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Just one thing I don’t find it hard to trust but more like, I trust too easily; then I get manipulated sometimes and sometimes I get disappointed because I start overly committing to the friendship and I expect the same from them but they don’t have the same attachment to me like I do to them… and so… manier times due to this one sided commitment we just drift apart & friendships end ; or the “bestie” just turns into an acquaintance
@plumedescaraibes453618 күн бұрын
Very informative. Thank you
@andreahoyosl21 күн бұрын
I have all those super powers🎉❤
@riverbilly64Ай бұрын
Really disappointed that this channel has stopped posting new content. Is it over?
@riverbilly64Ай бұрын
I made myself secure through therapy and self work. My parents developed a completely screwed up anxious attacher.
@Likes_Trains2 ай бұрын
2:20 the first tip everything until that point is just waffle
@christenatwillie2 ай бұрын
I'm thankful for the attachment project and I hope to continue to learn how I can build a more secure attachment style 😊
@mickhick6192 ай бұрын
My superpower is I'm still breathing
@Royalempress882 ай бұрын
I did the quiz abd mine came vack secure when i am disorganised. So.e questio s were difficumt to answer because it was not asking the riggt questions such as am i afraid people will not live me or feel for me as i do them and i answered no becuase i dont love people easily and i dont get close to people even though i. Hella friendly so its i.possible for someone to not love.like or like me as much i i do them cos theirs should be more than mine
@Angel-ip7pw2 ай бұрын
everyday is painful for me
@Dr.EvansSoulfulBalanceTherapy3 ай бұрын
Great explanation. I have my clients complete the attachment style quiz so we can begin doing the work to unpack how they show up in relationships. I also took the quiz too for myself so I can have a better understanding of my own behaviors. I can say much of what was discussed is spot on.
@Dr.EvansSoulfulBalanceTherapy3 ай бұрын
Great explanation! I can definitely see a lot of this in myself. As a therapist, I can't take an objective stance with my clients and not take the quiz too. I think this will be quite helpful in unpacking my behavior.
@sincerefaithfulness3 ай бұрын
So how to heal?? Yes resilience and perseverance are the quality few people have said about me.
@Drty_Dave4 ай бұрын
This is so not true. Its really black and white and its kind of far from my experiences. I think these "super powers" are more of a personality trait than it is an attachment.
@chivonfortney16564 ай бұрын
This has been me all my life.
@elanorthefair10915 ай бұрын
Thank you, this is encouraging. It's really hard not to just view myself and broken and useless knowing how difficult it is for me sometimes to form healthy relationships with people. So it's really nice to hear that there are things that can come easily to me, and not everything has to be a battle against this coding I had no control over.
@BebbaDubbs5 ай бұрын
Know that you are NOT broken! You just haven't learned the rules of the social game of life... That's okay because it's totally possible to do ❤ I do suggest a secure partner or friend to work with. I'm Securely attached but enjoy that my almost 15 year partner is disorganized and I LOVE HIM for the EXACT reasons in this video. I get overwhelmed with anxiously preoccupied parters, and avoidant ones hurt my feelings. I'm happy to do some of the mental load to help him feel secure because he is so perfectly matched for me ❤
@janinaraisa6 ай бұрын
Thank you for the video
@user-xz6hl2yj9u6 ай бұрын
Ariel Genevieve Stanley lee marsh Rd deland Florida
@user-xz6hl2yj9u6 ай бұрын
Ariel Genevieve Stanley lee marsh rd .
@-living4jesus4ever-6 ай бұрын
This is a fantastic video. Clear, concise, well-made. I scored for the secure, and it was very interesting. Please keep making videos as I don’t see very many of them recently. These are very insightful. Perhaps you can do some role-play videos to show the different styles. That would be very helpful and you’d have an appreciative audience. 🩵😀
@MahelaIndeewara7 ай бұрын
Hi I need help my relationship where my girlfriend is the avoident type and i'd be the anxious type. can someone help?
@JA-xq6eq7 ай бұрын
Please change the narration voice. Very phony and annoying secretary voice
@B3arAbl39 ай бұрын
Imagine your attachment style as a quirky recipe for friendship soup. Some days, you throw in too many ingredients, making it too spicy, and other times, you forget to add any flavor at all. 🍲
@user-hw8qt6xo8y9 ай бұрын
These videos are so overlooked. I thank you for them!
@momoskiess10 ай бұрын
wow. this is so true gawd.
@johnmubenesha868511 ай бұрын
Thanks
@BebbaDubbs11 ай бұрын
I never knew about disorganized attachment styles until much later in life. I used to think the shifting triggers meant they were lying to me about what their triggers were; I'd never considered a person NOT knowing they were doing that. It's very helpful, as a secure attached person, to know because I feel less hurt by disorganized attachment styles now.
@dominiquecadet5976Ай бұрын
Same for me! I found out about attachment style just a coupleof months ago. I’m pretty sure I dated an FA (disorganized). I was very hurt by his actions but I now understand what happened. My goal though is to be with someone secure like myself.
@samanthamiller7267 Жыл бұрын
Write her a novel*. She will learn freakishly slow at first. But, that’s okay we’re here now. 🥰🤷🏻♀️
@0JMR1 Жыл бұрын
It's nice seeing that I DO have some strengths !!! Pls keep up the positive perspectives.
@hcpiano Жыл бұрын
Pls do one on avoidant attachment style :)
@BGLuver97 Жыл бұрын
Where are the super powers video
@jennamartin5913 Жыл бұрын
All of this!
@BebbaDubbs Жыл бұрын
It was only recently that my husband and I have been able to identify what is different about our relationship.. It's only that ONE of us has a secure attachment style. That's it. It's so weird that having one of us believe everything is workable and the second trusts the first... It works out ❤
@BebbaDubbs Жыл бұрын
I have dyslexia, I said to myself: "I HAVE detached art teacher friends, but I didn't know that was a 'thing'."
@sunbeam9222 Жыл бұрын
The first 30 seconds of that video already got me eye rolling as in yeah yeah that's me, i heard it 100 times before. I guess I need to keep watching 🤦😕🙃
@matthewspears3786 Жыл бұрын
I know I have a disorganized attachment style. I've known it for decades. I've even read Dr. Brown's textbook on attachment. The simple truth is that therapy and all the commercialized healing modalities I sincerely dove into made my trauma symptoms *much* worse. Dr. Daniel Brown noted on one of his podcasts that he found working with trauma in with a disorganized attachment created more trauma. You need to create a truly secure attachment first and foremost before doing anything else. I wish this was more known because there's so much pressure to heal trauma immediately. A major problem is that it's bullshit that therapists can offer a real secure attachment. I'm sorry, but paying someone $100+ an hour to play a role for you is never going to be a secure attachment when they can leave at any time. The therapists give performative empathy (not deep) and usually offer very shaky bonds. Then there's the reality that most therapists are not that balanced themselves; a recent professor I listened to said that she thought that perhaps 70% of therapists give as much harm as help due to their own issues. Most try their best, but it's a business and they're not your real friend. But you're supposed to pretend that they are and have a pressure to be vulnerable before real trust is built, which just reproduces the original disorganized trauma, pretending something is love for survival. I don't have a magic answer here. The polarization and breakdown of community and trust in this society in Covid times has also had a major impact. To me the first step is honesty and being realistic when there's no real community and trust. There's an incredible amount of toxic positivity out there in healing groups, for example, even if subtle. This is where there's a distancing when 'negative' emotions like distrust, fear or anger are directly shown. By "directly shown", I mean when they show fully in the voice and body as opposed to dissociatively using feeling words in a monotone voice which is the norm. Those are exactly the emotions that need to be allowed in a safe and secure relationship to find out that it's safe and secure, obviously made visible in a healthy way without venting. We have two polarized models of emotions in our society, the crazy neurotic kind shown on the screen and the dissociative way of using feeling words, neither of which are helpful for someone with difficult emotions. Mad in America has done some great work being honest about the realities of therapy and the business of mental health, as has the Open Dialogue movement. What people need are communities to be welcomed in that have good boundaries in them (i.e., filter out the narcissists flocking to the spaces that welcome everyone no matter what), have models and good containers for showing emotions without it being a big deal, and provide means for everyone to help and support other people in some way. Which means profit and bureaucratic involvement needs to be minimized. I recently had a supportive experience from a friend where I was a little unregulated and we felt things together. Almost always people are now programmed to shut down their own emotions and go clinical in order to give "support", which is mostly what therapists do. But that's not a full connection. If anything, the gift a disorganized person can give is to get past the bullshit of what connection and attachment really is, because if it's real and not performative, magic happens.
@ohnoao9847 Жыл бұрын
Very interesting indeed. I am new to this entire thing, but have been suffering physically for about 5 years now. I got something funky going on that no doctor can figure out what the heck so I'm going inward to solve this what the heck for myself!
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Just one thing I don’t find it hard to trust but more like, I trust too easily; then I get manipulated sometimes and sometimes I get disappointed because I start overly committing to the friendship and I expect the same from them but they don’t have the same attachment to me like I do to them… and so… manier times due to this one sided commitment we just drift apart & friendships end ; or the “bestie” just turns into an acquaintance
Very informative. Thank you
I have all those super powers🎉❤
Really disappointed that this channel has stopped posting new content. Is it over?
I made myself secure through therapy and self work. My parents developed a completely screwed up anxious attacher.
2:20 the first tip everything until that point is just waffle
I'm thankful for the attachment project and I hope to continue to learn how I can build a more secure attachment style 😊
My superpower is I'm still breathing
I did the quiz abd mine came vack secure when i am disorganised. So.e questio s were difficumt to answer because it was not asking the riggt questions such as am i afraid people will not live me or feel for me as i do them and i answered no becuase i dont love people easily and i dont get close to people even though i. Hella friendly so its i.possible for someone to not love.like or like me as much i i do them cos theirs should be more than mine
everyday is painful for me
Great explanation. I have my clients complete the attachment style quiz so we can begin doing the work to unpack how they show up in relationships. I also took the quiz too for myself so I can have a better understanding of my own behaviors. I can say much of what was discussed is spot on.
Great explanation! I can definitely see a lot of this in myself. As a therapist, I can't take an objective stance with my clients and not take the quiz too. I think this will be quite helpful in unpacking my behavior.
So how to heal?? Yes resilience and perseverance are the quality few people have said about me.
This is so not true. Its really black and white and its kind of far from my experiences. I think these "super powers" are more of a personality trait than it is an attachment.
This has been me all my life.
Thank you, this is encouraging. It's really hard not to just view myself and broken and useless knowing how difficult it is for me sometimes to form healthy relationships with people. So it's really nice to hear that there are things that can come easily to me, and not everything has to be a battle against this coding I had no control over.
Know that you are NOT broken! You just haven't learned the rules of the social game of life... That's okay because it's totally possible to do ❤ I do suggest a secure partner or friend to work with. I'm Securely attached but enjoy that my almost 15 year partner is disorganized and I LOVE HIM for the EXACT reasons in this video. I get overwhelmed with anxiously preoccupied parters, and avoidant ones hurt my feelings. I'm happy to do some of the mental load to help him feel secure because he is so perfectly matched for me ❤
Thank you for the video
Ariel Genevieve Stanley lee marsh Rd deland Florida
Ariel Genevieve Stanley lee marsh rd .
This is a fantastic video. Clear, concise, well-made. I scored for the secure, and it was very interesting. Please keep making videos as I don’t see very many of them recently. These are very insightful. Perhaps you can do some role-play videos to show the different styles. That would be very helpful and you’d have an appreciative audience. 🩵😀
Hi I need help my relationship where my girlfriend is the avoident type and i'd be the anxious type. can someone help?
Please change the narration voice. Very phony and annoying secretary voice
Imagine your attachment style as a quirky recipe for friendship soup. Some days, you throw in too many ingredients, making it too spicy, and other times, you forget to add any flavor at all. 🍲
These videos are so overlooked. I thank you for them!
wow. this is so true gawd.
Thanks
I never knew about disorganized attachment styles until much later in life. I used to think the shifting triggers meant they were lying to me about what their triggers were; I'd never considered a person NOT knowing they were doing that. It's very helpful, as a secure attached person, to know because I feel less hurt by disorganized attachment styles now.
Same for me! I found out about attachment style just a coupleof months ago. I’m pretty sure I dated an FA (disorganized). I was very hurt by his actions but I now understand what happened. My goal though is to be with someone secure like myself.
Write her a novel*. She will learn freakishly slow at first. But, that’s okay we’re here now. 🥰🤷🏻♀️
It's nice seeing that I DO have some strengths !!! Pls keep up the positive perspectives.
Pls do one on avoidant attachment style :)
Where are the super powers video
All of this!
It was only recently that my husband and I have been able to identify what is different about our relationship.. It's only that ONE of us has a secure attachment style. That's it. It's so weird that having one of us believe everything is workable and the second trusts the first... It works out ❤
I have dyslexia, I said to myself: "I HAVE detached art teacher friends, but I didn't know that was a 'thing'."
The first 30 seconds of that video already got me eye rolling as in yeah yeah that's me, i heard it 100 times before. I guess I need to keep watching 🤦😕🙃
I know I have a disorganized attachment style. I've known it for decades. I've even read Dr. Brown's textbook on attachment. The simple truth is that therapy and all the commercialized healing modalities I sincerely dove into made my trauma symptoms *much* worse. Dr. Daniel Brown noted on one of his podcasts that he found working with trauma in with a disorganized attachment created more trauma. You need to create a truly secure attachment first and foremost before doing anything else. I wish this was more known because there's so much pressure to heal trauma immediately. A major problem is that it's bullshit that therapists can offer a real secure attachment. I'm sorry, but paying someone $100+ an hour to play a role for you is never going to be a secure attachment when they can leave at any time. The therapists give performative empathy (not deep) and usually offer very shaky bonds. Then there's the reality that most therapists are not that balanced themselves; a recent professor I listened to said that she thought that perhaps 70% of therapists give as much harm as help due to their own issues. Most try their best, but it's a business and they're not your real friend. But you're supposed to pretend that they are and have a pressure to be vulnerable before real trust is built, which just reproduces the original disorganized trauma, pretending something is love for survival. I don't have a magic answer here. The polarization and breakdown of community and trust in this society in Covid times has also had a major impact. To me the first step is honesty and being realistic when there's no real community and trust. There's an incredible amount of toxic positivity out there in healing groups, for example, even if subtle. This is where there's a distancing when 'negative' emotions like distrust, fear or anger are directly shown. By "directly shown", I mean when they show fully in the voice and body as opposed to dissociatively using feeling words in a monotone voice which is the norm. Those are exactly the emotions that need to be allowed in a safe and secure relationship to find out that it's safe and secure, obviously made visible in a healthy way without venting. We have two polarized models of emotions in our society, the crazy neurotic kind shown on the screen and the dissociative way of using feeling words, neither of which are helpful for someone with difficult emotions. Mad in America has done some great work being honest about the realities of therapy and the business of mental health, as has the Open Dialogue movement. What people need are communities to be welcomed in that have good boundaries in them (i.e., filter out the narcissists flocking to the spaces that welcome everyone no matter what), have models and good containers for showing emotions without it being a big deal, and provide means for everyone to help and support other people in some way. Which means profit and bureaucratic involvement needs to be minimized. I recently had a supportive experience from a friend where I was a little unregulated and we felt things together. Almost always people are now programmed to shut down their own emotions and go clinical in order to give "support", which is mostly what therapists do. But that's not a full connection. If anything, the gift a disorganized person can give is to get past the bullshit of what connection and attachment really is, because if it's real and not performative, magic happens.
Very interesting indeed. I am new to this entire thing, but have been suffering physically for about 5 years now. I got something funky going on that no doctor can figure out what the heck so I'm going inward to solve this what the heck for myself!