Know the Truth. Live the Truth. It changes everything.
Proverbs 31 Ministries is a non-denominational, non-profit Christian ministry that seeks to lead women into a personal relationship with Christ. With Proverbs 31:10-31 as a guide, Proverbs 31 Ministries reaches women in the middle of their busy days through free devotions, speaking events, conferences, resources, online Bible studies, the First 5 app, and training in the call to write, speak and lead others. We are real women offering real-life solutions to those striving to maintain life’s balance, in spite of today’s hectic pace and cultural pull away from godly principles. Wherever a woman may be on her spiritual journey, Proverbs 31 Ministries exists to be a trusted friend who understands the challenges she faces, walks by her side, encouraging her as she walks toward the heart of God.
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Too complicated right from the beginning !!! Talk simply if you want people to stay and listen…
The 15 minute mark is very helpful in substituting a positive when obsessing.
The court system doesn't recognize abuse. Neither physical or emotional. My abused daughter didn't report her abuse and her narcissistic husband took out a bogus protective order out on her. He got her kicked out of her own home and now won't let her see her kids. We have a lawyer but he isn't working for us. He tried to get us to make a deal to agree to 50/50 custody and no child support. I said hell no. But my abused daughter almost took it. She had been thrown in jail three times already. Because she tried to see her kids and her husband tricked her. He continues to terrorize her and the cops, judges and lawyers let it happen. I live in Iowa and we need help in this state.
Can't believe I've found this talk a year or more later and had forgotten I had seen it before. I did not hear this like I did this time. So blown away how blind and deaf,in a way, we can actually be. My goodness. I feel like all this is hitting me right now like never before. It's a painful, physically painful and devastating wake up. Been waking up for years. Can believe this clarity though. I feel like I'm going to fall apart. It's so weird.
I feel like the hupervigilance comes from an overdose of abuse. Like too much has happened and it spills over the top. Or maybe it's something like we are so over it, every little tiny feeling of disrespect and provocation feels like abuse. I'm in this right now. Could there really be so many people doing damage so easily and it's us that have to toughen up. I'm finding it hard knowing what the balance line is. Spinning in my head about it atm actually.
Happened to me today. Twice. Told another of the emotional abuse I'm suffering and have suffered for years, among other types of abuse. One person said I let myself be pulled into it. I was shocked. As they were a religious leader type person. People just don't understand, unless they been through it. I'll never know what it's like to break a bone unless I do myself. I feel it's the same. Finding good proper support and understanding offline seems impossible. I'm from Melbourne Victoria in Australia.
I don't think the lady in the video has ever felt lonely. I know what it's like to be lonely. Especially as someone modest. A lonely person will find it difficult discussing how they feel on a podcast like this. If you are able to talk about it so freely like this, then you've never felt lonely. And you don't know what it feels like. And you don't have a real solution. 😢😞 😢
The Scripture instructs us to be obedient, submissive, and carrying the heart of a servant. Meanwhile, we are held responsible for predatory male behavior. Being a woman is sinful as are our sexuality. Our bodies are obscene and not regarded as an image of God.
im beng abused
If this information would have been available 30 years ago my children and I would have never gone through the constant psychological twisted abuse that we endured day after day!!! Thank you for bringing truth and L shining the light on this hidden darkness that dwells in so many marriages.
We're so glad you're here!
Anger is a 'heart' killer too. "While angry people are stirring & trying to figure out a way of revenge, the people they are angry at, are out dancing." ❤
What happens when you can’t find anyone to help? You don’t have health insurance and can’t find a good church home
I have yet to hear of what a dirty, damaged, disgraceful, insulting, objectifying, toxic, unsatisfying, frightening, Godless, narcissistic, demanding, self-serving sexual "relationship" is like with a porn addict spouse. Are the kids truly loved if mom isn't? 😢
valor noun val·or ˈva-lər Synonyms of valor : strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness : personal bravery The bravery and understanding to be the helper God created her to be. To be a Godly wife, and Godly mother is way more than this warrior that seems to be introduced here. To fear the lord instead of the world is Valor.
I think it is important to note that God separated Joseph from his toxic brothers and brought him to another land. Yes it was slavery etc, but it gave Joseph a chance to bloom away from his toxic family… he was safer away from his brothers than living near them. Physical space apart from them allowed him to live his own life, and grow.. and it is easier to forgive when you’re not still living inside the abusive environment. Forgiveness is important to Christian , yes, but never confuse forgiveness with being forced to remain in a toxic situation and suffering in abuse while the abuser or enablers use “forgiveness” to trap you and not allow you to break away to heal and breathe ❤
Amen❤
Excellent perspective. You've brought up many important details.
When we are so used to being abused, we actually sort of get stunted in our growth… constantly being gaslighted and second guessing ourselves and slowly erode away our identity, confidence and nature. My mom gave in so much in an emotionally abusive marriage that by the time she developed cancer, she had forgotten how to fight aggressively anymore. She lost the fighting stamina u need when fighting cancer and gave in helplessly to the demonic cancer waiting for change and hoping for better results each time since she had been used to giving in and tolerating all sort of injustice for decades. In the end of course she died miserably and painfully , crying and wondering how come all her efforts didn’t work. It is because you need to be fierce as a lion to fight and overcome cancer. You can’t be a gentle sheep to win cancer. I wish Christians would be more aware of this.
There should be a better balance on teachings in the church between forgiveness and knowing our authority in Christ and standing up for ourselves. If we are continuously slapped with the forgiveness mantra, we will be giving in to all sort of injustice and abuse to the point that we have no more authority and don’t know how to use our authority to fight against the devil when he attacks us with disease etc
I really really hope that in the years to come, there will be greater growth and shift in this area in the body of Christ. Too many Christians are suffering under emotional abuse or covert abuse, and finding no help in the church either… not supported the right way cos their pain is invalidated and brushed aside. This is what my mom went through. I know many other women are out there oppressed and confused too. It is so lonely for them. Let’s not add to their struggle by only advocating one side of the coin. Please and thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
That interviewing your anger is golden. The questions that we’re given and even what to add to the soil once we find something …was amazing. Thank you for this. ❤️❤️
There are things that are so severe to forgive, as abuse still continues
Amen🙏 Thank you so much for sharing!!
Reading this story now. It is absolutely powerful and a testament to what redemptive forgiveness can do for someone who has been betrayed.
🎉❤amen in the name of Jesus Christ amen🤗💞🌸💚🌺💝🌻🙏👼💯
❤🙏
SUBTITLES PLEASE
2 Timothy 3 3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.
Oh, thank you for the explanation about Pharaoh- first part Pharaoh hardened his own heart. Your start out- to better fullness understanding that divorce is a wide lens of people idolatry (also abuser-narcissists) that God hates- James 4:4 you (adulterers & adultereresses) love of the world is enmity with God.
I'm glad you said that about quoting scripture my ex had a lot of verses memorized and he seemed to see the right ones to let me know how I was wrong in so many ways
So after 25 years of abusive marriage him not willing to talk to anyone get better, she files for divorce, is she the one hated by God??
The woman’s voice was music to my ears. The men’s… not so sure
My church attacked me. I was expected to stay with an unrepentant adulterer. He told me he was never going to stop. They were Calvinist, but they hid behind the non denominational name. The church further piled on the emotional and spiritual abuse.
I really needed to hear this today. I can't wait to read the book as it really aligns with where I am in life today.
"Attachment style is not who we are, it's what got wired into us." "Our words frame our reality." Really significant concepts!
I’m the one who’s trying to prove that I’m right because I was abused, not them!
I was married to a narcissistic for 37 years. It was death by a thousand cuts. He desperately needed therapy and healing from his own trauma and abuse growing up. He took it out on me instead. God delivered me and im getting healing for myself.
I am grateful for this conversation bc I live with a what I deem as a naracistic father and this dynamic of wanting and needing the constant attention of assurance reminds me of what an idol is. The worship that is needed to appease this type of person is exhausting - it is draining and it is sad when the family dynamic or foundation is built on strong narcissistic traits - growing up in this type of environment is detrimental for children - this type of wound is traumatic and complex for a child to deal with without help, which most children don't get until therapy as adults - this is where I am and I am struggling to have any type of compassion or empathy for my father bc this is not the only abuse that I have suffered at his hand - please pray that God will free me to love my father as God loves him
Egomaniac, Egotistical Grandiose attitude is ALL ABOUT REPUTATION, REPUTATION, REPUTATIONS,
Disrespectful ABUSE IS A WEAPON to inflict discomfort & disease & MIND ALTERING SILIENCING of girls whom are SWEET, GOOD, KINDLY, People pleasing every body excessively. She is forced to Self-sacrificeing her. Identity, & decent UPRIGHT MINDED reputation. She needs to be equally important RESPECTED ALAWAYS, STEADFASTLY. DIGNITY IS ESSENTIAL. HEALTHING NEED daily. We need to be dignified, & HONORED ALWAYS. BE A PARTNER. NOT HARMED. 😢 💔💔💔💔💔💔😢
Intended behavior. Abusive WORDS & ACTIONS. DECEPTION. ABUSE : IS DISRESPECTED human beings the HEART ♥ & Kidneys profoundly to destroy😮😢
There are a lot of pastors out there who are theologically inept. There is so much abuse inside the Church. And I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m hearing more and more lately about this silencing of women in the Church. It’s being taught from the pulpit and it’s becoming abusive. Women cannot be in the pulpit, on the prayer team, or teach. We are being told our place is only in the home or with the children and other women. As a result women are suffering. There are ALL MEN on the prayer team at church, and there is no way I can go to any man and tell him what’s going on as a woman with female issues. This is giving way to making women very vulnerable. It’s crazy. And women who are called to teach, speak, write, etc. We can’t. We’re being told that’s not biblical. It’s insane. This “doctrine” is out of control and it’s hurting the Body of Christ and it’s shaming women and silencing them. I don’t believe it’s from God or the Holy Spirit at all.
I went through this for years and because of it, I still to this day wrestle with the thoughts that my voice and testimony don't matter. That who would listen or even believe me, because I have been so use to others claiming my story is false and the others story is truth, when in reality it's the opposite. So, I am at the point of like what is the point. I am tired and and exhausted.
Outstanding message. We have to go back to the origin of everything GOD and the garden of Eden.
I have severe anxiety my marriage is hanging my a thread. I'm experiencing everything in this video. Been spending time with the Lord. Jesus please step in and help me! Protect my children.
Just a thought, women who grew up in emotionally abusive homes or where there was no nurturing often will end up in relationship/s with individuals who treated them they way they were raised. Sadly, in Christianity, women have been subjugated based on incorrect interpretations of scriptures. Combined with an unhealthy childhood, it's a disaster for healthy emotional well being. No woman needs to be subjected to abuse be it emotional, physical, or sexual. An abuser has a choice and there is nothing that can change their behaviors unless they want to change. I do not believe that the God of the Bible approves of abusive relationships.
As a single Christian woman, I am learning a lot from this video about what I don't want from my next relationship. I'm a childhood trauma survivor, and I refuse to settle for a man who is a narcissist!
I tried all of these things and was afraid of speaking up. After 15 years I filed for divorce which initiated a smear campaign, lying to the court system, lying to pastors ( who STILL believed him), lying with a lovely face… and it really did backfire on me in every way. In EVERY way.😢
My mother was verbally and emotionally abused by a man who wasn't Christian. But also, women can be emotionally abusive as well.
OK, so what do we do about it? If you’ve put up with it for so many years, I guess it just becomes normal.
Amen Kingdom perspective so beautifully said 🙏
Wow Lysa I love your response to remaining humility, it resonate with me❤
Totally can’t tell abusers that it’s “emotional abuse” - they abuse the term and play the victim of emotional abuse for calling it emotional abuse - results in gaslighting, smokes and mirrors and a more confusing amplified version of emotional abuse!! That definitely silences and creates serious self doubt, low esteem, shame and disempowerment. There are no ways to “phrase it right” and … excuses are survival!
I’m so blessed to listen to your podcast. Wise counselors !!