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As a four, I feel misunderstood when the system suggests I want to be perceived as unique. I don't care if people see me as different or unique but I want to be understood and accepted for whatever it is that I am. Uniqueness isn't important to me. I may be different but that is just who I am. I don't want people to value that in and of itself. I just want people to see what I am and not judge it.

@Tobebeth

2 жыл бұрын

Agreed!! I don’t care about being special, I want to be understood and loved for who I am!! 😩

@MsJRose11

2 жыл бұрын

Yes hit the nail on the head I don’t want to be different and stand out I just am different I want to fit in I just don’t. Maybe that’s my insanely high 5 wing that makes me not want to be different that I just am I feel like so many of these resonate more for the 4w3s I know.

@lydiasprouls100

Жыл бұрын

Agree 1000%

something to note, the paradox/pitfall of the 4 is that we HATE fitting in but secretly want it. our differences are both our vice and virtue, what gives us pride and what we hate the most about ourselves. it’s because we think we’re naturally defective, so we come to despise the “common” and almost purposefully outcast ourselves.

@ericsnyder6837

3 жыл бұрын

Which sucks

@vixikie

3 жыл бұрын

Exactly! I want to be different (I mean, normal is so boring) and I dislike many trends but at the same time I just wish that I haven't got this feeling of being so different from everyone because it feels like no one understands me which makes me feel alone. It also doesn't help that my rising sign is Aquarius as well lol. We are not born to be everyone else which I love and hate at the same time.

@persian338

2 жыл бұрын

This is the worst thing eveeer

@shirugipan2112

2 жыл бұрын

as a 16 year old, who's exposed with trends , I really hate the pressure, like I wanted to fit in but like at the same time I don't cuz it violates my individualism if I conform to societal norms but if I don't conform I also feel misunderstood and lonely.. which is so tiresome

@erindougherty1999

2 жыл бұрын

God I can so relate to this comment. I feel like I constantly live in a state of dissonance or friction between wanting to be wholly unique and different but also wanting to belong which is a fundamental human desire. It's hardwired into our brains.

I think I’m a 4. I’m so self aware that I often feel like a person inside of a person. All of my emotions take the form of the thoughts I’m thinking, and that often turns into a negative feedback loop for anxiety. Anybody else have that experience?

@areydrows4630

3 жыл бұрын

meee it's like the emotions are a whole another person

@karissahammond4587

3 жыл бұрын

Happens to me too! Sometimes it helps to have someone else there to help me untangle it.

@SparklesNJazz

3 жыл бұрын

YESSS S S SS. i totally relate. oh it’s so confusing. it’s like i have two of me, one is the emotional little sibling and the other is the independent big sister trying to calm the other down. so i always end up talking to myself when i’m alone, and i can’t figure out which of the “siblings” i should let determine my decisions. sometimes i even get confused, like was that my logical brain or my emotional brain talking?

@ronniehorace7614

3 жыл бұрын

I deal with this daily as I’m trying to find my true identity and purpose on this planet. I feel like i don’t belong a lot of time as well. Like I’m different from people around me.

@earthsou111

3 жыл бұрын

yes self reflection, self conscious, self aware is definitely up there !!!!

Thought it was so good to hear that a type 4 loves personality tests and doesn’t understand why others wouldn’t!! Sooo me! And yes, they make me feel seen. Thank you!

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Haha!!! Yes! They do! Thanks for your type 4 insight!

@vovianhummus4748

3 жыл бұрын

Even the way you worded the last sentence, sounds like me ✨Ahhhhh! My people ! 😍♥️😌

@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, I 100% resonate with that, haha

@TreeLover-nr6ey

2 жыл бұрын

Totally struck me too!

@TreeLover-nr6ey

2 жыл бұрын

Nailed it.

Honestly, I love my family and friends, but sometimes I just feel very alone in the world bc no one will ever truly understand me. And even though I have a group of friends, I’ve always felt like a loner. I still feel the need to have someone to give me support, cause I feel fragile.

@nuggetsss2526

3 жыл бұрын

True for me . I love people sometimes I just hate having People. I also feel people don understand me

@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239

3 жыл бұрын

I understand

@thatboyruut2169

2 жыл бұрын

Same

@ruthlis739

2 ай бұрын

I love you immensely❤

this sounds a lot like me. im extremely sensitive to criticism, i take everything personally .

@dez7100

3 жыл бұрын

That’s not a good comment.

@ee9459

2 жыл бұрын

@@dez7100 seriously? 💀

As a 16 year old with the enneagram 4w5, I always feel validated when I am expressing myself uniquely and authentically. I always thought that I wanted to fit in with other people, turns out I just wanted to be understood. I envy all of my peers because it's so easy for them to function to society like they can socialize with ease. Ughhh I hate that I have this super awareness within me. People always tell me that I'm good at reading them lol

@lunamoone5231

2 жыл бұрын

Omg i am 16 too and i can relate SO MUCH.

I can relate to everything you mentioned. Honestly, I have never found anything that describes me better than Ennegram Type 4. I am absolutely obsessed with personality typologies, I wish people I knew were also passionate about it

@mk_paper_bird

3 жыл бұрын

totally agreed

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

I have heard this so many times. I agree with you in wishing others were more into them. They help us so much with communication and understanding each other. Thank you for sharing!

@roy.shrestha

3 жыл бұрын

@@enneagramandcoaching yes ❤️

@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239

3 жыл бұрын

💯 Are you an ENFP also by chance? I am and just wonder how often they overlap

@noralyderijk1802

3 жыл бұрын

@@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239 I am type 4 and ENFP too!

This is great. 5W4 here married to a 4W5. We bonded instantly...truly an "across the crowded room" story...like two big invisible hands pushing us together despite ourselves. What i love about your teaching and presentation style is that you keep it real and practical. Learning about the types has really helped me be more empathetic with those around me. Very grateful for that.

1. You've always felt different from everybody else 2. Nature, beauty, culture... they are all beautiful to you 3. You might have a difficult time separating your thoughts 4. They considers them self highly sensitive 5. You hate it when somebody asks you to fit in 6. You are not afraid of your dark side 7. You feel like you are misunderstood a lot 8. When people tell you to do something and you want to respond or do respond by doing the complete opposite 9. In social situations you aren't necessarily the life of the party. You actually walk into a room and kind of hang back a little and will wait for people to approach you 10. You love personality type systems

Thank you! #6 is a big one, not being afraid of the darker things in life. A saying which has helped me through many feelings is "Let everything happen to you: Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." - Rainer Maria Rilke. Hope it helps other fours

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! So good! As a type 9 I need 4s in my life. I need someone who is not afraid and can go to hard places with me when I'm dealing with hard things. Really all types need to learn from the 4 on this. Thank you for sharing!

As a 5w4, I identify a bit too much with this. MUST LOGIC... MUST THINK... Nuuuuu, need feelings!

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂 This comment made my day!

@MatthewEaton

3 жыл бұрын

@@enneagramandcoaching Thank you! Happy to contribute and thanks for sharing this! I needed it. By the way, to expand per your request, I really did identify with number 10. It has that itch of logic behind it as well as that way to connect that my 4 side loves. Don't discuss it with my 6 side, Mr. Grumpypants doesn't like those things haha "Hi, I am an INFJ / High C / 5w4 with a golden parachute. How about you?"

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

This is pure gold. You are so funny! 😂

I literally cry every time I read something that I identify with. It’s a mix between feeling seen and learning more about yourself, the possibility of evolving with the things you’ve learnt is like a boost in confidence. Feels good.

"I feel a deep sense of grief for what I have lost" - a question from the enneagram website......I started grieving as i read it😆🤣

As a 4, I already knew that i was one. Every single sign actually hit me so hard that I almost started crying. Every sign had me thinking of like 5 examples all at once! I’m a 4w3, anyone else?

@path-finder1

3 жыл бұрын

Yes! I'm a 4wing 3... I related to your tenderness about these 10 points of 4"s... It speaks to the very heart of a four to be be recognized, appreciated and understood... ! My 3 wing made me reconsider though her 9th point... Not the "life of the party"... I'm not shy, or "hold back"... Although I feel at home being alone, I find I am comfortable at gatherings... (To a certain extent) ... When they all go home... (Or I leave) I can be emotionally tired up to the next day... The more I mature though, the less emotionally tired I find myself...( a good thing) 😳🌠

#8--so guilty but it's not for 4 reasons. I just don't want to do what people tell me to do even if I end up doing it in the end. My inner 2 year-old is strong 😂

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Hahahahaha!!!! So good!!!

i already know i’m a 4, but actually watching this video showed me how much i’ve actually grown. like i used to struggle every day with feeling *so* different from everyone but now i focus on it so much less and really value how i’m different. kinda made me emotional at my progress (a very 4 thing to do HAHA)

You really hit the nail on the head! These are so accurate it's scary lol.

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

LOL! Thank you!!!!!

I am very well-versed in a lot of typing systems, because my parents made me read all the personality books as a kid, because, "You need to fix yourself." I had hoped that those books were the key to understanding people -- they weren't. But things never got better when I tried to change myself, so I decided that it wasn't me that was flawed. I wonder if this is how I can easily vibe with the 4 experience, even though I'm definitely not one. My 4 friends are all amazing in their own unique ways, and it's great to share ideas among them and discuss all the artsy and feelings stuff.

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing Francesca! Love your perspective.

Hi there! I'm a 4 dating a 4 here! We really connect over deep things and we make music together. It's really important to me to feel fully accepted in a relationship and this is the first time I've ever felt that with a partner. We usually balance out each other but yes sometimes it can be verrrry emotional and deep as we're both really comfortable talking about feelings, haha. Love your videos!! All of these signs are true for me!

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Love this!!! Thank you for sharing!

never felt so understood in life, thank you for this :)

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Love this! ❤️

This was spot on!! I resonated with each SOO much. The personality test made me laugh. So true! Love this video. Thank you

I really love how you explain each type from many different angles, thank you! :)

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Sweet!

For me the biggest type 4 things are feeling different, the need to be authentic, getting misunderstood and the love of beauty & nature. I am moved to tears frequently.

I resonate with all but #9 the party doesn't start until I arrive.

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Love this! 😂👏🏼

@Journey1968

3 жыл бұрын

I heard there was a counter type 4 which presents like a type 7 🎈 🎉 🎊 . They call them sunny side 4s. May explain why the party doesn’t start until you arrive 😉

I love your breakdowns! Super helpful, thank you for sharing!

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

Wow! Great video! You do an excellent job of describing the questions we have about so many aspects of being a four. I am a 50 year old male who did not ever put any faith in these kinds of things, and am just now learning that I am a four and have been contorting myself for others all my life. I recently started seeing a girl who is also a four, (yea, gonna be interesting...) and she sent me the enneagram test, where I "discovered myself". It is both enlightening and embarrassing that I never knew any of this stuff before. I am letting myself do things that I did not think was permissible. Like feel stuff. Thanks!

Thank you so much for this! I've been casually exploring the enneagram for months and was torn between a few types for myself, but now I'm certain I'm a 4, particularly after the talk about finding the divine in nature 😃

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Yay! Love this!

I am a type 4 and am an INFJ on Myers Briggs.

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Love it!

@gbebrielle7

3 жыл бұрын

Me too!

@Lilpanda222

3 жыл бұрын

@@gbebrielle7 We would make good friends not many people get me. 😅

@NikkaNadia

3 жыл бұрын

I’m 2 /4 and infj!

@Lilpanda222

3 жыл бұрын

@@NikkaNadia That's awesome! I don't find many more INFJ! My name is Brittany it's nice to meet you!

Yes!!! Just discovered I'm a type 4 w 5, after mistyping as a 9 and 2 for years but not fully resonating. Every point was spot on for me. Thanks for the video:)

@enneagramandcoaching

Жыл бұрын

Wonderful!

Thank you! This helped. Type 2 is really close for me but type 4 is spot on.

@daisychain914

2 жыл бұрын

I was torn between type 4 & 2 but I now see it’s because I’ve been stressed a lot on relationships so displayed unhealthy 2 a lot

understand nature 🥺🥰 and beauty in the most unusual thinggs

Hi Hillary! It’s me Christina! As you know I’m a 4w5 and I can definitely say that I do relate to most of these things. I’ll probably relate to the 5 ones too. I’m about to check that one out now.

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Hi Christina! YES! I can see how you relate to all these!

What an amazing video! Great job at keeping your audience engaged :)

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you! ❤️

Yes, i like how you say that type 4 are not afraid of darker side and that's very accurate for myself and also the last one i'm into enneagram and other personality types.

Hello ! Thank you for this video. I'm in a relationship with a type 4 and everything you said resonates with what I experience of him. He's an artist and he struggles to be understood and he feels like nobody understands his music and nobody is really interested because they only listen to the same things, the same kind of music and are not curious to discover something different. The only thing that doesn't resonate is that he doesn't like personnality tests because it puts him in a box and he hates that !

I relayed to all of these on a crazy level except #9, I LOVE attention haha

If I had any doubt that I’m a 4 before this video, it is gone now 😳. I check all these boxes as well as the core fear/desire ... I feel so understood! *sobs into lace hanky* Seriously, though, everything you said resonated with me and encouraged me to resist my tendency to envy and lean into my strengths. Thank you for your wonderful videos!!

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing! 💕

I've never separated thoughts with feelings. Never even thought of it. And I am over 50. Thanks for the knowledge. I hate being hypersensitive to criticisms. Yes I am honest with who I am and am OK with the nitty gritty of life.

Good morning! I have to say, every single one of these I can relate to !!! I was thinking I was a 5 and so I’m thinking I’m a 4w5! Exciting! Thanks!

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing!! ❤

This was so helpful!! I thought I was a 9 for years, but as I've gotten older I've really started to feel like 9 doesn't quite fit. Your 10 signs of being a 9 video didn't resonate with me at all, and this video resonates a TON! Pointing at these specific behavioral things really helps narrow it down. There are just too many ways for me to spin the more abstract descriptions around in my head. Thank you! I laughed out loud at your last point about loving personality systems hahaha :) That is definitely true for me.

10/10! I feel understood ^_^ I think the only one I identify less with is #9, and that might just be my 3 wing. I have gone into social situations before and taken the reigns to be the life of the party. However, when I've done this it's never been gratifying. People become close to the persona I put on, but they never become close to me. If I let the persona drop, people spook and run. I've made much truer friends on days when I was tired and stuck to the edge of the room to do my own thing.

Great video! Thanks!

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

THANKYOUUU SM THIS'S HELPFULL☺

@enneagramandcoaching

Жыл бұрын

Happy to help!

The one about doung the opposite of what you're told hits hard for me. I'm actually 2 though (most likely sp dom).

Love this :) BUT, I hate meeting other 4s, bc it reminds me I'm not the only one 😂

I'm new to enneagram. Haven't even done the test yet. Type 4 is looking very much like me. This was helpful thanks.

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

This was very helpful and beautiful, thank you 😊

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Awww thank you!

This was so accurate I nearly cried. 100% relate to all 10 of these. (INTJ - 4w5 - SP/SO)

All 10 are good but you specifically had me at #2. Oh and #5! :D thanks

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Yay! Thank you for sharing!

@mk_paper_bird

3 жыл бұрын

@@enneagramandcoaching thank you for the video

Am I a type 4? How knows...let's say I was in tears when you mentioned the second point ;)

I like being different because normal is so boring, but what I don't like is being misunderstood and lonely because of that but at the same time I like being alone because being around people sometimes make me feel like an alien or something. I just have a hard time connecting with people. It is just complicated.

yes i agree on all of these especially number 10. Everyone always tells me i'm weird because i believe in personality test and stuff like that but to me it just makes me feel seen and it tells me who i am. and that helps a lot because i've always had trouble trying to understand who i am.

U said it all ! Am impressed 🌸 thank u

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

Yes to all of them. I already knew I was a 4 but you just confirmed it.

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Awesome!

#7 was soooooo spot on. This is because i’m so honest and ready for anyone to open up and for me to open up with anyone even someone who could be a stranger so it’s met with “woah i’m not used to that”. So I’m usually mistunderstood in my intentions like guys who think I could be flirting when i’m just interested in their life or strengths and weaknesses and I know that’s not normal for everyone to want to dive so deep with everyone.

I just love being a 4 😎🍾 Thank you for making me feel amazing

I'm definitely a type 4. I wish there were some way to connect with other local type 4 individuals; I wonder how well we would actually be able to get along, given we've spent our entire lives feeling different and outcast. I wonder if we'd feel like we finally found like-minded peers or if we'd just feel alone together.

@sierra9743

Жыл бұрын

That's how I feel. I think people that are 4's would get along so well.

@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou

Жыл бұрын

@@sierra9743 I'd like to partner with some app developer to design some sort of app which can connect people based on different paradigms like enneagram types, astrology signs, Chinese zodiac animals, and political/philosophical/religious beliefs. A component of it could also be to connect people with supposedly incompatible types/beliefs so people can get exposure to a diverse array of other people, and not just those who think like them.

I’m a 4w3 and you absolutely nailed it when you sad 4s love personality typing systems and why! It absolutely makes me feel seen and not alone, I do wish people would use the enneagram to understand me better. I’m so grateful my wife (1w2) now uses it to understand me, I have no doubt our relationship would still be very strained if she hadn’t discovered it. You were also spot on that I do love meeting other 4s. People often incorrectly assume 4s individuality are threatened by other 4s and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve had so many instances where I’ve hit it off with someone, only to find out later that they’re a fellow 4. I think a big contributor is that I’m able to jump right into deep, emotional conversations with them which makes me feel a stronger connection with them.

Thanks Hillary for this video. This has really helped know for sure that I am a type 4. This has further helped clarify that I am spot on, no doubt a 4. My three I picked were 4, 5 and 2. But, the 4 really sounds like me to the core.

Wow! I have been debating weather I was a 3 or a 4 for a long time now and this video made me feel very seen! And so understood, Yes, I feel like this video helped me realize that I am an enneagram 4! Truly amazing!!!! Thank you for offering me this clarity. 🤗♥️

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Love that it helped you!!!! Thank you for sharing!

I used to test as a type 7 but I've consistently tested as a type 4 for the past few years. It's so funny because I am obsessed with personality typing. I am an infj on the mbti personality test. Almost everything in this video resonates with me. Great video highly accurate ❤️

I’ve been trying to decide if I was a 4 or 9 which were my most common results taking different tests and this video solidified that I am indeed a 4, and proud of it!

I love your explanations you are very insightful

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

This is amazing. Thank you

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

I had to pause this video multiple times because I was just shocked because it felt like you were making a video about me 😭 i've never felt like this, like I really feel like I discovered myself

@enneagramandcoaching

Жыл бұрын

Awwww! Love this! Thank you for sharing!❤️

im very in touch with my emotions but not with others as much as i should be

Hillary, love it! I have all 12 of the 10 signs of a Type 4! 🤣 If you’re a 4, you know you’re a 4 because if you know, you know.

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

So freakin true! If you know you know! Love that!

I am a 4 great job! Yes to all 10. Not feeling understood is a daily exercise for me. Mostly I seek to understand myself.

@enneagramandcoaching

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing!!

Everything bang bang bang on. Except num 9, for me.

4w5....loved this!

No one has ever asked me to "fit in" haha. I actually TRY to fit in a lot, but things just dont click or vibe with others well, and later on, if i ask, theyll tell me im... "different" but cant explain it. 😩 - Im not overtly "weird", im quite a social chameleon (im a gemini if theres any astrology lovers reading this😜) but it's so annoying how there's just always something off, and ppl pick up on it and seem to not like it. 🤷‍♀️ I def feel different tho. Great vid, pretty spot on!! And thank u for saying that 4s love meeting other 4s bc it makes us feel more understood - Every other meme and type 4 thing says that we hate other 4s bc that means we're not special and unique 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Ugh! I crave and thrive off of finding similarities with others! (but then i still get a bit competitive and envious, depending🙄 lol) Im a 4w5 sx(i think) ...4, 5, 8 are the top 3 i tested at. My spouse is a 5w6 sp. Im also: mbti: INTP-T (borderline infp) Astrology: gem sun, aqua moon, libra asc. (I DO love personality stuff 😜)

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Love this comment! Thank you for sharing your experience as a 4. I absolutely love hearing from 4s.

@schwartz_family3835

3 жыл бұрын

same

I love your videos ❤ and your energy ✨ 💕

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Couldn't determine whether I'm 4 or 5 (4w5 or 5w4), but now I'm leaning towards Type 4. (Thanx!)

This was great. I"m doing a soul search at 50 as I venture into new things and i wasn't sure if i was a 4 or 7 as i mask extroversion a lot. This nailed it for me. And my 5-wing research means i have done a thorough, intensive search on this!! But your explanation of why we love personality typing system was like a AHA moment. And the thoughts and feelings merging was what nailed it for me, as this is my deciding factor. I am doing repressed. Anyway thanks, this completes my research ha ha!! I get now i am a 4w3 wing and i grew up with a mother (3 or 1) who said put a smile on your face so that really confused me as i habitised to do this. I get now its kinda the 3 chameleon aspect. I can switch it on when i am out publically but i love my alone time. People think i'm an extrovert, and when they say that i think you really don't know me at all. I am now trying to carve the second half of my life more authentically true as a 4, as i see i have not honoured this within me due to a generation that just didn't understand my differencE!!!

@enneagramandcoaching

Жыл бұрын

Wow. I LOVE THIS. ❤️

@taradoris6543

Жыл бұрын

I went back to uni and studied literature and it was like finding my tribe. Poetry, philosophy etc right up my alley. You are amazing. Such thorough work thanks 🙏🏼

@taradoris6543

Жыл бұрын

And envy. Sounds so irrational but i am envious of this generation and their ability to have these needs met early on. Irrational but ties into the envy of 4. Envying qualities and oppoetunities of others. If only someone had seen my potential, steered my creativity, etc. that rescuer

Okay 4 here. ... that part about not wanting to fit in... ironic. This year... got let go from a job and the reason that was put on my dismissal notice... "She doesn't fit in with the direction we want to go as an organization." It was the first time anyone told me that in an employment situation. Maybe that is a good thing. Thank you. Very insightful.

I'm a 4 wing 5 and this is all VERY relatable!

Spot on! 💯

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Woot! Woot!

I’m a 4 wing 5, we do have more an ability to detach but our undercurrent is drama and deep feelings. Wing 3 /4s are going to be more outgoing. I use the wing 3 when I’m in a situation that requires extroversion. I’m acting though and wonder afterwards who that person was. As we mature in our 4 space, we will outgrown envy and learn to control hypersensitivity - or just stay away from critical people. Although my profession is law, I’ve worked in human rights, going the direction of 1 and 2 - using my 5 wing to be objective. However, I am trained to sing opera, and sing professionally as a side line and have always dabbled in the arts - was accepted into the Corcoran Art school as a child, love nature and can have the deepest conversations with people without being shy or hiding. You are right too, I wish more people would take the time to study enneagram and Myers Briggs. Thanks for your observations. Are you an Enneagram 6w7 or 9w1? One last point, I really resent it when people type me as an attorney, so mundane and does not reflect the complexity of my personality. Probably why I stopped practicing law.

I'm having difficulty figuring out whether I'm a 4w3, 7w6 or 7w8... I relate so much to both types 4 and 7! Hopefully I can figure it out soon

Yes I’m definitely a type four everything resonates with me. The first time now I took the test four and nine were the top two for my personality but nine didn’t really sit with me and who I am. Plus I am an INFJ in the Myers Briggs. I am recently just learning about personality types I never knew they had these systems and I am so excited to finally find something I can finally really see that I am heard and seen for who I am. I do fit into somewhere that there’s others like me and I want to meet more. All the things that have been said about the four really describes me and what I really feel on the inside. Never in my whole life have I ever felt like I fit in but I never wanted to. I don’t want to become something I’m not just to please others. It’s best to be my authentic self and if some don’t like me for that I need to learn that it is fine they don’t need them to. That has always been a struggle for me because it hurts when people don’t like you for who you truly are but I would much rather just stay true to myself and know that I am of worth no matter what.

All of them were right on.

Infp 4w5 here. Nature, beauty, culture. Absolutely. Thank you for that. Everything else was spot on too. I just wish that people would stop saying that we are special or eccentric because i find it to be insulting. We definitely seek harmony. And i speak for myself, the ways in which i feel different are not so much a need to be, as if thats just what i want. Instead, its just how my perception was of my life experiences among others. And, how my individual story is seperate. All of ours are. But with me, there is a drive for coming close to i can to my own truth. A drive to derive meaning and purpose from my life position. When i hear the terms "special" or "eccentric" I think of an artsy chick with wild clothes rebelling against her family and society. Angsty. I also think it sounds selfish, nearly narcissistic...implying inmaturity. I dont need to be special. Infact, i pride myself in seeing the potential in others. I want connection and understanding. Believe me, i have had jobs thst were terrible for an infp 4w5. I also had a humbled life... Im not immune to survival and conforming to do so!! But, its a strain on my spirit. The demands of the world are just not how i process it. Theres alot of disappointment! Theres alot of lonliness. And it can rob your energy so you dont have room to be who you are. Im 48 years old, and very lost. When all i want is to be passionate and private...yet find somebody or place i belong. Create dreams. But, i swear....its like the world builds highways through my heart. And harsh inner cities through my soul. I have watched MBTI and enneagram videos countless of times to understand people. Meanwhile, when in person...I still want to run from them! Protect what i believe and want. Escape and escspe. What do i talk about with people when they break out the politics and subjects? The news? What news? I know myself. Thats all the news i need. Im down for fiction discussion though. Write poetry together? Draw? I dont pay attention to the lines in a live play. But, it conjurs my own deep experiences. I appreciate the costumes, the energy, the facial expressions. You know whats so interesting about my need for and love of nature? The fact that its so real. I dont use my extroverted sensing function. (Been lost too many times to admit). However i am sensual. And i weave my inner with the outer world on my wood walks. Spending countless hours alone. When someone else would burst that bubble and call me crazy.

Thanks the video is very helpful 😊

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

You're welcome 😊

I relate to #7... my motto "awkward is my super power "

So true... I wonder how many other 4s are also INFJs too like me?

I am an extroverted type 4 haha and all those itens ressonate with me. Even in social situations im very good at responding, but not always I feel like approaching people that...you know...just ``don`t interest me. so good well thought out

Grab the torch we are traveling to the darkness. 😂😂😂🤘

I relate to pretty much all of these. Couple of things about me that qustions maybe Im a 5w4 instead of a 4w5 is the sitting in negative emotions I will cuz when Im feeling something what choice do I have lol but I dont like it. I want the tide to turn as quickly as possible and if I sit I spiral if I distract myself things will start shifting. Also the stress and growth I connect more to the 5's rather then the 4's. Time to get in touch with Hillary sensie for a consult

Enfp with ADHD here, hell of a combination!!!

Could you have a 4 that doesn't care so much about individualism or elitism? I really think my husband is a 4w3 after years of analysis. His key motivations are more finding his significance, being seen as successful, and heeding to his emotional states, but he doesn't seem to care that much about being an individual. Actually, he tends to try to be accepted a bit more and sometimes tries to build his identity based off of people he admires. He sometimes likes imagining his past and potential successes and achievements more than working toward them, though he actually is very talented. Another confusing thing is that he does seem afraid/avoidant of the dark side of his emotions in the sense that he uses escapism and addiction to get away from these darker emotions and traumas he doesn't want to face, but he also gives them priority over everything else. The "tips for growth" and unhealthier states of 4 relate to him more than any other type, but it throws me off there are some key 4 things he doesn't seem to have. (e.g I am much more elitist than he is about taste and aesthetics...) Edit: I got to the end of the video where you call the core desire "to feel special and unique for exactly who you are". I don't think my husband feels like that exactly... but he relates to other 4 motivations we've read about like "finding his special significance"

9 was sooo spot on

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

Thanks for your vid. I think my type is 4 or 5

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

You are welcome! ❤️

I would say I resonated 100% with 8 out of 10 of these signs but this is the first video I watched. Going to watch 5 now because when I did the test I actually came out 5 wing 4. Gonna check out 9 as well as I might be that based on another one of your videos that I watched

I'm still confused I thought I was a 6 then a 5 but the possibility of a 4 is striking with me

@PS-qn4oz

3 жыл бұрын

Same. I'm a nerdy, information-hoarding (5), skeptical (6), tree-hugger/artistic type (4).

this was a good video:))) You remind me of Lorelai Gilmore from Gilmore Girls

@enneagramandcoaching

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks! I have gotten that before LOL

Im Extroverted sunny 4... Two things had me missedtyped as a 7 for years..... 1. Being an extrovert. Because 4's must be introverted dark secretive....not me....I share my feelings.....and I have a shit load of feelings. I can share my feeling with strangers..... 2. Taking sad feelings and mix it with humor. And thats not to deflect pain (type 7) its to share pain that everybody can understand my pain. to take the negative and turn it into a positive. Thanx for the sunny 4 video....!!!!

@enneagramandcoaching

3 жыл бұрын

Yay! Thanks for sharing your journey!

The first 9, yes! The 10th, I have struggled with the negativity that 4s and feelers seem to get. Haha 🤣

YES. THANK YOU.