Sorry Preach, naw, if someone is leading you on for a month and you're not dating yet, they're playing you and you need to drop them, or at least give them an ultimatum. "Someone not sleeping with you within three days" is grossly not the same thing at all.

@AbaNPreach

2 жыл бұрын

*YOU framed it as "leading you on".* YOU are assuming negative intent. Thats your bad past experiences informing your opinion. That isnt true for everyone. Plenty of marriages had an extended dating phase, there is no magical number but because you were hurt, you've made an arbitrary time frame. Who are you to give ultimatums, *"BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME NOW OR WERE DONE"* | The entitlement of not only holding this mindset, but also proudly posting about pressuring folks to give you what you want WHEN YOU WANT IT. *Imagine being in a relationship with someone who gets what they want that way. ULTIMATUMS.* "Someone not sleeping with you within three days is grossly not the same thing at all". I think after 4 dates, if she aint throwing the pussy at em I think shes playing him for free meals. See how dumb that timeline sounds.

@tonyruby4467

2 жыл бұрын

Wholeheartedly disagree with you. A month is too soon to make that kind of commitment. Forcing a relationship on someone only makes things worse

@vicious2097

2 жыл бұрын

Oh no, the pin of shame

@guyhutukatit1204

2 жыл бұрын

@@AbaNPreach i couldn’t help but read this in Preach’s accent

@MerculiarchSyn

2 жыл бұрын

Lulz, pin o’ shame.

I hate that people are selling dating advice that doesn’t include self accountability. It doesn’t help anyone and just keeps the customer buying courses, books, advice, etc.

@torachan23

2 жыл бұрын

Uh, that's the point. How else will they keep people coming back and buying their "product"? They don't want solutions, they want continuous content and sales.

@cyrusthegreat3299

2 жыл бұрын

Well saidddddd lady. Well said.

@dedeag9300

2 жыл бұрын

The thing is many people don't understand how to be in a relationship. For example just because you are in love , doesn't mean you don't need space

@taylorlibby7642

2 жыл бұрын

@@dedeag9300 Sometimes it means you need more.

@rejavenated

2 жыл бұрын

It’s like the pharmaceutical industry. Keep them dependent.

Marrying yourself is a coping mechanism when u realize nobody wants to deal with u. There’s a difference between being lonely by choice and being lonely because nobody wants to deal with your shenanigans.

@Superbatmanbro

2 жыл бұрын

Poor my brain cells when on vacation to Europe and left with out me the moment this lady gave trouble advice

@marcelobenattoferreira2998

2 жыл бұрын

Lets be real, if you're completelly alone, it's not by choice....it's never by choice. And it's almost allways you're own fault.

@johneaston8314

2 жыл бұрын

Sad part is those marriages often end in divorce 😂

@artorhen

2 жыл бұрын

If you're lonely, then it's not really a choice. Technically if you are able to make the choice to be alone at times, then it is because you can be and you don't get immediately lonely.

@thelordakira

2 жыл бұрын

Even when they marry themselves it end in divorce. (see Cris Galera)

It's so weird how someone can see the level of diversity around them and still think one solution should work for absolutely everyone lol

@reynam2576

2 жыл бұрын

Very well put!

@leveragelifestyle8581

2 жыл бұрын

Lol probably has a video titled, "the one secret to a successful relationship". You know there's always ONE thing you're missing... Haha

I'm actually going to agree with her on one thing - the part where she said a girl shouldn't even sleep with a guy unless he's a boyfriend, and I would say the same to guys, keep it in your pants until you see her as a girlfriend and she doesn't shrug it off when you call her one. Not because of any "standard", relationship control (like she's doing), or anything like that. Sex with a person changes your perspective on them. You are sharing something intimate, and it creates a connection whether you realize it or not. I have a feeling sex too soon in a relationship, plus marriage with far too short a courtship, is why we see so many cold or outright failed marriages. The couple moved too fast and buried themselves in a relationship that wasn't meant to be, but their vision was clouded until they were too far in it, and felt like they had a duty to stay. Not saying I have the definitive answer on this, just my own opinion. The rest of what she was saying was downright dumb, for the same reasons you already lined out. Well done.

@warex4501

2 жыл бұрын

Haha no. Make your intentions clear right off the bat. If sex is all you're looking for and the other party agrees that is as far as it goes. Once one party starts catching feelings end it immediately before things become messed up. It is as simple as that.

@thulean.uruk-hai

2 жыл бұрын

@@warex4501 Sure, if sex is all you care about. Then you lose your ability to pair bond, because you're always keeping your eyes on the door and preventing yourself from getting attached. The day will come you decide to settle down but you can't, because you lost your ability to attach after so many years of suppressing it, your partner senses it, they don't waste their time and leave. Sounds like an empty, hollow life to me. Good luck with that.

@psoozan9648

2 жыл бұрын

@@thulean.uruk-hai A lot of people don't understand the impact of sex on pair bonding, especially men. They don't even care for a deeper relationship because they've never attained a good one.

@adventcarrot

2 жыл бұрын

Wow this such facts. I agree with everything

@linojvni2038

2 жыл бұрын

are you a fan of varg

The older I get the more I realized is that we make life harder for ourselves. Just have a conversation people can only fool you for a while .

@RealYRM

2 жыл бұрын

I always approached dating the old fashioned way, because I wanted to land a fun/monogamous partner. I wanted a relationship. To get there, I did date a lot, but if things were going to the next level, she had to agree to be exclusive at that point... i.e. "If we go there, we're exclusive, but if you want someone else or want out, just be honest, don't cheat, just end it." So then we'd explore being BF/GF, and sometimes that still doesn't work out. On and on... found who I was looking for and happily married. But it took a few tries.

@raggedyhaggity250

2 жыл бұрын

@@RealYRM thats cool that you finally reached when you need to be, respect👍🏼 getting to know someone for marriage is a bit laborious but you have to give a bit before you can find the right person. something ppl now isn't willing to do. its always abt what they want and how other ppl can accomodate them. you're gonna end up with nothing if you can't invest even a little time, energy and efforts into a relationship, into another person. just like businesses and entrepreneurship, its gonna take fails and setbacks before one can win in the end

@DHRFIGHTERPODCAST

2 жыл бұрын

@@RealYRM much respect better than social media because the last thing you want to experience is being catfished by a ugly bitch who looks nothing how she looked in her profile

@anthonym840

2 жыл бұрын

I've been wondering why this has to be so complicated myself. It's easy science.

@anthonym840

2 жыл бұрын

@@RealYRM hats off to ur happiness. 😎👍😁

Best dating advice I ever received was to stop looking/praying for the "perfect" guy and instead ask myself if I was a women said guy would even consider dating... personal accountability goes along way.

@deathgazereaper2130

2 жыл бұрын

I think that could work well with men too. Being a man myself

@DosYeobos

2 жыл бұрын

That’s good advice, and like the person who replied said, it’s good advice for men too. Personally, I think in general, that men are more likely to feel entitled to women who are out of their league than women do. And when I say out of their league I’m not just talking about looks, I’m talking about career status, income, maturity, cleanliness of themselves and their living space, adult communication skills, etc. I’m not saying there aren’t a lot of women out their with unrealistic standards for men that don’t match the standards they have for themselves, but I just see it even more with men.

@DosYeobos

2 жыл бұрын

@@moonknight4053 maybe stop rating humans looks on a rating scale? That would be a good start. And most people, especially men but lots of women too, who rate themselves an “8 or 9”, aren’t the “8/9s” they see themselves as. Men lack a lot of the self awareness about their lack of attractiveness that women have. There’s nothing wrong with being a fit person who values physical fitness in their partner as well. What’s not right, is getting with a person who isn’t as fit as you’d like and expecting them to change for you.

@ianthomas1201

2 жыл бұрын

If you don't put the clapping image after every word, most people between 12, and 36 years old on the internet will not understand you.

@kelechiaguocha6125

2 жыл бұрын

Self Awareness is also a lost art. But great advice nonetheless 💯

Took me and my wife 3 months. Now we have been married for 6 going on 7 years. If you have had toxic relationships and trauma you should never rush into a relationship. Find out who they are. We waited over a year to get married. We knew eachother for 10 years before the relationship. Best relationship I've ever had. We both treat eachother with respect. Most amazing woman that I've ever been with!

have yall noticed how guys say stuff like "it's so hard dating because i keep getting ghosted and led on and can't find someone with commitment" and women say stuff like "it's so hard dating because i keep getting ghosted and led on and can't find someone with commitment"

@01hellokitty

5 ай бұрын

Everyone’s just wasting each other’s time at this point

Not only did I marry me, I gave myself a 1 month countdown to do it.

@msshug9995

2 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@hunkydory8437

2 жыл бұрын

Hope you signed a prenup. You’re the biggest culprit when it comes to spending your money!

@lucasmartin4883

2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@champ1159

2 жыл бұрын

Lol

@JDIASPRODUCTIONS

2 жыл бұрын

Genius

Am I the only person who's getting tired of everyone using so much filter pretending they have flawless skin. I truly love and miss wrinkles and scars and marks on faces 😆 looking at her video and Preach's, I genuinely find Preach and Aba's video much more refreshing.

@HypocritesExposd

2 жыл бұрын

She probably thinks no one notices the filter 😂

@xinpingdonohoe3978

2 жыл бұрын

Scars like former cuts are kind of cool in my opinion.

@McQueen1217

2 жыл бұрын

I thought I was the only one! They be catfishing like hell

@jjhoran6238

2 жыл бұрын

filters are false advertisement, same goes with a cake face lol

@staceyarey7904

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I didn't know for sure if it was a filter, and I was like "holy crap this girl has such pretty skin, I wish my skin could look like hers.." Thank you for reminding me that I am beautiful in my own skin, and I should never compare myself to someone who has to falsify their appearance.. Much love and God bless you!!

“You end up alone” Well, alone is better than most of the mess that passes for a normal relationship these days.

@IamINERT

2 жыл бұрын

Good god bro Its true

@tomspriggs9478

2 жыл бұрын

Yep. Especially for women, as they have limited time to get things straightened out if they want to have children.

@gimpinainteasy

2 жыл бұрын

Time to decide if what you want is really what you need.

I've always been a girlfriend within' a month to three months max and have had long term relationships....I didn't demand it. I'm not meeting friends, family or committing to "let's see how it goes" past 3 to 6 months if I really like you. Whether we've had sex or not. I don't vilianize men who may take longer to want a title though. And sometimes life circumstances contribute to that. People aren't compatible if their timelines and desires are different. That's okay, just move on.

I married me sounds like the loneliest thing ever. Lonlier than marrying a virtual girl.

@thiagobones3328

2 жыл бұрын

Dead ass lol

@Rieky22

2 жыл бұрын

That’s a coping mechanism for lonely bitter people.

@DadsCigaretteRun

2 жыл бұрын

At least with a virtual GF you have someone to talk to 😂

@aaawwwmandude

2 жыл бұрын

I’m happy as hell that I got married and left all that behind

@cherrycola542

2 жыл бұрын

Ong. As someone who doesn't want any romance this is just cring

I know people who literally 'hated' each other... that ended up together in the end, married over twenty years now. I fucking guarantee that he didn't meet 'her' standards. The thing is that people change. Standards change. Once you realize that, you stop basing your entire decision on whether or not they meet your rigid list of criteria. Back in '89, I became friends with a guy from the UK whose family had moved to our country. He brought his music collection with him. I ended up showing him tons of movies he had never seen, and he introduced me to music I'd never heard up here in Canada. The one album he gave me, on first listen, I HATED. I remember going through the whole cassette in my car as I drove to and from university, not liking it at all, and tossing it in the glovebox for months. At a later time I was looking for something to listen to, and happen to grab that album again... and decided to give it another try. It literally became my favorite album of all time on that second listen. Something clicked. My taste seems to go 180. The music didn't change.... I did. The same is true with relationships. If you aren't feeling it, then you aren't feeling it.... but if something clicks for you, even though this person doesn't meet this rigid criteria you have set down for yourself, give it a try. There are some great relationships that shouldn't have worked on paper, but flourished in real life.

@alexgear959

2 жыл бұрын

>standards change Yeah cause her options reduced, gtfoh.

@nightfighter7452

2 жыл бұрын

what does "literally" mean when you put "hated" in quotes?

@guri9583

2 жыл бұрын

Atleast say what the album is called 😩

@MrEvldreamr

2 жыл бұрын

@yo yo whats wrong w Kevin Samuels? He's actually got alot of stuff right abt men/women and dating... the issue i see online is when dudes THINK theyre KS giving shitty advice to ppl who didnt ask. KS is APPROACHED by men/women who cant manage their dating lives, not by ppl who are just single and arent ready to settle. Those are completely different

@chok1169

2 жыл бұрын

@@nightfighter7452 My father and mother often discuss over the years (some big fights, small fights, but never physical). When I was younger I tought that they should get divorced, but they didn´t. Now they don´t fight that much and I think it feels nice to have a partner that cares a lot about you and wants that good things happen to you. Even tough their marriage aint perfect, I think that finding people that are willing to look after you in bad times or when you´re down or sick is difficult to find this days.

Nope, I agree with her main point; if you or your partner can't decide after one month of dating there is no point. Doesn't mean it's the woman or the man's fault, you need to know what you want in a partner and to either stop clinging or stop giving people false hope

Why y’all jus take the video down 😂

If she ever writes a book, it should be titled “5 SIMPLE & SENSELESS WAYS TO SNAG A SIMP”.

@darkdaxterversionz

2 жыл бұрын

*SIX *SCENARIOS

@BattleBladeWarrior

2 жыл бұрын

Lol, i love it! :D I'd also add. . . . Volume 2: "Simpin, made Easy" Volume 3: "Perfecting the Simp Slap" (with commentary by William Smith)

@NikosM112

2 жыл бұрын

@@BattleBladeWarrior My man! 😆

@ziyamalik1666

2 жыл бұрын

Anyone who uses the word simp or pick me are already brainwashed by some ideology. You are one of em

@belfanmnoir5503

2 жыл бұрын

Or an undercover psychopath

Two weeks, even a month is barely seeing who the person is. With all these false representatives out here, take your time.

@caleb6590

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly. It takes longer than a month to actually know someone.

@jennylee5003

2 жыл бұрын

If you haven’t taken the time to get to know them in a month you’re not interested.

@Superbatmanbro

2 жыл бұрын

@@caleb6590 I’m still learning from the girl I’m dating and we been on 3 dates

@RealYRM

2 жыл бұрын

The dating coach in this video? With her high maintenance and demands... the fake lips... I can tell by looking at her I wouldn't want a relationship with her. To be in a relationship with someone, they'd have to be able to get wind in their hair, go out on short notice, do active things... no thanks to someone who has a 4 hour prep time. However, I do agree that you can be exclusive with someone in a short time. Being BF/GF doesn't mean you're engaged. It should mean, if you want out or another person instead, you break up first.

@vincentzhaiven4017

2 жыл бұрын

💯

Aba thank you for this, so I've recently met a girl who I've found a connection with. The thing is we both said we don't want to be in relationships after we've found happiness in being single. we ended up saying to each other that we are going to spend time getting to know each other and get a feel for one another and then look at the idea of us dating each other. We both connect on quite a few levels, I get the feeling that she needs time to get to know me better and she's even said that for her the physical attraction grows after she's connected mentally and emotionally which we are doing more of. I won't lie, I like this girl a lot and I want to get closer to her. We've been out twice now and we have a good time, enjoy each other's company. After watching this video I believe that I'm doing dating the right way because after being in relationships like this lady is describing, it ended catastrophically. I plan on doing things differently this time.

@jjm8224

Жыл бұрын

Hope things are going well for you. You seem like a really nice guy. Good luck.

I agree with the lady, people these days can't handle commitment and responsibility. Personally, I don't think you should be intimate with someone unless the possibility of a long term relationship is established, and for the connection that can span a long time is already there. However, love isn't a game of chess. Chemistry is really overlooked when people discuss dating online.

This is how people get scammed by people living double lives. This is why I think it is cool to ask people if they are looking for a relationship or casual fling. Be HONEST!

@positivemasculinity42

2 жыл бұрын

True , asking that question separates the men , from the dooshbags.

@thatyellowfellow

2 жыл бұрын

It is true, but your average person doesn't operate so honestly. Most of the time it'll be indirects and hedged bets until the two parties accept it. But it's incredibly rare for people to be THAT honest off the bat. It'll be some retard answer like "I dunno" or something

@DHRFIGHTERPODCAST

2 жыл бұрын

Agree

@no_player_commentary

2 жыл бұрын

@@positivemasculinity42 Why you only including the men in that regard.

@BattleBladeWarrior

2 жыл бұрын

That part is HUGE. I wish more people were honest about that, instead of dragging each other on.

She was weird at first projecting her own opinion on to everyone, then she said "fire him" and now she lost me completely. Girl treating her relationships like employees, good luck being alone.

@angrytheclown801

2 жыл бұрын

I have fired one girlfriend, but that was because I was trying to get through to her that I broke up with her and she was being purposely obtuse about it.

@michellerichardson3090

2 жыл бұрын

Actually sometimes you have to treat it that way. 3 violations, bye

@jen30551

2 жыл бұрын

Oh but she wont be alone though...she is gonna find a man or series of men who will bend to her will, I mean standards. She wont find happiness in that but will probably keep doing it relationship after relationship and wondering why it doesnt work.

@Myrkish

2 жыл бұрын

I was like, "If this is a job, where's my severance pay?"

@michellerichardson3090

2 жыл бұрын

@@Myrkish you know you only get that with a full time position. Boyfriend is part time, husband is full.

It’s the, “When you require, you inspire.” What T-shirt did she get that from?

I had to consider the relationship with my wife (of over 7 years and counting) for more than a month, cause I'd just been out of another relationship less than a month when I met her. Also she lived in another country. We took like three months to come to a choice to even try with relationship, let alone formal titles. Also sometimes -surprising as this might sound to some narrcisists - there's considerations the man or woman might need to make outside of their prospective partners before they can commit TO THEM. Let's highlight the word "consideration" here. Sometimes it really isn't just about the other person and you shouldn't feel pressured. As far as my partner and I concerned, our marriage is for life. With that kind of perspective, more than a month is nothing. I sincerely doubt this woman on youtube can say that, and as a matter of fact I doubt she's in a stable marriage now. She clearly has issues and you can tell the kind of guy she goes for is a player cause she's a player herself and is sought after cause of her looks. It's her insecurity that's messing with her and she's projecting her fragile ego and insecurities onto others...same with alphas like fresh and fit. It's so beta.

This is for real crazy, why are we treating relationships like a chess game with strategies and tactics to “win”?? It’s supposed to be a mutual connection you build with another person not a competition on who cares less 🤦🏽‍♂️

@Neo.Jordon

2 жыл бұрын

When the other player isn't at the board 90% of the time.....move on. It's common sense

@matthoward7645

2 жыл бұрын

You clearly still playing checkers lad you gotta be on that 4d special rule chess game

@gimpinainteasy

2 жыл бұрын

This is why I only dated friends. I don't have time for games unless it requires a controller or a keyboard. My time is valuable.

@gimpinainteasy

2 жыл бұрын

@Pro Token420 I am low drama. Only took me once. It was a hard lesson. So happy I did!

@glenholmgren1218

Жыл бұрын

Not for Control Freaks, it's Not

Take your time people. Too many people are rushing into relationships with people they barely know. Calm down and get to know the person.

@ragejinraver

2 жыл бұрын

So how long are you supposed to wait though . Because you have now two generations of women who took that bad advice . Who are now miserable that there not married and don't have a family

@RealYRM

2 жыл бұрын

The way it used to be, and sometimes still is... if you want a relationship, you look for people who want a relationship. You can be dating 4-5 of them. Before going to the next level with any of them, discuss that you only do that if it's exclusive, and if that's not ok, you're not the right person for them. If things do go to the next level, you're exclusive with just that person UNTIL such time that you realize it's not compatible or there are red flags, then you break it off and move on. One of the better ways not to land a cheater.

@cyncerevideos5111

2 жыл бұрын

Relationship? People are having sex then asking "Hey what's your name?

@vincentzhaiven4017

2 жыл бұрын

@@ragejinraver these girls acting the way they do onsocial media and disregarding men's needs and belittling men isn't working either. It's adding to them being single because unlike girls guys don't put up with bs like that. Humbling yourself , putting in 2 to 3 months of work should give them success. If you can't put time like that in then you don't really need to be with someone. Especially if you're looking for something long term the work and time is worth it and the key.

@BattleBladeWarrior

2 жыл бұрын

@@RealYRM Exactly! I think that'd work a lot better.

I know you guys get this a lot but, I appreciate your objectivity and your wider more balanced viewpoints on almost every subject you cover. I appreciate the research and I love how you guys interact and talk to each other. I have a lot of the same thoughts that you guys do when I see things like this. Anyways I know you don't need people patting you on the back or anything like that but I am being grateful out of genuine respect for what you guys do🖤✌🖤✌

I just realized your youtube plaque fits perfectly with the pause and play overlay on youtube. That’s TUFF

To finish what Preach said: “Everyone in this comments section is now dumber for having listened to it. I award her no points, and may God have mercy on her soul.” - Billy Madison paraphrased remix version 🤣

@ricfig207

2 жыл бұрын

Best quote. Nudy magazine day, nudy magazine day

@FullmetalPain

2 жыл бұрын

That's a Billy Madison reference.

@adamCarter20

2 жыл бұрын

A simple wrong would have been ok 😆

My husband and I became official after two weeks of talking. When he asked me I responded with I thought we already were 😂. We saw each other every day since we had met so we were on the same page. Unless that person is playing games with you (and hopefully you see it before getting too invested) there shouldn't be deadlines. Setting boundaries is very different from what this woman preaches.

@MrKrushgutz

2 жыл бұрын

Most people don’t see each other everyday though

@brooke9847

2 жыл бұрын

@@MrKrushgutz Right, that's why you can't use "Rules" like she is pushing. Everyone's situation is different.

@Nah-ah

2 жыл бұрын

@@brooke9847 exactly! Took my husband and I to agree and then disagree… then agree like 4 months later we were offical lol! It really depends on the people.

@andyparrish2694

2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I hadn't even met in person before we decided to get married. We had our first kiss after we were already engaged. Different strokes for different folks.😁✌ * I'm a woman using my husband's account.

@DTreatz

2 жыл бұрын

'husband'? send him my condolences

From my relationship experience. Shit just kind of blossoms into a relationship on its own. No need to try to speed things up. Take your time and just be you and you'll find someone to spend your life with I'm sure of it

Me and my bf were talking for 3 months dating for 6 and together officially together for 1 year + now. This mentality this woman has will have you marrying a serial killer

@angelicaarteaga9311

2 жыл бұрын

@@devilsadvocate7059 talking to me was just being friends starting to hang out in groups, starting to go the extra mile, courting i guess, until we started hanging out one on one officially calling them dates and when the line blurred from dating to officially a relationship he asked me to be his girlfriend. At that point i saw myself as his girlfriend but being asked is still a nice way to show he saw me as someone special.

Her to women: don’t be a doormat Her to men: be a doormat if you want me

@d2dar459

2 жыл бұрын

Right? RIGHT??!!!! 😅😅💯

@blackrose2647

2 жыл бұрын

Like huh??? Hypocrisy at its finest.

@iamsyourdadi

2 жыл бұрын

Hahahaha...the gymnastics was real

I can understand this girl's perspective (and this coming from me - a guy that notoriously dated many girls and it took me a long time to commit to any girl). I can understand that soooo many girls feel frustrated when they like a guy and want to move to the next level, but the guy keeps the relationship in the "casual dating" or "friends with benefits" stage. Girls often say "he didn't know what he wants" and they're right - men are afraid of commitment cause they "gotta catch'em all" Pokemon style. 1 month is not long at all but if after 3 months it's not moving anywhere, and the guy didn't tell the girl he only wants to keep it casual, then it starts to be a waste of her time (unless she makes no mention of wanting a relationship). I've learned getting into an official relationship is no big deal. You can always end it! But it can make things simpler and easier in the meantime.

She's acting like becoming someone's boyfriend is a legally binding contract. 😂 What's to stop a man entering a relationship with you for sex and then subsequently existing after smashing?

@michellerichardson3090

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly.

Being alone ain't a bad thing, as long as your happy .Who cares about these dating coaches, they all have issues in their lives .

@simdoughnut659

2 жыл бұрын

The "Pursuit of Happiness" is a Carrot and Stick pipe dream. There is a lot to be said for simply being content.

@SSingh-nr8qz

2 жыл бұрын

I agree and disagree. I'm 45. I agree you need to find happiness in being alone and be at peace with yourself. You can't make anyone happy if you can't stand being by yourself and having to look in the mirror. And to be honest, you should not be in any relationship until you get your shit together. I have seen too many people get married or have kids when they are a mess hoping that doing such things will "Fix them". On the flip side as an older male that is around other older people who have perspective on life, being alone sucks. I know many people (men and women) who are financially stable, kids moved away, spouse passed away, etc. They are stable and able to be alone, and really don't need anyone else. Ask these people if they like being alone. They will tell you they would prefer not to be. In my age, I prefer to have just a handful of QUALITY people to hangout with and a single person to take care of and share my life. Being alone is you experience these things but its' in a vacuum. It's like watching an amazing movie, but having no one to share your experience or excitement with. You will still enjoy the movie alone, but being able to talk with someone else that understands you is a different animal. It's why you see many guys my age and past 55 start offing themselves at an accelerated rate. We have the money, and stability but we have also experienced enough things alone that it starts to feel meaningless and numb to the world.

@GothamThotSlayer

2 жыл бұрын

@@SSingh-nr8qz that's not the same for everyone tho

@SSingh-nr8qz

2 жыл бұрын

@@GothamThotSlayer No. Actually it does end up the same. Men and women. It's a fairly strong trend after you hit 45. You either end up is a small social group (which is healthy), watch everyone you love die as you age, or alone and end up numb and happily wait for death because you are alone. There are stats on this and psychiatric papers on this. The ideal is having at least 1 person in your life you can spend your days with till the end. That connection needs to be meaningful and not superficial like a hooker or casual acquaintance. This can be anyone but it has to be a deeper connection to keep you alive. All you need is one person to care that you are alive. A spouse is ideal, but anyone you can share deep feelings with works.

@SSingh-nr8qz

2 жыл бұрын

@@simdoughnut659 Yup there is a difference between being content and being happy. There an excellent video on the mechanics of what makes people actually happy regardless of race, sex or economics. The long and short of it is your days having some sort of personal meaning you share with others. Those were the happiest. Those that ended up miserable were the "carrot and stick" individuals that focused only on themselves. They acquired all their goals but miserable at the end because their personal connections were so shallow or non existent. Let me know if you want the name of the video. It's long and lots of medical data, but really good stuff if you want to understand what actually creates long term happiness in people strictly from a science perspective.

My fiancé and I decided to wait to make it official. We knew we both wanted to date and be together but we wanted to get to know each other a bit more. Communication comes along in great ways.

@RealYRM

2 жыл бұрын

You're engaged now, that's a whole higher level than being "official". You can be 'official' and still break up pretty easily if you need to. To me, that just meant, if we are dating and taking things pretty far, we're exclusive... but it never meant, "We are BF/GF we now can't possibly ever break up." It just meant, if I wanted someone else, or she did, or we just weren't working out, we'd break up rather than cheat on each other.

Requiring your significant other to be exclusive and wanting to be officially in a committed relationship with you after a certain time is not unreasonable. 1 month is extreme, I agree but don’t let yourself be strung along months or even years by someone. Having a lot of unreasonable standards and having the “i will never settle for less than 100% what I am looking for” is unreasonable and makes you end up alone but wanting a commitment after a certain time is not one of these unreasonable standards. Especially if you are a woman in your 30s who wants to create a family. Edit: at least if you made it clear from the start that you are looking for sth serious

the way i see it? go with the flow, but also be upfront about your intentions from the jump. if you dont know what you want yet and are just being casual at the moment then you should express that. if youre dating a little more seriously, have a better idea of what you want and are potentially looking for an exclusive relationship somewhere in the near future then you should express that too. so i halfway agree with the guys on this one. its like yeah you shouldnt put an arbitrary deadline on when you get into a relationship with someone bc thats not how life works and everybody moves at their own speed. but at the same time you do need to assert your intentions just so you can know whether or not yall are riding the same mental wavelength and also to save you time and headaches. ive been led on before a few times so i know how it feels. but i also wasnt a very good communicator at that time and never really stepped in and said something along the lines of "hey so where are we going with this?" so again, yeah, being led on sucks but that can be easily solved with good communication, not this weird passive-aggressive approach of lmao drop them after 30 days no matter what.

I could see having a conversation about where things are headed after a month because priorities matter. If you aren’t on the same page and you aren’t willing to wait for the other person to catch up then it’s good to know that.

Yeeeah another woman telling other women what to do, how to do it, how fast they should do it, what they should want or not. Good luck to men and women who still have to navigate the dating scene!

@thiagobones3328

2 жыл бұрын

Weird asf right…

@vladj2428

2 жыл бұрын

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtt, couldn't have said it better myself brother.

@ChelleSimon

2 жыл бұрын

I can not imagine trying to date in this day and age.

@vincentzhaiven4017

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed , I'll never go back even if I get divorced. Unless she cheats I'll more than likely just work shit out with the wife before getting dragged back into the dating scene. I follow these channels hoping one dayI'll click on a video to find things have gotten better for my fellow men that have to deal with this bs and girls will stop with all the games.

@Bobw324

2 жыл бұрын

@Kitty Silverlake is it really the man or the idea of a family ?

You can absolutely know if you want to be in a relationship with someone within a few dates. That being said some people do need to take their time. Communication is key. Being intimate brings a lot of risks so if you're not comfortable with doing it unless your partner is committed to only you / seeing only you you have to communicate that from the beginning so both partners can take their time to get to know each other without seeing others or being intimate. And if the other partner wants to get intimate but doesn't want to commit then it's just not the right partner for you and vice versa. In short meet someone who has the same idea about relationships as you do. There are people who can do dating while meeting others or being intimate without committing and there are people who can't or don't want to and that's ok. Just communicate and make sure you're on the same page.

It would be SO dope if she were to come on the channel for a discussion. Her advice is so ridiculous I want to hear her explanation during a live interview with Aba.

Honestly, I wouldn't have blamed her if she said "Set a time limit for how long you're comfortable going without being in a committed relationship and reassess at the end of the time limit if it's worth staying longer" instead of, "Set a 1 month time limit and stick to it." A lot of people will just stay in relationships they aren't completely happy with because they are in a relationship. Time has value and, on the marriage market, women's "value" decreases sooner than men's. There are a lot of people of both genders who will just string people along indefinitely (not even necessarily maliciously) if they could get away with it. Maybe those are all unpopular opinions, though.

@Sevkingblade

2 жыл бұрын

I think the time limit principle is the point.

@ferdtheterd3897

2 жыл бұрын

Honestly once you find that person whos just right for you all the rules dissapear and everything you had planned doesnt matter. Everyone is different and someone out there likes you for you so just be yourself and things will go smoothly

@Haylla2008

2 жыл бұрын

​@@ferdtheterd3897 To some extent, that's true. But if you really want a family and the person you're with is still hesitant after 5 years and there's not even a hint that a family is on the horizon, you're going to have to take a look at your priorities and decide what's more important to you. Just waiting for things to take care of themselves (i.e. someone else to come around to something) is a trap a lot of people fall into.

@ferdtheterd3897

2 жыл бұрын

@@Haylla2008 I mean you shouldn't stay with someone 5 years if you know they wont want a family for another 10 years. I think 99% of relationships lack communication and thats why I communicate in person as much as possible in my relationships

@Haylla2008

2 жыл бұрын

@@ferdtheterd3897 r/whoosh

My best friend told her boyfriend she loved him within a month of dating. I looked at her sideways, 2 kids and 10-years of marriage later they are still together, so what do I know. I will say that my healthiest relationship including the one I'm currently in (almost 3-years) have had structure and goals. Having standards has helped me make smarter choices when it comes to relationships. I personally don't do well in gray-areas. That said, demanding "girlfriend" status within a month of dating isn't a standard, it's a requirement. A standard would be if you aren't feelin' respected or like a guy is truly interested in you with in month or so, you move on or stop investing a certain level of your time. Aba is right if you really like someone or want more from them, the better than to do is have a conversation about what they want and where they think/hope things are going. Don't give an ultimatum, unless you truly need that title to be happy. If your need is for that title and for some people it is, then do what you got to do, just know it could mean the end of your relationship or the start of one where you have to set the tone for everything, some men really do want a woman to tell them what is next. I've seen that too. Not sure if the guy is happy or not but he's going along with it as if he is.

@kayhaich

2 жыл бұрын

Structures and goals sounds a bit too clinical for me to have a healthy organic relationship...expectations are the downfall of humanity in general. My wife and I like and feel comfortable around each other enough to want to be together. That's it. It's just easy.

@kishahelena5312

2 жыл бұрын

@@kayhaich, I'm glad and happy for you both. Like I said, I personally don't do good in gray areas or unknowns when it comes my feelings and how I deal with them. In other areas of my life I completely understand and can expect unknows and gray areas. At this stage of my current relationship I trust my feelings and his to the point, I'm not worried about our future. But in the beginning, it wasn't as clear. I'm not talking about needing a title or even being the only one he was seeing. The structure and goals I needed was knowing he wanted to keep seeing me, feeling free to share my feelings, having a Mutual goal of growing together. Being able to trust and know that's what he wanting in return from me. Heck, I didn't get the title until about a year into the relationship. For me knowing the he wanted a relationship and him not making me feel fearful of expressing my feelings or asking questions was what I needed to handle the bigger grayish areas of our relationship. Without that I spiral and feel lost and worried about my partner not really wanting to be with me and if I feel that way, I will end things for my Sanity. I know what works for me, we are all different. Some more carefree, others need something more solid to hold on to and feel secure.

@veronicasawyer6749

2 жыл бұрын

@@kayhaich Women would think the same as men if we could have children at any age and our attractiveness wasn't tied to our youth. Nature puts us on a timer

@kayhaich

2 жыл бұрын

@@veronicasawyer6749 thats assuming everyone wants kids though. It was easy for my partner, she always thought it wasn't worth putting up with some asshole and cursing any potential child with an asshole, compared to finding a good partner and being happy without children, which we are...and I totally agree with her and am fine without kids too. I don't need to condemn others to life for sating any sort of biological need, and was always of thr mindframe that I'm fine without a partner if the right one didn't come along.

@veronicasawyer6749

2 жыл бұрын

@@kayhaich If a man doesn't want children it is his responsibility to himself to state that and free his partner so she can find someone to build a family with. The desire to have children is very strong for some women and men, no one should get in the way of that, let that person go.

I agree with the spirit of her message of knowing what you need and dating to that, but not the timelines and ultimatums. Like if you’re ready for marriage, kids, etc. makes no sense to date someone who isn’t ready for (or doesn’t ever want) those things.

She is trying to make rules, see patterns on relationships to avoid heartache, I can see where she is coming from, I can understend what she is saying and why she is saying it, the problem is her solutions and rules does not apply in reality, we are not in controled field, life is full of surprises when we talk about relationships, each person is diferent and has different reaction

@chefcookin3051

2 жыл бұрын

No cap

@Neo.Jordon

2 жыл бұрын

Ita common sense. He's not taking you seriously move on. Aba on BS

@chefcookin3051

2 жыл бұрын

@@Neo.Jordon bro what?😂

@Neo.Jordon

2 жыл бұрын

@@chefcookin3051 use your brain bro

@chefcookin3051

2 жыл бұрын

@@Neo.Jordon nah help me out cuz boys are lost

I am SHOCKED that there are dudes out here willing to put themselves through this BS!!!

@positivemasculinity42

2 жыл бұрын

Dont be shocked, look at the red pill/ manosphere popularity, a large %🤨 of us men have decided not to put up with this BS.

@ashharkausar413

2 жыл бұрын

If you've watched 90 day fiance it's even worse.

@thisiscompletelyreta

2 жыл бұрын

They don’t, that’s whys she’s posting this. At least not any guy with self respect

@DHRFIGHTERPODCAST

2 жыл бұрын

Those are called simps

As a married woman I would actually give the opposite advice. Take your time and if it’s right it’ll fall into place. You’ll never be happy in a relationship being so controlling all the time.

@applefarm6126

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@damandatwin

2 жыл бұрын

yeah I'm single but whether or not something is going to work out I don't think forcing someone to do something they aren't comfortable with is ever the right thing to do.

@michellerichardson3090

2 жыл бұрын

Yep. I feel like you'll end up having alot of exes with this for no reason. Not everyone you go out with is meant to be in a relationship with you

@kayhaich

2 жыл бұрын

7+years and counting for my current relationship and marriage...it took 3 months to get serious and I was never pressured cause she knew there were things to be considered and it wasn't all about her.

@prouddegenerates9056

2 жыл бұрын

Rush the crop, ruin the soil, enjoy a cursed spring.

I've had the relationships where there was pressure to either be with them or not. they always ended badly, because we didn't take enough time to get to know one another and see if we were even compatable with each other

It is a given taken about compromise meeting in the middle without necessarily changing who you are or giving up your standards. I think honestly the biggest issue is that people are trying to take but never really give there is no compromise or working together

Who ever hurt this girl in the past , please apologize to her so she doesn't make a fool of herself on social media anymore. Thanks in advance 🙏

@wiredvibe1678

2 жыл бұрын

I did nothing wrong

@positivemasculinity42

2 жыл бұрын

Ive typed up allot of poorly worded, shity comments for social media. but I let them permeate for 1 month, Im glad I never posted them, or I would look more toxic than this woman.🤔

@blackrose2647

2 жыл бұрын

Nah, I'm good lol.

@spinmaster6995

2 жыл бұрын

Her bank account hurt her but they are definitely making up.

@insanezombie174

2 жыл бұрын

She far gone from saving by having this diabolical behavior.

"You fire him." This is a woman who will hold a grudge forever over every little thing.

Usually I know in three dates if I want to pursue something. Only exception to that was I met someone online, but I was out of state for work for a month.

I like really like what the floor had to say this rush. This is the most vocal about something it’s been in a while

My male friends have always told me to be clear on what I want and to be vocal about it. I think if both parties are clear on what they want when they’re courting each other it saves you time & any emotional distress. I had to learn the hard way but if I’m going out on a date and neither of us are feeling it or there’s no second date…I keep it pushing as Aba would say..

My sister spent 5 years with a guy in her precious 20's giving it up without any real commitment. She is almost 50 now and will never get married. One month is extreme but I 100% understand where she is coming from.

@gracelingirl5087

2 жыл бұрын

I know of a women that cried her heart out one day. She always wanted kids and she married a guy that didn't want kids. When she got 40 he dumped her and married a younger chick. Can you imagine the hurt especially what she gave up.... and lost

@Zachary-

2 жыл бұрын

@@gracelingirl5087 If you want kids, don't marry someone who doesn't want kids.

@MCMKids-hw2mi

2 жыл бұрын

@@Zachary- true but I think the point was she was willing to give up on her dreams of having kids to be with him, only to get dumped from him when she got old, for a younger girl.

@kfox5301

2 жыл бұрын

5 years in her 20s didn't ruin her whole life, it sounds like she's just not dateable. My oldest aunt was married for 56 years until her husband passed away. After ten years of him being gone she's started dating again and has a bf. Stop spitting bullshit.

@AG-xc5ni

2 жыл бұрын

@@kfox5301 Never said it ruined her life ahole. Go back to school and learn how to read.

There's no "should or shoudn't" in relationships it's up to the couple to decide wtf they want for their lives.

I appreciate how when I pause the video, the play button matches with your plaque on the wall

Having standards is fine. However for those to work you have to: A) recognise that the more criteria you have, the fewer people will fit them (and that the dating pool shrinks VERY quickly) B) ensure that your criteria are actually necessary. Too many "preferences" being turned into deal breakers ends in loneliness.

@positivemasculinity42

2 жыл бұрын

Too many "preferences" being turned into deal breakers,,, like " must have a dog, but not a full breed dog , must be a dog from a shelter" OMG

@K0sm1cKid

2 жыл бұрын

@@positivemasculinity42 Or "has to be a fan of the beatles". "Has to care about *insert current political talking point*"

@LM-ix7pk

2 жыл бұрын

@@positivemasculinity42 that’s what women do

@zibix4562

2 жыл бұрын

@@LM-ix7pk I mean must like dogs is actually reasonable. Going deeper like those examples is where it gets to be an issue.

@LM-ix7pk

2 жыл бұрын

@@zibix4562 so you have a perfect man but because he don’t like dogs you’re gonna reject him?

There are some people who need her advice because they are too patient. I feel like a basic premise is this: if one person feels like more than enough time has passed by, and like they are being strung along, they either need to talk about moving on or the ralationship prolly won't work. It's nobody's fault. People are just different.

@Vannabee13

2 жыл бұрын

I think the advice is sound foe who it's meant for (people looking for serious relationships who aren't interested in casual dating for too long.) However some of her reasoning is flawed. Saying guys want relationships with women who demand more of them isn't quite accurate. Fuck bois will be fuck bois and they won't be interested in women with higher standards. Being more demanding won't change them into guys who want committed relationships. But maintaining standards will help you weed them out. I hate how dating coaches always phase their strategies as "doing x will make more men/women want to date you" no, it doesn't. It LIMITS your options by making you filter out the people who aren't worth your efferts so you can focus on the one person who is actually compatible with what you want. There's no strategy to make people like you more. Only for you to stop wasting time on them.

@nathanaelsallhageriksson1719

2 жыл бұрын

@@Vannabee13 I agree for the most part with what you said, except I think you can have serious relationships even with longer casual dating phases. If someone wants to have a serious relationship, they might also want to make sure taht their partner is good, and feel like they need mroe time. As for the otehr stuff you said about how dating coaches phrase what they are doing, I agree with what you said fully. Also I agree that the reasoning of the girl is flawed, and that gays aren't interested in women who "want more of them". That limits options, as you said. But all of that still falls under the premise of everyone is different and what is a long dating phase for one person, might not be enough time for someone else to decide if they are happy or not.

@waduhek5994

2 жыл бұрын

@@nathanaelsallhageriksson1719 I don't think gays are interested in women at all 😂

@nathanaelsallhageriksson1719

2 жыл бұрын

@@waduhek5994 :) haha

We needed this one

I don't even feel comfortable calling people my friends in a month, let alone my girlfriend. My personal dating philosophy is that it's the closest I'll personally ever come to marriage. So I pick partners with the intent to be with them for the rest of my life without the legally binding contract in case things go tits up. With that, she has to be someone I am very good friends with, if not my absolute BEST friend. You don't make good or best friends within a 3-4 weeks time frame in any scenario, I'm sorry. LMAOOOO!

@JT-bt6jy

2 жыл бұрын

Depending on where you live, 3 years after living together it is considered a common law relationship and has similar rules to a marriage.

@OgIKidd

2 жыл бұрын

@@JT-bt6jy Noted, I'll look into that.

The second someone referrers to breaking things off in a relationship as “firing” that person, that just tells me you got some issues to deal with

@zibix4562

2 жыл бұрын

That exactly. Honestly if one is in a rush and another is not, then compatibility is not there. Referring to "firing" just tells me what kind of person you are for relationship ideals.

@jackkraken3888

2 жыл бұрын

Or is Donald Trump.

Her advice might be a bit goofy, but I like the fact that she's out here trying to find a serious relationship rather than telling women to sleep around.

@HypocritesExposd

2 жыл бұрын

Making ultimatums based on arbitrary timelines doesn’t sound like someone trying to find a serious relationship

@dracotias

2 жыл бұрын

She's also telling women to constantly rush through shit though and will probably push them to leaving the dude that WOULD be that serious relationship if only they took more than 5 minutes to get to know each other before applying all the labels

@rob6490

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like she used to sleep around and she's pissed that the guys she wanted didn't want something serious after

@Edude117

2 жыл бұрын

Honestly, she prolly DID sleep around and have her fun. She’s looking like she’s in her late 20’s, early 30’s and NOW wants to settle down and talk about “oh don’t date him unless he proposes in 20 mins.”

@Kirbystare1992

2 жыл бұрын

@@HypocritesExposd would you be saying this if she said 6 months instead of one month? Everyone keeps saying “ThErE iS nO TimEliNe”. If that’s the case why not commit boyfriend and girlfriend after one date since there is no timeline? I’m willing to bet 0.001 people in this comment section have done that lol. People got work, social lives, school, and kids half a year is reasonable amount of time to ask for commitment and to get know someone but maybe I’m crazy 🤷🏾‍♂️.

Aba's reaction at 9:07 was literally my brain when I heard what she said, I'm still trying to understand that nonsense but I'm so confused 😂

I used to long for a relationship so much but nowadays I’m just chillin. If it comes, then it comes. I know the type of girl I want, but I ain’t gon force anything, for these exact reasons. Many woman nowadays lack accountability from their part. Not all, but even the good girls are starting to turn and that’s real sad bro.

I feel like people tend to jump into relationship way too quick now aday. It's like a badge of honor to be with someone even if the relationship is doomed from the getgo or super toxic. As if the label is what is important and not what the label implies Took me and my girlfriend more than a year before we officialised our relationship. We value the label and we understand it is a commitment when you decide to be with someone. We wanted to make sure we were truly compatible with each other before jumping the gun. We talked about what we wanted, what we didn't want. We slowly opened up to each other and realised we could be with one another for a long time and be able to put the energy to work on the relationship if need be. We are now officially together and I never been in a more fulfilling relationship in my life, not even close.

@positivemasculinity42

2 жыл бұрын

The "relationship" badge, Is followed by the more powerful "victim" badge after the brake up. Gets attention on social media.

@davidbai3543

2 жыл бұрын

I feel like In your case you two would have worked out regardless of whether or not the title was there, because it seems you two were pretty committed to each other for the year that you weren’t official. Would you two have acted any different if let’s say you decided to be official 2 months in? Would being official have changed the way you two felt about each other? Correct me if I’m wrong but if you say the title is a commitment and it takes commitment to deserve the title, doesn’t having both committed 1 year to each other prior to obtaining the title mean that you two already deserved the title because you were already committed? In my opinion the title doesn’t really mean much if two people are already willing to commit.

It's a massive red flag of how manipulative a woman will be if she's using ultimatums BEFORE you two are even in a relationship (you lock a girl like this down and I promise you're in for a rough one buddy). Add to the fact that most women who complain about this behavior tend to go for bad boys, Chads, Tyrones, the guys who behave like this. Women like her are attracted most to them and then extrapolate how those 10% of men act onto 100% of the male demographic. They're the same women that don't want the men that would absolutely lock it down, immediately. They want and only deal with the men that are spinning plates and leading them on, but then complain that the men they date are spinning plates and leading them on... Ironic eh?

@Neo.Jordon

2 жыл бұрын

You date the girl who's a honest hoe then and smashes everyone right away. cause the modest girls are fucking Tyrone.....right

@tubblestop414

2 жыл бұрын

If you lead someone on like that, you're wasting their time. Relationships on their own have ultimatums and that's what "boundaries" are. If you aren't ready for ultimatums, don't enter a relationship. If you aren't fine with being controlled don't enter a relationship.

@austinjrb

2 жыл бұрын

@@tubblestop414 "If you aren't ready for ultimatums, don't enter a relationship. If you aren't fine with being controlled, don't enter a relationship". I genuinely hope that anyone who believes that is able to meet good people and have enriching experiences that will show them how off-the-mark those beliefs are. Acting those out will ruin any prospect at a loving and fulfilling relationship, because the respect for our partner's humanity and free-will is always going to be lacking. There is no room for trust or real intimacy in a relationship with someone who believes those things. It's literally impossible.

@haselbasil2488

2 жыл бұрын

@@austinjrb Don't listen to that other person, I'm a woman and I completely agree with you. Also I would never have anything to do with guys who "spin plates ", I've always known the bad boys are highly overrated.

@noblegalifreyan4551

2 жыл бұрын

@@haselbasil2488 if I may ask why is this stereotype belief a thing that woman like to go for bad boys and where does it steam from?

Best update ever!Made my day!I learn something from your videos all the time thanks @Aba & Peach it's my birthday today!!!!!

Each person has their own timeline. It takes me like a month to link in person after good convo and a bit longer than that to figure out if they'd be someone I could deal with long term. She's in a rush for stupid reasons.

My last two brain cells left are in a coma listening to this shit.. thank Abba and preach thanks.. Now i need to recover lol. I know many old couples that never dated or even labeled anything or even got married but they wanted to be with each other knowing they are with the only person that understands them. It happens a lot. When I old couples my grandparents aunts uncles, my best friends grandparents what's the secret.. all the said was no matter how old we were, we always just had a good time. The message was always the same, when they needed someone they were always there for each other and nobody forced anything. At the end of the day, they couldn't see each other without the other. I never heard the old couples talk about putting a stamp or a timeline or none of that shit. All it was, was just enjoying each others company. Building something and now matter how hard things got, they went through it together.

She put it in a bad, womanly, way but there is a kernel of truth to what she’s saying. You shouldn’t just mindlessly float through a “relationship” without at least working towards what you want. You shouldn’t give a 1 month ultimatum, but if you’ve been on a dozen dates or so, you should definitely ask what your position is.

@bbbbbbb51

2 жыл бұрын

As usual with a lot of women, deep down her heart is in the right place. It's just that everything coming out of her mouth makes her sound extremely self centered & dumb.

@blaiktrout376

2 жыл бұрын

I like this.

@jennylee5003

2 жыл бұрын

If someone doesn’t take the time to get to know you after a month they aren’t interested. You’re just an option.. they wanna see if something better will come along. Investing time and energy for a whole month with no DTR talk? Nah

@SSingh-nr8qz

2 жыл бұрын

This is reasonable advice of the 12 dates check in. I would go with 10 dates to save time.

@Maelstrom8

2 жыл бұрын

But blindly putting to women that it is entirely up to them to decide is disingenuous at best and downright harmful at worst. In most cases, men pay for the dates. So if the time extends past her month, it's not only women who are affected. Instead, if things seem to just meander, both parties need to evaluate whether there is a real fit between the two. Blind ultimatums rarely achieve their intended goal.

I have never met a dating coach that is in a relationship, let alone a long-term relationship or dare I say, married. They all sound like a bunch of bitter, vindictive people that can't get what they want so they think the other side is problem--when in all likelihood, it's them and their shit personality and lack of responsibility and accountability.

@RedDevilStudio

2 жыл бұрын

We seemed to have selected dating coach, from relationship coach from marriage coach. It used to be one and the same. Also money.

@Ory47

2 жыл бұрын

They exist but most use social media as a supplement to their business rather than it being the business itself, so they’re not that big. Mr. Locario is one dating coach whose been married for almost a decade, you can search him up on KZread

@BattleBladeWarrior

2 жыл бұрын

I agree.

@mrlocario

2 жыл бұрын

@@Ory47 FACTS!!!!

Nah I agree with her in part too. Either do it or move on. I see the point there is a difference between constant contact for a month v maybe once a week a text but the later to me is stringing along to. Basic steps: 1. They pass the visual test. 2. First Date they pass the can I stand to be around this person test. 3. How are they in bed. 4. Are they crazy. That's it. If that checks make a decision, dating or move on. After you can add the are they compatible long term and xyz but it doesn't take more than a regular month to figure if they are a candidate. People are getting too old and got to much more to do in their lives to have time to play I'm playing the field games. I got money to make and things to do. Being a player is not making me money.

Someone in my family is going through this right now. She has made a really good connection with someone and already the questions from all sides about what they are. They're being smart about it though. Despite being young they've already both learned from first relationships that hurrying the commitment along doesnt make it last. Often it is just the opposite.

@jen30551

2 жыл бұрын

Reported pin and reply that appears to be from A&P. It isnt them.

These double standards in dating are incredible. How about the tiktok ppl stop forcing random subjective rules? lol

@Wynter_Heat

2 жыл бұрын

That part also!!

@taylorlibby7642

2 жыл бұрын

It's actually really helpful I think. You see someone engaging in that ridiculous behavior and you know not to waste your time on them.

@umiluv

2 жыл бұрын

It’s not just TikTok. Women have been putting weird dating rules on other women for decades.

@transaryan

2 жыл бұрын

how you post this 12 days ago???

@nightgoggles9931

2 жыл бұрын

Nah, China is doing this shit intentionally to the west

NGL I partially agree with the one month thing. If we've already kissed and were in the intimacy phase, and I'm not sure after 4 weeks, then my heart aint in it tbh. If she leaves for another guy I wouldn't blame her. 🤷‍♂

@NoName12344o

2 жыл бұрын

You can have a conversation in one month, about where this whole thing is going. Like if you want to see each other more and what not

@BattleBladeWarrior

2 жыл бұрын

@@NoName12344o Yea, and if you do want to see each other more, then take the next step and go exclusive. All that means is you're not dating other people, which is giving you more time to focus on getting to know each other.

@NoName12344o

2 жыл бұрын

@@BattleBladeWarrior yeah you can talk about that, but it depends. Like if you'd see each other every day, or if you see each once a week. If the other person is really into you, they'll cut other people out and they'll probably tell you that too. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be exclusive. But it's also about having patience and giving them the chance to get to know you before wanting to be exclusive with you.

@eon001

2 жыл бұрын

@@NoName12344o well yeah, but that one month is the cut off point. We know as men how hard it is to even get dates. We're not going to play around if you meet someone you care about. It's not like we're flooded with options. If you're on the fence you most likely are not into her and is best to break away for both your sakes.

@rachethippyproductions

2 жыл бұрын

bruh that's 4 dates a month. If y'all ain't got shit to do then and y'all bums just tryna chill with folks every day or other day then go do you. But folks who actually got shit to do only will give 1 day out the week to see this person. That's not enough time to actually know the person.

I agree! more than a month he's playing games moves on...

where do you draw the line between a situationship and letting things play out?

We waited 6 months seeing each other more and more each month. We realized we truly enjoy one another’s company on good and bad days in our lives. That meant so much to us and we decided we really wanted and damn near needed each other. 🤷🏾‍♂️

@umiluv

2 жыл бұрын

That is so cute.

@bbbbbbb51

2 жыл бұрын

@@The-DAWG957 humans need each other regularly. How you think you got those groceries? You think you can build your own transportation, grow your own food, build your own house, etc? Needing people for goods & living is literally no different than needing people for emotional support, turbulence, or happiness. We all need other people for just about everything in life. I'm a huge ass introvert & I know this. Get real bro

@Yunimilipitaca

2 жыл бұрын

But God? As if that didn’t count in per your argument. Mature, and chill the fuck out.

@Kiruma_Tatsuki

2 жыл бұрын

@@The-DAWG957 agreed

@Maelstrom8

2 жыл бұрын

@@bbbbbbb51 Well said and very true.

She gives "I was a side piece my entire life" energy

The talking stage differs from person to person. This line of thinking she’s pushing should be applied maybe after the couple has established they do like each other and they have gotten to know one another. However, what comes before all of this is both parties communicating what they want. An ounce of attention doesn’t mean someone wants to be in a relationship with you.

The way these guys react is sooooo good! Omegalul!

I am so glad I grew up in the 80’s. Before all these sensitive people where courting was a necessity. Getting to know someone took time b4 any irrational decision was made. Great parents educated me on being patient and to watch out for red flags. A lot of undercover people out and you find that out within a month.

@Cantetinza17

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. I agree I miss the courting ritual. Taking your time.

@vmac38

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed. This woman is a walking red flag.

@melaninmoxiellc963

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed. Sometimes it takes a little longer to find those red flags and dealbreakers, so not rushing into intimacy and being intentional about being transparent when getting to know one another is the key.

@Sunny-tc3ul

2 жыл бұрын

Yes

@craigbrown6718

2 жыл бұрын

It was really cool. Walks on the beach, movies, learning how to waltz, making mixtapes with a dual cassette player: the process. Making mistakes was priceless

"You shouldn't be paying for anything for her if she is not your girlfriend" I wonder how this lady and other women would feel if men adopted that mindset.

@vector3d654

2 жыл бұрын

We would not have a problem. Y would I ask a random stranger to pay for my bills? Wouldn't even ask my bf.

@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986

2 жыл бұрын

@@vector3d654 most women would expect a guy to pay for the first date and probably the ones after when they’re still in the “seeing each other” phase and not officially together. Most women would expect a guy to pay for things for her before actually dating

@EvolianTiger

2 жыл бұрын

We'd simply go for the man that's willing to pay lol. It's you who can barely get a match on dating apps, not women. You can be replaced immediately.

@bbbbbbb51

2 жыл бұрын

@@EvolianTiger up your reading comprehension skills.

@ahub87

2 жыл бұрын

@@sirsurnamethefirstofhisnam7986 I always thought that was odd. If we’re not in a relationship we should be going Dutch.

Been with my girl for two years and I’m older and have more dating experience so I know we don’t need to rush into the relationship. Take it one day at a time and learn and try to understand one another so the relationship grows healthy.

My girlfriend and I didn't start dating until about a year after we met and the whole time we were talking to each other constantly. A friend of mine has this exact mindset where it shows interest in a guy and expects to start dating them immediately after sleeping with them. She then continues to bombard them with texts about why can't we date? Why aren't we dating yet? Etc. I told her that she can't rush in and force the issue. It has to happen organically.

This chick speaks so authoritatively about something that she knows little about. People, please don't take cues from social media heads who don't make much sense. She won't even make a video without a filter, yet she wants to dispense "profound" relationship advice.

@Jeromeparker5150

2 жыл бұрын

I seriously pity the men that date these women. Because there is just no way

Sadly these women, even the lowly ones, can find a dude whenever they want. But this is how they end up as single cat ladies

@ragejinraver

2 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@positivemasculinity42

2 жыл бұрын

Modern woman's mantra "Dont settle, I would rather die bitter and alone , than live a happy life with a 5f8 guy with a average job who loves me and brings joy to my life" 😒😒

@mikeoxlong3676

2 жыл бұрын

@@positivemasculinity42 Well it's not too dissimilar from my mantra. Don't settle. If they don't want you in their prime I don't want them in their decline. Yeah I'll be bitter and lonely but it's better then being bitter because I had to settle for a 35 year old used up lady and I'm raising Chad's kids.

Preach , that was some BARS my guy 💪🏻

I have such a hard time with these online dating tips/coaches. Every single person and relationship is different. I like how Preach said he just winged it. Same lol I am lolling at the “when you require, you inspire” line. Notice it didn’t say “when you require, you acquire a partner”

Single women keep women single. Keep listening to these bitter people with bitter energy and you'll end up just like em.

She's either single giving this advice...or her significant other gave her a one month notice?! 😂😂

I’ve never experienced sleeping with someone and then having it lead to a relationship, it’s always relationships and then sex. Not that I’m opposed to it. Just that every girl I’m interested in emphasizes how they’re looking for a relationship and not anything casual. I personally feel it would benefit people more if it were normal to sleep with someone before deciding if they’re an official couple or not. But it’s the fear of being used for “just sex” that kinda ruins that from happening

@radhiadeedou8286

2 жыл бұрын

You mean it would benefit you. What would benefit society is if people got married

“I’m claiming bars” 🤣🤣 ima use that line

This woman is actually on to something in terms of her general concept. As someone who has never liked wasting time as a whole, one month is a good enough time to determine compatability. If you aren't actually serious and just want to hit and go, then just state that. Don't hide "I wanted to sleep with 12 other people while I'm talking to you" behind "I need more time to see if I really like you." I actually feel bad for someone I know from college who has been engaged to her partner for ten years. That's so much to make no progress in a relationship.

@K0sm1cKid

2 жыл бұрын

It's not wholly unfair to expect more after a month honestly. As a guy if I am super into a girl and she gives that ultimatum i'll say "that's perfect because I just need the green light to go ahead". If I am not super into her i'll let her know how i'm feeling and move about our business. I don't think that rule is too bad.

@anthonyharrison7728

2 жыл бұрын

If a girl tries to push me to agree to paying for a whole month of dates but stipulates the relationship will go nowhere until she can determine our "compatibility", I'm going to see her as a user looking to get free meals and trips.

@rachethippyproductions

2 жыл бұрын

1 month ain't shit. You don't know shit about a person in a month. They're just showing you what you want, you dont really know that person. If anything about 3 months of getting to actually know each other. Doing shit seeing if the energy stays consistent etc. Disagreements will arise at least within 3 months, 1 month ain't shit. That's like 4 dates within a month on the weekends. How the fuck you know that person enough to be with that person exclusively. Y'all bugging.

@darthkenobi6726

2 жыл бұрын

@@K0sm1cKid If a girl gives me an ultimatum I'm taking that as the first sign that she's gonna be a controlling bitch.

@psoozan9648

2 жыл бұрын

@@rachethippyproductions it depends on the 2 people involved. If you hit it off with someone and you're both prioritize finding someone to be in a relationship with, it's normal to go on two to three dates a week. When that happens, you can know quite a bit about someone within a month.

I think different people have different ideas for what relationships are. Some use the "dating" phase (before becoming bf/gf) to get to know the person while others, like myself, use the bf/gf stage to get to know the person. Dating is just to gauge attraction for me and bf/gf stage is when I get to know them, what their morals and goals are and see if we're compatible. It's hard to see if we could work out when in the dating stage, they're also seeing other people so how would I know if they're good to have an rship with? But 30 days isnt enough for everyone, that's for sure!

@newtoncountry5937

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! Finally, a sane person. This should be top comment!

I agree 100% with preach! Wing it! Let whatever flows flow! I want to hear from aba & preach when is the soonest to sleep with a man? And how can i get him to stick around? 💕💕💕