Through this channel I hope to educate, validate, empower and support those of you who have experienced narcissistic abuse in your childhood, as well as in relationships. I am also dedicated to teaching self-compassion to those of you living with the effects of an inner critic.
As well as being a qualified Cognitive Behavioural Life coach (British Psychological Society approved), I am also passionate about sharing my knowledge on Complex PTSD, as a survivor of narcissistic abuse myself. Additionally, I have training in Inner child healing & therapeutic art life coaching and counselling.
I am currently taking on new clients, so please drop me an email at [email protected]
****My new course: 'Healing from narcissistic abuse', my ebook 'Dealing with CPTSD triggers in relationships' and my Assertiveness PDF course are on my website at:
couragecoaching.net
Love Athina x
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You are explaining my story, how to get out this bloody cycle? I've lost my time.. SOS.... SOS..
I am going through the loss of my 96 year old mother, she's in hospital right now and the end is near. All my life her unhappiness has affected me and I felt a very strong compulsion to fix things for her. Whatever she needed, whatever was bothering her l was there to make it better. She claimed to have 'suffered all her life' and that meant that I was permanently on call to soothe her. I never questioned it until l learnt about narcissistic behaviour and now have woken up. I have loved her intensely and now I feel relief that she's shortly going to be released from this world. My feelings are all over the place because she rarely showed me any love or concerns about me and my life, it was always about her. I am hoping to enjoy my future without worrying about her ever again.
@@7632ant You will survive her death and slowly be able to find yourself again. These types of mothers take so much you are left wondering who you truly are. Sending hugs
@@CourageCoaching Thank you for your kind comments.
My mom is in coma & won't live out week...Long, drawn-out death by Alzheimer's. Had last rights read to her yesterday. She beat me up emotionally ALL my childhood & it was only with intense weekly therapy was I able to 'expunge' my childhood trauma's & come to terms with the fact I never had the love/emotional support I saw other kids get from their parents. Thank God dad saw the pain in my eyes sometimes, but even he was not strong enough to stop her abusive, rants, out-of-control anger flare-ups I grew up with at least weekly! It damaged me. I have come full circle & have learned to embrace the trauma & learned to love myself. At Peace tho mom is RIP. Not sad.
@@Iknowalittle I am sorry for all you have suffered but now is your time to shine and be free.
Its so humiliating to have a mother like this😢
Keep finding myself in a fog being around my toxic narcissistic gaslighting father and my hateful bully sister they both bully , gaslight my reality , disrespect my boundaries. I receive silent treatment, isolation, ghosting , treated like shit , feeling less than or not good enough basically I walk on eggshells trying to please them. Like damn if I do damn if I don't !
You are describing the range of emotions I feel. I’m 71. My narcissistic mother died in 2020 at the age of 96. Dreams keep her alive. My mother was a vengeful individual and I cannot see her as a sad person. My face is a Roadmap “My face is a roadmap of paralyzed fear It lost its contour of shine Where sadness appears. My face is a roadmap To my story afraid to unfold My face is a roadmap Of all the tears buried beneath the road. My face is a roadmap Where once there was light Molesting father, narcissistic mother Darkened it to ashen abysmal night. For years my hidden molestation is what I thought shredded my soul that didn’t compare to the narcissistic abuse my mother, bestowed. Trampling my heart, lungs, and vocal cords. My face is a roadmap Of Christian demise Respect honor your parents at all cost Are the lies. I didn’t fight back, l didn’t utter a word. I didn’t even know what was a loving healthy world. My face is a roadmap Aging lines of past frequent attacks From a shell of a mother Regardless of the mountain of love showered upon Her impenetrable heart sac. You’re selfish Self centered Even a whore Girls are so difficult, her constant verbal act, My face is a roadmap Wiped out by the tidal wave of trauma Voice smothered to the depths of all that Surreal drama. Good days I’m grateful to be alive, Rough days I struggle to stay to survive. My face is a roadmap Years layered with abusive narcissistic tasks My life dismissed by siblings Turned my roadmap to a pretend happy mask. My face is a roadmap It conceals Reveals A generation of trust built on sand A broken trust in me Constantly needs A helping hand I author this piece to drive out my fears I want to claim happiness What’s left of my years. My face is a roadmap Blake stares To a far away place Where all children are gently loved Always kept safe.” “Phyllis, the mother Narcissism deep in your soul. Sought to crush me, but despite your best efforts My heart is pure loving gold. You went to your grave revelling in your supposed revenge. What a pathetic legacy I seek no avenge. I will conquer CPTSD I will conquer chronic fatigue I will live a life full of compassion That is what my life is meant to be. “ Kimi Swanson Minor
Thank you for sharing this powerful poetry! I am sorry you have suffered such pain and trauma! You deserved love and safety!
Thanks so much! I had no idea! This makes so much sense.
Unless you get away from these people, you'll be in constant fog. Even after you go no contact it will feel FOGgy for a while.
I have developed aggraphobia and can't leave my narcissistic husband until I get better, however on the other hand I feel the abuse has placed me in constant flight n fight mode which doesn't help. I feel very trapped and hopeless.
I am so sorry to hear this! Have you got any support outside your marriage?
I have went through similar. She ruined a good career before it started. The police had to remove her. I used to hide in a closet in the fetal position shaking in fear.
@CourageCoaching I am seeing a psychologist thank you kindly 🙏
@@grb2017 I am glad to hear that! Take good care of yourself!
@grb2017 I am glad you have a psychologist for support! Agoraphobia is tough! Sending hugs your way!
Cheers for sharing
Thank you for these helpful videos! I would like to share that ever since emojis were invented, I notice that the narcissistic people in my life, now only family that I limit contact with, will only respond with the emojis. My NPD father is the worst with this! I will send him a birthday text and he responds with a thumbs up or a hand clap emoji. There’s no emotional response! He also loves to send me pictures of himself and his friends or vacation spots and tries to get me to react. At first I didn’t pick up on it so I would send a nice text back on how fun and great but he would then respond back with an emoji. It’s awful and still hurts me. I now only respond with an emoji back and never initiate conversation anymore. I’m almost 40 and I still have difficulty accepting that this is how my father is! I’ve done so much work around healing from growing up with my borderline mother who my father left and I stayed to take care until she passed but I never saw the reality about my father until a few years ago. I’m realizing this could be life long healing work for me. Thank you again for your helpful videos!
You are most welcome and I am sorry you have had to deal with personality disordered parents! It is indeed a lifetime of healing but there is progress and it helps!
@@CourageCoaching Ah thank you so much for your kind reply and encouragement!! Yes, absolutely and your videos are really helpful to understand these dynamics more!! Thank you again and many blessings to you 🙏🏻💗
Help I have gotten away. But my life is ruined.
Feel free to email me Michael at [email protected]
@@CourageCoaching - I shall.
This is so accurate about my mother, it’s amazing.
Their friends have no idea which is terrifying, the stealth secrecy
Το ζώ ....❤
Dead on😢
Thank you for this video. My mother has been "dying" for more than 30 years LOL! It's amazing how she has managed to create a circle of suppliers/hostages around her who try to guiltrip or shame me by calling me a bad daughter. I tell them: You will all die before her. LOL.
Mine is like ultra covert slash long game slash I'm not sure lmfao. Somehow put into the parent role super young along with super narc grandparents and uncle. While my grandfather coming too find out was quite possibly the local cocaine kingpin cop. With crooked buddies too bother me. And basically every corrupt thing that could happen has.all ive ever wanted to do is save the planet 😂. At least try.
I have been no contact with my mother for almost two years now, mostly because she thinks that, because I am her child, I am not deserving of any respect from her. I am 55. She still texts me from time to time to tell me how childish and immature I am. Today she texted that, if I thought I was going to show up at her funeral acting like the devoted, caring, loving daughter I would want everyone to think I was, that I should "Think again, dear." Yes. I've been disinvited from my own Mother's funeral, because she thinks my no contact is, as she puts it, "pouting like a five year old"... This is really rattling, but I'm doing my level best to stay on track with being well for myself... Thanks for this video, Athina. Your timing is perfect. ❤
Sadly, as always, she is projecting her immature '3 year old' thoughts onto you because she isn't getting what she wants. This is so painful for you and well done despite this for still moving forward and putting yourself first. Take care. Much love!
Great advice, Athina! Thanks. ❤
I do this. Parents and ex girlfriend.
Those who claim to be self aware, arent self aware if their apology is only superficial.
ENGULFMENT IS NOT RELATIONSHIP!
This abuse can heighten when the daughter is in that 18 - 25 year old age range. The narc mother burns with envy seeing her daughter in the bloom of her peak “physical attraction” - she can’t stand it when guys check out the daughter but not her, for the first time in her life she’s realizing that she’s not the object of people’s desire. I know this sounds politically incorrect but let’s face it, much of human nature is driven by primal instincts and the shadow self, especially when it comes to narc parents. Narc fathers also envy their sons in that same age range for the same reason. Especially if they are getting a lot of attention from girls. The narc father is reminded of all the girls he didn’t have the courage to ask out, so watching his son enjoy an active dating life burns him with rage. He can’t stand the fact that he’ll never get to have that experience.
My mom would embarrass me infront of my family members so she could degrade me. Also I could never tell her anything confidential as she would tell everyone. She would use it against me later. Sometimes she would make up things about me to disparage me.
I found lately, narcissism is not a mental health diagnosis; it is a diagnosis of a group of people who are cowards and are *unwilling* to look at themselves. You can call it an illness but at the end of the day, it is a category of people who choose to abuse people and choose not to look at themselves. The pay back is coming to all of them. They choose this way of alienating all in their lives. It is not a sickness. It a choice of cowards.
She has been dead 40 years- and still ruining my life.
Don't let her. Caryl McBride Will I ever be enough? Guide for daughters of narcisstic mothers. Be your own mother. Give yourself the mothering you needed. You got from your mother abuse, not mothering. No protect yourself internally from abusers by talking to yourself like a good mother would. She would not let anybody abuse you.
@@RippleDrop. - Thank you. There is your unconscious. And it has as much control as anything. I’m reading Incognito by David Eagleman. A friend gave it to me. Mom hated me, never hugged me once, blamed me for all her problems- even before I was born. I can go on. A lot of it was preverbal.
Thank you.
Excellent! Thank you!
People with asd like me have MELTDOWNS. You were describing a TANTRUM
Run!
I didn’t know my father growing up. So naturally my mother found all her worth in me. She eventually remarried and had 4 other kids. I was always her whole world. But I began to realize how narcissistic she was if I didn’t make her feel so loved. If I didn’t tell her how wonderful she was. She never apologized ever to me growing up and constantly gaslights me. I’m now married with two kids and we don’t talk at all because she refuses to change and would rather not speak to me than apologize for things like going through my phone and looking at texts between my wife and I. Anytime I call her out on something nicely and respectfully she gets emotional, cries, and twists the story to fit her narrative. My wife and I have unfortunately come to the conclusion that it’s time to move on. It so hard to mentally get her out of my head. But I’m convinced that it’s best to go on in life without her.
Could self sabotage be a result of such a mother?
Absolutely! See my other video on self-sabotage! kzread.info/dash/bejne/lGqn0LiEeczQito.html
I have 3 diagnosed autistic children and my youngest is awaiting an ADHD and Dyslexia assessment. I'm genuinely worried that anyone would think this is due to wanting attention or sympathy when in reality, their diagnosis has opened up access to help for them in education. I see many similar traits of Autism in myself (especially ones my Daughter shows) and I am awaiting assessment myself. Im worried that Neurodiversity can look like Narcissism
Sadly neurodiversity can be mistaken for narcissism sometimes..but once you get your diagnosis for autism, it will be okay! I wish you and your family all the best!
I just say, "Keep me out of it" and put my hands up and leave the situation
First example is also considered parental alienation.
i have all the traits and they are pretty severe but sometimes i can make decisions if i have the ok from someone else or if its something i thing that i need so i have to make the decision but its impossible for me to leave alone. even when i make desicions i need someone to hear about it. or i will not.
Thank you for sharing! I know it can be tough!
My schizophrenic (diagnosed at 65) and narcissistic mother had a stroke 2 years ago and all of her dysfunctions are gone, she is in a nursing home now. My (55yr old) brother has somehow become the focal point of the narcissistic family and loved text bombing arguments about news stories and politics. I had to tell him to leave us alone after he sent his girlfriend to text my husband to destroy our marriage. I’ve gone full no contact with him last week, and the funniest part of all is it made me cherish the decision I made in 2003 to move 900 miles (1500km) away and settle. It’s peaceful away from mine and my husband’s toxic families😊
You described my mum very well. The difference for my mother is that she supports my education, because she cares a lot about her image and about my image as well. But because of our last fight I will most likely start to support my education financially by myself.
You’re sensitive because you’re looking for the love you never had as a child. Conversely you don’t think you deserve love because you could never receive it no matter what you did as a child. I never heard of narcissists until a few years ago. Turns out I was surrounded by them. They ruined my life; or more accurately I ruined my own life. I really need some help and I don’t know what to do. I had run as far away as I could. But, didn’t understand the psychology. I’m old now and can’t think my way out anymore. Help!
Help!
So I’m basically screwed but my unconscious. FTW It’s the world that keeps you trapped. Demons.
👏spot on!
SPOT ON!!!
A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH‼️😆
Amazing video
Everything you say in your videos is spot on. Thanks for helping us ❤
Wow! It’s like you spoke my mind in this video. 1000% nailed everything on the head EXACTLY. Wow. Impressive. Thanks for giving me the confirmation I was looking for.