They are always looking for new supplies and hence the cheating. They are never content with one person.

@anoushkamarcin

3 күн бұрын

Yes 👏 that’s right it’s always about finding new people outside of the relationship

@zandig666

3 күн бұрын

Neither am I but I care about people and how I treat them they don't

When out of extra supply, they go on datingsites. Be safe & carefull survivors!❤

@melbaT2770

Күн бұрын

Porn sites galore too! My ex enjoyed females that looked like they were 15 years old. He is sick.

Hi Anoushka Thankyou for your videos, I’m trauma bonded and struggling….crying as I type this…. I’m sending love and healing to everyone dealing with a narc ❤x

@debprobst330

3 күн бұрын

I've been where you are you will get over it with time and no contact ....they will never change so you need to take care of you be safe

@anoushkamarcin

3 күн бұрын

Thank you for your comment and I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. You will get through this, it takes time but keep yourself busy doing things for you. And know that you did everything you could. 💛

@KittyCatFurbabiesMaria1972

3 күн бұрын

@@anoushkamarcin Thankyou so much , I feel so down trodden in the gutter , he fat shamed me multiple times a while ago so I stopped eating, took so many slimming aids laxatives etc, ended up one night being rushed to A&E in horrific pain in stomach and back as I had lost three stone in under a month , had tests and stayed in hospital on a drip for a week and had two further hospital stays before I had to have my gallbladder removed and huge stones….. I gave him everything , he said / says “ trouble is you’re TOO NICE and I’ve never had love like it from anyone else like you in my life” when I asked him why he was always so horrible to me and un loving ….. I think he resents me for making him feel happy the only one time he showed me love , and that only lasted for a few hours nearly four years ago on September 25th ….. sad I can remember the date isn’t it 😭…. I know he’s got others as LOTS has changed from him to me …. I feel like the one who’s pushed aside and then he drops me crumbs as knows I’m always there …. Keep telling him it’s over but he says it isn’t ….. I wish I was stronger but he’s emotionally and mentally crushed me into the gutter 😭… x

@Evermore2017

3 күн бұрын

It’s very important for you to realize that you WILL heal and unbond from that which is integrated in your mind, body and soul. The key is to go through it. There is no escape. If you try to avoid the process you will be like many others who are 5, 10, 20 years out still stuck. Check your insurance, find a complex trauma therapist and journal every thought you are experiencing. I talk to text. It does get rumination out of you. It is not a linear process. We all want to “just fix it” but they don’t want to. It’s a very real disorder. It’s like asking a lion to just be a cat. It can’t. It’s a lion. Lions hunt. Narcissists cheat, lie, deceive and they cannot help it. It’s like asking you to rob a bank at gunpoint. You wouldn’t because that’s not you. Changing you into that type of person is as hard as it is to change a narcissist.

@robertskujnieks756

3 күн бұрын

I am so sorry with what you are going through, my gosh the pain you are in right now, I understand that , you need to set strong boundaries, and think about yourself. You need someone to talk to. Go no contact. Set strong boundaries, join Anoushka's journaling club. Sending love and care and hugs

What hurts the most is they accuse you of cheating or talking to others when you know you haven't. Their projection is confusing cause it's clear in your mind that they are cheating, but you can't prove it. On nights out they keep you at distance while you watch them flirting with others then accuse you of being jealous. You catch them looking and the other person looking. They always sit you with your back to the room so they can see everybody. They're constantly looking but then tell you how uncomfortable you make it. All the while, you know what you see. Her wondering eye was blatant and extremely questionable. It will certainly be one of the biggest red flags next time round.

@alphonsejohansantelices8038

3 күн бұрын

Exactly

@alphonsejohansantelices8038

3 күн бұрын

Oh my God. I don't like it. No one does.

Cheating is a drug. All the personality disorders become unbearable to the empath. I think they have a split personality along with ALL the other problems they have.

@jessselene

3 күн бұрын

Yes!!!!

@jennifert2002

3 күн бұрын

Yeah and they cannot even see themselves clearly and think they are good people when their behavior is horrible. They justify and defend their behavior, nothing is ever their fault.

@jessselene

3 күн бұрын

@@jennifert2002 especially the very powerful ones. The absolute worst.

@roberttruman8444

2 күн бұрын

I don't think it's so much to do with the concept of cheating that appeals to them. I think it's more to do with them being able to do what they want, when they want and with who they want. I don't think they really get the concept of cheating because they also don't get the concept of a committed relationship. I think these are alien concepts to the narcissist, but they understand that it matters to the majority of people and that it can help them evade detection and boost their profile if they appear to conform with this social norm. Despite their lack of interest and understanding of itthese concepts though they don't mind using them to control the people in their life.

@jessselene

2 күн бұрын

@@roberttruman8444 I agree. “ Everything in life is about sex, except for sex. Sex is about power. “ Especially to a cruel narcissist.

I busted the NARC today...Said he had no breaks at work. Well his car was gone, his day folded. He disappeared. Most likely into the arms of another person. Unbelievable. The lies!!! Sickening. Says, I love you!! But cheating.... locks the phone up... Unreal.

@roberttruman8444

2 күн бұрын

They often have a second phone too.

-It’s true. That’s why you have to pick your poison wisely and accordingly. -

I must have a sign on my head that attracts these people.

@aftaflash

3 күн бұрын

Increase your confidence/ self esteem. Truly. They will go away. They sense it

@stephenneville7841

3 күн бұрын

@@aftaflash I’ll give it a whirl my friend 👍💪

@melbaT2770

Күн бұрын

Some ppl like conquering those who think they are better than them. They want to put them in their place. It is sadistic…It really doesn’t have anything to do with you. Just read their body language and trust your gut.

I definitely am still trauma bonded yet I feel these people are so incredibly fascinating! They’re so intriguing. I’m shocked I’ve lived 50 years and had a great deal of experiences with women all throughout my 20’s and early 30’s. Yet it took me up until age 49 to meet someone who was very high on the NPD “Beautiful but deadly!”

* the screwing you get is never worth the screwing you will get if they turn on you or target you Avoid at all costs

My narcissist wife had a constant craving for novelty. She would re-arrange most of the furniture in the house every two weeks. She was constantly buying new things for the house and then finding some corner to shove things in, or she would give those things away. Eventually she moved out and moved in with her daughter and grandkids in another state. In the big picture it was a blessing. I learned early on to not bother asking her any questions because she would only lie to me. We have virtually no contact anymore. I just assumed she was cheating on me the whole time. I had no reason to think otherwise. It's good riddance.

@joanofarcxxi

3 күн бұрын

Rearranging the house and purchasing new items does not necessarily indicate narcissism. In fact, sometimes such actions are taken by women who are unhappy and in pain. Narcissism is a complex issue, and narcissists can pose a real danger to those around them. I experienced a relationship with a narcissist who frequently accused me of secrecy and infidelity and even threatened me violently. However, the reality was that I remained reserved, steered clear of confrontations, and was faithful; my only fault was being loyal and devoted to someone who was unfaithful and abusive himself.

@roberttruman8444

2 күн бұрын

None of that sounds like narcissism to me. Why do you assume she was cheating on you without any evidence to support it? Your wife's furniture rearranging and purchases sound to me like a distraction attempt or a desperate attempt to fill a void. I have a friend who is married to someone who promised her kids but kept deferring it and changing the goalposts whilst slowly brainwashing her into thinking that having children would shorten her lifespan. Now she can't go a month without buying at least one new pet. They practically have their own zoo, and it's disturbing to say the least.

@Cowboy19735

2 күн бұрын

My Ex-Wife did the same thing, constantly changing the house up, buying things to hang on the wall every week, then taking it down. Rearranging again, and repeat! So glad she is gone! Now I know they cheat, what a nightmare!

Your content is very helpful, and helps me to heal from my narcissistic relationship. Thank you❤

@anoushkamarcin

3 күн бұрын

Awww 🥰 I’m so happy to hear this 🫶

So that confirms what I have put together what she was doing from September 2023 to January 2024, Committed Adultery! So glad I tested NEGATIVE on that Blood Test!

Glad I am out with her it's now another man's problem and chaos

I don’t understand cheating or any high or positive feelings because I have been lied to, deceived and betrayed. I know how that hurts. I am aware of God’s values and human dignity and the difference between good and bad, healthy and unhealthy. I don’t understand how a human mind can do these things and get good feelings from it. The only thing that can help them get there I think would be catastrophic loss or harm to them. Which is not something we do to them but they ultimately cause themselves. Time is their worst enemy. The bill will need to be paid. In the meantime, our only healthy response is the life of Jesus. He separated when needed, he communicated clearly and directly, factually, his emotions were always in rest with the Father. Because when the relationship ends as it always does with a narcissist, they will never be able to escape reality. That you were anything but loving and respectful, and when you are left alone, and you reflect back, you will feel amazing and proud of yourself that you reflected the spirit of Jesus Christ, And in the end, the narcissist will always remember that and remember you as the one that got away. Because love always drowns darkness. The love of Jesus Christ is the only thing that can change a narcissist, and you need to be his disciple and ambassador.

@artheriford

3 күн бұрын

I honestly believe that these people do get a sick sense of satisfaction from hurting others. Like a badge to wear to brag about how many hearts they've broken.

@Tokolos

3 күн бұрын

@@artheriford You decide to bake something. You have all the ingredients, everything is set up and you start. You do everything in order, closely following the recipe. However, it's a disaster/ For some reason, somehow, the sugar got replaced by salt. The essence of vanilla smells like vinegar. It tastes really k@k/

@roberttruman8444

2 күн бұрын

I understand your personal feelings about cheating and although I have been guilty of infidelity in the past so I am no means perfect, the lack of honesty and the attempts to deceive can be devastating for all involved. When I cheated on an old partner it wasn't just a momentary wrong decision, it was the culmination of wrong decisions I'd made in my life that brought me into a place in life that wasn't right. Something had to change and many previous signs had been missed. I'm not proud of it but I was able to learn from it and grow. Naturally I felt guilt and remorse, and the memory of this helped me to know myself better and avoid making similar mistakes in the future. A narcissist however doesn't feel any of that, and they see cheating as something of a tool or a process to help them acquire something they feel they need. I don't think they intend to hurt their partners by cheating, because I doubt they even consider their partners. I think they are just so entirely self focused, but they probably get some pleasure from the pain that occurs and the false empowerment they receive. I do recognise the importance of having a faith in times like these because it acts as a barrier that no partner, narcissist or otherwise can penetrate, and denies them the top spot in a partner's life and thus reduces their power. I do think that trying to think about cheating in the context of religious views is problematic though. Cheating is a manmade concept, as is monogamy and marriage. How can we look at something like cheating and compare it to God's values, when God has never lived a mortal life and therefore cannot know how it feels? We're taught to recognise these values (which I'm not against) as those of God. But if that;s true then why are we not horrified by the narrative of the immaculate conception in which God impregnates Mary without her prior consent. There's no other instance in which such an act would ever be regarded favourably. Mary is ok about it once she hears that the baby is the son of God, which I must admit would be a strange reaction at best. To make it more awkward she's already married to another man, and stranger than that she's also still a virgin. Joseph appeared to be totally cool about the prospect of bringing up another person's son, an idea that has troubled men for thousands of years and was arguably one of the biggest motivators in the creation of marriage. I'm not against faith, but the traditional narrative we're taught does not help us to understand cheating any better. Plus there's a good chance that our binary black vs white/ good vs bad mindset that we get from religion makes the experience of cheating even more hard to bare. It's just as acceptable to consider cheating as an unpopular manmade concept that undermines the alternative manmade concept of monogamy that we've been taught to value, plus I bet it's a whole lot easier to manage when thought of this way.

I'm guessing theres such a thing as healthy and unhealthy distractions...painting flowers could be an example of healthy distraction for theraputic benefits ?

@robertskujnieks756

3 күн бұрын

Yes, anything that takes your mind off things, and takes your attention and focus away. Also journaling helps

Why do narcissists get bored so easily??? Is it because they are boring? I hate to ask this considering all the years and emotions I wasted on the narcs in my life, but it is a bit strange how despite my efforts to deepen our connection, there are people that I met only once, possibly while on drugs, for just a few hours, who I was able to achieve a genuinely deeper level of connection with. I've even had customers I met on jobs who I got to know better then the 3 key narcissists in my life. The narcs all were very busy and seemingly outgoing, yet it seemed that we repeated the same old surface level conversations again and again. Also they never had any hobbies or interests, and would always try to pass off their means of sourcing supply as a legitimate passion. It pains me to think how one of the narcs still occupies a lot of emotional headspace despite the fact that she was and is still.....a bit........boring!

They are validation junkies.

My bm cheating on me so many years n steady lied about it 2020 was the worst year of my life she cheated n my mother passed away 💔😭

If I’ve never caught her cheating, should I assume she’s cheating?

@roberttruman8444

2 күн бұрын

That's a very tough one. Honestly you should not assume anything without evidence. Narcs are very good at covering their tracks, and even though they may not always know how they got where they are in life they always know where the exits are! My ex was cheating, and furthermore she was triangulating me with the other men. They were literally the only "friends" of hers that I was allowed to meet. Unfortunately my insisting on evidence meant that I betrayed my intuition many times and I paid for that! She even had the nerve to blame me for not asserting my boundaries. But that's not easy to do when you have no proof of boundary violation other than a hunch. She had elaborate stories to back up any claim she made, and since I never saw her friends/family/colleagues how was I to ever know? My ex used me a lot for sex too, so it's not like I could say I'd noticed a change to our sex life.

I have an issue that you can't pronounce "narcasist". Damn !

Helpful thanks. More dots connected. 🩵