3 ways a Covert Narcissist subtly Disrespects You

Link to my best resources:
linktr.ee/narcabusecoach
chapters
00:00 introduction
01:36 1. Covertly abandoning During conversation with a narcissist
05:31 2. YOU are made to feel inadequate and incomplete
9:09 3.They intentionally let you make mistakes

Пікірлер: 442

  • @narcabusecoach
    @narcabusecoach9 ай бұрын

    Link to my best resources: linktr.ee/narcabusecoach

  • @FollowingJesus320

    @FollowingJesus320

    8 ай бұрын

    My X Narc's mother would leave out ingredients in recipes so that my meal was wrong and the X used to say that my food didn't taste right.

  • @angeldee7287

    @angeldee7287

    6 ай бұрын

    Your mom sounds like my mom. 😊 thanks for your video Have a nice day today

  • @angeldee7287

    @angeldee7287

    6 ай бұрын

    @@FollowingJesus320yes

  • @christinam.1930

    @christinam.1930

    6 ай бұрын

    Thank you!

  • @sushmayen
    @sushmayen9 ай бұрын

    They also use fake tears to make you feel like the bad guy. We empaths should be careful not to feel sorry for them

  • @user-ly7en7bg1j

    @user-ly7en7bg1j

    9 ай бұрын

    Exactly!

  • @flowerpower4944

    @flowerpower4944

    9 ай бұрын

    Yes they do this,always the innocent ,victim

  • @namastea

    @namastea

    9 ай бұрын

    So true

  • @janiceh.45

    @janiceh.45

    9 ай бұрын

    Definitely I noticed with my mom, and one long relationship with a man. He would fake being overly upset about something. These videos are real good eye openers!

  • @peachesandpoets

    @peachesandpoets

    9 ай бұрын

    My mum tried it the other day and I just looked at her. She stopped

  • @JohnSmith-bm6zg
    @JohnSmith-bm6zg9 ай бұрын

    It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

  • @happym3008

    @happym3008

    3 ай бұрын

    Thank YOU I really needed to hear this I’m Having a really bad Day 🙃👍

  • @nicholecornes1915

    @nicholecornes1915

    2 ай бұрын

    No you guys its not your fault

  • @naturalhealingmexico
    @naturalhealingmexico8 ай бұрын

    Narcs love to see you sad and down, they hate seeing others(empaths) enjoying life. They put you down with drama, chaos and schemes....also i had noticed they disrespect you by taking your time (always late or make you wait for them, that makes them feel important) , by taking your money (always asking for borrowing money or not paying at time). And they disrespect you by envy what you are or have, they are wicked creatures.

  • @tarey05
    @tarey059 ай бұрын

    Those countless and needless impulsive interruptions to satsfy their insatiable desire to demonstrate their superiority are so damaging! They never grow tired of performing for strangers while neglecting and demeaning those closest to them. Rotten to the core.

  • @turtleanton6539

    @turtleanton6539

    5 ай бұрын

    Indeed

  • @kobra4422
    @kobra44229 ай бұрын

    I've learned whenever I had the feeling of inadequacy, being left out in the group or someone giving passive agressive, subliminal vibes, they 100% knew what they were doing. They wanted to make me feel like a shit. I've realized it while dealing with ex supervisor who was doing it in obvious way, but it made me go back to my younger years when I had no idea people do it on purpose. When you realize it's their intention to make you feel shitty, ruin your day, it doesn't affect you that much.

  • @Wasp239

    @Wasp239

    9 ай бұрын

    for some reason it upsets me more to know that people do it on purpose

  • @laminage

    @laminage

    9 ай бұрын

    @@Wasp239 I was in the same boat growing up. It was very hurtful and cruel with my cousins. They later admitted that they were jealous because I was the Favorite Grandchild, and I had my "Real" father and some didn't, and they had fathers who were alcoholics. When I gave them a dose of their own medicine they were hurt but they knew they had no right to complain. They do it by lying, not keeping a promise, and always giving some lame excuse especially when they can't pay you back.

  • @kobra4422

    @kobra4422

    9 ай бұрын

    ​@@laminageexactly. Usually they think you have a better life for some silly reason and punish you for it even if it's just in their head.

  • @kayinattv1

    @kayinattv1

    9 ай бұрын

    Absolutely there's no other Reason for Hot And Cold Behavior When You Care You Care Always Not Sometimes When It's Convenient

  • @kayinattv1

    @kayinattv1

    9 ай бұрын

    @@Wasp239 so true it's depressing

  • @juliatamalo7916
    @juliatamalo79169 ай бұрын

    It is a clash on the spiritual realm when we deal with them

  • @rahasovereign9510

    @rahasovereign9510

    8 ай бұрын

    Yes exactly. Satanic vs God

  • @priyanesan3299

    @priyanesan3299

    7 ай бұрын

    Yes! Spiritual warfare and we never knew that we were in it for so long.

  • @pennyrobinson4266
    @pennyrobinson42667 ай бұрын

    The sigh when you start talking. No greeting, no eye contact, but loud sighs when you talk about the slightest thing. If you ask why they are sighing repeatedly, they deny it with anger: "Why is everything about you?! I wasn't even looking at you!" But you know they just confessed. it's degrading disrespect.

  • @rapstar4575
    @rapstar45759 ай бұрын

    They burn bridges then wanna come back.

  • @stargazer3887
    @stargazer38879 ай бұрын

    Once, my sister watching me while I was enjoying a soup she had made herself, I noticed her eyes full of envy. Even if I was praising her cooking, she couldn't stand seeing me smiley, vivid and happy. It was the day of her birthday and I gifted her a beautiful jewel with a butterfly. She only said: "I hate insects" and left the box on the table.

  • @freud5898

    @freud5898

    9 ай бұрын

    One time I made fresh peach ice cream. The comments at the table of kinfolks included, "I hate ice cream -- especially peach!" It was so outrageously comical, I declared it to be a joke worth repeating for decades. You don't like something? Oh, yeah, I hate ice cream -- especially peach! 🍑😀

  • @stargazer3887

    @stargazer3887

    9 ай бұрын

    😵‍💫@@freud5898

  • @DaughterofZyion

    @DaughterofZyion

    9 ай бұрын

    ​@@freud5898😂😂😂😂 you fall into their trap

  • @aartivyas7190

    @aartivyas7190

    9 ай бұрын

    A woman I used to call and believe was my mother did similar things to me. They are Bag of hatred , vile creatures

  • @christinalw19

    @christinalw19

    8 ай бұрын

    That reminds me: when our mother passed at 101, the rose I planted in honor of her 1/2 Irish ancestry “ St. Patrick,” bloomed the last rose of the year. It was beautiful. I took a picture and sent to my sister in a text with the sentiment I just explained. Her reply was “ I DON’T LIKE YELLOW ROSES.” What a bitch, & SHE was the golden child, I the empath scapegoat. Same year, we got a new suv, my husband picked it out and we drove to the desert to visit. Same thing, only I never asked for her opinion: “I don’t like blue cars.” Petty & nasty. 😖

  • @rochelle3431
    @rochelle34318 ай бұрын

    My mother would disregard me in front of my children. I would happily start a conversation with her and she would cut me off looking around the room to talk to my children. She didn’t give a damn about me or my children she just wanted to continue this generational narcissistic disrespect so my kids would disrespect me. Now my oldest son look at me like I have no importance 🥲

  • @djmandyland
    @djmandyland6 ай бұрын

    YES!! My ex use to ask me questions or ask my opinion on something and then when I would answer and he obviously didn't like what I have to say he would FREAK out at me. Then during the rare normal conversation he would burp and loudly blow it into the phone at me while I was talking and then he'd make weird mouth noises and I'd just be like.... um excuse you? Who does that? Then he would yell at me and say I was trying to control his bodily functions and because of that I'm a manipulative and controlling person for not allowing him to "be himself" smhhhhh. That crap really got to my head for a LONG time he would always say "you're trying to change who I am! You are trying to control me!" whenever he would call me a mean name and I'd say don't call me a mean name! "You can't tell me how I can and can't talk!" mind-blowing.

  • @archanamehtapatel6469
    @archanamehtapatel64697 ай бұрын

    I had a narcissist husband and a mother a covert narcisstic. I fell ill physically snd left the marriage . I almost lost my life . I turned to spirituality found peace being alone now . But I have to go help my old mom back to covert . I feel very disrespected by both of them . I am a survivor always running from one to another . Best place is with God

  • @karlashmeedavlasta6365
    @karlashmeedavlasta63659 ай бұрын

    In my relationship I never got validated even once! Always felt like talking to a vacuum, and saying something really stupid, too But one time she said, that in her job, as a care giver to people with dementia, how important it is, that she validated them no matter what.... This left me really bamboozled. Now I knew, that she knew the concept of validation....but me, she still wasn't. Hurtful, abusive...done my share, now I am doing no contact for good.

  • @joseenoel8093

    @joseenoel8093

    9 ай бұрын

    Good, only a person with dementia would be impressed by her anyway!

  • @fruitypopwhickle6806

    @fruitypopwhickle6806

    8 ай бұрын

    I 1000% understand and relate. Being invalidated makes you feel like you don't exist. Hurts to know that they did it on purpose.

  • @paulastarkey9973

    @paulastarkey9973

    6 ай бұрын

    Good for you. It's one of their weapons to flag capacity for respect just not for you.

  • @murrayshomeforwaywardchick9182

    @murrayshomeforwaywardchick9182

    5 ай бұрын

    They're all cut from the same cloth. I guarantee she told you about her role as a caregiver as a passive-aggressive way to tell you that not only does she know what validation is, but that she knows she's deliberately withholding it from you and wants you to know she is, just to further poke at you. Death by a thousand cuts. They're sadistic as fuck!

  • @kathleen4611

    @kathleen4611

    3 ай бұрын

    God bless your heart honestly I waited 10 years for validation to this day I can't believe it just a trick to f*** with my mind.

  • @HzFvr
    @HzFvr7 ай бұрын

    We MUST learn to recognize the signs, especially of a covert! Each narc thinks they are special and unique, but they ALL HAVE THE SAME PATTERNS !

  • @jolene7256
    @jolene72569 ай бұрын

    The narc in my life turned the television as high as it would go to drown me out. Now, years later, we have no conversations . Why bother? I have nothing to say to him.

  • @narcicide8814

    @narcicide8814

    8 ай бұрын

    Walk away from him forever starting today. Don't waste another moment of your precious time and life with this piece of trash.

  • @anapantelic782

    @anapantelic782

    Ай бұрын

    How many times have I been there? Fun isn’t it? I finally divorced him 20 years ago and left the country. Now I don’t give a damn.

  • @jenniferwilson5918
    @jenniferwilson59189 ай бұрын

    When I tried to ask my Ex what we could do for my Birthday, he would say, "What are you going to do for me? SERIOUSLY????

  • @diamondmonique7974

    @diamondmonique7974

    3 ай бұрын

    Omg mine said this too smh

  • @kathleen4611

    @kathleen4611

    3 ай бұрын

    Just an idiot.

  • @i.l.9546

    @i.l.9546

    Ай бұрын

    When I asked him the night before my birthday dinner to have a look if everyone is ok during that Event he was "Why would I. I am a guest". I left him 😊

  • @1missy40

    @1missy40

    Ай бұрын

    Omdssss I don’t know how you women stay with these prunes 😮 we are the PRIZE not them fooeeelllllssss 🎉

  • @CaseyLee-bd5fi
    @CaseyLee-bd5fi9 ай бұрын

    Yes. Total disinterest in my happy stories but love to hear drama or negativity. Especially if they get you talking about their victimhood

  • @Liz-in8lu

    @Liz-in8lu

    3 ай бұрын

    Wow, yeah! I tell them about something positive, I get crickets. I complain about something and they are there listening. Of course take the focus off me and talk more about it.

  • @RiaLucky
    @RiaLucky9 ай бұрын

    Empaths and Narcissist.. idk why they cross paths. Just soo sooo soooooo disastrous

  • @joseenoel8093

    @joseenoel8093

    9 ай бұрын

    Cuz no one else will put up with them even if it's for a little while like we do, lucky us!

  • @homespace1268

    @homespace1268

    9 ай бұрын

    Two narcissists together works as they are both evil but then it's double the trouble for all of their ex's as they will both continue to use and abuse their ex's... it's sick.

  • @staceyhelsley1077
    @staceyhelsley10779 ай бұрын

    I remember being out to dinner & having a conversation with my Narc, he would stop listening to me & watch another woman walk past us & say “you should wear that” Yep don’t miss that at all!

  • @murrayshomeforwaywardchick9182
    @murrayshomeforwaywardchick91828 ай бұрын

    This is exactly what my significant other has done to me for years. He has a constant yawning habit that I call him out for all the time, or he stretches, but a lot of times he literally picks up his phone and starts looking at it in the middle of my talking or walks out of the room mid sentence.

  • @Melly16yr10

    @Melly16yr10

    4 ай бұрын

    Dump him but do it quietly

  • @Luxie296
    @Luxie2968 ай бұрын

    I think every child of narcissistic parents develop that 'I'm sorry look' to the people their parents encounter. I always felt embarrassed and ashamed of how my parents spoke to and treated other people. They were condescending and rude.

  • @melissagray8411
    @melissagray84118 ай бұрын

    Thank you for your vulnerability. I'm 52 and the best thing I've done for my recovery from alcohol is to grey rock my mom.

  • @AmberBlackerby
    @AmberBlackerby8 ай бұрын

    When I would be driving us somewhere that I didn’t know the way very well - he was supposed to be telling me which way to go, but he would stop giving directions so that I would end up going the wrong way and he would yell at me for not knowing what I was doing or not asking him. But he already knew he was supposed to be giving directions and was in the beginning. He did this so many times just to have a reason to start and argument and upset me

  • @lastthingsministry

    @lastthingsministry

    5 ай бұрын

    Never rely on them for anything. Next time make sure you know where are driving to so he can't abuse you like this.

  • @cherryred5835
    @cherryred58359 ай бұрын

    They try to make you feel incompetent!

  • @ShalimarPicasso
    @ShalimarPicasso8 ай бұрын

    Great video. When I announced to my now ex narc husband that I was pregnant [a child we both wanted and waited for], he looked at me as if I had invited him to a funeral. No words, no congratulations, no flowers, just a poker face without any emotion. It's only weeks later on when his family called me to congratulate me, and I was told that he was "overjoyed "!....he told all his family how happy he was and to me - nothing....

  • @naturalhealingmexico

    @naturalhealingmexico

    8 ай бұрын

    They never celebrate your happiness, but rather they want to take it away from you with their pathetic emotionless attitudes, I am an path and I mimic them when in front of me, I am proudly narcphobic. They are very insecure so easy to punch them around with a bit of psychological acupuncture. They feel nothing either way...

  • @Godismystrength2222

    @Godismystrength2222

    7 ай бұрын

    The way they treat their "family" is always going to be different than how they treat their significant other :( . It's such a strange dynamic. They must appear as a Saint to the outside world while their spouse bears the brunt of their hypersensitivity and emotional constipation.

  • @irenahabe2855

    @irenahabe2855

    5 ай бұрын

    Same here. Was not talking to me about my pregnancy, the baby... but this was the top topic at this work. 🤦‍♀️

  • @AllNicTaken
    @AllNicTaken9 ай бұрын

    We don’t need their respect. We just need to move on

  • @jenniferwilson5918
    @jenniferwilson59189 ай бұрын

    My Ex used to always yawn, look at his nails or phone as I was telling him a story or something important. He would also talk over me, interrupt me, or just walk away. He never looked me in the eye.

  • @gate7551

    @gate7551

    8 ай бұрын

    Same

  • @user-ib7bd2ry8w
    @user-ib7bd2ry8w7 ай бұрын

    I am 56 years old and no matter what I have done or how hard I try I could or can't make my dad proud of me. He doesn't like any gifts I may give him, he puts them down. I have stopped trying to make him proud, I have stopped trying to get any validation from him. I reached a point that I don't need it. I can be proud of myself and know that I did my best within my abilities. Reaching this point, I have to give God all the credit. My peace is more precious than needing validation from my dad.

  • @jasonkresock2196
    @jasonkresock21968 ай бұрын

    You nailed this. My experience was even more “covert “ with it. It was a sloooow drip of torture. It took me a while to catch it through negative feelings, see it, accept it, and navigate my exit. Now I’m experiencing cyber stalking and surprise meetings dripping with victimization and blame. May Every Soul Find Escape

  • @fatiss8595

    @fatiss8595

    8 ай бұрын

    Say less friend💔🩹 👁👀🙄 🙏⛓

  • @wangiseruni

    @wangiseruni

    7 ай бұрын

    True. That cyber stalking...and he's an IT person so, it's not working to block every of his cloning.

  • @paulastarkey9973

    @paulastarkey9973

    6 ай бұрын

    They love to play martyr.

  • @eleonorabartoli2225
    @eleonorabartoli22259 ай бұрын

    Yes, it is strange that they do not care enough for you to help you prevent a mistake, and the pain that goes with it.

  • @ladyloungealot5119
    @ladyloungealot51199 ай бұрын

    The person I am talking about, used to do the following: On the phone, when my turn to talk came, I was telling her about something important to me. After a minute or two, I could hear her... talking to somebody else! She just put the phone aside, and I was talking to an empty space. How disrespectful was that. On other occasions, she would use the speaker without warning me that a crowd was listening to something potentially private. She would also inform me that she was not interested in my problems, so I was not to bother her, because she had her own. At the same time she used me as a shoulder to cry on.

  • @sashaclarke2749

    @sashaclarke2749

    7 ай бұрын

    Three family members do this to me!😩

  • @edemontfort9482
    @edemontfort94829 ай бұрын

    This explains why they fall all over and worship anyone who flatters them and takes their side. Their flying monkey who gangs up with them to attack someone or make that person feel unimportant or intimidated.

  • @lisamr40
    @lisamr409 ай бұрын

    My entire life, I grew up with being interrupted. I would be talking, and my parents would just start talking to others. I would have to say, "umm HELLO, I was talking!!" Then I met my husband. I try to talk to him and he justeither doesnt listen at all, claiming he didnt hear me or he interrupts me. Usually, he butts in and starts with his negative thoughts about what i was trying to discuss with him. I swear he does it on purpose so we wont talk to him about anything. So he doesnt have to be responsible for anything. Sad thing is, he not only does it to me but he does this crap to all 4 of his kids. None of them want to deal with him. Thanks Danish. Before i wasnt sure what was going on. Now, that you have dicussed it, it makes sense!

  • @bewarefalsenonprofits
    @bewarefalsenonprofits4 ай бұрын

    Southern Psychos always pull this move: I'm praying for you. I've put you on my church's prayer list. (This is without your solicitation). I've had several witches that commited identity theft and grant fraud using MY teaching credentials, college degree, resume and lesson plans, etc. CALL my family, ex-husband, childhood friends and current employer because they are "worried" about my well being. This was out of the blue, there had been zero confrontation,.etc. I didn't know about the grant fraud/identity theft AND I didn't find out years after their false concern, that raised all kinds of flags about my mental health and well being.

  • @user-kz7dh5tv7j
    @user-kz7dh5tv7j9 ай бұрын

    No more unappreciated gifts 👋

  • @laurengarrett9005
    @laurengarrett90058 ай бұрын

    On our anniversary I gave him a nice gift and he didn't get me anything but he happened to buy himself speakers for his car and he said "you can have these speakers." I never asked for speakers . He never put any thought into a gift. It was insulting.

  • @einstein63
    @einstein639 ай бұрын

    They just 'tune out' when other people talk about things that don't involve them. Once my Narc was with me visiting his 'old' friends. They were talking about some noise issues they were having from a nearby sawmill and that they had complained to the council about it but nothing had been resolved. When they finished telling the whole story, my narc asked them why they didn't complain to the council?????? I just had to blurt out that they had already said that! He was quick to reply..Of course😜😜 He had not listened to a word they had said....pretty funny but of course I couldn't laugh out loud...just inside my head 🤣🤣

  • @anneofgreengables1619
    @anneofgreengables16197 ай бұрын

    This thing with the gifts just happened recently to me. I went to Ireland and brought him back a special baseball cap from the Guinness store which was quite expensive. When I gave it to him he just sat there looking at it with the poker face you describe. He didn't even say thank you. Time froze for me. I was in disbelief at his attitude. I have since gone no contact because I've had enough of this horrible behavior.

  • @familyofmany4646
    @familyofmany46467 ай бұрын

    Looking at their watch repeatedly 😭 Even when he wasn’t wearing a watch. Then getting mad at ME for pointing out that fact. He vehemently denied it for the longest time, and then I got it on video once and the rage I saw in him was just scary. Thank you Danish for making me feel validated and somewhat sane ❤️

  • @Lyrielonwind
    @Lyrielonwind9 ай бұрын

    They always love interrupting you and they can keep questioning without listening and interrupt you continually until you are confused and uncomfortable. They will cut off whoever talks to you from the beginning. They allow them to ask how are you and when you are about to answer, they will call them or ask that person a question so you are excluded.

  • @sashaclarke2749

    @sashaclarke2749

    7 ай бұрын

    Soo freaking true!

  • @junebuggy8498

    @junebuggy8498

    5 ай бұрын

    My father pretty much, he will do this till he gets a concession or the answer he wants, there is no real discussion.

  • @goddessv7236
    @goddessv72369 ай бұрын

    The narc demon did all 3 , i would speak and it would start talking to someone else at the same time , so now when that narc tries to talk i walk off or i start looking at my phone and watching skits, its gets an injury from that 😅, Gifts... i would buy that narc gifts and what danish said is 100% true, it had a look of disgrace on its face and acted like it didnt want the gifts, in the day i would ask if it liked them and it would say yes but... so i took back the gifts got my money back and i do not buy nothing for that demon, me and my children enjoy our birthdays and other occasions without that demon causing stress, we all ignore it sitting in the corner looking like a victim😅😅 I dont talk to it , i dont include it in our daily routines , i dont go anywhere with it, i see its begining to crumble its getting weaker! While i get stronger , never under estimate a powerful empath!

  • @happyclappy1805
    @happyclappy18052 ай бұрын

    Took me 50 years to realise that my favourite sister is a covert narc. We spent many years commiserating over our sister who is an overt, charismatic, bullying narc. Turns out that I have been the fool for decades, both of their supply. The covert narc has been supportive, lent me money, been my cheerleader in our narc family. Except she did that for as long as I didn't point out her own awful behaviours, critical spirit, lack of compassion, self absorptionand epic silent treatment . I called her out and instantly became exposed to her venom. 5 months later and we haven't spoken. And amazingly, I don't miss her. We used to speak daily, hang out every weekend, do vacations. Very intense. It's freed up space for other friends, interests and new energies. One day at a time

  • @m.f.richardson1602
    @m.f.richardson16029 ай бұрын

    My so called 'best friend' did this to Me all time. After starting my healing journey. I know now what she was doing. She died before I could cut her off. Rats

  • @homespace1268

    @homespace1268

    9 ай бұрын

    Lucky you!

  • @ericb8413
    @ericb84139 ай бұрын

    Plausible deniability is exactly what they do. It’s like trying to nail jello to the wall to confront them on their bad behavior because they just deny everything. It will make you feel crazy. Just remember you aren’t crazy and they know what they’re doing. Just get away from them if you can.

  • @olnasty

    @olnasty

    8 ай бұрын

    Darvo deny, accuse, reverse victim oppressor. Weird how they all do the same like they went to a class.

  • @shivawng749
    @shivawng7497 ай бұрын

    My husband will start talking before I am done. When confronted he says "oh I thought you were done" Like, did you still hear sounds coming out of my mouth? No I wasn't done. He does this so often

  • @lindamoore9729
    @lindamoore97299 ай бұрын

    My narcissist will turn the tv louder or change the channel and when I ask if he's listening to me he'll say he can do 2 things at the same time... can't you do that??? lol

  • @joseenoel8093

    @joseenoel8093

    9 ай бұрын

    Mine did something like that, I returned the noise favour/reminder at 3 a.m., adult teaching adult hard ball goes both ways!

  • @lindamoore9729

    @lindamoore9729

    9 ай бұрын

    The thing of it is that you will never win with them no matter what you do or say. It's best to just avoid them like the plague, stay away, have as little as possible to do with them so you don't pick up their nasty traits. They are evil!@@joseenoel8093

  • @Ninabeana13

    @Ninabeana13

    8 ай бұрын

    Wow same here, or he will completely not look at me and be scrolling on his phone, no acknowledgment or not even a nod. I’ll say do you even hear me. He’ll say the same thing “ what you can’t do 2 things at once?” Then I’ll ask him to repeat and he’ll say something like “ I don’t have to answer or acknowledge everything you say because you’re always talking all the time about nonsense “!!!

  • @lindamoore9729

    @lindamoore9729

    8 ай бұрын

    They never look at you when you're talking to them. I rarely talk to him unless it absolutely necessary and I stay in another room from him. I'm stuck here because of lack of money but I stay away from him as much as possible. Good friends are such an asset in my situation. I have one friend who is in the same position as I am and it's not possible to leave without causing more stress than we're already in, but if I were younger, (I'm 70) I would leave for sure!!@@Ninabeana13

  • @marciasimpson8852

    @marciasimpson8852

    8 ай бұрын

    Mine turned up the tv when His family was over. We were bothering him🙄

  • @user-ip7jg9hn2t
    @user-ip7jg9hn2t9 ай бұрын

    Being ungrateful is rude. If u receive a gift ur not fond of. Quietly send it back & get something g u like or want. It's ur gift, u can do what u want with it. He doesn't get to decide my likes & dislikes.

  • @MJG1
    @MJG18 ай бұрын

    Once my narcissist ex said: stop being so happy and smiley, i hate it when you are like this🥴. He always wanted everyone depressed because he was always stressed and depressed

  • @01splitpea
    @01splitpea9 ай бұрын

    My sister preferred the third tactic. She had google maps on her phone, but I was not yet familiar with it. We were attempting to find a destination I'd volunteered my old TomTom to locate. When we were nearly there, I discovered my TomTom was broken. I apologized profusely. Crickets. Embarrassed, I apologized again. Angry silence. I called our destination, but was given unintelligible directions. We drove around some more. I apologized again, groveling repeatedly. Still angry silence. Suddenly, after 20 minutes of this torture, sure I'd spoiled our entire day, and horribly embarassed at being terrible with technology, suddenly, she busts out her phone, pulls up google maps, and took us straight to our destination.

  • @Lyrielonwind

    @Lyrielonwind

    9 ай бұрын

    That's mean and evil 🙈

  • @marciasimpson8852

    @marciasimpson8852

    8 ай бұрын

    Evil.

  • @toritori5835
    @toritori58358 ай бұрын

    Having had that occur so often & know how small it makes me feel, I purposely become the _safety person_ when it occurs to others. When someone cuts another off or talks over them and their eyes search for someone to hear, I will always be that person whose eyes will meet theirs - even if I don’t really care or know them. It is one of the worst feelings to feel like you’re a non-person & that is how it makes you feel.

  • @freud5898
    @freud58989 ай бұрын

    Eventually, I would be amused when I saw them in action. One time all the kinfolks attended a wedding. The (disrespecting) narcissist saw me and decided I was the 'highest-ranking' person to sit/converse with. I knew other guests would soon arrive (that they considered to be higher ranking). I just waited and watched. Sure enough, the conversation shifted from me/anything I thought/said to the new arrivals. The narcissist suddenly got real quiet and moved away from me as soon as possible. At the reception, I didn't even rate a minute of their now-expanded attention. It was so comical, I didn't even care (since I was used to their carryings on by then). It pays to figure these people out ahead of time. Then, with lowered expectations, you can avoid taking so much of their behavior personally -- since THEIR behavior isn't YOUR fault.

  • @norcal1009

    @norcal1009

    9 ай бұрын

    So bazaar, and it's even scarier witnessing when they decide that THEY are the highest ranking (which is ultimately what they want apparently). Only a narcissist and/or psychopath thinks like this in my lifelong experience around people.

  • @joseenoel8093

    @joseenoel8093

    9 ай бұрын

    Right on, well said, once at dinner, Xmas no less, sis was talking about bro's big you know what and I split, grabbed a leg to watch TV 📺, wasn't sis then telling my new boyfriend (now husband and father of my 2 kids) that I was barren (huh?), I never even confronted her about it, their stupidity proceeds any worth having conversations, why waste your time?

  • @joseenoel8093

    @joseenoel8093

    9 ай бұрын

    ​@@norcal1009all fantasy, theirs! Imagine going through life like that, no wonder they're bent on brain washing us into submission, how else could we handle their crap! 😊

  • @monicarai1497

    @monicarai1497

    9 ай бұрын

    Yeap. True that 😅

  • @freud5898

    @freud5898

    8 ай бұрын

    @@norcal1009 How true!!! As I mentioned in a reply to a similar question, I especially enjoyed Alice Roosevelt Longworth's comical assessment of her own father, President Teddy Roosevelt. She said, "He wanted to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral." 😀

  • @ceecee6679
    @ceecee66799 ай бұрын

    My mother couldn't be bothered with my sister's death because the event couldn't be all about mother. Imagine a mother going to a hair appointment versus going to see her first born child who just woke from a coma. My sister, the one blamed for everything in our family, helped me to break free of our narcissist mother. Rock bottom, we hear it all the time, what does it take, well kids, death is not rock bottom for a narcissist.

  • @saraliburd7752

    @saraliburd7752

    9 ай бұрын

    Well my mother didn’t go to her sisters funeral and had a memorial gathering at her house🥴

  • @lmoree00

    @lmoree00

    8 ай бұрын

    Oh my goodness! Same here! My sister attempted suicide and was in the ICU hanging by a thread. My mother was only concerned about herself and her image as always. She didn't give a fuck that her child was gravely ill. She wasn't even gonna fly out to see her. She only went because she heard I was going and she didn't want to look bad.

  • @a.r.tavares1322

    @a.r.tavares1322

    6 ай бұрын

    @@lmoree00 Oh my God, I hope you sister fully recovered. Dealing with narcs really drains you.

  • @lmoree00

    @lmoree00

    6 ай бұрын

    @@a.r.tavares1322 thank you. My sister survived and lives with me now. She said she feels good mentally here with me and my cats 💚

  • @shellyfoust6812
    @shellyfoust68128 ай бұрын

    My mother talked for years about a certain coffee pot. I brought the exact one she wanted for Christmas. It was expensive and when she got it she put it on top of the refrigerator and never used it. I was upset that she never took it out of the box. I never got her anything else that was very expensive again because I felt it would not be appreciated. I felt she was very ungrateful.

  • @csc8697

    @csc8697

    8 ай бұрын

    That really weird. I could see how that would hurt your feelings.

  • @iamjustsaying4787

    @iamjustsaying4787

    7 ай бұрын

    @shellyfoust6812 Did you ever ask her why she didn’t use it?

  • @gracegwozdz8185
    @gracegwozdz81859 ай бұрын

    That's so my narc sister! To a T. As soon as I start talking she stretches, wretches, stares into iPad. Never listening.

  • @liyasha6562
    @liyasha65629 ай бұрын

    A person who calls herself a friend of mine often does point nr 1 to me. Just interrupts me when I start saying something about myself. And the worst thing she does is while I’m saying something she takes her phone and starts checking her Instagram or texting to someone 🙈

  • @rahasovereign9510

    @rahasovereign9510

    8 ай бұрын

    She’s not a friend. Get rid of her. You don’t need someone like that in your life.

  • @aartivyas7190
    @aartivyas71909 ай бұрын

    A woman I called mother did it to me all my life. Not too long ago I couldn't tolerate her disrespect anymore.

  • @FlowersAmazing

    @FlowersAmazing

    8 ай бұрын

    Yes... evil ppl... keep them away... how can a mother be that? Crazy!

  • @peppermintgirl572
    @peppermintgirl5728 ай бұрын

    When your mom or other people walks away and ignores you, like as if what u say is not important, how do cope and not let it bother you 😢?????!!!!

  • @xZOOMORPHICx
    @xZOOMORPHICx9 ай бұрын

    Whenever my covert narc wife tries to cook I'll simply point out something basic so that it doesn't get ruined, in the moment. I've been cooking for and baking for 25 years and have been employed in kitchens and bakeries in the past. I know my way around the kitchen. Need a full Thanksgiving dinner from scratch? I can make it happen. My wife attempted to cook hot dogs and put the frying pan on the stove at full blast. I simply explained that the pan will be way too hot and that the hot dogs will burn as well as the pan and that medium or even medium low heat would be best. She knows NOTHING about cooking yet will still try to verbally explain why her way is better "I like it well done". I'd explain that burnt and well done are different things. She insisted with some nonsensical reasoning. It'd be like her trying to tell a meteorologist about why the weather will be a certain way. Anyway, our apartment building at the time had 12 units, a nice place, and nice smoke detectors. Four freaking fire trucks with a whole team of fully dressed fire fighters. The smoke alarms in the common areas were linked directly to the fire department and were automatically dispatched, all because she insisted that she knew how to cook hot dogs in a frying pan. For context, I've baked in that same kitchen and I've pan cooked steaks in that kitchen many times and never had the fire department dispatched, that's how bad those hotdogs were burnt. The pan was ruined. One of many, many idiotic and stubborn decisions I've witnessed.

  • @norcal1009

    @norcal1009

    9 ай бұрын

    I know exactly how frustrating this is. I always feel like I have to 'dumb down' around them. It is not exciting or even mildly stimulating, and I consider myself an average thinker. Mental illness is definitely deceptive.

  • @edemontfort9482

    @edemontfort9482

    9 ай бұрын

    Narcissists know everything better than anyone else. When they screw up they immediately point the finger at you. It's never their fault and they're never wrong. If they're cornered and there's no escaping their mistake they'll Say that everyone is jealous and trying to make them look bad. It's a no win.

  • @norcal1009

    @norcal1009

    9 ай бұрын

    @edemontfort9482 totally, they sound like a 'broken record', as it seems to apply to everything and everyone in the world but them.

  • @dark7angel456

    @dark7angel456

    8 ай бұрын

    That sounds funny kind of.

  • @xZOOMORPHICx

    @xZOOMORPHICx

    8 ай бұрын

    @@dark7angel456 lol, yes i can definitely appreciate the humor in it.

  • @isabelolsson1890
    @isabelolsson18909 ай бұрын

    I have gone through everything that you mentioned, and I know and remember how painful and humiliating it was, they would say.... Didn't I deserve anything better.... more expensive.....God knows they did not deserve a thing... ❤

  • @nji7772
    @nji77728 ай бұрын

    He kept me "seperate" from everyone while in public! Placing himself between me and all others. He could not stand anyone talking to me.

  • @user-ep3ed5jd7q
    @user-ep3ed5jd7q6 ай бұрын

    Yes, it is truly a minefield of disrespect and cruel down-putting. Going gray rock doesn’t make the pain and post-humiliation go away.

  • @hannahhigg2270
    @hannahhigg22709 ай бұрын

    Thank you very much. Point 3, they don't only watch you do the mistakes, they lead you into it, sometimes turn a blind eye when they see something wrong, and mention it publicly so that everyone agrees with them that you're wrong. Meanwhile, it's them, always them due to jealousy. Thank you very much ❤

  • @viralcuts2208

    @viralcuts2208

    8 ай бұрын

    Yes same thing happened to me.

  • @Mo_Lake

    @Mo_Lake

    7 ай бұрын

    "They lead you into it"....just to make sure it is fulfilled....that's kind of evil isn't it!!!!!!!!

  • @hannahhigg2270

    @hannahhigg2270

    7 ай бұрын

    Yes they are master in their craftiness, they plan and execute it, as they watch to see, each of their evil act being fulfilled. But God won't allow them

  • @Mo_Lake

    @Mo_Lake

    7 ай бұрын

    The Omnipotent won't allow such in a long run, and that's what It is period!! I saw it happen in my life and He answers very quick. It was just under a year with me and the devil when He responded to all of the idiotic moved that was made on me.

  • @CarolOwen-cj4sq
    @CarolOwen-cj4sq9 ай бұрын

    I put up with my son and his wife only to look at my grandkids. She has done her best to keep the kids from me

  • @jessicawerling9495
    @jessicawerling94959 ай бұрын

    Woooow 😮 Thank you! That first point especially resonates for me. Gah! It's so frustrating to be suddenly ignored or interrupted like that. I think, "Were you ever listening? You said you wanted to get closer and yet I feel completely invisible now." 🙄 Thank you for your videos, Danish. They are very helpful and healing.

  • @arjitasinghal3998
    @arjitasinghal39989 ай бұрын

    1# Whenever i used to talk to that narc or with other family member, she used to start yawning or laughing or changing topics and nobody give a shit about this derogatory behaviour of hers now I stop talking to anyone in family. Living alone in between them. 2# Everytime or anytime I have tried to do some good for her as a gesture of respect she always belittled me , made fun of me, Gaslighted me, demean me by saying couple of things. Untill few months ago, before I found about d whole new World of narcissism, I used to thought that this person is simply thankless nd evil. 3# that shallow laughing knowing that u r doing something wrong or forget something to take u, to belittle you was always there, I myself have faced this so many times and saw that narc person doing this with others also. So I think I can conclude that this narc in my life is covert narc, d most dangerous type of narcissist. I pray to God everyday to plz give me strength nd means to leave this place asap nd for forever. My mental health is only deteriorating here everyday, every second of time.

  • @joseenoel8093
    @joseenoel80939 ай бұрын

    Covert mom had her doctor, family, neighbours, even her social worker (via adult protection) believing I had power of attorney, hhhmmm should that be taken as a sign? 🤔 Oh well, ward of the state now, see ya never Mom, locked up is locked up! 🙃

  • @deborahpeden4289
    @deborahpeden42899 ай бұрын

    My daughter will not talk to me because I will not give her money. She is 53 years old and she thinks I owe money to her because she is my daughter.

  • @h5215
    @h52159 ай бұрын

    2nd point I experienced 1st as well So unfortunate to have dealt with narcissists my whole life. I believed the crocodile tears to be true realisation and got trapped very badly that it destroyed all aspects of my life. Never ever trust a crying female narcissist.

  • @MotorcyclePhaedrus
    @MotorcyclePhaedrus8 ай бұрын

    I had an aunt adress me in a very curt and uncharacteristically dismissive manner, in front of other people at a function. I always saw her as a "salt of the earth, goody -two- shoes" type, if that makes sense. In the moment i would have experienced less shock and confusion if she had publically slapped me. I could not work through the cognitive dissonance whenever she behaved in this manner, but after twenty years i intuited that this was who she truly was. She excersised no accountability for her actions, she trivialized and gaslit, but i still feel guilty for walking away. This video also brings up a lot of subtle vibes i picked up at work over years. It is true, your body tells you the truth, your thoughts and emotions can lead you astray but your body does not.

  • @CherrysJubileeJoyfully
    @CherrysJubileeJoyfully9 ай бұрын

    The cruel nickname because it is your initials

  • @paulbrouyere1735
    @paulbrouyere17359 ай бұрын

    You really are a good healer. I’m getting into my power again. Thank you!

  • @NatEl-xq2zd
    @NatEl-xq2zd7 ай бұрын

    Yes he was always yawning during those times when we should’ve been getting closer.

  • @Sidmimo
    @Sidmimo8 ай бұрын

    Thank you for saying “ you don’t need to prove it “. At a point I was soo confused,helpless and bashed down that I seeked validation from people around me and no one really did give me that.

  • @kimberly5465
    @kimberly54658 ай бұрын

    This hit hard. I always internalized it all. I see it now.

  • @ashleymcnutt750
    @ashleymcnutt7509 ай бұрын

    I tried anticipating my father's wants. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm wrong in his eyes. I'm just a big disabled burden with 2 kids. I grew up with my father as a narcissist & then had a daughter with another narcissist. Only to move back in with my father due to epilepsy..

  • @wms72

    @wms72

    9 ай бұрын

    May Jesus heal you. He healed my friend's daughter of epilepsy. Pray to Him. IN NOMINE PATRIS ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI. +AMEN

  • @user-to1mk2um3h

    @user-to1mk2um3h

    9 ай бұрын

    I am So sorry 😢 for you. I wish you a good Health and I hope you are glad to have a daughter 😊. Be Happy 😃 and Healthy. Efrat. Israel

  • @ashleymcnutt750

    @ashleymcnutt750

    9 ай бұрын

    AMEN! I am beyond grateful for my daughter! She is AMAZING & so smart!! She wants to work in the medical field to help me. 💗

  • @jans724
    @jans7247 ай бұрын

    This first point was very interesting! I have noticed this in a person I have suspected of being a narcissist. This is a really good indication!

  • @charlie-girl72
    @charlie-girl729 ай бұрын

    Many details in this,happend to me. Parents, ex hub , former in laws. Fake friends. I'm glad to be without most of them. My journey isn't over yet.. thank you danish

  • @mercherolvaag4717
    @mercherolvaag47179 ай бұрын

    Amazing! I have (now estranged) relatives who used to engage in the same ignoring behaviors. I also have a co-worker who does the same thing. Also, he has a strange habit of acting like he is in pain while doing it. He refers often to an old combat injury that he got many years ago. That is something that I must respect in the environment where I work. He uses it for manipulative purposes for sure, and to win favor with superiors who feel sorry for him and honor his service. I didn't know that such behaviors were actually part of a cluster. I thought that this was just an idiosyncrasy of his alone. Very informative insight, and helpful.

  • @joseenoel8093

    @joseenoel8093

    9 ай бұрын

    Funny I just had the back door slam on my ankle walking out barefoot, it is painful but to see it happen to covert mom she'd be hoping on one foot as if her foot was broken or something, they're always in need of exaggerated attention.

  • @primitivedogs4638

    @primitivedogs4638

    9 ай бұрын

    My married friend asked me for The reciept to go and complan about The pot plant she got from me. She is remarried with my ex now. She worked to take over my housband in years.

  • @Tawanda99
    @Tawanda997 ай бұрын

    Danish, you are such an empath, I’m so glad you broke the cycle of your narcissistic family! I so enjoy your informative videos. I can resonate with all of them and it helps me feel that I’m not alone. My feelings are warranted! Thank you and God bless✝️

  • @dark7angel456
    @dark7angel4568 ай бұрын

    I have hundreds of these narcissistic people targeting me and they know exactly what they're doing but I know exactly what they're doing and I figured them out sooner than I thought so they also do play the victim game every single time. Also when I started to become more confident in my findings other games my family would start to get more strangely worse and so would hundreds of other people online and offline

  • @andersdottir1111
    @andersdottir11116 ай бұрын

    If someone told me on receiving a gift that they ‘didn’t like it and consult me first’ - I’d never give that person a gift again. That’s just plain rude. I’ve received many gifts I particularly don’t like and I’d never say that - I just regift that gift or donate it to a charity shop.

  • @SharkE747
    @SharkE7479 ай бұрын

    You're my favorite teacher. ❤ Thank you!

  • @namastea

    @namastea

    9 ай бұрын

    I agree.

  • @f.frederickskitty2910
    @f.frederickskitty29107 ай бұрын

    My husband's response no matter what the gift is, "It's okay". 😢

  • @kayinattv1
    @kayinattv19 ай бұрын

    Absolutely True 💯 Witnessed This Behavior

  • @carolynstogner730
    @carolynstogner730Ай бұрын

    MY NARC HUSBAND HAS TOLD ME NUMEROUS TIMES, IN FRONT OF OTHERS, "WHY SHOULD I LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU SAY...NOTHING YOU SAY IS IMPORTANT!" AND THIS GREAT ONE... "YOU'RE RIGHT, THE WHOLE WORLD DOES REVOLVE AROUND ME!"

  • @touchofgrace3217
    @touchofgrace32177 ай бұрын

    And just like that, a 12 minute video on dealing with Covert Narcissism is summed up beautifully and precisely…it is a psychological death by a thousand cuts. My mother just turned 74 and is becoming more hateful, nasty, and spiteful by the hour.

  • @kalliopis.
    @kalliopis.16 күн бұрын

    Every video of you absolutely describes parts of my life. This is the behaviour of my sister. I grew up with narcissistic mother and sister. Only you can understand me. You help me the most, you are the best about nancissism . I wish angels always take care of you! 🙏 Thank you.

  • @DaughterofZyion
    @DaughterofZyion9 ай бұрын

    You feel their vibes, definitely

  • @CarolOwen-cj4sq
    @CarolOwen-cj4sq9 ай бұрын

    I have a friend that whenI talk she looks drowsy. I ask her if she is tired😂😂😂😂

  • @rosina5835
    @rosina58359 ай бұрын

    My mother always acting nervous, when I want to tell her something. She cant never sit still. Alway looking at the clock acting as she is in a hurry.

  • @Grace-mg8kv
    @Grace-mg8kv8 ай бұрын

    All that you said is correct when spotlight not in them or if you are calling them out. They try and distract them rage if you won’t let it go. They are sick

  • @csc8697
    @csc86978 ай бұрын

    Ive had the very thing happened to me that you discribed about conversation. I had a friend that would get in-between me & whomever I was talking to & turn her back to me & start talking to the person. Changing the conversation. The person I was talking to was as surprised as myself. Very rude. Controling.

  • @karenhart2923
    @karenhart29238 ай бұрын

    these people are NASTY .... still learning how to navigate myself through the bs

  • @mahiaggarwal6286
    @mahiaggarwal62868 ай бұрын

    My mom is a covert narc. Few days back, I was showing her the list of songs I sang. She heard them, but said that she doesn't hear anything properly, and she didn't even appreciate me or anything. She just said that tune voice is loud than your voice.

  • @HamlinKelley
    @HamlinKelleyКүн бұрын

    we were on a walk with our dogs, both of us had one earbud in and listening to our own music, she started talking about this house for sale we passed, i turned around to answer her and she started singing along to the song in her ear and looking all around…when i told her she was being rude, she told me i was being a disrespectful child…🙄

  • @ND-or5so
    @ND-or5so8 ай бұрын

    There doesn't have to be anyone in the room for the covert narcissist to show disrespect. He does it comfortably. You have been kind and respectful to him and he Will pull that at any time he feels like it. (think about how abusive and sick that is) That's why they are so bad for your health to begin with.

  • @marilynlorraine
    @marilynlorraine8 ай бұрын

    my manager will literally turn his back if I say anything during one of his monologues. My mother would just start talking over my father when he was speaking to me, or anyone else. Eventually I would shush her.

  • @higherlove8886
    @higherlove88868 ай бұрын

    Any time the covert narc I knew was caught in an uncomfortable situation, he would make this face 😬

  • @SJD36
    @SJD369 ай бұрын

    I have had situations like what you described with giving gifts . It actually caused gift giving to give me stress and that is not how it should be. I noticed recently that I am getting better and feeling the cheer and joy again that should come with giving. I am not in close relationship anymore with those who wont receive from me and that has helped.