Have you used any of these healthy and securely attached ways to deal with a break up? Let me know what your experience was like! ❤

@sifublack192

25 күн бұрын

I always view my relationships as new learning experiences. I know when going through a breakup to focus on my hobbies and interests whilst spending more time with family and friends. I also know that most people who come into your life are just passing through so this keeps my expectations in check, knowing that if a relationship doesn't work out there is someone out there better for me.

I have not been broken up with. But I've lost people I care about. Radical acceptance is key. If you're going to be furiously angry, even that's okay. All the feelings are okay. Just choose the actions mindfully and wisely. Mindfulness and meditation are your best friend.

@riverbilly64

25 күн бұрын

I so agree with you about mindfulness and meditation. ❤

This is so important. I often see individuals who are so focused on getting their "avoidant" ex back (guilty myself of this), when we rarely stop to ask ourselves why we even want them back in the first place. It feels like a delusional (I mean this with all the kindness possible) place to operate from. Do you even like them as a person? And if you do, do you value your own needs enough to recognize that it will not work if you aren't experiencing your ideal level of love and relationships? I love when you talk about these things Thais as they illuminate how very little recovering from a break up has to do with getting the person back, but finding yourself in that process. The more we grieve the less connected to ourselves we were during that time.

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

25 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for your insightful comment and kind words! I really appreciate it! 🤗

@riverbilly64

25 күн бұрын

This is great feedback.

I love this series on how to practice attachment! I see so much content on HOW insecure attachment styles play out in relationships, but almost nothing on how to fix it. Thank you!

I don't ever have to worry about my dog breaking up with me. Woof !

@SunshineAndSnowflakes

25 күн бұрын

I wish we could share pictures on these threads. I'm dying to see this dog! 😂❤

@clararob9869

25 күн бұрын

the heartache from my 1st dog passing away was worse than my first love 😢 my dog never let me down

@gregorystinette8271

25 күн бұрын

@@SunshineAndSnowflakes/ you wouldn't be disappointed. WOOF !

@koala01111986

11 күн бұрын

My 5 dogs confirm this!

Finally, secure attachment videos. Thank you! Because that’s what I’m working to maintain.

Super helpful! Would love another video in this style addressing how a secure individual reacts internally and would respond externally to REJECTION

@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool

23 күн бұрын

Thank you for your suggestion. Will definitely forward this to Thais :)

This was a great breakdown!

Just to kind of segway off of another comment, curious about your view on SA's that aren't always nice people. I dated a SA years ago and on paper this guy was legit. We actually had a lot of fun together. I did find that he could be arrogant at times though. It wasn't a deal breaker, but he definitely could have a bit of a jerk attitude. Almost a too confident type of air. Very hard to describe. Maybe a blunt sort of arrogance? Anyway, do you think that a SA shouldn't take responsibility if their mannerisms could make others not want to be around them or pushes a partner away? It would be cool if you did a video explaining how different attachment styles have different personalities! Everyone including AP, FA, DA and SA are all kind of pigeonholed and have a stigma like AP's are needy, FA's have BPD, DA's lack empathy and then SA's are the goal yet there are different personalities around each and every individual so we're actually not all the same at all.

@Littleowl85352

25 күн бұрын

Anyone who takes that pigeonholing seriously is just going to cause themselves trouble. This is where critical thinking skills are paramount.

Always great content! Easy to understand and integrate the content. Does Thais remind anyone else of Alexander Dreymon?

I had a dream last night that Thais cut her hair. 😅

@UnicornsAreReal1

25 күн бұрын

How'd it look? Lol ❤

@JohnViguerie

25 күн бұрын

I think it looks better long

really good channel :)

I am 70% secure and 30% FA. My FA percentage has to do with my independence. I like space, too. Once a week suits me fine. I have my own life, family, friends, activities, etc. My severely FA ex and I spent four years in mostly good relationship/situationship. After expressing deep feelings, he did the slow fade and eventually monkey branched. He wanted to be friends. Nope. I let him go without a tear. No questions, no complaints. I wished him well and let him go. NC forever for me. I do not want him back. It would never work as he is unwilling to get help.

@Flufero23

25 күн бұрын

In addition, I sensed the breakup coming months before and started processing. I have spent time healing , and am becoming the best version of myself. My heart was broken, but I knew I would be okay.

@sj3969

23 күн бұрын

This sounds healthy to me, but then again I’m a DA. There’s nothing wrong with independence and liking your own space sometimes. It’s like with this attachment style stuff individual differences are thrown out the window. Do we all like the same foods? Colors? Clothing styles? No, so why do we all need to like the same levels of engagement or be labeled as bad in some way? No one is forever. The one truth of the universe, or one of them at least lol, is that all this that begin must end too. They can end in various ways, but they will. I think you’re quite healthy to recognize that.

How do you meet your own need for affection? I miss the hugs

@Littleowl85352

24 күн бұрын

Restorative yoga

Hi Thais. I swear I was completely Secure Attachment before I met my ex wife. I really handled breakups well as I was the 1 doing the breaking up when I didn’t feel happy in the relationship. I have no idea 🤷‍♂️ why with my ex wife I totally became anxious. I didn’t feel sad I was in panic mode for months. What happened that made me become anxious attached with my wife of 15 years 18 overall when the 3 longterm relationships I was in before her I was Secure? Can you make a video of why a Secure Attachment can become an Anxious Attachment

@seasaltisland

19 күн бұрын

You can slide between any of the attatchment styles. And when you're married for that long you assume your future is set, so breaking up freaks your brain out. You're no longer safe in your imagined future.

@markcafebrown2883

6 сағат бұрын

Excellent explanation

I would generally agree with this, but I think you also need to take into account that a SA having been in a relationship with any form of insecure person, can mean there are some nuances with this. They can become anxious because of the behaviour, cruelty, and often toxic behaviour of the avoidant person. It can take time to claim your own space back. Often SA have no understanding of these behaviours because they haven’t experienced them before, so it can knock them off kilter, create confusion and they can imitate some of those same shitty, damaging behaviours. I would also add that a SA will look at the relationship, to look at their own behaviours and see where they have some growth to do and they will then actually go and do the work to become more secure, more authentic, more… them.

@trippy6183

22 күн бұрын

Yes!

I am a secure one and I just had a breakup. I confirm the information Thais shares with us here. This is exactly how I reacted. I thought everyone does the same because it’s common for me 😅.

Pardon me, but I can only chuckle as you say all of the things so many of your followers bark at me about on the DA videos when I say roughly the same thing. 😆 It's unfortunate they don't typically comment on these videos (which I find interesting) because I'd love to hear all the 'splaining. 😂

@SunshineAndSnowflakes

25 күн бұрын

It's because you're a big bad DA. LOL 🤣❤

@sifublack192

25 күн бұрын

@@SunshineAndSnowflakes that must be it! 🤣🤣🤣

@SunshineAndSnowflakes

25 күн бұрын

​@@sifublack192😂😂😂

@sj3969

24 күн бұрын

That’s why they don’t comment. They don’t want to hear truth, they want to be rocked to sleep in their perceived perfection

@sifublack192

24 күн бұрын

@@sj3969 you are so right! APs and suspected APs not doing the work are always looking for validation in the comment section of DA videos.

If your wife goes to work always be ready for her to come home and say she isnt happy anymore. If your ready for it it wont hurt as bad cause you wont be blindsided. So many men never see it coming because they dont want to.