The Personal Development School
The Personal Development School
Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and on this channel I teach you how to transform your life.
You probably know the key to success is self-development. But how do you actually do it? How do you make the changes you want in your life?
That's where I come in. I created The Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives you the opportunity to create true and long-lasting change in your life. Our courses, with a 99.7% success rate, are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life.
Our KZread videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
So what are you waiting for? This could be the start of your personal development journey.
Subscribe to our channel and start watching!
Пікірлер
I just hope that you overcome your high school girl voice and grow up for once. Do you think it's cool? Why do you croak like a frog in between every few seconds?
What is my DA almost ex partner is detaching by working on their project buuuuut...she just opened herself to another guy and started to give him a way in while us still living together..? I'm broken.. Trying to understand why she wouldn't commit to our relationship and instead is seeking attention from another person..
Hi Thais, thank you for all of your great work! I am a securely attached person who grew up with parents who placed independence above all else - we were globally mobile and the ‘closest loves’ were always far away. As a result I relate more to an empathetic avoidant attachment style in love relationships, despite having very secure primary family and friendships. Do you have any videos on this topic? Thank you in advance.
Do you have a step by step on to giving examples of WHAT WAYS an avoidant that did the microcheating can show up for anxious receiving the the microcheating. Please and thank you
I need this video for a fearful avoidant and for anxious, please.
I’d love to know your analysis of a DA and a FA in a relationship? Asking for a friend 😮💨
Coming up with 10 reasons to trust seems impossible and almost feels like I would be delusional if I tried to squeeze some maybe reasons. And my subconscious does not like uncertainty at all. I think this is where I get stuck. I then over focus on a partner to show and prove it to me. I intellectually realize I can trust myself but my subconscious needs the proof or it will jump in like a warrior trying to protect me which then causes the partner to act untrustworthy because I’m acting untrustworthy. Which then of course…. The cyclical trap. Im going to implement this advice in this video in hopes I can navigate effectively as if I have bumpers in bowling lol!
The first C’s of trust is a new concept I heard here, such good points. Thanks for sharing Thais! One question; is it useful to keep checking for these when people become secure, or does the need for it become less?
Yes BUT…fearful avoidants don’t provide the trustworthy behavior they themselves demand in a relationship. Disappearing, withdrawing and giving the silent treatment break down trust and sink relationships. Step one of the process must be for the fearful avoidant to BECOME a trustworthy person. You can’t constantly flake out and expect others to be exemplary in their behavior. Sure, vet others, but it won’t work unless you vet your own behavior first.
Agree 💯%‼️‼️‼️‼️
As a healing fearful avoidant, that was definitely something that crossed my mind while watching. Accepting you aren’t perfect or always the victim is such a humbling experience, but so necessary for self growth. Self awareness is key (Edit: you can be constructively critical of yourself AND have compassion for your experiences, neither should live without the other)
This is packed with so much valuable info I’ve watched it 4 times and I’m still picking up new vital lightbulb moments! Definitely saving this one! Thank you Thais 🕊️
You're doing amazing work and I appreciate you so much
If I say that stuff at the end she will just say ‘nah’ 😂
I needed this video!! Thank you❤❤❤
I'm struggling with trusting myself when faced with people who are "in the wrong", but lash out and criticize me - which I then absorb as criticism. An example is taking dancing lessons with my partner. We're both learning the moves, and both of us are struggling, but my partner scolds ME for my incompetence. At the time, i just accepted that I was "wrong" and felt shame, and defensive at the time but later felt angry and resentful at my partner for criticizing me (when they're no better themselves), and resentful towards myself for abosrbing that criticism, and feeling shamed in the moment, for essentially no good reason. So apart from finding it hard to trust trustworthy people, I have to work on trusting myself more and not trusting that others are always right in their motive and judgements.
Yeah but a dismissive avoidant does not show up and out the work in 😅
Not trusting will eventually cause relationships to fail. Start by doing the inner work then use the 4 C’s to vet people correctly 💯
And then they get upset when you finally leave and get with someone new 🤣
I'm looking for the link you talked about for the chance to take the "Repairing self-trust course" for free. I don't see it in the description.
This is so helpful and informative! Actual steps to overcome living with no trust of others or myself. I didn't realize auto suggestion would help with this. Thank you!
Thank you so much! I’m learning a lot from watching your videos. I used to think I was an anxious attachment style but since finding your channel I realized I am definitely a fearful avoidant. Withdrawing/detaching is something I can completely identify with. I’m getting better at communicating my triggers and his response has been reassuring.
This was very much needed
Thank You for these. Your channel's content has been very helpful at this time in my life
Thank you Thais. Can you make a video on how to deal with narcissists in the workplace?
I need to ask a question: How can you ask someone to learn to trust you if everyone previous girlfriend they've had has hurt them, and when you genuinely trying to communicate with them... all they see it as is you are trying to manipulate or play with them? Seriously... how do you help them see your true genuine intentions?. .
Can we talk about the feeling of I don't wanna start again? Because before the choices were so poor and you find someone who's great, yet not your person for different reasons. How do i deal with the, I don't wanna face dating and starting from 0 again?
@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool : If we attend the same church should I not attend in-person during this No Contact phase?
Thanks.
So if he said to me "You forgot me" during no contact (because he pulled away), was it actually a test or he was the one that actually forgot me?
This is gold, Thais. Genuinely can’t wait for more people to discover your content.
They literally give you breadcrumbs?! But I'm gluten sensitive 🥺 I'd listen to the rest, but you just seem like another armchair psychologist regurgitating the expertise of someone more qualified. So where's your credentials, if I'm supposed to listen to you?
I believe my DA ex liked me, she even she loved me. We had great chemistry and connection, however we were incompatible and that was because of her inconsistency along with her "self sabotage" which she admitted that she would do. She knew she had faults she needed to work on but didn't and so I finally realized that because of this, ultimately we wouldn't work
Nonsense!
What if the anxious preoccupied cheats and break up ?
Man stalked me for at least 2 years before I connected the dots. We had only one real conversation, which was terrifying. He told me that I was a narcissist and that he was going to go No Contact with me but wanted me to follow his Instagram page. Of course, at first I didn’t follow his IG, but then about 6 months later, he resurfaced, threatening me at my work. So I started to follow his IG that day, figured I needed him to lose interest in me. So I DMd him constantly for apx 3 years; making my DMs sound crazier and crazier. Finally, thankful, he lost interest. To this day I assume he thinks I’m crazy and a narcissist, and if that keeps me and my children safe, then that’s okay.
One of the best sharing very helpful to everyone on ldr
i heard a lot of times in these videos that when the relationship was shortterm, its not likely they come back. my experience tells me different. its rather if you could build a deep emotional bond, and timeframe is not important for that. you can build a deep and intense connection in a very short time. so for everybody who was in a short term relationship, dont give up hope.
This comment is an aside. I don’t normally get into psychology. And from my experience, an outright narcissist is rare (probably less than 3%). Most people (the vast majority) are just not good matches, personality-wise. Women need to quit calling men narcissists when they’re just masculine men. Most women have never been with real men … the vast majority have only been with feminine beta males. And when they meet a man with any degree of an ego they’ll automatically label him as a narcissist. Many women are often addicted to sociopaths (it’s a sickness), especially if they have money (and or fame) and it goes both ways. That’s why they’ll date the few men online they consider worthy, regardless of their personality or character (while all the rest are completely invisible). Women are not victims and they’re not angels-they’re the people who picked those guys-very poor choices. They need to take responsibility for their actions. But it’s all about personality and until a man knows himself he’ll settle for less. The saddest thing is when a man never finds a woman who is crazy about him. He might have to wait half his life or longer before he fully realizes there are women out there that he truly likes and who give him the respect and attention he deserves (gorgeous classy women who want him worse, in my case). Most “stupid” men date women they wouldn’t have anything whatsoever to do with (outside of the act, and they fall in love). They don't know any better and it happens to all men. Unfortunately, women don’t fully realize a man’s biology is directly tied to his heart (unless he’s a sociopath, who can't love and those men are rare), regardless if he has true feelings for her or not (an intoxicated lie). That’s why a man should (in my opinion), never have relations with any woman until he knows beyond any shadow of a doubt that she wants him worse and he wants her as well. A man needs to be his own man and not chase women (the worst sin). And unlike what the idiots want you to believe (sell you), it’s instantaneous and rare. This kind of knowledge can only be found by a deep understanding of personality dynamics (The Enneagram, Astrology, Myers-Briggs, etc..). And it takes a mature male to even be aware. No amount of direct conscious action alone is ever going to make an appreciable positive change (the slow "miracles" we need) and everything proceeds from within, through the subconscious mind (where the father, son, and holy spirit reside, metaphorically speaking). This is why Jesus said the Kingdom of God is within. The religious nitwits (no offense) will conflate it with their dogmatic beliefs and it goes far deeper (esoteric).
I'm married to an avoidant woman. If you meet an avoidant, just run. Fucking run. They are too broken and too messed up to make the relationship what it needs to be. You will be abandoned and made to feel like you're crazy for feeling abandoned. You will never get any reciprocity. And any attempt to voice your needs or be understood will be met with them retreating and sandbagging you. They gaslight you into actually thinking you're "needy" and "clingy" just because you want anything other than silence, no contact, and space. Your interests and desires will never align, and every single aspect of the relationship will go against your intuition and instincts. Every day will be opposite day, and you will constantly be 2nd guessing yourself. You will never out-love their trauma. Nothing will ever feel natural. You will never get what you want or need. There is no point to being with an avoidant. Because the bottom line is this - they're just not into you. They might need you, but they'll never want you. Whereas you might want them, but you'll never need them. Take it from me. Run far away.
not sure how it can be classified as an attachment style when the basis of it revolves around actively pushing the attachment away....
I love that your coverage of a DA has helped me develop a deeper understanding of the woman I love unconditionally. It has helped me heal my own anxious attachment style! I have learned to enjoy my own time feeling comfortable with the space she needs. Thank you 🙏
My ex husband ised to do this. He wouldnt talk for days or weeks, then would wake up and be totally presrnt and wonderful for a day to a day and a half. Then it was gone for days or weeks again. It was heartbreaking.
He must be dismissive avoidant
I've experienced this too and it points to a personality disorder like Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Might want to read up on it.
12 years of my DA pushing me away but never really letting me walk away. He always just gave me enough. I told him it's time for me to move on and he had no words. Total shock.
I remember an ex of mine who was VERY controlling. She was AP, and constantly tried to make sure I was with her 24/7. She even used to cause conflict among my friends and would have outbursts of yelling and crying when she didn't get her way. She even tried to get me to quit my hobbies and interests so I'd be more available to her. After I broke it off, she started trying to damage my reputation saying that I neglected her and never spent any time with her. 🙄 Luckily I'm rather well known in my town and no one believed her. 😅
How can you manage the Power Stage with a DA partner..?
Well, it's really sad when they feel pressure just to keep their own word. When you've agreed upon the rules together thinking you've reached a healthy compromise, I don't feel sorry for these types when they constantly are trying to change the rules to meet their Ever-Changing moods and circumstances. I think it takes it a step too far when they completely disregard the needs of others because they have this inflated sense of self-importance And everyone must recognize their needs come first. I don't feel like that's a lack of understanding on my part but for the healthy person on the receiving end, it definitely becomes a lack of tolerance When they resort to sabotaging the connection and devaluing the other person so they can justify disappearing again and again
The first point seems a bit like something many people would experience when they realize they've lost someone dear to them suddenly (an extreme emotional response)
DA equals a weak mind. They cannot be faithful in a relationship. They WILL cheat, whether emotionally, physically, etc. This is the DA's character, their personality. They won't change and it can be absolutely devastating if you're not aware of these things.
That's not at all true. You don't know every DA. I've met AP and FA cheaters. They obviously don't ALL cheat.
No, they are not literally giving you crumbs. They are metaphorically giving you crumbs. I am still not clear on what the actual crumbs are. Responses to texts? Invites? Expressions of caring? All of the above?
When I try to validate emotions or give love to my DA, he laughs at me. This is a mentally exhausting GAME.
My FA ghosted me and blocked me on text over something super minor. How am I supposed to express longing if they ghosted me?