Book Your Seat for the upcoming Webinar on Master Coparenting with a Narcissist emotionalabuserecovery.com/cop

@4freethinking

Жыл бұрын

The public hospital which also had counseling services housed within the hospital, blame shifted to have me and my entire family attacked by the courtroom of public opinion. Perpetrators of therapy abuse and exploitation and extreme medical negligence, medical abuse, criminal malpractice, used a state and federally funded program which aided families with their desire to have the ability to have their special needs child living at home, rather than in away from home placement, used it as a way to have me stalked, mocked, hit by a stranger, terrorized. Vicious abuses of power and authority, abuses of privileges and entitlements, were being used against my entire family and me by perpetrators who were frantic to assure themselves the crimes and lack of ethics, lack of morality, cruelties, and unconstitutional methodologies they were guilty of and had heinously harmed me and my children through, would never become understood and allow them complete escape from responsibility, accountability, just consequences of all their inhumanities. Hospital and city officials had us brutally ganged

@4freethinking

Жыл бұрын

Continuing...... had us brutally ganged up on by religious public, pretending God was pouring his wrath out upon us. They viciously used demonization and criminalization of my family, ongoing medical abuses and malpractice, and torture to our physical bodies, torture to our spiritual health, torture to our psychological health, damages to our financial health. I consider their warfare strategies to be the equivalent of bishops failing to report the priests who were molesting children, making the children into human sacrifice. Therapy abuse and exploitation and medical malpractice was made out as my fault. We have nearly been medically murdered. So much more.....

I feel so seen it makes me feel like crying. It's hard to condense and summarize the effects of lifelong narcissistic abuse so effectively.

@Lyrielonwind

Жыл бұрын

Yes. I think this is a great video. Concise and well explained.

@sharlaschultz3958

Жыл бұрын

Escalator & Cristina: I hear you both! Escalator, so sorry you've had lifelong narcissistic abuse. My mother was/is a narcissist; however having been in a romantic relationship w a narc man, is quite different than w mom. But the effects are rather similar. Do you have narcissists in ur family?

@SomebodyComelookatThis

Жыл бұрын

Fr💯💯

@southerncatlady

Жыл бұрын

You are seen. Your voice matters. And you are not alone. You are important. You are loved. And none of what you want through with toxic people is your fault! Hugs 🤗

@beautymarch03

11 ай бұрын

I hear yah! Danish hits the nail on the head so lucidly doesn't he.. I literally turn his channel on every night as I'm preparing for bed..tonight was no different.Danish is the most courageous winner I know of Narcissist abuse.what his parent did I know so well..He is my brother and I pray for him..for continued healing and peace..lu

Wow! I needed to hear this! Everything you said described my situation. It's been a year and I am so isolated from everyone. I don't know who I am, how to act or what to say. There is no limit on healing. Thank you!

@blume1186

11 ай бұрын

One and a half year ago it was the same for me. I had the same issues with people every time, so I started questioning myself and descovered that my father is a narcissist. I mean, I knew that he wasn't capable of critizism and so on, but I never have imagined the extend of his character weakness and how it has influenced me. I just fell in confusion. I didn't knew how to act with people, what is normal. I didn't knew if I can trust my senses and memories. I didn`t knew who I was. I was deeply insecure and confused, feeling like a ghost im some way. But reflecting my past and feeling my pain has helped me. In social situations going through it trying to stay present with my feelings and my body with concentrating on the stuff that was said has also helped me so far. Despite some people in the beginning definitely noticed my fear. I feel embarrassed when I think about it, but it helped me learning to deal with me and situations, and now its better, even if I am still a bit insecure. It improved a lot. Now I am able to trust my feelings and senses. I am more grateful than anything for the clarity that have set in to a certain extend . Earlier I have been so many times deeply confused about things and life.

I had more social anxiety while I was 6 years with my ex covert narcissist fiancé!i always thought he was the light & I was less…no! I always had the feeling to be the ugly one, people looking at me as a ugly duck. Now I’m smiling again, people are wondering what great happened to me😮 I’m healing😍

Its been over a year no contact and thankfully im at the age that i dont need anyone and Im not willing to waste my time on meeting anyone. They only person i can trust is myself

This describes my relationship with my ex-husband to a T! He did not hit me but found other ways to punish me. After we split I started having panic/anxiety attacks & didnt understood why. Thank you for explaining this so well!!

@julia197

Жыл бұрын

Same as me :(

I had no idea I had these triggers. When a person got angry, this was a trigger and still is, but the others I had no idea. Now I know what I need to work on with my healing from narcissistic abuse. Thank you.

@overcomingnarcissism

Жыл бұрын

@@jbrown2908 Thank you

I apologised for everything since I was a child cos my folks were narcs. I never understood why I did that.

@Corinna_Schuett_GER

Жыл бұрын

Same with me and I still do, even in a totally safe environment for many years. Even if my loving husband is honest to me to tell me he didn't like an ingredient in what I cooked I do apologize when in fact I liked the taste of it and nothing was wrong with the meal. 🥴🥴

Every word you say, and even your body language says you understand at a level only someone who has been hammered by the abuse can say. I was fairly recently diagnosed with agoraphobia when I expressed a fear of answering the phone, answering a knock at the door, reading the news, and even opening up the mail is hugely anxiety producing. I have heard and felt it all from people who want to "help" by telling me it's not good to isolate. Being with people (even a therapist) takes supreme effort and I have cancelled a thousand appointments and invitations. I feel I need a universe of "down time" and have a massive case of the "shoulds"... writing is my only safe place and even then I have to "buck up" to read replies. It's worse in sunlight when I feel I "should" be out in it. Sometimes when I feel strong, you're right... I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I hate this.

@Cat-oj4oz

Жыл бұрын

@@jbrown2908 Thank you for your reply and your wisdom. I'm going to find that book and read it --- I feel a kind of desperation at this point and need some positive centering.

@candicemoodley5842

Жыл бұрын

that is exactly how i feel thank u

@kamicrum4408

Жыл бұрын

For me those pushing me ( my Exs parents)to go out & be with people are people whoare energized by being around people, I prefer solitude,that recharges me, not crowds! They didnt even try to understand me .

@sharlaschultz3958

Жыл бұрын

J Brown: Yes!!! I go over & play games w my dau, her husband and sm children, mainly so I can hear the kids laugh. 8, 6, and 3. Or I'll sit and listen to their innocent conversations and laughing while playing. :-)

@sreed5633

Жыл бұрын

Same. Peace and strength to you all

This was my exhusband..He was a diagnosed psycopath and would punch me and choke me if I said the wrong thing or if I someone called my phone and it was a wrong number he would bust my phone on my head...ugh I was a mess for years...couldnt function..lots of physical injuries...then the last man I dated fits the description of a narcissist he had no empathy or emotional depth..fake superficial a compulsive liar and cheated all the time. He eventually discarded me but demeaned me ..put downs...telling me I was unattractive flabby and poor...now Im not too sure exactly if I ever trust myself to choose a partner because of all my poor choices. Ive had a few opportunities to date and I see red flags all the time.

I can clearly relate all of this with my father and to my firts boyfriend, both violent, both insulting and menacing. Always shaming me, mockiyng me, walking on eggshelks. Everything i said was wrong. I was so young. It made such harm i wasnt awate of this facts. Again i thank you for your work.

I experience massive anxiety when people ask intrusive personal questions. I automatically imagine the nosey people are out to get me and any information I give them will be used against me. That includes information as trivial as what I like to eat for breakfast.

Danish Thankyou for your wise council 🌻

Oh, very much so!! it's been almost 3 years since i ran away from my narc (it was not a romantic relationship), and i am still on a long road to recovery.

It took me forever to get out I remember where I could make it from the bed to the couch please search yourself out heal yourself inside and out and then you will be great and strong

Everything you had pointed out is exactly what I am experiencing 😢 it’s so difficult for anyone else to understand and I cannot believe how much being with Narc/ husband for 3-decades has made my life so miserable trying to get back into society 😢😢

@candicemoodley5842

Жыл бұрын

hii i feel u im in the same boat

@barbaramcclung5460

Жыл бұрын

Right behind you both!

Thank you so much for this, Danish. Sadly, all of it is very very true.

Absolutely Right that is. I have been struggling with the same issue. Iam hyper vigilant with most people. But Iam healing.

This is so true. I’m literally so withdrawn and have no interaction with family or friends. I’m so lonely.

Danish …. thank you from the bottom of my heart. your insite is spot on . three years ago when i went no contact i was a broken man . constantly on the verge of tears. then …. i see a friend on facebook. a friend i had not talked to in 46 years.. i have known her since we were 5 years old. i know her… and she knows me . she knows the kid i was and i know her … this was a match made in Heaven. she stood beside me with care and compassion and helped put the pieces back together ❤️❤️❤️i am one Blessed man. never give up … you never know what tomorrow may bring.

All correct I am very sad

Wow,, again you nailed it,, I'm still trying to come outa this relationship, for some reason I struggle with letting him back, and I just want to be done. But all I hear now is, he tells me ""you excuse me of cheating, and it's your fault I ghost you" all the time.. so says if I stop doin that he won't ghost me anymore,, that's the most twisted crap, iv ever heard!! Sure I'm gina let you go screw around behind my back,, and that's ok!! Yaa kick rocks!!! Thank you I needed this video,, 🙏 ❤️

I've gone virtually mute.

I struggle with social anxiety after the narcissistic abuse I had to endure. I used to be so happy and confident, and I feel like my ex killed that version of me. I sometimes have suicidal thoughts because the suffering is too much too handle

i’m well on my healing journey because of: NO CONTACT

I was married to a covert narcissist, I believe after watching these videos. Any attempt at having a mature conversation, for example about his infidelity and sharing my feelings was met with a blank stare, complete disengagement. He would wait until I ran out of words and go on about his day without any conversation on his part. He's now deceased and I never had any insight into what he understood about his continual infidelity and it's effect on me. No anger, no fights, just a weird vacuum is what I am left with.

I love the term ‘autoimmune disease in your brain’. That really resonates with my current state.

Danish Bashir, Yes, & yes, this video of the triggers I think has helped me the most so far w the awful increased self-doubt, & " my brain attacking my thoughts", as you said. I was only w my narcissist 6-7 mos; I can't imagine the emotional trauma of yrs, when these 7 mos did enough trauma to my psyche. It's now been over 8 mos since he broke it off, & while I've done some gd work & have maintained 'no contact' for a good while, I think it may be up to a YEAR before I'm headed. Sometimes the emotional pain is so acute that I have to go home, at a friend's gathering; leave a grocery store, or even church. I love singing in a large community Chorale; I don't leave singing, early. :-) BLESS YOU, FOR THESE VIDEOS!!!

❤ I always overthink about what I say and how I suppose to act around people. And when I talk I cannot think of how to say what I mean I feel like people walk away not understanding what I said I’m a quiet person mostly so now I don’t like talking or going to social functions

@Corinna_Schuett_GER

Жыл бұрын

I am not a great talker on the phone either, have developed writing skills rather than talking after being raised by narcissists. I talk a lot with my husband though from the first time we met (25yr). Yet if he shifts mood it still triggers anxiety with me. Sometimes he's just tired and I think it's my fault. I know this is ridiculous but triggers still revive old patterns.

Ultimately TRUST is something we don't know how to do & it's like we've fallen off the face of the Earth because we've lost our balance.

It’s hard to trust people. If someone who supposedly loves or loved you is capable of such things how can I ever hope to trust a stranger? I used to think this when I was younger. I’m better now but scars remain.

@ColleenBarlow

Жыл бұрын

So so true. What's the answer? Wish I knew ..

@roastingpotato

Жыл бұрын

@@ColleenBarlow we all find our own answers, little by little, day by day. I hope you and everyone in this comment section find well deserved peace.

I get anxiety with current IPPS email and phone give me anxiety. I think it carried over from the covert, my paranoia/anxiety is higher than normal still, sometimes I need to unplug one source of assertion of control or another to maintain a relationship.

Bro appreciate your videos so much. This such a big awareness you are creating. Keep up the good work. No words to thank you. God has sent you for a purpose. These are not just videos. These are videos of bringing breaking souls to life.

Spot on! It’s nice to know there is SOMEBODY who really understands! Yes, I have completely changed as a person since one of worst narcissistic events took place. Thank you for this video!

Very true ... The way you explained clearly shows your experience and the way you have come out of it. Thank you for validating our experience. Because it's very difficult to explain. . I feel horrible for losing my identity. . Feel shameful also , but i am processing my shame... Just want to tell one more thing that , my child is going through developmental delay because of my narcissistic brother and parents and in laws. . My pregnancy and after that period was emotionally very exhuastive. All that emotional distress has passed on to my child. If you can make a video of the danger a pregnant woman goes through, it helps other pregnant woman to take care of her needs as the priority. Thank you again. ..

Thank you Danish. Some Narc abuse scars will never go. I believe one must learn from it by understanding that particular Narc behaviour. So if one understands ,learns and adds it to his knowledge , that scar will become diminished. That abuse somewhat becomes a benefit.

Before knowing about narcissism; first thing I discovered was learned helplessness. My dog came from a shelter and was traumatized. She was always people's pleasing when we met new people or strangers and that was exactly what I thought: "don't hit me, I'm not a threat". I discovered Seligman's experiment which kind of traumatized me more and that was the beginning; later I found out about life scripts by Berne (that was a tough one book to read) and finally KZread started to suggest me videos about narcissism. I knew I was being manipulated by my family but not how did they do it. I became anorexic from one day to another because I couldn't swallow. I overcame it but took me time (I looked like someone from a extermination camp). I don't know if I will have time to heal or see significant changes before I die. I'm 60 and still struggling with people's pleasing. I need to constantly remind myself about it but I can't relax with people because I go back to the same behavior. The funny thing is that people's pleasing keep people away; most people sees me too nice and I guess they think I want something from them.😢 People's pleasing keeps people away, not closer. I that's another reason why I keep attracting narcissists but not healthy people. I feel I can't be spontaneous or natural.

@kobra4422

Жыл бұрын

That's so true, learned helplessness is the worst feeling but not many talk about it. I also observe dogs and they deal with trauma similarly to humans. Thank you for sharing the important knowledge. I haven't heard about the life scripts but it sounds on point. You have a great self knowledge, don't beat yourself up for little things.

first of all, thank you very much for what you said. I feel exactly as you say. I was close to suicide. I felt that I had lost everything. my interests, my friends' passion, my name, I felt empty and unnecessary to anyone. I still can't get myself together after all this and I know that it's long process :(

I can't even make a simple question without feeling stupid and apologize

@123runsallie

3 ай бұрын

Oh my heart goes out to you. Healing is possible.

When my husband make the plan to visit us I started to watch more videos tht how we can save ourselves and started to make a plan on the worst situation ....like a on rage or gas lighting...but last he wins by pushing my buttons...

after decades of abuse, the only way to have even a little peace was… Blind Compliance. no matter what ..shut up , sit still and comply . it almost killed me . i like so many others thought .. it will get better, i can do better… forget it ! get out at any cost and save your self🙏🏼

Everything You Post Is Always 1000% Accurate Being With Him For 5 Months Physically After Marriage And Mentally Since Two Years Made Me A Huge Mess I Am Confused I Always Wanted To Know What is Happening But Your Videos Made It Clear 😢 That This Behavior Wasn't Normal I Was Right All Along Danish Ur A Savior Please Also Tell Us Ur Story!!

Danish...Man..Thank You. Thank you for your Support. Not a lot of people are aware of themselves. Let alone their actual situations, but you keep it as clear as possible when you're doing your thing on here. Please keep posting because people like me are like you said losing touch with themselves and and could very well be the next gen of great thinkers. Thank You Again.

I am the epitome of this session and cannot find a way out. I am terrified to interact with even innocent people let alone the 4 master narcissist demons that have destroyed me as human with my own birthrights to be allowed to merely exist 😢

I was raised by narcissists, my father often used the silent treatment. As a child I was VERY insecure indeed, even anxious to answer a phone call to friends. I got out of that as a young adult but still have some issues sometimes after so many years, apologizing a lot for small things or scanning emotions of my husband (who is an empathetic person though). He has helped me a lot to heal but Jesus Christ did the most part. Yet still I cannot hear my mother's voice so accusing always, I have to stand far off no contact or grey rock if ever. The more narcissistic society gets altogether the more unwilling I am to deal with them.

Ur commentary here is so very powerful and triggering (but in a good way) and of course, validating and healing. Thank u 4 this! And because triggers can happen at any time, how do u manage feelings of anger that can erupt years later? I practice mindfulness, meditation and pray, yet moments of anger still occasionally come to the surface. What more can be done to avert these? ❤

@tarey05

Жыл бұрын

@@jbrown2908 Oh yes, I already do a good deal of yard work and walking, still . . . i'm currently thinking of learning jiu jitsu for physical/emotional release. We'll see.

I used to have a lot of friends but after decades of abuse I’m only comfortable when I’m completely alone.

Exactly right, so perfectly explained ..how do we fix ourself!?

Same with me..taking pshychological therapy n homeopathic treatment to get strong inside first so that I can oppose all narcissists including my husband n family.

I avoid social gatherings out of fear that I will let something slip about his behavior, because it feels like I al just going to erupt and say something I musn't that will harm his good image🤦‍♀️. Another thing I became quite aggressive when someone accuse me of something I am not and then immediately say my piece. Afraid that do not get me anymore friends😅

Wow this video was so powerful. Thank you for sharing. So insightful, and I’m sure groundbreaking for many people🙏🏼

and i give a lot of apreciation and love to Danish

You are right. We need to give ourselves time to heal the trauma which has destroyed ourselves. Thank you.

It’s been almost a year and some things are better… however I’m not ME. It was a 13 year relationship. Year one of love bombing, sensational! Then 12 years of drama😢 Am I ever going to feel human again?

1:23 Hyper vigilant. Yes they take revenge. Even after months. They wont forget. They'll lure and set you up with sweet words and when they find a fault they'll pounce on you. 3:55 Two Narc family members ring fenced me over my affairs. They started handling as if it wasn't my affair but theirs. I was becoming helpless. I was losing myself. Lucky i got out. 8:25 OMG !! That is Horrid. It happened to me with two Narcs . I started doubting myself. Then i fought back. Kicked them out of my life and cancelled all the benefits i was giving them. All have gone cold. "Shaping your moods constantly." --- They are setting you up with soft sweet words and jokes etc.

Thanks 😊you make what happens so clear it is very hard to be around people or to make new healthy friends but the work is so worth it

I almost cried.

Merci infiniment, infiniment, j'avais besoin d'entendre tout ça et maintenant...Je suis en plein dans la prise de conscience à quel point j'ai été traumatisée...je comprends grâce à tes mots pourquoi et comment je réagis alors que j'ai passé une vie à essayer de trouver pourquoi....Je me sens brisée en mille milliards de morceaux comme s'il ne restait plus rien de moi....je ne sais plus qui je suis et je ne sais plus avancer...Il reste cependant au fond de moi une lueur de vie, je sais uq'elle est là, je sais que ce que je traverse est naturel et nécessaire et à la fois je croule sous le poids de la douleur....Je laisse faire ce qui se fait en espérant qu'un jour plus loin, je ne sais pas quand, tout ça sera un souvenir dans lequel je pourrai puiser de la force...ce qui me fait du bien curieusement, c'est de plonger dans ses bulles de souvenirs qui semblent se succéder à l'infini et me font vivre des émotions que jusqu'ici j'avais totalement occulté ou plutôt, ont été occulté pour ma survie. Merci Danish Bashir, merci. Je laisse les vagues rouler...la marée m'emporte et me ramène...rien n'est joyeux mais c'est heureux. Je le sais, au pluys profond de moi je le sais mais dieu, que c'est douloureux.

May danish please make a series on the social anxiety and social awkwardness narc abuse survivors face and how to fix it

This explains my experience with my ex-husband to a T. So insightful. Thank you for validating the survivors’ experiences, Danish.

Father in law vampire fed off me for six years. We eliminated his control end of 2020. Jesus. Everything you laid out is how I still operate.

Omg... All of these apply. And they have applied for so long that I am mostly numb. When interacting with the narcissist, at least... All these issues manifest now in my interactions with other people, out in public, while working... Ugh 😢

Both my boys have been so emotionally affected/traumatized by their narcissist father and we separated over a year ago. My oldest doesn't even acknowledge that he has any trauma because he lives in constant cognitive dissonance. I haven't appropriately dealt with own trauma from the 16 year marriage and I feel like I don't even know how to help them. I also get very upset(sad) triggered when one of them gaslights me, by default, because they only know how to communicate like their dad, same terminology but I don't believe they are narcissist. How am I supposed to undo or un-teach them these learned behaviors? And still have the ability to heal for myself.

Spot on!! Thank you for your insight!!

Always so helpful and clear

Damn...this describes the deep topic indeed!!

Excellent work brother. Summed up my life.

Thank yoy so much❤

Danish, can you please do a video on what to do when your brain can't stop attacking it's own thoughts? When you are constantly looking for confirmation you were wrong and you have completely lost the ability to trust yourself at all?

@ArtemisSilverBow

11 ай бұрын

Something that helps me is conditioning myself. When I find myself thinking about it I immediately attach a mental photo of something pleasant. I say out loud to myself that I can do this. You've got this!

thank u i luv u thank u for putting into words what i am going through and even more than that acknoledging me

I feel like I have lost my authenticity, my espontainaty.

I never knew about narcissistic abuse I only wish I knew long time ago then I wouldn’t had put up with years of abuse waiting for him to change like what our parents tells us to do. Now even going through divorce is a living nightmare. He goes getting married in a secret while we’re still married and has a new life but still he’s doing everything to destroy me and his kids lives. Why can’t he just leave me alone

😭 am struggling and trying to heal from this day by day

I relate to this

How do I ever thank you? You say everything I could not verbalize.

Isolate my self every time he is around,and I have no voice at all...

I was in a relationship with a narcissistic person for 7 years now its been 8 months since shjust up and left and ghosted me I have spoken to her since now I feel like I'm in the space of nothingness

As it is my original nature is that ppl from all categories feel very comfortable with me . But now a days I feel uncomfortable with everyone My near and dear ones and anyone :(

Never hit me but I get triggered by loud noises and doors slamming, etc, etc, etc

@southerncatlady

Жыл бұрын

Same! I immediately get irritable and defensive. It ruins my whole day, even if it's one brief thing...

I feel like I' m living a representation, robotically.

Layer smearing with social anxiety. No matter how long you have known somebody, or how fond you are as soon as you leave the room the narcissist ruins things and you get the idea that it’s your fault because you are so repulsive. I wasn’t afraid of being left alone ; I knew there wasn’t anymore left in my life. I’m a very mature person but I am not able to converse without stammering. People treat me like I have half the IQ that I do. Anyone who would make the choices like me has to be mentally impaired. The big question is how to get back self esteem after living like a cult victim. Once you’ve decided you’re going to heal how do you deal with people? When I go out I try to be patient but I have my limit before I need to go home. If I have to interact with some of them more than once it’s worse than the dentist without Novocain. I used to be a very public person but if you can’t trust the person you have loved and slept with for years and years then I don’t believe there’s much chance of anyone being genuine.

I call it "Emotional ICU"

I need to talk to you Mr. Danish.

Danish are u qualified in what u are saying???

I just don't understand how the flying monkeys can just sit there and watch it happen, can someone explain this to me please?

@alicewright4322

7 ай бұрын

probably the narcissist lies to everyone to make themselves out to be the victim. some of their friends believe them so they will go along with it, others don't believe it, but they know that if they contradict the narcissist it will cause a major fight, so they just ignore it. in my experience most in the narcissist's inner circle knew the narcissist was trouble, but did not know what to do about it to help the situation, so they just kept distance. it was people that did not know them so well that they were able to use and that might believe their lies.