Пікірлер

• 
  @madalinaanton32533 күн бұрын

  I have this schema and I often find myself having therapy in my own head, preparing to defend myself in front of a future therapist. I have been in therapy for a short period of time and it was a lot of me crying, she kinda wanted me to stop crying so she made me do all these exercises and meditations that felt very invalidating and like she wanted me to stop being crazy .

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  @alantracy675722 күн бұрын

  Pointless load as sacrificing is a positive thing for people you love

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  @LemoncareАй бұрын

  The fix…? Tune in to the next video! as usual

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  @SarahBoyd002Ай бұрын

  I seem to have all the modes. Overwhelming.

• 
  @RY-fe3rtАй бұрын

  Some dubious "therapists" I've encountered actively try and create a leaky bucket so they can plug up the holes. They also have the gall to weaponize therapy speak against the bucket when it refuses to leak. Talk about fundamentally flawed! 😂 Nice to see you guys are nothing like that. #2341

• 
  @anb9252 ай бұрын

  My therapist has been working with me on these two schemas that were prominent in my results. I did set some boundaries and my boyfriend was outraged and my boss wasn’t too pleased either so now I’m single and leaving the job, but wow. I feel so empowered and I realize that I was attracting people who had their own set of schemas (entitled 😂) and I’m on a journey to have healthy boundaries in life and to be open and upfront about my needs. This therapy has changed my life

• 
  @okay55133 ай бұрын

  i just felt safe and understood, which i confused with love

• 
  @paulamacrae90293 ай бұрын

  Loved the baby's input 😂😊

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  @Phoenix4875594 ай бұрын

  That sound at the beginning and end is very unnerving. It’s very sharp and abrupt and just awful please change it or just get rid of the sound.

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  @wonder77984 ай бұрын

  Especially with state insurance, they limit therapy to every 2 weeks it wastes time because you're having to start over every week due to the disconnect when awaiting the next session

• 
  @user-kr1ww9cr5f4 ай бұрын

  Thanks for this teaching

• 
  @kaijuno5 ай бұрын

  Really helpful! Thank you 💗

• 
  @ootenba59105 ай бұрын

  This is a hard one to tackle. I get a strong physical reaction (fear) when I have to enforce boundaries. Often times I find it takes so much energy & also guilt thoughts looping & looping, I rather submit. Not helpful in the long run, also causes passive agressiveness/burnout. I am currently tackling these with EMDR! ❤

• 
  @user-om8mf4on5j5 ай бұрын

  thank-you

• 
  @JollyMidnight6 ай бұрын

  XD ...

• 
  @justjack40307 ай бұрын

  This describes my relationship right now. It's so frustrating. I'm the attached she's the avoidant. I feel helpless sometimes

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  @benadams29268 ай бұрын

  I disagree with emdr being an option in the beginning, without the processing skills it's just opening Pandora's box with no way of processing.

• 
  @whoami16549 ай бұрын

  Is it possible to heal from all of this

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust9 ай бұрын

  Yes it is possible to get healing from this schema! We encourage you to seek out a schema therapist in your area.

• 
  @dr.nefisee500210 ай бұрын

  Thank you

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust9 ай бұрын

  You're welcome!

• 
  @laxpras19803110 ай бұрын

  Thanks for the schema explanations. This knowledge changes so much for people who are struggling with these mindsets .

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust9 ай бұрын

  Glad it was helpful!

• 
  @lifestylelines11 ай бұрын

  Extremely important topic. Thanks for sharing this ❤

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust9 ай бұрын

  You are so welcome

• 
  @lukecarey613 Жыл бұрын

  Hi, so I’m studying Counselling but I’m going to be really honest and I hope it’s helpful. When I’m a client, and I’ve had numerous therapists, I’ve become used to the fact that sexual transference is just something that crops up occasionally with opposite sex Counsellors or psychologists. It has never had to become an overt conversation but it is very much based on the fact that the counsellor is emotionally healthy and is almost unconditionally present and ‘calm’. Using words like ‘appropriate’ or ‘inappropriate’ go straight to my shame centre. I don’t have a solution but I hope some of that is helpful from a client perspective. Thanks for the video.

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust11 ай бұрын

  Thanks so much for your feedback!

• 
  @Akhhmorn Жыл бұрын

  You both deserve more subscribers. ❤

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust9 ай бұрын

  We appreciate your support!

• 
  @shamimgreedy2706 Жыл бұрын

  Then how should I treat this?

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust9 ай бұрын

  We address how to treat these schemas in training and there are some great clinician and client resources including "Reinventing your Life" by Jeffrey Young as well as more recent Your Coping Skills Aren't Working: Move Beyond the Outdated, Ineffective Habits That Once Worked but Now Hold You Back by Richard Brouillette

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  @lugosi7308 Жыл бұрын

  I'm 42. I just got aware of these schemas I hope its not too late to work on them and heal

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Not too late at all !

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  @petekay6711 ай бұрын

  It's not too late. I started Schema Therapy at 48 and it has allowed me to live a life I never knew existed. I'm now 56 and my schemas and modes all have names and "personalities" that come and go like old friends, the difference being that Healthy Adult mode whose name is Happy can comfort, soothe, advise and combat the negative modes. I'm a bit of a Schema Therapy fan boy 😊

• 
  @Addy754 Жыл бұрын

  How can someone score very high on both entitlement and self-sacrifice schemas? They seem like opposites

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  In different situations/relationships we can have different schemas get activated. Also acting in a self-sacrificing way depletes us to the point of then possibly shifting into acting in an entitled way and then feeling guilty and then jumping back into self-sacrifice (on and on!)

• 
  @spoony01428 Жыл бұрын

  damn the thing about I need space really resonated with me, I do this a lot. bullseye and ballpark is a good way of outlining it

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Glad it's helpful!

• 
  @phemyda94 Жыл бұрын

  Most people's reaction to loved ones with this schema is to keep insisting "there's nothing wrong with you", which comes from a good place but can feel invalidating to the patient, because if there's nothing wrong with me, why do I feel so constantly wretched and ashamed? You can't challenge the schema until you've really acknowledged how it feels

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Yes good point!

• 
  @tetrahexaeder6312 Жыл бұрын

  You said that Shame/Defectiveness is one of the 'big four' schemas. What are the other three? Shame is definitely one of my biggest schemas. I can absolutely agree that it is one of the hardest to get rid of. Been struggling with it for a decade now. :/

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Hi Tetra, it's a very tough schema and usually requires specific therapy support. Keep going! The other "big schemas" are in the connection domain and are Abandonment, Emotional Deprivation, Mistrust/Abuse and Social Isolation. The are part of our attachment and threat systems and so, can be the most challenging to heal.

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  @tetrahexaeder6312 Жыл бұрын

  @@schematherapyinstituteaust Thank you for the quick answer! :) I'm doing my best, thanks!

• 
  @axetrance Жыл бұрын

  Thank you!

• 
  @popescuada8848 Жыл бұрын

  Thank you for posting this.

• 
  @MsVivian99 Жыл бұрын

  Love these teachings

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  @blissbombseventeen8114 Жыл бұрын

  I have this schema, no maternal bond, or affection, emotions ignored etc. but I’m more avoidant in intimate relationships. Like I’m mirroring what I didn’t see or experience as a child. Is this a normal one too?

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  yes there are different ways of coping with the schema - have a look at the avoidant coping modes.

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  @blissbombseventeen8114 Жыл бұрын

  Thank you 🙏! I will have a look and bring it to my psychologist xx

• 
  @jenniho-huan5371 Жыл бұрын

  very helpful. in my faith, we hv a holding cross...this helps me see how it is helpful. just wonder if Rita can stabilise her video? maybe get a gyro stand. :D Thanks so much!

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  So glad it is helpful for you!

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  @flaviomedina3781 Жыл бұрын

  This is me hard time, it hurts. It's like inside me there's a constant source of sadness and feeling that the world would be better off without me.

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Flavio we encourage you to seek out therapy support as that's such a hard thing to feel.

• 
  @lambchop6278 Жыл бұрын

  You could look into Codependency , it could be a possibility. I have these and find good help from reading, doing work shops and listening to KZread talks on it and on recovering from Narcissistic abuse. Look into whether these issues are relevant to you and take it from there.

• 
  @NESgrastu Жыл бұрын

  At 4:30 you say that what the helper says needs to be authentic. But I know they're doing that to help, so how can I take it seriously when knowing that. ✌🏻

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Thanks for your question. We encourage therapists to share their genuine care and concern for the person that they are working with in order to help the client have a felt experience of acceptance. Even though they are sharing it to be helpful that doesn't make it inauthentic. Often client can find it hard to hear those words and may feel "you are just saying that because you are my therapist". But that is the schema talking. If it's genuine from the therapist it isn't "just because you are my therapist:" it's true and over time, with repetition and genuine care those messages do start to sink in. Hope that helps!

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  @NESgrastu Жыл бұрын

  @@schematherapyinstituteaust Thank you for your response. I will try to see it like that. Guess I still have a long way to go!

• 
  @hollycox9946 Жыл бұрын

  My therapist gave me a handout on schemas and asked me to pick which ones I identify with most. Your videos have really helped me to understand the schemas and reflect on which ones I relate to most. Thank you!

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  So glad it has been helpful for you Holly!

• 
  @CursedWheelieBin Жыл бұрын

  How else could an adult male receive warmth and nurture other than through sex though? Kinda sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Is a need for warmth really the driver?

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  There could be many drivers. The ideas in these videos are general in nature and we encourage people to access individualised therapy support to explore their schemas and how they relate to sex.

• 
  @katja63322 жыл бұрын

  What do you think is the connection between unrelenting standards and failure schema with perfectionism?

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Hi Katja, that's a great question! Each person has unique ways that schemas connect, but often the Unrelenting Standards schema is operating to "protect" a client from the Failure schema - "if I do everything perfectly I won't fail", but that just reinforces failure schema.

• 
  @katja6332 Жыл бұрын

  @@schematherapyinstituteaust thanks for your answer. Is there a book or scientific literature that you can recommend about the connection between those schemas, like one is the base and the other is reinforcing the base? If not, don't mind. And what's your opinion on "schema chemistry" between two persons. Like A) has defectiveness/shame, unrelenting standards and entitlement and B has emotional deprivation, self sacrifice and abandonment Are there studies that research those "chemistries" between two people, be it parent child or romantic partners?

• 
  @katja63322 жыл бұрын

  I was in a relationship with a guy who was having unrelenting standards /hypercriticalness. He had more Schemata active, but when he looked at his results, he said "I want to keep those, they are not a problem". I suffered a lot from this, because he was never satisfied with anything, last week my therapist said that he was a narcissist. He was putting pressure on others and felt angry if the other person was not meeting his unreasonable expectations. She said, many narcissist have the schema (she's a schema therapist by the way). I am healing now with the help of my therapist from all the pressure and unreasonable expectations and rage he put me through. Just three years were enough to crush my self- worth.

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  @xangierichardsx2 жыл бұрын

  I would love to understand more about how this schema shows up in relationships. I’ve just realised how belittling, demanding and insensitive I am with my partner. I want more Joy and less constant hustle, but I’m not sure how to catch it and correct it before it ruins my relationship.

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Hi Angela, We are hoping to provide more about schemas in relationships in the coming months - stay tuned!

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  @krystinmetz59442 жыл бұрын

  3:00 💔💔💔

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  @krystinmetz59442 жыл бұрын

  Well I may not have been seen then but atleast I'm feeling seen watching this video because this is real. I'm a poster child for how true this really is. And I know so many suffer through emotional deprevation, I pray for their peace and healing.

• 
  @EllyLugosi Жыл бұрын

  💝💝💝

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  @jessicacollins64072 жыл бұрын

  My therapist started the 2 times a week sessions and then suddenly went to every other a week without discussing it which just reminded me I'm unwanted. That's fine not unusual really

• 
  @schematherapyinstituteaust2 жыл бұрын

  Jessica thanks for your comment. We encourage clients to share these feelings with therapists because they can be very schema-reinforcing. All the best!

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  @Mouse_labyrinth2 жыл бұрын

  I dont get therapy over 4 years and have to wait all the time, for nothing! ☹️

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  It can be really hard to get the help you need. Sorry to hear that.

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  @Mouse_labyrinth Жыл бұрын

  ​@@schematherapyinstituteaust my answer is 11 months old. Guess what i haven't get! This is incompetence of system! I would do it better when I wouldn't be forced to live in trauma. The offender never makes a therapy. Offender never get judged! Gouverment is more busy with war then to repair. More busy with filling up the bags with money then care for citizenship!

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  @queengoblin2 жыл бұрын

  I have the subjugation one!! I could never speak up for myself because my parents made me homeless when I was unapologetically myself!!!! I'm just discovering this and I feel like I've unlocked the keys to happiness & success knowing this information oh my god!!!!! I just need to be unapologetically SELFISH and refuse to do things I don't want to do and speak up when I'm not liking things!!!!! I need to be a diva!!!!! I love this sm

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  @queengoblin2 жыл бұрын

  @TheDoogieT I'm not looking for advice but thank you! Selfishness is not narcissism. Narcissism is being in scarcity/ survival mode. Selfishness is necessary to be a healthy person. If you do not put on your mask in the airplane first, you pass out before you can help anyone else. Narcissism is taking everyone elses' masks because yours might break and then refusing to help the person next to you.

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  @queengoblin2 жыл бұрын

  @TheDoogieT you too Doogie

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  Glad you are finding this helpful!

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  @BlackBros20102 жыл бұрын

  Thank you very much!!!!

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  @Killian_Eden2 жыл бұрын

  Hi I am a trader and I do analyse before I trade and when I come to the live market I’m experiencing fear of missing out . I have found that this is schema of having the overwhelming urge to be right. In order to replace this schema with discipline I have recorded my voice re activating the schema and then adding a statement of dis confirmation. Due to trading being very psychological . Is there a more effective way of over riding this schema, your content is great thankyou!

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  @schematherapyinstituteaust Жыл бұрын

  HI Asap Rows, we encourage people to seek out therapy support as schemas are very challenging and the therapy relationship in Schema Therapy is a very healing experience

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  @juliahart85932 жыл бұрын

  Awesome concept.

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  @elleharding012 жыл бұрын

  This was very helpful - many thanks 🙂