Decoding Narcissism - Frederik Ribersson
Decoding Narcissism - Frederik Ribersson
Learn to identify and avoid manipulation, negotiate with narcissists, get your life back on track faster, heal after toxic relationships and avoid getting abused again in the future.
www.linktr.ee/fribersson
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***Workshop on Healing After Narcissists available here: healingafternarcissists.ribersson.com/ ***
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Why would I not judge someone for blatantly lying lol..I mean I wouldn't judge myself for noticing if that's what you meant.
I am finding this stuff out at 50 years old and so worn out from it, realizing all my life, things I missed. I'm not sure if it was best to stay with somebody that would have physically beat the s*** out of me, or trust manipulating mental psychological gas lighting control freaks, I think I'd rather have the hell beat out of me
He told me with a smirk how he slammed the door in his ex’s face. He had horrendous road rage but every other driver was the one at fault so deserved his gestures. Whenever he fell out with someone from his work, he would give them the silent treatment and would gloat at their confusion or distress about it. He didn’t know this but one of his colleagues contacted me early on to let me know if I ever felt confused or that I was being abused I wasn’t imagining it - she said people from his work played a role with him because it was widely known you didn’t want to get on his bad side. The whole time he considered this woman one of his best friends. I was so relieved she had taken his mask off for me.
I see what you're saying, I think. Dark triad, race gender ... Early 20s allowed diagnosis? And then there's early 40s and beyond? I disagree, revenge doesn't equate to narcissism.
It took me forever to refind this.
24 years with my covert narc husband we have been on repeat for 2 years arguing 2 weeks then 2 weeks love. He thinks sex fixes everything I told him it doesn’t for me. I cried for 4 hours night before last while he slept. I grief a lot of pain out. I’m stuck in what to do I guess cause I have been with him so long it’s hard. 2 kids together. I am Empath I feel deeply he doesn’t understand that. I am to sensitive. I have been told. Thanks for sharing and caring
Hang on .. they know you’re not one hundred percent responsible? The amount of times my ex told me all our problems were my fault and I believed he believed it to be true 😮
My ex did this for five years, it was like he had a conveyer belt of new female friends coming into his life. I realised several years in he wanted me to be jealous. In the end (after he amped it up and I refused to react) I just outright told him I didn’t want to be with someone who wanted to have so many emotional connections with other women. I’m not sure if it bothered him or not, he seemed indifferent and told me I sabotaged us and need to work on my jealousy … but I don’t care, I was more than ok with feeling jealous over such extreme lack of boundaries so now I feel back to normal again and like myself so much more. I’ll never enter this dynamic again.
Hi there, interesting metaphor.. are you promoting communism,socialism liberalism? is this left or right wing hot water? Narcissism can be seen as a double sided sword. Are you supporting Seizing the means of production? Could you elaborate and give viewers a clearer way to understand and go about this? and a guide on how to sustain this revolution without being oppressive to another group that could also be narcissistic 💜
I’m struggling with accepting my cognitive dissonance around this fact that I have to live in a world where there are people roaming freely that are totally void of empathy and compassion. I can see now that I have given so many passes that werent deserved out so that I could retain my fairy tale that ppl couldn’t be as bad as they are because its just not possible for anyone to be so cruel. I’m coming to some clarity about things and the fog is settling somewhere around that a lot of my pain is really from being broken hearted by humanity. .. not just my asshole narcissistic husband.
Spot on
I am miserably lost my youth, peak energy to my own elder brother whom i always dragged myself so i will not let him dragged me, the bullshit narcissist to me ruin my being
So this is a really good detailed and exploded view of 'future faking'. Thanks so much for your very valuable insight! Their manipulations implode just with logic. If what they believed where true, we'd be responsible for the very air that they breathe which is obviously not true. They are simply put, lazy people who basically leech off other people. If they can't leech off you they just leech off someone else.
The more he says "this actually makes sense" I worry that he's the narcissist! lol But I think he's just being objective.
How to question it when they are yr co workers and flying monkeys involved thank u
Narc has tantrum i call it out Her response: im human blah blah blah
wait... I'm having the one having the tantrums. I want to stop having them......I came here for help.. lol
I might suggest that searching online is not a substitute for working with a therapist :) But very cool you’re wanting to work on yourself, fingers crossed for you!
@@fribersson lolol. He's like, "youre gunna need more help than searching for tips online" smh
Perfect, love it!
@@fribersson i wasn’t complimenting you. ..I think ANYONE could benefit from tips online. Never mind
People say I sound angry when I talk about the narc. I feel impassioned but not angry. I might say with passion “he tried to Hoover me but I’m never fking going to live like that again.” I think that’s an impassioned boundary, with f word for emphasis. Why do people think I sound angry? Would they like someone to have trashed years of their life, then just later placidly refer to that person? I feel there’s a middle ground. Not eaten by anger. But empowered by certainty and awareness
Having toxic parents led to having a toxic partner..no matter how I tried to avoid it..I was trapped with a child..I broke with him for the sake of my kid, but his brainwashing caused huge anxiety for me and I wound up with toxic social workers tryna remove my precious kid..I had to be nice to my ex so that the social workers would go away..toxicity continued..I suffered..my kid suffered..my ex thrived and didn't have to change..now my kid is an adult, I'm tryna get my career back whilst being menopausal..some ppl.are truly evil
You know that deep down inside the narcissistic behavior is just bottling up until it explodes, and something very dramatic happens that many are hurt and talk about the aftermath months later.
I would love to see a video about how to deal with someone guilt tripping you, your approach is always so insightful!
100% facts
this is definetly the reality of the abuse performed by a narcissist. So well done, so eye opening and I hope that more and more people suffering from it choose to turn them down and retake control over their lifes. Thank you so much, your videos are amazing and you definetly deserve more success in KZread! please keep up the good work, it's really worth watching!!
Toddlers throw tantrums and demand things they feel entitled to. Narc "Dad" has been emotionally manipulative a lot lately.
I used this strategy. He would just go silent and change the topic. I needed to experience that at least a dozen times before I got the message(😅): If he wasn't in control, there was no discussion
Absolutely brilliant advice. Far better than most channels: simply ignore the flying monkeys. A lot of these people are innocent players in the narc's game. Thank you!
Thank so you much for your kind words and comments! Very happy you're finding this helpful :)
@fribersson sorry I used the word, advice ;)
Haha. Im glad you mentioned the punishment at the end. Say youre ok with something, then bring it up repeatedly forever after as if you sacrificed 😂
This made me cry. I made my final decision when I could no longer lie to myself about the immense stress I felt in his presence and that I was working so hard, and he was only becoming more challenging... I think he was in the late devaluation/early discard stage. Nonetheless, my health depended on my leaving. 1 week later, no more diarrhoea, 2 weeks later, I quit smoking that I took up to deal with the challenge of the relationship, 4 weeks later, the self-gaslighting stopped, 6 weeks later, I am so damn proud of myself, and I am reconnecting with my family who never stopped loving me more than life itself. I distanced myslef from them, because I knew they could see through me. They know when Im not happy. How lucky I am to have such a wonderful support network ❤
Wow. Most wonderful videos Ive found. I feel such relief hearing someone articulate this so succinctly 🙏
Yes, my body knew RIGHT from the START! Omg. Pay attention
Absolutely excellent video. I knew from the start that he wasnt right for me but I ignored my inner voice. He was showering me with attention and gifts. I felt guilty, and assumed it was me. I kept googling things... for 2 YEARS! I now know, I can trust my gut. I hid it as best I could, but the feelings built up and I would lash out. Then he convinced me I was crazy and I went to the psych.. oh dear. At least Ive now learned.. ❤
I think I can apply this to my narcissistic brother. Im sure the tax man would like to see him.
This is so good..this is exactly how my daughter acts when i tell her about her narc husband and family.
🩷☝️
*If being NICE is natural and habitual, it's genuine nice because one is cheerful and natural in it.* If someone is not nice in response to that, it's pretty simple... that's *2 Corinthians 6:17-18* You need to "Come out from among them." Freedom from all that Narc Guff -- is the non toxic road back to Normal and Nicer.
Your innocence is gone trust is impossible and I just want to be alone ……sleep and peace is the only way to heal!
Thanks for breaking it down @fribersson 🏆
Excellent! I really liked the “emotional immune system” part at the end. Emotional thinking gets blamed for allowing a toxic person in. But this was helpful to think of someone else using different personas to break through our emotional immune systems to manipulate. Very graceful explanations and concepts in your videos thank you.
Thank you Jess, happy you found that helpful! We don't get angry at ourselves for catching a virus. This is not so different. Apart from we can learn and reduce the risk in the future.
This is important to learn. I remember how easy it was to get pulled onto the triangle in a split second through things like guilt or a condescending tone with dysfunctional family members. Then I'd find myself taking a spin around the triangle as the roles suddenly changed. I learned to jump off the triangle, or better yet, don't get pulled onto it in the first place and stay in the adult state of mind.
Yikes‼️ This is complicated 🕊
It's simpler than you are open to hearing it. Try listening to it a few times. It sinks in the more you understand the English it is thought in.
good things and bad things... 🙂 - well, I also made mistakes in life - oh really? like what? - whatever mistake you think I've made
Oh Jeez, a classic line.
Extremely helpful. Thank you for this information and I definitely will turn my thinking around more. You explain this very well and I’m grateful. 😀
Karpman Triangle
Exactly. Crap, forgot to mention Karpman. Will amend the title. Thanks!
@@fribersson It's not that I was correcting you or anything like that... but ok🙂
No worries, didn’t take it as such. I think it’s helpful to mention where the models come from so people can look them up and realise I’m not pulling nonsense out of my backside, or taking credit for someone else’s work. I hate when people present something as though it’s theirs. There really is no need. It’s valuable enough to run people through models, we don’t have to invent everything :)
I just want say thank you 🙏 when I was going through a narcissistic relationship. I was watching your video every day and it makes me stronger. Thank you 🙏
Oh my, that is so kind! I'm so pleased it was helpful, those situations are hell! Hope all is well now :)
Triangulation is basically another form of gaslighting, especially when the other person doesn't exist.
So true! And they do sometimes invent people...
my unaware anorexic, highly traumatized, EX! female narc "friend" was, probably still is, looking for a Nigerian man with a sixpack. Those were her non negotiables. Oh, and she demanded to be called Queen. One day she "fell in love" with a scammer from Africa. She loved that they call each other "Motherfuckers" . After months of trying to make this scammer love her, forgetting about her kids and having multiple breakdowns daily, which I was trying to manage, I started to speak my truth and try to explain to her, with all the love I had, that she can not change nobody but herself and no, not all man are trash/that she needs to take on accountability etc...As an audhd person, I was unconsciously loving all the dopamine from her craziness, however one day she totally lost it and accused me of being a pupped master behind her sexual partners who she believes all know each other and were using her, of course...she even agreed to having paranoid thoughts but later on used it against me for her flying monkeys.... I am non judgmental, very open, don't feel danger, I look for remedies and I want to help ...these people are totally lost and don't want to be found...the believe in their Mask..... Autistic people fuck Narcs up because we don't care about winning, but we win by default ....she blocked me, as soon as she realized I wasn't trustworthy anymore, since I speak truth ...she could not hide, so she had to project and make me the villain aka the Autism ....
I luv these videos very informative info