From now on I will audibly exclaim "PAUSE" whenever I would stutter, um or uh. Thank you for your advice Vinh, you're a true blessing!

@VitrolicInsanity

Жыл бұрын

That's actually a .. uhh PAUSE great idea.

@liamrodriguez5702

Жыл бұрын

@@VitrolicInsanitymm no I think you meant that’s a PAUSE, EXTRA PAUSE great idea, no ums here lol

@TonyEbukaSG

Жыл бұрын

Lol no

@immanuelrodjan1851

Жыл бұрын

Babe, what do you want to eat tonight? "PAUSE I think PAUSE I'm craving PAUSE I don't know, you choose"

@Kas_Styles

Жыл бұрын

Thats a great tip. Thank you

I just watched about like 60 of these KZread shorts and they’re amazing

Unless you grew up in a household/are around mostly people who, if you pause for a split second, will jump in and not stop talking and you won’t get a word in edge wise. And then you become one of those people lol😂

@hschwie1

Жыл бұрын

I realize that this cutting in is a culture thing. First time in the Philippines I was wondering why everyone e.g. at the dinner table seems to speak at the same time. But somehow it works. People share and others add and then come emotions and more input. In a quiet voice I asked someone why they are yelling at each other 😅 That question was not appreciated at all! Lesson learned.

@hschwie1

Жыл бұрын

I realize that this cutting in is a culture thing. First time in the Philippines I was wondering why everyone e.g. at the dinner table seems to speak at the same time. But somehow it works. People share and others add and then come dmotions and more input. In a quiet voice I asked someone why they are yelling at each other 😅 That question was not appreciated at all! Lesson learned.

@Kas_Styles

Жыл бұрын

I have learned to use what are called "No oriented questions." (You can Google it for more info.) And then use what is called a "Primer" to set their own expectations of what the conversation is going to be like/how long it will take. The same guy actually has shorts on primers so it best to go through his channel to find more info.

Access my FREE 3 part series on communication skills: gifts.vinhgiang.com/youtube

@Aliasger2029

Жыл бұрын

you are utterly underrated 😤

It’s a great way to speak, you just have to adjust your cadence to where you’re gonna pause. This helps the people who are listening to know that you’re still continuing with your thought and doesn’t confuse them on whether you’re done or not. More often than not, I just get talked over for pausing, but I’d rather pause than not cause I don’t wanna talk over other people. Can be so annoying

I knew it, but still needed to hear it again

When I pause people then take over the conversation and I can’t get another word in. One of my roommates does that and it drives me nuts. I don’t bother talking with him and my other roommate anymore on our daily commute, or even in general because my voice just isn’t valued by him.

@hadassah6085

Жыл бұрын

You could try bringing it up with him. He may not realise. Unless you already tried that.

I love learning. You are a good Teach-Cook

I love this technique. It has helped me get rid of my Ums and Aws. But I also find that when I pause, other people find that as an opportunity to interrupt me, thinking that I had finished talking. How can I effectively use a pause without being interrupted?

@powerthirst7717

Жыл бұрын

Try pausing into suspense. Pause at points where there’s obviously something important to be said next. Almost like dramatic story telling. The answers to questions are hidden behind pauses to make you curious.

@gray_gogy

Жыл бұрын

You should politely yet firmly let them know you're not done yet. Just as they start to interrupt you can say "hold on let me finish". Say it nicely but just saying it establishes self respect and confidence

@sofachrome

Жыл бұрын

I immediately hold up a single index finger, make eye contact with the offender, and continue saying whatever i was saying before the interruption. People automatically stop talking when they see that finger go up. It works 95% of the time for me.

This brings peace to my mind❤ time to process

It's the same in writing... it's just physical period. You have a period.. that's the end of the sentence, thought or idea. Same in speech.

The problem with pausing for me is that I’m the youngest in my department by a good bit. When I pause I just get spoken over.

Just like in speeches

Hey Vinh, well it's Dhruv I have been following you since a month and your instructions and advices have helped me so much So thank you so much sir

Got an A in Speech class for doing this

Vihn would be a good doctor who

This is powerful. I'll work with this

I think many people misunderstood the use of pause. Not every conversation needed a pause, at least, not a long one. Usually, for casual talk you just need to pause just for a moment or a second. Of course, this seems like it is ineffective, but it is just a casual talk. As for a more serious talk or speech, pausing became an essential weapon to use when speaking. For me, I would used long pause when I convey a complex information between parts or sections. Shorter pause is used for important but simpler content.

Person talking: *pauses for reasons My ADHD brain: Ah, time to think about what to eat for lunch! Person: *continues talking My ADHD brain: *already through 5 distracting thoughts forgot what person was talking about. And the speaker's name. And what plan they just made for lunch. Please don't pause for an ADHDer, boredom is actually painful for us. Our brains work faster, and yes, that's why our pauses are shorter or non-existent. I watch 90% of youtube videos on 1.5x to 2x speed. If I don't say what's on my mind now, my new thought pushes out the old thought entirely and it often takes a while to circle back. I can kinda over-ride this with pre-prepared, pre-written speeches, but nerves make me speak even faster.

@NMBadGirl_AayJayy

Жыл бұрын

Omg yes the struggle is real 😅😂

Sadly, any pause is interrupted and deviated away by someone who fails to respect you.

What do you do when you pause but the listener assumes that’s their cue to talk?

@Dzkingofdiscipline

Жыл бұрын

You say I didn’t finish

@SoySolanoStudios

Жыл бұрын

Body language and hand gestures would work too lol

@nirbhaysingh433

Жыл бұрын

Pause midsentence. Can be difficult to find the right timing tho. Or say smt along the lines 'and so' or 'therefore' and then pause ig.

This is so good 🎉

As a naturally slow and deliberate speaker, I find having a conversation with people who don't pause to be one of the most frustrating and exhausting types of personal interaction to the point where if you speak without pausing to let others think or respond I simply won't associate with you.

I appreciate you

Why he is always so right

@Aliasger2029

Жыл бұрын

he reads books and gains knowledge, its simple

Silence is used as a tool in interrogation. People are naturally made uncomfortable by sudden silence in a conversation, so maybe that’s why so many people use umms and uhhs. I’ve never considered that before. Still, purposeful pauses are greatly beneficial, especially in speeches.

When I pause, I get stressed out, cause I have to find the words to finish my point before I leave enough time to allow the other person to interrupt, which would make me loose my train of thought. Those gaps can be filled with "uhm"s to communicate that I am finding my words, and that I am not done explaining my point yet. Based on this it could sound like I hoard all of the time in a conversation, but that is not the case.

Imagine having a conversation like this So... *pause* what did i do yesterday... *pause* i... *pause* dont *pause* know *pause* lol

maybe that's why my biology teacher gives a pause after telling the most complicated thing😂

Hey Vinh, your videos are great and educational. Please can you recommend a good speech therapist?

@Aliasger2029

Жыл бұрын

you don't need any speech therapist just read books on improving it and practice what the book teaches you

My favourite pause is "Does that make sense?" It does all the things you mention here, while also actively soliciting feedback, to make the listener(s) feel more engaged.

@JnoPrds

Жыл бұрын

Well you can’t say does this make sense after everything. “Morning everyone, how are you all? Does that make sense?”

@DiMono

Жыл бұрын

@@JnoPrds Obviously you can't insert it everywhere. Though it would be hilarious to try.

😭bro reached Sensei level

Ok I am going to pause between words .

What about speaking slowly ? I do that method "Pause Breath Think" then speak, and when I speak I speak with a speed around 90 beats per minute.

Some PPL pause at every statement. Where mind drifts out of the room

It feels like you never breathe while speaking

if i pause people jump all over what I'm saying

How do I share this with Elon musk?

Unfortunately, today's adhd, perpetual 7th grader society doesn't know when to shut up. They just start talking over you even before you think about pausing.

@annagram1

Жыл бұрын

we have a mental disability… jesus. that’s like saying man, people with clinical depression don’t know how to be happy! everyone can try to pretend to be more normal but our brains are physiologically different, and people like you are the reason we feel the need to pretend and put on a mask at all. plus, i guarantee you’ve interacted with plenty of people with ADHD and had no clue.

You messed up your body language here. Pay attention to your stance. 😅 no disrespect intended