Yup. If you have to ask at all, then the answer is: nothing. You're nothing to him. I learned the hard way that if a man wants you in his life, you'll never have to question what your place is in his. Please listen ladies and save yourself the headache and heartache!❤️🙏🏿

@shandradowe4113

Жыл бұрын

This happened to me to.. guess what I walked away quick fast an hurry..when dude asked for money is what did it for me..

@doll.ov.poetrii4682

Жыл бұрын

​@@shandradowe4113 I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm happy that you found the strength to walk away. I wish you luck on your journey!❤️🙏🏿

@eve3363

Жыл бұрын

"you'll never have to question what your place is in his life". Life and relationships don't even work like that. You can never be certain of anything.

I love your commentary. As a black woman who found herself in this scenario in the past, it is so refreshing to hear a man tell the sisters THE TRUTH!!!

I agree fully my man made us official after 1 month of dating. When a man wants you he won’t leave you in limbo, when a man is ready to settle down he will.

When you have to ask, you already know.

I really enjoyed this video. He is not lying. A man will string you along if you let him. Walk away from that man that won't commit and you will find one that will. Wasted time is worse than wasted money.

@Michtopretty

8 ай бұрын

💯

Been in this situation for 11 years. I def feel like a place holder now after finding out he’s been speaking to his ex 😞

@eve3363

Жыл бұрын

I am sorry to hear that. The best thing to do is to making actions with the information you have. Never be stagnant in life.

@kaoshi_kutie

8 ай бұрын

You deserve better! Please walk away before anymore investment takes place . I know it’s easier said than done but it will be worth it ❤

@u.802

7 ай бұрын

so sorry this happened to you , hope you left him and you are doing okay now . 💗

I was in a similar situation but instead of asking what are we..I said its clear we are not together since you have not made it clear we are. The end

You're daughter is blessed to have such a sensible dad. Keep up the good work young King!

How about this ladies just live your life, be happy, be your self, exude love… if you are meant to be in a relationship than you will if not then it wasn’t meant to be and that’s ok 😌 trust me it’s okay to be single y’all 💕

@lob1248

Жыл бұрын

It’s okay to be single until is not. Please don’t reinforce that “Yass queen” mentality. Being single is okay for a while, until you get older and start looking around and see that you need a partner to complement your existence.

@FormalKombat

Жыл бұрын

Lol oh you gotta gift huh 😭 naw fr the gift of singleness is in the Bible, not everyone got it. Most people act like mostly every other creature when they are in heat, a girl cat gon MEOOOW, a male cat gon spray, AINT no way around it EXCEPT getting NUTURED/ SPAYED. For mankind, it’s the same thing but it has to happen in spirit through Jesus Christ… otherwise

@kissesbabylove

Жыл бұрын

​@@lob1248I agree don't no body wanna be single. Over the INDEPENDENT DONT NEED A MAN, mentality. I want a husband ans build my family.

@sakuraesther6309

Жыл бұрын

@@kissesbabylove Literally no one here was outting you down for wanting a husband and family .Some women dont and there is no reason to go sfter them if they respect yall. This comment didnt even bash men or marriage minded people .BFR

@ForbsieLaLa

Жыл бұрын

@@lob1248 A partner to complement your existence? This here is why many people end up how they end up. Our purpose is greater than finding someone to complement us. Not everyone's work under God involves a partner. Yes we would love to have someone but sometimes our peace of mind and sanity does not require that

To be totally honest I believe both sides need to stop focusing on relationships all together until they get the necessary healing and Godly understanding in that area. The problem is I don't believe most of them will or is willing to do the necessary work it takes. Then you have those in denial and you can't help someone who don't believe they have a problem. The black community has so much potential to be great but may never be and most of us need to do the work in order to accomplish that. You can only save who really want to be saved, the rest will fall to the way side and you can only stand back and watch.

@soiledskin

Жыл бұрын

💯

Brother I am so afraid to get in a relationship that I’ve honestly given up. It is better to be alone nowadays. If I find someone praise God, but It is honestly hard to obtain that in this lifetime.

When a man is ready to commit, he's either blind, crippled or crazy . Most likely all 3. Just kidding...but not really. Love this channel!

@eac-guy7272

11 ай бұрын

Facts. Most of the younger men who approached only wanted hook ups while the older men were on the bad end of chronic disease with cataracts, amputations, in a wheelchair or their adult children don't have time for them

@GHO5tMod3

9 ай бұрын

@@eac-guy7272it’s because looks override everything it’s sad

Yep! Timing is (almost) everything ! When people are ready, they suddenly take the necessary steps to make things work/happen

So if you been with him a year and he hasn’t asked you to Marry him . He doesn’t want to Marry you. Got it

@TheShumakeWay

Жыл бұрын

Lol no!! You shouldn’t be wondering about what his intentions are by then.

@prettyloubey8411

Жыл бұрын

@@TheShumakeWay ohhh okay I had it a little wrong, thank you so much for your wisdom, we truly appreciate you.

@prettyloubey8411

Жыл бұрын

@@TheShumakeWay 😆

@TheShumakeWay

Жыл бұрын

@@prettyloubey8411 my pleasure. Thanks for your support

@prettyloubey8411

Жыл бұрын

@@TheShumakeWay you’re very welcome!!!!✨

This is great advice and I'm BLESSED that I'm in a place in life where I don't have to ask that question❤ There is NOBODY I need to ask that question 💃🏽

Great lesson! If you have to ask "what are we" that says it all right there. I remember my old boss and her ex-boyfriend bought a home together and last I heard they broke up and it was a huge mess in regards to the house.

@eve3363

Жыл бұрын

Ah, man. Super sad situation. But that is why you should not buy anything major together until you get married. Shoot, it can be something small and people still go crazy. You have people suing exes over a $300 TV 🤣

It’s important for you to tell us the truth , so we can act accordingly

Very true. In all my experiences, men will let it be known (usually within the first month or two) if he wants to be exclusive. The ones that make you feel confused and have not actually told you what his intentions are, are the ones hoping you won’t mention it and “go with the flow”…by flowing right into their bed. Lock your kitty up and don’t assume he wants a committed relationship.

You are helping alot of people with your words of wisdom, keep up the great work.❤❤❤

You speak TRUTH! Please continue on your path! God bless you and your family!

Nope. Ask them. If women are nothing to a guy shouldn’t a woman know that? Sounds to me like a question guys don’t want to be asked bcuz they can’t answer it without negativity. So, they rather a woman assume than know for sure. That way, they can get theirs and let her figure it out herself. Ladies, don’t make it easy for guys to touch you or get any personal help from you.

@TheShumakeWay

Жыл бұрын

If you have to ask you already got your answer.

@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy

Жыл бұрын

@@TheShumakeWay Nope. Ask. If he can’t answer it, that’s another red flag for a woman to notice. A woman shouldn’t do anything to make it easy for a guy to get something from her.

@TheShumakeWay

Жыл бұрын

@@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy The red flag is the fact that you’re questioning if he sees anything with you. A man that wants you will make it known. You won’t have to ask.

@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy

Жыл бұрын

@@TheShumakeWay I’m sick of guys trying to act like they helping women, and really helping messed up guys who are not ready to be with a woman. Telling women what not to do to them. When they don’t even count. “If you have to ask” - what the hell is that? Brainwashing and nothing more. Killing two birds with one stone. Don’t ask, which is helping the guys get laid, and if you have to ask you already got your answer. Which is brainwashing women to not ask questions. Not one of you guys ever tell guys what not to do to a woman. Which is yet another red flag.

@UniquelyVickie

Жыл бұрын

​@@HappyBeeTV-BeeHappy if you have to ask, he's only going to tell you what you want to hear to keep you around. Men are leaders and intentional. They don't want to be led and they don't want to be prompted. They let you know their intentions through actions. If he hasn't said and shown then there's your answer.

He’s right, it doesn’t take 5 years to know if you want to be with someone or not.

I think matching energy and not pouring into someone else's cup more than yours will be a good way for most women to protect themselves from the bs. Self love and self worth is the one!!

This GREAT ADVICE LADIES! Yes this is the game! Thank you!!

Agreed 👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿

Amen 🙏 I love this ❤️ 😀

No lies told!

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Truth spoken.

I love your truth Young King!!💚💚💚

I will not. Please do not waste my time.

The title is so spot on

Verbal communication is important.. Non-vebral communication is 🗝️.. I agree with your post..📬💒💍💐

@eve3363

Жыл бұрын

You need both. Two sides of the same coin.

he speak true facts 🙏

You right. Keep talking.

WOW, this website isn't letting me LIKE this video

Very true.

No lie detected Shumake!!

I feel you should ask simply because men would string you alone. People go as far as living together having kids and then say I gotta get out of this. Two people talking getting to know each other The real problem is unemotional energy “I’m okay with a piece of your love or I’m only giving you a piece of my love

@Jazzy869

Жыл бұрын

You won’t have to ask a man that’s serious about you

@danielle1959

Жыл бұрын

@@Jazzy869 that’s true but real men that going around opening up on first second or third dAtes anymore unless there’s certain women they will open up too. But he will be persistent and keep coming around. Good men can have a lot of good women in his life and still don’t feel complete with any of them. I have high value cousin and he’s a 🕵️‍♀️ very tall and handsome and he have high value women but never married anyone. And it shouldn’t be easy for him because why are these women wasting their time when he won’t commit. 80 percent of African Americans are born out of wedlock. I’m done with games it’s a shame you can’t be vulnerable with a man you’re attractive to

@selfdiscoverysupport

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Ask without pressure or expectations. Where do you see this going? I see you as this, how do you see me? Etc. That gives you info, empowerment etc. I've known too many friends and family that didn't ask and that was used to string them along and play games cause the behavior was suggesting committed but the guys didn't say it so it gave them an easy out or long waste of time. Ask and commumicate then gauge what your move is after. I would say 3 -6 months depending on the person and situation I a good time to have the conversation.

@danielle1959

Жыл бұрын

@@selfdiscoverysupport 3 to 6 perfect he still hanging around! For what! Because he do send mixed signals

@shaudemarie8844

Жыл бұрын

If you have to ask then he’s not planning on doing anything serious with you. And if it gets to the point where you do ask 9 times out of 10 hes going to lie and tell you you’re more to him than you actually are because he likes the perks you give. You’ll play yourself by going there.

His videos are good tools for teaching females ❤👌🏽👍🏾👏🏽

This felt like you were talking directly to me..😢

Evcery woman i ever had a relationship with she asked this question. In 46 years thats how all my relationship go

Right.

AGREE AGREE AGREE !!!!!!!!!

No intermission.

I had to learn the hard way and I ask him that same question. Heartache at the end!! Ladies do not waste your time with a guy if you have to ask him what are we.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of Women that have “Place Holders”

Totally accurate, my boyfriend made me his girlfriend the second date and started talking bout marrige from the 3rd date.

I believe it's all about booty calls more than relationships just to smash.

Best way to have a good relationship is just to have it. If things in the relationship are progressing and everything is going smoothly I’d advise women not to pressure a man into marrying them especially if he isn’t ready. I know videos like this and what’s perpetuated on social media is that if a man isn’t ready to commit it’s because he’s playing games but a lot of times some guys just aren’t ready. Most men are not ready for marriage especially if he isn’t comfortable in his financial situation, career, where he is at in his life etc. If a woman decides to move on as a result of that I think that’s fine but you could be missing out on a good man simply because you want the title. Any man that is eager to get married when he doesn’t have his life together isn’t going to make a good husband anyway so I think it’s best to have some patience especially again if the relationship is going good.

@lelo46

Жыл бұрын

I get your point but if a man feels this way, I think it’s extremely important to stress this, before the relationship begins. To live in “what if” provides no “stability” or “security” what’s so ever. You wouldn’t keep putting all of your money in a bank that you weren’t sure if they’d let you withdrawal or let alone, use the funds. Right? I think it’s the same concept. It’s important that if you’re out here dating, without an intention to marry (at least not until you’re ready -whatever that looks like for you) that you EXPRESS THAT. If I’m looking for marriage, and you’re just trying to “see where things go” we are now unaligned. That will inevitably cause friction, insecurity, and confusion. This is why these videos exist. If you are “not ready” it’s important to only date other women who “aren’t ready” or aren’t intentionally dating for commitment (more than a title). That way you both are aligned and don’t mind (seeing where things are going). But to intentionally date a woman who’s expressed that she desires marriage, but you KNOW you don’t want it or aren’t ready for it… at least in a reasonable time (every woman is different) then you’re doing it wrong.

@rummanamoledina4973

Жыл бұрын

It all depends on whether the female wants marriage and family ... if she doesnt then cool

What if he's the one that asks?

I have a friend who has been with her now fiancé for over 20 years. When they first got together neither wanted to get married and they had kids from previous marriages/relationships. She was pressuring him to get married before her father died but that didn’t happen. Now they have a house together and actually got engaged a few years ago after her father had already passed. They were supposed to get married this year at a destination wedding but I doubt it will happen because I haven’t heard of any planning. I feel like why bother at this point.

@shandradowe4113

Жыл бұрын

Looks like they wasting each other time..that's crazy mess

@lucreshiawalker5601

Жыл бұрын

I don't get that, 20 years together and no marriage.

Or, the woman might have another guy and wants to decide who to cut off so she needs to ask that question.

@doll.ov.poetrii4682

Жыл бұрын

She still shouldn't have to ask that question in that situation. If she has proper discernment, it wouldn't be that hard for her to figure out which man is the best selection.

Please do let me force you. And be happy when we are together.. if you are sad, go away.

Spitting to many facts, but i do want to be married.

Not jump up and down on

If a female wants marriage think before getting into relationships in which there is no guarantee ... if they want to try their luck then they need to be prepared to lose ... then dont cry about time wasted.

Yep yep yep wanted to be the cool girlfriend the idc everythings fine chick...everything is not fine 🙃

You ask when you invested a lot, and he invested nothing, you're chasing. When you're laid back, you don't want to rush, you just go on dates, they ask you to be their gfs after 2 dates. Stop giving up the cookie.

30 yrs with my man, we have a beautiful grown daughter, our own home, and most important (GREAT COMUNICATION). I believe 100% we are still together because we are not married. 😂 In saying that if marriage was important to either of us we would do it for eachother. But thankfully we are like minded. So many friends and family said that we wouldn't last 3 months together and they are the very same people that were married and now DIVORCED. I don't need a ring and a piece of paper. A ring changes nothing. Actions speak louder than words.

@rellfacts279

Жыл бұрын

This society’s version of marriage is not the one God intended. Marriage is supposed to be spiritual union, not contract stipulated, an over the top ceremony etc. and I agree it’s probably why you and your husband have been together longer than most.

@smores8982

Жыл бұрын

Happy for you but your case is definitely an exception not the rule. This video doesn’t apply to you then, it applies to the general masses