13.Laziness 14. Compulsive Lying 15.Emotional Immaturity 16. Self-hatred from hearing your own complaining voice hit a brick wall 17.Stonewalling 18. Lack of domestic help "Substance abuse" can also be porn addiction and addiction to the internet in general ie. perpetual escape from commitment

@chatticheswick4939

10 ай бұрын

From observations of married couples in my milieu, there is only one reason for divorce. The home redecoration project has been completed and there is no longer a home redecorating project to distract them from each other.

Such a painful realization that divorce was the only way out of the perpetual cycle. Now it’s as if I never existed in his life. It’s ok, I’m happy to finally get off the rollercoaster. I wasn’t crazy and now I have peace.

All of your videos are filled with truth. The problem is once you realize all of these truths, rather than being set free, I have found that they lead me to a point of feeling absolutely no hope. Total despair, and hopelessness for the future. I don’t see a world where my life will ever maintain any state of happiness, given the awareness that I now have of both myself and others. So much for self-help…lol. The truth has officially broken me.

@Songs4U26

10 ай бұрын

Please don't think this Robin...I see things now that friendship is the thing that saves me...I have trust issues but love will always find its way...

@maritaberndt6200

8 ай бұрын

Dear Robin, try to enjoy the small things in life: your health, a lovely day, your friends. The world is basically a fucked up place. Not just for you, for everyone. So enjoy what you can. Breathe. Do something you love doing. ❤

@ddukes3854

3 ай бұрын

I felt that way for awhile too- but remember, WE KNOW THE TRUTH. Narcs are clueless and generally so focused on the S’s that they can’t see the forest for the trees! Stay on the healing course- Keep up with Professor V!!

I had exactly 11/12 reasons, still wondering if it was right to choose divorce. I definitely knew after a short while, after some distant time. Sending you lots of love

Funny, the wealth distribution went to my narcissistic ex. He abused me so badly I left to preserve my sanity and physical health. I'm guessing that was his plan.

@antheaglocer4232

10 ай бұрын

Myself as well. At least I am out of the relationship. Re starting from scratch after a 25 year marriage.

@solo90176

10 ай бұрын

Same. There is hope

@melbaT2770

10 ай бұрын

Divorce and the transfer of wealth in the Western world is the new “dowry.” The husbands’ families in the Eastern culture always get their financial share before marriage😏Now they get it in in divorce with women inheriting and earning kore money.

@pinkheartfairy

9 ай бұрын

​@MissPrissy6688 same here I'm reaching 39 and trying to be independent and find my way to divorce.

I started watching your channel when i heard about BPD from the Amber Heard/JD case. I was confused as to what I was experiencing in my marriage and why. I have learnt so much from you. Today this video will help me outline my divorce petition because I honestly don't have the words. Thank you so much...

@stacygyuricza2187

10 ай бұрын

I was in the same situation watching the case. Sam has helped me so much!

Think I have all twelve of these.... so depressing. So informative thank you.

“Burdened” for sure… which stemmed from being controlled and isolated in some ways. Broke free from my own unrealistic expectations and now live in peace.

I've been married for almost 5 months and communication is hard sometimes because he is a Finnish person and I'm a Brazilian, so we speak in English which I'm an intermediate speaker. 2) he is alcoholic and he says it is part of his culture and I have to accept that. It hurts me 3)he can not have sex with me , if he touched me 4x was much and when he was drunk so it didn't work. 4)he is unemployed but he the most problem is not searching for job because the gov. Keeps him financially. 5)he sleeps very late because of insonia and he wakes up very late as well, when he does, no energy for cleaning the house, going to bike or anything. 6)addicted to games, he plays a lot, I almost can't kiss him, talking to him is a hard task because he gets annoyed easily. For all this, I said I support him, but he needs to go to the doctor to check his hormones, vitamins and decide for a change. I am really confused about his feelings towards me, even he says he loves me. I think his rage shows more how he doesnt respect me or have any consideration with me, even after all i spent to come to his country. When I brought the divorce as solution , he said he should throw me out of the house until the paper is ready, I could sell myself to survive in an expensive country or kill myself. Those words are very painful and I'm trying to move on because he was drunk and said it was my fault to let him angry complaining because of his drinks.

@calmdowngurl

10 ай бұрын

If this is already happening this is Not a good sign. .🚩

I don't have unrealistic expectations yet I feel I'm never going to get married, let alone be divorced.

Very timely, very good insight and advice Sam.

What a wonderful talk. Thank you very much. I’ll watch it several times.

Very insightful. Thank you.

Took me over 20 yrs ....

@ddukes3854

3 ай бұрын

Me too- 27 years!! But now we know…

Well, that's that then!

When a wife leads a parallel life with her brother-in-law and carries his wedding band (normally concealed next to another ring and difficult to see), does this give sufficient reason for a divorce?

Phubbing. I can't speak to men - haven't dated any 😂 - but a challenge to find a woman under 50 who isn't conjoined to her phone. No partner can compete with the internet and psycho-engineered social media attention traps.

@angelika87

9 ай бұрын

guy I know online shops while we're out to eat. no way in heck you should ever take a phone zombie seriously.

I got divorced due to the Lying to my Face.

i know couples that have more than half of those and are married, it makes me wonder , in what kind of relationships people stay

I'd like to share some additional insights regarding the topic of intimate relationships. The following insights are subject to continuous update. In my current opinion, intimate relationships can be arbitrarily classified into 3 categories based on the predominant influence that forms the core foundation for the relationship: 1) reason/rationality/ideas/ideologies/mind based; 2) love/feelings/emotions/belief system/heart based; 3) mind and heart based. Within each of the above categories the ranges are from absolutely mismatched to partially (mis)matched to well matched. The mismatched relationships evolve in the direction of compounding damage over time despite all the (resource) subsidies they manage to secure in order to sustain their disintegrating/dissociating union. Next, excessive emphasis on biological reproduction led to an oversight regarding the vital/morbid role of the intimate partner in the development processes of mindfulness/soulfulness/consciousness/world view/sense of the world. Finally, there follow consequences of scale. P.S.: Don't take my word for it, please, check for yourselves if the above insights are somewhat representative of your case or not as much/at all/yet.

me 💞🥰sam

Not so easy to divorce an A hole , they block your every move !

The ability to negotiate in marriage. If it is not there you should not marry. You are already ugly and selfcentered so when you partner you should look at your ability to express needs and prioritize them. If it is all "I want" with no "we want" "my partner wants" you are not marriage material. You will die alone and ignored. People will not have time to dislike you, even, and your children will NOT visit you in the old age.

Is it smart to marry for money?

@dotw1778

10 ай бұрын

It is prostitution.

@nana6899

10 ай бұрын

Yes! There are only 2 reasons to marry, to procreate as a union or to marry up financially. If neither apply then just cohabitate without marriage.

@Langolin1998

10 ай бұрын

@@nana6899terrible advice

@BoopAngel

10 ай бұрын

@@nana6899Agreed. These are the two reasons.

@nana6899

10 ай бұрын

@@VivatVeritas1 I see nothing wrong with a woman marring for money, it happens all the time, but either do it in your 20s have one or 2 children to secure future finances, or above 50 and that’s for being attractive and a fun companion, these are if someone is simply looking to build wealth love excluded. I was in a relationship for financial reasons, I was not attracted to him, but I did develop a love for him because how he wanted to enrich my life with anything I desired. Men marry for these reasons: physical and sexual, security and stabilization, financial sometimes, and pressure. So as a woman either be very attractive or be very level headed to catch a man. Many people marry due pressure, less as generations have gone on, but people that married at 22 often are 2 entirely different people at 42 or 52. Heck I wouldn’t even go on one date with my first husband had I met him as the person I am today. People should not get married before 30 if they are actually looking for a proper union to procreate.