Truth is nothing will work if he's not into you.

@dr.jenniferma3914

Жыл бұрын

And... if he's that into you, it'll be hard to fuck it up.

@fuzakali9083

Жыл бұрын

And if he is not into you. Why should you be into him? Stop being a masochist and love yourself first!

@rajeeviarul5468

Жыл бұрын

@@dr.jenniferma3914 p

@javireyes7333

11 ай бұрын

@@fuzakali9083well sometimes you meet someone you really like, even if they don’t reciprocate

@Shilpa_z

4 ай бұрын

Yupp

Now that I’m 25, I recognize when a man is testing. I truly don’t care about “passing.” I simply stay true to myself, and remain unattached. It’s a lot of mental work to fully embrace being unattached from potential partners, but finalllly I’m able to do it and it’s made dating so much easier.

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, as long as you aren't a walking red flag and you continue to grow and develop yourself, I wouldn't get caught up in tests.

@hajarf1071

Жыл бұрын

@Frenchie_at_Heart may I ask you what mindset you create for yourself to stay unattached? It seems I do well at beginning than somehow I start to get attached I don’t act upon it just between me and myself- but maybe men sense that!

@ladyofspa

11 ай бұрын

Good woman. It's about having a beautiful relationship with yourself they are a byproduct. Focus on yourself and how you feel, opportunity to overcome

@SolveigSkagemark

7 ай бұрын

A

@Shilpa_z

4 ай бұрын

Amazing, me too❤

If a man is immediately testing you and not able to communicate well, he is not high value, drop him and move on to someone who is a mature adult.

@TheEternalPheonix

Жыл бұрын

Don’t confuse testing with playing games. They are absolutely not the same thing. Testing is an efficient way to sort the chaff from the wheat, so to speak. Playing games is a quick way to assert that you are the chaff.

@CherieSores

6 ай бұрын

Yes

@ashton1952

5 ай бұрын

Depends entirely on the context. Some things are just not going to come out in a conversation, and that goes for both.

@Yusheesan

5 ай бұрын

@@TheEternalPheonix Testing is playing games. If you need the other person going through mental gymnastics to see if they check specific boxes, you can FO.

@TheEternalPheonix

5 ай бұрын

@@Yusheesan Testing doesn’t involve the other person going through mental gymnastics. This is the difference I’m talking about. Playing games is making the other person go through mental gymnastics to figure out how to “win”. Testing is for making sure that you’re not making a horrible mistake.

*Test 1* : He pulls away Fail: Freak out, chase, get angry, attack him, act passive-aggressive etc. Succeeed: give him some space, invite him to come back to you and make him work to get you back *Test 2* : Pushes your boundaries Fail: allow him to push past your boundaries and walk all over you Succeed: set boundaries and keep to them (e.g. a "soft no" / "not yet" when he's pushing for physical intimacy too soon) *Test 3* : Sets up a date and waits to talk to you on the day Fail: freak out, chase him/ send lots of messages, get angry, cancel at the last min. Succeed: Wait until the day to check in with him: "Are we still on?", if so, calmly turn up to the date. If not, don't go. *Test 4* : Are you on his side? Fail: trying to change him, teaming up against him with others, fighting/ making him look bad in front of family and friends, making fun of him or who he is / his dreams leaving him at parties Suceed: supporting and encouraging him in his dreams and goals, accepting him as he is, talking him up in front of friends and family, being his cheerleader when he needs it *Test 5* : How you act in a situation that challenges you ( new activity you're bad at/ he's good at, an event that is not of interest to you) Fail: freak out, get angry, blame/ attack others/ events outside yourself for being unable to do something, run off Suceed: be calm, patient and relaxed and enjoy the new activity/ experience.

@samirasamirasamiraa

2 жыл бұрын

Wow thanks for writing it up😘

@jayasharma8654

2 жыл бұрын

Every woman is not same some women keep patience also to get true love instead of physical intimacy

@blessedJesusisKing

Жыл бұрын

Thank you

@peachesandpoets

Жыл бұрын

It's so crazy how they get to act ridiculous and we have to be perfect

@amandaforrester7636

Жыл бұрын

@@peachesandpoets these are good men, not the bad ones you don't want to get Involved with.

The best way to know if she is a high value woman is by getting to know each other. That's grown adult communication.

I lose interest if he pulls away. No time for games or inconsistencies

These sound like mind games I don't need. A man who performs these tests doesn't sound like a high value man

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

So you're saying that as a woman, you never back away from time to time?

@lolguy-x9n

Жыл бұрын

😁 We are. Husi material.

@annado3885

5 ай бұрын

They don't want a crazy bitch

@Shilpa_z

4 ай бұрын

He he hmm

Or, how about this? How about NOT testing each other? How about open, direct communication between 2 adults who use their words instead of childish games? 🤔 It saves time, gets straight to the point, and leaves less room for guessing where the other person is coming from🤷🏿‍♀️......just a suggestion.

@SavBear-025

Жыл бұрын

Well perhaps because most of this is instinctual and most people do these sort of “tests” in one way or another. A lot goes without being said and many times you just have to see for yourself because people can explain they are a certain way but totally act in a different way, even if they don’t know it. I’ve done this a lot and it’s taking a good bit of effort to be more self aware and humble with myself

@Cindy_Cole

Жыл бұрын

Savannah well said👏

@isabelamacavei8418

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Who has time for games when time is the most expensive commodity in this life? If you have self-esteem, you wouldn't fall for this trap. Good point.

@lnaph

Жыл бұрын

Most people don't consciously "test" partners, they simply try to gather information...and sometimes their poorer behavior is simply a consequence of lack of interest, bt a proper response will gain their respect an dmake them realize they need to show up better pr you are gone.

@visionbishop9517

Жыл бұрын

Ah....these are not Jedi and Sith.😆 Good luck with that,marry that person. Or at the min make them a life long friend. Those kinda ppl are hard to find(not counting the psychos)

#3 is the only one on this list that actually pisses me off. Maybe I was raised differently, but it's a simple courtesy to reach out and reconfirm no matter who you're meeting. If you're busy, a quick, 'Hi! Looking forward to seeing you later.", is all it takes! I've noticed that most guys will be chatter boxes right up to the day of the date and then go radio silent. I'd prefer someone that makes a small effort to communicate that our plans are locked in (like a mature adult) instead of someone who has already annoyed me with his stupid test or simple lack of courtesy.

@lhutch1315

Ай бұрын

Exactly!!

*Understanding the tests men might throw our way allows us to respond with confidence and poise. Let's strive to be the high-value women we truly are, and let our actions speak louder than any test.*

As a high value woman I wouldn’t ask him “are we still on”. I think he is the one on charge to ask me that before the date, as supposedly he was the one who has initiated it😂. If he don’t ask me, I would simply not show up. If he ask me why I didn’t show up, I would be like “oh, I am sorry, I didn’t know you are still on. Would you like to settle another one? Just don’t forget to remind me on time this time! It’s your last chance 😂! Follow me for more useful tips!😅

It comes down to having compatible attachment styles not one gender denying their needs to please another. There has to be a healthy balance.

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

Who's denying their needs??? Nobody NEEDS to have a meltdown or chase a man.

@kristinazubic9669

Жыл бұрын

@@Hawaiiansky11 right? it’s very bad for morale.

In short, only positive vibrations is encouraged. It also helps staying busy with life. No one wants to feel like the person they are pursuing does not have a life 😀

but why can’t people just be upfront about what kind of people they are looking for and what relationships they want? Purposely “pulling away” from someone seems manipulative. If you like someone and they start pulling away and you just say nothing makes it seem like the man is trying to see if he can use his silence to put you in you place or manipulate you and I have no time for that (not saying you need to freak out but I feel like addressing the situation in a healthy way is ok). If you like someone just talk to them and if it doesn’t work out it doesn’t work out this stuff is very annoying lol. The minute I sense some kind of game I leave and find someone secure enough to be honest about who they are and who is not afraid of getting to know people

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Because what people say about themselves and how they ACTUALLY behave are often very different. Just like guys will say they want something real and then hook up with you and never talk to you again. When everything is going well, you don't know what a person's character is like because it's easy for them to behave confidently and smartly... you learn their character when things aren't going their way and when they have challenges... then you find out how to handle conflict, how they deal with problems, and what their communication style is like under pressure... and you can't learn it any other way.

@dian277

Жыл бұрын

@@MatthewCoast sounds like a couple should go through more life together instead of playing games and manipulating each other's emotions

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

Most guys who test you test you because they've been burned before. Anyone who has gone on more than one date has probably been burned at some time in their life. Simple solution: when someone pulls away, block them immediately. That will solve the problem for you.

@bah-bah29hinks7

Жыл бұрын

Most men are not looking for a wife. Simple. Just dating. Games is all you get. When you see the games start, drop him if you are looking for more. He is not looking for anything serious but if you are then drop him.

@RiaG777

Жыл бұрын

Exactly!

As a Sigma, I need space from the demands and annoyances of the daily grind, and it sometimes includes my wife. She has learned this is no threat to our relationship, but simply my way of recharging my social battery. My solo time is important, whether in the field or garage, and I always come back when refreshed. Only Sigmas understand this.

@Yusheesan

9 ай бұрын

It's not a "sigma" thing. It's a most people thing. I am a woman and I also need time to myself to just be left alone.

@richerDiLefto

9 ай бұрын

Sounds like an introvert thing.

@mete4999

7 ай бұрын

There is no such thing as a sigma. You are just an introvert. Stop labeling yourself with crap you see on the internet

Literally NO GUY AT ALL, ANYWHERE is worth all of those weird ass mind games. I’m out

Love your perspective Matthew. You always give really great, straight forward advice.

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Kristen!

I found this helpful, I enjoy being honest, not brutally so, to show you can be kind while being honest

Having your male perspective is so awesome!! 💜 thanks for everything 💜

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome!

Sending postive vibes to everyone

If he pulls away he better stay away forever. I don't circle back to foolish tests.

@bettyjames4192

Ай бұрын

I agree. It's damn games I hate them. They need to grow the f up

@liorap5636

Ай бұрын

Ladies I am a little older and men, the deeper the feeling, the more they feel off balance. Honestly it freaks them out and they need a little time especially at first to sort it out what it means to him. It’s up to us to gauge the pace of things, not jump into bed fast (at all) and make him work for us.

Boundaries are key. Need my own space ✌🏼

I have a boyfriend I knew for awhile. Never went on date I never chase him he needs his freedom. When he want to see me he knows how to find me. Always be patient He is buying a house for us to be together.

@rebeccajordan8132

2 жыл бұрын

Someone is buying you a house you have never gone on a date with?

@Christina-yu3gu

2 жыл бұрын

@@rebeccajordan8132 right? Stalker sounds like it to me ??

@bumblebeebea

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry hunny but that's just weird. Never been on a date!?

@leggoddess2181

Жыл бұрын

@@rebeccajordan8132 lol 😂😂😂😂

@susanparker9877

Жыл бұрын

Oh dear girl....your being future faked. THIS IS NOT REAL.

This is so helpful...it applies to the scenario when men evaluate you as business partner material as well, beginning to notice...I agree with it.

I love your advice Mathew very grounding xx

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you, Valerie

If a guy is really interested in a lady he will never forget the day for the dating ,

Thank you, you gave me answers what I was looking for. 🙂

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

Im so thankful for you Matt🙏🏽💙

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Pleasure to help, Betty.

Great, sensible spot on advice, Matt I am older (way) lol, but this girl still needs to listen + learn how to project the value I know I have + am worth. . I have already listened 2X's + am internalizing your points, making sure I check the boxes, I need to improve on. . Thanks for these reminders. I know these will be difference makers

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

👍 Thanks for sharing this, Nancy

I found this very helpful thank you 😊😘

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

Thank you for words of wisdom!

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome

Yes, I sign this, I have a date tomorrow with a dude who is more comfortable to talk in person than online, we connected from time to time in between but not like daily. This is fine with me ☺️

You give such good advice, in a intelligent way, you deserve a good Wife.

I love the way you take your time to explain everything thanks for helping us ❤️

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Franky!

Love your advice

Thanks for the tips Matt

@MatthewCoast

6 ай бұрын

Always welcome.

Thank you very much for this video ❤

@MatthewCoast

11 ай бұрын

You're welcome 😊

Thank You, great content.

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it!

This was great. Thank You

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

You're very welcome!

High value women put their efforts into high value people and activities.

Definitely true!! My Boyfriend works 2 jobs all his life but had to accept who he is ,,

I love your sense of humor, example with ping pong and how you showed it was absolutely fun :D

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

Makes total sense. I admit to being a doormat before but doormat I am no more.

Thank You For This Information 💚💚💚💚🦅🦅🦅🦅

@MatthewCoast

8 ай бұрын

My pleasure!

The grammar and spelling in a text are so true. I’ve overlooked that and regretted it

@lnaph

Жыл бұрын

I have terrible grammar and spelling when texting. that doesn't mean I don't know how to use grammar or spell. It just means typing on the phone is a pain.

You are a genius Matthew of course I can't chase a man I had to listen to you sooner my friend ❤

Wow this is valuable content👏😊💙

Great advise. Thank you

@MatthewCoast

4 ай бұрын

Much welcome.

I think you have good information. Thanks

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

You are welcome!

Very useful! Thank you.

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

I totally agree. This is the right woman have to do. Thank you so much. You are showing me that I'm thinking correct. Thank you again 😊

@MatthewCoast

10 ай бұрын

You are so welcome!

This video just confirms I think like a man, even tho I was born & still physically am a woman… I use all of these “tests” on men & women when I date. But it would appear I’m oblivious when these “tests” are done to me 😞

@cayk9444

Жыл бұрын

Both genders do this, it’s generally within human nature, it’s takes a very strong person to NOT do this

Matthew is SO RIGHT about everything he is saying. He has a New Subscriber 🙌🏾🙌🏾🎉🎉

@MatthewCoast

24 күн бұрын

We welcome you here, Lorraine!

@lorrainethomas788

24 күн бұрын

@@MatthewCoast Thank You I’m definitely watching 🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Thanks for the tips.

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Happy to help!

This is so good

Great advice matt.

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching, Susie

I'll just tell you... he can test me all he wants, but when he does he is failing MY test for him. I'm not here to pass anyone's tests and play games. Communicate with me like an adult or move along to make space for someone who does. I'm not going to wait for the day of the date to hear from a man. If I haven't heard from him at least by the day before then I am making other plans and assuming there is no date.

@TheEternalPheonix

Жыл бұрын

Don’t confuse testing with playing games. They are absolutely not the same thing. Testing is an efficient way to sort the chaff from the wheat, so to speak. Playing games is a quick way to assert that you are the chaff.

Lol. I love your expression 😆 on the ping pong 🏓 🤣 test!

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

😁

Great advice thanx❤

@MatthewCoast

4 ай бұрын

Thanks too.

Hello Our Phenomenally Phenomenal King 👑

Im sorry, life is too short for stupid games

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

No reason to be sorry about that

@sj-9212

2 жыл бұрын

Right

Absolutely NO TEST AND NO GAMES. What happened to maturity and acting like a grown up. 🧐. I am a high valued woman because I do not play games or make a man a “test” subject and I absolutely do not let them put me in that category/position either!

If he pulls away, I am done n gone forever! No need of games!

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

Remember that during times when you need to pull away. Sometimes, life gets busy / we struggle with life in general (depression, the past, etc.) or have family emergencies. If you have zero tolerance for any kind of pulling away, then expect others to treat you the same way.

I was married 3 times but I don't know much about men Matthew so I am all ears my friend ❤❤❤

My crush is testing me all the 5 ways u said.... I think he might have watched this video too... 😂😂😂lol

Very helpful here.

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Glad to hear it!

🤣🤣🤣🤣 ~ Matt ~ you’re a riot! This was great

Important information, you were serious and funny which caused me to laugh out loud. Thanks 3/24/2023.

Planning a date the day of is too last min. The day before is fine. Nothing about being needy. This is simple planning. Simply yes or no - and move on either way. It's not just the guy that can make this decision ladies!

This one is so good

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you like it, Julie

Hi Matthew I just found this your channel here.☺️ It's me imee.😉

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Oh hi, Imee. Welcome aboard.

This just happened to me! He wanted to be exclusive & dangled a vacation after 4 dates..12-hours later ghosted me when I still didn’t sleep w/him

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

You dodged a bullet. Consider it a lesson learned and thank the universe for it.

Thank you!

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

Welcome!

Good advice ❤

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Thanks!

you legend bro :)

Thank you for your male perspective about this it’s actually very interesting, In my case about point #3 If we agreed to date Im not texting or anything and I only start getting ready if he shows up by text that same day early, If not well I just forget about it and guess he wasn’t interested and if he invites me again on another I kindly say no because I consider it’s top disrespectful to agreed on a date with time and everything, not saying a single thing cancelling or whatever and time after just showing up again as if nothing 😂 ??

Thank you 😊

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome

You Are Amazing 🤩

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Thanks

Attraction stems from many avenues, mainly from our upbringing and how we were loved growing up. I don't like this accusation of woman being desperate and needy and clingy. Most woman with any self respect will act that way when a guy is "testing" fail the bloidy test and scream them because if ever a guy makes you feel desperate or needy of clingy is because hes making you feel that way. Us woman are intuitive beings and when it doesn't feel right its usually because something isn't right trust your gut. If it feels right you wonte feel desperate or needy or clingy. Word!

Good tips

@MatthewCoast

8 ай бұрын

Thanks!

I gone listen to you more Matthew ❤

Thank u sir ..nice ...

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Most welcome

Test 1 : He pulls away Fail: Freak out, chase, get angry, attack him, act passive-aggressive etc. Succeeed: give him some space, invite him to come back to you and make him work to get you back...I understand this part and I know it works however I don't fully understand the piece "invite him back" what does that exactly mean?

I agree matt thanks for the advice it's right to encourage him when he is facing challenges 😀 😉 👍

@MatthewCoast

2 жыл бұрын

You're most welcome, Patricia

Thankyou ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤!!!

@MatthewCoast

2 ай бұрын

You’re welcome 😊

I found a great guy he was so good he even convinced my family he was amazing, then when he moved in with me and got on the lease he became lazy didn't want to work and became argumentative and stopped me from seeing friends and family, these awful men trap you and then you are totally stuck

@Hawaiiansky11

Жыл бұрын

Probably a narcissist. That's why it's good to take your time. They seem to fizz out after about 6 months. Some can go longer, but the mask starts coming off right around the 6 month period for some reason.

@nekochan1510

Жыл бұрын

i used to date a guy like that. But after about 6 months, i got angry and kicked him out of my life. I didn't block the contact but he knew he happened to step on a landmine so he called me to say sorry but i told him stop contacting me. =_=

Really Matthew ❤❤❤

It took you long enough Matthew ❤

Remember not everyone comes to stay,or do that to test you Some are just passers, so be careful at learning and giving yourself easily

Thnkz fr ur advce....

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

Always welcome!

I let him know a long time ago he's still the one Love for me.

In my experience I always give all my bad flaws to my guy and I see that he never give up still chase me 😂

We all test. Like it or not. I actually agree with most of what was said. I do question the last one though. It kind of gives him permission to embarrass a female, but your supposed to show him your on his side. Don't embarrass him... that's not a high value man. We are here to grow and support each other. Guide each other through stress and learn new things. A high value man will introduce potential stress, yes. But he will also support her in the learning phase and share the experience, as she will when she introduces new things to him. That is a high value relationship.

I didn't freak out or run but I left when I had an assignment in the office after one month of coming to visit him and I met a different lady,I was still back there for a whole month but he kept staying away from coming home so I left the next month...I needed to return for every freaking reason even though my office needed me back but most importantly I decided to respect myself and leave Cox I wasn't feeling loved Cox I stayed back that long hoping he'd apologize and talk things over with me but he stayed away instead so I HAD TO LEAVE

I am with this man. His dream is hurting him and us. It's only thing disapgree with. We've been together a long time. He's obsessed with going to the woods and doing odd things out there. I've never seen anyone else do this. It affects us.

@As-cc9ug

Жыл бұрын

His dream is hurting you ?? Weird things in the woods ?? good Lord woman you need a restraining order not relationship advice 😢

Raise our value in men eyes 👀! In a relationship both are equal and a woman don’t have do all of theses variety of things to show a man or impress him, so he can fall in love with her! In my opinion love come nature and when two people are in true love ❤️ they can be themselves and they will support each other. For e.g if you hav to do all of these things, is like full-time job and it will lead to a disaster, because the minute you stop cheering him it’s going to be a problem! To all the women please don’t take any nonsense for anyone. Stand on the petals stool…… when a man is truly love you he will never walk out no you; no matter how bad the argument is! The minute when two people start to argue and the man or the woman leave and not clam down and solving the problem, walking is out is not going to do any good, because when man or a woman mostly likely to walking out and get involved with someone else, This is causes more problems!

THANKS

@MatthewCoast

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

Can you explain in more details with a practical example how to handle the withdrawing situation you describe?

Hmmmm. As a high value woman, if a man pulls away, he’s finished. Why? Bc 1- I hate inconsistency and I’m very consistent, to a fault, and I’m into golden rule 2- low testosterone and cowardice behaviour as well as game playings are the last thing I’m interested in. I would never EVER breed w a man who pulls away and plays games, as a woman who can’t stand playing games. High value women or men don’t play games. They just are. They don’t run. They don’t pretend. They don’t act inconsistent or unreliable. Granted, most women out there ( these days) play games and that’s WHY they are NOT high value by standards of most societies. I don’t think you know what high value means. I married my third boyfriend after years of dating ( and after 2 other long term relationships that lasted 4 years ended, no issues, we just went our seperate ways amicably). I’m now married for 15 years. Zero issues. I actually never had relationship issues, and every man I ever dated wanted to get serious w me or marry me. I took my time! I never ever slept w ANYONE without going the long process of getting to know one another. I never played games. I also always paid whatever I could afford, and still do. I’m horrified but what I hear re dating scenes and how BETA men have become and also confused, I do blame women and third wave feminism for a lot of it, but women have lost a lot too. These games don’t help!

I even had to laugh at number 2. Lol

@almarielewis8072

Жыл бұрын

Me too . number two is funny 😂😂😂😂