Welcome to The Psychology Podcast with Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, where we give you insights into the mind, brain, behavior and creativity. Each episode will feature a guest who will stimulate your mind, and give you a greater understanding of yourself, others, and the world we live in. Hopefully, we’ll also provide a glimpse into human possibility! Thanks for listening and enjoy the podcast.
Executive Producer: Zoe Ziegler; Editor: Jerome Avendano; Music: Bad Neighbor
KZread Manager: Emily Ward
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what an awesome chat...now I have to grab the book!
39:20 💯
learning how to properly say a guest's name demonstrates true care/ not learning is careless
I opened up to my therapist through email and it looks like she didn't believe me and thought that I was only sending that email to convince her to help me get disability. It's not true cus I was afraid so that's why is ent it through email to avoid retaliation. I even told the clinician that I didn't feel safe were I lived but I didn't open up to her for those same reasons.
This was such an amazing message you were discussing, but I just can't help but feel this was great opportunity to draw an analogy of why caring about Congo,Sudan, Palestine etc is important for everyone's betterment. Regardless though, absolutely amazing message
I have two Coverts living next door. Every time they go to do yard work it ends with a few mean words then follows silent for hours. Sitting back and wondering how will that relationship end! The female reminds me of my mother. UGH
Why did the flat earther get lost at sea… He couldn’t find the horizon. 😂🤣🥲😅🙂 😒 😔 (Wanted some positivity) (Also energy in physics is defined as an objects ability to do work😊)
Have you (the interviewer ) ever done any introspection??
I’m so glad you said we don’t have to be shut down because we call someone a narcissist and we’re not therapists. After seeing so many videos on narcissism, there is no doubt that the person I know definitely has these characteristics. She even said after going to therapy with her family that the blame was put on her, but she never acknowledged that she was the cause of the problems in her family.
Such judgement and othering of the "woo-woo pseudo-science crowd", then casually notes menstrual cycles aligning? Seems we are all susceptible.
🩸🛑Huge misinformation alarm: it has been long proven that female cycles DO NOT cynchronise. I was really interested in what he has to say, but not knowing such a long established information undermines his academic trustworthyness for me. Other than this, great episode.
Dr. Ramani is absolutely wonderful in her knowledge! She’s a gift to this world.
IFS and Dr. Schwartz changed the approach worldwide and all the gratitude is more than deserved. With all respect for your condescending part, thank you for sharing this video.
My experience has never been validated , and no one ever will , I am on my own , to live the best life I can
I’m glad I am reading: “It’s not you.” Very thankful for the book which is not just a repeat of stuff I’ve heard on the many podcasts I’ve listened to.
“Un-crazying” someone! Yep. That’s me….
I'm sorry, but this dude is a moron.
He is so rude to her.!! Very inappropriate for him to treat her that way. He doesn't say her name correctly.. wow
I just watched Dr. Ramani’s episode and came to watch this episode on collective narcissism when the an ad break came about 3 minutes in from Turning Point USA spouting some racist and misogynistic nonsense about Black people. Are you choosing which ads support your show? Is this channel ok with that type of ad revenue?
Oh my goddddd...the lengths this guy goes to make himself seem like he's a "GOOD GUY"....not only is it incredibly annoying, but it definitely guarantees he is NOT a nice guy. Not really.
I like how she reframed people pleasing as a necessary survival strategy for those of us who had mothers who were narcissists. It became clearer to me that my mother’s adoptee status who never had a relationship with her biological parents evolved into a narcissistic personality.
I think one of the expanations for people falling victim to narcissists or cult leaders is the deep desire in us to find an ideal person to follow. The narcissist presents an attractive ideal veneer.
I wonder if vulnerable narcissists can be successful - even by the world's standards - but it never feels like enough, either because part of the success is a facade OR because whatever level of success they have, they feel that they were thwarted from reaching the level they deserve.
3:05 Finally... I was sick of clinicians' and therapist's egomania that like they can easily figure out if they see a narcissist in a consultation. And not allowing you to spot one.
I want to hear more conversations between the 2 of you! Have you spoke with John Verveake?
Thanks! Yes, you can watch here: scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/awakening-from-the-meaning-crisis-john-vaervaeke/
With people pleasing we need to take step back. What are the origins of this? Is this trauma informed behavior? Was this a way how person maintained attachments? If a person had narcissistic parent, being a people pleaser was the only way they were going to get any form of attunement from that parent. People pleasing now is literally may be safety behavior. What is function of people pleasing- only by doing I am going to be safe. Fixing becomes love 🟥 Dr. Ramani Durvasula - this is the only person who recognize people pleasing - all other authors ashame it as being too nice syndrome.
Tip: if you ran a "psychology" podcast - you won't get seriously if you use F word.
Dr Sam Vaknin maintains that the latest research indicates narcissists are equally likely to be female as male. This is at odds with the contention here that it's more like 75% male to 25% female, or 3:1 ratio. Interesting.
Read her book Word for Word, yet can’t pronounce her name?
You have a good show, I wish Joe would have takes more☺️
At 15 years of marriage, when I finally went for help, my psychologist asked why I was there; I said “My husband is driving me crazy” She told me I was married to an alcoholic after many questions, but Dr Ramini made me realize that primarily he was, and is, a narcissist. 10 years in Alanon, it still didn’t come together until she filled in the blanks. Thank you Dr R!
Dude is a buffoon.
Dr. Ramani is a rare, concisely, clear, empathetic, and supportive voice for those of us who suffer from antagonistic relationships. I value her insight, her knowledge, her understanding, and her compassion! Dr. Ramani, well said in this broadcast!
I beg to differ that everyone is attracted to narcissists. I am completely turned off and repelled by them.
Narcs do not come with narcissists tattooed on their forehead. They are manipulative - and they are actors. They have glib charm like psychopaths. All this means - that they will appear as saints and as saviors and the most perfect person you seen in your life. At first. The fake social mask will appear as their true persona - and with honeymoon phase - they are like flash eating plant attracting the insects with the sweet aroma. So people will fall into the predatory jaws easily. This is why education in NPD is crucial and especially from deep experts like Dr Ramani.
You haven’t met the charming, love bombing one yet!
My sister is the narcissist that drives me to these videos; and I’ve never been loved bombed by her. Insult bombed, 💯 but there’s no love there. She is good at love bombing other people in my presence though, just to make sure it’s clear that I’m a horrible person. But it’s phony and hollow. She is a vulnerable narcissist which is even less attractive. As far as the smooth talking narcissists, I see right through them. I’ve only ever been attracted to nice men, and I’m married to the best one. I’m lucky and grateful for that.
You just said that the victim gets to the point where they record a conversation/ argument with the narcissist. Well I have known two narcissists that recorded a victim after reactive abuse, they get the victim worked up and pushed all the right buttons and then press record them having a reaction. I came across a recording of me accidentally of a fight and I remember the fight and there were pieces of the fight missing, then at the end of the recording the narcissist says “ now you see what I have to deal with”. So the victim can be made to look like the narcissist.
The recording is absolutely awful. Never had it in a relationship until my present one.
Ramani is a legit warrior
My daughter called me a narcissist and have convinced others that I am a narcissist. I had been on therapy at this point 9-10 years and making good progress. Because she said I just found a therapist that would tell me what I want to hear, I got referrals to a psychologist that his specialty is diagnosing behavioral issues and narcissism, so I went and had a complete psychiatric evaluation done. I got the report of his findings and gave it to my daughter and therapist, it showed I was not a narcissist, that I had extreme trauma and low ADHD. My daughter didn’t back down from her claim I was a narcissist and smear campaign.
Ok.
My daughter called me a narcissist and have convinced others that I am a narcissist. I had been on therapy at this point 9-10 years and making good progress. Because she said I just found a therapist that would tell me what I want to hear, I got referrals to a psychologist that his specialty is diagnosing behavioral issues and narcissism, so I went and had a complete psychiatric evaluation done. I got the report of his findings and gave it to my daughter and therapist, it showed I was not a narcissist, that I had extreme trauma and low ADHD. My daughter didn’t back down from her claim I was a narcissist and smear campaign.
There's a narcissist there but it's not you.
Dr. Ramani, you outshined the host and were so good at making your intelligence known on this subject. 👏 Course everyone knows you are THE person to go to for in-depth knowledge of narcissists. I can't thank you enough for saving my sanity.❤
first step, bud: pronouce your guest's name correctly. I can't even watch this because you are too lazy to get that right.
Well 90 percent of men are like him.
I don't like the questions the host was asking Dr. Ramani, smells like red-pill
Yeah sounds like hes dipping into the red-bill-red-flag manosphere, hope he recovers soon.
@@Jaylade Let's hope he reads the comments and do something about his issues.
«Mostly female Audience” I am from Norway and you just don’t use language like that. For us it sounds as stupid and uninformed as “he was a male doctor”
Hes just adding details
@@Jaylade just unnecessary, and is it true? An intrest in psychology I would guess is gender neutral.
Thank you Dr 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
This dude was shaming himself each time he opened up his mouth, making unintelligent remarks and gibberish jargons. Why would the producer allow such an inexperience and immature fool to conduct this interview with Dr Ramani? She deserves better!! Dr Ramani is such an amazing and highly intelligent person and it was so degrading to assign this fool to interview her. It feels like Dr Ramani is parenting a teenager who pretends to be the cool kid throughout the whole interview.
I think this was done deliberately in order to introduce heavy and difficult topis of psychiatry with many people who are not much educated in psychology, or are not interested to learn all the clinical definitions - but they still suffer from NPD due to toxic colleagues or boss or family members in their lives.
I've just watched the whole video and this dude is catastrophe. At around 38 minute he is screeching mysterious sound, I thought at first there is some animal in my room. Rarely annoying person to listen. If there was no Ramani here, I would quit watching it long time ago.
I think the Psychology fields need to add a few more chapters into the existing psychological disorders such as Passive/Aggressive behaviors, CODEPENDENCY with NARCISSISTIC DISORDERS and their detrimental effects on the victims worst than anything else..I hope the APA would be able to get enough Federal Aids for research projects in these areas and last but not least I bet ya there are plenty of high profiles government's officials who might funded these programs are actually the Narcissistic themselves 😂😅..
"poeple pleaser to asshole" lol Hes trying every angle to excuse narcissistic behavior which is inately abusive.
I cannot get over him saying "Well atent you miss assertive". Hahaha Dr Ramani is talking fast because she has a lot damage control to do with this dude. He is clearly clueless and seems to want to "one up her"
Aren't*
This guy is not happy that men statistically are more of the abusive mentality than women. This is historic. Don't check her book facts, check history dude.
👏👏👏 this dude is just not sharp enough..
It appears that he hides his laziness as being convinced that he is a nice guy. I smell traits of narcissism here.
I'd like to hear more on the traits of a grandoise vs vulnerable narcissist
I listen to the podcast on the Alexa Echo Pop and come here to leave a Thumbs Up. This one was especially good because it hits every key point of every single stage as it progresses to reach FINALLY the state of going no contact. I'm 64 and came out the other side of a narcissistic mother and a collection of narcissists I "collected" and played the victim although being in a co-dependent relationship there is NO victim, just a dance between two playing a sort of game. They use other terms other than "no contact" but it's the same... changing the narrative is what is needed because taking a victim mentality makes one inapproachable because the "victim-hood" becomes an addiction. No one likes "Victim Personalities". Setting boundaries that we enforce for our own well-being is key to shutting out these blind humans. No, you're not being "Selfish", it's called self-preservation. Narcissists can and will destroy you if you let them. Don't let them!
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