Can you talk about impulsive aggression. My 3yo is really struggling with unprovoked and untriggered aggression? For example she will walk past a kid... turn around and kick them out of nowhere and then keep walking.
@salravioliАй бұрын
I like being moody. I’m very distrustful of others and I like to keep them away from me. Others bring nothing but suffering
@nathifamclean48473 ай бұрын
im 36 and i was dianoised with fas , or rather fasd how ever you want to label it , when i was 2 i was also tested at genius level intelligence so i can process what is said to me rather quickly how ever in the moment when some one is being repeative it VERY aggrovating even when i say " i get that " can we please move on and dont CUT them off becuase we already have difficulties with expressing what were trying to get often i i know what i want to say in my head by the time i go to say it ive lost the word and have to replace it with a simular word and wehre im thinking logically alot of people think with emotion and mistake my bluntness as malcious or something else not the case its just what the sentence is noit scarastic or meaning to hurt
@nathifamclean48473 ай бұрын
your in correct fasd is not only the mother that dirnks but can be cuased from the time of conception that the fathers sperm is effected by alchol
@hopeforfreedom3 ай бұрын
Thank you
@elizabethweisman31453 ай бұрын
i don’t understand the plan part. what’s an example of “ the plan”? the rest was so very helpful.
@cogsupports3 ай бұрын
Hi Elizabeth: "the plan" refers to what we have talked to the person about proactively. So, maybe "the plan" is that when the person gets upset, they go and walk around the backyard or they go draw in their bedroom for a few minutes. However, getting these plans to "work" in the moment is difficult and requires that the person 1) is developmentally ready to make/follow these kinds of plans and 2) that they are willing to make these plans with us. If one or both of those is not in place, planning becomes less effective and we need to focus on other supports. Nate discusses this type of planning in his book, "Essential FASD Supports" if you want a framework for getting to that point.
@gabriellak48933 ай бұрын
My family always pisses me off
@grittymelody4 ай бұрын
Again…. AGAIN after years of being a student of yours : U evoke tears 😭 for me cuz I forget to Remember -what my daughter needs from me. I LOVE YOU NATE!!!
@adamnewman17404 ай бұрын
This is me in a nutshell, literally just had a blow out at my family and it sucks.
@danielbozman7545 ай бұрын
Of course I see the benefit of learning to more positively relate to those with FASD. However, the real world isn't going to coddle our loved ones in this way. For instance, an employer is not going to tolerate insubordination and disrespect. How do we train our FASD kids to control their emotions before constantly becoming escalated?
@cogsupports5 ай бұрын
The answer to that is complicated! You might want to check out Nate's book, "Essential FASD Supports", to give you a framework of how to understand and address emotional regulation in both ourselves and our kids.
@danielbozman7545 ай бұрын
Thanks. I'll check it out.
@alysonturner27186 ай бұрын
Me🙋🏼♀️ I'm 44 years old and have just leared that I have this .
@user-se8sp9ke7h8 ай бұрын
The way to solve this is to use video or strory telling as a way to gain evidence of what really happened
@cogsupports8 ай бұрын
Maybe! It depends on what you mean by "solve" and how practical recording certain moments is for a supporter. Many kids get dysregulated--even when presented with video evidence--because the interplaying issues here go very deep. It's not about helping them "fix" their perception in many cases.
@liamlynch21158 ай бұрын
I’m almost always very irritable. I’ve tried SSRIs, ketamine, getting off caffeine, and several OTC pills. Nothing really stops it long term. I found I had low T, but bring that up doesn’t seem to help irritability either. Thank god my wife brushes it off.
@SC-oi9wp8 ай бұрын
Where are you now ?
@LeyasLife9 ай бұрын
My 8 yr old who has never had any issues before now started telling me she doesn’t feel real and she’s irritable all day long .. it’s starting to impact every part of her life. She does seem to have anxiety.
@amandastepp733110 ай бұрын
These videos are very helpful thankyou
@jeiztakosif11 ай бұрын
I watched this after seeing similarities between my mother who has had stroke and another person who I know. Both will fill in the blanks with false information when needed. They also both hate being wrong or being accused of lying.
@pa-dd9ym11 ай бұрын
I keep these on my playlist. I need to watch them more than I do. I’m so thankful to have this.
@candicane111 ай бұрын
My MIL has dementia. This makes so much sense.
@magdalenakamecka166611 ай бұрын
The last part on the big picture and family support, is gold.
@magdalenakamecka166611 ай бұрын
This is really good material, thank you
@mukhumor Жыл бұрын
Unless you are a highly paid specialist, most people haven't got the time to deal with this level of management.
@cogsupports Жыл бұрын
There is definitely a learning curve and bigger systems issues at play. However, children deserve to learn and interact in a way that works for them, and this video is a starting place. If a professional does not ever "have time" to give a child time to think, it may very well be a bad placement match for the child and their team should seek alternatives.
@mukhumor Жыл бұрын
@@cogsupports The word that springs to mind is cost.
@terriephillips2294 Жыл бұрын
My 88 year old mom has frontotemporal dementia. About a year ago she started what I would call confabulation. One or two truths would be thrown in with a long complicated story. Usually they were sad or depressing. But within months her stories became so off the wall and wild that I live in fear of loved ones coming to visit!! Recently she entertained her new doctors staff with tells of her learning to drive at the Brick Yard, setting time records that made Richard Petty tip his hat at her! She facinated the nurses with tales of the year the track was built and the company that layed the brick. She even recalled the names of the builders children who accompanied him when they weren't in school! She goes into minute detail, leaves nothing out. The next story can be about dear friends who we've known for 50 years who chained their children in closets at night, locked the kids outside all day, how it broke her heart to watch them eat worms and grass to stay alive. You never know what shes going to say. She has severely hurt several loved ones so far, what she told had zero truth to it but those loved ones have been destroyed. Not to mention how she can gut me and my family. Those loved one she hurt cant imagine what i hear as I am her full time, unpaid caregiver. I am her daughter and Ive had my heart ripped out and handed back to me many times. I love her and I know it isnt her talking but it has almost ruined my life at times. She was a wonderful and fun mother when we were kids. She also suffered a severe brain injury from a bad wreck in the 70s. So I feel its not just the dementia causing this heartbreaking symptom. All you can do is try to redirect the story or interrupt by adding light hearted funny things to make her laugh. No one knows how hard us caregivers work, especially when no one really sees us, the physical and emotional turmoil that is our life.
@laurah.16010 ай бұрын
I totally understand. I have just diagnosed my mom with this. She went on a campaign of terror when I started putting boundaries in place; I couldn't trust her anymore. 😊
@NeKisha_in_Maine9 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. We had an older gentleman we basically took in as family. He was here for every holiday, birthday, and event. He started making up crazy stories. He told us he was buried alive twice, he was a lobsterman, sheriff and mayor of a small town, he tried to get my son fired by saying he was a deviant, he said we stole from him and lastly...he competed against Arbold Schwarzenegger in body building although he is about 5 ft tall. Unfortunately, we cannot have him near our children anymore.
@joannemosley3433Ай бұрын
I understand my Dear. May God bless you and mother. I
@joannemosley3433Ай бұрын
I understand my Dear. May God bless you and mother. I
@purplerain0517 Жыл бұрын
I love Divine inspiration! What a gift you've been blessed with, to understand people on a level that others couldn't understand before! You are so very important to others in this world! You are like an umbrella in the rain!
@thenativist6330 Жыл бұрын
Nice shades..
@trinafrazier2650 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for your service my friend. These videos are amazing ❤
@TheKrispyfort Жыл бұрын
I am watching this for my 46yo self
@TheKrispyfort Жыл бұрын
False and Fraud are not the same thing
@lendelteves9620 Жыл бұрын
this is me exactly..
@matd4364 Жыл бұрын
This is good information and is helpful thank
@lballew2965 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this content!
@lballew2965 Жыл бұрын
Well said!! I'm so glad I found this content!!
@user-ls1bw2uw1j Жыл бұрын
Since you mentioned impulsivity, can interrupting and answering questions before they're ended be a sign of FASD?
@natesheets3044 Жыл бұрын
Hey there, I would not necessarily view this as a "sign" of FASD. Rather, it is a sign of some type of executive dysfunction or maybe anxiety or maybe communication divergence. So I would not be surprised at this being how the brain of someone with an FASD may interact, but also in many other situations including Autism and ADHD and many other situations.
@thirstyboots6711 Жыл бұрын
Could you cover confabulation & manipulation?
@iandavismadeinengland5881 Жыл бұрын
Very deep 👍🏻👍🏻🎯 I want to share this
@iandavismadeinengland5881 Жыл бұрын
❤️🤔 thanks for sharing
@DavisGeneral Жыл бұрын
Very helpful and insightful!
@luarnaduncan4000 Жыл бұрын
This was sooooooo good. Thank you
@cute.core. Жыл бұрын
Love your podcast and videos. Thank you so much ❤
@Angel-gb9gi Жыл бұрын
I feel so irritable like I just want everyone to go away and I am grinting my teeth and I am mean. I don't want to to be mean but I want everyone including my animals to leave me alone. I'm soon tired and just over the flu and I'm like a wounded and mad grizzly bear looking for that cave to hibernate and sleep and sleep with no noise or a single living soul near me. I'm trying to hold together but it's hard not to lash out.
@carolbindig9209 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video this has helped the staff at my daughters school understand and support her better!
@Finicki12345 Жыл бұрын
This is so helpful and I can’t wait to try it out.
@aprilbogle8112 Жыл бұрын
Nate - this is priceless information. We are still using your training with family, friends, and teachers. It makes sense for us of this crazy life we sometimes have so that we are compassionate with our daughter. AND to you - Jeff - I want to say THANK YOU dad for looking for help. As a mom of a 13 year old teen daughter, her dad lets me handle most of the hard battles. You are a gift to your son! Keep up the excellent parenting!
@starrtwilight7 Жыл бұрын
FASD is ruining my life. I need help. I love these video. I'm 40, PTSD, FASD and suicidal thoughts, and sever depression and anxiety.
@cogsupports Жыл бұрын
I am sorry to hear that. Can you tell us which city and state/province you are in? We will do our best to find you a local resource.
@starrtwilight7 Жыл бұрын
@@cogsupports Northeast Wisconsin
@cogsupports Жыл бұрын
@@starrtwilight7 Have you heard of Orchids? www.orchidsfasdservices.org/ They may be able to connect you to some resources or offer some support.
@azlynjones8933 Жыл бұрын
This is amazing! I think all of these would help with ASD too!!!!
@christynagonzalez419 Жыл бұрын
It doesn’t seem you are producing content much in the past couple of years. I wonder if it’s due to Covid? I hope you are well. I came across your video bc I was searching irritability in children who have anxiety. My 9 year old son is very anxious recently (but has always suffered from anxiety to an extent) and his attitude has become a cause of worry for me. He is easily irritated and super critical of everyone. I understand the point of trying not to escalate the situation by having my own reaction but a lot of time it’s directed at his younger sister and I can’t allow her to be his figurative punching bag. Additionally I feel he is highly critical of me, if I forget something he has to comment on it and will never let me forget the one time I did (fill in the blank). As a family I feel kind held hostage by his mood swings . If we are going out to do something either as a family or errands to the store and he doesn’t want to do it he will find things to complain the entire time to the point where it puts us in a bad mood too and it’s easier to just stay home. I know it’s the anxiety but it really just feels like he’s being a jerk bc he wants his way. Even if we try to sweeten the deal by offering something for him while we are out (like getting a pack of Pokémon cards, lol) he’s super focused on that one thing and once it’s in hand it’s immediately back to “when are we leaving?“ We just found a therapist for him and will begin that next week and I’m hoping to figure out how we can help him feel better. Anyway, good short video explaining that the irritability comes with the anxiety. That is something I just recently discovered.
@timothymurphy6018 Жыл бұрын
Question: How might schools and school staff handle students who confabulate if the false memories are in regard to behavioral incidents that may require disciplinary consequences?
@cogsupports Жыл бұрын
Hi Timothy. This is a tough question to answer in a comment as it goes back to many fundamental problems with the systems which are in place. While every situation is different, the question we should be asking is "why are disciplinary consequences required?" Regardless of confabulation, do punishments work for the student with an FASD? Probably not. So when confabulation is a part of it, there are likely many negative consequences to punishing the person if they do not think they did anything wrong (or do not agree with what is said about them). The school system not considering things like this is a big problem, which is one of the reasons why the systems need to fundamentally change how they interpret "challenging behaviors" and their responses to it.
@deb7844 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes they are quiet and passive and just basically ignore you and actions are passive aggressive.
Пікірлер
This is helpful, thank you.
I pray i can contact you.
Can you talk about impulsive aggression. My 3yo is really struggling with unprovoked and untriggered aggression? For example she will walk past a kid... turn around and kick them out of nowhere and then keep walking.
I like being moody. I’m very distrustful of others and I like to keep them away from me. Others bring nothing but suffering
im 36 and i was dianoised with fas , or rather fasd how ever you want to label it , when i was 2 i was also tested at genius level intelligence so i can process what is said to me rather quickly how ever in the moment when some one is being repeative it VERY aggrovating even when i say " i get that " can we please move on and dont CUT them off becuase we already have difficulties with expressing what were trying to get often i i know what i want to say in my head by the time i go to say it ive lost the word and have to replace it with a simular word and wehre im thinking logically alot of people think with emotion and mistake my bluntness as malcious or something else not the case its just what the sentence is noit scarastic or meaning to hurt
your in correct fasd is not only the mother that dirnks but can be cuased from the time of conception that the fathers sperm is effected by alchol
Thank you
i don’t understand the plan part. what’s an example of “ the plan”? the rest was so very helpful.
Hi Elizabeth: "the plan" refers to what we have talked to the person about proactively. So, maybe "the plan" is that when the person gets upset, they go and walk around the backyard or they go draw in their bedroom for a few minutes. However, getting these plans to "work" in the moment is difficult and requires that the person 1) is developmentally ready to make/follow these kinds of plans and 2) that they are willing to make these plans with us. If one or both of those is not in place, planning becomes less effective and we need to focus on other supports. Nate discusses this type of planning in his book, "Essential FASD Supports" if you want a framework for getting to that point.
My family always pisses me off
Again…. AGAIN after years of being a student of yours : U evoke tears 😭 for me cuz I forget to Remember -what my daughter needs from me. I LOVE YOU NATE!!!
This is me in a nutshell, literally just had a blow out at my family and it sucks.
Of course I see the benefit of learning to more positively relate to those with FASD. However, the real world isn't going to coddle our loved ones in this way. For instance, an employer is not going to tolerate insubordination and disrespect. How do we train our FASD kids to control their emotions before constantly becoming escalated?
The answer to that is complicated! You might want to check out Nate's book, "Essential FASD Supports", to give you a framework of how to understand and address emotional regulation in both ourselves and our kids.
Thanks. I'll check it out.
Me🙋🏼♀️ I'm 44 years old and have just leared that I have this .
The way to solve this is to use video or strory telling as a way to gain evidence of what really happened
Maybe! It depends on what you mean by "solve" and how practical recording certain moments is for a supporter. Many kids get dysregulated--even when presented with video evidence--because the interplaying issues here go very deep. It's not about helping them "fix" their perception in many cases.
I’m almost always very irritable. I’ve tried SSRIs, ketamine, getting off caffeine, and several OTC pills. Nothing really stops it long term. I found I had low T, but bring that up doesn’t seem to help irritability either. Thank god my wife brushes it off.
Where are you now ?
My 8 yr old who has never had any issues before now started telling me she doesn’t feel real and she’s irritable all day long .. it’s starting to impact every part of her life. She does seem to have anxiety.
These videos are very helpful thankyou
I watched this after seeing similarities between my mother who has had stroke and another person who I know. Both will fill in the blanks with false information when needed. They also both hate being wrong or being accused of lying.
I keep these on my playlist. I need to watch them more than I do. I’m so thankful to have this.
My MIL has dementia. This makes so much sense.
The last part on the big picture and family support, is gold.
This is really good material, thank you
Unless you are a highly paid specialist, most people haven't got the time to deal with this level of management.
There is definitely a learning curve and bigger systems issues at play. However, children deserve to learn and interact in a way that works for them, and this video is a starting place. If a professional does not ever "have time" to give a child time to think, it may very well be a bad placement match for the child and their team should seek alternatives.
@@cogsupports The word that springs to mind is cost.
My 88 year old mom has frontotemporal dementia. About a year ago she started what I would call confabulation. One or two truths would be thrown in with a long complicated story. Usually they were sad or depressing. But within months her stories became so off the wall and wild that I live in fear of loved ones coming to visit!! Recently she entertained her new doctors staff with tells of her learning to drive at the Brick Yard, setting time records that made Richard Petty tip his hat at her! She facinated the nurses with tales of the year the track was built and the company that layed the brick. She even recalled the names of the builders children who accompanied him when they weren't in school! She goes into minute detail, leaves nothing out. The next story can be about dear friends who we've known for 50 years who chained their children in closets at night, locked the kids outside all day, how it broke her heart to watch them eat worms and grass to stay alive. You never know what shes going to say. She has severely hurt several loved ones so far, what she told had zero truth to it but those loved ones have been destroyed. Not to mention how she can gut me and my family. Those loved one she hurt cant imagine what i hear as I am her full time, unpaid caregiver. I am her daughter and Ive had my heart ripped out and handed back to me many times. I love her and I know it isnt her talking but it has almost ruined my life at times. She was a wonderful and fun mother when we were kids. She also suffered a severe brain injury from a bad wreck in the 70s. So I feel its not just the dementia causing this heartbreaking symptom. All you can do is try to redirect the story or interrupt by adding light hearted funny things to make her laugh. No one knows how hard us caregivers work, especially when no one really sees us, the physical and emotional turmoil that is our life.
I totally understand. I have just diagnosed my mom with this. She went on a campaign of terror when I started putting boundaries in place; I couldn't trust her anymore. 😊
Thank you for sharing. We had an older gentleman we basically took in as family. He was here for every holiday, birthday, and event. He started making up crazy stories. He told us he was buried alive twice, he was a lobsterman, sheriff and mayor of a small town, he tried to get my son fired by saying he was a deviant, he said we stole from him and lastly...he competed against Arbold Schwarzenegger in body building although he is about 5 ft tall. Unfortunately, we cannot have him near our children anymore.
I understand my Dear. May God bless you and mother. I
I understand my Dear. May God bless you and mother. I
I love Divine inspiration! What a gift you've been blessed with, to understand people on a level that others couldn't understand before! You are so very important to others in this world! You are like an umbrella in the rain!
Nice shades..
Thank you for your service my friend. These videos are amazing ❤
I am watching this for my 46yo self
False and Fraud are not the same thing
this is me exactly..
This is good information and is helpful thank
Thank you for this content!
Well said!! I'm so glad I found this content!!
Since you mentioned impulsivity, can interrupting and answering questions before they're ended be a sign of FASD?
Hey there, I would not necessarily view this as a "sign" of FASD. Rather, it is a sign of some type of executive dysfunction or maybe anxiety or maybe communication divergence. So I would not be surprised at this being how the brain of someone with an FASD may interact, but also in many other situations including Autism and ADHD and many other situations.
Could you cover confabulation & manipulation?
Very deep 👍🏻👍🏻🎯 I want to share this
❤️🤔 thanks for sharing
Very helpful and insightful!
This was sooooooo good. Thank you
Love your podcast and videos. Thank you so much ❤
I feel so irritable like I just want everyone to go away and I am grinting my teeth and I am mean. I don't want to to be mean but I want everyone including my animals to leave me alone. I'm soon tired and just over the flu and I'm like a wounded and mad grizzly bear looking for that cave to hibernate and sleep and sleep with no noise or a single living soul near me. I'm trying to hold together but it's hard not to lash out.
Thank you so much for this video this has helped the staff at my daughters school understand and support her better!
This is so helpful and I can’t wait to try it out.
Nate - this is priceless information. We are still using your training with family, friends, and teachers. It makes sense for us of this crazy life we sometimes have so that we are compassionate with our daughter. AND to you - Jeff - I want to say THANK YOU dad for looking for help. As a mom of a 13 year old teen daughter, her dad lets me handle most of the hard battles. You are a gift to your son! Keep up the excellent parenting!
FASD is ruining my life. I need help. I love these video. I'm 40, PTSD, FASD and suicidal thoughts, and sever depression and anxiety.
I am sorry to hear that. Can you tell us which city and state/province you are in? We will do our best to find you a local resource.
@@cogsupports Northeast Wisconsin
@@starrtwilight7 Have you heard of Orchids? www.orchidsfasdservices.org/ They may be able to connect you to some resources or offer some support.
This is amazing! I think all of these would help with ASD too!!!!
It doesn’t seem you are producing content much in the past couple of years. I wonder if it’s due to Covid? I hope you are well. I came across your video bc I was searching irritability in children who have anxiety. My 9 year old son is very anxious recently (but has always suffered from anxiety to an extent) and his attitude has become a cause of worry for me. He is easily irritated and super critical of everyone. I understand the point of trying not to escalate the situation by having my own reaction but a lot of time it’s directed at his younger sister and I can’t allow her to be his figurative punching bag. Additionally I feel he is highly critical of me, if I forget something he has to comment on it and will never let me forget the one time I did (fill in the blank). As a family I feel kind held hostage by his mood swings . If we are going out to do something either as a family or errands to the store and he doesn’t want to do it he will find things to complain the entire time to the point where it puts us in a bad mood too and it’s easier to just stay home. I know it’s the anxiety but it really just feels like he’s being a jerk bc he wants his way. Even if we try to sweeten the deal by offering something for him while we are out (like getting a pack of Pokémon cards, lol) he’s super focused on that one thing and once it’s in hand it’s immediately back to “when are we leaving?“ We just found a therapist for him and will begin that next week and I’m hoping to figure out how we can help him feel better. Anyway, good short video explaining that the irritability comes with the anxiety. That is something I just recently discovered.
Question: How might schools and school staff handle students who confabulate if the false memories are in regard to behavioral incidents that may require disciplinary consequences?
Hi Timothy. This is a tough question to answer in a comment as it goes back to many fundamental problems with the systems which are in place. While every situation is different, the question we should be asking is "why are disciplinary consequences required?" Regardless of confabulation, do punishments work for the student with an FASD? Probably not. So when confabulation is a part of it, there are likely many negative consequences to punishing the person if they do not think they did anything wrong (or do not agree with what is said about them). The school system not considering things like this is a big problem, which is one of the reasons why the systems need to fundamentally change how they interpret "challenging behaviors" and their responses to it.
Sometimes they are quiet and passive and just basically ignore you and actions are passive aggressive.