If a girl knows how you feels and she still wants to pull away, let her go. Forget about it and move on. Concentrate on the essentials.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Yes sir!

@nyterpfan

Жыл бұрын

Be yourself at all times and be confident and proud of who you are! Eventually someone will notice and appreciate your unique and special qualities. It might take awhile for that to happen---but it's absolutely worth the wait! (And the alternatives are something to run FAR FAR away from!!)

@sigvicious5599

Жыл бұрын

That!

@cameronf3343

Жыл бұрын

Would’ve saved me a lot of bullshit if I really let that sink in many years ago.

@acrylup

Жыл бұрын

How I wish that I could. I’m struggling so much right now, especially since I feel there’s a lot of fear of engagement from her part and I know she likes me too. How I wished I could find a way to make her feel comfortable and trust me …

The mistakes, for those in a hurry 1) Obsessing over why she pulled away 2) Chasing (not pursuing- she has another video explaining the difference. Check it out when you eventually finish your deep dive on this one. ) 3) Grand gestures/Being overly nice 4) Getting clingy 5) Trying to change her mind/Begging 6) Waiting around for her My cheesy summary? She may not respect you either way. But she DEFINITELY won't respect you if you don't respect yourself. Go out there and kick ass, my dudes. But before you do, give this video a thumbs up 👍

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

🙌🏼

@wynonasbigbrowndragon6121

Жыл бұрын

@Spots Corner I feel like I did most of these, with a SHAMEFUL amount of emphasis on number 5. But I don't think I waited around. That's the only thing in there that I didn't do

@wynonasbigbrowndragon6121

Жыл бұрын

Damn. It's 5 o'clock somewhere, I guess 😅

@matthiasdahms7

Жыл бұрын

you could just summarize the whole thing by saying if women pull away let them go, because everything you could do is wrong. maybe send them one text telling them by and saying that it is cowardly of them to fade away instead of being respectful and just telling you it doesn't work for them. might actually be the only move that might have her reconsider. but even if she does, don't take her back.

@Introvertedalpha

Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

My biggest takeaway from this is be a good man and if she doesn't want that, let her go. Someone will appreciate everything she didn't.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Spot on

@patrickwilliam3322

Жыл бұрын

Being with a girl who doesn't like you that much is just a losing deal, you'll never come out ahead or even no matter what you say or do. Needs to like you at least as much as you like her (usually more) for it to work out.

@Virginian276

Жыл бұрын

@@patrickwilliam3322 you are absolutely correct. I've been in that situation too many times.

Rejection breeds obsession. If she’s running away from you, good indication it’s not meant for you. Don’t take it personally and move on

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely! Love this comment

@mattlogan425

Жыл бұрын

Keep up the good work Courtney. Found your channel recently. Love your authenticity and honesty

@drip369

Жыл бұрын

@@mattlogan425 She is definitely KZread's favorite big siste! I found her well over a year ago for fashion advice, and that's typically all I needed, yet I'm here to support the channel as well as everyone in the comments section so hit that 🛎 and enjoy!

@fullmetaltheorist

Жыл бұрын

@@marasco.official Yep. First impressions are key.

@whythefuckineedhandle

Жыл бұрын

@@marasco.official Well. I know. Whatever the feelings, once you make peace with idea that you can't change her mind - not now, and very possibly never - the better for you. And yes, it will get better with time. A lot better. Speaking from experience.

Guys, at the end of the day, you can't control other people and if the girl pulls away, just forget about it. All you can do is present your best self to a girl, show her why you are the real deal and a good choice, and after that, it is up to her to connect the dots and open the door. If she can't do that, just move on and another girl will be able to get you. A real man with value doesn't need to chase someone or clobber them over the head on why he's high value; people will be able to see that make the connections as needed, and if they can't, that's their loss.

@GoodGuyPlayer2

Жыл бұрын

My brother in christ, you absolutely nailed it!

@Introvertedalpha

Жыл бұрын

Great advice.

@kirk1968

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! Well said.

@a.k.3659

Жыл бұрын

If the girl pulls away, take your time while trying to forget her. There!Fixed it for you! 🤓

@darksaintcj

Жыл бұрын

@@a.k.3659 no don't even waste your time

This is why it's healthier to chase/obsess over your own hobbies, and interests. When a woman pulls away, put that chasing/obsession energy towards your hobbies and interests. This will not only help you cope, but you'll feel happier and will make you a more interesting person that other women will respect and admire.

@Introvertedalpha

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for this advice!

@outofgrid

Жыл бұрын

You said it all!

@Cyrus992

Жыл бұрын

Some of us do not have hobbies/interests that 20s women can easily come by. For me it is real estate development, urban planning, architecture, and current affairs. Most guys aren't even into it either.

@joaquin67

Жыл бұрын

@@Cyrus992 maybe I should have said passions which can include hobbies, interests, profession (career/busines), fitness, communities, volunteering, etc. Passion/ambition are attractive in anyone.

@a.k.3659

Жыл бұрын

This only applies to women which are less interesting than your hobbies and interests. But then again, why bother with those women? If she is the one then no hobby or interest would be more interesting and fulfilling than being with her.

Pick someone who picks you. Period. Don’t waste time & investment with someone who feels lackluster about you.

Where's the video telling women to be consistent, say what they mean and mean what they say and to not say and act like they want you and then pull away? Can't wait for that episode.

@pickituup34

Жыл бұрын

excellent point

It’s a tough pill to swallow but don’t chase after people. If they want to be with you than they will make time for you. This goes for friendship and relationship.

@selfconflicteddating6117

Жыл бұрын

Definitely for both friends or dating. One side relationships are not really relationships

@letsgetit90

Жыл бұрын

@@selfconflicteddating6117 - yeah but a lot of people are afraid to be alone. This doesn’t included the fact that for most long term relationships or friendships people won’t break off due to the history. Aka they feel Like they wasted x amount years and don’t want to know that they lost years from this. Different point of view is how people can move on or stay in bad relationships. I cut folks off who has been in my life for 15 plus years and including one I knew my whole Life. I have no regret because I knew this was blessing and a lesson that better me for the good. Wished them the best and everything but my life is so Much filled and happier without their presence.

@selfconflicteddating6117

Жыл бұрын

@@letsgetit90 it is not easy to end a relationship dating or friendship but I have done both recently. But the dating one was more difficult because i had no hard feelings against her just knew it had to stop so i ended it. She and I are friends and that is it now and things are much better that way for me.

@letsgetit90

Жыл бұрын

@@selfconflicteddating6117 - Happy and congrats for taking those steps! You did what most folks couldn’t and won’t do so mad respects for you guys both. I have a lot of friends who relationships was/is dead but both refused to end it. Some of them were stuck on lambo and felt like they wasted All theirs years and some got to the point where they were faking it for their families. Cant wait for your journey to continue and all the experiences and blessing.

We as guys need to get out of our logical mindset when this happens..and searching for reasons. Just let her go. If she is someone who you want to circle her way back to you, you have a far better chance of succeeding if you leave her be, and live your own life. It seems counter intuitive if you havent experiencd this or have failed at it, but it's true.

@MrFirstonraceday

Жыл бұрын

Right on. Logic doesn’t work with most women. No reason, no accountability.

@juliochavez1682

Жыл бұрын

Either that, or she wasn't feeling you off the rip. Do yourselves a favor, keep it moving and focus on yourselves. Women that are attracted to you and who have a high interest in making things happen won't be giving you the run around. Keep on doing your thing, gents! 🙏🏿

I've done every single mistake listed here lol. I'd love to say I wouldn't have made these mistakes if this video was out 6 years ago, but I know my heart would have been too stubborn. Everything here is true and I hope guys who are going through something similar take this advice to heart. While I feel lonely from time to time, I never want to go back to the anxiety and depression of being infatuated with someone who would take 3 weeks to 3 months to respond to my texts. This goes for friends too. I'm ok with people walking in and out of my life; now I'm just focused on my peace and solitude.

@Generalkenobi325

23 күн бұрын

Couldn’t have written it better myself. had exactly the same thing happen to me and I beat myself up about everyday even thought this happened six years ago , it’s hard to explain cos videos like this don’t make any sense until after it’s happened but as well all know none of this obsessing stuff even crosses your mind when your deep in the emotions. As a guy all you can think of is did I not do enough , I need to try harder even though the damage is allready done

Went on a couple dates with a girl. On the final date, got the “side hug” at the beginning and end. Caught the friendzone vibe. Moved on to the next. No hard feelings

@THEINFERNOKID

Жыл бұрын

Oh hard feelings def, blocked on everything, on to the next....

@Coyote-wm5op

Жыл бұрын

Smart

@brianwaller7383

Жыл бұрын

If you are keen on body language, it’s quite obvious to tell when she’s into you or not. Maybe because I’m introverted but for me it’s quite easy.

@banginbadger75

Жыл бұрын

Lol the dreaded awkward side hug. 😅

@bobolulu7615

Жыл бұрын

If a girl gives you a hug and she pats you on the back while in the hug, you've been ditched.

Never chase or beg. Let her realize what she’s missing and if she truly cares they will always come back.

@andersnielsen6044

Жыл бұрын

True love is unbroken.. So she is not welcome back!

@adunknowng

Жыл бұрын

@@andersnielsen6044 exactly never let them come back, disloyalty should never be rewarded, true love will never look elsewhere.

@THEINFERNOKID

Жыл бұрын

​@@adunknowng Amen brotha, if she leaves, never let her come back, she will realize the folly in her ways but to late. You gotta have self respect too, and how much are you respecting yourself if you allow that type of behaviour.

@vickrunalza8057

Жыл бұрын

NOT if there was NEVER enough to have an interaction, then you CAN PLAY PSYCHOLOGICAL GAMES and END UP more ALONE than you were in the first place.

@HANASANAChannel

Жыл бұрын

Pull away doesn’t mean leaving all the way obviously if it’s leaving completely don’t let her come back

If she is pulling away, frankly she is already out the door; take the hint. It is just a weak way for her to break-up with you.

@THEINFERNOKID

Жыл бұрын

I know, women hate just being direct because then they can't get away with shit, or have another guy lined up first.

@ericmoore9444

Жыл бұрын

It’s how they dodge accountability for sure

@michaelrespicio5683

Жыл бұрын

True. Suck that guys resort to doing these things as a result of some women taking the cowardly way out.

@pickituup34

Жыл бұрын

@@michaelrespicio5683 SO true, in regards to being cowardly, and of course they never warn you in advance they will refuse to have any conversation that might be uncomfortable, and let you figure out all that the hard way, unfortunately. Typical narcissist, bait and switch routine.

I take being rejected as a " blessing " in disguise. Love is reciprocal & works " both ways!". The love you get should be equal or greater than the love you give!...To be validated, appreciated & respected is PARAMOUNT in ANY functional & healthy relationship! You can't control and make somebody love you! There are nearly 8 Billion people on this 🌎 earth!... Co- dependency or insecurities are not going to get you anywhere with anyone! Acting thirsty and with scarcity are going to attract the WRONG people who have the WRONG motives...intentions & agendas! Being used and abused isn't worth being with ANYONE who has those characteristics! So, relax, take your time and really get to know that person before making any serious commitments to them.

Very helpful! A mantra I developed a couple years ago in situations like such is this... "Personally, it's not personal"

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

🙌🏼

She pulls away….you pull away mentally, emotionally and psychologically. When thoughts pop up in your mind, ignore them. Don’t fight the thoughts. Shift your mind to yourself and constructive things for yourself. Drop the thoughts as they pop up. Move on. No calls, no text nothing. You are in control, not her. Get a grip of yourself and stop acting pathetic chasing her. Join a gym, go out by yourself. Get a few hobbies. Read books. Get your dental hygiene in order. Groom yourself. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Quit talking about her to your friends. Drop her like she dropped you.

@jleano609

Жыл бұрын

This is the way - you must fight the need for closure. The answer is always the same. Detach and put your energy into yourself and the next girl.

I recently got ghosted by a girl and I thought things were going well. Fortunately for videos like this and life experience, I am not upset in anyway. She actually did me a favor by revealing this major red flag early on. Fellow men, when this happens to you, I hope this post and this video help you out.

@clayhova

Жыл бұрын

This is happening to me rite now crazy how this vid pop's up

@machinesofgod

Жыл бұрын

@@clayhova Stay strong, there are plenty of better ladies out there. Best of luck to you.

@bastidface

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like she was just keeping you on the burner. So many girls have so many more options than men and will keep guys around until the best option becomes available to her.

@machinesofgod

Жыл бұрын

@@bastidface Who knows, I'm not speculating too much on it. It doesn't do anything productive, and even if she decided to "un-ghost", it's done. The red flag makes that of the Soviet Union look like child's play. Besides, I've got a full plate of graduate school, internship, and leadership activities. I'm honestly more relieved than anything.

@stepkickking9868

Жыл бұрын

Similar experience here, brother. It was all going well, and then communication started to slow. We’d arrange a date, and then she’d flake last minute with a half assed excuse. I found out why. She went on a night out, hooked up with someone and continued to do so, and caught feelings. I was being kept on the back burner in case it didn’t work out. Am I hurt by this? Of course. But you know what, I think I dodged a bullet. I’m not the best person, but I do deserve better, and one day I have faith I’ll find it. Much love.

Don't be on anyone's bench. Like, don't let anyone string you along with hope because honestly hope is a terrible fucking thing when it comes to this

Feeling heartbroken that she suddenly lost interest in me after many dates that were going well. It hurts even more when you knew she liked you a lot, you kissed and did other things together. But you can't do anything about it. You just move on😔

@GoodGuyPlayer2

Жыл бұрын

Hey! Pull that chin up king! You're better than that, don't drop your arms in defeat just yet, focus on the only thing you have control over: your well-being! Everything is gonna be alright my man, and eventually you're gonna be living a new, better life, just keep going.

@VPortho

Жыл бұрын

She lost interest = probably another guy. There's an endless number of other chicks waiting for you though, don't let that one bitch run your feelings. You're the fucking man, keep building yourself up instead

@sorlexx

Жыл бұрын

@@GoodGuyPlayer2 Thank you for the support mate, I really appreciate it🙏

@sorlexx

Жыл бұрын

@@howarddamico1237 Hahaha yeah you're right

[1] Obsession: Its all true, especially "she's with another." Give up and move one. [2] Chase: If she wants to connect, she will. NEVER chase. [3] Grand Gestures: SIMP and broke. [4] Clingy/ Needy: That's not a male role. Smothering. [5] Reasoning & Begging: Both the same. Move on. [6] Waiting: LOL, you obviously don't have a life... Oh, and she does? Disgusting.

@BoubacarBah02

Жыл бұрын

Great comment 👏🏾💪🏾

@prasannagupchup7887

2 ай бұрын

True. Precise. Spot on. Men, please note. And follow!

I saw my EX GF today when I was in the store, and I immediately was hit with a barrage of feelings. I sadly started overthinking and obsessing over why we separated (to sum it up, it was for the best for both of us. We separated on good terms) watching this helped me realign my thinking and to think clearly. Thank you Courtney 🙏🏻 keep posting the great content 🙂

The timing of this video couldn’t be more perfect for the situation I’m currently going through. Before I even watched the video, I knew all of these things deep down, but to have someone reaffirm them to me is something I needed to hear. Thank you for another excellent video Courtney, it’s greatly appreciated.

@julioortega9656

Жыл бұрын

Facts

@miguelRao

Жыл бұрын

Im on the same boat, this video made me realize how tired I am. We will heal from this and move into a better head space. Live n learn bro 💯

@stepkickking9868

Жыл бұрын

@@miguelRao you got this buddy

@jaxonwoods8181

Жыл бұрын

I DM'd her IG on this subject, and I feel this is a DIRECT response to my situation, lol. It's hard to have an abundance mindset though when you haven't had any prior success. I don't know how to get out of it.

@ArtFerguson

Жыл бұрын

Same

I could understand why guys would be concerned over why a woman pulled away, but never, and I mean NEVER, obsess over why she did it. It's out of your control and all you can do from that point is live your life and if she comes back, cool, but if she doesn't, you didn't waste your time.

@moleahy6880

Жыл бұрын

If she tries to come back, reject her. Because if you take her back, she'll just pull away again. You look weak and easy to manipulate.

@limitlesssky3050

Жыл бұрын

Indeed don't waste anymore time on her. If she come back, which is a big IF, rejects her outright or just ghost her. When she came back she's going to be in her 30s, and you'll just be her beta male backup. I am sure any male have enough value to actually go with someone that actually appreciates him.

@jaxonwoods8181

Жыл бұрын

@@limitlesssky3050 I'm usually not a fan of ghosting but I am a fan of the Golden Rule, so if she ghosted you when you pursued and she's now pursuing and you ain't feelin' it, well...

Thank you for what you are doing. I've seen different channels about relationships, but I think yours is one of the best. I once watched another channel where a man manipulated other men into feeling inferior in order to sell them his expensive courses, and you helped me to clear my mind of this garbage. So I'm glad that there are people like you who are really trying to teach good things. I wish you good luck in your business, may your goals be achieved.

Great advice Courtney. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your knowledge on so many different topics. It is very appreciated and helpful. 👍🏾

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Aww of course! It’s my pleasure. Thank you for being here and for being kind 😊

This should be a part of every parent's "talk" with their kids. Great insight, Courtney. Thank you for making this.

I once won a girl over i like with this along but it was just not obsessing over and realizing I needed to work on myself and bad timing. You never know what a girl is going through better or worse, she made it back around and we had a really good relationship and chemistry after.

Holy crap Courtney, this couldn't have been any perfect timing. I legit opened KZread to watch a video on this and there you are, posted 20 mins ago. Love you!

*The ACTUAL Six Worst Mistakes MEN made:* *(1)* Passing and ratifying the 19th. *(2)* Legalizing No-Fault Divorce. *(3)* Permitting y'all to hold clerical, educational, corporate, military, and governmental offices. *(4)* Inventing the Birth Control Pill *(5)* #Believ[ing]AllWomen *(6)* Letting you dictate the course of relationships when you've no idea who you are or what you want.

If a woman pulls away - you just saved a fortune on a Valentine's Day gift, her birthday, Christmas and an anniversary gift (not to mention dining out, movies, vacations, etc. I guess you'll have to do without her gifts - 4 ties you didn't want to wear.

Thanks, Courtney. The thing is, it's so hard to understand that when you're emotional attached. 2 months ago, I had to cut my friendship of many years. Glimmer of hope is a killer. Walking away was the only choice. Funny enough, because of that I took a vacation, I meet someone who was into me and was even more into topics I discussed with the girl I walked away. I would've never been open to it if I stayed with the girl before. Still, that pain I felt was so much I can't describe. But Bruce Lee said "Pain will leave you when it's done teaching you".

@jpnarino

Жыл бұрын

Rejection hurts, but false hope kills. Glad you're doing better.

I've done all of these in my first very serious relationship when, after so many years living together, she started pulling away and not communicating. The more silent she was, the harder I tried. And it all ended disastrously for me. So now, if anything, I'm guilty of doing the opposite thing -- and which I've been told by some women is the WRONG thing to do. And that is that now when I'm in a new relationship and I feel the woman starting to pull away -- I let her go! I don't waste any time anymore. But some of these same women will come back months later and claim that I should have tried harder to keep them. Hmmm... damned if I do, damned if I don't huh?

Courtney is dropping dimes here. I have gone through most of this as many men have. Keep your options open and the second a woman isn't reciprocating your effort, move on. You can waste so much time pursing a woman who is not really interested. The thing about women is they may like the attention you give them so they will string you along to keep you interested. You have to learn not to fall for this.

Glad to see you partnered with Betterhelp! It's such a perfect fit for your channel haha. Point #2 is SO true about not chasing. Sometimes, the girl just needs some space if you've been spending a lot of time together or is even testing to see if you're needy in that way. You have to relax and let her come back on her own

Ha ha ha, I have to laugh at how many people are saying if she pulls away then let her go. So easy to say that when you are not driving. Anyone that's been in love knows hearts don't break even. Great song!

@lawrenceholden5716

Жыл бұрын

So true, when you fall in love with someone, rational thought goes out the window, only they matter and the average man will do virtually anything to keep them. The notion of just forgetting is fine if it's a first date and you didn't get on, or found there was nothing in common or was seeing someone else.

This is going to be a helpful video. I appreciate your videos Courtney! Thank you.

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

It’s my pleasure! ❤️

Absolute gem of a video, thanks for this Courtney

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

You’re so welcome! Thanks for being here!

If she pulls away, let her go. Cut your losses and move on. It's best for both of you.

I could've really used this a month or two ago. I was in love with this girl that had a boyfriend. They broke up. I asked her out, she told me she was in a bad place at the moment, but we could go out sometime in the future. I gave her space. Reached out to her again after a month, we talked a little, I thought we were progressing but I didn't want to overwhelm her so I pulled back a little bit. A month after that I talked to her again, asked her on a date with me, she told me something like "I really appreciate you, you flatter me but at this moment I can't give you what I know you're looking for and deserve. Life is full of twists so we don't know what can happen in the future". So I told her it was ok, and that I could finally close this chapter and wished her the best. 2 months after that and this week I found out... she's seeing another guy - She probably has for a couple of months now. So hey, it just wasn't me she wanted to be with. It was never about timing. I wish she could have told me that from the start but anyways... I didn't take it personal. I moved on. I learned a lot from this whole situation: When a girl wants you, she will make the first move or she'll do SOMETHING to let you know she's into you. She'll try to keep in touch. She'll initiate contact. Whatever. But it will obvious. If none of that happens, she's probably not interested so you shouldn't chase her or give her too much attention. Another takeaway from this experience is that if I ever have to go through something like this again, I will ask her to be honest with me from the get go. if it's a 'no', then it's a no. No games, it's all good.

@jleano609

Жыл бұрын

You did ok. You demonstrated pretty high value throughout those interactions. you gave the girl space and time and you didn't chase. A couple of things you might want to contemplate. You can ask a woman to be honest with you but who knows whether she will be? Actions speak louder than words in any case, they'll tell you what you need to know. Another thing - attractive women usually have a back up plan. They have orbiters. They keep guys on the back burner. She could have been doing this to you when she said "we could go out at sometime in the future"? But quite possibly this other guy was just ahead of you and she was just waiting to see if she could lock him down before pivoting to you. Or it was a full blown monkey branch and this guy was in the frame before she left her BF. So in some ways maybe it WAS about timing. But it doesn't really matter because it's not really something you can control. You can't be pining after this girl but you can be high value, Maybe things will work out for her with this guy, maybe they won't. Maybe she'll be single again at some point and show you signs of interest. But when she does they need to be STRONG signs. She's rejected you, it's up to her to make any bold move in the future. you don't go any further than your front door for this girl.

@GFXMOD

Жыл бұрын

@@jleano609 Yeah, thank you man. I'm a pretty good looking guy if I may say so myself, and I've always been very very confident about myself. There are like 5 or 6 girls who came on to me this past year alone, and I didn't want to go out with any of them because I was waiting for her. I wanted her and no one else. Obviously there are number of things that happened over the past 2 years (which I didn't say in my original post because it would have made it too long) that led me to believe she was into me. Maybe she was. Maybe she is. Maybe she never was and she was just being nice, hard to tell. But I was sure she liked me. Absolutely convinced. Which is why I gave her space and all of that. Because I was like "it will happen, no question about it. She just needs time to clear her head". You are probably right. She knew this guy from the gym, she saw him every other day (unlike me), so he probably just beat me to it and was at the right place, at the right time. We'll never know for sure. I agree, I'm not the kind of guy that would fall twice for the same trap. The chapter is closed now and if it ever re-opens, she'd have to be a lot more straight forward. Thanks again for your message and your point of view. I appreciate it.

@jleano609

Жыл бұрын

@@GFXMOD oh man, don’t worry, I’ve made that mistake when younger with girls, getting stuck on a girl who had a boyfriend, because you know, they are the attractive ones and all. I rejected a bunch of girls who approached me that I wasn’t attracted to, but that’s not the point. The girls that come on strong often aren’t that attractive, that’s why they have to come on strong. But getting stuck on a girl also dulls your chick radar for the subtle signs from other more attractive girls that they’re interested too. Bottom line, NEVER wait for a girl. You’ve got to kill that one-itis stone dead. It doesn’t serve you, it only hurts you. It’s the dumbest form of scarcity mindset because you’re just stepping on your own dick being oblivious to all the other girls around you who might well be receptive.

In the early stages of a relationship this is absolutely the correct advice. It gets more complicated once the guy is in love with the girl and has invested a lot emotionally. The longer and deeper the relationship, the harder it is just to walk away - even if that is the most sensible thing to do. I think Courtney could have been a bit more nuanced in this case. My comments: 1. Obsession. This is an internal feeling, if you are in love there is not much you can do about this. It will decline with time as long as you don't start chasing, stalking and getting weird! 2. Chasing. Yep, never chase it only makes people run away. 3. Grand gestures. Generally no, but sometimes one last parting gesture before walking away will maybe make you feel better, showing that there are no hard feelings. Definitely don't throw money at the problem - you will just end up getting used. 4. Getting clingy. See Chasing - you are unlikely to get close enough to cling and it might come over as stalking behaviour. 5. Begging. Absolutely not!! 6. Waiting around - this needs to be defined better. Yes, don't hang around on the assumption that she will return. However, if you were in love, there is nothing wrong with taking a pause and not jumping into the dating pool too quickly. It can take time to heal. The point that was not mentioned, but is often stated on other sites, is that women hate it when a man ignores them and seems to easily move on. When they realise the guy is over them really quickly, they will often turn right round and start to chase him. What is your take on that Courtney? Any truth in it? It is often a symptom of an "avoidant" attachment style on the part of the woman, the tendency to pull away whenever anyone gets too close. The opposite is the "anxious" attachment style (clingy, needy, etc). They often attract each other and it ends up in a horrible mess of a relationship.

@mobilemcsmarty1466

Жыл бұрын

good point, if the advice is "don't chase" then if ignoring gets you to be chased doesn't that mean you should now run away?

@jleano609

Жыл бұрын

"The point that was not mentioned, but is often stated on other sites, is that women hate it when a man ignores them and seems to easily move on. When they realise the guy is over them really quickly, they will often turn right round and start to chase him. What is your take on that Courtney? Any truth in it?" True - but here's the thing. Assuming you are framing things in terms of a break up after an LTR it doesn't change the fact that whether a mutual thing or she left you, it was for a reason and the short term upset at seeing you do well without her is exactly that - short term. It's just a female ego driven thing. Taking her back still projects low value. She will lose respect for you as it indicates you don't have a BETTER OPTION. Plus your likely back into the same dynamic, but now with more distrust. So don't do it. NO EXES!!!!!!!

@oneofthelastmen5873

Жыл бұрын

@@jleano609 very persuasive reply!

True words Courtney Ryan, As a man lot of mistakes I have made and all 6 mistakes.. I have made in the past. Now, I have improved instead of saying “MY Girlfriend” I never say “My” because I don't own her and she not an object.... I know most people say My but not me.... I want to be difference. Have a nice day Courtney love your nails mate

This video couldn't have come at a better time. Currently going through a situation where some of this applied to me, especially the "don't wait around point" It's a difficult pill to swallow but a reality check that I needed. Thank you Courtney for all of your content and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours :)

This definitely hit the nail on the head. Great and insightful video, thank you 😊

Just acting calm and normal seems like the way to go.

Just let her go. Don’t appear desperate. Respect that she wants to pull away. Say you wish her the best and you are going to move on as well.

@drip369

Жыл бұрын

I've learned to always be one foot in and one foot out, always ready to leave so that when she does something sweet or thoughtful, it is received a lot better than if I had a glaze over my eyes from obsession, thinking she is more than she is because even women don't think too highly of themselves and when a man pedestalizes her, she feels a lot of pressure, and then a lot of doubt...and then self-hatred, and we don't want to do that to people. It is different when you are hiring people to have high expectations because they signed a contract to perform for pay, but to treat people you are meeting out there in public, or even online, with high expectations, that is generally unfair

@Courtney-Alice-Gargani

Жыл бұрын

@@drip369 true

@ericmoore9444

Жыл бұрын

Do women follow those same rules? Bit of a double standard.

@Courtney-Alice-Gargani

Жыл бұрын

@@ericmoore9444 all depends on the woman just like the man.

@ericmoore9444

Жыл бұрын

If you got rejected you could key his car and everyone would cheer you on.

Great points, especially about obsessing and questioning all of your actions and words. Thanks for this video!

Courtney, I saw another comment a few months ago that said this, but it kinda feels right to say it again: You feel like the big sister I never had. Thank you for your work

Thank you Courtney for this video. I plea guilty as charged to everything on this list at one time or another one way or another. I am at a point where I've learned from these mistakes. I'm not going to make them again. I am hoping you can do a video on people like me who want to have a serious, long term relationship. But I never want children. I don't want to get in the way of anyone who does or already has children. It seems like I write off the vast majority of the population when I say this. It makes the difficult search for a relationship that much harder. What is your advice for someone like me?

I never get attached or clingy. If a woman can't show reciprocity in any relationship... cut her off. I literally block her social media, delete her number and continue living my life to try to be the best version of myself. Not everyone is meant to be on your journey, some people are just lessons to be learned. Good luck out there gentlemen. Strive for self excellence. 💪

Its funny how the older generation think it’s giving up too quick when someone pulls away but no. It’s about having respect and valuing yourself. The right person will come into your space and will value your time and effort. Great vid💯

The funny thing is, when an average dude does not put more effort into reaching out, that doesn't mean any woman will sometime come to HIM. In the end he is not clingy and chasing, but still alone. So im sitting here all confident "hah! im not messaging! that would be clingy!" with not hearing a peep from anyone else. Haha. Time to focus on yourself folks.

You definitely reward women off of the 3:2 rule which is very similar to texting where she sends you three you should reply with one or two but the same thing goes for gestures because of course men tend to have more money more resources and more skills which means they could do more for their women than their women can do for them but that doesn't mean women will do much of anything and you want to make sure she will because if she's going to do a lot for you, and she has heart, she will do much for your kids. Remember, women didn't cook and clean just because it was something to do, labor was always physically dominated because we didn't have machines and women wanted to make sure that their children and their husbands didn't get food poisoning so they had to know how to cook, and they also didn't want to draw in rodents and bugs that would bring diseases with them because they didn't want their children or their husbands to die from disease, because if their husbands died they likely would not be able to survive. I know things are different in this day and age but women need to have heart otherwise they will be selfish parents and selfish lovers and nobody will get ahead

@prussiansocietyofamerica

Жыл бұрын

EXACTLY, GREAT COMMENT!

I disagree with Courtney's last statement... 7:14 This is the point of view from someone like her... a good looking, voluptious young woman who is probably used to having a stack of dating applications to go through at any given day if she were putting herself out there as being single and looking. You're own videos have shown that 80% of women aren't even attracted to men. There isn't 3.5 billion women for us to choose from. We're lucky to have 1. This is why a lot of guys are just not trying anymore. The MTGOW movement. It's not that we don't like women. It's that we're not about to waste our time and self respect chasing after a fish that doesn't want to be caught by us. Like YOU said in this video "Don't wait for a lady and waste your day."

I’m going through that right now. She just stopped everything, never said she doesn’t want to talk or she needs space, nothing. She is in her mid 50’s, not as if she is in her 20’s

I'm glad I've come across this channel Courtney. I really enjoy watching your content, as a man who struggles with dating right now, this gives me the right advices to move on and be the better version of myself. Thank you so much and keep up the good work.

Yup. When the rejection is apparent walk away. Go where you are valued

Courtney, congrats on your engagement. As a married man, for 18 years, here's how I handle my wife being annoyed with me and "pulling away": I enjoy the time off. I read a book (I read LOTS of books!), I go for a walk with our daughter, we have fun, and within, say, 4 hours at most (I haven't kept a detailed record), she usually breaks when "the silent treatment" is a reward for me rather than a punishment. Now, if it lasts longer than that, I will go up and have a rational discussion with her, as to what literally happened (without any blaming, etc.) just what I hope is a fair appraisal of what occurred and future best practices which I invite her to engage in. More or less, your advice is on target with (one) caveat (you know I gotta give it) and that is "pursuing" shows that women are not responsible for their actions, which is just how they are, and for men to keep this in mind and keep frame as to what we deserve in response (because women don't owe US anything, do they?) Once a man has slept with a woman, he has the advantage (and few women will admit this.) She cannot hold sex over his him (unless he's exceptionally weak.) So in "pursing" women with the "fish wanting to get caught", it's like you're on a job interview for nookie. Treat it as such. After that, fishermen, life is a lot easier.

@edwardperez7665

9 ай бұрын

An excellent outstanding deduction. Thank you 😂

Outstanding video. At one time or another I’ve made many of those mistakes. Lesson learned.

Something I have noticed here in the comments is a common theme of 'just let her go and move on' as if the second she pulls away the whole thing's over. While y'all are not wrong, a woman pulling away doesn't necessarily mean it's time to move on. If you've ever had someone constantly asking for your attention, then you know it gets exhausting after a while, *even if you enjoy being with that person.* It reaches a point where you have to draw a line and take some time for yourself to recharge so you can come back with the same excitement as before. That's what a woman could be doing when she pulls away from you: just taking time to recharge so she can come back to you with full excitement to be with you. With all of that being said, if you come back a couple of days later and she's still pulling away from you, then definitely let her go and move on. Like I said, y'all are not wrong and Courtney's advice is still valid, but I just encourage y'all to be a little more optimistic when she pulls away. Let me know if you agree or disagree.

Why is life so hard? Or why are people so hard? 😶😢🤕😔 Also, I can relate to some of those signs you mentioned on this list. And honestly, I'm not really sure what to do anymore. All I really want is someone who's not fearful of me, won't reject me and won't friendzoned me right away.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how authentic Courtney is in her videos. 😌🙏🏻

@Introvertedalpha

Жыл бұрын

Agreed!

Thank you, Courtney

If she starts pulling away, don’t even bother texting or calling her. She’s not worth your time. I promise it will just drive you crazy. Don’t even try and figure it out.

It's about finding enjoyment with ourselves first than seeking the right partner. I've been with women who (til' this day), who I can still remember the good times we had together, those women had no problem showing me they was into me. Bottom line is, if she's into ya she'll let you know.

@00AmericanTrash00

Ай бұрын

Until she is not into you and strings you along. One day you wake up and decide you just can't do this any more.

I need to bookmark this! To remind myself to stay strong. It's kinda sad to admit, but many girls unfortunately can get bored easily if you're way too affective, transparent and upfront about your feelings towards them. Even if you're coming from a good place, and trying to be an honest/loving good man (not to be confused with the dreaded "nice guy" label), sadly not everyone, guys and girls, have the maturity of just saying "yes, please" or "no, thank you" and prefer to keep the other person hanging, without realizing it can be torture for the other person. It's kinda sad, but it is what it is... if someone, guy or girl, starts playing those dumb indifference games w/you, you're better backing off and focusing on yourselves kings/queens. Stay strong out there everyone! Another great vid, thanks Courtney, greets from México!

@GoodGuyPlayer2

Жыл бұрын

@@howarddamico1237 Thanks man! That really means a lot to me!

@driver0s228

Жыл бұрын

Being “Way too” anything isn’t a good thing.

@GoodGuyPlayer2

Жыл бұрын

@@driver0s228 Yup, learnt that lesson the rough way.

If she pulls away, let her go. If she wants to be with you, she'll drop everything

Courtney … you are absolutely correct on all points . I made all the mistakes and I survived ! Thanks 🙏

I would try to reach out so when I walk away, I can move on quickly..

She’s not into me , I get it. She don’t want to be pursued. It’s not worth the time to go wrong way

Thank you so much for this, I really needed it. Thank you.

Yess! Thank you Courtney for the wisdom!! I enjoy these videos a lot!

You know something fellows, that clingy, desperate, "gotta have you mentality" is most frightening to all women, period. I'm sure many of us can identify with Courtney's list. I've found myself going back to the drawing board to focus on becoming a better version of myself. Women are complex for a reason. Anyone worth having is worth waiting for; there's no other way to acquire a healthy relationships. For us guys, when we are whole and complete within, we can then bring a strong masculine presence to the table. Women really desire those characteristics within us, because all relationships have challenges.

@limitlesssky3050

Жыл бұрын

You should be happy for yourself and not for other people. She is just an icing on the cake, you are the cake, so she shouldn't be that important that you should change yourself for an imaginary woman.

@Horkruksable

Жыл бұрын

Women are not complex, they are self centered and sleazy.

after I planned some fun things with my ex she started to pull away; broke up with her instantly so that she cant take advantage of all those fun things I put effort in planning. never felt better!!

@THEINFERNOKID

Жыл бұрын

Good shit man, out with the old, in with the new, stay strong king.

I learnt a lot...this just makes me appreciate my masculinity the more.

Pretty much do the opposite of what's emotional and what is logical. Thank you, Courtney, I love watching your videos they are very thoughtful and helpful.

Easy solution: Don't care. Do your own thing. Let them come to you (not saying don't try... just don't put your effort where it isn't wanted). Also, the texting thing confuses me. Like I tend to send messages in groups that I WOULD consider one message put all together. I just think erratically and don't necessarily get it all in one message (do it on Slack at work too).

But what if she's playing hard to get? Man why does it have to be so complicated. I'm gonna become a wizard then.

@a.k.3659

Жыл бұрын

Your profile pic: my face back then when she was playing hard to get and was complicated. 🤣🤣🤣

@danimal2809

Жыл бұрын

they arent playing hard to get, youre just hard to want

Wow. Such positive and motivating words at the end. How many couples have Courtney to thank for helping them get over the past and make a good relationship happen. Really appreciate this woman!

Thanks. I needed to hear this. Very timely

You don’t need a woman to be happy. Plain and simple.

@Ray-ms5vo

Жыл бұрын

It's making more sense to me. It seemed like when I was in my 20s I did all of those you mentioned.

Let them go

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

Yessir!

thank you..feels relieved and i believe this will help me for next date.

I needed to hear a lot of that, thank you!

I don’t think it’s fair to call guys clingy for how they respond to a woman pulling away. She is the one in the wrong. She is the one planting the seed in his head that something is wrong and that she is losing interest. If she doesn’t want him to freak out about it then she should explain what’s going on clearly using words. The suggestion that the guy is the one in the wrong here shows an astonishing lack of maturity, empathy and accountability.

@morganecurtiss951

16 күн бұрын

I believe that not questioning yourself is also proof of immaturity. the video is about the very beginning of a relationship, I believe that a woman still has the right to simply not be interested, or to change her mind.

@MetalCooking666

16 күн бұрын

@@morganecurtiss951 two problems here. Firstly, Courtney specifically said guys *shouldn’t* question themselves over this - see the very first part about “obsessing” when she said guys shouldn’t sit around worry about what they might have done wrong. Secondly, I agree that the woman has the right to change her mind. However, she should communicate this to the guy clearly and explain why. It’s not fair to put the onus on the guy to “question himself” when you could just clearly explain what the problem is.

So let me get this straight. The best way to get a woman to like you or to be attracted to you is to not give a damn about her, or at least pretend to not give a damn about her. That's honestly what I'm reading from all those points.

@comet6740

Жыл бұрын

Not really. Just show you have other options and dont act like she is the only girl for you and need her.

@Jenna1394

Жыл бұрын

No, this isn't about getting her back or making her like you. It's about respecting yourself and reading the signs when a woman just isn't into you.

When not pulling away: look like Richard Gere, big house, big car, terrible funny, gentleman, rich, good cook, muscular, intelligent.😀😀😀😀

Attraction is not negotiable. If she’s not attracted to you no matter what you do she’s not going to suddenly change. Most women know within a few minutes whether she will be with the guy or not.

2

@drip369

Жыл бұрын

🥈

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️

@marcmays48

Жыл бұрын

🥈

3

@drip369

Жыл бұрын

🥉

@CourtneyRyan

Жыл бұрын

❤️

@marcmays48

Жыл бұрын

🥉

I went through a thing which I got over a few years ago. Its nice to be able to show someone some care, and I kinda just accepted that girls don't seem to be interested, for whatever reason. I didn’t wanna deny myself the good feels of showing someone some care/appreciation... so I just did, cause it's nice, and I never expected to get anything back, I wasn't trying to buy or weasel my way in, I just let myself enjoy showing people they were special. I wasn't really doing anything big, or expensive, or ostentatious, I don't think I was creepy about it... I'm usually pretty careful about that. I stopped... I don't do it anymore, I don't remember why, I guess I got the need out of my system, or I just lost the inspiration. I'm not sure of my point... this just made me think about it

Excellent, thanks Courtney!

Don’t be a Stalker move on She’s not interested it’s Not a Job or Career Interview 💯🛣Hit the Road it’s not Personal or Worth it

@xmang8769

Жыл бұрын

Careful Winter is Approaching Don’t Be Unintelligent, Common Sense 💯

99% of the time when women pull away and become distant means thery found someone else or they no longer want to be with you, guaranteed nearly 100% of the time this is the case.

Honestly, the mistakes you mention are symptoms of a deeper issue where the man views the woman from the personal perspective of being incomplete without her. Her pulling away is misinterpreted as a loss to the man, rather than the more optimistic perspective which would be, she cut herself a loss.

Courtney, you are so inspiring! A+ content every video.

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@annabelkatherine6441

Жыл бұрын

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@Scottlampert991

Жыл бұрын

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@Johnclayton28

Жыл бұрын

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@Raymondablack832

Жыл бұрын

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@globalpandemic8450

Жыл бұрын

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Here's another approach to consider. Whatever happened to make her pull away, it's done and she's not coming back. So it doesn't make a damned bit of difference whether you chase her or not. But, for your growth, you need to feel your need and vulnerability, or else you will be it's prisoner for life. So chase that girl like your life depended on it (your emotional life does in fact). And feel every bit of yourself doing this. Bonus: she is now what she always was, a mere prop in your personal voyage into self realization.

Hey Courtney, thanks alot.

Storming off is usually a sign of immaturity. I dated a girl like this. She was of course bi polar. It's always the bi polars isn't it? Anyways we reconnected in our 30's. This tiger hid her stripes very well but never changed them. She'd play games, pick fights and run off. She'd constantly say she admires a man that would "chase" after them. Someone who can fight for what they want. She'd storm off and I'd tell her straight up....I'm a 30 year old man. I am not about to chase after you on foot or in a car. No self respecting adult does that? We've been at dinners where she'd visually start acting weird to where it's like "ffs what did I say now." Then she'd go to the "bathroom" and disapear for 20 minutes. My sister or neice would be like..."you should check up on her. Is she ok" I'd say..."She's grown adult. She's not my child. She can go to the bathroom by herself and if she has a problem she can be mature enough to talk to me later about it. What's she going to do? Walk 30 miles home? Go for it. I don't care. You've got a cell phone call your mommy. It's being a child. Especially when I had no idea what could have set her off. Again, it's a maturity issue. Even if you have a right to be angry you're an adult and should behave like one. Storming off is usually a mind game for women. Courtney is absolutely right when she says that when you chase her it just makes her run faster. They never just stop and be like.."oh my love.... you chased me for 3 miles!! You must really love and care about me after all!" lol