One time, I accidentally stepped on my friend's mother's foot while I was wearing boots and she screamed, "GOD BLESS AMERICA" instead of cursing and to this day, that is one of the best alternative curses I've heard.

@bonniemoon6790

5 жыл бұрын

That is majestic lol

@nolimits9876

5 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣

@jocelyn3721

5 жыл бұрын

My papa always used that one. :)

@is4b3l4.h

5 жыл бұрын

Lol that's what I say when I stub my toe XD

@gwenyverreking5565

5 жыл бұрын

Okay I’m using that one!!😂😂

I have one friend who is really a spitfire, she likes to use Tim Hawkins Cristian cuss words. A guy bumped into her and knocked her over recently and instead of cussing at him she yelled "WHAT THE BLEEP!! WATCH IT YOU SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT!! " I could hardly contain my laughter when the guy turned around and said, " oh! You like Tim Hawkins too!" And he walked away.

@kaded_cat

4 жыл бұрын

Omg that guy. Bumped into her at the right time

@andreahenning8076

3 жыл бұрын

@@kaded_cat More like it was the right guy to bump into her... can you imagine being called a "son of a motherless goat" in anger and not getting the reference?? lol

@kaded_cat

3 жыл бұрын

@@andreahenning8076 yeah 😂😂😂 You son of a motherless goat!

@kaded_cat

3 жыл бұрын

@@andreahenning8076 You tooting knocked me over!

@andreahenning8076

3 жыл бұрын

@@kaded_cat Lol, that works too.

After being in labor for 29 hours I let out a “good gravy!” And everyone in the room started cracking up.

@MissRaex

4 жыл бұрын

Lol xD I would have cracked up too!

@rianaahmed5462

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

@indodinoyoutube

4 жыл бұрын

😂

@cbsumm88

4 жыл бұрын

Jamie 3boymom 😂😂

@Confoil

3 жыл бұрын

That's an awful name for a kid... No wonder everyone in the room laughed.

Does anyone else think it's even more funny when he laughs at his own jokes? LOL

@graceho7479

3 жыл бұрын

It makes me laugh because it’s so wholesome!

@mickib1592

3 жыл бұрын

Him and the shrieking women. Totally lose it...

@robertrupnow6409

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah

@listeningeyes9990

3 жыл бұрын

Miss Mayan, It makes his routine that much more funnier when he tries hard not to laugh😊.

@codyhannahmary83

3 жыл бұрын

Like Billy Connolly!

Having grown up Baptist, "Son of a Baptist Preacher" got me. XD

@PatriciaGruteke-gl1yl

8 ай бұрын

I like this one😊

"Who's got the crapola?? I need it to color my tree trunk!" Hahaha!!! 😂😂😂

@joshchandler9534

6 жыл бұрын

yall need to stop taking my crapola

@cyaninkling2638

6 жыл бұрын

STOP TAKING MY CRAPOLA!!!

@randomthoughts5094

6 жыл бұрын

The sad part is I literally say that all the time

@frankiecousineau6179

5 жыл бұрын

I have to take a crapola

We also have "nincompoop," "what in tarnation?" and my friend made the word "conflabbit."

@abbeyhelmus7890

5 жыл бұрын

@@supermarioplumberbros4839 I'll tell her that!

@arandomuser9459

4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes I call my brother “nincompoop”. Got it from a comic book and used it ever since.

@laceandribbonsviolin

4 жыл бұрын

Nooo! You beat me to “tarnation”

@thesilverblader6714

3 жыл бұрын

There's also" Buscuits!" Or the one I made up"Applesauce!" It can be used as an expletive of surprise or disappointment.

@ohome9893

3 жыл бұрын

For some reason a couple years ago I would say: "Poodle sticks!" XD So weird XD

you can really hear the country boy come out when he says " H E double hockey sticks"

@fredmckinney8933

2 жыл бұрын

He's from here in Missouri, albeit the greater St. Louis area, aka "that other Missouri" to the small Ozarks town we're in.

The first goats were motherless.

@thecorbscurlyshow5410

4 жыл бұрын

That is true

@MagnetMagicGirl

3 жыл бұрын

That’s beautiful!! 🤣

@aubreysummers1729

3 жыл бұрын

😱

@mickib1592

3 жыл бұрын

You need to open for Tim. Just sayin...!! 👍

@101moosefan

3 жыл бұрын

Son of a motherless goat is from the "The three Amigo's

"Jeepers" - Scooby Doo anyone? We were already being taught alternate cuss words in childhood shows.

@ryanpulliam8987

4 жыл бұрын

Actually that was jinkies

@marianaflores2964

4 жыл бұрын

lmao, both work

@jaketimm5429

4 жыл бұрын

Mother of Pearl SpongeBob

@raesour2806

4 жыл бұрын

My dad says jeepers all the time

@raydoestuff

4 жыл бұрын

lol exactly!!!!

When my daughter was having her fractured arm set she kept saying things like “fart nuggets” and “cheesy pizza” and I swear I have never gotten so many strange looks from a doctor.

I asked my friend how to stop cussing, and she sent me the link to this video...I regret nothing

"Son of a motherless goat" 😂

@EddyGurge

7 жыл бұрын

Great line from The Three Amigos.

@that1shadyfella779

7 жыл бұрын

EddyGurge I used to use that before I knew what the three amigos was. Which was up until about 6 months ago... but still.

@de_smith

7 жыл бұрын

So, that one time, God created the first two goats and they had a son....

@NotSteveCook

7 жыл бұрын

ORANGE juice From "The Three Amigos". It's an insult spoken by Steve Martin's character.

@joshmorgan9374

7 жыл бұрын

This poor baby goat's mother was probably shot by a hunter in the middle of a meadow. Oh wait wrong thing.

"Stop taking my crapola!"

@lizardbrick8939

4 жыл бұрын

wolf moon and Potterheadtexan Studios suck eggs!

I’m eating Mac-n-cheese while watching this and I almost had to clean my screen a second time.

@shah5610

3 жыл бұрын

lmao

@fredmckinney8933

3 жыл бұрын

What in the Mac and Cheese?

@phoenixe-sports1836

10 ай бұрын

@@fredmckinney8933Mac and cheese

I remember returning as an adult to my childhood church one Christmas, and I was standing towards the back of the sanctuary near by the table where they collected the christmas cards to exchange, and one of the sweet little old ladies that was just as sweet and little and old as I remembered her, came into the sanctuary took one look at the christmas cards, opened her mouth and I could not believe the words that came out of her mouth... "Ah Cranberries" ... I stifled both a laugh, and a shocked expression.

So....why isn't he more popular? You don't need to be all sexual and explicit to be funny! This guy is proof!

@Reubentheimitator6572

7 жыл бұрын

Sam Cuentas Well, maybe we as Christians would be the only ones who would like him.

@Scarlett-Hofferson

6 жыл бұрын

you shouldn't have have to hide what you believe just because you want to liked

@randomfangirlqueen

6 жыл бұрын

I also like John Crist and Studio C

@jimforjzs777

6 жыл бұрын

He goes against word of God. I don't think He is funny period.

@xcardzx-1395

6 жыл бұрын

jimforjzs777 uh no he doesnt stop being so religious

My one friend, when he is angry; while he never cusses, he lets everyone know. He screams "*PROFANITY*" at the top of his lungs. Makes everyone laugh so hard.

@stormyphillips251

5 жыл бұрын

Your friend sounds freaking amazing 😂😂

@nightwarper1760

5 жыл бұрын

Does he actually say the word profanity or just actual profanity

@NathanWhitt23

5 жыл бұрын

Savitar Shut the front Door you Fart Knocker.🤣

@madam-mint

5 жыл бұрын

I need to try that one

@berwynsigns4115

5 жыл бұрын

@@nightwarper1760 It sounds like he actually yells the word "profanity"

I was at Chick-fil-A with my mom, and someone zoomed passed her. She yelled “you actually have a stop sign DILWEED I say that all the time now. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

@RosesR4U

3 жыл бұрын

Oh wow , that’s a good one ❗️👏🏻👏🏻my new favorite to use

I don't know why I find the "Pat Sajak" one so funny. I've heard people use "Bob Saget" the inflection makes it really sound like a cuss word. But the "Pat Sajak?" LOL

@taylorboys3791

3 жыл бұрын

I thought he was going to say "AND VANNA WHITE!"

I've been trying to work on not cussing, so now when I get cut off in traffic I just yell out, "BLESS YOU!"

@geraldfrost4710

4 жыл бұрын

The Southern Lady phrase "That's nice, that's real nice!" is the translation from "Fuck y'all to h E double hockey sticks!"

@raydoestuff

4 жыл бұрын

me too!!!!!!!!!!!

@NBK1122

4 жыл бұрын

The other Southern Lady phrase: Bless your heart!

@vickiweber4718

4 жыл бұрын

I say "fudge you"

@thesilverblader6714

3 жыл бұрын

@@vickiweber4718 woah that was close! To close.

They should have had cottonheadedninnymuggins

@elirabego-cardoso8478

6 жыл бұрын

Dude. Yes.

@crazygabers6616

5 жыл бұрын

What a god

@downbntout

5 жыл бұрын

Racist, much? Or sounds like it

@wafflglittr1434

5 жыл бұрын

YEEESSSS I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING! Loool

@shadowlikesbeans2765

5 жыл бұрын

ELF

My friend, brother, and I scream "AW TOOT" every time we see each other.😂

I love how he uses a NY accent when he says "hey who's got the crapola over here?" lol

I know someone who literally says "bad word" every time she wants to cuss.

@MasterAnakinSkyWalker

7 жыл бұрын

beththeREDfan - if you've seen the movie Ramona & Beezus, Ramona says the word "guts" when she tells her family she's gonna say a bad word. She just yells "Guts" at the top of her lungs. It's funny. The movie was crap, but that line was hilarious.

@lemoncoconut7402

7 жыл бұрын

what the cuss is smth i heard someone use.

@carolecook1116

6 жыл бұрын

beththeREDfan ~ Heard that & also sweet "oh cuss." A relative says "sassafrass," & louder, when extra perturbed, "SASSAFRASS TEA!"😂

@sharonbertolet3272

6 жыл бұрын

beththeREDfan XD

@randomfangirlqueen

6 жыл бұрын

beththeREDfan bleep.

For some reason he reminds me of Robin Williams

@skylarreese4785

6 жыл бұрын

Sanguine Dream YESSSSS!!!

@carolecook1116

6 жыл бұрын

Didn't. Now~Yaaasss👍

@nunya9555

5 жыл бұрын

Without the demonic possession

@whoohooles123

5 жыл бұрын

and Bryan Regan 😁

@TheShminkin4

5 жыл бұрын

Yus

Once i got made at someone and just yelled "FOR THE LOVE OF VEGGIETALES" at them

@jamesfair9751

3 жыл бұрын

Well if someone made you I would think you would be appreciative and thank them. Most people go their whole lives trying to get made and someone did it for you!!??!!

@RyanClark-gr9yb

2 жыл бұрын

People who don’t use auto correct are going straight to heel.

@hollyburbach9917

Жыл бұрын

Bob and larry would like a word lol

When my husband is really angry: *"Son of a bean-dip, mother-FRITO."*

I watched this while working in the kitchen..... my 10 year old son found me keeled over, wheezing with tears streaming from my eyes. He thought I was upset! I haven't laughed this hard in years. My stomach muscles are sore!😆🤣😆🤣

What happens when the son of a biscuit meets the son of a biscuit eater?

@ursaminor9780

6 жыл бұрын

Time And Space Well, then everything goes to H-E--double-hockey-sticks.

@phoenixx435

5 жыл бұрын

Mind.......blown.

@littlejoe9381

5 жыл бұрын

The son of a biscuit eater apologizes to the son of a biscuit for all of the biscuits his parent has eaten in the past. Apology is accepted, they shake hands, give a pat on the back and all is well. No more biscuit eating.

@SnakeEyesOfficial42

5 жыл бұрын

Bad things, my dude, bad things...

@annemchurchwell

5 жыл бұрын

They date each others sisters and get married and have biscuit children of course.

Still one of my favorite bits. There actually is such a thing as a crud muffin, made with leftover ice cream, chocolate chips, marshmallows, and other sweet remnants you have laying around. I think I'll make some. Thanks for the idea.

@jamesengland7461

11 ай бұрын

Well, shove it in your piehole 😂

Couple things.... I love how Tim gets a kick out of himself and ALSO TIM DOESNT GET ENOUGH CREDIT FOR HIS VOICES!!!!!!!!!

@maryerb6062

2 жыл бұрын

Tell me about it. He knows just how to use 'em!

I lost it at fartknocker 😂😂😂

@MasterAnakinSkyWalker

7 жыл бұрын

The LEGO Cantina- I used to say fartknocker all the time

@VueiyVisarelli

7 жыл бұрын

Me, too, +Wingfan...in _middle school_ ...

@adammilette3076

7 жыл бұрын

I lost it when he started knocking

@jamesonsummers

7 жыл бұрын

The LEGO Cantina I lost it at "Crud Muffin" but I laughed so hard that I cried at 'Fart Knocker"!

@autumnchandler7744

7 жыл бұрын

The LEGO Cantina I was freaking in tears when he said FART KNOCKER!!!! I dead lol

He forgot “Go forth and multiply!

@elihenline6089

3 жыл бұрын

or "Be fruitful and multiply, just not in those exact words."

@donnaevans5131

3 жыл бұрын

Never heard that one but I like it!

@shyowl3453

3 жыл бұрын

Go ingest a satchel of bananas

@abigails5273

3 жыл бұрын

Hold on I need to write this one down

@edgepixel8467

2 жыл бұрын

The cute hypocrisy of yearning for a good old classic “go fuck yourself,” but without the guilt.

Who’s at the door daddy, oh some fartknocker tell him to go away😂

A friend uses "turdbug" and "turdbucket" interchangeably. I closed a sharp folding knife on my thumb and started to shout something, but redirected when I realized my 12yo daughter was right there, and ended up shouting "SON OF A SEABISCUIT".

Going to memorize these just so I can use them when I drive 😂

I want a ringtone of Hawkins saying toot so whenever someone I don't like texts me it's like, "aweeee toot!"

@ana-xp7qd

5 жыл бұрын

AJ Samano lmao good idea

Was in the hospital having an outpatient procedure done, no anesthesia, in a triage area. There were curtained cubicles, no walls, knowing there were children there, I was trying very hard not to curse, what flew out of my mouth caused a wave of giggles, and I cannot live it down to this day..."Holy Banana Peels!"

Nobody: The women in the front who's never heard a joke: HAHAHAHA

I laughed so hard at these, I scared my dogs! They're looking at me like "What the Bob Barker is going on? Shut the front door!"

@IndianTelephone

6 жыл бұрын

Aww toots!

@moonwalkerangel7008

6 жыл бұрын

I use shut the front limo door.

@spookylad1367

5 жыл бұрын

BENJAMIN BARKER!!! someone is bound to get the reference I just know it lol

@trentmckenzie343

5 жыл бұрын

Same

@DYLANJJK94

5 жыл бұрын

Lol

No matter how many times I watch this, I can't stop laughing 😂

Where is “elderberry”? As in, “your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries?”

@benjaminnewlon7865

4 жыл бұрын

i bleepin' love that movie

@boldthaddeusquil4700

4 жыл бұрын

@@benjaminnewlon7865 fuck yea where is it

@margaretbonnette678

4 жыл бұрын

@@boldthaddeusquil4700 It's from Monty Python...I think it's from their Holy Grail movie. British comedies, especially the old ones, are rather good.

@Ravel.Alex43

4 жыл бұрын

Sweet Tea and Succulents, 5 is WAY out there.

@pathwalkermmjdh6346

3 жыл бұрын

Yaaas!! Monty Python!

I work with children and one day I walked into a table and just yelled out: potato skins!!! Its the first thing that came into my head

"shut the front door!" 'okay.' "I didn't even know it was open!" #bestoneyet

BOLSHEVIK! ... that was close.... *cracks up laughing*

@spookylad1367

5 жыл бұрын

Comrade?

@kristinas490

5 жыл бұрын

Ikr Especially in America where we enjoy capitalism.

@bolshevikbrothers

5 жыл бұрын

Mhm.

@adrianwilliams6908

5 жыл бұрын

I have taught my kids to call their turds "communists"

@bolshevikbrothers

5 жыл бұрын

Adrian Williams, XD.

Don't forget the Southern swear that everyone knows is a swear but is always rendered with a smile: Bless your heart!

My dear sweet Mom didn’t cuss/curse, but she would say “God bless a milk cow” or “Fudge!” or “Dagnabit!” or “Shoot fire and save matches” 🤣

@Ledgerfan2003

2 жыл бұрын

I say fudge all the time. That’s one of my favorite saying

@biliussteed2102

Жыл бұрын

I love the, “Shoot fire and save matches!”

The one I used the most is, “WHAT IN THE HOLY JEHOVAH’S WITNESS!”

@arandomuser9459

4 жыл бұрын

Logan Florea Mind if I steal that one? It’s hilarious. 😂

@fredmckinney8933

4 жыл бұрын

One I use is "what in the ham and eggs...?"

@avianelixir

4 жыл бұрын

Logan Florea that’s a little long don’t you think?

@harriskids7312

4 жыл бұрын

Soo funny 😂😂😂

@taylorcampbell4855

4 жыл бұрын

This one is great. Thanks for sharing.

😂😂😂 we love this guy!!!! He is even funnier in person we laughed so hard it was hard to breathe!!! Thank God for Tim Hawkins Clean Christian Comedy🤗🤗🤗

@llamasarus1

Жыл бұрын

Clean, except the "fart-knocker" and "suck eggs" part that really means something NSFW and he was oblivious to.

"Well, dat burn it, paw!" .....Hoss Cartwright from Bonanza.

When my friend, who is a pastor, gets upset she says “pooty squabbles!”

@PhilipBarron

4 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

@indodinoyoutube

4 жыл бұрын

XDDDDDDD

@Dan-sb2fb

3 жыл бұрын

i’m totally stealing that

@janitaboatner9353

3 жыл бұрын

That is hilarious! 😂

@tommyhubbard5733

3 жыл бұрын

"She", can't be a pastor......

"Fartknocker!" Bad time to take a bite of my apple!

@pathwalkermmjdh6346

3 жыл бұрын

Lol!

Where did you guys put my crapola crayon?! I seriously needed that to color my tooting picture. Nice one you crud muffins. XD

@cozylime_2006

5 жыл бұрын

Yea, Fart Knocker

Tim Hawkins is very funny, I met Him once after one of his comedy shows. It was awesome.

I made a few myself: “Great clouds!” “Oh, for the love of mice!” “Holy cat!” “You little rat!” (I also use weasel) and my favorite from 6th grade: “That guy is such a Wexler.”

Tim is just the best. They say that there are actors who are triple threats, they can sing, dance and act. Well, Tim is a quadruple threat, he can sing, he can dance, he can act, and he can laugh at himself while he does it. Thanks, Tim.

I have watched this over a dozen times, and it never gets old - LOL! This guy is hilarious.

You said "great googly-moogly" with a spot on George Carlin inflection, and I watched Robin Williams possess your soul when you said "Heavens to Betsy"... I'm dyin'!

My grandmother says, "Oh fig leaves!" ☺💕

Not gonna lie, most of these are in my vocabulary! (I totally grew up in the church)

@eliserose3688

6 жыл бұрын

Keeping it Real in the Kitchen ikr i also say booty

@Janjelle1

6 жыл бұрын

Elsa Gilmore puddy not booty

@NotJayge

6 жыл бұрын

same

@danaparzych4034

6 жыл бұрын

Great Caesars ghost! , son of a motherless goat,

@christellehires

6 жыл бұрын

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Anybody heard "What the Sam hill?!?!?" ?

@jgireby

6 жыл бұрын

Christy Favor Yeah, "What in the Sam Hill?" Heard that growing up.

@beautifulellie1223

5 жыл бұрын

Christy Favor I have a friend named Sam Hill. Just love your comment haha

@Lavenderrose73

5 жыл бұрын

Used it!

@scottdinges2181

5 жыл бұрын

Where is Sam hill anyway 😂

@angelalaird5958

5 жыл бұрын

I use that!

Imagine just using expletive *falls down the stairs* OH EXPLETIVE

@laceandribbonsviolin

4 жыл бұрын

Oh em gee I’m doing that now!

@MasterAnakinSkyWalker

2 жыл бұрын

Saying it as you're falling down the stairs would make it even funnier, like it was predetermined.

My favorite Christian swear word as a kid was, "crud diddly moo moo" . Ahh, those were the good ol' days.

As a born again Christian who's trying to defeat the cursing demon this video really comes in handy. I know I can stop cursing, I just need to increase my vocabulary!!!

son of a motherless goat, I'm dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😋😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@hllthR-jv5pe

7 жыл бұрын

Faximumgirl5 bookworm my favourite was crud muffins

@rowynnecrowley1689

6 жыл бұрын

I say this all the time. But I've never heard anyone else say it. I thought I invented it.

@katiebing3162

6 жыл бұрын

It's from the movie, the three amigos

My favorite was "Shut the front door."

@katetooke3120

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@erin4930

4 жыл бұрын

I have also heard someone say "shut the full cup"....yep yell that at someone and see what happens.....lol

@D1SC1PULUS

3 жыл бұрын

STFD!!!

He actually reminds me of Robin Williams with his quick wit and love of his craft

Jumping Johosaphat. *Jumps* calm down Johosaphat, both feet on the ground J-ho, J-ho. Deep breath J-ho. The best part😂😂😂😂

SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT THE WIFI'S OUT!

@cozylime_2006

4 жыл бұрын

What the what!Shut the front door which son of a biscuit eater did that to me! They're such a fart knocker.

"Tall glass of milk and a crud muffin, ain't no better way to start the day!"

@biliussteed2102

Жыл бұрын

Tall glass of blue milk.

Holy flippin-flip-flop. I haven't laughed this hard in so long. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You and John Crist are my replacements for Jim Carey and Robin Williams. Love you guys.

@fomtooleryy

4 жыл бұрын

Roseann Sorrentino YES

@biliussteed2102

Жыл бұрын

God rest Robin Williams.

You forgot one(from the elf movie) “I’m a cotton-headed ninny muggins “

@hockeyislife2

3 жыл бұрын

Son of a Nut Cracker

Blessings! I am writing for myself and the young man I work with (special needs). David my client came to see you in Edmonton and was allowed to meet you (thx for gas money offer, he made it home😁) Thank you on his behalf for the meet and greet. He mentioned watching you on Facebook , although this is true he also watches you on DVD as he owns most of your collection. In the last 500 or so weeks your name or your jokes have come up at least 500 times. Thank you for enriching our lives with your wacky sense of humor and ministry.😁✌️

I love starting my day with a good ol’ crud muffin and some orange juice

@dealanachmatamis352

3 жыл бұрын

Me too. Aint nothin says lovin like a good ole crud muffin!

@erikaswanson7072

2 жыл бұрын

With pulp...

@theace1014

2 жыл бұрын

Mmmh Mamas crud muffins

@DosagePosage

2 жыл бұрын

Orange juice with pulp

Your forgot the Mormon favorite. "Cheese and rice! " lol

@geraldfrost4710

4 жыл бұрын

You'd have to be from California to use it, but: "Conn Dam, Sanoma Beach!"

@giantclaw138

4 жыл бұрын

It'd be the first I've heard of that. Then again, I don't live in Salt Lake

@giantclaw138

4 жыл бұрын

Or Provo

@tornadogirl9099

4 жыл бұрын

Or the favorite on the movie Rio "Cheese and Sprinkles!"

@raydoestuff

4 жыл бұрын

yes!!!!!!!!!!! i use that one all the time!!!

Fart Knocker is always gonna be my favorite :)

This made me laugh so hard i started crying. Why isnt this guy more popular he is funnier than some comedians nowadays

Confederate generals seem to work, too. For example, "What in the Sam Hill is going on in here?"

@abigails5273

3 жыл бұрын

I know a Sam Hill and I always wanted to go "What in the Sam Hill.." lol

@Sumschmuck

2 жыл бұрын

Sweet John Bell Hood, you're right.

I was having such a tooty day. Now I'm laughing so hard I am crying.

This is the cleanest try not to laugh video I’ve ever seen!! And the most helpful!!😂👍🏼🙏🏼

I don't even call myself a Christian, and I LOVE Tim Hawkins! 😁😆🤣

One of his best routines. Never fail to laugh when I watch it.

i used to tell my brother “SHUT THE FRONT DOOR” all the time when i was mad at him. my parents dont like it lets just say ive gotten grounded a lot in the past....

@West-rk7dz

5 жыл бұрын

That's unfortunate. There should be litteraly nothing wrong with that at all. If anything it should be funny.

@donnaevans5131

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂

“Kiss my grits” Me: dead lol

@Milkman4279

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you Flo

@margaretbonnette678

4 жыл бұрын

from "Alice" . I loved that show, downright hilarious!

Am I the only one who is laughing so hard but trying not to make any noise so people don't ask why I'm on the floor laughing? Just me? Ok

My dad recently started saying, “What the bleep,” and I don’t know where he picked it up.

@arandomuser9459

4 жыл бұрын

ZanraiKid Probably this video.

@arwen2169

3 жыл бұрын

Guess you know now

@Momz0r

4 ай бұрын

I say "what the peep n peep!!". 😅

Or my favorites, which I use at work: "bad word" and "son of a bad word." (Sixth grade teacher.) "Son of a bad word" is especially helpful when you drop something on your foot. Often accompanied by a long and drawn-out "Shhhhhhheboygan!" or possibly "shhhhhhhhhhhipyard!!!"

But you missed my favorite- “Oh fudge!” I also use “Sugar!” I’m a candy maker by trade though so... 🤗 Might have picked these up from Chef.

I've been trying not to curse anymore. I'll have to remember these.

I made up one, "Son of a crud muffin!"

Always loved this clip

@scottishprepper8835

6 жыл бұрын

Specific Love Creations I love your channel as well.

Here’s a couple more: Son of a nutter butter Son of a preacher man

"Son of a motherless goat" gets me every time! I am still waiting for the perfect situation to say that to someone. As a Christian, I have been using alternative cuss words for over 45 years. My current go-to is "Poop on a Stick!"

I used to hear "geezum crow!" and "G's and H's!" I have a friend that says "what the fudge!" I remember Rocket J. Squirrel's "Hokey Smokes" and Robin the Boy Wonder, who said "Holy" followed by words related to the situation (Holy plot twist, Batman!)

@evelynharris1138

4 жыл бұрын

I remember watching Batman on t.v. every Saturday

I was finding it hard to control my laughing fits holy moly. this guy is seriously funny. I have not laughed this hard in a long time

@briannahuser8315

4 жыл бұрын

Same!

I do use these, much to the shock of my very vulgar co-workers.

@snarkshark2907

7 жыл бұрын

Yes...I'm sure they're aghast. *golf clap*

"Bleep" got me and I thoroughly enjoyed this segment lol!

3:01 Did anyone else hear a guy yell WAAHOOO in the background after he said, “son of a motherless goat!”?