"Up to 32 deaths per year" really caught me off guard. hippos kill 300 per year and you're telling me dinosaurs killed 1/10 of that?!

@holidaytheraptor6567

Жыл бұрын

checks out tbh. dinosaurs are probably too stressed to adapt to focus on killing people. Also, we dont exactly taste good.

@Ridcally

Жыл бұрын

I guess we're not far from hippos taking over

@grzegorzswist

Жыл бұрын

Maybe they meant per movie?

@dawid3517

Жыл бұрын

Hippos are overall some of the deadliest animals on the planet and there's probably more of them than the Dinosaurs in the Jurassic world I'd compare Dinosaurs to something like tigers that aren't that numerous and probably behave more similarly to a T-Rex Tigers kill less than 10 people a year and even when they were much more common the yearly death count was around 50

@hendrong

Жыл бұрын

What's wrong with that number? There are like, what, a thousand dinosaurs in the world, many of them completely harmless. There are well over a hundred thousand hippos in the world.

I like how the clone lived isolated with two american parents for years and somehow has a thicker english accent

@AC-hj9tv

Жыл бұрын

"Oi bruv yew got any tea guvna"

@hendrong

Жыл бұрын

IKR, she should have a French accent, since they filled the gaps with frog DNA.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

I feel bad for the actress tho, Isabella Sermon. She did her best in spite of the horrible material (or lack thereof) she had. I hope she gets more roles in better films

@dr.calibrations7984

10 ай бұрын

BLIMEY!!

@chasehedges6775

10 ай бұрын

@@dr.calibrations7984 💯

That clip of Homelander watching on with complete disdain as Chris Pratt on a horse chases down a dinosaur with a rope was absolutely perfect🤣

@Spinosaurus44

Жыл бұрын

Time stamp please 😂

@rustyshackleford5288

Жыл бұрын

5:24

@ZeusTheMatti

Жыл бұрын

Well that was how i watch the whole movie rly... and like he said in the video. That fight sceen in the end almost gave me AIDS

@anubusx

9 ай бұрын

Where is that shitting scene from.

@eh2396

7 ай бұрын

Lol yeah he was all of us in that movie theater.

Genuinely, one of the most depressing finales to a franchise ever. Not depressing like Logan, where the narrative earned its gut-punching moments, but depressing in the sense that this was meant to be a big grand finale, yet it felt like every single opportunity was wasted in favour of pointless and misguided adventure that lead no where by the end. Also great video btw

@coffeebean_tamer

Жыл бұрын

It systematically managed to out stupid itself with each installment.... 😂😂😂 Only way this could've ended properly is humanity being wiped by a asteroid, poetic justice!

@animezilla4486

Жыл бұрын

I enjoyed it

@benjamindouglas3286

Жыл бұрын

The movie to me felt like it was missing character buildment and it just was a cash grab of a movie

@taterboob

Жыл бұрын

I had to nope out at Fallen Kingdom, because it was so bad. I can't even imagine how bad this one is. I even own it, and I can't even bring myself to waste the time watching it.

@user-oi1iq6tt4j

11 ай бұрын

Star wars sequels ?

Fun fact: Scooter guy was a real life dude who won a contest in 2020 that guaranteed they would get eaten by a dino

@jedibrooks7235

6 ай бұрын

Holy shit that would explain everything lol.

The most disappointing part was that the girl was told that her genetics could help cure MILLIONS of their diseases around the world, and she was just like, "Nope, cya!" Not even a pause. Not even a consideration if he was telling the truth. Not even a consideration of why she was so wanted.

@neo-filthyfrank1347

Жыл бұрын

"OMG dood not even an ethical consideration?? Omg ethics!!!! OMG I watch movies so I can circlejerk about my conventional morality!!!"

@TiagrajI

Жыл бұрын

It was so dumb. They get dinos from genetic tinkering and the one answer is that odd girl??? That's lazy writing

@thebookless3381

Жыл бұрын

​@@neo-filthyfrank1347 being a contrarian isnt a personality, grow a pair kid

@neo-filthyfrank1347

Жыл бұрын

@@thebookless3381 Your pseudo-maturity is just your attempt to rationalize your massive mental dependence on others. Either way you don't even understand what's going on in the conversation.

@thebookless3381

Жыл бұрын

@@neo-filthyfrank1347 no it's an attempt at tilting you, well not an attempt, since it worked...

I actually liked that they made the Therizinosaurus, the one you called deer slapper, aggressive. Media likes to portray herbivores as docile and not dangerous when that's far from the truth. Herbivores can be just as aggressive and dangerous as carnivores. In fact, many of the most dangerous animals on the planet are large herbivores. In addition, the Therizinosaurus was confirmed to be blind so it being aggressive is logical. Since it can't see or differentiate potential threats, it just attacks anything that gets near it. Essentially it's in, "I don't care what you are, I'm not taking any chances." mode.

@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120

Жыл бұрын

Preach!

@emie1170

Жыл бұрын

right, let’s praise accuracy in nature while there’s skin-wrapped, pronated wristed lizards running around in the most blatant and insulting way to any dedicated researcher, completely indoctrinating society so that everyone believes dinosaurs were actually this way! but no this therizinosaur is mildly accurate because good guys can actually be scary LOL go watch prehistoric planet please.

@LeoTheYuty

Жыл бұрын

I like how they made the only aggressive herbivore look exactly like the carnivores, to the point where someone not paying attention would think it's only eating the remains of the deer. It's not like therizinosaurus wasn't unique, they just decided to remove most of its feathers and unique appearance to make it look more like a theropod, because only animals that look dangerous can be dangerous apparently.

@blobbertmcblob4888

Жыл бұрын

Then they proceeded to ruin an interesting concept by making the damn thing be where they needed it, when they needed it. It was a plot device WHY WAS IT JUST STANDING IN THE MIDST OF TWO APEX PREDATORS!? Being aggressive does not mean going out and looking for fights or having no predator/prey fears.

@krislee3155

Жыл бұрын

@Leo the Yuty I do like the design. It's inaccurate as heck, but it looks cool. I kind of accepted that Jurassic Park and Hollywood, in general, are never going to portray dinosaurs as anything but scaly monsters. I mean, heck, the Pyroraptor has feathers and wings, yet it still has the inaccurate raptor design and size. That's why I'm happy for documentaries like Prehistoric Planet to try and bring a counter balance.

It's a sad day when a shavng cream can getting buried in the mud ellicits more of an emotional response than any characters in this film.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯💯

Just to note: The dinosaurs not shaking the ground and making loud noises when they appeared is frankly more realistic. At that size you can't afford your prey knowing you're right behind it before it even sees you. In real life, Tyrannosaurus rex and other large predators probably had fatty padding on their feet to deaden their footsteps. It is inconsistent with the actual franchise though, and they never cared for paleontological accuracy to begin with lol.

@christinalock27

Жыл бұрын

It's an alternate universe where the ground moves easier xD I use multiverse theory to explain any movie with slightly exaggerated aspects or unrealistic moments. Doesn't work if the movie breaks its own rules like JW they should either never do it or always do it IMO

@MrVidman14

Жыл бұрын

Sure it’s more realistic But this is a movie.

@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120

Жыл бұрын

Did you guys not read the last sentence?

@MrVidman14

Жыл бұрын

@@salmonmolotovstrikesagain9120 i did not and I’m sorry

@taterboob

Жыл бұрын

You've got fatty padding on your feet.

Lost World is my guilty pleasure. Love it.

@c.moriarty1178

Жыл бұрын

The Lost World is Schindler's List compared to this big pile of shit

@hanburgundy4317

Жыл бұрын

Don't feel guilty - it's still an A movie; just not the A+ that the original gets.

@jacobowens2603

Жыл бұрын

Definitely agree. Not as good as the first but still a fun watch.

@basedmathh

Жыл бұрын

Yeah to even pretend that it was bad like the last two is absurd. The very last one is untouched in how terrible it is.

@yourdad5799

Жыл бұрын

At least you feel guilt

My biggest criticism is that everything in the Jurassic World Dominion was set up just so the legacy characters and the new characters could have a big meet up, in one of the most unlikely, convoluted ways imaginable. The most unbelievable part of it for me, is why Ellie & Alan(both old by this point) would want to sneak into a secure facility on the otherside of the world and obtain evidence, as if they're agents of espionage and not middle-aged paleo-scientists from rural America. I get that they might have legitimate concerns for the state of the world, but does anyone truly believe that Ellie Sattler & Alan Grant would resort to becoming spies as well as intentionally put themselves in grave danger??? They were both negatively-affected mentally(for several years, mind you) by their experience on Isla Nublar, why would Ellie & Alan decide to become thrillseeking whistleblowers all of a sudden? It felt ridiculously out of character and like something written for different characters from some other film. The whole "swarm of giant locusts" thing really irked me too because that is not at all something that has ever been seen in or associated with Jurassic Park. I was actually confused when I saw the farm scene because I honestly thought some M. Night Shaymalan film got switched on by mistake. Jurassic World Dominion was frankly, a weird & disappointing conclusion to the series.

@dreymak4071

7 ай бұрын

call me crazy, but after all they've been through, wouldn't Alan and Ian despise with a burning passion Owen, Clair, and Mazie for their direct involvement with unleashing dinosaurs onto the world...? I'd imagine through their eyes the trio looks like the true villains...

@Maartwo

25 күн бұрын

Because quirky jokes must be written!!

The Lost World gets way too much hate imo. The greedy new management aspect fits as a contrast to the story in the first one. Sure, the gymnastic kick is a bit silly, and bringing a t-rex to the city is questionable. But unlike the rest of the franchise, it treats the original characters with respect, the dinosaurs are still intimidating, and it's (at least for me) as entertaining as the first one.

@daustin8888

Жыл бұрын

Well said

@RaefonB

Жыл бұрын

Agreed. (Personally, I find the overly-choreographed fall in The Lost World for how Sarah Harding gets from the scrapping raptors to running for the helicopter way sillier than the gymnastics kick. The implausibility of that moment pulls me out of the movie, whereas the gymnastics kick, my brain can let it go.)

@basedmathh

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree with you, I will die on the hill that the lost world was a good film!

@alanmathias6706

11 ай бұрын

same for jurassic park 3 this movie is a masterpiece compared to this trilogy

@dr.calibrations7984

10 ай бұрын

​@alanmathias6706 JP 3 is bad, but JP 3 knew what it was and why we were there and didn't pretend not to. We wanted to see dinosaurs chase and eat people, and so it delivered. Very little downtime in between chases

Seeing as humans seem to be very underdeveloped in the weaponry department, the plan to weaponize dinosaurs suddenly makes much more sense.

@notMattGarska

8 ай бұрын

The knowledge of gun triggers was lost to time. Everybody owns a gun, if only they could remember how it works

@spleenrippasgubbinz2178

8 ай бұрын

@@notMattGarska The last gunslinger died in Fallen Kingdom after taking down Blue in a single shot. Which makes the idiot quartet with the atrociraptors scene even worse since we know a single 9mm is enough to disable them.

@peterstoric6560

8 ай бұрын

They actually made a deal with the devil that increased the number of dinosaurs but took away most of their intelligence. It will all become clear in “Jurassic World: Revelations”

@LordTheCyril

8 ай бұрын

Already prebooked a ticket when I heard that they are introducing the Velocipastor in that movie.@@peterstoric6560

@dreymak4071

7 ай бұрын

Weaponizing the Indoraptor the way they tried to was beyond stupid, put a laser pointer on a gun and hit a button, the intoraptor goes ballistic trying to kill it, you know what else they could've done? shoot the target, IT, IS, A, GUN!! It would take less time, and resources, be quieter, and less difficult and less messy to just put a round or two into the target instead... it's sooooooo dumb... I mean does ANYONE actually think a T Rex would stand any chance against a modern tank?? Rexy in the first jurassic park struggled to get through the chasis of a unarmored car.... for christ sake...

Its ironic that at one point Jurassic park uses some of the most up to date knowledge on prehistoric life at the time and now it peddles the very myths it once sought to disprove

@Silverwolf1700

8 ай бұрын

I’m pretty sure it was not up to date knowledge, nor never was it meant to be

@miguelpedraentomology6080

8 ай бұрын

​@@Silverwolf1700while it wasnt up there, it at least tried to follow a more accurate narative in various way, something the following movies did not, specialy jurassic world and onwards.

I don't know which is most forgetable about the movie; the so-called villain or the plot.

@MrVidman14

Жыл бұрын

Fun fact, the Villain was the guy who gave Nedry the shaving cream can

@redskull378

8 ай бұрын

​​@@MrVidman14Now only if they wrote him as a good villian like his novel counterpart.

@mjl11

8 ай бұрын

Wait, there was a villain😂?

@dreymak4071

7 ай бұрын

@@mjl11 honestly, don't blame you, lol

@Jim90117

3 ай бұрын

Genuine point, I actually cant remember much of this movie and I can't recall any lines of dialogue.

Truly one of the dinosaur movies of all time.

@ZeusTheMatti

Жыл бұрын

Sad thing is that MANY people think that....

@dreymak4071

7 ай бұрын

@@ZeusTheMatti I mean, I'd assume people would unanimously think it's "one of the dinosaur movies of all time." Did you actually read what the OP said, or did you just skim it and assume they said it was any good?

14:30 Small Error. That dude won a contest to get to be in the movie and killed by a dino. Hes also the only civilian killed in Fk or Dominion. Colin Trevorrow made the brain dead decision that only "bad guys" where allowed to die in these films now.

@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778

Жыл бұрын

And that’s probably because people complained about unnecessary civilian deaths in Jurassic world I guess.

@damonlongstreet8630

Жыл бұрын

@@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778 1.when only sensitive/not fans complain instantly they shouldn't be taken seriously. 2. They where no civilian deaths besides Zara. 3. That take would mean only 2 people would have died in the original Trilogy.

@sithsaiyan4529

Жыл бұрын

That’s not an error on Jedi’s part, they could have written it better.

@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778

27 күн бұрын

@@damonlongstreet8630 I am not defending it. I am just explaining why they may have done this braindead decision. I think zaras actress's asked to be eaten by the mosasaur.

@barozukos7791

22 күн бұрын

​​@@damonlongstreet8630 there is no way at least two dozen people didn't get mauled just by the Pterosaurs, not to mention any stragglers left behind like those dimwits from camp cretaceous

Fun fact- the Evil Rich Guy from this movie, and the guy who gives Nedry the shaving cream can, are the SAME GUY. Lou Dodgson. Really puts a new perspective on the line: "Dodgson, Dodgson! We've got Dodgson here! .....see, nobody cares."

@jedibrooks7235

Жыл бұрын

Oh my god!

@RaefonB

Жыл бұрын

@@jedibrooks7235 😄 (Less fun fact - they couldn't use the same actor for Dodgson because Cameron Thor is in prison for doing some gross stuff with a 13-year-old. Might be why it didn't occur to you, as the two Dodgsons look so different.)

@RaefonB

Жыл бұрын

Do we know, are they treating the TellTale Jurassic Park game as canon, and does that tie into how Dodgson got hold of the Barbasol can again? Or is it supposed to be a totally different can from the one in the first movie?

@EngineeringFan1776

Жыл бұрын

@@RaefonB Considering the character designs from the game are different from the films, I assume not.

@RaefonB

Жыл бұрын

@@EngineeringFan1776 We never see Dodgson in the game, to my recall, but Miles Chadwick is working for him, right? And they're on a mission to retrieve the Barbasol can...

My favorite part was when star lord said “it’s Jurassin time” and proceeded to jurass on everyone

@oceanbacon3535

8 ай бұрын

I’m gonna beat Jurass for that

@joshuajefferson3504

Күн бұрын

​@@oceanbacon3535😂😂😂

"But think of the merch we can sell!" is, I believe, the only reason that any of the sequels exist. And they got crummier and crummier. The clone girl releasing them was so infuriating!

@jedibrooks7235

11 ай бұрын

"Because they are clones... Like me " then proceeds to bitch about being a clone in very next movie. fuck that kid lol

The pack of dimetrodons in the amber mine made me so mad because things with a sail on their back like theirs would not be living in caves and mine shafts. They did the dimetrodon so dirty.

@claudia-uy5gk

28 күн бұрын

Rip spino

@jurassicarkjordanisgreat1778

27 күн бұрын

@@claudia-uy5gk Spino was supposed to show up in the movie. Infact it was supposed to be in all of the jurassic world movies but got cut each time. we were robbed of a tyrannosaurus and spinosaurus team up!

The biggest problem with this movie is there's no conflict between the old and new cast. One want them dead the other want to keep them alive why would they get along?

@matteomastrodomenico1231

6 ай бұрын

...but they don't?

I will say, in defense of Jurassic world (pretty much the only defense I have for it), no one knew the indominus rex could camouflage itself. Doesn't explain why they didn't have a tracking station IN the enclosure control room though; no defense there...

@dreymak4071

7 ай бұрын

It's worse than that, consider the fact that Claire decided the best time to confirm that the indominus was still in there was way after she got in a car and drove away, when she could've done it there and then before anyone had even moved.. The fact it can camouflage itself shouldn't even be a factor. HISHE did a scene on this, it was actually kinda funny. I proposed that claire was an idiot and directly caused the indominus to escape for this very reason and someone suggested that there wasn't very good cell service due to the scene after when she's trying to warn them, I argued that that is even more incompetent of them if that is indeed the case that they'd construct the habitat for one of if not THE most dangerous dinosaur in the park outside of cell range, tf are these people thinking??! Answer, they weren't..

21:51 Funniest part is that the “rich asshole” villain that you said is less memorable than a can of whipped cream is actually a red shirt guy on the left that Nedry talked to. To top that, that scene was about how Nedry told everyone the guy’s name and then said something like “Dodgson, Dodgson, we've got Dodgson here! See? Nobody cares.”

@kayskaht2052

Ай бұрын

That is way too good! 😂

I thought the worst scene in the Jurassic franchise was when Starlord miraculously wakes up from a tranquilizer just in time to get out of the way of lava. And then avoids a stampede, falling volcanic rock and lava, jumps 100s of feet of a cliff. Avoids the dinosaurs rocks and lava and then rescues Claire. And somehow this entire film is worse.

@jedibrooks7235

Жыл бұрын

lmao

@cryptodino3roberts712

Жыл бұрын

@@jedibrooks7235 i hate you

@chatteyj

12 күн бұрын

Come on thats like one of the best of JW franchise, not seen dominion, but lava scene was at least slightly nerve racking and a little comical and the running down a hill from the volcano with dinos was quite an original and iconic action sequence

@GrantGraff

11 күн бұрын

I know the lava scene was inaccurate, but so is everything else in the Jurassic Franchise. At least Fallen Kingdom makes up for it with an engaging story and that heart wrenching Brachiosaurus death.

I will never forgive the writers for what they did to Alan Grant. Grant was always my favorite character of the Jurassic Park films and whatever they turned him into for JW Dominion was not Alan Grant.

@aaronflowers8881

Ай бұрын

In your opinion, what changed about him?

"Show dont tell" is a great comment. I, myself, failed at that at the age of 8 when I saw Return of the Jedi. As a kid, it never occurred to me that fatherly love could save the hero. To me a villain is a villain is a villain. BUT....i mulled that over for DECADES, and as i got OLDER (father age), I came to appreciate that ROTJ SHOWed, not TOLD, me the motive. Makes it stand the test of time as a well-told story.

@amrabilalovic9651

2 ай бұрын

One of the best comments I've ever read on KZread.

@slchance8839

Ай бұрын

@@amrabilalovic9651 What a great thing to say! That made my day. Thank you!

I like how the clumsy tech guy who disappeared halfway through Jurassic World 2: Jurassic Worldier is now this super cool and on the ball guy now

That clip of Kermit the frog on the typewriter was hilarious. When you spoke of how bad the writing was I got a real kick out of that.

Hey a correction, the guy on the scooter @14:23 was a guy that won a fan competition to be in the film. Unfortunately covid travel restrictions prevented him from coming to the actual set so they just had him do something really generic on film, then green-screened him in. If covid restrictions were not in place he would have been flown out and filmed on set with better equipment. They didn't want to dishonor the agreement by excluding him so they did the best they could under the circumstances. While the movie was total garbage this one scene I think has a good excuse for being how it is.

@RaefonB

Жыл бұрын

I knew he was a guy who won a competition to be in the film, but not the part about Covid and the green screen! Cheers for sharing this info, that bit makes more sense now.

@damonlongstreet8630

Жыл бұрын

Damnit I Commented that

@yawningcow8942

Жыл бұрын

That's not even the best they could. He just appears out of nowhere and gets eaten.

@caesarlaw212

Жыл бұрын

F the wuflu I would’ve have said fly me anyways and test me

@MrMapacheumr

8 ай бұрын

Could've been worse and been eaten by the credits

18:28 Book John Hammond definitely made Jurassic Park for the money with little regard for the safety of workers and guests. That’s why Michael Crichton gave him such a grizzly death. My head cannon is that Steven Spielberg and the film crew thought in casting Richard Attenborough the character would work best as a kind, wise, grandfather figure.

The original Jurassic Park was my favourite childhood movie. This video essay is by far the best account of why the franchise is failing and you delivered with precision humour. Great work!

“A complete confirmation that logic will not be part of this story.” Why does this sound like every time I get into a relationship

The angsty, i-got-it-all-figured-out, irritating teenager trope should be abolished.

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯💯💯💯💯

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

That trope is tiring

@JesterEx

4 ай бұрын

It's like people who write these movies haven't ever met a teenager before.

I love how Wu was turned from a moustache twirling villain into an emo for no reason xD

@TheReZisTLust

Жыл бұрын

*From a ✨nobody worker✨ to moustache growing and twirling villian into Emo*

@patrickkelmer6290

Жыл бұрын

@@TheReZisTLust Exactly.

@cryptodino3roberts712

Жыл бұрын

He was neither. Shut the fucj K up

Jurassic Park (1993) will always be the best of the franchise

@chasehedges6775

Жыл бұрын

💯💯💯💯💯

@gojigiante

11 ай бұрын

Nah, JW was def better.

@shivamjha5578

7 ай бұрын

​@@gojigiantelmao , what are u on ? JP > by a mile

@gojigiante

7 ай бұрын

@@shivamjha5578 JW was better.

@shivamjha5578

7 ай бұрын

@@gojigiante Lmao , have u even watched JP ? Jp beats Jw in all criterias

I guarantee most of the kids including me was skipping the entire lunch moral discussion scene in the first film because it is boring, but now i realized just how lovely crafted that scene in explaining the entire plot of a movie. Now I like replaying that scene because it is not only explains the plot, but also explains and setting the characters and the dialogue is also good.

The critical drinker sent me here and I’m so glad he did. Great video. Hilarious. Liked and subscribed.

@luskete

Жыл бұрын

Same!

@WarwickNielsen

Жыл бұрын

Same

@ImmortalTreknique

Жыл бұрын

Same👊

@zhaloman92

Жыл бұрын

Same

@lucifer.means.light.bringe738

Жыл бұрын

Omg critical drinker was the first review channel I ever found and subbed to

One could argue the T-Rex was unimaginably stealthy at the end of the first one. The books were always better. I wish they would adapt the first novel as a 10 - 20 part miniseries. Shit I wouldn’t even complain if they make Malcolm a black guy (or Ellie a black girl for the modern film fans) if they were, in all other ways true to the source material, violence and all.

@jedibrooks7235

Жыл бұрын

I agree that final scene makes no sense lol they should have heard it coming. and i might check out the books im curious after making this

@hectorvalverde5044

Жыл бұрын

@@jedibrooks7235the original novel is amazing, I’ve read it 4 times

@LeoTheYuty

Жыл бұрын

Highly unlikely, some themes in the novel could bother modern audiences and we could only replace these themes with sh*tty writing that is less offensive to them.

@blobbertmcblob4888

Жыл бұрын

@@jedibrooks7235 ..No? Watch prehistoric planet. They explain perfectly how something as large as T.Rex was capable of being stealthy. The T.Rex being able to sneak up on things is the most realistic part of the movies.

@MylotheZooLovingScientist

Жыл бұрын

@@blobbertmcblob4888 It's not that the T. rex being stealthy doesn't make sense anatomically, it's that it doesn't make sense for the "character" established within the film. It's introduced as a gigantic predator that literally shakes the ground and makes sonic booms when it walks, i.e., it shouldn't be capable of just turning that off for the sake of the plot, lol.

I love how this one video summed up how we think of the enemy in this movie, it cuts to the scene where nedry and Dodson are collaborating at that outdoor restaurant and nedry sarcastically goes "Dodson! Dodson! we have Dodson here!... See nobody cares. Nice hat."

Thank you for the great review. Although I now genuinely feel stupider as a human being for knowing the plot of this movie.

It’s Dino time!! You should talk about how hard the “fast and the furious “ franchise is being milked

@PaulMillard1973

Жыл бұрын

Milked!! They fucking drained it, refilled it and then drained it again

@jimmyboy131

Жыл бұрын

The going into space movie was too far. Up to that point I was willing to go out and enjoy some fun with friends, watching a throw-away action movie, and munch some popcorn and get some laughs. But c'mon, that movie was so ridiculous it wasn't even fun.

The owner of the business I work for actually had her dad pass in that kind of plane crash. He was a business man and a pilot who often flew his clients. He hit a storm and went down. They couldn't find them for a long time and when they did, it was in about 30-60ft of water. They were all still in their seats but him and the the other front seat passenger were totally decapitated from the impact in the ocean. And they hit ICE and hot out unscathed. Absolutely unbelievable

We called him Star Lord the whole time too when we were watching these. That’s how unmemorable his character is!! instant sub. You’re funny.

Your critical analysis of this movie is SPOT ON ! Thanks for softening the blow, of realizing that this movie was 2hrs and 27min of my life that I will never get back.

I wish we could just skip to the part where we are all looking back at this era of entertainment and think, "How the fuck did it ever get that bad?...."

I'd say this was mostly spot on, but people give The Lost World too much shit a lot of the time. JP3's worst crime was only just that it had no reason to exist. I'll Give the first Jurassic World Credit for at least trying a "what if" if the Park had actually opened, and exploring Hybrid Dinos, which was previously only ever done in the toylines. But Fallen Kingdom and Dominion, just no excuses, they are insufferably and insultingly bad. Trying to Reunite Ellie and Grant, only it's too little too late, as Grant's arc in the first film was all about getting on board with having kids with Ellie, but that ship sailed as they're both far too old.

This makes me wish there was an accurate depiction of the Carnosaur novel. The military was actually useful at the end 😆

@animezilla4486

Жыл бұрын

I disagree that would make the movie truly suck

The Drinker ordered me here. Turns out to be the best assignment I've ever received. Bloody good one, mate.

The armored Mercedes rolling right in to scene next to Chris Pratt had the theatre rolling

I think Chris Pratts one condition for being in the JW movies was "I'll do it but my character is what I think of myself, a manly badass with no flaws" Owen Grady is the definition of "Plot Armor"

@AnAmericanMusician

Жыл бұрын

Get over your hate boner dude. There are far worse actors out there who do far worse movies on a regular basis.

@Mobius118

9 ай бұрын

Even if he did think that it’s pretty much not wrong lol

@datboi9539

8 ай бұрын

Wish so many Mary Sue's in movies nowadays, it's amazing that they'd go for that...

I guess the Jurassic Park "franchise" shows why vanilla works. People dont think "boy gotta watch that new Jurassic Park movie!" people think more like "okay i want to go out with my date/friends/family/kids/wife tonight, what could be the smallest denominator? Oh i know, lets watch the inoffensive meaningless dino movie." I dont mind it that much, at least its not anouther race/genderswapped mess, i just hope good movies are still getting made and i appreciate every new good movie like Joker or The whale very recently. (Also it gives good KZread content)

@ChamblesRNG

Жыл бұрын

Your date/friends/family/kids/wife gets offended watching good movies? 😂

@anguswilliam2141

Жыл бұрын

You took your family to see The Whale? Ewww...

@Beispielname1233

Жыл бұрын

@@ChamblesRNG No they fall asleeep

@LinkMarioSamus

Жыл бұрын

Joker wasn’t that good, although I didn’t hate it. Just found it offensively inoffensive really.

@anguswilliam2141

Жыл бұрын

​@@LinkMarioSamus Joker was a emo film that somehow made it to mainstream... prob off the back of the Joker recognition. I didn't like it. All it's going to do is sooth psychopaths and give the pricks some kind of validation.

O my god my day just got way better

"F@#k the guy who set up the lights in this movie" . . This entire video is a master class on brain dead cinema, You have my respect Jedi Brooks, say it like it is.

Ironically, the point of the first one was to explore humanity's greed. John Hammond in the book is a ruthless, manipulative businessman who, by the end, is literally planning how to build the park again while the workers around him are clearing the detritus and bodies. It's only in the film where he's the kndly grandpa figure, which hugely detracts from the impact his character has in the book - a selfish, corporate sociopath obsessed with money at all costs.

As an ecologist, the Jurassic World movies had me facepalming. It was a 180° whiplash from the first Jurassic Park movie's theme of "Yup, these dinosaurs are dangerous, and also they're a genetic mashup so it's not like they're the real deal! (not to mention the ecosystems of millions of years in the past, with their plants and fungi down to the symbiotic gut bacteria of the dinosaurs, no longer exist.) But suddenly it's "But these poor dinosaurs are _alive!_ So we have to protect them and treat them as threatened species" when in reality they're invasive megafauna that will utterly destroy global ecosystems (which are already under strain from 8 billion humans). Forget dinosaurs killing humans, who cares. The day the hippos go extinct due to T-Rex eating them will be catastrophic not just for African river systems but also for the fertility of the savannah around those river and all animals dependant on that. Hippos are a key species. Dinos who went extinct hundreds of millions of years ago in a totally different era are not.

4:09 "DODGSON! WE GOT DODGSON HERE!!" "See, nobody cares."

The main villain of this movie (Lewis Dodgeson (I think it’s dodgeson?)) is supposed to be the same guy who met up with Denis Nedry at the cafe in the first movie to bribe him into stealing the embryos from Hammond. Not sure if any of you already knew this, but if you didn’t, the more you know.

@creeper7ech520

11 ай бұрын

yeah, what happened to Dodgeson? He didn't come off as the socially awkward tech CEO.

@gatorgaming3407

11 ай бұрын

Yeah, I do find that kind of wierd

Critical Drinker recommended this. Great analysis of the films. Consider me a fan.

Man you remind me of Ellie Sattler examining the giant pile of feces of that Triceratops in the first Jurassic Park. Great video breaking down what's wrong with the movie. Great work, keep it up.

Everyone involved with that scene is going to Hell. They ordered a few pizzas, the Domino's Delivery Driver is going to Hell :3

Lost world is underrated

@jedibrooks7235

Жыл бұрын

The first half is. Then a girl kicked a raptor across a room an broke the film. The rest of the movie is a fever dream

@hanburgundy4317

Жыл бұрын

​@Jedi Brooks What's wrong with that? Kelly is a gymnast, and the scaffolding presented a similar setup to horizontal bars; a character - a child character at that - showed some agency and used a skill that had been hinted at prior to knock a raptor off of a beam and out a window. What's the issue? Same with the homage to Godzilla with the buck in Diego. What's the issue?

@timewarpdrive77

Жыл бұрын

@@jedibrooks7235 How does a girl kicking a raptor break the film? I agree that the san diego section is bad (this was spielberg's fault and last minute decision, and he admitted this). Overall, I think it's unfair to lump it in with 3 and especially the World Trilogy; its a fine movie with a bad ending

@aaronflowers8881

Ай бұрын

Extremely

@aaronflowers8881

Ай бұрын

​@@timewarpdrive77It's so annoying how everybody whines and complains about the San Diego scene. It was fun and exciting. I really don't understand people.

To add, last time I checked, Locusts dont eat people, so as long as you dont mind walking through a swarm of giant, buzzing, scary bugs, you'll be perfectly safe. Every character could have just closed their eyes, peeking out occasionally, and walked right through them.

@caldwellfisher5288

Жыл бұрын

But every one DOES mind walking through a swarm of giant, buzzing, scary bugs~~Every one, even the ones who know they wont eat you.

@slchance8839

Жыл бұрын

@@caldwellfisher5288 well....cant argue with that. you got me, there.

@juliancaraveo5700

Жыл бұрын

I mean to be honest , if you saw one in the real world you would either run away or grab something to kill a giant locust.

1. They were nasutoceratops and sinoceratops in the beginning. 2. I give the film some credit due to the fact that it was filmed entirely during the height of all the Covid19 restrictions so that must have been extremely difficult to abide by all the strict and inconvenient rules( which i personally think were excessive and unnecessary) and 3. The extended version made the film make MUCH more sense and also the books shed a lot of light on who Biosyn really is. They were the ones who convinced Nedry to sabotage the OG park. Dodgeson was the leading man in that regard. For those who didnt know already.

"Its just dino time" that got me dying

You and Drinker need to co-produce a review sometime man. Great stuff!

Idk if the movie explains it but how tf did releasing like 20 dinosaurs into one small forest result them suddenly populating the entire planet, being abundant everywhere and being made up of species that were not only, not released by maisie but werent even part of ingens stock. How tf does that happen, seriously ?

Dude what an amazing video and script, would’ve expected you to have 1m+ subs. Keep it up bro

Good job with this video! As someone who has much disdain for Dominion (and the trilogy as a whole), I had quite the laugh watching you point out many of its ridiculous, brain-melting flaws. Keep up the great work! P.S: I too love the dinner scene from JP. Malcolm and Hammond's debate is so intriguing, and many of the lines are so great yet so painfully ironic when remembering that this trilogy exists. Shame that the franchise ended up the way it did, but at least we still have that timeless classic to look back on.

had to pause the vid mid way at 14:20 just to write this... your reviews are hillarious and i hope you never stop making them. Just watch out hollywood doesn't stop making shitty movies becouse your reviews about them are golden

Your channel was a fantastic recommendation. May be youtube's first for me!

The clip of the girl swinging at Clair only to continuously swing at air just broke me down😂😂

@mgg1244

Ай бұрын

yup

18:49 Funnily enough her name was never Charlotte in FK. It was Maisie Lockwood and she passed away sometime around 2002. So there is literally no reason for her to still be around in 2009. I despised how they tried to make her seem like some important character. Even on my first viewing of the movie , I was like " Yeah I don't like this character at all".

To be fair, the T-Rex in the first movie also had Stealth 100.

That, I Am Legend clip is priceless with curls just showing up and helping Claire. 😂😂😂😂

Excellent critique, one of the best I've seen for this film. Can tell you love and respect the original Jurassic Park as much as I do. The screenwriters' lack of skill re: communicating themes and character is a MASSIVE issue with the three Jurassic World films, especially the last two, and you demonstrate this really well. And I love that you call them out - writers, directors, producers, the whole crew - for the disdain they show to the original premise and franchise as a whole! Only thing I would maybe disagree with is your take on John Hammond - I love his character too, but I feel he was definitely more selfish, profits-driven and calculating than you acknowledge; it just wasn't ALL he was, he had a sense of wonder and cared about people as well (the version of his character in the novel - not so much, haha). Dominion makes a fair point that Hammond and Lockwood COULD have used the genetic discoveries for more things beneficial to humanity than a dinosaur theme park...I'm just glad they didn't, 'cos I'm a big Jurassic Park fan. :D

My biggest gripe with this franchise is the Tyrannosaurus rex always is the underdog, but in real life it was largest/most powerful land predator to ever exist. A T. rex fighting a Giga or Spino in real life wouldn’t even be fair for those dinosaurs since both weren’t built to fight tanks. Also the franchise past The Lost World high key sucks. The Lost World was at least fun, and that gymnastics scene wasn’t the entire film like the rest of the films turned out.

The problem - Hollywood thinks we want bigger and bigger. No. We want small, intimate and horrific. We want- a group of 20 people camping, who are terrorised by a group of velociraptors who have destroyed the tyres on their cars, and the rescuers can't get through due to a mudslide, for 24 hours.

i loveeee videos like this! No punches pulled, subscribed

One of the driving points of the original story (both the novel and film) was the fact that certain species simply cannot coexist and that a world where dinosaurs & humans meet will ALWAYS end poorly because we will NEVER have control over these incredibly powerful forces of nature. We could stay away from them and hope they stay where they are, kill them, or they kill us. There was never meant to be a door #4 where they integrate into the wild kingdom and we just get used to it. There is no even quasi-realistic scenario where that could EVER happen in our world, which this franchise does take place in despite being fiction. It's fundamentally impossible, even if we suspend disbelief at the implausibility behind the dinosaurs' creation. And I guarantee you that at least some of the people working on this movie knew that full well. Suspension of disbelief is a necessary thing for stories like this going in, but it's NOT a blank check and never has been. There must always limitations when you make the decision to craft any mythos with at least some defined boundaries reflecting a level of reality. And Jurassic Park was ALWAYS intended as a semi-realistic scenario of "What if this actually happened, how would we react?" It was NOT a feel-good fantasy where anything goes with these animals and logic only matters when the plot decides it does. That whole approach on its face betrays what made Jurassic Park so compelling and yet frightening at its core. The only way Dominion could have potentially justified its existence was by demonstrating the consequences of dinos spreading into the world after decades of humanity's greed & arrogance leading them to repeatedly make the same mistakes. And then (GASP), we actually have to COMMIT to saving humanity by doing whatever it takes to make them extinct again. Not just locusts, not just carnivores, ALL of them. For as thoroughly poorly written as Fallen Kingdom was, at the very least, it served to set this up. Dominion's trailers set up audiences to perceive this as the consequences of every prior film coming to pass: "Humans and dinosaurs can't coexist. We created an ecological disaster. We're racing toward the extinction of our species. We not only lack dominion over nature. We're subordinate to it. We made a terrible mistake." The tone, dialogue, and visuals in the marketing all set audiences up to expect that the relationship between humans & genetically engineered beasts was coming to an end one way or another and only ONE SIDE would survive. That was no accident, and the marketers knew exactly what they were doing. Setting, manipulating, and selling expectations is their job. It was marketed as "the epic conclusion to the Jurassic era", a story about consequences with every character responsible for the current state of the world being forced to face what they've done as countless innocents are suffering for it. Dominion still wouldn't have been a worthy sequel even with this direction in my opinion, but this angle could've given it more impact. It could have given the film something to say that felt relevant to the original. But no. As with every entry since the 1993 classic, the studio wanted to have their cake and eat it too. They proved themselves to be exactly the kind of corporate suits Malcolm has criticized, more concerned with selling something than considering the ramifications of what they've made. It valued the spectacle of "Wow, dinosaurs, big action, toys, etc." (the mindset that contributed to Jurassic Park ending up the way it did in the first place) over what the story was about, denying a substantiative conclusion to this irreconcilable imbalance of nature by ending on a note of "This is just normal now, so we'll live with it!" and playing the triumphant/nostalgic music. This ending was anything but a triumph, nor was it in any way an ending to the franchise that would make any logical in-universe sense or thematically complement where it started. It was the cinematic equivalent of the creators & studios being so unwilling to make a commitment either way that they just put the Earth in the worst position it could be in and left it there. Even if humanity tried to coexist with these animals for a while, it will NEVER last. And we know this for a fact because literally everything in the series told us so. "Life finds a way." was NEVER intended to mean "We can't stop this now, so let's give up and make peace with it." What Ian meant, for those who paid attention, was "Nature will never submit to your desires." This was further solidified by Ellie's line of "You will NEVER have control! THAT'S the illusion!" We can argue "Well, that's the point, humanity never learns." But any writer worth their salt knows that, at a certain point, that's just a cop-out to justify milking a franchise while excusing increasingly lazy writing. It's a shield the creators hide behind to negate criticism. The reality is that the studio executives behind these movies didn't do what they've done to send a message about humanity being its own downfall. It wasn't about sending a message that we will never learn. It was a means to sell a product, pure and simple. And instead of admitting that, we keep giving money to it because escapism matters more to us than quality control. Remember when those weren't mutually exclusive, when more creators made the effort to find a balance between executing both to a well done result? Obviously, dumb, fun escapism has always existed but that's NOT what Jurassic Park was in the beginning. Unfortunately, our standards for storytelling have sunk so low that we not only praise this cash-grab IP assassination. There are fans who will relentlessly defend it, to the point of insisting that the originals were just as flawed. And what's more pitiable is, a number of these fans genuinely believe what they're saying. Or, part of them probably knows deep down that Jurassic Park peaked a long time ago but they'll die on the hill of defending this anyway because admitting what shlock the series turned into would make them feel bad. This is often the true motive behind saying "It's all subjective." It's another shield to hide behind that countless people will parrot ad nauseum because they're afraid to feel any negativity toward something they enjoy (as if that inherently equates to it being "ruined" for them, which I think is a childish mentality). It's like a generation of Joy duplicates from Inside Out, dopamine addicts who only care about feeling good. These individuals run toward pleasure and away from negativity, even when feeling negativity is necessary sometimes to be healthy or improve. They see less or no value in the art of storytelling, so long as they can turn their brains off for two-three hours. THIS is becoming the primary audience for entertainment, the audience every Jurassic Park sequel probably since The Lost World was made for. The studios cater to them for one main reason: Their money is easier to get. And that's sad.

@ambrosianapier7545

9 ай бұрын

I agree especially the last three paragraphs. In a world with decreasing morals, depth, critical thinking, and attention spans(and depression and poor mental health skyrocketing) there is definitely a large group who doesn’t care about the quality of what they watch

@dragozillasaur813

6 ай бұрын

and yet you guys wanted act like Jurassic Park is a Flawless movie while ignoring the fact that no movie is flawless or perfect

What pisses me off about the scene with the armed guys against the raptors is thst in the previous movie a single 9mm bulletnearly killed blue, those raptors wouldve been toast

When he lassoed the dinosaur i almost walked out of the theater... until i remembered we were still only like 1 minute in

6:00 You just reminded me of how this scene has a bunch of animals standing in a room thats ON FIRE and filling with hydrogen cyanide gas, which is explosive and horrifically toxic

They had guns and they choose to flee? 😂

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the whole thing with the reveal of Maisy's mom in this film to retcon her from being a clone, to a full-on virgin birth scenario?? Why on earth they would go from a logical extension of the ethics of cloning, to parodying the virgin Mary is absolutely bizarre and makes no sense whatsoever in the film while simultaneously breaking continuity with the last.

@matteomastrodomenico1231

6 ай бұрын

Because people thought that reveal was stupid, so they backtracked.

And there are still people who will call these movies "masterpieces".

@datboi9539

6 ай бұрын

Consoomers

That Kermit the frog clip 😂😂😂😂 so good. Nice job dude. Please keep it going.

You summed it up in the first few minutes here; idiotic humans. The fact that every writer and director and cast member have allowed this series to devolve is stunning to me. Why didn't ANYONE fight for the integrity of this franchise?

@jaarneal

Жыл бұрын

Lots of people are answering your question just by saying: “profit” or “money”, as if that’s all there is to it. And that really is all there is to it. Good art requires taking risks. Any movie that is good, is good at least in part because it did something new and different. Big movie studios that operate on billion-dollar franchises will consistently take the low-risk option. And low-risk means… no art.

@joetheschmoe1066

9 ай бұрын

Its 2 things one is the attempt at easy profit. The big execs in charge believe the viewers will just mindlessly watch it because its (insert Ip here) movie, the other issue is that writers and people making these movies unironically believe theyre special and skilled enough that they can redo these stories better. This combined with the fact that the people who could and would care enough to say anything either put up with it to keep a paycheck or get bullied into submission for going against the status quo, leads to movies like this. Just look at how Henry Cavil was treated when he tried to give the Witcher some level of accuracy to the source material

I like how you kept referring to the Chris Pratt character as "Star Lord". Because truthfully I don't even remember what his character's name in this film series was. 😂 To be honest, that's what I call Chris Pratt in ANY movie I see him in. I like him a lot and think he's a great actor, but so far the ONLY film he's in that has made any sort of lasting impression on me to where I actually remember and bond with the characters has been his _Guardians of the Galaxy_ franchise. 😕

I liked how to big bird guy was violent (which is about the only thing i liked). Just because somethings a herbivore doesnt mean its a harmless little creature. Though its stupid it just shows up for no reason at the end.

Wow, you nailed that part at the end,” when was the last time you felt afraid for a character since the first movie”

To be fair the T Rex did stealth it's way into the visitor's center to kill the Velociraptors at the end of the first film.

@matteomastrodomenico1231

Жыл бұрын

​@@LucasBR702 No, that was actually Spielberg's reasoning. Many of Jurassic World's flaws can still be found in Jurassic Park.

And yet, they never got the Dilophosaurus right, which was about 20 feet long and big 😂. I still lmao every time I see that poor dino in these movies.

The hand thing they do to tame dinosaurs will never not be hilarious to me, it’s just sooooo stupid. It went from an already stupid thing that Chris Pratt did specifically with his highly trained raptors, to literally just a Jedi mind trick that any schmuck can do to any animal 😂😂😂

The Drinker sent me. Love your work, looking forward to seeing more.

Its crazy how The Super Mario Bros movie had realistic dinosaurs done just barely before Jurassic Park by like a month... makes me think they ripped it off 🤔

@hanburgundy4317

Жыл бұрын

That's Stan Winston you're talking about - gtfo.

Great video. I forgot I even watched this last year. I clearly remember watching the original JP in theaters and being so amazed. This movie still made 1 billion at the BO. So, not just the writers fault.

So many perfect clips mixed in here i don't know where to start. Well played. Subscribbled

Just found your channel. How have you not got more subscribers? Brilliant takes

they should just do a dinosaur drama where the legacy actors play as dinosaurs themselves... I guess if some studio were to buy the rights to turn LKD Jenning's Mark of the Conifer into an animated series that be something