This is one of the most debilitating symptoms of ADHD. It’s caused me to miss out on so many amazing opportunities and has caused me to mess up many friendships and relationships.

@elibarnes7160

3 жыл бұрын

God I felt that...

@Tripl3333

3 жыл бұрын

same here.......I didn't know it had a name/definition until I watched this video.

@Proutprutproutprout

3 жыл бұрын

I was wondering for a while if I was on the autistic spectrum but the more I research adhd the more I feel that this might be it. I probably will never know tho because my country is not very forward in testing adultbof mental health in general.

@paigemaystadt5497

3 жыл бұрын

I lost a job because of it I had to quit

@mandarinablue8438

3 жыл бұрын

Yo I'm wondering how I still have two friends.

I used to think everyone felt so useless when they get something wrong.

@TheMightyShell

4 жыл бұрын

Wait, they dont? I'm so scared to get tested

@Tropicalpisces

3 жыл бұрын

I won't try an activity unless I'm sure I can be good at it. If I try and suck in the beginning, chances are I am "on to the next one".

@shadowmystery5613

3 жыл бұрын

@@Tropicalpisces I've tortured myself with painting and drawing to overcome that. I've seen improvements, but did quell that feeling of anxiety and incompetence just a bit.

@kace002pumpkinwizard

3 жыл бұрын

@@Tropicalpisces it's a constant cycle. I can never sustain any momentum or growth

@Tropicalpisces

3 жыл бұрын

@@kace002pumpkinwizard and here it is I thought it was just lil ole effed up me. Thank you. 🙂🤔 it's very nice to not feel alone in my way of thought.

Social rejection literally feels like you are being stabbed in the heart.

@johnlarsen3508

25 минут бұрын

yep

I'd say that my fear of rejection has even extended to a fear of rejecting others. Because I subconsciously assume that since rejection is so painful for me, it must be very painful for everyone else too. And so I tend to have a hard time making connections with others both out of fear of them rejecting me but also out of fear of me having to reject them-- especially when it comes to dating! I'm terrified that I'll end up having to reject someone.

@ADHDMastery

4 жыл бұрын

It's horrible to live with isn't it?

@marika4836

4 жыл бұрын

ADHD Management it really is! But it’s become so much less horrible to live with ever since finding out that it’s a real thing lots of us with ADHD share.

@jimbobbles2265

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, that's a tough one, sounds like you're quite self aware atleast. I've had someone ask me out before and I couldn't directly say "no" because I was scared of rejecting them, I just hoped they would get the message from me making excuses to not meet up. The problem was further confused because when I was around them I ended up showing interest in them because I couldn't stand making them feel rejected in person either. And then feeling bad afterwards for finding it so hard to do a "simple" thing like say "no". Whew.

@marika4836

3 жыл бұрын

Jim Bobbles Oh boy. I have been there!

@seaweedbeach

3 жыл бұрын

Same! I think this is why I’m still single. I still feel guilty for breaking up with my ex 12 years ago 😣

I hate how telling people no causes me physical pain because I don't want them being mad

@emptycoffin

3 жыл бұрын

Your pain. I feel it. And if you feel like I do, I'm so so sorry you have to go through it.

@arielle222

3 жыл бұрын

omg i thought i was alone

@mwjc2

3 жыл бұрын

@@arielle222 Never, ever alone! That is ultimate and terrible feeling. Find your tribe, your comfort people, they are out there. And they will help you by not ever telling you what to do, just by sharing their stories, you will feel at home and relieved, because those are YOUR feelings in any of those situations. Good luck, and be well; you are loved

@TanvirSingh500

3 жыл бұрын

@@arielle222 ❤️❤️❤️

@moldycarrot9267

3 жыл бұрын

Always leaving the last comment in text conversations just to make them not feel bad, cause you know what that's like. Plot-twist, now you're the one getting left on read!

This is me. The absolute worst part for me is replaying old bad scenarios and stuff feeling angry or irritated or bent out of shape about something long after the event but really struggling to not think on it or to let it go. My brain is like a CD album on repeat of bad scenarios of the past and it makes me depressed and is exhausting. It’s horrible

@iemgote7249

3 жыл бұрын

And it’s so fucking painful too. The scenarios are so vivid to me emotionally. Every time I get angry, irritated or depressed about something it just goes down what seems like an endless spiral of rabbit holes.

@tahleasinparker3660

3 жыл бұрын

NLmitchieNL when I feel like that and get frustrated at myself, I pretend I’m speaking to a kid, or me as a kid, and give them enthusiastic encouragement like “you did a good job today, but next time we are going to do it slightly differently and do it even better!” And it helps

@suzanne7752

3 жыл бұрын

Ouch me too big time xx

@douglassbatista

3 жыл бұрын

I still dwell on the bad bullying I experienced in school even though I'm in my early thirties. If a person fails to do something they told me they would, my first thought is that they're up to something, that it was intentional, when they most likely--and usually the true-- explanation is that they got held up at work, in traffic, forgot about it etc.

@tahleasinparker3660

3 жыл бұрын

Douglas Batista yes, i do that. It has taken me a long time to learn that it is rarely about me, and that people just forget or make mistakes. I don’t know who said it, but I try to remember the quote “don’t assume malice when ignorance will do”. I think it’s very true

I was diagnosed with ADHD since my teenage, spent my whole life fighting ADHD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Much respect to mother nature the great magic shrooms.

@SharonFalcon-fj7nb

Ай бұрын

Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.

@nicholda436

Ай бұрын

Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Australia. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.

@mattjeffery09

Ай бұрын

YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

@DarlingtonFrancis

Ай бұрын

Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the morning after. So no hangovers. No depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now have a more calm mind

@laurj09

Ай бұрын

How do I reach out to him? Is he on Insta

This is the worst part about ADHD. It makes you fail constantly due to executive dysfunction and makes it hard for you to deal with failure.. it’s a system designed to keep you from never staying happy 😢

@arielle222

3 жыл бұрын

RIGHT?!

@shteinehmproductions2722

3 жыл бұрын

What system are you referring to? India's caste system...capitalism?

@glanni

3 жыл бұрын

@@shteinehmproductions2722 I think they mean a programmed "computer" system on your brain. Allow _RSD.exe_ to access your memory?

@moldycarrot9267

3 жыл бұрын

@@shteinehmproductions2722 One's mindset technically is a system, I don't know what you're nitpicking on tbh.

@beep3242

3 жыл бұрын

@@shteinehmproductions2722 Doubt they meant a literal system, moreso that the cycle of executive dysfunction making it difficult to do things and RSD making you feel bad for it is frustrating. In this case they're comparing this painful cycle to a system built to keep you from happiness.

I’ve been searching (ruminating *intensely*) for answers as to “what’s wrong with me” for so long now, and the last two days I’ve spent hyperfixated on researching RSD have given me so much relief. I would have never thought that my ADHD was the source of my perceived insanity and now I feel a little less insane

@andrea.1115

Жыл бұрын

OMG SAME LITERALLY DESCRIBES MY WHOLE LIFE💀

@ranc1977

Жыл бұрын

​@@andrea.1115 Same here. I started to write blog about social anxiety in 2020. I literally wrote down the process of discovering Complex Trauma first in 2021. And then RSD in 2023. I wrote very detailed symptoms of social anxiety - which now corelate 100 percent to RSD. I was actually describing RSD which is extremely hard to describe due to Confirmation bias and wrong definitions and misdiagnosis by official medical books, CBT and other people.

@louellenb

10 ай бұрын

Me too!

@Chris-fg7sn

6 ай бұрын

I had to do a double take of the username of this post as it's literally word for word what is going on in my head, constantly.

@Shot5hells

6 ай бұрын

Yea I thought I was going insane, lol

Was just diagnosed at 42 with ADHD last week and researching a lot about it now. This video sounds like my whole life condensed down to 6 minutes.

@danuk2136

3 жыл бұрын

What's your treatment??

@michaelbrown1627

3 жыл бұрын

Diagnosed at age 45. Everything made sense.

@GeorgeSladerephotographica

3 жыл бұрын

Same here! Why has it taken so long?

@emmollnova2917

2 жыл бұрын

Right?! 🤦‍♀️

@carynmartin6053

2 жыл бұрын

Welcome!

It’s like I have an allergic reaction to feedback about my mistakes even if I know very well that it’s supposed to be helpful

@GeorgeSladerephotographica

3 жыл бұрын

I have severe allergic reactions to certain foods, and I get your reference completely! Well stated, thank you.

@Itsakirayeah

2 жыл бұрын

N. Ppnpp. Mp pp p Mm

I was diagnosed with ADD as a kid, and never learned how to properly deal with it. I always wondered why I just shut down when I try to do anything that has any risk of judgment and this really just fits too well.

@josephobetta2732

3 жыл бұрын

Damn dude. This is me. Anytime I win a chess game, I quickly go offline so for the fear of Losing later.

@josephobetta2732

3 жыл бұрын

@@aprilmeowmeow dude, I never knew there are other people like me. My friends think I'm weird or anti social too. I just tend to avoid everything that involves confrontation with other people.

@mwjc2

3 жыл бұрын

yup

@mwjc2

3 жыл бұрын

@@josephobetta2732 yup

@jaideepa6474

Жыл бұрын

@@josephobetta2732 Bro, how doin now?

How have I never heard of this? Mind. Blown. “Always trying to chase perfection and avoiding things because of anxiety” - spot on

@ranc1977

Жыл бұрын

What is really mind-blowing is the fact that CBT which is misdiagnosing people deliberately for 20, 30 years now. CBT knows all these information but they choose not to release it in public since it would mean that narcissists in authority positions such as corrupt medical industry would need to step down. RSD will re-define what is abuse. CBT now claims that abuse is hallucination and that we are hallucinating abuse and that toxic people do not exist and that other people cannot make us feel anything, hence rationalize abuse and gives its blessing. That is mind-blowing.

Apart from the “perception of rejection,” actually experiencing rejection was emotionally debilitating. I was mistreated at my most recent job. They gave poor feedback, criticized me in front of my coworkers, failed to communicate their expectations, and eventually fired me. Afterwards, I was emotionally distraught for weeks. I was physically lethargic and had daily breakdowns. This is literally one of the worst experiences of my life and I have been too afraid to pursue a career ever since.

@shaggyalonso

3 жыл бұрын

This has been my experience with a breakup, which mirrored much of what you've described above, culminating in being dumped in public. It felt like the most total form of rejection possible and confirmation of all the worst fears we have about ourselves. I'm determined more than ever to do Psilocybin to somehow give me a different perspective on this, because I truly am suicidal at the moment, I see no way forward through life due to the factors explained so well in this video. Articles like this one give me my last bit of hope that I'm not just completely fucked reset.me/personal-story/psilocybin-healed-me-from-crippling-depression-and-anxiety/#comments

@JosieDrake1995

3 жыл бұрын

Shaggy Alonso hey hope you’re doing okay. I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I hope you and I can both move forward in relationships and careers without being held back by failure. I still have not pursued any job since (somewhat due to coronavirus) and to be honest I’m terrified of trying to meet some new job’s expectations for me. The thing that keeps me going is the hope that I will be happier someday. Maybe not a different person as there are a lot of things I doubt will ever change. But I hope for better days

@slimbruddah625

3 жыл бұрын

Been there before. I've had 40 jobs and I'm 30 years old

@sandrahelen8559

3 жыл бұрын

Work and school have always been a struggle for me. Given the fact that ADHD makes it hard for me to focus on directions and also contributes to my bad memory, then comes the RSD. Anytime I’m criticized at work I’m afraid my boss hates me or I’ll be fired. I have the most difficult job I’ve ever had currently and it took me a long time to get comfortable at it

@Meenaia

3 жыл бұрын

So sorry you had to go through this, Sarah. Those employers sound like insecure jerks who projected thier crap on you. Hope you are doing better

Things I hate about rsd - feelings of isolation and misunderstanding... people close to you thinking/saying that you’re being irrational/overly emotional etc. when you have good reason to think and feel the way you do, but they can’t understand why you’re this way, and that it’s more difficult for you to manage intense emotions.

I was the strong clever guy who failed to apply for anything out of fear of rejection. This despite almost always getting the few things I did apply for. For instance, I could drive fine having grown up on a farm but was afraid to take a drivers' test for fear of failing. Finally got my licence in my 40s (first try) only when I absolutely had to. I rode my bicycle everywhere year around until then. So many opportunities lost. I love to do my best, suceed and impress, but applying for anything feels near impossible. I would need to be invited.

@sylvesterani5274

3 жыл бұрын

So true.. i totally can relate.

@ChristinaChrisR

3 жыл бұрын

Omg. Leif, you just described exactly how it’s been for me all my life. I’ve “always” been aware of it, somehow though it seems almost impossible to overcome. Thank you for posting that comment.

@annettedillon3233

3 жыл бұрын

Leif Harmsen yes, I need to be invited, so I lose out on major events!

@susannesonnenschein2878

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, same with me. but i thik as i have the same ADHD /ADD and RSD. I developed a avoidend personality disorder. It is all a part of the same reason. And also, i was diagnosed with 40. Now i am going to be 50. And a lot of damage is done since. Even if i now, know i suffer from this conditons. It is really hard. And i thik you can proud to make some steps. I just sometimes don´t get out of my flat. Because of this feelings... Every single step is a good thing.

@josephmueller3752

3 жыл бұрын

Did u ever get a girlfriend?

I’m an INFP, but what I actually am Is someone with inattentive ADHD and RSD. Well, there you go!

@njmy85

3 жыл бұрын

Me toooooo

@amandal6934

3 жыл бұрын

Same

@ashmckinlay1402

3 жыл бұрын

Same, it's quite hard to know which is a symptom of which, or if the two conditions are related and comorbid.

@grendelsmama2302

3 жыл бұрын

Yep... same here... 😕 and great channel BTW 😊

@TalieValentine

3 жыл бұрын

Weird, I’m an infp and this fits me so well.

Clicked this video while studying for an exam and stopped studying 30 seconds in. Every thing you said resonated with things I've felt my entire life - many of which have had me walking a thin of complete self destruction. I wish there was a cure..

@ADHDMastery

4 жыл бұрын

Same!

@Culwhickbeocca

4 жыл бұрын

ADHD Management You mean Med’s *DON’T* treat this?!

@ADHDMastery

4 жыл бұрын

Yes they do. The problem is a lack of support and guidance. Meds won't give you much more motivation if you hate what you're doing either, the pilot has to want to fly.

@Culwhickbeocca

4 жыл бұрын

ADHD Management I am 30 years old and suffering from lots of these symptoms. I would love to live like the Amish people. I read an article that said that they rarely get ADHD, and that is because they are far more dependent on family and hard work, and are void of technologies. I read also that abusive childhood can lead to more neural pathways that function to predict danger at the expense of pathways that help anticipate behaviors that bring reward. This is big! It means more literal energy is going towards fight, flight, and freeze, and my suspicion is that after chronic states this kind, the prominent response is freeze. I need reward to break out of this cycle! Check it out! www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6292235/ Definitely something I identify with. I hate the negative affects on my personality from my upbringing.

@malepeche

3 жыл бұрын

Is the most painful adhd symptom of all to me... and my psic doesn't pay too much attention to it :(

The last couple of days I realized that I maybe have ADD and this fits like hand in glove! I need to get tested....

@aurorawinch8607

3 жыл бұрын

ADD is the former term for what we now call ADHD. ADD is now outdated when referring to this condition.

@fatub8010

3 жыл бұрын

Do you have it?

@heiditrampedach2084

3 жыл бұрын

@@fatub8010 I don't know jet, I'm in the middle of the process with my Psychiatrist.

@ekaterina3066

3 жыл бұрын

Just curious when you made an appointment did you specifically say you suspect it’s ADD?

@heiditrampedach2084

3 жыл бұрын

@@ekaterina3066 Yes.

I just want to give everyone a hug and let you guys know that I’m sorry that we are all going through this together, I can’t say things will get better but let’s keep going I love ❤️ you all, we got this, keep researching and bettering yourself each and every day, meditate 🧘🏾‍♀️as much as you can

I spent a majority of my life thinking I was stupid or too sensitive. This is one of the most debilitating aspects of ADHD.

"fearful of anticipated rejection.. " that would be me. As a person with ADHD, I'm a risk taker through and through. But I'd rather face down a great white shark than risk rejection from a small child.

@guillaumeb6698

Жыл бұрын

Yeah but what if the great white shark swims away cuz' you're not to his tastes ? Sorry, just wanted to do a silly joke :p

This video was really important for me!! It’s my biggest problem with my ADHD because it’s destroyed my self esteem and given me severe imposter syndrome. :( Thanks got makings this!

@abbysworld05

3 жыл бұрын

3rd grade stopped me from trying to run for things every again and i wasen't even dignoised with adhd at that time yet, i got dignoised at 9 which was in 4th grade but i think i had sytomptms of adhd since 1st grade

Edit: As some people here are implying and calling us this - I just want to clarify that there's a difference between being an overly sensitive SNOWFLAKE and genuinely feeling emotions and emotional pain more intensely than the average person. The first is caused by culture and upbringing, but the second is a genetic wiring of the brain that is beyond a person's control.

@littlewhitepetals8790

3 жыл бұрын

Yes there is and I really appreciate you talking about this and sharing your understanding!

@christianknuchel

3 жыл бұрын

Knowing how people with ADHD are belittled, shamed and invalidated for their innate attributes and struggles, I'm not a fan of doing the same to others. I feel your post subtly nurtures the idea that it's okay to make assumptions about whether someone's sensitivity is "valid" or not, just with a more nuanced spin to it. I'm not saying that's your intention, but the vibe that comes across anyway.

@ADHDMastery

3 жыл бұрын

@@christianknuchel I only posted this because people in the comments are calling us it. I'm defending us because we're not being entitled because of culture like some are implying.

@christianknuchel

3 жыл бұрын

@@ADHDMastery Oh, right. Yeah, I totally get that. =\

@evabba

3 жыл бұрын

@@ADHDMastery thanks for clarifying. I was wondering if these were your words or the words of commenters. Thanks for what you do :)

Omg extreme jealousy at work yes thats me and I think everyones out to get me.

@BlGGESTBROTHER

4 жыл бұрын

Me too bro. You’re not alone!

@tylersoto7465

3 жыл бұрын

I felt like that all my life and felt like I was the only living person in the world and everyone else is a robot or fake

I’ve just entered into a new relationship.. He treats me like a princess and I know he’s invested... But I live in constant fear of rejection and abandonment.. I feel he’s going to change his mind because I haven’t heard from him.. The pain is like someone is grabbing my insides.. I can’t relax and just enjoy being loved this is because I’ve been rejected soo many times before and criticised due to my ADHD symptoms.. I hate it... Adhd can be a gift but RSD makes it my curse!!

@nicolegoose567

3 жыл бұрын

Yea... I felt that 😢

@kewuofthedownside

2 жыл бұрын

Me too oml, I love my boyfriend and I do know deep down that he loves me too, but anytime he has a busy day and doesn't talk to me for hours I always get so scared that he's doing it because he's trying to let me go even though that isn't the case

@dameaustel

2 жыл бұрын

This is the story of me in relationships. It's good you recognise it. that's a great start. Thanks its helped me too.

It’s really invalidating when people are like, “but everyone has that”. I really don’t want to bring it up ever again.

@sangdy

18 күн бұрын

@Daathiel It’s sad to see. Some people want empathy yet lack it themselves.

I had no idea these reactions came from my ADD. I always thought that (as I’ve been called too many times before) I was “too sensitive” or “melodramatic”. I don’t know what it’s like being a man with RSD but as a girl growing up with RSD nearly convinced me something was seriously wrong with me

@MsMonashee

Жыл бұрын

My whole life. You are too sensitive. You need to grow a thicker skin. And my emotional incontinence. Rsd is a perfect description. Didn’t help that my parents were huper critical.

@ot9twicee117

Жыл бұрын

Same :(

@erikuu96

Жыл бұрын

I would say it's a bit worse, as you are seen as your peers as not confident or brave, not the best trait to have around other men and with women, as you can't even ask out on a date or just talk for even friendship.

@jumpupdown2556

5 ай бұрын

Well as a guy with RSD, it's essentially ended my life. The emotional instability that comes with RSD means that other guys don't look up to me or respect me. Women are put off from my overreactions and weak control over my feelings and lack of strength. So, I'm a bottom of the barrel man who is aware of that fact, and not at all alright with it.

Lifetime of hurt and not feeling good enough for anyone! Now I'm older, I'm over it, and couldn't care less what others think. My mom and dad have passed, so apart from my loving and understanding husband, I couldn't care less! Thank you for another great video.

@1chipchap

11 ай бұрын

Did you struggle in your marriage at all? Relationship is hard and I am determined to heal and not ruin what I have..a life time of pain and I'm tired of it. I am glad to hear you have a loving husband to support you too

I don’t think I’ve ever come across a video that has explained what I’ve experienced my whole life so perfectly. It brought tears to my eyes because I’ve never felt understood by anybody, and watching all of your videos has shown me I’m not alone, and now I have a better understanding of why I act the way I do. I never would’ve thought I had inattentive adhd and I can see why it goes undiagnosed quite often . So thank you.

I still don’t know if I have ADHD or not, but I always felt like emotions hit me 10x harder than normal people. One time my grandpa criticized me in the car and after I got home I was so angry, I punched my plastic punching bag in my room for like an hour until it popped and the emotion barely faded away. I also have social anxiety to where I feel like everyone is judging me in the worst way possible. I’m learning to deal with them better, but I still feel them, I just have to accept it and move on.

on their verge of tears bc this describes my “perfectionism” much more clearly and logically

Being so afraid of being rejected by those few who I really care about that I end up clinging to them, behaving obsessively, and driving them away. When, if I could have just behaved normally, they probably never would have left.

@gunyoda2356

Ай бұрын

thatraccoonqueen I really felt that!

Wow. I just realized I spent most of my childhood with these worries. This is why even in my 30s I can tear up when spoken to as a let down.

I'm almost 50 and this finally answers so many questions for me! Now I'm paranoid, extremely guarded, and I have a great fear of failure. This hurts so much. 😞

@GeorgeSladerephotographica

3 жыл бұрын

I'm almost 60 and hoping I can somehow set this aside. It's been a very tough struggle, especially so over the last twelve years after losing the one job that made me feel whole.

I’ve found the best way to improve this is to put yourself out there more and not care about what others think as much. It’s tough to do but it works!

@GeorgeSladerephotographica

3 жыл бұрын

VERY tough to do.

@moldycarrot9267

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe your RSD is very different from mine, but It's hard to ignore it 100% of the time. Percieved rejection is enlarged much more than percieved acceptance for me. My mind is actively looking for signs of rejection, then it inflates it until it can feel crippling. I can feel accepted and happy for a long time, maybe because I've felt confident for a good period of time. But then I catch up on some sign of rejection and it honestly ruins me for a while. Then I need to work through those feelings and leave them behind me. I've never felt like I have any control over this (but maybe I can have) But sure, your suggestion isn't bad per se, the alternative is far, far worse.

@raghuveerdani8401

Жыл бұрын

How to not think about what others think of us? We do not deliberately think about it. These thoughts subconsciously cloud our minds. Is there a way to remove them?

Ruminating is one of the hardest parts especially being so isolated with ADHD….you go over this negative stuff in your head for days even weeks when everyone else can move on

This for me is the worst part of add! Literally ruined my childhood, you explain/articulate it perfectly! BTW, I messaged you on your Instagram! Hope you get to hear my message!

I've yet to meet someone who can understand and relate to RSD. (All relationships) Can make life pretty lonely at times 😔

Felt this way lifelong. Solitude became easier than the pain of rejection. Everyone I ever loved praised my efforts too rarely and criticized me relentlessly and the lesson was "open your heart, you'll definitely get hurt" After 30 years, I have realized the negatives of socialising and developing relationships, outweigh the positives by a huge margin.

This answers so many questions. You manage to keep me engaged enough to finish every video. Thank you so much for making these videos, it really makes me feel less alone!

@ADHDMastery

4 жыл бұрын

Great! That's my aim every time I make one. Job done 😊

@sk0kiE

4 жыл бұрын

@@ADHDMastery this is literally the video I need today

@carynmartin6053

2 жыл бұрын

Same!

Yep. You got that right. At 74, I just want to stay home where I don’t get judged all day, the way it was when I worked in a corporation

I always wondered why I felt rejection and criticism so strongly compared to my peers. Every aspect of my life has been in some way ruined by this. It makes it so hard to move forward.

Oh my god, this is me! I have diagnosed ADHD but have not been diagnosed with RSD. I never self-diagnose myself, however I do think I have RSD. Knowing that this is a real thing and that other people have it makes me feel much less alone :) One thing that always gets me is when I say something and someone says (even in a non-negative way) "You've already told me that." I honestly get so mad at myself and convince myself that I'm annoying, even if I'm not. I also tend to feel shame so much more than others and feel criticized, even when people mean it in a good way. AND my brain has a tendency to remind myself of the times I embarrassed myself in the past, then I can't stop thinking about it. It sucks. Anyway, thank you so much for posting this!

@ADHDMastery

4 жыл бұрын

I don't think anyone actually gets 'diagnosed' with RSD. I personally think RSD should be included as an integral part of ADHD according to the DSM-5.

I got my ADHD diagnosis at 25 and now at 27 I'm just beginning to understand that many of my struggles are not just caused by a bad personality. I was always made to feel like I am a bad person or child, that I just actively chose to do bad things or don't do what is expected of me. I realize now I can't change my brain, but I can try to take responsibility for how I deal with my ADHD. Thank you for the videos. Sometimes they hurt to watch but it's an important hurt.

RSD is a nightmare for those (like me) who have it.

I feel really shitty when someone don’t reply to me for a while I always feel like I’ve annoyed them away or something but really their just busy with things and get back to me eventually when they can haha. So much more, I’ve been diagnosed since I was little but I was never educated on it. So youtubers liek yourself are helping me a lot! So thanks boss!

RSD has interfered with potential relationships my entire life, but the most destructive was how my father saw me. He would yell at me for being "too sensitive" and tell me "Boys shouldn't cry that much". He never tried to understand me. As an adult, it's painful to think about how much RSD sabotaged my relationships before they had a chance to start.

@muslimahsharing4761

Жыл бұрын

That ' crying too much' is also a big reason why i think something is going on with my teen son. He is 17 and often cry out of frustration.

This information has shown me a way out of a terrible and long lasting heartbreak. I had no idea RSD was a thing, but now that I’ve learned more about it and ADHD, I’m sure I have them. I have been in a perfectly torturous situation for around 7 years. Having fallen in love with an unavailable person, who didn’t exactly reject me, but who will never be with me…and trying to be bandmates with that person has been a special kind of hell. Now I understand why I felt I was being stabbed in the heart for 7 years. I can say that there’s nothing quite like being on stage and having to project yourself to the audience as if your heart isn’t bleeding out inside. The information you have shared here is like a life preserver in the sea I’ve been drowning in. Thank you. I always struggled with relationships and was on the verge of giving up. Now that I know this aspect of myself and what it is, I’m thinking that a solo life is definitely the life for me. I have no desire to feel the feelings anymore. Don’t ever wanna “fall in love” again.

My son, who is nine now, but has displayed the symptoms of RSD since he was 5, has experienced a huge decrease in symptoms since he started taking the medications concerta, guanfacine, Zoloft, and a tiny dose of risperdone. I think the concerta and guanfacine are the ones that help the most. He also does play therapy, moving into CBT, but it wasn’t until the meds that we saw a huge change. We were lucky to find a doctor who actually knows about RSD, it just sucks it took so long. But reading in the comments sections of all the videos I’ve seen on RSD, it’s apparent that many people go into adulthood having no idea what is wrong with them, so we are fortunate that we figured it out while he was still young. I thought for a long time that he could be bi polar, though that diagnosis is never made in such young children. I was just grasping at straws. I even considered BPD, which would be unheard of in a nine year old boy, but his symptoms were so similar to those of BPD, it was the only sense I could make. Just having a name/diagnosis to put with his symptoms has been a huge relief. His symptoms included major anger outbursts on a daily basis, extremely low self esteem, constantly putting himself down, major defensiveness, we had to walk on eggshells with every word and action around him. He would also constantly give things to his friends, because he thought that was the only way they would like him. After a few months on the meds, he’s like a totally different person. He rarely gets angry, and when he does, it’s over very quickly, and he’s just so loving and caring and thoughtful and wonderful, and most importantly, happy. He’s still very sensitive, but it’s channeled in a more positive way. He’s still quite a people pleaser, but so am I, and so is his dad, and you can tell he does nice things for people because he wants to and not because he feels like he has to. More attention needs to be paid to RSD. Hopefully It’ll make its way into the DSM soon.

@paigemaystadt5497

3 жыл бұрын

You’re an amazing parent. I might see a psychiatrist and ask about concerta. Thanks for sharing

@katieandnick4113

3 жыл бұрын

Concerta is basically extended release Ritalin. It’s more for the physical hyperactivity than the symptoms related to RSD. It can actually make RSD symptoms worse on its own, as all stimulant medications can cause irritability and cause a comedown when they wear off. Ask your doctor about Intuniv(guanfacine is the generic). That’s the medicine that helps the most with the RSD symptoms. With our son, he gets concerta and intuniv in the morning, and then intuniv, Zoloft, and risperdone in the afternoon. The risperdone is given to counteract any comedown from the concerta. We are actually weaning him from the risperdone now because he has gained quite a bit of weight from it, and he’s very self conscious about it. He’s doing well with the weaning so far.

@michaelbrown1627

3 жыл бұрын

Would love to have read your post but I’m too adhd

@slimbruddah625

3 жыл бұрын

Holy drug salad.

@breesechick

3 жыл бұрын

@@slimbruddah625 😂 That's the new name I'll call my meds now, it sounds appropriate and I've never thought to phrase it that way 😂 I felt that 😔

You're describing my wife. It's very frustrating and taxes my patience. When I come across information such as yours, I can understand her better and how I should react. I'm more aware of her condition. Thank you

My entire life has been affected by RSD. I don't hang out with people due to fear that it won't be fun, I won't be entertaining, they won't want to hang out again. It's completely crippled my social life. I always thought minor things were jabs at me, especially from coworkers. They'd say something and I would immediately accept it as them attacking me. I've only recently discovered that I almost definitely have ADHD, but I never knew this was a part of it. Thank you for this video, this has been incredibly eye opening. Please keep informing people, it could change our lives.

I’ve never been told any of this and I was diagnosed when I was 6...

"Intense embarrassment" and then my sister's think I'm just being dramatic when I feel too offended even though deep inside I hated myself for feeling things like that.

For anyone curious of what an anecdotal example of RSD looks like: I started a new job as a baker in a coffee shop. My boss told me, “Hey, I need you to pick up the pace.” For the first time and I didn’t just feel sad or embarrassed. I felt genuinely devastated. I went from being perfectly fine, albeit a little slow at my current task to instant fight or flight mode thinking te immediate worst of OH GOD SHE’S GOING TO FIRE ME!!! How will I pay rent??? I can’t move back in with my abusive father, I’ll never leave if I get sucked back into that codependent relationship! Just stfu for a second! All she said is that you’re working a bit slow! Just pick up the pace a little. No, I can’t do that. I’ll be fired again just like last time. I don’t have enough hours in to get on disability. I’ll have to live on SSI. I can’t live on like 500$ a month in this economy when rent here is generally 1,500$, groceries are 500$, gas is 300$, and that’s not including any other bills or utilities. I’ll leave the country. Oh? With a work visa? You can’t work at a coffee shop in America, please tell me what country would be dumb enough to hire you for a real job? Omg stop thinking! Just make the goddamn donuts! Your job isn’t to ruminate on what a worthless failure you are and how you’re a major disappointment to your family! Your job is to put icing on donuts, now get to work you stupid bitch! Or else you really will get fired!

I am 59 and I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until about 30, when my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. I have been on different meds since then. I have also fought with addiction, depression and I have been in counseling for the last 20 years. I have tried to cope with the affects of ADHD but I never really could comprehend why I have felt rejection so severely. I have always been afraid to ask anyone else for even simple things for fear of being rejected or turned down. I have been a people pleaser to try and not get rejected. I am extremely hard on myself and have been verbally and physically self abusive. Thank You for this video because now I understand why I act and do certain things. I see a psychiatrist, but I am going to seek out a psychologist who specializes with these issues.

@SwuzyGaming

Жыл бұрын

Wow I couldn’t have said this better

RSD is tricky for me because I’m looking to suss out how to behave in a social settings. So when I get those comments, looks and dismissive reactions, I can feel devastated, as it’s only recently I’ve started to embrace my neuro-diversity. Navigating the world wondering what’s ‘wrong’ with me for so many years, makes those perceived rejections feel like a confirmation that I’m failing in social settings to get things right…

WOW I can’t believe how this has negatively impacted my quality of life

This explains quite a lot. People always tell me why do you take it so personal.

I can't even finish watching this video. I had stop midway to cry. This is so me every day of my life

Hearing about this for the first time, and it makes perfect sense to me. I have had so many arguments with people and ruminate constantly. I have a horrible habit of assuming the worst of people, and always get so angry about my perception of other people's inconsiderate actions. I also experience acute jealousy, especially when it comes to perceived threats to relationships.

@muslimahsharing4761

Жыл бұрын

Assuming the worst out of people is the most hard breaking part about being a parents to an adhd teen. My love, my worries, my effort, the time i spent worrying and try to tackle problems for him, meant nothing to him. I'm just a bad mom with ill intention, getting him away from having fun. My heart constantly breaks into pieces💔

@robster7012

6 ай бұрын

Can we be RSD without being ADHD?

Texting, taking comment the wrong way, relationships, intensified feelings, masking true emotions, people pleasing, being let down by people who don't care about you, feelings of guilt, doubt, avoidance of society, caring how im being perceived by others, mood swing

Firstly, thanks for your help . I have been diagnosed today actually at 45. And hands down the plus for us and these around us. It's mindblowing and superpowers at the same time.

Not being able to hold onto the feeling of self worth. Ever.

“ you think everyone is out to get you!” my family constantly

Asking a girl is near impossible for me. Wish it was simpler

@ADHDMastery

4 жыл бұрын

It takes serious balls!

@michaelbrown1627

3 жыл бұрын

Just ask and don’t think about it. You may be surprised.

@MrRand0mGamer

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah you just gotta kind of turn your brain off. Thanks fellas

This has really helped me make sense of something that happened with somebody I met today who has ADHD. I was so confused and left feeling very upset that I'd upset them, but this has helped me understand. Thank you for sharing it.

Not diagnosed. I ran away from school while they were testing me. I'm not joking. But as an adult I have had multiple diagnosis with Mental Health that have never fit. I have become extremely socially isolated to deliberately protect myself from this particular problem you describe. In fact, I believe this has been the underlying problem all along.

Yes! "You're too sensitive" I've heard that all my life. Maybe others I thought are too rude/blunt I think. Seeing a therapist helps to figure out what is realistic and what is my perception of what happened. As an older adult, I started seeing someone because of insecurity issues and realized as she read the adhd out of the DSM that I tick all the boxes. Thanks for sharing and giving us a great resource. FYI. I started taking cymbalta for chronic pain and a miracle happened: I stopped ruminating on trite issues and finally found some peace.

@stefaniamirri1112

3 жыл бұрын

Heidi Cain, Watch out.. Maybe those other have Narcissistic tendencies.. There is a relationship.. I noticed.. Between narcissistic environments and escape goats with adhd/add(and even the chronic pain you say, I am on too.. And that can lead in fybromialgia!! Are all RECURRING THINGS in ppl that I am noticing have all my own same simptoms) .. Research on the both sides, see the big pictures, link all.. You will understand.. Often the escape goat has traits that can be seen as Bipolar or Borderline Personality disorder.. But really the traits are in common, like overlapping so I think honestly can really be a connection.. Which means this all is much more spread than what is officially thought.. RSD, people pleasing,codependency, over sensitivity, rage burnst,..are all things very common in escape goats too..(so in the so called Narcissistic environment where the supplies victims experienced childhood neglect /emotional abuse and develops CPTSD from which chronic pain leading to fybromialgia) And if one just thinks of how the beast of narcissism twists the role of the main player in different relationships we can even see a common ground origin between narcissism and its supplies.. Once escape goat but on a different relationships to find balance the psyche twists us in a main narcissist!(the cycle can be stopped only when we become aware of the big picture!) It's all related, damnit complex and we DO/MUST have the bravery to face this and spread this awareness as much as possible to stop these psychological beasts destroying our lives.. This is my new purpose in life now, studying to bring these information to others.. Let's do inner work to know and heal and manage ourselves and help others.. There is so much to do!

Oh my gosh, watching this made me tear up!! 😭😭 So many years of living through this and never knowing what it was... thinking I was just being “over sensitive” or “dramatic”. Now with awareness can come the healing. 🙏🙏🙏

Thank you so much for this vid. Have experienced this my whole life and have lost so many meaningful relationships because I "let me emotions get the best of me". I feel emotions on steroids, which is what makes love so great and heartbreak so unbearable. It's so hard to live with ADHD and I just have always felt like something is wrong with me. Your video really resonated with me.

Dude I swear like every video you have is explaining what I’m experiencing.

For me I just straight up never believe anyone actually likes or loves me 😅 a big part of it is that I'm too scared of the rejection so i wont let myself believe they do in the first place. But really i simply cant fathom someone having the same feelings I have, for me.

@mwjc2

3 жыл бұрын

That is so sad. I feel you! And I wish I was certified to help you. Please don't give up, it's not easy, but with the RIGHT help, you can learn to live and love yourself, then others just naturally follow your self love and multiply it without you asking. It is mindblowing!

@tjones7915

2 жыл бұрын

This is why I've basically been single all my life

@danas5846

2 жыл бұрын

SAMEEE

Thank you for producing this video and helping so many people understand these often complex and hard-to-articulate symptoms of ADHD. It is scary how accurate much of what you detail in this video has applied to me throughout my life. It's with videos like these that we can begin to acknowledge the symptoms and move forward in a productive direction! Many thanks again and all the best!

I have lost or destroyed every relationship I have because of an overreacting behavior to any criticism. I have been called sensitive, a drama king, lazy and irresponsible. And all of this is constantly in my head paralyzing me from even wanting to participate in life

I'm literally crying with relief because i now understand why i feel so depressed over the smallest thing. Thank you ❤

It's amazing how accurate all of this is. I've never had heard of this condition and I always feared everyone felt the same but I was just too weak to cope with it. Now I don't feel as much blame. Thanks so much for all the content, I'm keeping an eye on everything.

I'm due to get myself tested in a few weeks, but have been researching ADHD for a few months now. I'm 32 and have always said that i naturally have a worst case scenario outlook on life. I am always expecting the worst case and therefore don't try because i expect to fail at all times.

@arielle222

3 жыл бұрын

I hope you got your diagnosis!

This is the best description of RSD I have seen. Thank you!

As a 20 year old college student, my mental health is trash. Just got on adderall which has been life saving. Anyway, my fear of rejection was so bad. It was controlling my brain from functioning. I thought I was crazy. When my therapist brought up RSD, I literally cried, cried like a baby. Knowing I actually have something, knowing I’m not crazy changed my life!

Many Symptoms so similar to the Backfires of a Borderline personality!

@mandarinablue8438

3 жыл бұрын

That's why at 17 I thought I had bpd. Nope now I know what's happening.

@mandarinablue8438

3 жыл бұрын

@@animalsandiphones yes, I know it's possible but I don't usually present the symptoms. I kinda self diagnosed which uh made it worse. I'll get a proper diagnose someday. I don't know how you deal with it but know you are strong.

I was diagnosed at a very young age with ADHD, my father has it as well it's very easy to spot. It seems to have intensely crept back into my life as an adult and because so little is told to us about ADHD I'm slowly finding out that soooooo many debilitating things I go through that made me feel like a failure I'm now learning are not completely my fault and are all symptoms. Now that I'm learning all of this, I have somewhere to start learning how to take back control. Thank you for your channel.

@mwjc2

3 жыл бұрын

Not your fault! You were born this way and were never told nor educated as to how to deal and live; me neither. Now at 47, I am starting my life all over again, AGAIN! So hopefully this is the last restart, I am tired. Not alone, not your fault. Own it, learn it, and learn from it. Then take it , and go crush the world; it is in you!

I have not been diagnosed with ADHD, but this video really hit home for me. I've always been told I hold myself at a very high standard that nobody could ever reach. I often don't do things because I feel that somebody is not going to like what I do. I guess that's part of that fear of rejection. This video has open my eyes and his giving me something else to look into.

When I was younger,this hit me very hard. It took a lot of time and self discovery to reach a middle ground... I still have those thoughts(of course)but I now have the tools to counteract them. I highly recommend people with ADHD to visit a ADHD experienced therapist even if you think you're fine. We've had this our entire lives and likely don't realize just how much isn't "normal"that we go through every day.

I feel like you took what is constantly in my head and made an explanation video out of it. Well, done.

Omg this explains a lot. I’ve been a doormat and intensely anxious about negative judgement from childhood. When a teacher yelled at the class, even when I didn’t do the thing she was yelling about, I’d be the one ducking into the hallway to cry.

@HebrewJerusalemBoy

Жыл бұрын

Wow same here

It's 30 minutes to midnight. I'm listening to you spell out my life better than any other video on here. I'm wrecked.

I thought this was normal and it has kept me from sleeping most nights when I’m not tired enough to fall asleep immediately...so it has a name, thanks for letting me know about this and I’m suspecting I may have ADHD too so am gonna watch the other videos.

I really enjoyed this video and how eloquently you explained RSD. I'm going to show it to my son who has ADHD and is struggling with RSD.

This makes so much sense! Always thought i was bullied, but I came to understand that it was just teasing and rsd. Sometimes i just tell myself that i wasn't really bullied, i was just a wuss, who couldn't regulate my hurt feelings or brush it off.

That first example that you gave, about ruminating or thinking about something over and over again that happens to me all of the time. There are nights where I don’t sleep for one minute when I am very anxious or really upset or stressed about something. Thank you for your posts

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I’m 52. Life has been a struggle especially in relation to emotional regulation. What your show does is help a everybody out there get an idea of where to get help and useful tips. It is really helpful and I just wanted to say thanks and keep up the good work.

@rhondaharms9079

Жыл бұрын

I'm 51, and thinking I need to get tested. I keep telling myself that maybe it's just too late in life and I just need to deal with it. I'm glad to see someone else just getting diagnosed.

damn dude, i am subbing this channel. you lay it out very simple. nice work

More I watch your videos, ADHD seems to align with my life all the more. You seem like reading the script of my life 😭

My last relationship ended 8 years ago and at times it still feels like it was yesterday when she left. I have memories flashing through my mind every day and I have for so many years that I notice myself blocking the thoughts out. I dissociate on and off. I was finally diagnosed with ADHD last year and I started therapy as well... I never made the connection before, but it makes so much sense. I'm really glad people like you are helping spread the word, friend. It's good to have communities like this, I appreciate you all.

@dameaustel

2 жыл бұрын

What sort of therapy is it? I need to find the right sort. Thanks

I have recently been learning so much about ADHD or ADD. and everything I find I relate to and now this video comes up and I'm like damn. it really makes me sad because I think I have been misdiagnosed all these years with depression anxiety which is only half my problem I firmly believe I have had ADD or ADHD since I was a child and it was never diagnosed. I have self-medicating and I have noticed that stimulants have always been something that made me feel better than other things. And what do they prescribe for ADD or ADHD stimulants. everything is so clear now I've got to get into a doctor and have a discussion.

@The_Kirk_Lazarus

3 жыл бұрын

Well, it's just ADHD now, with either inattentive or hyperactive or mixed-type. It no longer has the ADD terminology.

again this sums up one of the things that I have struggled with continuously throughout my life. I feel as though i have been hit in the gut with the realization others know exactly how I feel and manage it and can live. sometimes combinations of symptoms really feel debilitating. I hope seeing the psychiatrist can give me a little more clarity on what I can do.

Thank you so much for the content, Well cited and spoken, as well as eye opening.

When you were describing these symptoms it was almost like you were describing me and what I've been going through the past few years. Its somewhat comforting to know that others have faced these same challenges.

I had no idea that my ADD played such a huge role in my emotional regulation. I have been living EXACTLY like the way he described. I have always taken everything so personally, and so when someone said one little thing that I didn’t like, I thought that person hated me. One personal story that I have is from when I met this girl a few months ago. I tried to guard my heart, but I fell so hard for her so fast. I just couldn’t control how I felt about her. We were just getting started with our relationship when she quickly rejected me and thought I was clingy. This hurt me a lot, because I had really tried to contain my emotions more, but she still thought I was crazy. In the end, all those bottled up emotions burst out of me. The night she rejected me, I sat alone in the car, slamming the steering wheel, screaming “FUCKIN’ BULLSHIT!!” It was nuts. I went from being the happiest man on earth to being so incredibly hurt. That was the worst rejection I ever had. I still think about her all the time. I really hope that understanding my ADD better will help me with dating. My dating failures are horrendous, utterly disastrous and laughably pathetic. I try to learn and get better every time but talking to girls isn’t my problem, it’s my ADD. Thanks man. This channel has already helped me understand myself more. I’m not crazy, I just wish people would understand. Sometimes I feel like ADD is a curse I swear.