2 жыл бұрын

so what? Humans are weak. we dont always act according to our morals. We know whats best but we dont always do it. We know that eating vegetables and lean meat is best for our health but we slip and indulge in eating junk food. Are you a hypocrite for that? Whats hypocrite is to modify your morals to justify indulging in your desires.

I prefer dating without marriage.

@alienxthemostpowerfulficti2888

4 жыл бұрын

People with different opinions. Acceptance is the key :)

Seems like so many people here are misinformed about this whole ta'aruf thing. I am gonna share my friend's story as an example. Ofc it can be different, but I think the general process is the same. By the way, she's not part of the "no dating" move because it's just ridiculous. My close friend had her wedding two months ago and was on ta'aruf process with her husband for more than two years. How's the process? 1. You can ask your parent/family member/Islamic priest/close friend who's married (let's call them messenger) to introduce you to someone who they think is a good fit for you. If you already like someone, you can ask your messenger to ask him/her to have ta'aruf process with you. In my friend's case, she asked her close Islamic priest for her now husband. She was in the same class with him and she's interested in him because of his good attitude. They didn't know each other, just kinda classmate in one class. Yes, even if you are a girl you can ask first. 2. If both agreed, then they have to write some kinda CV. It's basic information about them plus they have to describe their personality, what do they want in their future, what they want in their future family, etc. They also have to be honest about what they're looking for on their husband/wife. And then, you have to add some kinda letter from five or more close friends/close family. Those letters are about your personality, your habit, pro and cons about you. It's all about honesty. 3. They read their partner's CV, then you decided whether you want to continue the process or not. Both parties have to agree. If both agreed, then they will continue to the "meeting" process. They will meet and accompanies by their close friends and the messengers. Basically, it's like the first date but accompanied by your close friends. When you meet, just like a first date, you both talk. In some cases close friends and messengers will sit beside you, some other will sit across the room/cafe/wherever. 4. After that, you both asked to continue the process or not. If both said yes, then it's the "getting to know each other more" period. They will meet (accompanied again) or text each other or calling each other. Just minus the hug/kiss/any physical thing. For how long? It depends. It can be weeks, month, years. In my friend's case, the husband asked for continue to marriage after one year in process but she said she's not ready yet. And then they continue the process until year two and then she said she's ready. She's confident about her future husband. Along the process, some will involve their parents in meeting. 5.When both parties ready and agree to get married, they will discuss the marriage. And then the man will propose the future bride "officially" by going to the girl's parents and asked for their daughter. Some grooms went alone, some other were accompanies by their parents. In most cases, both parties have told their parents so they'll say yes eventually when the future groom propose. 6. Wedding, then happily ever after :) Some people only knew ta'aruf from the Islamic priests story they heard on TV. Many of them said they were in the ta'aruf process for only month, some even just a week. While in reality, most of them in the process for at least six months.

The older I get the more frustrating it becomes seeing how ignorant and gullible young minds are to the posibilities around them. If people are worried about premarital sex then just use guidelines like group dating so no one is ever alone with another person where something could happen. Thats a WHOLE lot easier than marriage before dating.

@AyuAdel214

4 жыл бұрын

Random Person rightt

@understrengthbuild8040

2 жыл бұрын

🤦

@antoverstappenburik3711

2 жыл бұрын

Orang punya cara masing masing..

The concept of dating in the first place is to knowing one each other personalities, but most of youngsters in indonesia they take it too far, like free sex and get pregnant in the very young age, so most of the women become the victim. So thats why the movements is rising up, and the point is to honor the women's dignity.

Dating after marriage, isn't that honeymoon 🙄🙄 ???

No offence, but this is the most depressing society I've ever seen. Thanks Asian Boss?

@nochucomethru1909

4 жыл бұрын

it is actually not. it's just Asian Boss always covers similar issues.

@akshay7035

4 жыл бұрын

@@nochucomethru1909 I hope it's not. But its sad to see everyone following BS in the name of religion.

@nochucomethru1909

4 жыл бұрын

@@akshay7035 hah believe me it's not. in fact in our daily lives we always turn everything into a joke lol we actually got more things to talk about but sadly this is the part Asian Boss loves to cover. Maybe because it attracts more views.

@Hboybatman

4 жыл бұрын

@@akshay7035 They have more successful and happy relationships than most Western relationships that end in failure, depression, self-loathing, etc. Just because it's a difference you can't comprehend doesn't make it "BS" or barbaric.

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

@@akshay7035 lol, most people I know doesn't even follow those rules. Few of them admittedly ate pork.

Degrading woman rights if the woman feel forced, but in Islam woman also have right to choose what they want. If you don't like the guy, u shouldn't married him!

Are Japanese really not dating anymore? Are Koreans really not dating anymore? Are Indonesians really not dating anymore? What the hell is happening in Asia!!??

@boredom9959

4 жыл бұрын

They're not dating anymore

@misakura6081

4 жыл бұрын

In Philippines...i think the younger generations are more focused on their career paths. A lot are going overseas for self and family. No hate, just love.

I am dissapointed in the lack of coverage of Hong Kong, seems like this should be the channel to give the protesters a voice...

@adian5589

4 жыл бұрын

they already covered that topic

@Simtar123

4 жыл бұрын

@@adian5589 i know, they made one video, then moved on. I would have liked to see more coverage of the situation, because it is a continuing issue and needs exposure

@adian5589

4 жыл бұрын

@@Simtar123 yep i agreed that they should do more, considering the protest continued to this very day. I think Asian Boss could take on different perspective such as China mainland citizen view on this case

As an Indonesian, I think that getting married immediately is a bad idea. Dating before marriage is a good thing because you have time to explore that person and see if he/she is good for you or not.

yep, im indonesian muslim, attended study on islamic school (junior high-senior high). but still, even tho this movement has a good teory, but its still lack of fact that its an effective one, there are so many people (especially woman) who find out the true pesonality of their partner was bad (lazy, abusive, cheater, etc) which lead the woman to despair. and dont forget that divorce rate in Aceh were really high (remembering this movement reallyreally popular there). but still i know some people who still together and live happily after ta'aruf. so simply this movement more like gambling, you dont know much your future-partner personality, and you probably gonna regret after you know the "real personality" after the marriage or after you pregnant. but if you got the best one, well thats mean god's on your side. so heck yes, i still prefer dating first, to get to know your future-partner personalities much farther. and for you who still prefer dating like me, just remember that you have limit, dont broke someone child :)

"Dating after marriage is better" wtf don't you understand with the word dating? lmao

@JeanB-br9nw

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah, i also wondered if they misuse the meaning of the word dating. Getting intimate or having sex is definately not a part of my way of dating. It might evolve to that, but then you have passed the stage of dating.

@raisha99

4 жыл бұрын

In Indonesia, dating or "pacaran" is like hanging out having a date being lovey-dovey and all that, that's what they meant. And ofc you can do that before and/or after being married.

@5rahma

4 жыл бұрын

Dating in indonesian is "pacaran", and people use that word to describe romantic activities they do with their partners which can of course lead to sexual activities. There should be more context to the translation tbh

@meg9672

4 жыл бұрын

The ironic thing is ta'aruf basically the same as dating/getting to know each others. Lol. Just that you'll always have a third wheel, or even fifth 😂 I could only laugh inside hearing their answers 😂😂

@cryptomology9137

4 жыл бұрын

Dating here in Indonesia is about sex etc. Talking and meeting up can be called as ta'aruf too

I married without dating my husband, we immediately married. 13 years later and we're still happily married.

@HMassi-jn3ph

2 жыл бұрын

Its all about your mindset If you both honestly want it to work and do what it takes, then you unlikely to have any problems.

@frenzybuzz3703

8 ай бұрын

Cuz u guys turned out to be compatible. Imagine how dangerous the situation would be specially for a woman if both parties weren't compatible.

I dont see why anybody would want to marry before dating. Like, what if that random guy/girl is abusive to your relationship, or have completely different views from you? that doesn't help with your marriage if you divorce half a year later. Dating is about getting to know your partner, and if you date for a month or 2 and break up, thats fine! you just move on, and you find somebody that would be more suited for yourself.

They look exactly like Filipinos matter of fact if you wouldn't have told me it was Indonesia I would have thought it was the Philippines

I don't understand how we have advanced so much as a culture but we still cannot let go of tradition and old views.

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

@@HenryYoungx Especially when those tradition and old views has wisdom behind it, like preserving nature and teach the balance of man with their surrounding. Deep isolated tribes are now losing wisdom and tradition as the young generations leave behind for a chance for a better life in urban society. For example several Dayak tribes are starting be more and more becoming cityfolk. Old songs and language has steadily decline into extinction.

@krspybvcn2460

4 жыл бұрын

@@HenryYoungx tradition is fine but not when it causes into question people's freedom of choice, yes technically it's not being dictated just yet, but look at within Christian communities where they have silly rules like girls can't wear pants or make up, they may be "free" to make their own choice but then they get looked down on. Tradition isn't good if it keeps you in a box.

@batterysurf

4 жыл бұрын

why should we throw away traditions like old machinery?

@ivycesilia4787

4 жыл бұрын

bc humans them self still figuring out which one work best.

I have another alternative, DATING without MARRIAGE! Who's agree with me?

@DenarNaish

4 жыл бұрын

I'm with you my good sir

@FerdiIrawanID

4 жыл бұрын

Ketika normies bersabda

@lord_tepal9002

2 жыл бұрын

Buset lagi ngesroll komen kenapa tiba tiba Nemuin komen bang eno

First like thanks Asain Boss!!!!!!

Maaaan, I'm way too early and I feel uncomfortable without comments to read smh 😪

Marriage is really a thought-provoking thing. At a young age, it is a problem for both men and women, and at a larger scale, it is a social problem.☺

lol ta'aruf doesnt meant that you go straight got married just like that, there many considerations in the process. either dating before marriage or not does not guarantee you will know your partner true personality at the end of the day it depends on yourself how to handle your own love life. anyways dating is such waste of time.

@hartannia9166

4 жыл бұрын

i agree

It seems the culture of Indonesia has shifted. My father remarried and stayed so, to an Indonesian, over 20 years ago. Knowing my step mom, who is Muslim, I think she would think of this Ta' aruff idea has silly. A recipe for a lot of unhappy couples. I'm not sure it's because the culture has shifted a little more conservative or is because she has lived in the US for over 30 years and went to college in the UK before that.

i understand that ta/aruf is to prevent the issues that may or may not come up with intimacy not built on a solid foundation of commitment... but for me personally, taking risks can mean reaping large rewards. dating is like betting all your chips (or a smaller amount, depending on how comfortable you feel with the other person(s) ) on the chance that no matter what issues you face with the other person you can work through it together. its like having a partner in a game of poker. you get to see your hand AND their hand and you can make your bets from there...lol i realize i am analyzing dating with a gambling metaphor (similie?) and that is probably going to make people think i am crazy but.... im just trying to share my perspective.its fun to see what other people think sometimes amirite?! good luck to all you lovers/ta'arufers out there !!

This is pretty depressing, actually. "Dating can lead to sex outside marriage or intimacy!" Yes, if both people agree to have sex or display affection outside of marriage, in which case it's F I N E. It's okay. It's part of life. It's 2019, and we shouldn't be scared or ashamed of being human anymore, please. Thanks.

@FancyKerbloops

4 жыл бұрын

@Agatha jay How? People holding hands is going to doom you and your family? Elaborate.

@FancyKerbloops

4 жыл бұрын

@Agatha jay I don't agree with taking away people's privileges or stigmatizing them for the way they choose to live. If people want to treat themselves and others like they can't be trusted, that's fine (assuming the worst in people is not healthy for anyone). But most people have no trouble controlling themselves. People are waiting later to have children these days, waiting until they're actually ready - but using contraceptives for those intimate moments with people they love and care about. Things are moving in a positive direction already. Abortion rates are actually pretty low in the grand scheme of things. If you're against the flooded foster care/adoption system, it seems odd that you'd be anti-choice as well. But stranger things have happened. Thanks for explaining your thought process, though. We may disagree but I 100% appreciate you taking the time to respond and clarify.

I just can't bellieve this movement😣 There are too many weird ppl

@ivycesilia4787

4 жыл бұрын

indeed

@shanesliver4603

4 жыл бұрын

@@ivycesilia4787 wanted to say the same things

Just an FYI.. it's the minority within the Muslim communities that does "Taaruf" in Indonesia. Where you don't date before marriage and get to know one another in weeks or months with a help of a mediator. However, yes it's growing in traction among some parts of the Muslim society. Majority of Muslims Indonesians however actually date before marriage still. To get to know the other person better. It's been going on for years. And FYI majority of Indonesians even if we do date, we don't have sex before marriage. So the Indonesian style of dating is very different than the general style of dating in the West. But of course there are those who do have sex when dating. But in general the style of dating in Indonesia is different. Usually apart from getting to know each other by communicating, it's for going out on dates to eat&drink, find amusement in the public to have fun like watching movies & going on trips etc hahaha

🤔 I’ve never heard of such a thing, this is very interesting particularly at the end of the video

Imagine marrying someone you don’t even know. Love doesn’t come out of nowhere. No wonder Indonesia is not a first world country.

@nochucomethru1909

4 жыл бұрын

??? ??? ??? did you even watch it properly? they have the so-called "ta'aruf" before choosing to marry someone which is a phase of getting to know the partner better

@Klaruza

4 жыл бұрын

It's not always a stranger, you can become a friends first then go Ta'aruf, atleast I have seen people who once a high school friends then become a husband and wife without dating first

@JohnDoe-ug3su

4 жыл бұрын

it's a Moslem movement

@noticemebitch5671

4 жыл бұрын

It's not indonsia , it's Islam culture

You guys should've all honestly head straight to the "Tanpa Pacaran" (no dating) community and check out how much bank the founder makes 😂😂😂

This movement is ridiculous, it's beetwen healthy or bad relationship, sets of priority, not about the relationship itselfs, It's a need to know your partner's character, family, and other things. How your future will disrupt, or sex before marriage is on everybody's own personal decision, don't blame the datings. There's always a bad sides of everything, skip dating for example, then if it turns out they didn't match? Then what, divorce? It is better to bring or encourages people into a healthy relationship than banning the dating phase.

I was live and born in indonesia for more than 35 years, and i don't think this is a major movement at all, this definitely will create a missleading about Indonesian society, and kind of surprised how can Asian Boss can found some peoples with those kind of ideas

It sounds as if ta'aruf is not that different from dating. It's a period of time for them to get to know each other just it's more formal and seems as if viewed as part of the marriage. It's not like you have to find "the one" for marriage, just someone you can be compatible with. The only problems it can lead to if I'm understanding correctly is that it can be easier to take advantage of someone through this method, less independence (although this isn't necessarily a bad thing), and slower such that you can't meet as many people to find someone better. The title makes it sound much worse, almost as if they have no choice in the matter. On the other hand, the benefits seem to be purely for religious reasons. So in the end I think I'd stick to dating.

While most people wait years and years of dating and living together until marrying in the west, people in the east just marry before knowing his/her partner. My parents started dating when they were 17 and 19 y old, and they lived together since they were about 18/20, but they didn’t marry until they were like 33 y old, just about when I was born (they already had 2 daughters born at 30 and 32 ((my sisters lol))) I know a lot of people who have well stablished families, they live together have teenagers, but they never got married, that’s actually pretty common where I live. Marrying is over rated, I mean you don’t need to be married to love a person, or to have kids or stuff, in a lot of cases people just get married because of the economical factors, and sometimes because of the love but lately the first case is more common.

So this is how the concept of arranged marriages began. Good insight from history.

Another case of subjugating logic to religious rules. Decades ago, weddings were similar in my country. The parents decided on the marriage of a couple. The property and the dowry were negotiated with each other. The marriage took place, but divorce was not allowed. Couples lived a life oriented to the birth and upbringing of many children. A simple life with a lot of work and a lot of compromises. Infidelity was punished with public humiliation even with death. Of course, in 99% of the cases the victim was always the woman.

Hey Marie? Are free on this weekend? Damn you are looking stunning

@tazboy1934

4 жыл бұрын

SULTAN Mustapha Jallaludin Pasha Han zindabad 👍🌹💪

Me: an Indonesian. Me also: doesn’t know about this movement. As far as I know, in fact this “movement” is done by some Muslims only (not all, and definitely not the other religions).. I think you shouldn’t put “Indonesians” as the title bcs it is kind of a bias there :)

@liongkienfai104

4 жыл бұрын

Agree. Even as an Indonesian I didn't know what ta'aruf was.

There's a lot that can go wrong with a shot gun wedding. From not loving each other, abusive mentally verbally or physically, money problems, mental problems, lower body problems,

YIKEs... jumping into a marriage without dating and falling in LOVE???? sounds like a quick marriage and divorce disaster..!!

@nickswalker9898

Жыл бұрын

😂

How can you said for protect girl? Smart girl can think what they do is good or not for her self Please people Be smart :( Dating for know each orther, not only for sex. And not all dating people do sex :) Please :(

@afiif80

4 жыл бұрын

biar gak salah kata, gw balas pakek Indo aja y :v memang gk semua org pacaran melakukan sex, tpi apa salahny jga sih mereka "menjaga" diri mereka khilaf bisa datang kapan aja, jdi lebih baik menghindariny kan kemudian untuk saling mengenali 1 sama lain. itu lah gunanya ta'aruf. taaruf itu semacam pacaran juga tpi bedanya, ketika mereka "pacaran" harus ada org ketiga yg menemani entah itu si bapak/ ibu / sodara laki2 si perempuan. d sanalah pendekatan mereka utk mengetahui satu sama lain . dan jga tentuny ada batas2an tertentu. nggak boleh asal pegang / meluk karena bukan mahramnya. makany taaruf itu gk ada waktuny, tergantung dari kedua belah pihak ini bagaimana menyikapiny. kalau cocok ya lanjut k menikah. kalau nggak ya udah berhenti. btw gw setuju gerakan tanpa pacaran, tpi utk point nikah muda sih enggak ya :v btw cmiiw kalau ada salah kata wallahu'alam

@adrianandhika

4 жыл бұрын

People can't force you taaruf but you also can't force people to do dating right? It's their way not every Indonesian way well for me I choose No status love for now XD

When you're too early to not be able to read comments

I think that dating has different meanings for people around the world e.g if i want to get married but i don't like someone then i would ask my parents to introduce me to someone first we will meet few times in a cafe and have chat about life interests and goals etc(known as taaruf)during this time i can say that i am dating someone but i can't even imagine having any sort of physical relationship with them as i am a muslim but just getting married to someone whom i have never seen is a no for me😊💕

You know, ta'aruf is also the same as dating. Just that you have a marriage as the goal, and you'll always have a third person whenever you date. And ta'aruf doesn't always means you'll really be married to your ta'aruf partner, if you find something displeasing from them, you can just cancel your ta'aruf. Basically it's just dating (you can breakup whenever you want), but with a certainty you'll never be able to do the DO before marriage. LOL. My first ta'aruf brought me to my marriage, but for my husband, I'm his 4th ta'aruf.

I dont know that but i would definitely marry Marie!

much of this would be different if contraception was socially accepted

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

Socially accepted... well that's true. I mean, we do have condom being sold in supermarket and even birth control pills. But not sex education, yep no sir, sex education promotes the sin of free sex according to governments and some social organization. I kid you not.

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

@Posted By Oddity thats why I brought a copy of marriage certificates with me whenever I do PDA with my wife LOL. Just in case of outrage mob.

That's why there is the engagement part " ta'aruf" so the couple know each other more and if they don't get well they seperate , it's better than dating

I would say court before marriage and date after marriage. During courtship u get to know them for a period of about a year but the relationship is pretty platonic, doesn't get physical at all, and it's purpose is to see if they're a great fit. U might have more than a mating prospect but eventually u'll end up marrying the best fit

Where are the interviews with West-Papuans in Indonesia?

@tripriagiwiguna

4 жыл бұрын

spot on! i want to complain too. where is orang sunda too? we are 15% of total population, why only betawi/orang jakarta.

@intanendri

4 жыл бұрын

Tri Priagi Wiguna eh malih yg dia maksud lanjutan dari video demo papua kemarin-_- karna yg diinterview org jakarta doang ga ada org papuanya

Who needs dating when you can hang out with those cool Komodo dragons !!! Am I right !!

@vitoluchishi3211

4 жыл бұрын

lol savage

@YashSharma-wu7kr

4 жыл бұрын

I wish they could fly..

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

@@YashSharma-wu7kr Oh they can.... when I put them on an airplane...

@YashSharma-wu7kr

4 жыл бұрын

@@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655 how do you sneak in , I was stopped at the security check

@flightlesscoffeebirdboy9655

4 жыл бұрын

@@YashSharma-wu7kr what security check? I just climbed the fence and run toward hangar.

Dating is still generally a new culture for Indonesians. Our old generations mostly married without dating. Their couple were chosen by their parents and they didn't have own rights to choose.

@halfvolley11

2 жыл бұрын

most men will have sex and leave.

The problem is sometimes dating usually related with the tendency of leading to any form of sexual interactions which isn't really the culture here. I personally sees dating as actually just a friend but a close one and they liked each other and doesn't bring harm to anybody. To me there's good dating and bad dating. Although, in Islam regardless of it, it'll still prohibited because there's no guarantee people who dates not deviate into something despicable.