Emotional maturity green lights 1. She takes responsibility (and consequences) 2. Effective communicator 3. Vulnerable 4. Empathetic (and understanding) 5. Emotional Regulation (processing) 6. Self validating. Bonus point; none of us are perfect, everyone has their flaws, try to improve weaknesses in yourself

@Pikawarps

Жыл бұрын

@John Grigg i feel you… was with mine for 10….

@kiara4345

Жыл бұрын

@John Grigg Can I ask how you stayed with her

@Jazzmaster1992

Жыл бұрын

Number 4 is funny to me, because so many people claim to be empathic when they really aren't.

@roomofcybertron6380

Жыл бұрын

the girl i'm seeing has 4 out of 6... She do lack number 4 and 5

@Pikawarps

Жыл бұрын

@@roomofcybertron6380 4 and 5 thankfully are behaviors that can be learned with practice (if she decides to try to improve)

A lot of women will SEEM emotionally mature when you first meet them. Then after a few weeks or a few months, you see a whole other side to them.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

This definitely happens. True colors aren’t always shown in the beginning unfortunately

@johnkeller5163

Жыл бұрын

Practice the 90 day rule; it takes at least 90 days around someone in a relationship (not including time away nor electronic communications, but actual time face to face presence) to even begin to know anyone in a relationship. With that in mind, be honestly aware of the other person and act cautiously opening up one step at a time in earned respect.

I’ll throw in one I look for: *maturity when discussing previous relationships.* Too often, I hear people doing nothing but badmouthing their exes. When I hear someone maturely discussing their previous relationship and why it ended (including taking accountability as well, when necessary), it’s incredibly refreshing.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Sooo true!

@stayawayfromthewoke3412

Жыл бұрын

Green flag doesn’t have exes🤭

@antoniobrasse7157

Жыл бұрын

Pretty sure #1 covers this

@HarryPalmer-P.I.

Жыл бұрын

I've heard that's a hands off subject. Disagree because we've all had a past. But sort of a time and place to talk about it. All falls under the big umbrella of communication.

@NickSibz

Жыл бұрын

spot on and something i look for as well

Women: Men lack communication skills. Meanwhile.... Man: Hey babe what's wrong? Woman: Nothing.

@mohamedelgendy3923

Жыл бұрын

@@whats-app-2514 Nice try buddy.

@Youngboss1024

Жыл бұрын

Or they like to say in a monotone voice, "I'm fine."

@annagolod2592

Жыл бұрын

I think that's a sign of emotionally immature woman.😂Alright,there are different cases and different people.Each of them has personal reasons of saying so and not speaking emotions.There are women who actually may tell their emotions,I am one of them and I myself know some others like this.

She’s confident in herself, supports her partner, and lifts him up and not tear him down.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

🙌🏼

@GNotGenius

Жыл бұрын

I read these as a bunch of words that sound nice but doesn't mean much

@Gh0stGaminginc

Жыл бұрын

@@GNotGenius why? Because it came from a woman? Grow up.

@GNotGenius

Жыл бұрын

@@Gh0stGaminginc not at all. None of these things are specific. "Confident in herself" - what does that even mean? How is it meaningfully different from being confident? Other than sounding nice of course. "Supports her partner" what does that look like? People always say "support" but it's such a vague action to suggest and means different things to different people. "Lifts him up and not tear him down" again, what does this even look like? How much lifting counts as lifting him up? This is all abstract bs that I would expect to hear from a pastor or motivational speaker. It's abstract gibberish that sounds nice but doesn't mean anything But yeah, ride your sexism high horse

@Gh0stGaminginc

Жыл бұрын

@@GNotGenius it means what it means...for any situation. Your username is fitting 🙄 autistic by any chance?

If you ever find a woman that’s emotionally mature, which is a huge green flag, keep her safe! lol

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

🙌🏼😂

Not Taking responsibilty is a HUGE dealbreaker for me. I once dated a girl who would always blame others and it was so cringe She failed her GCSE's because she refused to revise, "Oh the school and my teachers gave me bad grades!" She told her friend to just get over her mothers death and her friend cut her off, "Oh she's so emotionally immature!" She was gaining weight because she did'nt go gym or eat better, "Oh its capitalism's fault im gaining weight" She couldn't find a job because she barely searched and did'nt make a good CV, "Oh its the governments fault, they just want to keep people down!" After she started blaming society and the government her issues I knew she was too far gone and just broke up with her. She's probably talking about how its my fault for this lol

Communicates effectively also means NOT GHOSTING! I've met a couple of women who are emotionally mature! Then again, I met one whom I thought was emotionally mature, but found out she was the furthest thing from. And very nice sweater haha! Thank you for another great video

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

So true! Thanks Tommy 😊

@Youngboss1024

Жыл бұрын

Women are VERY good at putting on an act when it suits and serves them.

@juanis8219

Жыл бұрын

@@Youngboss1024men are too. Anyone can do that.

Point #2 Right on. I have met so many women who expect me to "just know"what she wants. I am not a mind reader - but I am working on it!

The emotions one is a big one. It’s rare to find ones who can handle themselves emotionally and conflicts. It was rare to meet a girl like that in my 20s.

Biggest sign of emotional maturity for me is the ability to input self discipline in order to prevent you from repeating mistakes from the past.

@chriskiesling9387

Жыл бұрын

I needed to read this one right now. Huge

I recently got a job in a place in which it is almost all women. For most of my working life, I've worked in male-dominated fields. What an eye opening experience it has been. Some of the ladies are what Courtney described here, while others act like children - especially when they don't get what they want. Good video Courtney... I always enjoy your content!

@cliffthecoolcat

Жыл бұрын

Been there. Good luck to you. I'd start looking for a new job if I was you.

@innocentrage1

Жыл бұрын

Id say dont shit where you eat but the dating market is so hard right now, just go for it

@Youngboss1024

Жыл бұрын

That would give me constant anxiety, because I feel like you have to keep your mouth shut at all times or else you get reported, then fired.

You had me at “she takes responsibility.”

Taking responsibility and accountability is kryptonite for a woman---at any age. It simply just doesn't exist at all. Women will ALWAYS blame outside sources or someone else for anything and everything that happens. I honestly don't know how people find women who say, "You know what, that's my fault, that's on me, how can I fix this?" Women are also incapable of handling their emotions, because they are used to getting their way and everyone validating them. That births the rampant entitlement that permeates the world. When you tell a woman no for anything, they will get confused, upset, irritated, angry and spiteful.

Women/ men who have good self control, self discipline, know how to take good care of their self are GREEN FLAGS. Great video

One I’m always looking for is “She accepts you for you are, despite your flaws, disabilities or health disorders”. I’m epileptic & the best companions I’ve ever had (including my current wife) are the ones who liked me for ME. My disability didn’t change their view upon me.

Any woman who can take full accountability for their actions and behavior is a unicorn of the highest order in today's dating market. Being able to be empathetic and I mean TRULY empathetic to men's qualms and struggles is just the cherry on top for a really good woman.

Courtney, your focus on sharing positive content to balance needed material on negative traits is a truly refreshing.

A big one that is super rare is she can admit when she’s wrong. Another is that she can prioritize others before herself when appropriate.

It’s rare to meet one these days with all 6 green flags. Good luck out there fellas

Lord! How Did We Get This Lucky!! I Thought Life Would Never Be This Good...IM Telling You You Cannot Make This Up! ...I Am So Greatful...

We are all not only flawed but also broken emotionally ...... Thanks Courtney Ryan for this wonderful video ....

I just met a woman who just lashed out at me because I stated my opinion on not liking trying to be like celebrities she got mad and lashed at me and gave me a whole lecture. She wants to be like celebrities and live their lifestyle im like no thank you then gave me a lecture saying I could say something of yours is boring but I didnt. I told her you can but I wouldnt care. Glad I just watched this video because too me that was super weird that someone got that defensive. Thanks again Courtney!

Thank you for making these videos. I have been single for years and am trying to get back out there. These videos are invaluable.

Thanks for this, honestly thought the overreactions I was getting all the time in college were my fault for a long time. Recognizing the patterns when someone, simply has an opinion and isn't willing to accept anything else is a valuable skill. The instant you notice such a mindset, it's best to politely disengage since there is nothing to be gained from further conversation. When you do so, recognize you're being mature and avoiding a fight rather than thinking you're somehow incapable socially.

Thanks Courtney for sharing a valuable lens through which to view prospective partners. A relationship is always a big gamble after all.

Good phrasing about self-validation, that it's a sign of maturity. True. Too many adults I know don't get that. I didn't for too long, too.

Great points! I'll have one of those please! lol A good rule of thumb in a conversation is to remember that the primary goal isn't agreement but rather to understand the other person. An even better rule of thumb is to make keeping the connection between you the primary goal when disagreements happen

Great feedback and thank you for being kind and humble

I’m impressed that you made a video on this subject, and expressed the importance of discerning your impact upon communication between yourself and others. In the airline world and medical field, it’s called “Crew Resource Management”. As a team leader ( Surgeon, in the medical field; or Captain, in the airline world), we are, constantly, trained and evaluated on our use of our “team member resources”. Did I facilitate their input? Did I respect and consider their professional qualifications for their input, and respond appropriately? Maturity is the recognition that we are fallible, consider our team member’s input, and make our decisions accordingly.

Very good and valid insights that we all need to grow into maturity. I do question your point on validation. You acknowledge none of us are perfect so we are all vulnerable to self condemnation. Self validation does not remove self guilt. Nor does seeking it from others as you pointed out. It is the validation in the mercy from God that sets one free to be secure and at peace to grow into maturity.

Effective communication is key and it's very underrated.

Healthy and effective communication is attractive af

So true. I'll add one that I always look for. Consistent personality; means what she says, says what she means, does things she says she's gonna do, follows through on commitments.

I enjoy that you are sure to list both positive and negative traits, you are good info, not a "bash" channel Thank you

Great video! I agree with all these points, though I would add that a certain level of wanting validation from others is a healthy part of being human, as long as people don't go overboard with it. It would be just as big of a red flag if someone literally didn't care at all what people thought of them (possibly a sign of an antisocial disorder!) Like with most things in life, balance is key :)

Hope y’all and Courtney had a great Valentines Day! Signing off

As a father i most say, the last thing i wanna bring in to my life is alot of drama. A woman how are making a scene in front of my daughters. Someone who drain my energy , the energy i need to be a good father.. of course she can have some problems and i will try to help her, but there is a different between having problems and making problems

You look extra good in this look. The color is very flattering on you especially your eyes. Thanks for making great educational content that helpful for both Men and Women 💗

Thank you again, Courtney. Our big sister 🫶🏼

Thank you for that video. It shows togheter many ideas that I saw and thought separately. Now I have a basic guideline to show people. Thank you again!

These seem like great points to me. Gonna be on the lookout for them now

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

🥰

I would reframe the last point from self-validate to self-awareness. A girl doesn't need to seek external validation to hold delusions of grandeur like only dating men that make six figures. Being self-aware and realistic is a better way of thinking about it.

Can you do a subject on rebound people, whether a person needs a rebound person or not. That would be a subject to be coached on maybe?

I am normally a generous, kind and understanding person. however, i do have a temper, and can sometimes get very angry about seemingly small issues. When this happens its usually because of underlying issues which i have not been able to address.

Great points, Courtney! Your view on what a good, healthy relationship should be like really resonates well with me. I don't know if it's just me, but the lighting in this video seems a bit off. It's like your hair appears a bit... white-ish?

An amazing way to start this morning thanks for the video

Yep, I know I got to work on my temperament for sure.

Excellent advice

If you love someone, and this goes over all categories of relationship, from parental, friend, amorous or marital... you will yield to the needs and even whims of that person even if you see no benefit to it. The ability to reciprocate, as well goes along with this. Like the old song say's ... "You've got to give a little, take a little, if you want to get a little, Lovin" But people have to be compatible. In all categories from attractiveness, economical, intellectual and maybe spiritual ... there has to be the agreement that y'all are compatible. Without this then the clock is ticking ...🎭

I love your shirt you're wearing in this video

Real maturity is to walk away when it's a lost, Great for some when life constantly throws you in the gutter, Emotions become depressed, and giving up is the only stable way

Damn, the first one drops about 80% of women nowadays and the 2nd one even more so lMO. Great video as always and completely agreed.

It's funny the very 1st one you listed it out (taking accountability) every woman I've ever dated failed miserably.

At 6 minutes, we are all a work in progress. Great point

Thanks Courtney!

Cheers! Blaming others is always a red flag to me...

Emotional maturity is important on both sides. The true test comes when you are discussing finances. That’s a topic that brings a lot of emotion so if you can discuss and reach an agreement on finances with your partner then it’s a plus. Finances are the main causes of a divorce.

great, thank you 👏👏👏

Thou out my life I've had issues with people, and the oppression I've gotten has made me go mad, my maturity is being my friend while no one else is

Hello Courtney: Once my mother said to me that I am perfect. I burst out laughing. Have a lovely day.

You know this, but I'll just say it. These signs apply to everyone, men and women alike. Well done video Miss Courtney!

Hi Courtney, my girlfriend of 7 years passed away on September 27th. She had a heart condition and was getting her doctor to find out what was wrong, but they couldn't find out what was going on. It was a long distance relationship and I was visiting her in Illinois from Kentucky, we were at a park, and she collapsed in my arms and passed away right then and there. I couldn't make the funeral sadly, I'm on my way to her grave now to say my last good byes. She did cheat on me a few times because I was a simp but I'm now just a classic gentleman, I'll be nice until I am crossed. I'm not a jerk but i just wont ket anyone use or abuse me anymore. I'll date within my religion from now on. God bless you Courtney.

Are there classes, almost like a college course, out there that help to teach men how to get women to like them beyond friendship? I hope so. I would totally sign up for one if they exist.

Hello courtney ryan and how your day going and have you thought about starting your own podcast for youtube and spotify with your husband and the girls you have in your own videos in the future

Thanks for your video.

Some advice for those who've been receiving forms of rejection for most of their lives? Fundamentally lacking the stuff they should have had built into them by their parents and home life? Who've been through more crap and difficulty just to stay employed, housed, surviving in life? After a while a person just stops exposing themselves to yet more opportunity for rejection because who flagellates their own back with a whip? Even when you're a good, decent, moral, considerate person you become a crap magnet.

Well said

I like these kind of videos. ❤️

I would love to hear your thoughts on "Why is it always the man's fault?"

Her being a supporter to her boyfriend/husband is a great trait to have that is very rare in this modern world.

Great content thank you.

Another thing is that she’s open to growing in herself

Well I'm glad I'm not the only guy that watches you. I was really starting to second-guess myself. Lol. Keep up the great work Courtney

You look stunning beaut i kno what already beauty ✊💕

Courtney is a goddess🧜‍♀️. That reminds me....I have court today! 👮‍♀️

Happy Wednesday Courtney I hope you had a nice valentine's day keep up the great content 🌹🌹

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

You too! ❤️

Courtney is goated 🐐 awesome video!

this definitely apllies to both genders

I’m going to add some more. (I haven’t seen the red flags video.). She apologizes and changes her behavior. She stays away from drama. She can regulate her emotions without the use of drugs and alcohol. She goes to counseling. I’m not a drama person, unless it’s a TV show. My ex-boyfriend’s exes were always dramatic. Get together, break up, repeat. Once I messed up in our relationship. I apologized, baked him his favorite cookies, and permanently changed my behavior. Too many people use substances to keep their emotions in check. That is not healthy. I have been to counseling and have no problem going again if I need to.

Viva Courtney!

My American GF asked me to describe myself in 5 words. I said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she pointed out that as a Russian speaker I had a fu*cking lack of understanding about English apostrophes and spaces ... Moscow, Russia

@johnkeller5163

Жыл бұрын

Ah, English comes in time and you wrote well here. Frankly, if your girlfriend speaks and writes in perfect Russian as a second language, that difficult feat would be impressive.

Yeah my ex would basically do all of these things. It made me miserable. One thing she would do is when I took a breather before responding or told her I needed to take a walk so that I could clear my head, she would lash out at me for it. She would tell me I was “walking away”. One time she went as far as to lay her hands on me and cut my wrist open, obviously not her intention but she should’ve never put her hands on me. 👀 if this is your girl friend right now please have a chat with her about it. Maybe seek couples therapy. Or else it’ll end. Maybe that’s the best option anyways lol

Thank you Courtney for green flag video

this is making me realize that all of my relationships were so toxic omg

Sign 7: Doesn't insist on going out for a Valentine's Day dinner...on the actual day of Valentines and all that this entails.😉

Hey Courtney love you videos!

Empathy is something alot of women struggle with honestly. Couldn’t tell you how many times I heard “that’s unpaid emotional labor” when it came time to talk things through.

@GNotGenius

Жыл бұрын

Sympathy is all you can ask for. Empathy requires way too much similar experiences to actually implement. But hey, people online always say empathy when they mean sympathy because it sounds nice

@Fall_Bondler

Жыл бұрын

@@GNotGenius pretty much

Hey, lovely Courtney and everyone ❤❤❤❤.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Hi Yosef! ❤️

Hat tip to the comment section. I like the positive sharing happening. My two cents: not needing to yell to make their point. A level headed woman is attractive (applies to men too I’m sure).

She is amazing... still

I like she's empathetic. She tries to put herself in some ones shoes. She be there for you through the good times and bad times and vice versa.

About the vulnerability aspect, would it also be immature to be venting too much? Edit: I definitely commented too soon. Later in the video, you mention seeking validation from others vs validating yourself so in a certain way that's what venting is all about.

My biggest hurdle is im 34 going on 16 mentally. I play video games all day when not working and get stoned. Thats about it. Work weed games sleep repeat. Odds are that ill never find a woman im attracted to who is into the same things or wants a guy who never wants to grow up.

6:10 all true

@CourtneyRyan I can add to this one, how about the ability to handle a guy who opens up and shows their vulnerability? Too often I see some women wanting their guys to open up but can't handle and weaponize it against us down the road. For me, I have a really hard time being open to anyone for fear of my vulnerability being used against me. #2 one of the biggest maturity traits I look for is a woman not being afraid at times to confront the guy and call him out for any misdeeds as long as it is not blown up out of proportion instead of just walking away and ghosting that person. I had a situation a year and a half ago when I was joining a Bible study group with one of my friends who I knew from college. She was going through a rough situation and was trying to be supportive of her. I responded to her post in a genuine and passionate matter. She later texted me via concern thinking that I was trying to hit on her. I responded by saying that's not true and I'm sorry that it was taken out of context. I was trying to be a true friend and supportive but she thought I was being a player and being supportive for the right reasons which was not true at all. Once we talked it out, I thought everything was good but to find out hours later that she blocked me from FB and her phone contact I was blindsided, hurt emotionally, and nearly had an anxiety attack at work. I felt like a scapegoat for the mess and still to this day have never got past it. I spoke to my counselor, my best friend, several of my close friends, and even two of my close friends who are females and went through the same situation as she did all felt she overreacted and blew the entire situation way out of proportion while being dramatic about it. When I look for a woman, I want someone who can challenge me to continue to be a better person but also not be afraid to call me out at times whenever I say something or do something that she may not like and hold me accountable. By doing that, I respect a woman's maturity a lot more than running away/ghosting/or being dramatic without getting all facts and details. I hope you see this comment Courtney and hope to get your response on this take

Courtney you're the definition of beautiful, wow

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Aww thank you 🥹

The title of this video, thanks for the laugh. 😂

I work in a hospital with 85% women and this does not apply,...actually nothing from the outside world applies in that hell hole.

Emotional maturity and Emocional Intelligence are green lights, both are related but not the same