3 Surprising Reasons Why You Have No Childhood Memories ft. Dr. Nicole LePera | Mel Robbins Podcast

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In this episode, you will learn how to deepen your #healing by understanding how your parents may have created silent trauma that is still impacting you as an adult.
Meet Dr. Nicole LePera, a renowned psychologist and #1 New York Times bestselling author, who you may know as @TheHolisticPsychologist.
Today, we are digging into #parenting styles and how your childhood experiences (whether you remember them or not) are still impacting the way you respond to stress as an adult.
The research and tools in this conversation will help you understand not only why it’s so easy to get triggered- but also how to deepen your healing journey now that you do.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you'll learn:
00:00 Intro
05:18 Why so many of us feel stuck, according to Dr. Nicole LaPera
11:33 What those feelings of being on “autopilot” really mean.
14:01 The definition of Emotional Immaturity and what it really means.
24:45 Mel’s personal story around emotional immaturity.
30:29 The reality of survival mode and the emotional impact it has generationally.
39:09 What’s an emotionally immature parent and how do you know if you had one?
46:35 Childhood amnesia - What the heck is that?
47:36 Here are 3 reasons why you don’t have many childhood memories.
48:53 Do you need to remember your past trauma to recognize it in yourself?
53:35 What you need to know about healing and processing emotion.
54:55 What do psychologists mean by “dysregulated nervous system?”
1:11:55 Is trauma only for those who’ve lived through a big, horrific event?
1:20:56 Why childhood trauma does not come back as a feeling but it comes back with a reaction.
1:26:34 What does it look like in real life when you start to heal your nervous system.
1:29:57 Here is why the silent treatment can be harmful.
1:35:19 The definition of transactional love.
1:43:44 Here’s your first tactical step toward healing your body and mind.
1:50:30 Feeling cynical about your own healing process? You need to hear this.
Listen to the #podcast episode “Why Do I Have Few Memories From Childhood? Deepen Your Healing & Find Answers With Dr. Nicole LePera” - link.chtbl.com/DAinFkFf?sid=e...
More episode information: www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/e...
#childhoodtrauma #healingtrauma
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Пікірлер: 306

  • @melrobbins
    @melrobbins5 ай бұрын

    I always learn so much from Dr. Nicole LePera @TheHolisticPsychologist. If you really enjoyed today’s guest too, give this video a like!

  • @DanielaRosenrot
    @DanielaRosenrot4 ай бұрын

    I always wonder why so many people, that have experienced so much stress in childhood and as adults, have the need to make babies without thinking "would i really be a good parent?" "Can I truely give all my attention to that child for the next 18 years?". I think its because of several reasons: Subconsciously they want the baby to make them happy - what a burden to the child. Or they think its just the right thing because all humans make babies. There are other reasons too. But I have always had critical thoughts about bearing children and the work it involves. For a child to have a save childhood you have to be present on all levels - always.

  • @vickyhut
    @vickyhut6 ай бұрын

    This is called Childhood emotional neglect!! I’m in counseling now for this very issue… thank you for this podcast!!

  • @karrieforsling3388
    @karrieforsling33886 ай бұрын

    I have been shaming and blaming myself my whole life. I am 59 and have been recreating an awful life. My depression is starting to lift from finally learning why I am the way I am. Thank you for cleaning the path for us all.

  • @paulinamorales161
    @paulinamorales161 Жыл бұрын

    OMG!!!!! same here, unpredictable, rageful mom, i became avoidant, totally disconnected from my body, my emotions, have a lot of trouble to feel connected to people, honestly i feel like i just can not do it, there's this very deep feeling of loneliness... and i also think that there's something wrong with my brain because there's so much i cant remember, even now that im aware and i conciously try, like, names, faces, events....

  • @kristenamrhein3906

    @kristenamrhein3906

    Жыл бұрын

    Same ❤️

  • @stefaniejohnson4657

    @stefaniejohnson4657

    Жыл бұрын

    Yep. Me too.

  • @lis9556

    @lis9556

    Жыл бұрын

    Yup

  • @Noname-hs5lx

    @Noname-hs5lx

    Жыл бұрын

    Cptsd

  • @marymilo9916

    @marymilo9916

    Жыл бұрын

    Yep. Me too x

  • @nineangels7572
    @nineangels7572 Жыл бұрын

    We didn't have counseling, open conversations, we kept everything inside. That was the 60's & 70's for me. Now, we can get help & it's everywhere, books, webinars, zoom, telehealth, in person counseling.

  • @crye-leikerealtor-reneeste972

    @crye-leikerealtor-reneeste972

    4 ай бұрын

    O 0❤

  • @amandamariemuise
    @amandamariemuise Жыл бұрын

    So last night I’m on the couch crying, talking to my husband because I feel so empty and wondering why my purpose in this world is. Well, here comes the universe with a whole bunch of answers this morning for me to begin working on. Thank you for this podcast. Here I go to create change.

  • @soshea5655

    @soshea5655

    Жыл бұрын

    Me too! I’m 42 u got this!❤

  • @dustang5.O

    @dustang5.O

    10 ай бұрын

    That’s not the universe sending those answers. It’s soooo obviously the divine creator, God. The universe doesn’t give two shits about you or anyone else.

  • @Jens0215
    @Jens0215 Жыл бұрын

    When I read “How to Do the Work” and got to the part about dissociation, a lightbulb of stadium proportions went off in my head! OMFG, THAT’S WHY I DON’T REMEMBER!!!! My childhood was so chaotic, that I was never in my body 😢

  • @grizeldaxxx4568

    @grizeldaxxx4568

    5 ай бұрын

    I hear You!!

  • @kathybridges3343
    @kathybridges3343 Жыл бұрын

    Everything you’ve said is me, I’m 66 and feel nothing. The childhood was awful to the point I was non functional in my early twenties.now I go constantly and try not to think. I don’t know any other way to do it

  • @Christinalight219
    @Christinalight219 Жыл бұрын

    I am in awe and so grateful that I came across this conversation. Wow. Without exaggeration you may have just shifted and changed my life and my children’s lives in such a new positive healthy way. I’m not in a finically situation to be able to afford therapy or speaking events that I’d be able to afford this amount of powerful wisdom and transformational insights so I am so beyond grateful for both of you and the entire team for making this available for the world. For someone like me. Thank you.

  • @dlrowadkcuf

    @dlrowadkcuf

    8 ай бұрын

    🎉

  • @scarletts4221

    @scarletts4221

    7 ай бұрын

    I hope you've found the healing you needed. If not there are tons of community resources for a free space to talk, process and heal.

  • @paulalee2345

    @paulalee2345

    5 ай бұрын

    I totally agree!!! God bless them both for such awesome info!!! ❤

  • @ye77a
    @ye77a Жыл бұрын

    I was an hold soul in a child body , now I’m a child in a adult body , growing up is a full experience , confusing and at the same time full of learning process with emotions .

  • @msharic85

    @msharic85

    Жыл бұрын

    This explains my life perfectly! Like we "aged" backward!!

  • @leelorraineschafer6983
    @leelorraineschafer69834 ай бұрын

    I myself didn't realize that I hadn't emotionally grown up yet till I was around 30 as well!! I was also a single mother of five children at that time! Smh. but I started digging into myself and began the journey of self-accountability and awareness. Where I was developmentally arrested, stunted and in denial of most of my feelings. It took about 5 years to realize that I had never gotten over my abusive dad and his extreme lack of acknowledgment and display of affection to me. my kids got to actually watch me grow up, albeit a little too late, they did see the changes. And they responded to the more peaceful homelife themselves. unfortunately, I had made a major mistake in believing that my fourth daughter was extremely shy. She had a strong startle reflex even in playful situations, and would hide behind me often. Needless to say, she grew up with me believing she needed more protection because she was so shy and sensitive to her surroundings. She is an adult working through some of her own anxious attachments. And with her, I discovered that I had misunderstood her responses. Having believed she was shy, I protected her and only addressed the issue of shyness with repeated encouragement. BUT....she was actually fearful, unsettled, anxious and untrusting of the mostly manic household!! my other four children adapted well through our evolution, but she was the one I had obviously neglected most. Because of my inability to see her perspectives properly. Not to address them properly. I was so wrong. Yet now I see that she was the one who needed what I didn't get myself growing up! Funny, yet not funny. she's almost 40 and has done well learning to understand herself. She's a professional and a high achiever. And like myself, she's running par to the same time frame of reevaluating her emotional evolution, praise the Lord! She also forgot a lot of her childhood, unlike myself, but has a greater understanding of how she developed her on anxieties in the presence of her (unaware of what she needed), dysfunctional mother! We both love your videos very much! Thank you, thank you, Dr Nicole...♥️🎉🙏💯

  • @sunflowers6172

    @sunflowers6172

    2 ай бұрын

    Yes, I feel that this was me

  • @stefaniejohnson4657
    @stefaniejohnson4657 Жыл бұрын

    I am currently realizing that my poor memory, stomach issues and thyroid issues is my body still having trapped trauma that my brain suppresses. I may be mentally disconnecting but my body stores the layers (old and new) of trauma and grief. I feel flatlined with life, no sense of purpose. Gonna make some changes to stop this merry go round. Glad I listened to this..healing is a process and I have been in touch with my therapist again, will also request to do more EMDR sessions. There are so many of us humans that struggle with figuring out what the hell is going on with us internally. As I pray for my situation, will pray for all of you, too 🙏 ❤️🙏

  • @sunmi2233

    @sunmi2233

    8 ай бұрын

    This hit it in the nail for me. Same health issues and lack of memory. Feeling flatlined and no damn purpose. The struggle is unexplainable 😢

  • @ShellyBomb

    @ShellyBomb

    5 ай бұрын

    Hello: Feeling this too + developed hyperthyroidism after getting COVID in August 2023. I have so many memories from childhood I can't access or remember; while other siblings (real brother, two step brothers & a half brother remember). It's so strange to realize I have lots of gaps in my memory. It's January 6, 2024 and this conversation showed up for me; even tho I'm already subscribed to Mel's channel - need to listen & learn. Sending warm healing hugs to you both ~ ❤️‍🩹

  • @sue5158

    @sue5158

    4 ай бұрын

    Same health issues. Plus ibs.

  • @sunnyadams5842
    @sunnyadams5842 Жыл бұрын

    Amazing talk, you guys!! Mel- I'm your daughter right now. My parents have remained too immature to hear what I've discovered lately. It's been really hard to get beyond that. That my Gods are too weak to BEGIN to own ANY responsibility in the making of me. Thank you for validating my belief that my parents could choose to participate in healing themselves and our family. I WISH they would feel liberation in tolerating truth instead of drowning in fear and shame and denial. They took me down with them for awhile, till I almost died. The good news is I'm not going down with them anymore. That's their decision. Mine, in almost everything in life (LOL), is different. Thank God! Thank you, Dr Nicole, for normalizing some really painful shit!. You are beautiful and so articulate. You've helped me alot!! 💜💜💜

  • @kristenoneill8083
    @kristenoneill8083 Жыл бұрын

    Mel, I cried during this jaw dropping podcast. Thank you and Dr. Nicole for opening my eyes for what feels like the very first time. I’m 57 years old and this could answer my life’s question of WTF am I even here for. Yes, many years of therapy but this is some real truth! 🙏🏻

  • @katiewynn3926
    @katiewynn3926 Жыл бұрын

    apathy for me it is like a deep sadness that you cant describe in words and have to get back to the day to day things like work/job to survive. so you can’t fully express your emotions because of other priorities or lack of someone else to understand

  • @sophiesoulsister2222
    @sophiesoulsister2222 Жыл бұрын

    Omgosh! I'm 63 and many years ago I realized I don't remember alot from my childhood, teen years and I was thinking do I have a brain tumor, early dementia. However there are other things I remember vividly, amazing how our brain and body copes. Thank you, I'm not losing it.

  • @marilynholmes-reilley1457

    @marilynholmes-reilley1457

    6 ай бұрын

    No you are not loosing it! Try listening to childhood fairy podcasts or Complex PTSD.

  • @meaningfulmakings
    @meaningfulmakings Жыл бұрын

    How brave are you Mel? To have suffered as you did after the birth of your daughter only to suffer all over again with guilt. How amazing that we can heal eh? You and her. Not many would admit to not being Miss Perfect Mother, society doesn’t allow it. If society were more supportive of women who struggle when they have babies the world would be a much less painful place. You are an amazing being. Much love 💕 I wish all the healing in the world for your daughter and you.

  • @fitt_inglysammie1654
    @fitt_inglysammie1654 Жыл бұрын

    This is exactly what I'm going through right now . I'm 27 and completely out of touch with myself. Grew up in an abusive household full of alcoholics. I'm a child in a 27 year old body. I cried alot hearing that. I feel so lost and I've never bought a book so quickly. I'm ready to do the work and process these emotions. I just never knew how to start doing the intensive work.

  • @loria2685

    @loria2685

    Жыл бұрын

    Follow her on Instagram too! She posts really great stuff daily. The work that Dr Nicole is doing and the awareness Mel has brought are literal lifechangers. Best of luck to you!

  • @fitt_inglysammie1654

    @fitt_inglysammie1654

    Жыл бұрын

    @@loria2685 I will do that ! Thank you so much. 💓

  • @cindylubooks9723

    @cindylubooks9723

    Жыл бұрын

    YOU are young! You have the heart the tools to heal. I am 63 work in progress for sure. Knowing is helpful doing is a challenge but knowing is HUGE. I was told I was stuck at 63 I shared above in a comment. YOU are young! You are wise. MEl is here she is saving me. HUGS! HUGS and more HUGS keep moving forward. BE KIND to YOURSELF!

  • @fitt_inglysammie1654

    @fitt_inglysammie1654

    Жыл бұрын

    @@cindylubooks9723 I appreciate your kindness

  • @Sh0n0

    @Sh0n0

    Жыл бұрын

    To me her book was very basic and rudimentary covering very surface level knowledge, at least to me who had read some psychology previously. I highly recommend Pete Walker's book CPTSD from Surviving to Thriving, or even videos of him on youtube, he has been the most eye opening and helpful overall.

  • @JamieR
    @JamieR Жыл бұрын

    I also thought I was having early onset Alzheimers or Dementia. Learning about the connection to trauma a few months ago made so much sense and was a massive relief. It's hard to consolidate memories when chronically disassociated from the body.

  • @NikkiGregory

    @NikkiGregory

    Жыл бұрын

    Me too. I have no memories of birthdays, Christmas, vacations or anything. I feel like I just have this huge part of my life that is blank & didn’t exist.

  • @KB-ih5gf

    @KB-ih5gf

    Жыл бұрын

    I just realized that many of the memories I do have are merely memories of the photographs I’ve seen in family albums. I always wondered why I have no memories at all from being 10 to 13 or 14. Oddly enough I have very few memories of the years when my children were young and I was in an abusive marriage either.

  • @stefaniejohnson4657

    @stefaniejohnson4657

    Жыл бұрын

    Me too.

  • @Youngquavo2
    @Youngquavo27 ай бұрын

    I am figuring this out at 50yrs old.

  • @pamtewes5276
    @pamtewes5276 Жыл бұрын

    I cannot express just how many "aha" moments I had with this talk. I am RUNNING to a bookstore! I thought it was just me. This offered clues for me as to why I sucked my thumb for a long time, why I had nightmares and sleepwalking episodes. I need exploration and I his book is the start .

  • @heatherryll2509
    @heatherryll2509 Жыл бұрын

    My mom yelled at my dad and my dad would just sit and say nothing. I yelled at my husband but he yelled back. I stood by my son and listened when needed. My son now does not share a lot, especially his grief, since his Gramma, Opa and dad have both passed away.

  • @CaregivingVlogs
    @CaregivingVlogs Жыл бұрын

    I have been trying to heal from my traumas for many years, and I am 34 years old. I want a different life, better life but my past is keeping my life experiences from getting any better. 💯

  • @dawnwheeler3589
    @dawnwheeler3589 Жыл бұрын

    I am 51 and sobbing listening to this. Feelings of overwhelm are flooding me; since my mom passed away in 2020, all of the things being discussed are bringing so much to light in my life right now and I've had to pause the video at 47:03. Feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, hurt and...(I can't think of the word) but I feel like I'm dishonoring the death of my mom by thinking of our past and how I am just beginning to realize how it has shaped my life.

  • @talulatree5297

    @talulatree5297

    5 ай бұрын

    I hope you feel some peace now, and are able to heal. ❤

  • @CindaMurphyRealEstate

    @CindaMurphyRealEstate

    5 ай бұрын

    Yes, I’ve told myself for so long that my mom loved me, I feel bad saying, geez, my mom was NOT a good mom at all. I’m even worried someone will see this or worse, SHE will. But I can’t keep worrying about that. It is what it is and I don’t have to protect her. I’m not attacking her, I’m just saying what happened. It’s not an attack. The very best part of my mom would want me to heal and do whatever I have to do to feel better.

  • @its_your_marianna
    @its_your_marianna Жыл бұрын

    So, I'm 18, I've been going to therapy for two years, because I had panic attacks and I've definitely got better at being with myself and managing my anxiety, I have also created a great life for myself I've been dreaming about. And a couple of weeks ago I told my psychologist "I don't feel alive, I can't feel my emotions and I'm not able to enjoy my life". I was (and I am) very overwhelmed by it, I'm so freaking afraid of it... Thank you for doing a podcast about it, I feel seen.

  • @rebeccadean5091
    @rebeccadean5091 Жыл бұрын

    Monday when you said you’d be having an Ivy League educated doctor on to talk about trauma I was hoping it would be her! Reading Dr. Nicole’s first book right now and it’s so helpful. Thank you to you both for all the work you do, it’s helped me so much. 🙏🏻

  • @timothywenk1717
    @timothywenk1717 Жыл бұрын

    It's "self othering." I suffer from it severely. Something is wrong with ME in particular. I'm NOT fine... and "everyone else" IS fine, more or less. Good things are for "other people" ...and not for me.

  • @olgakim4848

    @olgakim4848

    Жыл бұрын

    Those are all lies that you tell yourself. Stop torturing yourself. I know. Easier said than done. But you have to try.

  • @meganscholey7202

    @meganscholey7202

    Жыл бұрын

    I used to do this too. I truly believed that everyone else had it together & I was broken. The good news is, you can change that narrative! 🙏🏻

  • @olgakim4848

    @olgakim4848

    Жыл бұрын

    @@meganscholey7202 Yes, grew up in a very sick, unhealthy family full of traumatized people that made me believe that everybody was smarter and better than me. Until I figured out on my own that that just wasn’t the case. I was the youngest and I’m pretty sure the oldest brother and older sister were threatened by little me. They were monsters. I’m filled with rage and anger. You just don’t know. Anyhow, too much information, sorry. Best wishes!

  • @HippieWitchMamaBear

    @HippieWitchMamaBear

    Жыл бұрын

    These beliefs you hold are actually called self limiting beliefs. You thinking everything happens to you instead of for you is a victim mentality. Take your power back.

  • @cheryljanzen6468

    @cheryljanzen6468

    Жыл бұрын

    @@olgakim4848 sounds familiar!

  • @dtthept9275
    @dtthept9275 Жыл бұрын

    Perception of a lack of safety. I resonate with this completely. I'd even contend that if you don't feel this way from these past 2 years, you haven't been paying attention. Living in an upside down world will bring out anyone's "inner child." I find that mine is just shouting at me, constantly.

  • @sucvaz5549
    @sucvaz55497 ай бұрын

    Omy God ...I have been having goose bumps as I'm listening to this podcast. I feel like sobbing, however I can't. Thank you Dr. Nicole and of course Mel. I thank God for coming across you Mel. You are that one woman, every woman can relate to. Stay blessed.

  • @helenaotto4239
    @helenaotto42396 ай бұрын

    What an insightful conversation!!! I am 40 now... and it is so sad that trauma happens but it is not seen for what it causes. Trauma is how you experience an event... not how big or small the event may be. But we were taught to 'get over it, like your brother does'... Not to blame the parents, they were taught the same...

  • @carolynbagshaw4686
    @carolynbagshaw4686 Жыл бұрын

    I did not have children. I know at one time I did want children however my inner wounds from Mother it was blocked in my wants. I am 60, I work with children a student coach/parent advocate/tutor/liason between teacher and parent. I know from therapist same one since I was in my 20s how important families need to recognize the generations of families and birthing of all their children. I hope to continue to implement all this in my work with families. I will be sharing you and your testimony in my business for a path for them to consider!

  • @poppylove3673

    @poppylove3673

    Жыл бұрын

    I am adopted and sure wish I knew something about my birth mom and family. Birth father as well, but not going to be able to find out at this point.

  • @bethmiller6827

    @bethmiller6827

    9 ай бұрын

    ​@@poppylove3673DNA might reveal your parents.

  • @wenderella81
    @wenderella817 ай бұрын

    Can I just say how grateful I am to hear the memory issue being discussed? I feel like I have early onset dementia and even talked to a doctor about it and they said it's not dementia it's from prolonged trauma aka my CPTSD. I get frustrated easily because of my memory issues and it's embarrassing having memory loss. Dr. Nicole for the win again. That woman is a true gift from The Universe.

  • @cc6861
    @cc6861 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you, I gained more awareness from listening to this incredible exchange of information. I am writing me a sticky note and taping it to my walls in every room. My intent, then my question (am I aware? am I conscious? am I present? Whatever question I write to bring me back to my physical body) then the hook, inhale or breath. I gift this to myself on Valentines day today 💕. Mel may your sky's always be blue and bright. Thank you for the ❤️ and the upgrading life training lessons. Thank you Dr. Nicole Lepera, high 5 👋🏼.

  • @dalecentamore5064
    @dalecentamore5064 Жыл бұрын

    I always thought my lack of childhood memories was because I blocked out the shitty times.

  • @shannonkrause983
    @shannonkrause983 Жыл бұрын

    That was very enlightening as to why I have the programmed behaviours that can run automatically when I get triggered. Realizing I’m an emotional 4 year old in a 53 year old body resulted in a small bucket of tears. 😢😭😭. Thank You!! 🙏💚

  • @ednamendez5398
    @ednamendez5398 Жыл бұрын

    This makes a lot of sense! I just bought your book how to do the work and the workbook. I also got the 5 habits from mel. I haven’t been able to establish healthy love relationships or strong relationships. I have opt out and almost promised myself not to let anyone close or in, but i am realizing I am hurting myself and ruining my own chances of creating the life and relationships I so much desire. I can relate about emotional immaturity. I do act like that scared child and shut down because I do not know how to channel mainly my anger. In the past I either the shut down version of me or the explosive me. I started my work a little while ago, but like Mel said is constant work and I am not where I am and I will not stop learning to be a better and a higher version of me.

  • @ArtByHazel
    @ArtByHazel Жыл бұрын

    Wow! Thank you both for coming together to deliver this good news. Healing my inner child wounds in my adulthood is challenging yet freeing at the same time. I grew up feeling disconnected from my body most of the time because I felt unsafe around me. 😢 Reparenting my inner child is totally worth doing the work inside out. There’s ups and downs yet I have more emotional maturity and tools in my toolbox to help me through whenever I have triggers & flashbacks. Coming home to myself as I processed , released painful memories stuck in my mind and body. I’m happy and grateful to be me now. Connected to my mind, body, and spirit. ❤ Blessings everyone. ❤❤❤

  • @1Sarradd
    @1Sarradd7 ай бұрын

    Mel you helped change my life and this wonderful brilliant doctor is now helping me too... I can't express in words what this means to me... changing the course of my life and my boys...

  • @jacquiejy
    @jacquiejy Жыл бұрын

    Omg I always figured I was just "too stupid" to remember my childhood. Wow... this is fascinating stuff ... and freeing! Thank You both!

  • @karie_brown
    @karie_brown Жыл бұрын

    I loved at the 1:20ish mark when you both shared your trauma responses before the podcast started, makes me feel so much more normal now ❤

  • @evercuriouslearner
    @evercuriouslearner Жыл бұрын

    How do we as parents recognize when we are behaving emotionally immature, how do we look for those signs in our children and differentiate between them being their age or that we're screwing them up!?

  • @carolpolaseksoares5559
    @carolpolaseksoares55594 ай бұрын

    Mel...your the best❤ Thank you for all you Do for others😊 You are So easy to listen too Love your advice💛 Love ya❤

  • @BryceRubalcava
    @BryceRubalcava10 ай бұрын

    This is me this whole episode "omg that's me!!, Yup that's me!!, Omg me too!!" The best episode ever, I related to everything ❤

  • @susanhollingsworth2979
    @susanhollingsworth2979 Жыл бұрын

    So many golden nuggets here!! I just ordered 2 books! 1 for me and one to have in my office to show clients who are struggling with feeling stuck and reactive! Thank you both!! ❤

  • @georginafalzon2414
    @georginafalzon24145 ай бұрын

    Oh my God, thank you so much. This is the podcast I have been looking for forever! You have just explained my childhood, which I don’t remember lol.

  • @TeaRose9
    @TeaRose93 ай бұрын

    I completely relate to automatically shifting into panic stress mode in my nervous system when I’m around or talking to or thinking about interaction with certain people or events it rages throughout every single cell of my entire body and mind as I feel every single aspect of it.

  • @CindaMurphyRealEstate
    @CindaMurphyRealEstate5 ай бұрын

    OMG!!!! “Suppressed my version of reality.” This phrase hit me because I recently realized how neglectful and abusive my parents were. I am sooooo disassociated from my body and even life because I don’t understand the stimuli and don’t know what to do with the feelings that result from it. HELP!!!

  • @sue5158

    @sue5158

    4 ай бұрын

    Reading Dr. Pete Walkers cptsd site helped me in the beginning. Google it. Take care. It gets better.

  • @channyl252
    @channyl252 Жыл бұрын

    Oh wow! I really needed to hear this today! This podcast helped me solidify so much in my last two years of therapy. Thank you so much! Mel you are my ‘go to’ KZread ‘helper’ and Nicole, what a pleasure to discover you!! I am buying your book and I have subscribed to your channel! Blessings to both of you! Such powerful, kind, and amazing women!

  • @wistfulselkie6578
    @wistfulselkie65788 ай бұрын

    My brain just 🤯 And I had an ah-hah moment. My mother could not self regulate. She would first explode and spew all of her thoughts and feelings over any mistake or perceived slight. She would then give me the silent treatment sometimes for days. I went into ‘chase’ and ‘win-back’ mode. I would apologize profusely, profess my love, do sweet gestures, even buying her gifts to win back her love and affection. This would be the only way to get her to forgive me and love me again. Now as an adult, I find myself doing this is my relationships. I find it hard not to be in chase mode. And guess what? It doesn’t work! I end up driving people away or attracting those who are emotionally immature. All because I am still living in survival mode from childhood…😮

  • @mindiegreen6036
    @mindiegreen6036 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this podcast! This is so helpful to me, I cannot express it here in a short comment, so I will just say thank you to both of you from the bottom of my heart

  • @jenono
    @jenono Жыл бұрын

    1:26:48 I loved that question Mel and this was EXACTLY what I was feeling “We feel worse, we feel everything and we feel life more ❤” that was a gem 💎 as was the whole podcast!

  • @juliebelize4285
    @juliebelize4285 Жыл бұрын

    Want to thank you two women for being authentic with your emotions and your healing path. You are both speaking out loud, my life. Going to get Dr. Nicole's book today. Thank you ~

  • @leahesterzerbib1794
    @leahesterzerbib1794 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for being so transparent. I am so grateful for you being so authentic

  • @Mrjtoth1
    @Mrjtoth1 Жыл бұрын

    I really enjoyed your discussion on postpartum depression. It was very rough to watch someone go through it and not knowing how to help. I felt sympathy for both the mother and the child.

  • @TouchOnTap
    @TouchOnTap Жыл бұрын

    This was an amazing, life changing interview, Mel and Dr. Nicole. Thank you so much for being so open and raw with us. Love you both 😘😘😘 so so much.

  • @ms_firefly
    @ms_firefly8 ай бұрын

    On the lack of memories thing, I have an incredibly hard time remembering movies, or following a complicated show (game of thrones, the Americans, etc). Guessing this is related. I'm trying to be more present but my mind wanders so easily.

  • @hollyhinman9818
    @hollyhinman9818 Жыл бұрын

    Thanks Mel! You and Dr. Nicole brought up so many common incidents for me. The newspaper dad used to hide behind, the silent treatment he gave me after reading my teenage diary, mom screaming after I went to bed, as if I wouldnt hear?! I can't list them all, and I am sure I dont remember them all. Do any of us even know the truth as family stories just seem to be accepted and then swept under the rug to show up in our unregulated adulthood. I have seen a therapist for 11 years, and got sober 11 in June. I am ordering her books to continue to "meet myself!"

  • @jojosmojo1974
    @jojosmojo1974 Жыл бұрын

    I was lifted up as a baby so I appreciate this conversation. Thank you ❤

  • @kimbrady7662
    @kimbrady7662 Жыл бұрын

    This was so incredible. Thank you so much for this.

  • @tanjaaufdermaur9468
    @tanjaaufdermaur9468 Жыл бұрын

    Hearing your stories felt like a balm. It's so relatable for me. Thank you very much💖💖💖. AWESOME!🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @soudipanah
    @soudipanah Жыл бұрын

    Can’t thank you both enough for this episode 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙏🏻 I resonated with every single thing that you discussed! 💕💕💕

  • @klaudiazmigrodzka9939
    @klaudiazmigrodzka9939 Жыл бұрын

    You both are amazing! Thank you! These are my life stories! I get so much validation from you and I really appreciate it!❤️

  • @marygrogan6101
    @marygrogan6101 Жыл бұрын

    Appreciate your openness and all the wisdom you share. Glad to know about not remembering my childhood.

  • @rp_snow5089
    @rp_snow5089 Жыл бұрын

    WOW finally see you two are collaborating, both are my fav Instagrammers! Thank you to both! Mel your sharing's always helpful.

  • @lovingoldlady4872
    @lovingoldlady4872 Жыл бұрын

    Recognizing so many things you both are talking about. Eye opening.

  • @MrDaloren
    @MrDaloren Жыл бұрын

    Thanks. This conversation inspired me a lot. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. So powerful

  • @innergreatness8308
    @innergreatness83088 ай бұрын

    Such valuable sharing! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and genuine! This is what we all need to hear! So healing, thank you so much🙏♥️

  • @christinar9414
    @christinar94147 ай бұрын

    Thank you for this amazing interview! You all described such similar situations and feelings that I’ve had all my life. Thank you for explaining all of this with such compassion, empathy, and relatability! thank you both!! Here’s to healing…

  • @elizabethash4720

    @elizabethash4720

    5 ай бұрын

    Instead off exchan lucging sentences, there isso much expulsion of bracket upon bracket, I'm exhausted. Good luck to all

  • @KristaPrince
    @KristaPrince8 ай бұрын

    I have felt this way for years. I have felt apathetic and it seems that I just don't care. Disconnection has been part of me..Thank you for putting into words what I have felt for years.

  • @good1125
    @good11255 ай бұрын

    Fascinating! I am definitely the peacemaker, the one who holds the family together. I could never express my own feelings, their chaotic feelings were more important. So much was on my shoulders. My ‘problems’ had to be suppressed. Being traumatized by their sudden anger, yelling, unexpected eruptions, I kept soaking up their energy even when I wasn’t part of the problem. I feel maybe telling this to my family will be healing on its own.

  • @lilbitirish
    @lilbitirish8 ай бұрын

    Thank you so much. Now I know I'm not alone and there is hope to heal and meet myself. I type as tears just stream down my face. I despise crying, however this time it feels cleansing. I'll get the book and get back into therapy.

  • @wendylugo111
    @wendylugo111 Жыл бұрын

    I have purchased your book DR. Nicole LePera cant wait to dig into it more then i already have. Thank you Mel Robbins for all you do!

  • @jasonkennedy9502
    @jasonkennedy9502 Жыл бұрын

    What a precious human! Thank you, Dr. Nicole! Mel, as always you are the best!

  • @septembersilvers
    @septembersilvers Жыл бұрын

    This was great! Exactly what I need to do!

  • @katiuskasotomayor1285
    @katiuskasotomayor1285 Жыл бұрын

    This episode is GOLD! thank you.

  • @denisestevens572
    @denisestevens5727 ай бұрын

    I am resonating with this fully. Thank you both for your services. I am on a spiritual path and have been digging all this up too. I am greatful ❤

  • @dawncollins3161
    @dawncollins3161 Жыл бұрын

    This was spot on and fabulous!! Thank you, ladies - Bravo 👏🏽 🎉👏🏽🎉👏🏽 Much love 💕

  • @sherir3668
    @sherir36687 ай бұрын

    Thank you both for your honesty. It is incredibly validating!!

  • @creeikuko
    @creeikuko Жыл бұрын

    This was amazing I came to these realizations with my mother and I wish I could have this conversation with her

  • @sue5158
    @sue51584 ай бұрын

    Its sooo hard for me to organize thoughts at times to explain things to my family. Another result of trauma. Thanks for this. It covers me perfectly. Ill send them this.

  • @andi12270
    @andi12270 Жыл бұрын

    I keep discovering so much about myself from this channel!!!

  • @OneWhoKnowz
    @OneWhoKnowz Жыл бұрын

    Everything I’ve ever believed rolled into this video 😮! Mind blown 🤯 one of the most amazing talks!!!! Woooowhee ❤ Chapter 44 has been an expansive and wild ride!!

  • @story.7162
    @story.7162 Жыл бұрын

    This is so fascinating. This is my first time hearing about Dr Nicole and her work, but I have been reading Dr Gabor Mate’s book The ‘Myth of Normal: trauma, illness and healing in a toxic culture’ and it is alllll of this, but from the medics doctor/ family physician’s perspective of this. Dr Mate’s early childhood is similar in impact as Mel’s daughter, where he was separated from his Mother when the Naz!s invaded Hungary (they were Hungarian Jews and he was quickly evacuated before his mother was caught up in a Budapest ghetto). For him, his trauma manifested in fear of abandonment (mother wound) and overwork and workaholism (driven to be accepted and needed). Im looking forward to checking out Dr Nicole’s work and the rest of this series, and try ans get to the bottom of my issues too ❤️

  • @TrayHere
    @TrayHere7 ай бұрын

    You two are so empathic and loving and thank you for your sharing Mel 💕💥🙏 must get that book.

  • @Telinajodiaz
    @Telinajodiaz Жыл бұрын

    Mel, have you heard of the book The Emotion Code? This podcast episode connects so much with the concepts in that book. Thanks for your work! Wishing you and family all the joy and peace good vibes possible.

  • @gerriboudreau3343
    @gerriboudreau3343 Жыл бұрын

    Oh wow! Does this resonate with me! Definitely going to listen to Dr. Nicole’s book!

  • @blissbrain
    @blissbrain4 ай бұрын

    wow, this podcast is healing my own family issues just by showing me how it's done. Thank you.

  • @dawnleblanc2329
    @dawnleblanc2329 Жыл бұрын

    Mel your daughter is so lucky to have a mom now who has the knowledge to help her.

  • @katiegreenwood8738
    @katiegreenwood8738 Жыл бұрын

    Carol Tuttle’s book ‘The Child Whisperer’ book helped me amongst other life experiences, see the natural tendencies and natural abilities I was born with that were either shamed or not recognised and left me with limiting beliefs. My caregivers were unknowingly not attuned to me and my sensitivity or understood my needs. I too shut down my emotions and ended up with an auto immune disease. I do have clear memories/ flashbacks as far back as primary school but that’s one of my natural gifts. I’m now healing my body and mind. 💖

  • @cupofteawithpoetry
    @cupofteawithpoetry Жыл бұрын

    Thank you ladies! This interview and the advice you both offered is fantastic. I love how open many American people are on the whole, especially Americans like you two! We're somewhat still a bit awkward here in the UK about emotions - but we're getting better...slowly! 😂

  • @The.Collective.Objective.
    @The.Collective.Objective.7 ай бұрын

    Thank you both for this very candid and enlightening discourse

  • @stacielivinthedream8510
    @stacielivinthedream8510 Жыл бұрын

    Truly Amazing Talk!! I love you both and was enthralled throughout!! ♥️💃♥️💃♥️💃♥️

  • @loria2685
    @loria2685 Жыл бұрын

    Yes 🙌🏻 Two of my favs!! Awesome! ❤

  • @mulltiifacetted
    @mulltiifacetted Жыл бұрын

    Game changing talk 2 witness here… My all-time two favorite women right here.✨❤️‍🔥👑

  • @colleenalsleben4976
    @colleenalsleben4976 Жыл бұрын

    Thank you for this video ❤

  • @madisensullivan1660
    @madisensullivan16607 ай бұрын

    I’ve always had a hard time remembering much of my childhood and even things from my adult life. I always assumed the adulthood memories I wasn’t remembering was due to my smoking weed and/or drinking and blaming myself. Now I really think it’s due to my childhood ‘stuff’

  • @najette1404
    @najette1404 Жыл бұрын

    ❤thank you so much , I got the book and I’m amazed

  • @jenna.w.9041
    @jenna.w.90414 ай бұрын

    I have been captivated by this discussion and information. At 1:16:09 I started crying. Growing up in an extremely physically abusive household by my Mother, (with my Dad turning a blind eye to it) I remember identifying the dangers, the changes in my Mom, knowing when to stay out of her way, taking responsibility for my potential safety to avoid certain scenarios. Painful realization. I knew to keep my mouth shut, so I did. My mother today says “You seldom spoke as a child..” and would chuckle. I never spoke because I was terrified to rock that proverbial boat. I keep myself busy today, every day, or i feel anxious and angry. This is helping me understand the “why” behind my own emotions. Thank you

  • @deonekeane9854
    @deonekeane9854 Жыл бұрын

    God bless you both for this wonderful video!

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