5 Things a Narcissist Hopes for When you go No-Contact
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Chapters
00:00 introduction
00:39 1.They hope that you drown feeling remorse & shame
02:07 2.They hope the smear campaign impacts you severely
03:52 3. They hope you act like nothing has happened
05:24 4. They hope to replace within days after getting you back in their trap
06:46 5. They hope you never Emerge from the suffering they caused
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@danishkhan-gp9mm
3 ай бұрын
Bro kitna help karoge ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@theoracletempleoflovelight2222
3 ай бұрын
How can I make a session with you??? Thanks so much for your time and support, it means alot to realise that I wasn’t the “ crazy person “ but he was a malignant narcissist!
@RebuildingWithClarity
3 ай бұрын
This is my current situation. I cut the narcissist and he's using the excuse he wants to see the kids. I told him I was going to get someone to meet him with them. He refused because he really just wants access to me.
@bethanynoelb
3 ай бұрын
can we just talk about how amahzing your hair looks?!?!😊
@Artistic_vibes1710
2 ай бұрын
I am narcissistic I have low self esteem if someone loves me I feel like I don't.deserve it I always hurt my parents they say I torture them my anger is soo bad I was bullied by school no one ever listened me I was kind of private I hurts people and run away I amke mistakes ran away here is the stroy I was soo needy clingy and said bad things when they are not with me its about my negitive thinking and all tried not to hurt her I m empathc I can't stop myself from helping others if I don't like them but I think too muchi am Reay good or bad I really made many mistakes okay rather than understanding there prospective I harmed myself and blamed them I unable ri make them understand I love them and I used to think they hate me.they really cared for me but I keep on questioning there love I even told them I m toxic and said him later to leave it really painful to loose him I get paink becoz of guilt he is soo caring I never gave him commitment becoz of my negativity anger and I said him once I tell at my home I told my mother I tried to cahnce myself but good people have boundaries too he is kind done with me I akways keep on yelling crying he can't able to share what and how he feels I harmed myself many times I told and called them and many time I didnot told them I should let them go I really did bad to them in anger becoz soo toxic to them I realised with time I was searching why I am acting soo bad to them when they did nothing to me and within months I understood it I hate myself but I used to think I hate myself becoz of them I don't know how to forgive myself and them too
NO CONTACT FOR 107 DAYS NOW! I WILL NEVER GO BACK!
@Quist1852-wt2vj
3 ай бұрын
It's been 11 years for me, so it's possible for you!
@wendydaniel1110
3 ай бұрын
Four years and going strong. No contact period❤
@moorlock2003
3 ай бұрын
Good for you! Keep going.
@BelieveInJesus77774
3 ай бұрын
Well done!
@janbarrett4544
2 ай бұрын
....Seven months.Feels so much better!!!!
One day the light bulb goes on, even if it's taken years and it's then, you let go. Once you know you go
@SelfCareBear
3 ай бұрын
I like that! Once you know you go
@nakitapalmer656
3 ай бұрын
That's me!!!I like that statement also!!!
@dorisblaubucht4438
3 ай бұрын
elainebines: If took me years. (Older sibling situation, not a partner). I remember the light bulb. That went on when after an incident I got blamed for the things this person does herself. I was like: OMG, that's total projection. After this, many puzzle pieces fell into place.
@UrsulaZA
3 ай бұрын
@@dorisblaubucht4438and when those puzzle pieces start to fall into place, my gosh it’s like water off of your shoulders. With so many ah-hah moments.
@tess2361
3 ай бұрын
Wow! Once you know you go - I love that. I think especially after years of mind games and doubting your reality the knowing is so incredibly powerful.
No contact makes them crazy to get victims back.
@JustMe-uu3bh
3 ай бұрын
while they HATE that you called them on their behaviors and that you now know about them, they run like hell to avoid being exposed. there was never any love whatsoever. I can't believe I was sooooooo stupid but I did wake up and finally called him out when he started to try to criticize me like he always did. it was his way of being "superior" - I felt horrible about myself and believed him but when I woke up, I told him that he was dead wrong and he ran like a baby...........but I KNOW he still would love to have me back as his stupid slave. I woke up. thank you God.
@Smw006
3 ай бұрын
Yup, going through thIs now. Being stalked and all that.
@JustMe-uu3bh
3 ай бұрын
@@Smw006 just keep knowing that you are worthy and deserving of all good as you are God's child made in His image and He will help you, you have to change the brainwashing and conditioning. stay strong, you deserve a million times better, know that. say that, repeat that, daily, over and over. God bless you.
@QueenAlexis556
2 ай бұрын
@@JustMe-uu3bhyes. The guy I dated 4 years ago packed up and moved to Dallas from Arkansas without even telling me he was leaving. When I finally tracked him down, his excuse was COVID was preventing him getting a job in Arkansas and maybe he'd have better luck in Texas. What a crock of sh**! And mind you he's still in Texas and contacts me every year around March or April. All he basically wants is sex and I'm totally not interested. Just like you, every time I call him out on his BS he runs like a little cry baby and blocks my number. I've told him time and again I don't want him. I told him 2 weeks ago if he ever shows up at my home or contacts me again I will seek a restraining order. Very verbally abusive and stayed drunk most of the time. He doesn't seem how to take no for an answer, but that restraining order may change that 😉
@QueenAlexis556
2 ай бұрын
Bingo 🎯
I cut the ties of social media years ago. It was because of how undisciplined I was in my desire to find answers. When that ended I began to understand reality. If you give them the ability they will rule over you like a lord in their high castle. Boundaries don't work, talking doesn't work, rationalization doesn't work and accountability is an illusion. You will never get your peace of mind unless you take it yourself.
@eunicetheuri5257
3 ай бұрын
True... this people are evil from hell.2yrs continuing go no contact, I return even the colour of my skin that he stole through his manupilation.
@matikramer9648
3 ай бұрын
🍀
@RevolutionaryThinking
3 ай бұрын
🎉
@nancysayad9960
3 ай бұрын
Yes ...cutting of certain social media platforms involving huge public opinion is a good choice ...instead of it involve in selected platforms where you have genuine support and chances of getting awareness and knowledge and thereby get your peace and progress....It will make difference ...sure 👍
@user-zd4oz1so7p
3 ай бұрын
❤
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
@DilipBansal-br1ve
3 ай бұрын
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
@PamelaA.Pearson
3 ай бұрын
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Vecchi Nese .
@PamelaA.Pearson
3 ай бұрын
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
@PamelaA.Pearson
3 ай бұрын
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
@torbjornnilsen
3 ай бұрын
God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning. Hallelujah🎉🎉🎉♥️
I have no contact with my narcissistic parents since 2017. What I learned is that TIME AND DISTANCE HEALS YOU.
@janbarrett4544
3 ай бұрын
I thank you for your comment.It's been seven months since I've spoken to my mother and brother.It's been hard,but also worth it.
@originalmix2546
2 ай бұрын
indeed!!!!
@moorlock2003
2 ай бұрын
Family members can be the worst. Congratulations on your victory over them.
@helenharrell9821
2 ай бұрын
Congratulations!! Can't wait to separate myself from toxic family members
@melaniewilliams6991
2 ай бұрын
I'm so sorry that it's your parents. I cannot imagine.
22 days and counting. I cut him off completely from all social media.. So hard for me to do. I am taking this process one day at a time. One day I will look back at this and say I survived…
@shaynab1578
3 ай бұрын
Stay strong
@Ray-yh7ng
3 ай бұрын
@marybarrett2002 keep counting days as they give motivation. I still count sometimes 4 months down the road
@judyyates2763
Ай бұрын
Keep it up! Be proud of you❤
Exposure kills him, the devil in disguise
@a.j.walker5729
3 ай бұрын
Yep!
@prophet1782
2 ай бұрын
Exposure is best weapon against them. They are Old Russian Tanks. Exposure is US Javelin Missile .
@lynnrodriguez1484
2 ай бұрын
I did the same thing found out about other women. I exposed him to them, but who knows what he told them they still continue to engage with him
Narcissism made my husband think so low of me. The man I have loved from my youth. I had to work on myself after our divorce. $125,000.00 bimonthly is evident I was so low as he thought. My biggest comeback ever!!!
@joannenembach5819
3 ай бұрын
Now that's the perfect comeback girl 👍✅💯💯💯💯
@sabrinalysa
3 ай бұрын
That's his loss. God brought out the best in you from that. Glory be to Jesus 🙌👏
@sabrinalysa
3 ай бұрын
But then, what do you do to get that much in that period?
@waymaab
3 ай бұрын
I'm staying plugged in on this. I feel this is an opportunity for a major boost. How do you go about this?
@duncancassie7747
3 ай бұрын
It is the digital market
My father got his wish then. My sisters say I'm evil for not seeing him on his deathbed. I know I did the right thing for me. I could see they would continue to punish me for this until I die, so I cut contact. After 67 years I can relax. Thank you for validating my situation. It means alot.
@sinjinmonsoon9055
3 ай бұрын
My narc family didn't even tell me when my dad died. They had to pick the bones clean..😢
@gloriabarrett6476
3 ай бұрын
I didnt go to the narc fathers funeral-but my daughter did- for laughs- and she said there was only one person that wasnt there that needed to be ……… Jerry Springer 😂
@user-df3eo9qx9p
3 ай бұрын
I hope you continue to relax and are enjoying your life as you chose. Sounds like you are finally free and that's okay.
@August_2456
3 ай бұрын
@@gloriabarrett6476😂😂😂😂
@JustMe-uu3bh
3 ай бұрын
very happy for you. very. good for you ~
No contact means peace! Really it means peace. You can´t change such a person and you have to realize that is simple senseless. Those people have a personality disorder and if they don´t want to change themselves nobody can do anything. The best is to step out (either you or them it is the best for your sanity and health).
When I finally got out of His episode of the Twilight Zone and went no contact, I knew I had a lot of work ahead of me in order to heal. So if I caught myself ruminating about him, I would STOP and switch channels as I knew I was still allowing his twisted sense of power to affect me. By diligently practicing this process is when I got to the point that I truly began to heal. Thank you, Danish.
I think you are spot on! They will go to great lengths to ruin your reputation by whatever devious means they can use. All is to destroy you. They have no remorse.
#3 Wanting you to act as if nothing happened. If you try to bring up the situation in an effort to gain resolution, they say "that's in the past" or "stop bringing up old stuff."
@michelebazinet9003
3 ай бұрын
Absolutely right ! .mine told me this twice tonight when I told him that he had never repaired anything on my car.( however, I toldhimthathehad repairedotherpeople's carsthough.....). this is all he could answer
@derekazyan9942
Ай бұрын
They always do this….
@judyyates2763
Ай бұрын
The irony is that they bring up the past!
My narcissist is my husband, I can't/wish I could leave, can't afford it right now. I treat him like an annoying roommate.
@sinjinmonsoon9055
3 ай бұрын
Me too..I feel so sorry for both of us. Trapped. I wish daily he'd leave or die. That's not the person I am 😢 . I wish you luck and remember you're not alone. Xo
@deannamartinez7233
3 ай бұрын
I know how you both feel, Please, if you want out GOD WiLL Help you and Protect and Provide for you. If you’re not saved- get Saved now… And Let HIM handle them, don’t wish harm or death on anyone…ect John 3:16 KJV❤ Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV ❤ 🙌✝️ I Hope this Helps and gives you The Peace you Need!! If Our Father Help me HE can Truly Help ALL of Us!! Have a Blessed Weekend!! Hugging you both, tight right now😊🤗🤗❤❤
@yokaineko920
3 ай бұрын
Me too. I can’t leave him now but one day I sure will. Stay strong
@mrs.v5962
3 ай бұрын
Me too. Hope I can find a way to leave safely and peacefully.
@deannamartinez7233
3 ай бұрын
@@yokaineko920 💪🙌❤️✝️🤗
Danish is correct on every single point. I believe he's the best advisor on this subject because he has suffered at the hands of a narcissist himself. He not only suffered but he survived and thrived and is now helping others. It's difficult to heal but you can do it. It takes a lot of time and inner strength to sort out the damage to your mind. Be kind to yourself, love yourself.... you are worthy of happiness. Don't waste your life on someone that makes you sad and leaves you exhausted. Life will get better when you don't let toxic people manipulate you.
@sujataganguly2497
3 ай бұрын
😊
@anujasingh7178
3 ай бұрын
@kaycampbell..going to take a screenshot of your reply and read it everyday.. thanks so much 💖
As a woman who was actually sexvally abvsed by him, I think he really hopes that I don't talk about it to anyone else. He even still tries to control me from the distance because when one of my family members are in hospital or something alike, he always sends nice _get well soon_ messages to them. And he never blocked me on social media and has faaake accounts. I think he wants to keep himself safe forever. 🙄 Thank God, I found your really helpful channel to heal with you and your audience. Thank y'all very much & stay safe, people❣️🙏
Yess!!! They feel angry thinking that we have hurt and shamed them
Anyone else notice how... when a narcissist hates you... you can actually feel their hatred for you when they enter the room or when they're within maybe 10 or 20 feet of you? I can't quite explain if it's an energy of hatred or if it's a physical force field of some kind, or it's their glaring eyes burning through the back of your head. Even though I can't properly describe it, I'm sure it exists and it's intense.
@samscarletta7433
2 ай бұрын
I know exactly what you are talking about. 🥴
@Teens24
2 ай бұрын
Yep totally
Most important for this sick persons is having control and power if they loose that it is end of the game ,they use children ,friends ,religion to get that power back
@dwlsn93
3 ай бұрын
Religion - very good point! Mine left, went through a few “supplies” & apparently realizing each supply was less & less “valuable” - chose the endless supply of church ⛪️. Church meetings, church gatherings, activities, classes, committees…
My experience with narcissists is that they are abusive and unpredictable. I didn't know what a narcissist was until about 4yrs ago on some websites that was for domestic violence survivers. Since then I listened to some video's on youtube that were helpful. I couldn't get the information fast enough so I suffered alot from what I didn't know about narcissists. Their abuse caused terrible trust problems.I can't say I am not helped by these videos that helped me recognize their behaviors. They also helped me get away from narcissistic abuse. I still feel the damages it caused.I am still healing from gaslighting to the ijuries they caused. Thank you for your insightive and informative videos ❤
A narcissistic guy tried to manipulate me. I acted weak and he was so happy thinking he is in control. I suddenly discarded him and he is going crazy. He tries The smear campaign. Hoping I will be isolated. Little does he know I am sigma male. I thrive in "alone time". I don't like many people around me, I don't expect anything from anyone and I don't care what others think about me. Such people don't know me. The few Who know me don't even give the narcissist a chance to get near them
@sll110
3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
No contact 270 days and I remain unbothered!
The smear campaign did impact me. Behind the scenes the covert narcissist daughter contacted all the people she thought I cared about. But if they believed it, they were not my friends. She stayed with Engineer friend ruining the friendship She called and texted all crazy conversation to a weathy sister I loved. They avoid me like the plague now. And all the people she thought I cared about or advance my career. Those that walked away. No problem. They were not true friends. When you walk away from a narcissist you walk away from everything and all their enablers. You level up 100 percent from any and all toxic
why else do they spend so much time trying to put you down? pure jealousy. spreading gossipy untrue rumors to whoever will listen to them? because they can't hold a candle to your goodness and they hate it. hate it. darkness hates the Light, remember that. heal your Self so you can be free forever. God will help you but you also have to do your part. God bless you...........thanks Danish.
@racebannon96
3 ай бұрын
Envious/jealousy can be a strong motivating reason for someone to be hateful towards you. Dont look back and move on.
@clintonnagy1662
3 ай бұрын
Before we broke up she would smear campaign my business with her work colleges... then 2 weeks after the break up she was on a date with her ex boyfriend at a local concert. After 18 months of being in an intense relationship with her, I see this is how she is. I'm so hurt, and disgusted.
Yes once you know you go…. Your life is worth it ❤
When I cut ties wit a narcissist he started to find others to replace me that he could talk mess to about me , I cut him off because I was tired of him asking for money all the time , I didn’t mind that he was full of drama because his stories were kinda funny and entertaining but honestly but in the end all he was was a drama king , he even at some point wanted to move in wit me and told me he’d help pay rent but I told him how could he help me pay rent if he’s always asking me for money lol what he gonna do pay rent with the money I give him ?????? I do kinda miss him but I’m glad I cut him off cuz he was super toxic .
@christinalw19
3 ай бұрын
Ay Yi Yi. 🙄🙏🏼🫣
@racebannon96
3 ай бұрын
I had a roommate from college like that. It did not end well. Getting away from him was one of my better decisions. He was self-destructive.
@Liz-wz8dh
3 ай бұрын
I actually think it's great when they find someone to replace us. I just wish it would last forever.
7:01 They hope you'll never find anybody else, they feel they're the best. Narc, "You'll never find another " Me, " ...and you'll never find another "
@judyyates2763
Ай бұрын
Yes! Thank God. We will never find another them! ❤
It's been 14 months since I discarded her and went no contact...I AM HEALING💫
I just realized I have gone 16.5 years without looking at my narcissistic ex-wife's social media accounts. Not even once have I even thought to look at them. Same for my narcissistic ex-daughter who abandoned me the final time 3.5 years ago. Not even once have I looked at any of her social media stuff either. I should get a trophy or something. I should get the "Danish Student of the Year" award. 😅
@jacquelineglitter4328
3 ай бұрын
I blocked my X and he keeps trying to get in contact after 20 years of divorcing him. I used to have to have contact when my son was a minor but no more. My son doesn't even want anything to do with him anymore.
My husbands smear campaign back fired they were like hes playing the victim and its gross
THEY ARE VERY VERY DRAINING, THE BEST IS YET TO COME, FOR ME AMEN
I stopped talking to the narcissist. Silence for a long time. Months later, I found out she had unfriended me on Facebook. And for a few reasons, I knew she just did it recently. Why did she have to go look for my page (which I barely use, like changing avatar once a year, that’s it), and unfriend me, while we were not talking at all for months? I realized she was mad and affected by the silence treatment from me more than I knew. I can’t help but feel victorious 😄😆
I’m so glad I clicked on this. I’m having lunch with my soon to be ex husband tomorrow to discuss our 4 children and I’m feeling like I need him to feel whole. Married for 29 years. I can’t even listen to music anymore. That man has robbed me of so much.
All the points you mentioned here, I had to go through all of that. But not anymore as I have decided not to bring myself down for those who didn't deserve me, for those who devalue me for who I am, those who gave me the least respect, who chose me only as an option for them to put their anger on, who gave me no choice of myself, my dress, my likes and dislikes, my passion, no love, no care even though i had to offer him everything he didn't do for me
another thing they hope for is that you will return with hat in hand and, from that moment foreword, accept any and all abuse witrhought complaint. in addition, they will double down on the abuse to punish you for leaving in the first place. this is them reasserting their dominance and further challenging you to suck it up.
@kaja231
3 ай бұрын
How many such demons are there??? They are all the same!
@TinLizzy1
3 ай бұрын
Exactly
Wow, this is so right on. I am going No Contact with one of my closest friends, and my parents. They are all ruining my reputation, but I refuse to go back to their misery.
You are amazing Danish!! I kinda want to laugh because the one about replacing you, me,lol. My daughter actually told me that. I guess of the matriarch of the family. She even told me she thought she would be able to handle my death ( I'm 58 ). And I should get all my paperwork together for that reason. She is my only child. Jesus has me 100%. And all the horrible stress and evil things she has done are over. And I have to thank you so very much for helping me return to a somewhat normal life. Not only children are resilient. We can be too. I do miss my granddaughters but I have given them to God. Everything is in His hands. He directed me to you, Danish as well. Many blessings.🙏🙏🙏
@Child_of_God320
3 ай бұрын
Amen 🙌
@terrydyer2490
3 ай бұрын
I also have a evil narcissist daughter.. Her actions stressed out my husband, her father so bad that it killed him from a broken heart. She has my oldest grandson that we raised from birth to 6 years old. It's killing me not being able to be in his life.
@annanderson1470
3 ай бұрын
@@terrydyer2490 I know the pain of your grandson because my oldest granddaughter, 8, has spent every weekend with me since she was 3 and went to church with me. We've had a connection since birth. She knows how her mother is and loves me anyway. As does the 4 year old. The little 8 month old will miss out on all the love in the world. I'm so sorry for your husband. This is a very real and dangerous person. After years of endlessly helping my daughter, and not with money as much as with running errands all the time and the most precious was spending all my love and time with my granddaughters she got an extra car. And told me she didn't need me anymore. Her and my son-in-law refused to let me see them babies. It's been over a year and yes she has come back into my life with all the upheaval and madness so I don't see them but maybe once a month. It's better this way. In the best interest of the children they don't have to hear the hatred and insults. I will pray for you and I mean that when I say that. My daughter learned it from her father and I never knew that it had a name. Sweet soul we will survive even with a big part of our hearts missing. Peace and Blessings 🙏🙏🙏
@annanderson1470
3 ай бұрын
@@terrydyer2490 I'm going to try this again 🤣 I guess I didn't hit the send button. LoL. My heart goes out to you sweet soul because you are a testimony to just how far the abuse of a narcissist can be. I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband. Words cannot express what that did to you. As for your grandson I can relate to that and very much so. My oldest granddaughter, 8, was my sunshine. From birth we had a special connection that even my daughter hated. From the age of 3 she started spending every weekend with me and going to church with me. She never wanted to leave. She's bright and knew how badly her own mom treated me. I don't have much money so all I can give is time and love and that's what I did. My second granddaughter is almost 4 and full of love and sunshine and just loves me and could also feel the hatred her mom spewed at me. Those two will love me regardless of what my daughter says and so will your grandson. He knows love! My brand new granddaughter 7-8 months not so much. I spent so much time helping run errands and just being there. Then out of the blue my daughter text me and said she hated me and didn't need me anymore and sent me a picture of their new car. That's been over a year ago. My son-in-law and daughter used to team up on me. So in the best interest of the girls I just gave them to God 🙏. They didn't need to hear the hate. Well, it's been over a year and she has tried to get back in my life. But she'll never change unless she realizes what she is. I see them babies about once a month. But that's it. Maybe a text here and there but I cannot live that way anymore. God doesn't want us to. I will be praying for you. And I will do it!! May God bless you beyond words and give you wisdom and knowledge. May your pain subside. Peace and Blessings sweet friend 🙏🙏🙏💖😊🌞
Damn, I'm so glad that I was able to cut her off. I realized pretty quick what was going on after she started to play always the victim, ignoring my boundaries, guilt tripping, twisting my words, trying to blame and shame me for little things and so on. So I decided to end the friendship and go no contact with her and now I feel better. It's like weights off my shoulders. Knowing that she's feeling miserable now kinda gives me chills after she treated me like shit and didn't listened to me when I tried to communicate my feelings. Also I'm pretty fine whether I'm the bad person in her eyes or not. I'm free now.
Thank goodness i never told him where I live or who my family and friends are though he tried his hardest to find out. No smear campaign on me😊🇬🇧
After 30 yrs of mental abuse...divorced but now dealing with parental alienation
The greatest revenge I took against every single narcissist family member - was healing myself all the way into their 100% completely absolute irrelevance and non-existence inside of my entire being. My greatest success and accomplishment ever in my life, was breaking every single toxic and poisonous tether that kept me inside of their reach. There isn’t one thing they could say or do to me, that will get a single reaction, response or change in my demeanor. They have absolutely NO power or control over me, my thoughts, my strength, power or control. I’ve healed every single one of the raw and open wounds I’ve suffered from for so long as a result of their worse acts of abuse, bullying, threats, violations, harassment, oppression, torture, torment, etc. My current tensile strength is 100 times stronger than their maximum evil and depraved hatred is capable of conjuring up as punishment for me. All I have to tell them now when they dare make attempts to reach out to me - Bring it on, I am ready for you this time. It’s such a powerful feeling knowing my strength is far greater than their worse then they’re worth possible act. They are pure evil personified in human form. Thank you for this lesson 🙏♥️
It was the changing emotions that me giggle. First with tears and saying I was wrong then anger saying it was my loss that I lost a great friend of 20 years.
Weapons of Narc Destruction: WND#1 I asked her to leave my home. (tried to work things but, when she visited she flew into a massive rage fit, so.... WND#2 I dropped her off at the train station, let her say goodbye to the dogs home and cut her phone line (I was ...done... after the violent rage fit... but she tried to hoover) WND#3 I rejected her hoover and blocked her everywhere. She sent a flying monkey... WND#4 I rejected the flying monkey I hope to never hear from her again.
@judyyates2763
Ай бұрын
I don't like the part " I let her say bye" and that you cut her phone line. My ex was controlling, and he was always threatening to take my phone.
@gangGreenthumb
Ай бұрын
@@judyyates2763 I wasn't bragging. I didn't like that part either- I would have turned the world upside down to avoid it. It was a matter of surviving a toxic relationship with a narcissistic person who manipulated me for 11 years. Self preservation. I gave her the closure that she never gave to me. I wasn't controlling... she was and a serial cheater. She did it to herself, I simply realized there was nothing more I could do to hold on.
@gangGreenthumb
Ай бұрын
@@judyyates2763 My first reply was a little defensive, but very much true. I'm sorry for what your ex put you through. We've been through different circumstances, but experienced similar pain. I hope your doing better now.
@judyyates2763
Ай бұрын
@gangGreenthumb I am much better. I hope the best for you! I meant no judgment. I just understand more about the power that people abuse. Sometimes, that can take the form of revenge. No matter what someone has done to you, it's never worth changing you. They get what they desire if they make you bitter. They're miserable souls.
@gangGreenthumb
Ай бұрын
@@judyyates2763 Agreed. I have moments of coldness and revenge, which is probably how I felt when in the moment I wrote the post above. This is not who I am. When karma finally hit the narc, I felt honest empathy. I didn't want her to hurt or suffer, I felt pity. So she was sad for a week, and came back with her "I'm the greatest person in the world that ever lived" attitude and my empathy faded again. Ebb and flow. LOL. I do pity her, but also she tried her hardest to destroy me and she almost succeeded.
My own mother is a narcissist. I am not able to return to my hometown ever again, bec she turned literally everyone against me. May it be neighbours, my doctors, my colleagues, my friends, even her friends. Do not forget my husband and in-laws. If it was upto her, I would be sitting somewhere alone, divorced. Or I would be just her grateful slave/lifepartner substitute and money-making machine. But thank GOD my hubby and in-laws did not believer her crap. They even turned all against her and stood by my side ❤
Divorcing my narcassist, but his causing War during this divorce. Wants to win, so true. He is sick the bastard.
Has zero chance of ever getting me back no trauma bond here. 😊🇬🇧
@john1198
2 ай бұрын
Me too . No contact60 days . No trauma bond
Thank you. This will definitely help a lot of us.
Dr Bashir your videos have been a huge help for me, thank you. Number 2 in this video was a problem for me. I worked with a covert narcissist at a job I once had. This woman would stare at me at work. I wouldn’t pay attention to it because where I live women would stare at you thinking you would come running to them like a lost puppy. Some would just go about their business and leave you alone if you didn’t pay attention to them. This narcissistic wouldn’t settle for that. She started meeting me in different parts of the building making sure it was just me and her alone at these times. I knew she was a narcissist by watching her behavior and the way she would talk to people. When she finally figured out I wouldn’t give her the time of day she started her smear campaign on me. She would tell others I was a jerk but in different terms. When that didn’t work she started telling people I was gay, a well used tactic by some women around here when you ignore them. What the narcissist didn’t know is some people I knew there would come and tell me what she had been saying. She thought some there was closer friends to her than me. She was wrong, lol. I left that job only telling who I needed to tell. Later when I seen a few of the people that used to work with they told me what happened when I left. She asked what happened to me and they told her I quit. They told me she was madder than a hornets nest and said, I was a jerk for not telling her and she would get back at me. I’m so glad I left when I did and didn’t tell anyone. She would have made my life a living hell by staying there. Instead I had the last laugh by leaving and not telling her and hearing how upset she got. 🤣
But my narcissist doesn't post any things on social media.. He keeps his things in private.. But danish all you explained is absolutely correct
#3 is my mother. After years, she called out the blue using her "nice" voice. By then I was so far removed that she could feel it. She did her "nice" routine. I didn't play along. I told her bye and hung up, not giving her a chance to become herself. I'll never speak to her again. I never heard "hoovering" described but I instinctively knew what she was doing. Thank you for explaining that I wasn't crazy. 😢
He was a snake waiting in the grass. He told his gamily he didnt want me so when i finally walked away i was a monster and he spread such awful lies about me. This nutcase is now trying to bring flowers and get my attention. No thanks
Yes i got rid of him he stole my money a substantial amount right under my nose and completely denied it. I called him out 7 weeks now since i went no contact.
O my God this is my life story right now my narc husband divorce me after 19 years..now this time struggling but i believe my Almighty Allah every thing will be fine ameen
Man you’re cooking! I’m currently going through this right now with my wife unfortunately
Thank you, Danish… I share share, share your videos and post them. God bless you. You are a help to many. From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA
I was patient. But was so emotional abused that I ended up becoming the monster in my outbursts. How long can one stay patient. But once the outburst happened from my side- even that was used against me. There is no victory against a narcissist. Letting go is the only way. We come out dirty and hurt eitherways.
My covert narcissist mom is currently hovering. But I don’t forget.
Thank you Danny, each day with your video, I get healing bcos of its practical experience I had with him, thank God my kids rescued me and dumped him, no contact works well
You have verbalized what I was not able to. What an eye opening relief. Thank you
I've put up with outrageous comments from quite a few friends who I removed myself from eventually because of all their bad and outrageous comments. Your commentary has helped me understand why one of them carried on as if we were still friends AFTER we had agreed to go our separate ways at my request.
I went no contact no contact with my narcisist. It must work this time.
Oh, so they being nice so they can DISCARD?!?!?!! Thanks for the tip-off...❤❤....
My God, that is how I felt when I kicked him out after 43 years of torture not knowing what a narcissist was. I couldn't figure out why I felt guilty after he cheated on me with a patient and lost his medical license and I divorced him. It's a relief to no longer feel guilty about anything I do!
Your video is really Helpful for me
My narcissistic sibling (we are both 50+ of age) wrote her own twisted story about me to a third party. A total smear campaign, the contents being a product of her own imagination, guided by her envy. I've allowed her contacting me only on family/inheritance matters. This smear episode was just around 2 weeks ago. What she wrote was so untrue and aimed to ruin my reputation that she'd deserve to be charged with defamation. The family financial matters were finally brought to an end yesterday. She wrote to me that I'm "such an important person in her life" that she would like to stay in touch with me. Now, she understands that I felt offended by her behavior. (Which has been going on for several years now, but she very probably only thinks about the a.m. incident). She's been controlling the narrative for decades. She got mad that her adult daughter (30+) once paid me a visit without her being around. I know why. We finally got to talk alone and she opened up about their past. This is exactly what my sibling was afraid of. Somebody opening up about her behavior, not covering up. I know that she will never change unless she takes her kids' advice and really goes into therapy. She was a bully when I was kid and she stayed a bully. I was never strong enough to set her boundaries. My mom was an aggressive person, so what I had learned was to shut up and ignore whatever happened. My sibling knew I'd never attack her in any way. Not verbally, not physically. I'm thinking of writing to her + her kids, telling the true side of a few past incidents. Don't know if it's wise. That will cause rage and she will again seek revenge. I'm not willing to be her punching bag and emotional toilet. It was always about her. Did she ever think how her behavior affected me? No. How my stomach was upside-down and how many nights I couldn't sleep because of her? No. Maybe I will drop a few lines to all of them and then block my phone and e-mail. If she never cared, why should I??
@redybeau
3 ай бұрын
Keep your relationships with her children and go gray rock with her… It is the only way to deal with a narcissist. And it will really piss her off.
@michelebazinet9003
3 ай бұрын
My sister was also a bully and treated me like shit. I was very young and have always been à sensitive person since childhood. My sister took advantage of my empathic personality until late in age. She's un her 60s now and I don't talk to her since a few years back. Her building nature has always stayed with me... I dont know if she has remorse about how she treated me back then but I have a feeling that it must come to her mind sometimes but not too often.. Now, I'm in a narc relationship which I find extremely difficult to come out of, since I still love him.... but I am very aware of the saddening effects it has on me...
@dorisblaubucht4438
3 ай бұрын
@@michelebazinet9003 I wish you luck. I'm in my 60's as is my sister. Older age... When I understood my sister's narcissism, I have also understood, how narcissistic my husband actually is. Any kind of criticism drives him mad. When we got together, I left more and more of my friends behind. The problem is, I have an academic background, and he doesn't. (It doesn't matter to me at all, I know enough smart people without a degree!!). I'm not saying, my husband is a total narcissist, but he does have some issues with self-esteem, so he turns into this loud and overbearing person at times. Did I ignore red flags years ago? Yes.
@michelebazinet9003
3 ай бұрын
@@dorisblaubucht4438 Oh my goodness Doris. My narc boyfriend also has no degree and I do. Am a 59 yr old retired school teacher. He is also a loud ' character '. I totally relate to you,,Doris. Your story sounds the same as mine...
@dorisblaubucht4438
3 ай бұрын
@@michelebazinet9003 OMG... We really have similar stories - and are of similar age too!
I have learned so much from you. Thank you. Because of this . I have truely been able to move on . Knowledge is power.
@AS-gf5jn
3 ай бұрын
Yeah why be with these parasites
Yes! I have used that word: "monster." They're like Dr. Frankenstein. They create a monster for the system. Pity the monster (scapegoat).
all true, im thankful for this information. it helps us and others after us, thank you Danish
I agree I have a partner had a partner now and he sounds exactly like that. He has some serious issues. He’s always right never wrong and they put you down. Does talk about me and he wants me to talk about him. You are right he’s a control person, thank you, Jenny.
Thank you so much ❤ you are helping so many people to heal faster in their healing journey and I am also healing ❤
Thank you!I watched one of ur videos.Felt like healing on the spot.took me 4years,survived.Now healing thanks to the things I need to hear is now herd.❤
Yes it’s true I went no contact he went silent on me for no reason and I saw he was on vacation with someone else he would always post the dinner and the food but not the person he was with so I knew it was another supply. When I asked him about it he just changed the subject and said I was drama. I told him how I felt and told him I am removing myself and will be deleting his number. I went silent on him he hit me up right after saying he was going to give me space than a hour later he hit me up again trying to be nice like if he’s scared he’s going to lose me as his supply. I never responded I feel like I said what I had to say it feel good to move on. He does music and someone said he just posted a song about me yesterday saying how he wished he never met me I guess me going silent made him very angry to make a song about me smh.
@nickibanks5185
3 ай бұрын
What is it about narcissists & posting pics of their food all the time? 🤨😒
@domolincoln9905
3 ай бұрын
@@nickibanks5185 I have no clue maybe it’s to show their living a lavish life style. Many therapist say they love social media and like to put on a show for social media 🤷🏻♀️
@michelebazinet9003
3 ай бұрын
Again, he's trying to manipulate you, I'm afraid, dear . I know what I'm talking about, believe me...
@domolincoln9905
3 ай бұрын
@@michelebazinet9003 he’s not manipulating me I’m smarter than that which is why I said I went “No Contact”. Going no contact is how you defeat the narcissist I moved on with my life I haven’t spoken to him in a long time so idk what you are talking about. This is a old story so he’s not manipulating anyone this story happened 2 years ago.
@domolincoln9905
3 ай бұрын
@@michelebazinet9003 he’s not manipulating me I’m started than which is why I said I went “No Contact”. Going no contact is how you defeat the narcissist I moved on with my life I haven’t spoken to him in a long time so idk what you are talking about. This is a old story so he’s not manipulating anyone this was 2 years ago.
It makes me sick hearing what you say is so true.
I went no contact with my oldest narcisist brother a year ago when my mom went ill ( dementia), hes taking care of her, hes been campaigning against me cause i hurt him telling him off, now my flying monkeys brothers and family members think that i dont love my mom, that is the smear campaigne against me.
Thank you Danish. You've really helped me change my life.
Dear mister Bashir , the more I watch your (and other's) videos about Narcissits Perverts , I see SO clearly that my father is one ! NOT his fault , but just the way it is . He fooled everybody ; including himself ! Thank you for this , I'm 57 and 30 years ago I payed myself 6 years of psychotherapy . But I never knew what ailed HIM , and I recognise all his symptoms !
It's in the 30th year of no contact with my former narcissistic spouse. When I cut contact I told her to contact her attorney, the attorney will contact me...I will think about it then call her attorney and her attorney will then divery my response! Everytime the former spouse tried to phone, I asked WHO IS THIS, then I would repeat the chain of communication then slam the phone down...this happened about a dozen times before I relocated a 1000 miles away & changed my number! This is the only way to live with her! After ther separation when she insisted on me continuing to take her to dinner etc., I told her to go get a boyfriend because I will no longer be HER YO-YO!
100 % Correct. !! I'm from a narc family . Went thru it all. All 100% correct . Thanks Danish .
Idea for a video: Narcissists and social media.
Again, many many thanks for your words
This confirmation, thank you, number 2 is my reality. I believe God will expose the truth, and if not, my mindset is that this life is temporary and the place God is preparing for His children is peace, filled with love, kindness, gentleness, self-control, patience, lacking nothing good and to never recall the pain experienced in this life.
Thank you for making things so clear to us. You must have suffered a lot, Danish.
I always feel validated when I watch your videos. You have such and excellent way of giving the examples and then telling the why making it all make sense. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤
I was lucky mine went to prison and with a no contact order in place he would have had time added if he had tried to contact me .... They only thing he tried to do was have his cousin contact me asking not to press charges ....but he tried to kill me so no that wasn't an option
You said somehow they always know. That is the part I resonate with most, I am back home under the radar (it’s been a year) and I just had a panic attack cause someone said they thought they heard someone outside. I’ve been trying to get away from a NPD human for years and he always finds me. I’m trying hard to hide while I’m here but I know that somehow he always knows no matter how careful I am… thank you for these videos.
When we fled and went no contact with my mom and her boyfriend, I still worried she was a victim too. It took time to see she was a narcissist too. She was hopeful I would feel shame abandoning her and tried to make me feel bad for her. I did not. I don't know what kind of smear campaign she is doing but I know she won't admit what they did to us. The two times she's tried to contact me it was like she tried to pretend none of it happened and that told me I was right both times to not connect again. I used to say I'd never reconnect as long as she was with her narcissistic boyfriend but honestly I don't want to reconnect at all. I cannot live with that stress on me again. I hope they are suffering because we are free and happy.
Thank You Danish !! I've decided I do not care what the Group of Narcissist think about me....they can go find someone else. Danish can you do a Video on how Adult Narcissistic children abuse a Senior Parent and what we should do to protect ourselves. Thank you !
It’s funny this video came up in my feed right after one from a mom (an “Estranged Adult Children” video) expressing all of these emotions because her “selfish, narcissistic” children went NC. So, you are 100% spot on with this.
My mom is the narcissist. I was the scapegoat. Several years ago, over text, I'd set a small boundary. To stop texting me bible quotes. They seemed sanctimonious at best coming from her. She blew up of course. Told me I was being downright unfriendly. And then said she would not talk to me any more. I actually heard a single note from a holy choir at that moment. In the past several years she's told the family that 'I' am the one who doesnt' talk to her, that 'I'm' the one who doesn't tell her anything, for the sympathy of course. I haven't seen here in more than five years. And I know the next time I do, it's going to blow up. And a lot of things will be said.
My narcisist boyfriend of 5 years put me in prison for controlling and coercive behaviour . I just realised too late he lied to me from the beginning of our relationship and he is evil and cruel
This is the bestest episode with a lot of insights for the survivors.. thank you so much Danish..you are a blessing.. keep up the wonderful service..more power to you
My narc roommate does exactly these things. she pretends to cry in front of her bf to get him back and then compares him to nothing. i sometimes want to shake her and ask why do you do these things? but to no avail , i know she is just going to do it again on someone else. i cant wait to get a new room!
My X went behind my back and tried to get information about me. My X wasn't entitled to my financial and estate. So my best friend shut her down. My X and I wasn't married. Thank God.
He never loved me because he left me... EVERYTHING that went wrong in our relationship was my fault. He called me "evil upstairs" and even berated my family. Yet, here I am still missing him after he discarded me a month ago. What is wrong with me ?😢
Thanks Dr, my ex is calling me the narcissist when he is the one who wrote a whole book about me being an evil wife. I left him and never looked back, blocked him on socials and out of my life. Got a restraining order and found peace 😂😂😂
Damn. Much needed. Much much much needed awaren.
Unknowingly he is still in my thoughts I physically and emotionally have let go of him but he's been unknowingly living in my mind rent free where I have never even taken a little spot in his I say this because although I am emotionally and physically detached from him Im still holding on to the fear I have the fear of his reaction to something I say or don't say fear of something I do or don't do I'm still tiptoeing with fear therefore I have to let go and start thinking and doing things differently Why is it that I didn't know I was still attached to him by fear
Thank you, Danish You've answered my question, one unspoken aloud question : how do they know when we at our weakest point - they have predator's intuition