A hostage negotiator on how to resolve conflict | Karleen Savage | TEDxValparaisoUniversity

Staying curious is often the most difficult thing for people to do when they’re in a conflict. Instead, they get tied up in their own side of things. Karleen Savage is a certified hostage and crisis negotiator with years of experience in business and domestic mediation. She’s also an expert on conflict resolution, with a master’s degree in the subject.
Karleen has made it her life’s work to help others resolve their conflicts peacefully and amicably. She has come up with the Savage Theory of Resolution®, a five-skill model that can be used to resolve any conflict. Formerly an adjunct professor, Karleen has negotiated to open up mediation for counties impacting hundreds of thousands of people into the future. She also started a mediation internship program with a local university. She currently offers various online courses on conflict communications through her site: KarleenSavage.com.
A mom to seven children and married more than three decades, Karleen knows a little about resolving conflicts! With her vast experience and knowledge in the field, she is dedicated to helping others learn how to confidently resolve disagreements. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 247

  • @iwanttolearnjapanese
    @iwanttolearnjapanese2 ай бұрын

    Curiosity is not only a great bridge to empathy but the cure for boredom. It is impossible to be bored when you are curious. And there are infinite things to be curious about.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    2 ай бұрын

    Love this. Thank you for watching.

  • @therealphoebuscommunication
    @therealphoebuscommunication4 ай бұрын

    The fact that she's used these techniques in her personal journey adds a level of authenticity that I really appreciate.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    4 ай бұрын

    It's been a truly unusual journey, and I think you can feel that.

  • @Kevin-jc1fx
    @Kevin-jc1fx Жыл бұрын

    This is what a TEDx Talk is supposed to be like. No propaganda, no indoctrination attempt. Just clear and useful ideas that provide a possible solution to real life challenges. This is a true idea worth sharing. Thanks very much.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Such a kind statement.

  • @wakeUPdummies

    @wakeUPdummies

    5 ай бұрын

    Propaganda and ideology exist in any and all education. Just saying.

  • @avradio0b

    @avradio0b

    5 ай бұрын

    So backhanded XD

  • @piratemummy7930

    @piratemummy7930

    21 күн бұрын

    What a useless, back-handed comment.

  • @iambruteforce
    @iambruteforce11 ай бұрын

    I never realized how conflict resolution skills can be applied to everyday relationships. It's true, the highest stakes are often in our daily interactions. Curiosity seems like a powerful tool to navigate those situations.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    You get me! The highest stakes that most of us will deal with is within our family, extended family, good friendships, interactions on behalf of those people and ourself. So glad you came by.

  • @aname5102
    @aname5102 Жыл бұрын

    She seems like such a genuine woman. I wish her and her family well.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Ahhh, you are kind. And, I'll take those well-wishes for my family; thank you.

  • @charliebrownabel
    @charliebrownabel7 ай бұрын

    This really opened my eyes to the importance of resolving everyday conflicts instead of letting them just simmer on the backburner..

  • @booba00garde91
    @booba00garde914 ай бұрын

    Her transformation from chaos to clarity is inspiring. It makes me believe that change is possible, even in the toughest situations.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    4 ай бұрын

    Ahhhh, sooo possible. So possible.

  • @booba00garde91

    @booba00garde91

    4 ай бұрын

    yes it is @@KarleenSavageOfficial

  • @verymarysalisbury
    @verymarysalisbury10 ай бұрын

    I never thought about how curiosity plays a role in conflict resolution. It makes so much sense to be open-minded and genuinely interested in understanding the other person's perspective

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    So good to read this. I think that's our real world problem - we don't practice curiosity in conflict - but you found it. Makes me happy.

  • @Tell-Us-Now
    @Tell-Us-Now7 ай бұрын

    This is such good advice. So many people see arguments as something to be "won" regardless of the impact it has on the relationship.

  • @emma.st.charles
    @emma.st.charles7 ай бұрын

    This is one heck of an example about transferable skills

  • @lefthandcharlie
    @lefthandcharlie10 ай бұрын

    The three questions Karleen shared are a great way to assess our own level of curiosity in conflict. Allowing others to have their own story, listening without backlash, and incorporating their story into the solution can lead to powerful outcomes

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    There are many kinds of curiosity, and I have made these mistakes too many times. Thanks for listening and I hope you find others to share it with.

  • @Psymphonicmonk
    @Psymphonicmonk Жыл бұрын

    Such a pleasure to listen to - genuine empathy and a great story without any agenda, politics posturing or arrogance. Thank you! TED please pay attention

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    😮 This is such a kind, kind comment! Thank you so much!

  • @msbethiebeth
    @msbethiebeth11 ай бұрын

    Overview/Takeaways: 5 SKILLS TO RESOLVE CONFLICT - Curiosity (Unites the rest of the 5 skills) - Their Attitude - Master Listening - Connection - Reframing Curiosity uses plain language with simple intent--"What do you want and how would you like to get there?" If you want to elevate your relationship, get curious. It's for you and them. INTERNAL QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO INVITE VIA CONFLICTS: 1. Did you allow them to have their own story independent of you own? 2. Were you willing to hear their story without the emotional or verbal backlash? 3. Did you allow their story to become a part of the solution? EXTERNAL QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER FOR THEM: Ask questions before people feel hopeless; No prompt from you (No responsive words, actions, and/or sounds). Let them have their story. Hear it without backlash. Take a breath. Then ask questions without prompted responses. (e.g. What would it take to make things right?)

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    🤩 All I can is Wow!! I love that you invested in sharing this! Amazing! Thanks for being part of this @msbethiebeth

  • @msbethiebeth

    @msbethiebeth

    11 ай бұрын

    @@KarleenSavageOfficial great TedTalk!!🙌🏾

  • @littleblossomtoday
    @littleblossomtoday6 ай бұрын

    Definitely agree about curiosity and communication making all the difference

  • @suonituo
    @suonituo10 ай бұрын

    Karleen's resilience is amazing and an example of what we can do when faced with adversity.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. Very kind.

  • @jazminmotherofdragons4593
    @jazminmotherofdragons4593 Жыл бұрын

    This came at a time I needed to hear it the most. Not to give up. And I won’t!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    You are so strong to claim this! Do it!

  • @TrashSmile
    @TrashSmile Жыл бұрын

    Well said, this is what many people need to learn to deal with conflicts, including myself.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    I'm glad it meant something to you CityHunger999. It's been Huge for me.

  • @sineadcrawley7754
    @sineadcrawley77548 ай бұрын

    Pierced my heart when she said..."what do you want and how would you like to get there" Boom.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    8 ай бұрын

    Such respect for that feeling. I hear it, feel it and have been submerged in it. Thank you.

  • @willieajenge5910
    @willieajenge59103 ай бұрын

    I wish I can just hug her! She a great woman.💪❤️

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    3 ай бұрын

    Oh my gooooosh; how incredibly kind and generous. I'll take that cyber-hug! Thank you!

  • @taliksharot
    @taliksharot10 ай бұрын

    Karleen's story of overcoming challenges in her own marriage through curiosity is so inspiring!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much. Definitely not easy, but it's pretty powerful to lift us both when we're in a conflict.

  • @thomashurbert
    @thomashurbert11 ай бұрын

    Using Karleen's five step resolution process is a win win for everyone which is the outcome you want.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think the win/win takes shape in the process and it can end up being something different than we think. Appreciate your comment.

  • @CyberFlossLord
    @CyberFlossLord5 ай бұрын

    This story resonates, I know all too well about how conflicts often hide beneath the surface of our daily lives

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    3 ай бұрын

    Ooo, yes, it hides, cheats us out of our best relationships too. I can feel this. Thank you for sharing.

  • @askcesar
    @askcesar Жыл бұрын

    You absolutely crushed this talk, Karleen. I love everything about it. ❤

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Oh my gosh, this is a very special moment for us!!

  • @TheRandomnessalways

    @TheRandomnessalways

    11 ай бұрын

    @@KarleenSavageOfficialHow awesome Karleen! God is so good. Last time you hosted a live on My Homeschool Village, you had mentioned you were fighting to get them to release your talk. God is so good! You helped me so much during a dark time in my life when my best friend died. Thank you so much Karleen.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    @@TheRandomnessalways Oh my gosh TheRandomnessalways, you warm my heart!!! You are strong and capable! Hugs,

  • @antlew8077
    @antlew8077 Жыл бұрын

    This subject needs to be taught in schools in

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    I want to help wherever I can, but more important, thank you for being one of the first to listen.

  • @chezravvy
    @chezravvy5 ай бұрын

    Simplifying conflict resolution into five skills is brilliant. It's about time we focus on tangible tools instead of vague theories.

  • @rustyacton
    @rustyacton10 ай бұрын

    Curiosity is a powerful tool in conflict resolution. It allows us to break down barriers and truly listen to the other person's perspective. When we approach conflicts with genuine curiosity, we open the door to resolution and growth

  • @abbeylordes7918
    @abbeylordes79188 ай бұрын

    Wow, as a fellow conflict resolver, this talk feels like a nod of recognition. It's like peeking behind the curtain of everyday battles and realizing the power of curiosity in bringing resolution. Time to sharpen those questions!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    8 ай бұрын

    Ooooo, a fellow!? This is so good! I'm glad to know you join the circle!

  • @danabailey3887
    @danabailey388710 ай бұрын

    I appreciate how Karleen highlights the importance of curiosity in conflict resolution. It's about genuinely wanting to know and understand the other person's story and that mindset shift can lead to more productive and harmonious relationships.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    It CAN lead to more productive and harmonious relationships!! Yay to us to use it, right!?

  • @merlemackenzie
    @merlemackenzie5 ай бұрын

    Conflict is intense, all this shows the emotional toll it can take. Will try to remember the curiosity thing because I'm always willing to try a new approach.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    4 ай бұрын

    You're willing to try!! Good for you!!

  • @chilled2dmax
    @chilled2dmax Жыл бұрын

    Her story brought me teary eye. To be that compassionate not to make the conflict about what you want. Takes a level of empathy and understanding that I am working on. Thanks for this message

  • @wheelerwheeler7586

    @wheelerwheeler7586

    Жыл бұрын

    ❤a

  • @wheelerwheeler7586

    @wheelerwheeler7586

    Жыл бұрын

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Aren't you so kind; thank you. Keep working on it Kay!

  • @chloeanne4473
    @chloeanne4473 Жыл бұрын

    This is really helpful but only if you care about saving the relationship with the other person, sometimes they royaly mess you up where it’s not worth it to resolve

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    You said it, Chloe, "...only if you care about saving the relationship..."! I needed to save myself, but I didn't know it at the time. I think I needed, I know I needed the curiosity more than anyone else. So glad for your comment.

  • @vladkarchenko
    @vladkarchenko10 ай бұрын

    I love her message that conflict resolution is not just about high-stakes situations but also about everyday relationships. Curiosity is the key to building stronger connections and finding resolutions that benefit everyone involved

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    These comments are just so kind. The work is real, but these comments are just so kind. Thank you.

  • @salmacaribbean7362
    @salmacaribbean736210 ай бұрын

    Amazingly and heartfelt explained. Thank you

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    My heart is totally in the work. It's made epic shifts for me. Thank you so much!

  • @natashaislier
    @natashaislier7 ай бұрын

    Karleen's talk touched my heart. It's a reminder that relationships can face immense challenges. Her advice on being intentional and curious is something we all should consider.

  • @GenXersJustWalkItOff
    @GenXersJustWalkItOff2 ай бұрын

    This is transformational... thank you!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    2 ай бұрын

    Thank you, thank you, thank you

  • @theolsons2265
    @theolsons22656 ай бұрын

    The questions posed by the speaker are worth their weight in Gold! Fantastic speaker.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    6 ай бұрын

    Sweeeet!! Thank you!

  • @riverjaspartile
    @riverjaspartile9 ай бұрын

    As someone who's always wondered about the dynamics behind conflicts, this talk is a treasure trove of insights. The idea of using curiosity as a solution is piquing my interest-time to explore this new avenue!

  • @axelrespert3498
    @axelrespert34984 ай бұрын

    I'm not entirely convinced about the universal applicability of curiosity, but I'm willing to give it a shot and see how it plays out.

  • @nohadiesl
    @nohadiesl6 ай бұрын

    Your story touched my heart. It's amazing how empathy can transform a relationship.

  • @chewysbacka
    @chewysbacka11 ай бұрын

    I wish I had heard this information when I was ten it would have changed my life, thanks Karleen.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    Oh WOW! Thank you, and like you, I wish I knew this when I was 10 too! We can change how we view our past using this as well. It's helped me a whole lot!

  • @pat-j-d
    @pat-j-d4 ай бұрын

    The struggles of marriage and family dynamics hit close to home. Your approach seems practical, and I appreciate the realness.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    4 ай бұрын

    Thank you, thank you so much.

  • @eddieakpabio
    @eddieakpabio6 ай бұрын

    Loving the idea of personal growth through conflict resolution. It makes a lot of sense that it would help you figure some stuff out about yourself

  • @rheeslewis
    @rheeslewis8 ай бұрын

    Wow the whole curiosity thin is pretty interesting! I can see how it would benefit all conflicts, from everyday bickering to the more serious stuff.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    8 ай бұрын

    Thanks, and that is why I gave this talk. I gave it because it's how the professionals use curiosity in their field so why not in our everyday lives?

  • @lynnecousins
    @lynnecousins11 ай бұрын

    I love the idea of being intentional about learning where the other person is coming from in a conflict. It's a shift from focusing solely on our own position. Curiosity opens the door to understanding and resolution!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Hi there Lynnecousins! Thanks for stopping by and commenting; it means something to me; thank you. This was a huge shift for me too. I remember when I realized how embedded people were in their points of view, including myself, ugh, it hit me like a truckload of bricks being dumbed out on my head! Horrible and epic at the same time.

  • @JillianRigertDMDMD
    @JillianRigertDMDMD11 ай бұрын

    Incredible talk, Karleen! Thanks for sharing your message and personal journey. Your delivery was powerful.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Oh wow, thank you Jillian. Thank you.

  • @sonyarosario7730
    @sonyarosario773011 ай бұрын

    Wow, I am so very impressed with my good friend, Karlene. Great topic and conversation, thank you for that! Sonya

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Hi Sonya! Thank you for taking the moment to visit! It means a lot!

  • @ethanblack6413
    @ethanblack64138 ай бұрын

    Such a great talk Karleen, it makes a lot of sense why all of these things would work. Hoping I remember them in the heat of the moment!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    8 ай бұрын

    Just remember to ask questions in the heat of the moment. Be willing to fumble and you'll do great. Thanks for sharing your comment.

  • @imgoingplacestoday
    @imgoingplacestoday7 ай бұрын

    Another powerful talk filled with useful information that just makes sense.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    7 ай бұрын

    Love that comment, "...that just makes sense." Love it.

  • @sepchaster
    @sepchaster7 ай бұрын

    This is great, I feel genuinely motivated to be more curious in my relationships.

  • @joo-jali
    @joo-jali9 ай бұрын

    'Them and you'-a simple yet profound approach to understanding the other side. The call for curiosity-based resolutions is something the world needs more of! Good on you Karleen for spreading a message like this.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    Wow, a simple and profound message. I hear you, and thank you.

  • @xoxo_sushi
    @xoxo_sushi8 ай бұрын

    Karleen's talk made me reflect on my own journey. I normally try to avoid conflict but I think reframing it as curiosity could improve my relationships significantly. Thank you Karleen!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    8 ай бұрын

    Love this! Thank you!

  • @TheyCallMeYellowGello
    @TheyCallMeYellowGello8 ай бұрын

    This talk is awesome - so many great practical tips for navigating conflict, thanks Karleen.

  • @IAmScoobeyDamIt
    @IAmScoobeyDamIt6 ай бұрын

    I really appreciate having conflict resolution broken down into practical skills like this! I hope I don't need them too often haha but I'm excited to try out the three questions in my next argument.

  • @guntherhofer
    @guntherhofer9 ай бұрын

    As someone who often navigates interpersonal challenges, this talk is a goldmine. The three questions for curiosity assessment are like a reality check for my conflict resolution skills. Time to rev up the curiosity engine and make some positive changes!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    It's been a Huge reality check for me too. Thanks so much for listening.

  • @felicityhalette
    @felicityhalette9 ай бұрын

    I particularly enjoyed the focus on everyday conflicts in this talk... The idea of using curiosity as a resolution tool is intriguing, and the three curiosity questions are like a litmus test for conflict-solving abilities.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    Great, great comment. Appreciate your vision and comment.

  • @lisa-lio
    @lisa-lio9 ай бұрын

    I'm intrigued by the way this talk brings 'everyday' high-stakes conflicts into focus. Curiosity emerges as the hero in a world full of relationship villains, fancy that!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    Bringing the topic into focus was exactly my goal when I stressed to much about sharing it. Thank you for seeing the message.

  • @omarputal
    @omarputal6 ай бұрын

    Sharing this, I have family who needs to watch it

  • @oscarkluk
    @oscarkluk11 ай бұрын

    Karleen's personal experience with conflict and her commitment to learning and applying conflict resolution skills is inspiring. It shows that with curiosity and a willingness to understand, we can transform even the most challenging situations.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    I can feel this comment because I lived this comment, and by you writing this, it's like you know I did. Thank you.

  • @alexleister
    @alexleister9 ай бұрын

    This talk is like a crash course in saving relationships from the edge. The five skills presented are like a 'relationship toolkit' that anyone should have. It's time to swap 'die-hard' mentalities for curiosity-led resolutions!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    The beauty is everyone has this ability!! It's incredible what happens when it's used.

  • @iamdadubdab
    @iamdadubdab5 ай бұрын

    This was pretty eye-opening as I've never thought about conflict resolution in this way. The personal stories add so much depth to the advice as well.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    4 ай бұрын

    You know, @iamdadubdab, it's taken me decades to be willing to tell this story. Thanks for noticing.

  • @janetslicer3637
    @janetslicer363711 ай бұрын

    Well worth listening to, no matter how great you think your communicating skills are. I am glad I listened.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Wow, your comment means a lot Janet; thank you for listening.

  • @izayahmayson
    @izayahmayson9 ай бұрын

    I couldn't help but chuckle at the Die Hard reference, but this talk drives home an essential point: conflicts lurk in our daily lives. The five skills introduced sound like the ingredients for a real-life superhero. Can't wait to try out curiosity in my next 'high-stakes' conversation!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    Gosh, yes, conflicts Do lurk in our daily lives. On another thought, makes me wonder what that superhero would look like. So fun to think about. Thanks for spending time here.

  • @1edty
    @1edty9 ай бұрын

    So many awesome points to think about in this one!

  • @Bostonceltics1369
    @Bostonceltics1369 Жыл бұрын

    Im excited to try being more curious in this way, thank you.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Oh my gosh, yes, be more curious in this way.... feel free to come back and share your amazing win (do it for 15-minutes). Wishing you success.

  • @baileyteranirt9528
    @baileyteranirt95287 ай бұрын

    I appreciated this talk because it made me curious about the conflict I have with my mother and how I can use that [curiosity] to find a solution.

  • @bryanestelle
    @bryanestelle6 ай бұрын

    i like the asking questions stuff, that makes sense.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    6 ай бұрын

    Powerful questions can come through the tone of asking too. You get it!

  • @Angela.Empressive
    @Angela.Empressive Жыл бұрын

    Powerful advice ❤

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for listening Angela; thank you.

  • @GingerTeaAddict
    @GingerTeaAddict9 ай бұрын

    I thought my conflict resolution skills were only needed for deciding where to eat with friends. Turns out, curiosity is the new action hero in my quest for drama-free dinners and movie nights!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    The 2nd "action hero" mention. I'm thinking a kids anime? Anyway, here's to hoping your next dinner is drama-free 🙂

  • @kristinabuscema9369
    @kristinabuscema9369 Жыл бұрын

    Very inspiring!! Thank you so much for sharing!!❤

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    You are so welcome Kristina. Thank you for listening.

  • @kristinabuscema9369

    @kristinabuscema9369

    11 ай бұрын

    @@KarleenSavageOfficial 💜💚 my pleasure 🤗

  • @amandalouks8170
    @amandalouks817010 ай бұрын

    Incredible! So accurate!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    WOW! Thank you!!

  • @AFitTraveler
    @AFitTraveler6 ай бұрын

    This was actually very good to hear... well done.

  • @Bee-Trek
    @Bee-Trek5 ай бұрын

    Her emphasis on personal growth through conflict resolution makes me think about how I've handled disagreements in my own life...

  • @lazerkittythetrue
    @lazerkittythetrue8 ай бұрын

    I really enjoyed the points she made around the 6 minute mark, about if you let the other person have a story/allow their story to become part of the solution.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    7 ай бұрын

    It's so hard to let someone's story become part of the solution - when they're clearly wrong, right? Sometimes, we miss that little nugget. Thanks for the reminder.

  • @jrambo7495
    @jrambo7495 Жыл бұрын

    Love me some Bruce Willis!!❤️❤️ LEGENDARY!!!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    😅😅😅 to your Bruce comment!! Such a good actor!

  • @marioborg4952
    @marioborg4952 Жыл бұрын

    Wow!! Thank you!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you to you too!!

  • @funnytv-1631
    @funnytv-1631 Жыл бұрын

    When you feel exhaustion setting in, it is time to withdraw and restore yourself. If you feel demoralized, it is best to pause and recenter instead of acting from a place of depletion. If you can find time to unplug, do it. Reconnect with yourself in a big way if you can. And if you can’t, you can still recenter through tiny steps. Reclaim your first mountain here in Fabulous by committing to hydration, rest, nutrition, and movement, even in the tiniest amounts. Keep at it, and a natural rebalancing will begin.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    As I write and think of you Laika, it's 11pm and I'm thinking "rest" in the back of my mind. But your comment, so good. Thank you for listening to my talk.

  • @funnytv-1631

    @funnytv-1631

    Жыл бұрын

    @@KarleenSavageOfficial welcome

  • @laviniasnow4494
    @laviniasnow449411 ай бұрын

    Such insightful information. Much appreciated! 🙂

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    I appreciate you seeing/hearing something in it. I appreciate you watching!

  • @aerosiskell
    @aerosiskell7 ай бұрын

    Yeah absolutely, curiosity is important for so many facets of a relationship, makes sense conflict would be one of them

  • @swilson543
    @swilson543 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    You are so welcome; I'm glad you were here too.

  • @piperdee8965
    @piperdee896510 ай бұрын

    It certainly makes a difference when you come to the table amicably with a positive intention. All to often that's not the case.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    10 ай бұрын

    Isn't that a wonderful and hopeful idea! I love it! I wish that would be my story as well, but until then, this helped me understand much more than what was on the surface. Thank you for sharing your comment.

  • @traviswadezinn
    @traviswadezinn Жыл бұрын

    Very useful and insightful - thank you

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Absolutely, glad to have shared with you! Thank you for listening Travis!

  • @bukurie6861
    @bukurie6861 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you!You are talking so stirring and story that are every day about us!❤Congratulation😍🌏

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    I feel this; thank you for being here and watching!

  • @TheSpacePineapple
    @TheSpacePineapple6 ай бұрын

    She raises some really interesting points, wish she had elaborated on some of them a bit more though!

  • @konglum
    @konglum6 ай бұрын

    Take home message for me " What would it take to make things right? Short, sweet and powerful.

  • @fear_less_2020
    @fear_less_20205 ай бұрын

    I promise to be a genuine listener and be genuinely curious about my future husband's situation and perspective whenever a conflict happens. I am a solution-orientated person and I was always interested in this topic- how conflicts between people or entities (spouses, siblings, parents, two corporations, two nations fighting, etc.) are resolved. Thanks for sharing your own story, and your genuine love for your husband that you developed over time by being genuinely curious about his perspective of things. I am sure he must have reciprocated the same because good communication goes both ways. Thanks for giving us this golden gift of good communication and granular steps of solving a conflict. This lesson has been etched permanently in my heart now. I pray to God that I meet my loving husband soon, I promise to cherish him for my life. Sending you my utmost regards from Seattle, Washington 🇺🇲 and Jaipur, India.🇮🇳

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    4 ай бұрын

    Oh wow, thank you. Your heartfelt post... wow.

  • @julestempest
    @julestempest10 ай бұрын

    Karleen's emphasis on curiosity in conflict resolution is a game-changer. Instead of digging into our own positions, we should strive to understand the other person's perspective. It's a powerful way to foster connection and resolve conflicts.

  • @TheRandomnessalways
    @TheRandomnessalways11 ай бұрын

    Yay Karleen! This is awesome. We miss your live videos on MyHomeschoolVillage!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Aren't you sweet! Thank you; I hope you were able to watch :-)

  • @Rin-ig3ci
    @Rin-ig3ci Жыл бұрын

    ... I forgot... what it feels like for someone to say to me "what do you want?", even if worded differently, I can't remember the last time someone even bothered to ask me that. Let alone how I want to get it. ...just hearing her say it made me fall to pieces..... I've had countless fights with my own family for all kinds of reasons, it eventually got to the point that each time I tried to put in the effort to get closer to them they were determined to push me further away, it didn't matter how much I swallowed my own voice so I could try to understand them because they just didn't seem to care about anything more than using and abusing me. I was ready to disown my family 7 years ago, and each month that has gone by since then has only made that feeling even stronger. I've never had someone tell me that I'm a bad person, but it really makes me wonder sometimes where the monster is coming from, if not from me, and not from my family, then where? So, while I absolutely support this video and everything she said, I also must say that it greatly moved me, but I believe that a resolution of conflict must require at least some amount of effort on both sides. When one person just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing while also admitting they have no clear reason to stand behind what they are pushing, you can certainly ask questions, listen to them, and try to understand them but they will never be satisfied, even if they get what they asked for. As much as I believe in harmony, cooperation, and understanding; that does not mean the other person does or is even willing to listen or that their idea of resolution is safe or fair. And I say that even if they get what they wanted they may still not be satisfied, because what they say they want is not always what they really want or choose to act towards. What they want may actually be exactly the opposite of what they ask for. But I can't speak for everyone, just from my own experience, I suppose not everyone is as bad as the people I have come to know. In fact, more often than not, instead of facing the need for a resolution for anything, I have known people who actually choose to run away more than they ever try to push back. The second I start speaking plainly, frankly, and such they try to change the subject, run off, or starting getting emotional about it before we can even discuss anything. All I do is ask about something or bring up something and everything just seems to go haywire. I don't know if I appear cold or if it's something else, but it certainly makes it difficult to resolve anything if the other person never wants to stick around and even mention the subject. Whether their scared of me or I'm doing something wrong, I can't figure it out when the only people I have conflicts with are either drama queens or the queen of heart's. 🤷‍♂️ .....I love win-win stuff, i get the greatest joy out of solving problems and taking on the challenges that come with them and I'll even go extremely out of my way to turn it into a win-win-win-win-win situation, but not everyone wants that apparently 🤨🤔🤷‍♂️ When a person wants a resolution, they don't actually want a literal "resolution", they just want to get exactly what they want, when they want to get it, exactly as they want to get it and any resistance at all to that is unforgiveable even after they get what they want. Then, even if they do get what they want, it probably won't be the end of it, they'll keep asking for more, and each time you give into that you are consenting to their control over you. That's abuse and manipulation. Which is why I say that true conflict resolution requires BOTH parties to be willing to achieve a true resolution, not a dictatorship.

  • @Nyc99

    @Nyc99

    Жыл бұрын

    I agree, she was on surface with emapths if you get conflict , since empaths would care about ea feelings, try that with narc, Lord yiu can work on it to resolve for 20 y minimum

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Isn't it interesting how we can hear something and it feels almost like a spike driving a message through!? You deserve to be asked, even if it begins with you doing the asking, Rin. Do you know what you want?

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    11 ай бұрын

    Hi, You've added more detail, and it seems as problems get bigger the original target of conflict becomes invisible. I have so many thoughts, but if I could encourage anything, go to someone and just ask questions. No facial expressions, no comments, just ask. Try it on someone that generates less tension just to see how you feel asking questions, coming up with them and how the other person responds. My heart is in it with you.

  • @DollThrone
    @DollThrone6 ай бұрын

    Haha, your joke about "Die Hard" scenarios made me chuckle! But seriously, I'm keen to see how I can apply these skills to everyday disagreements.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    6 ай бұрын

    For me, I had to get out of my own way to make it work in my own disagreements. I had to do that before the skills would work. Thanks for noticing the joke too!

  • @MotifMusicStudios
    @MotifMusicStudios Жыл бұрын

    Great topic and super interesting, valuable listen.

  • @MotifMusicStudios

    @MotifMusicStudios

    Жыл бұрын

    LOVE that you highlight the necessity of learning these skills for the every day ordinary with high stakes of their own.

  • @MotifMusicStudios

    @MotifMusicStudios

    Жыл бұрын

    Also, sending compassion for the pain you've navigated.

  • @MotifMusicStudios

    @MotifMusicStudios

    Жыл бұрын

    "Will you allow their story to become part of the solution." - absolutely powerful.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for listening, and opening your heart for the messages you can share too.

  • @Slow-steady
    @Slow-steady Жыл бұрын

    I like , if you want to elevate your relationship get curious about what others see and feel!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here too. It means something.

  • @JudesViews
    @JudesViews Жыл бұрын

    Beautiful and intelligent, bless her 🥰

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

  • @ihavedeepfeelings
    @ihavedeepfeelings6 ай бұрын

    Our everyday relationships can all benefit from resolving the differences that keep us at odds with each other.

  • @billiejeanbrasier
    @billiejeanbrasier6 ай бұрын

    I found this so interesting! Not sure I could keep my tone neutral and sounding genuinely curious when my emotions are running high though...

  • @luisbrezer
    @luisbrezer9 ай бұрын

    This is such an interesting talk and I'm curious to see how these skills can transform everyday disagreements into opportunities for growth and understanding.

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    9 ай бұрын

    All I can say to answer your thoughts is, try it. Pretty profound.

  • @PentHub11
    @PentHub11 Жыл бұрын

    Super amazing ❤️✨️

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    🥰

  • @PentHub11

    @PentHub11

    Жыл бұрын

    @@KarleenSavageOfficial Thanks

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    @@PentHub11 It's something special when someone takes time to lift another. Thank you again.

  • @lishyajennifer
    @lishyajennifer Жыл бұрын

    Wow❤ I want to know more

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    If you want the breakthrough, do the 15-minute exercise and keep the guidelines!! You'll learn a lot!!

  • @superinnovated
    @superinnovated Жыл бұрын

    Her heart is all upfront an real people like her created earth angle

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    Жыл бұрын

    Jose, you are generous. Thank you for watching my talk.

  • @emmastandish
    @emmastandish8 ай бұрын

    As I'm pondering this talk, I can't help but wonder if curiosity is the missing link in my conflict-solving toolkit. Could simply asking questions really be the key to resolving disagreements? I'm intrigued to find out!

  • @KarleenSavageOfficial

    @KarleenSavageOfficial

    7 ай бұрын

    Oooo, let me know how it goes! I think you're going to create a GREAT toolkit

  • @0sapnachouhan0
    @0sapnachouhan05 ай бұрын

    The story about her husbands brain injury hits kinda close to home. It's really difficult when your dynamic with someone changes

Келесі